Life and Times of Teh Asuka

In Which A Secret Mutantblood Unknowingly Picks Up A Member Of The Nobility In A Bar Of Ill-Repute, After Which They Proceed To Have Sex, Fall Asleep, Then Have Sex Again While The Mutant Desperately Tries To Hide His Blood Color And Not Laugh At The Blueblood's Deplorable Jokes. Contains References To Ashen Pornography, A Somewhat Pitiable Inability To Handle The Gloriousness Of War, And Mentions Of Conciliatory Perversions Unsuitable For Trolls Aged Eight Or Under.

((btw I’m going with indigo-Equius, purple-Gamzee, violet-Eridan.))

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"Dude," someone mutters against his neck. "Dude, your communicator is beeping."

Karkat blinks away the afterimage of his dreams -- some boring cliché horsebeastshit about wading through a mess of alien larvae during a mission. It's dark in the recuperacoon, but a faint greenish glow comes from outside.

The slime isn't great, but better than they get in the barracks; it would be easy to sink back into its embrace...

He doesn't care about the dream (terrified pupae, gore squelching under the tread of his combat boots) and he does vaguely want to find out if the other troll pressed against his side would let him sink into his arms again (maybe his nook, even, shit, that part of yesterday was good.) Hey, the guy didn't steal Karkat's wallet or cull him during the day, Karkat likes his odds.

"Dude," the man mumbles, eyes entirely closed, and disappears under the surface with a quiet glop. His horns emerge from the orange up, two windswept, rolling curves that Karkat is almost (vaguely, entirely) sure he had his hands on at some point...

Karkat grabs the edge with both hands and fits his feet in the holds and executes a smooth-as-hell roll through the round opening.

(He lands on his heels and stumbles back, but the wall of the recuperacoon breaks his fall before he can get very far.)

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It's not a bad explosion, as those things get. Blows the shit out of his hinges, and makes the decorative door panels shudder and fall out of alignment like a linebacker rammed them, but it's a foot that finishes the job of knocking the door down.

His gun is -- stupidly -- all the way downstairs in the gun safe by the door. It's out of reach the second the first man rushes through -- a huge wall of a man, square and meaty -- and then the second man comes in on his heels and Dave gives it up for lost.

Under him on the main floor Karkat starts snarling, steps forward to meet the threat, but there's a machine gun in the first man's hands and Dave can see nothing but the confettied mess it would make of his non-shelled face.

"Get out of here!" he yells, and shoves the half-open windowpane out of his way and swings himself out and onto the ancient straight ladder bolted to the outside wall.

Two men on the fire escape's last landing, just under him; he hears glass breaking. One of them looks up, gun up --

Aradia rushes through him with barely a thought; the gun jams, trigger frozen in time. Dave beats Olympic records of ladder-climbing.

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In Which Byrd Sprite Strider Chats in Logs, Fulfills Some Shipping Charts, and Discovers the Joys of Twincest (Not Really.) Not Suitable to Trolls of Seven Sweeps of Under for a Somewhat Libertine Approach to Feelings Jams.

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TA: yeah your human poliice and mediiterrorii2t2 have them iin 2ome buiildiing2. but the healthy one2 are 2uppo2ed to be relea2ed 2oonii2h.
TA: 2orry ii can't explaiin iit better, your legale2e ii2 even more annoyiing than our2.
TA: ii feel 2o fuckiing 2tupiid not beiing able to par2e that 2hiit, god. iit'2 not even liike iit'2 anythiing compliicated!!
GT: Shoosh shoosh my good man! Your brain is still stupendous amounts of brilliant even at its most rambunctious!
GT: Why if being unable to parse these makes you a fool then what am i right? Haha.
TG: you shooshin him now wow what does aradia think of this
TA: thiink2 iit2 fuckiing hiilariiou2 that of all thiing2 to piick up from her he cho2e that one of fuckiing cour2e. ii mean iit2 AA, what el2e?
GT: Why what is wrong with wishing to soothe my good pal sollux in the quaint and friendly manner of his people???
TG: nothing buddy
TG: yeah absolutely nothing
TG: mentioning this for no reason at all but its amazing how you can really feel karkats absence in this chatroom somehow
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Anonymous asked: BT guys shower gangbang fantasy/embarassing wet dream?

(yay for fishing old prompts out of the abyss! weirdass floaty dream ahoy. contain vague dream porn, stealth angst and dreamy creepiness. also probably happens either during the first half of chapter 7 or before chpt7 entirely.)

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He's walking at a fast pace in the weird alien corridors of this weird alien hive (not running, the labs will get him if he runs), turning left and right and left. He's alone, it's weird, he should find John (he should enjoy being alone but being alone here isn't safe, the labs will get him). He doesn't know where John is though, but yes, he knows, John is where John always goes.

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mitsuhachiinthehive asked: Petstuck! Equikat? Tnnf-verse would be really cute, but other situations might also be shiny.

(a troll not named fuckass) (nooo he’s a baby forever ;_; have some baby cuteness yes)

I AM DONE SPAMMING. \o/

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Anonymous asked: John/Jade/Karkat - John and Jade are demon summoners (for reasons) trying to call up an incubus/succubus (for reasons). They get Karkat.

1200 words. No porn, but arousal, some silliness.

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"The teacher's going to be kind of pissed, isn't she?" John says, and giggles. Jade snorts back at him.

"It's not like succubi are on the restricted list, so really, she should have been clearer." She prods John with her foot; he's sitting a quart of the circle away from her. "Double-check the wards properly! Dying of awesome sex would be a good way to go if we have to, but I'm not keeling over before I get my diploma, okay?"

John rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Jade keeps watching him from the corner of her eye for a few seconds; he seems to be doing it seriously, at least, even if he's still huffy. "Bluh. I get why you'd need it, but not why I need to pass demonology if my major is weather magic."

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Mostly homestuck, a trolls!GW AU, and a Dave/Karkat Pacific Rim/Jaeger Pilots AU that's like six times three sentences plus a seventh for the road. .__.

( After the massive brawl in the cafeteria is contained they tell him in cold, disappointed tones that the guy whose nose he broke for being an intolerable shitwaffle (which started the whole thing) was the same guy who they summoned him here for, for the way their scores match so strangely well on paper. )

... That John/Jade/Karkat/Terezi/Dave post-game ot5 recuperacoon porn thing.

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Done spamming for today. Phew.
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Petstuck, once again for the kink meme though there's no sex at all in it. Petstuck AU, which means trolls are sentient-ish animals. This is not a fic about adressing everything that is wrong with owning sentient beings and activism to save their asses, those have been written already. It’s early days in troll ownership yet and not a lot is known about them.

Jade accidentally adopts a young, orphaned troll, much against the wishes of her long-suffering boyfriend. Horrible cuteness ensues.

( 'Bec,' Jade asks very patiently, like the totally understanding dog lady she is, 'why is there a baby troll riding you like a pony?' )