askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
In Which A Secret Mutantblood Unknowingly Picks Up A Member Of The Nobility In A Bar Of Ill-Repute, After Which They Proceed To Have Sex, Fall Asleep, Then Have Sex Again While The Mutant Desperately Tries To Hide His Blood Color And Not Laugh At The Blueblood's Deplorable Jokes. Contains References To Ashen Pornography, A Somewhat Pitiable Inability To Handle The Gloriousness Of War, And Mentions Of Conciliatory Perversions Unsuitable For Trolls Aged Eight Or Under.

((btw I’m going with indigo-Equius, purple-Gamzee, violet-Eridan.))


"Dude," someone mutters against his neck. "Dude, your communicator is beeping."

Karkat blinks away the afterimage of his dreams -- some boring cliché horsebeastshit about wading through a mess of alien larvae during a mission. It's dark in the recuperacoon, but a faint greenish glow comes from outside.

The slime isn't great, but better than they get in the barracks; it would be easy to sink back into its embrace...

He doesn't care about the dream (terrified pupae, gore squelching under the tread of his combat boots) and he does vaguely want to find out if the other troll pressed against his side would let him sink into his arms again (maybe his nook, even, shit, that part of yesterday was good.) Hey, the guy didn't steal Karkat's wallet or cull him during the day, Karkat likes his odds.

"Dude," the man mumbles, eyes entirely closed, and disappears under the surface with a quiet glop. His horns emerge from the orange up, two windswept, rolling curves that Karkat is almost (vaguely, entirely) sure he had his hands on at some point...

Karkat grabs the edge with both hands and fits his feet in the holds and executes a smooth-as-hell roll through the round opening.

(He lands on his heels and stumbles back, but the wall of the recuperacoon breaks his fall before he can get very far.)

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Kudo had called ahead to say he'd bring along a case, so when the train pulled into the station Heiji was already sort of excited. Something big enough that Kudo would rather not handle it alone? Sounded several kinds of awesome. Potentially horrifying, but also awesome. (Kazuha told him that having thoughts like that was the sign of a bad person. He didn't get what she was on about.)

He saw Kudo step off the train -- blue jeans, white shirt, black cap -- and jogged his way through the crowd, already grinning. "Oi, Kudo!"

"Hattori!" Kudo called back, and stood waiting for him with his suitcase at his feet as people rushed all around. He looked happy to be here, too, in his restrained, no-this-is-sarcasm-not-happiness-I-swear way. Heiji was kind of tempted to kiss him, a great loud 'oh, you' smack right there in public.

"Hey, Kudo."

Kudo rolled his eyes, and parroted obligingly, "Hey, Hattori."

"Hey, Hattori, been a while."

Heiji waved his hand. "Yeah, hi t' ya too, Ku--"

... What.

He was vaguely aware that the Kudo in front of him was cracking up.

The Kudo standing to the side was merely grinning wide enough to make him wish he would, and get it over with.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
This is technically fic five in Swingersverse (the one where p much all the main characters in Shinichi's age group are banging open-relationship style), but fic Four (first time Kaitou Kid/Ran) has been stuck for the better part of three fucking years and I am sick and tired of sitting on the next one in the series.

So. Here it is, and maybe the Kid/Ran one will magically unstick itself. Maybe not. Whatevs.

(In the last episode, Shinichi and Heiji double-teamed Hakuba Saguru who was in Osaka for a heist, just before the heist, only for Ran to email Shinichi a picture of her naked legs with Kid's hat on it.

What happened was that she noticed Kid thanks to his resemblance to Shinichi and chased him around across the rooftops and he was delighted by her tenacity and daredevil karateka stunts and they end up fricking somehow.)

Heads up, it's way more angsty and melodramatic than the previous fics in this series who were all fairly upbeat porn.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
The porn chapter woo. half of this chapter is not porn if you guys don't like porn, stop reading when they start kissing or something. yep.

By the middle of the afternoon Sorin's seat had started feeling a bit too warm to be natural under him; Velimir was squirming and grunting with displeasure in his sleep. Considering the seats were solid wood, that was a bit worrisome. Sorin eyed the needles and quadrants but none of them told him anything he understood.

Maybe it needed to cool down. Or be refueled. Or both. The trees were tall and dark in this valley, so he found a flattish place between the trees he thought they could fit through and swerved the transport until they were well out of sight of the road. (He only crushed one bush, so hopefully it wouldn't be too noticeable.) Then he parked and nudged the Jäger awake.

Velimir jerked upright so fast he knocked his head into the door frame. Sorin winced.

"Did you just seriously make your concussion worse?"

"Oof. Mebbe." He squinted through the window. "Ve stopped?"

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
This one's got hella porn. w00t w00t.


Dave Strider @turntechgodhead
#springcleaning yo peeps who wanna feast their eyes on this choice domestic babe in an apron and authentic feather duster http://...

Dave snaps another pouty picture, uploads it, then puts the phone down for five minutes so he can finish dusting his vinyl records shelf.

He is totally wearing an apron. The feather duster is synthetic though. Neon green. Hey, it was cheap.

It's a nice afternoon outside; all his windows are open wide to let in a breeze, though since they're all facing the same side of the building he'd only get a real one going if he opened the front door too.

Then again there's a lot of loose paper he hasn't put away yet, so he probably shouldn't.

Wow, what a perfect time to check his phone again.

@turntechgodhead LOSE THE SHIRT YEEEHAW
man ur cute @turntechgodhead
@turntechgodhead #gayyyyyyyyyyyyy
@turntechgodhead ok good now the same in NOTHING but an apron ;3
@turntechgodhead Where's Karkat???

Yeah, ever since Karkat's follower count passed his, he's been getting followers through him, but they're here mostly for more domestic demon shenanigans. Pssh. What about following Dave for Dave? Posers. Noobs.

He snaps a picture of Karkat sitting up on the window seat gazing at the sky and scratching idly at the tendon bits under his knee spur, and attaches it to his reply.

#fuckyeahpetdemon guess whos slacking while others toil endlessly to render his living arrangements as dust free as humanly possible http://...

Fifteen seconds later he's getting pinged back.


@cruorGuardian touch my jar collection and you will be its replacement

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
zahhaked asked: "Latula/Mituna, first time after MT's accident (doesn't necessarily have to have "successful")"

No on-screen sex but they're still talking and thinking about it in pretty detailed ways. so, let's go with R. 640 words.


The third time he elbows her in the face is also the hardest. She doesn't manage to laugh it off in time, and his face twists and he flings himself off her so hard he slips over the edge of the bed. He thumps to the ground in a meaty, resonant way that makes her think he landed smack on his chest. She hurries to the end of the mattress, a hand on her face -- yeah, there'll be a hella nice black eye there in another half hour.

"MT? Mituna, honey--"

He contorts on the floor like a cut worm so he can look up at her, and she can feel her bulge retract. He's about to cry, eyes overbright.

"I'm so sorry, I'm a bulge, not even a bulge, bulges are cool as fuckhell, shit, shit--"

If she lets him keep yelling at himself he will be calling himself names and then he'll be depressed for days, and then she won't get laid. She doesn't even think before she rolls over the edge and lands on him.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

*eyes fic*

... Eh, I've written pornier.

I'm sure. Somewhere.

novidactyl asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair♥) 2.Flush 3.Pornstar AU w/ smuppets for Bro's website (humanstuck or normal species are both fantastic)

"And really, in the digital age, with shit like tumblr and reddit around, what's going to touch the most people, boring long-ass sermons, or streaming free porn clips that fuck with hemocastist expectations and contain gleeful and unapologetic quadrant-smearing?"

On the other side of his bed, unzipping his pants, Signless laughed quietly. "Bro, I've already agreed to film this movie with you."

Bro shrugged, nodded, kept ogling. The guy's pants would be hilarious if he didn't fill them so well. Bro was also a fan of the zipper being placed on the side, from under the arm to the hip; the way it unveiled him as the cloth fell away was especially interesting.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
hibernatingsunflower asked: flush Karkat/Terezi God tier pajama kink?

R/NC17? It's not detailed porn, but yeah.


You squeak when she's suddenly under your cape with her arms going around your ribs to inappropriately fondle your pectorals. You'd pretend you didn't, but for once she doesn't laugh at you, so you bite down on your instant denial and just frown in confusion at what you can see of her.

In other words, her hands half-hidden under the toothy front end of your cape.

She's groping at your heaving almost-absence of rumble spheres. Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Chapter contains porn and OCs. Almost 11k of such. orz


The first thing Karkat does when they finally come home is to rush up the ladder and check on his nest, wings flapping along pointlessly. (The new shell is still frail enough that they have to alternate keeping the muscles exercised and making sure no wrong movement cracks him open again, but to return home he refused to be bandaged up.)

Dave's shoulder is still not to be strained, and climbing would be awkward one-handed, so once again he's right back to sleeping on the couch. He's starting to think the universe wants him to cede the space to his demon, but damn it, he is not giving up his futon under the slanting ceiling and the odd light that comes from the window.

"Marshmallows still good?" he calls up to Karkat, even as he flops down on the couch under the mezzanine.

"Uh -- lemme open the bag." A pause. "Yeah, they're still edible, though I was more concerned about rats or those motherfucking crows."

Dave snorts quietly. He can't say he was honestly worried about the marshmallows, those things last years. Okay, at least half a year. He's pretty sure he read things about that before.

The crow vendetta keeps being silly and hilarious.

"We don't have rats!" he calls up.

"Uh huh," Karkat replies, muffled and distracted, as he rummages into a plastic bag. "You keep thinking that."

Aw, man. "We have rats? Seriously? Hell."

"If they're not rats I'm not sure what else. Wall wolverines?"

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
theunvanquishedzims asked: Karkat ♠ Kankri, the first time they were both totally quiet in each other's presence.

Straight up hate porn. Sort-of-public sex, oral, some slurry retention, etc etc.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
complexquanta asked: Davesprite ♥ Jade. Get zapped by random ectobiology machines in the basement of the meteor and species swapped (Davesprite's a dog-man, Jade's a bird sprite). Then they make out.

Contains flustery porn of the nonpenetrative variety, light femdom, Jade POV, 1400 words.


"Well, crap," Jade says, and she whaps Dave with her sprite tail when he sporfles at how mild it came out.

He's sitting on the floor with both hands pressed to his face and she can see his eyes; only not, because they're squeezed shut in either shock or hilarity, or maybe both? Jade herself is still too baffled to really be in shock yet, and...

She vaguely remembers what it was like to be a sprite, in a corner of her mind she doesn't like to think about. It's strange in a very existential way that's pretty much impossible to describe.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
*Could we have more of the arranged marriage ficlet? Pretty please?

*Oh goodness is it too late to ask for a wedding night continuation? Are these prompts still a thing??

*DaveKat: First time ( could be continuation of other prompt or not) Karkat has mad bedroom skills and Dave tries to keep his cool.

* Arranged Marriage Ficlet! Tomorrow! Deverginizing Dave

:3 maaaaybe.

ok guys here comes the random davekat porn. *pets old prompts* sequel to this!

(haha i kid half of it is leading-up to said porn and worldbuilding. haha ha .. ha. aaaaaaa.)

5k long. Contains joyous loss of virginity, some armor kink, oral and intercrural sex, two dorks. Also the most random, wtf cameo ever but it cracked me up okay. :(


"And this," Karkat mused in the direction of his husband, "is why I bothered with the gauntlets today."

The stall's half-door rattled under a heavy kick. Dave glowered at Karkat from his place, back against the wall. Karkat glanced down at his hand. No blood. Good. He could keep being an asshole without remorse.

He picked up the bacon roll Dave had dropped, reached out an armored hand, palm up, His mount snorted against his fingers, and snapped his fangs closed around the meat.

"How come he didn't even try it with you," Dave muttered as he peered cautiously over Karkat's shoulder. Karkat tried not to pay any mind to the tense-wary-interested tingles making their way down his neck.

"You have no idea how many time he tried to bite my armor before he figured out it didn't work." A thoughtful pause, as he remembered dented metal with painful clarity. "Much." He flicked Dave a side-glance. "Still want to go riding?"

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
For cyphercat/Laylah's birthday! Sequel to Uniform Kink, a Karkat/Equius D/s pesterlog.

This fic contains Dom/sub dynamics, consensual verbal humiliation kink, boot/foot worship, xeno, and self-penetration, and is most def. not safe for work. 6500 words.

It hasn't been betaread yet, so please forgive any mistakes you may find (but if you feel like telling me where to find 'em so I can fix 'em, that'd also be awesome.)


The first thing Karkat thinks after the body has rolled off the edge of the dinner table and landed with a jarring thud on his boots is oh well, Equius will be happy; the second is Wonder if I should let him, don't know where this asshole has been.
Breaking to Saddle )

And a coda/epilogue, because I could.

Coda )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
Half of the fic is humor and fluff and snarky dialogue (the snarky dialogue continues into the porn, tbh) ( SPACE!! not that this is very plot-relevant. XD) The pairings are a big clusterfuck of overlapping two- and threesomes between Jade, Dave, Karkat, John and Terezi.

(the quadrant grid looks something like. uh. (johnjade)karkat, terezi♥/♠karkat♥/♠dave, (johnterezi)karkat, karkatjadedave etcetera etcetera. It's ridiculous.)

I love this 'verse. Might do more with it at a later date, idk. This fic is really just me catering to my poly needs in the most fun gratuitious way I could.

Also contains double penetration and recuperacoon sex. (that's basically a vat of goo that trolls sleep in, for those not up to date on homestuck lingo. XD)

I would advise you to get your grubby claws off the gravity controls before I get to you, Mister Blueberry Surprise! )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
This chapter contains sex. Also some ponderings about dub/noncon.


At least Karkat has gone back to resting his chin on Dave's knee, in the week between their blow-up and Kankri's summoning. At least there's that.

There's a strange cautiousness to it now, though. Karkat will come sprawl on the couch against him, and nap on the futon, but there's -- he keeps watching Dave.

Dave tries not to notice. He often fails.

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
This chapter contains sex. Also some ponderings about dub/noncon.


At least Karkat has gone back to resting his chin on Dave's knee, in the week between their blow-up and Kankri's summoning. At least there's that.

There's a strange cautiousness to it now, though. Karkat will come sprawl on the couch against him, and nap on the futon, but there's -- he keeps watching Dave.

Dave tries not to notice. He often fails.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
(not that this is the only chapter that contains porn, just that it's the only chapter that contains nothing but. reminder that this is xeno.)

Dave is in the process of cleaning after lunch (read: putting takeout boxes inside each other in order of size, with dirty paper napkins stuffed in the cracks) when his phone rings.

"Don't quit police work for journalism," is the first thing his brother tells him.

"Wow, I love you too, Dirkiepoo. My article on the buying habits of demons in grocery stores was a success and everyone knows it."

Karkat looks up at hearing the word; Dave shrugs at him. His demon is elbow-blade-deep in a marshmallow bag. It's already half empty. On second thought perhaps Dave shouldn't have let him choose the one he wanted.

"We got complaints from the vendor, you scared his other customers off."

"Pff, he'll sing another tune when everyone wants to buy shit from his store because it was once patroned by the illustrious Karkat Vantas. Also I asked him if it was okay before coming in and he said yes, so hey, it's all on him."

"You said 'service animal', you asshole," Karkat says, loud enough for the phone to pick up. Dirk scoffs. "You said, 'hello, Detective Strider, do you mind if I come in with my service animal, don't want to leave him in the street.' I should have chosen a bigger bag."

"There was no bigger, Jesus, Karkat, you could stuff your head in that and still have room for a shoulder. Anyway, Dirk, what do you want, answer is no, I'm on leave. Captain said so, you can't make me."

Read more... )


askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)

October 2017




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