Life and Times of Teh Asuka

For a too-long moment you're struck completely dumb. You kneel there like a tool with a cat on your shoulder and a cat on your head as gunshots keep cracking on the deck above.

Running steps, several, heavy, and you can't really tell but you can tell anyway, they're not any of yours.

Steps on the stairs. You throw yourself back into the laundry room, your hand up to keep Gcat from falling. He slips anyway to become your new kitty hat, his paws on your shades knocking them askew and those are automatic guns outside so you captchalogue them, hat-cat and ear-warmer-cat both. (You tag them FELINE OVERLORDS for sylladex indexing purposes.) You just, nowhere fuckin' else to put them and ooooh fuck, where are you supposed to hide in here, the light's still on. You slap it off but the corridor still has little lights on so you can't come out, and then you hear them, one person, two.

( Read more... )

Anonymous asked: Dave/Terezi/Karkat, Temeraire-verse, bonus level: Karkat is the dragon, it is him.

Merged with this one!

Dave/Karkat/Terezi, they are all shipwrecked on an island together.

--

Dave comes to with the point of something hard poking him in the ribs, someone cheerfully spouting gibberish at the top of her voice over him. His head hurts and opening his eyes to the sunlight he can feel on his face seems a horrible idea; he groans, goes "No," turns his head away.

A second poke ensues, and sudden shadows. He cracks an eye open before he can be poked a third time; he can feel the bruise rising already, and his body is sore enough as it is.

Oh, huh. There are breasts at the other end of that poking stick. Perky and brown, with the nipples even browner.

"She says, she does not care if you look at the wrong places that don't make words, but if you think you don't have to answer with words she may let me eat you."

Right. So.

The shadow.

That's a dragon's wing.

The beast isn't big at all, as they go -- twice as high as a bull, squat and muscled like one. When Dave is sprawled almost straight under it, it's plenty big enough.

There are spikes everywhere. It would just have to lower itself and roll around a little bit, and Dave would end up very mushy.

The woman leans in, pokes him again -- oh, it's a spear. He should probably be glad she's using the butt and not the blade. She purses her mouth in puzzled annoyance, says something else. Dave slooowly pushes himself up on his elbows. Everything hurts.

"Are you Dutch? I don't speak Dutch. Hey, you whiter than normal pale face. Devil eyes. Cow face. I will step on you."( Read more... )

For this kink meme prompt:
So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦

Contains: trollstuck human characters, pale ephebophilia/age difference issues, Bro being juuuust a little creepy.

Also background Dave/Terezi/Karkat shenanigans. Because I could. >__>

( ghastlyTrickster [GT] started trolling turntechGodhead [TG] )

Half of the fic is humor and fluff and snarky dialogue (the snarky dialogue continues into the porn, tbh) (...in SPACE!! not that this is very plot-relevant. XD) The pairings are a big clusterfuck of overlapping two- and threesomes between Jade, Dave, Karkat, John and Terezi.

(the quadrant grid looks something like. uh. (john♦jade)♥karkat, terezi♥/♠karkat♥/♠dave, (john♠terezi)♣karkat, karkat♥jade♥dave etcetera etcetera. It's ridiculous.)

I love this 'verse. Might do more with it at a later date, idk. This fic is really just me catering to my poly needs in the most fun gratuitious way I could.

Also contains double penetration and recuperacoon sex. (that's basically a vat of goo that trolls sleep in, for those not up to date on homestuck lingo. XD)

( I would advise you to get your grubby claws off the gravity controls before I get to you, Mister Blueberry Surprise! )

.___. CHECK PREVIOUS POST I DID NOT POST IT TO DW/LJ BEFORE WHOOPS.

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“Crash Standing, Or, An Account Of The Post-Game Life of One Byrd Sprite Strider, Aged Sixteen” Presents:
a Succint Yet Accurate Summary in the Form of Haiku:
LO, THERE IT COMES BACK
INAPPROPRIATE BONER
FUCKHELL NOT AGAIN

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Chapter 9


Flying by plane is just about the most boring thing you have ever experienced in your life, and considering you once spent three years of your life stuck on a ship surrounded by void, some more void on top, and a little more void in both front and back, that's saying something.

Granted, the ship was large. Granted, it was well-populated. Granted, your then-girlfriend could pop planets out of her pockets and send you a-questing whenever you got bored of the corridors.

It was still three years. Right now you've been on the plane four hours and you feel like you've entered Battleship: Year Four.

Your other self is the Dude of Time; you know from time shit. Someone is definitely messing the hell out of this flow. Goddamn US Airways.

( Read more... )

Chapter 6: day eleven, second attempt

There are a lot of existential questions you get to ponder, being the divine-computer-generated split-timelined double of some guy who was (the double, not the guy) merged with a crow and a katana and an alien Gamebro FAQ database while that other guy went on to become a god. Such as:

Why are you standing in a parking lot.

Why are you in a parking lot at the mall.( Read more... )

The Family You Choose ‘verse (fourth in the series, first being Awake at Night — click the tag). The first three dealt with culture clashes, and Dad Egbert adopting Karkat and Gamzee. This one is Davesprite-centric.

Post-Sburb on Earth, guardians are alive again, Dirk and Roxy get to live in the same time period as the other humans, all trolls who survived are being hosted by humans.

Pairing: Davesprite/Karkat, background Dave/Terezi and others.

It’s been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.

( Once upon a time she got your best bro killed and your Jade died as a result and you had to leave your Rose behind to wait alone in a doomed timeline for a horrible end to catch up. It's been weird sharing an apartment with her post-Game, but then again everything's been weird. )</a

Part one here.

This one's less actionny.

Karkat wasn't kidding about the sun and how it can kill you. There's a metric fuckton layers of leaves between you and the sky, and apparently the only thing it does is make things like a well-lit sauna. Standing in direct sunlight would probably microwave you alive in under fifteen minutes.

( 5 800 words )