![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
- char: hs: bro strider,
- char: hs: dad egbert,
- char: hs: dave strider,
- char: hs: davesprite,
- char: hs: eridan ampora,
- char: hs: john egbert,
- char: hs: karkat vantas,
- char: hs: mom lalonde,
- char: hs: roxy lalonde,
- fandom: gw,
- fandom: homestuck,
- pairing: dave/karkat,
- pairing: heero/duo/relena,
- pairing: jade/john/karkat,
- pairing: karkat/roxy,
- shiny: crossover
Three Sentences AU Meme ficlets
Mostly homestuck, a trolls!GW AU, and a Dave/Karkat Pacific Rim/Jaeger Pilots AU that's like six times three sentences plus a seventh for the road. .__.
callunavulgari asked: Long shot here because I know you aren't really in the KH fandom, but could I get Axel/Roxas as trolls? If not... Dave/Karkat, jaeger pilot AU. :D
((Yeah no, the last time i wrote KH was like six or eight years ago.))
--
Karkat and Kankri are the least compatible pair of clonesibs that has ever been presented to a Shatterdome, and besides Kankri doesn't want to fight, he wants to go into PR (he wants to "open dialogue with that fascinating -- if misguided, of course!" BuenaKai rot-stinking Kaiju cult.)
Karkat stays anyway because he's had the training, damn it, and maybe a miracle will happen and maybe they've sent him to this Shatterdome at the ass-end of nowhere for reasons other than "we wanted you as far away from the last place where you burned all your bridges as possible."
After the massive brawl in the cafeteria is contained they tell him in cold, disappointed tones that the guy whose nose he broke for being an intolerable shitwaffle (which started the whole thing) was the same guy who they summoned him here for, for the way their scores match so strangely well on paper.
--
He doesn't want the asshole in his head (he doesn't want anyone in his head but bro) but life has never cared what he wants and besides there's something he needs, there's Tempest Grim out here at sea about to become kaiju chow (there are more who he can't think about who are already kaiju chow.)
He will drag him kicking and screaming from his sulky little grump-hole in the dorms, shove him into a drivesuit head first, leash him to the conn-pod -- bondage for the win and who cares if he gets kicked out of the program afterwards for the breach of every sacred trust (he has to tell himself he'll be able to go that far, because Rose, because John.)
When he crosses through the Jaeger docks Vantas is waiting for him by Knight Ardent, helmet under his arm, fully suited up, and he bares his teeth and snarls, "What the blood-shitting fuck are you wasting our time traipsing around for when we have kaiju to curbstomp?" and for a brief, incandescent moment Dave loves him so much he could scream.
--
(swirl around trust the mech it can take it yes were behind it STAB cauterize EAT WHITE HOT METAL YOU MISBEGOTTEN FREAK OF UNNATURAL BULLSHITTERY haha yes yeeesss pull it out straight dont want unnatural toxic bullshittery everywhere yesss now whirl away HOW CAN SO MANY TONS OF METAL DODGE SO SMOOTHLY THIS IS GORGEOUS a lot of hula hoop in my formative years YOU KNOW I CAN SEE YOUR MEMORIES RIGHT YOU AREN'T EVEN BULLSHITTING OH MY GOD.)
(shit shit shit its coming STAND OUR GROUND that thing is like an avalanche we are like a smaller avalanche STAND OUR MOTHERFUCKING GROUND AND PUNCH IT NOW oh fuck this is pancake season we must have done three whole flips is this my stomach or yours MINE I THINK BUT WE REAMED ITS UGLY MUZZLE IN UNTIL IT CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE I CALL IT A PRICE WELL PAID we totally did hahaha yes good jaeger best right hook KNIGHT IS BEST KNIGHT BAR NONE YES AGREED now time to get back up woohoo wanna barf DO NOT BECAUSE I WILL TOO is it dead/IS IT DEAD it is OH MY GOD IT IS WE RULE SO FUCKING MUCH HAHAHA hahaha yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss.)
(this is gorgeousperfect everything i have ever dreamed it would be (i am terrified))
--
Their sync ratio starts crashing after they've pulled Tempest Grim up for the helicos to clamp on and fly back to shore. Karkat wants to ignore it and keep walking, and Dave doesn't because he knows it'll remind him of bro trying to keep walking that strut impaling him burning right through Dave's chest it hurts it hurts it burns Father they're burning him, father no please he's not even your real dad anyway he's just another clone just a little older just try to get along with Kankri aren't they basically the same anyways.
Knight Ardent faceplants in the sea and Vantas disengages with a scream of pure rage, and Dave unhooks himself and goes to sit in a corner, music on and back turned to where (Karkat) Vantas (Line: Cancer, they went out of business as unethical not two years after Karkat was decanted anyways, no matter how starved for jaeger pilots the world is clones never worked any better in practice but this is what he was made for this is who he could be) is pacing and kicking at things like that can get Dave out of his head, or him outside of Dave.
--
Fact: he knew he would have to show a stranger all his mundane horrors and private wonderments some day.
Fact: Dave Strider irritates the piss out of him and the computers must have been virused up to the moon the day they paired them up.
Fact: it's been a week and he still dreams of a too-old half-brother he never had who was borderline abusive in how maladapted he was to child-rearing and never could show love outside of a fucking cockpit and he still he sees himself standing in his battle armor ready to charge and save his (not his) friends and he wants to cry with how much he wants someone to feel so violently about him again.
--
The pons helmet hits Dave in the chest and he grabs it out of pure reflex before it can fall to the ground. Karkat is standing there, eyes narrow with leashed fire and chin down like he's about to headbutt Dave in the face (which he would, Dave can still read his body with distressing fluency.)
Another helmet hangs from his hand, and he doesn't wait for Dave before yanking it on, like a gauntlet for Dave to pick up if he's not too scared (like a hand for Dave to take, and he knows it will be just as shaky and damp with fear as his own.)
--
They rock and sway together, wordless, pressed against the wall of Knight Ardent's dock (one of them is pressed there it might be karkat it might be dave neither one knows.) Their hips are fitted together and their thighs strain and caress each other in turn and their arms are locked and won't let go and they've triggered each other into an orgasm twice and no matter how nice it feels it won't be happening a third time do you think we're still teenagers dude seriously now spirit willing flesh kinda bruised.
In a little while they will disengage and walk down to dinner their hands trailing across each other's back (touch my ass in public and i'll kick you) (i'll like it anyways) their shoulders braced against each other and they will be dave and karkat again but for now they breathe in unison helmet to helmet and they think about the first kiss they will share when the bridge goes down.
caligulasvvioletprince asked: Eridan & Karkat, Karkat's the long suffering emperor dealing with military advisor Eridan?
"All your shitpanned suggestions come down to 'kill them all', Eridan, I don't know how you can even talk yourself again and afuckinggain into imagining you have enough guile and I have enough holes in my sponge to make me think they don't."
"Why do you even keep me as your advisor, if you won't do any of the things your most esteemed advisor fuckin' advises you ta do?"
Karkat had a lot of answers for this one, first one being 'so you don't advise anyone stupider than I am into going through with it, or Crabdad forgive do it yourself', second one being 'so I know do to the exact opposite of what you suggest if I want to keep a modicum of morality' and only rolling downhill from there, but in the end he only sighed, patted his wigglerhood friend's cheek briskly, and said "Because every hardworking emperor needs eyecandy."
Anonymous asked: Duo (and hopefully Heero). AU: pilots as trolls (because I am helpless against crossovers), with Duo using his Chuckle Voodoos in a morally ambiguous way/awkward attempt at black flirting.
"I'll give you a tip," the greenblood says and then his fist crashes in Dyuuwo's nose; "it doesn't work on me."
From the ground the other boy checks his facepaint -- ruined -- and starts to laugh. "Wow, how can you be so perfect? This has got to be serendipity."
The pinkest sea-troll Dyuuwo's ever seen in his life leans over his battered form and smiles down, soft silk and distant dawn. There's an emerald in Heerro's shade glinting on her pale finger. "Truly? I thought the exact same thing." Her smile falls off her face, replaced with the clean, businesslike cool of a blade. "I would be very cross if you yanked me into ashen instead."
Anonymous asked: Jade/John/Karkat, mermaids and sailors au
It took him three days before the relentless sun convinced him to take the risk of them merrily swimming off with his boat.
Of course the second he was in the shade of the rowboat, in deliciously cool water, the green one took a glittery, hair-drenching leap into it, incidentally providing Karkat with a lot of coppery-brown bouncing boobage.
The blue one didn't stop whistling and clicking about being the one stuck towing the boat this is so unfair damn it until Karkat kicked him aboard with his oh-so-fascinating feet (so glad green girl was having too much fun bouncing in the boat to dive back in and come a-tickling) and took his first turn at the rope since the wreck.
Anonymous asked: Roxy x Karkat, Empress Lalondes AU
"No, I don't think you do get it, you shit-brained excuse for a reigning monarch, I've been killing myself trying to explain to you that I'm a mere novelty slave who you should have fucked once, I am lower than the helots and much lower than the pantheon-damned concubines, the only reason I'm not lower than the trash out in the gutter is that you in your might and benevolence have seen fit to trace my ass cheeks with your imperial hand, so why do you still persist to think I would be fit to be your advisor?!"
"Dude, if you advise me from my lap as I feed you grapes in a totes salacious way, will you stop bitching?"
"… Yeah, okay."
Anonymous asked: john and davesprite, steam punk
"'Sup," said the abomination with his best friend's face in the giant bird cage.
It took John all of two seconds to decide to walk up to it and ask, "If I let you out, will you attack me and pull out my guts for a snack?"
"Naw," not-Dave replied, all his attention forced onto buffing his talons, "I'm half a crow, all told we're more into carrion."
--
"When I asked for a self-propelling device to make my daring escape with -- oh my fuck -- on account of the wings -- okay they're seriously impressive but also ridiculously undersized if they want to actually lift something my size, seriously what genius idea was that -- I meant wheels?"
John leaned in over the back of the chair, feet firmly planted on the copper bar linking the back feet, and yelled in the creature's ear against the wind; "Yeah but would you prefer them to rockets?"
"…Nope," the crow boy said after a breathless instant, and tilted his wings into the wind to aim them away from the cathedral's rapidly growing towers.
Anonymous asked: Mom and Dad (& Bro?) in a zombie!AU
"Hand me the other rifle, darling," she says, voice as always lovely, calm and playfully singsongy; his eyes crinkle in a smile that doesn't quite make it to his mouth.
"Here you are, dearest, loaded and ready."
He watches her decimate the horde massing in their narrow street, attracted by the gunfire, and admires how charming and deadly she looks in the soft light of the fire that's gaining ground around the block.
Anonymous asked: Dadbert and Bro, harem AU.
They point him to the First Concubine when he walks in, as is proper, but surreptitiously, warily so. The First is this lean, golden man -- skin, hair, even his eyes are oddly pale a brown -- who fathered Empress Roxy's heir and her guard-twin, and even though Dirk will never be granted the title of Husband they warn him to be wary, for his influence roots deep.
Paul -- First Husband now, and Witch of Life willing soon to be Father of the Imperial Spare -- didn't come to take part in internal, petty politics, but for the greater good of both the countries they serve, and so he walks right up to him and shares some of his good tobacco.
Anonymous asked: Karkat & Dave Office AU
"What the fuck am I even doing holding down such a soul-destroying office drone job and letting my dreams float away in the wind of bitterness and pizza-born flatulence, is what I'm asking you, I've always been the soul of self-shame and deathly regret but this is curdlingly ridiculous and only becomes more so with every other year filled to the brim with 'oh, maybe next fucking year, or the one after that'--"
"I'll quit if you will," Dave replied idly, all his attention onto the pencil he walked across his fingers, and Karkat went quiet.
"I totally meant it," Dave added a little eternity of staring into each other's eyes in a dumbfounded, revelatory fashion later, "and you know what, as proof of my good faith and solidarity and the fact that you totally owe it to me to let me become your roommate, let's go right now."
callunavulgari asked: Long shot here because I know you aren't really in the KH fandom, but could I get Axel/Roxas as trolls? If not... Dave/Karkat, jaeger pilot AU. :D
((Yeah no, the last time i wrote KH was like six or eight years ago.))
--
Karkat and Kankri are the least compatible pair of clonesibs that has ever been presented to a Shatterdome, and besides Kankri doesn't want to fight, he wants to go into PR (he wants to "open dialogue with that fascinating -- if misguided, of course!" BuenaKai rot-stinking Kaiju cult.)
Karkat stays anyway because he's had the training, damn it, and maybe a miracle will happen and maybe they've sent him to this Shatterdome at the ass-end of nowhere for reasons other than "we wanted you as far away from the last place where you burned all your bridges as possible."
After the massive brawl in the cafeteria is contained they tell him in cold, disappointed tones that the guy whose nose he broke for being an intolerable shitwaffle (which started the whole thing) was the same guy who they summoned him here for, for the way their scores match so strangely well on paper.
--
He doesn't want the asshole in his head (he doesn't want anyone in his head but bro) but life has never cared what he wants and besides there's something he needs, there's Tempest Grim out here at sea about to become kaiju chow (there are more who he can't think about who are already kaiju chow.)
He will drag him kicking and screaming from his sulky little grump-hole in the dorms, shove him into a drivesuit head first, leash him to the conn-pod -- bondage for the win and who cares if he gets kicked out of the program afterwards for the breach of every sacred trust (he has to tell himself he'll be able to go that far, because Rose, because John.)
When he crosses through the Jaeger docks Vantas is waiting for him by Knight Ardent, helmet under his arm, fully suited up, and he bares his teeth and snarls, "What the blood-shitting fuck are you wasting our time traipsing around for when we have kaiju to curbstomp?" and for a brief, incandescent moment Dave loves him so much he could scream.
--
(swirl around trust the mech it can take it yes were behind it STAB cauterize EAT WHITE HOT METAL YOU MISBEGOTTEN FREAK OF UNNATURAL BULLSHITTERY haha yes yeeesss pull it out straight dont want unnatural toxic bullshittery everywhere yesss now whirl away HOW CAN SO MANY TONS OF METAL DODGE SO SMOOTHLY THIS IS GORGEOUS a lot of hula hoop in my formative years YOU KNOW I CAN SEE YOUR MEMORIES RIGHT YOU AREN'T EVEN BULLSHITTING OH MY GOD.)
(shit shit shit its coming STAND OUR GROUND that thing is like an avalanche we are like a smaller avalanche STAND OUR MOTHERFUCKING GROUND AND PUNCH IT NOW oh fuck this is pancake season we must have done three whole flips is this my stomach or yours MINE I THINK BUT WE REAMED ITS UGLY MUZZLE IN UNTIL IT CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE I CALL IT A PRICE WELL PAID we totally did hahaha yes good jaeger best right hook KNIGHT IS BEST KNIGHT BAR NONE YES AGREED now time to get back up woohoo wanna barf DO NOT BECAUSE I WILL TOO is it dead/IS IT DEAD it is OH MY GOD IT IS WE RULE SO FUCKING MUCH HAHAHA hahaha yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss.)
(this is gorgeousperfect everything i have ever dreamed it would be (i am terrified))
--
Their sync ratio starts crashing after they've pulled Tempest Grim up for the helicos to clamp on and fly back to shore. Karkat wants to ignore it and keep walking, and Dave doesn't because he knows it'll remind him of bro trying to keep walking that strut impaling him burning right through Dave's chest it hurts it hurts it burns Father they're burning him, father no please he's not even your real dad anyway he's just another clone just a little older just try to get along with Kankri aren't they basically the same anyways.
Knight Ardent faceplants in the sea and Vantas disengages with a scream of pure rage, and Dave unhooks himself and goes to sit in a corner, music on and back turned to where (Karkat) Vantas (Line: Cancer, they went out of business as unethical not two years after Karkat was decanted anyways, no matter how starved for jaeger pilots the world is clones never worked any better in practice but this is what he was made for this is who he could be) is pacing and kicking at things like that can get Dave out of his head, or him outside of Dave.
--
Fact: he knew he would have to show a stranger all his mundane horrors and private wonderments some day.
Fact: Dave Strider irritates the piss out of him and the computers must have been virused up to the moon the day they paired them up.
Fact: it's been a week and he still dreams of a too-old half-brother he never had who was borderline abusive in how maladapted he was to child-rearing and never could show love outside of a fucking cockpit and he still he sees himself standing in his battle armor ready to charge and save his (not his) friends and he wants to cry with how much he wants someone to feel so violently about him again.
--
The pons helmet hits Dave in the chest and he grabs it out of pure reflex before it can fall to the ground. Karkat is standing there, eyes narrow with leashed fire and chin down like he's about to headbutt Dave in the face (which he would, Dave can still read his body with distressing fluency.)
Another helmet hangs from his hand, and he doesn't wait for Dave before yanking it on, like a gauntlet for Dave to pick up if he's not too scared (like a hand for Dave to take, and he knows it will be just as shaky and damp with fear as his own.)
--
They rock and sway together, wordless, pressed against the wall of Knight Ardent's dock (one of them is pressed there it might be karkat it might be dave neither one knows.) Their hips are fitted together and their thighs strain and caress each other in turn and their arms are locked and won't let go and they've triggered each other into an orgasm twice and no matter how nice it feels it won't be happening a third time do you think we're still teenagers dude seriously now spirit willing flesh kinda bruised.
In a little while they will disengage and walk down to dinner their hands trailing across each other's back (touch my ass in public and i'll kick you) (i'll like it anyways) their shoulders braced against each other and they will be dave and karkat again but for now they breathe in unison helmet to helmet and they think about the first kiss they will share when the bridge goes down.
caligulasvvioletprince asked: Eridan & Karkat, Karkat's the long suffering emperor dealing with military advisor Eridan?
"All your shitpanned suggestions come down to 'kill them all', Eridan, I don't know how you can even talk yourself again and afuckinggain into imagining you have enough guile and I have enough holes in my sponge to make me think they don't."
"Why do you even keep me as your advisor, if you won't do any of the things your most esteemed advisor fuckin' advises you ta do?"
Karkat had a lot of answers for this one, first one being 'so you don't advise anyone stupider than I am into going through with it, or Crabdad forgive do it yourself', second one being 'so I know do to the exact opposite of what you suggest if I want to keep a modicum of morality' and only rolling downhill from there, but in the end he only sighed, patted his wigglerhood friend's cheek briskly, and said "Because every hardworking emperor needs eyecandy."
Anonymous asked: Duo (and hopefully Heero). AU: pilots as trolls (because I am helpless against crossovers), with Duo using his Chuckle Voodoos in a morally ambiguous way/awkward attempt at black flirting.
"I'll give you a tip," the greenblood says and then his fist crashes in Dyuuwo's nose; "it doesn't work on me."
From the ground the other boy checks his facepaint -- ruined -- and starts to laugh. "Wow, how can you be so perfect? This has got to be serendipity."
The pinkest sea-troll Dyuuwo's ever seen in his life leans over his battered form and smiles down, soft silk and distant dawn. There's an emerald in Heerro's shade glinting on her pale finger. "Truly? I thought the exact same thing." Her smile falls off her face, replaced with the clean, businesslike cool of a blade. "I would be very cross if you yanked me into ashen instead."
Anonymous asked: Jade/John/Karkat, mermaids and sailors au
It took him three days before the relentless sun convinced him to take the risk of them merrily swimming off with his boat.
Of course the second he was in the shade of the rowboat, in deliciously cool water, the green one took a glittery, hair-drenching leap into it, incidentally providing Karkat with a lot of coppery-brown bouncing boobage.
The blue one didn't stop whistling and clicking about being the one stuck towing the boat this is so unfair damn it until Karkat kicked him aboard with his oh-so-fascinating feet (so glad green girl was having too much fun bouncing in the boat to dive back in and come a-tickling) and took his first turn at the rope since the wreck.
Anonymous asked: Roxy x Karkat, Empress Lalondes AU
"No, I don't think you do get it, you shit-brained excuse for a reigning monarch, I've been killing myself trying to explain to you that I'm a mere novelty slave who you should have fucked once, I am lower than the helots and much lower than the pantheon-damned concubines, the only reason I'm not lower than the trash out in the gutter is that you in your might and benevolence have seen fit to trace my ass cheeks with your imperial hand, so why do you still persist to think I would be fit to be your advisor?!"
"Dude, if you advise me from my lap as I feed you grapes in a totes salacious way, will you stop bitching?"
"… Yeah, okay."
Anonymous asked: john and davesprite, steam punk
"'Sup," said the abomination with his best friend's face in the giant bird cage.
It took John all of two seconds to decide to walk up to it and ask, "If I let you out, will you attack me and pull out my guts for a snack?"
"Naw," not-Dave replied, all his attention forced onto buffing his talons, "I'm half a crow, all told we're more into carrion."
--
"When I asked for a self-propelling device to make my daring escape with -- oh my fuck -- on account of the wings -- okay they're seriously impressive but also ridiculously undersized if they want to actually lift something my size, seriously what genius idea was that -- I meant wheels?"
John leaned in over the back of the chair, feet firmly planted on the copper bar linking the back feet, and yelled in the creature's ear against the wind; "Yeah but would you prefer them to rockets?"
"…Nope," the crow boy said after a breathless instant, and tilted his wings into the wind to aim them away from the cathedral's rapidly growing towers.
Anonymous asked: Mom and Dad (& Bro?) in a zombie!AU
"Hand me the other rifle, darling," she says, voice as always lovely, calm and playfully singsongy; his eyes crinkle in a smile that doesn't quite make it to his mouth.
"Here you are, dearest, loaded and ready."
He watches her decimate the horde massing in their narrow street, attracted by the gunfire, and admires how charming and deadly she looks in the soft light of the fire that's gaining ground around the block.
Anonymous asked: Dadbert and Bro, harem AU.
They point him to the First Concubine when he walks in, as is proper, but surreptitiously, warily so. The First is this lean, golden man -- skin, hair, even his eyes are oddly pale a brown -- who fathered Empress Roxy's heir and her guard-twin, and even though Dirk will never be granted the title of Husband they warn him to be wary, for his influence roots deep.
Paul -- First Husband now, and Witch of Life willing soon to be Father of the Imperial Spare -- didn't come to take part in internal, petty politics, but for the greater good of both the countries they serve, and so he walks right up to him and shares some of his good tobacco.
Anonymous asked: Karkat & Dave Office AU
"What the fuck am I even doing holding down such a soul-destroying office drone job and letting my dreams float away in the wind of bitterness and pizza-born flatulence, is what I'm asking you, I've always been the soul of self-shame and deathly regret but this is curdlingly ridiculous and only becomes more so with every other year filled to the brim with 'oh, maybe next fucking year, or the one after that'--"
"I'll quit if you will," Dave replied idly, all his attention onto the pencil he walked across his fingers, and Karkat went quiet.
"I totally meant it," Dave added a little eternity of staring into each other's eyes in a dumbfounded, revelatory fashion later, "and you know what, as proof of my good faith and solidarity and the fact that you totally owe it to me to let me become your roommate, let's go right now."
no subject
no subject
... dave and bro would totally hardcore hula-hoop. :( ITS GOOD FOR YOUR BACK MUSCLES AND GENERAL LIMBERNESS DAVE, NOW ROLL THOSE HIPS INTO IT.
no subject
no subject