Life and Times of Teh Asuka

princessofblood asked: Jadekat AU for your crash standing verse?

(crash standing is all about making davesprite happy! such a cruel prompt XD)

900 words of pesterlog.

( Read more... )

Half of the fic is humor and fluff and snarky dialogue (the snarky dialogue continues into the porn, tbh) (...in SPACE!! not that this is very plot-relevant. XD) The pairings are a big clusterfuck of overlapping two- and threesomes between Jade, Dave, Karkat, John and Terezi.

(the quadrant grid looks something like. uh. (john♦jade)♥karkat, terezi♥/♠karkat♥/♠dave, (john♠terezi)♣karkat, karkat♥jade♥dave etcetera etcetera. It's ridiculous.)

I love this 'verse. Might do more with it at a later date, idk. This fic is really just me catering to my poly needs in the most fun gratuitious way I could.

Also contains double penetration and recuperacoon sex. (that's basically a vat of goo that trolls sleep in, for those not up to date on homestuck lingo. XD)

( I would advise you to get your grubby claws off the gravity controls before I get to you, Mister Blueberry Surprise! )

Color and animation by ashdenej on a sketch done by Andrew Hussie (yes really XD)

And then Jesse reblogged mentioning he wanted to see that AU.

I would never have seen this glorious thing without him, so. I was like okay that should be a simple little drabble and the pic is hilarious and it’s really fun spending three hours hashing out who's who for background that'll never even show up in the story anyway.

Seven thousand words later...! :X

Oneshot, complete, Dave?Karkat?John, woo quadrant confusion.

--

Karkat blamed it all on Missus Jane.

He had a lot of time to review it in his mind, and while most of his attention was taken up by rage and mortal terror the rest of his brain could still follow a chain of causality to the source, thank you very much. The logic was flawless.

Jane English worked at the bakery. Jane made amazing bread, amazing cakes, and amazing food in general. So amazing that the nearby saloon had given up trying to compete, and gone into business with the bakery -- which resulted in the saloon owner's younger son, David Burt Strider, doing deliveries.

To, among other places, Karkat's ranch. (Well, Missus Peixes' ranch, at which he worked. But.)

"Faster, damn you, faster, we'll lose him in the canyons!"

So Karkat could already blame meeting that lusus-haired, stone-faced varmint in the first place on Missus Jane. And meeting him ... again, and again, and again, for the daily deliveries, because somehow it had become his job to receive them and his coworkers refused to let him foist it off on them, not even if he offered to trade for stable mucking seriously what in tarnation.

Hell. On. Earth.

"Faster, huh? Got me an idea that'll help with that. Jump off and run!"

"Fuck you sideways with a rusty spur."

"Not on my poor innocent horse, Vantas, for shame."

Jane English, née Crocker, was also the young and lovely wife of one Jake English, grandson of sheriff English. That only mattered insofar as linking him to the existence of Jade Harley, Sheriff English's other grandchild. (Small-town bingo; every single human was somehow linked to someone else in some strange nonsensical way. Karkat couldn't blame Jane for Jade. Jade was okay, and not only because she'd put some steel in Tavros' spine by some arcane means none of the trolls understood but which made them all quite envious of the results of having a human for a palemate.)

(Then again, for a human, Jade Harley made a pretty good troll.)

(End digression.)

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit not over the trunk Strider do not go over the trunk I will fall I will take you with me --"

Jane English, née Crocker, also happened to be related somehow by ways Karkat did not give half a fuck about to a preacher man in want of a parish.

Who had a son.

Who had a son who had by ways of Jade Harley gotten introduced to Dave Strider, who had then decided to introduce him to Karkat.

Well, actually, "don't flatter yourself, nubbly, any troll would do. Can you believe in those so-called Civilized Territories they don't really believe you good fellows exist."( Read more... )

Sequel to that thing I posted yesterday with Hakuba Saguru and Hattori Heiji. This is the lunch meeting between Heiji and Kazuha. 400 words.

( Kazuha pokes at the box with her index finger, flipping it on another face, and then pries it open the way Gojita-san from the bomb squad handles booby-trapped packages. )

1 400 words.

This is a prequel of sorts to Once Removed, the SephZackCloudAeris thing in the snow.

Sephiroth and Zack in Wutai, negotiating relationships.

( Most of the jokes his Firsts made that came linked to Zack's origins were about his sexual proclivities. )

For the polyship Advent prompts: prompt 8, Ice and Snow.

Sephiroth POV, divergent timeline. SephZackCloudAeris polyamorous tangle.

Is it a mission disguised as a vacation? Or a vacation disguised as a mission? When Rufus is involved, who knows. At Icicle Inn, Sephiroth gets in some bonding time with his Significant Other, and his Significant Other's own Significant Others. (now say that three times fast.)

Fic's a little messy IMHO because of course I started with "i'll just write a quick 500 words ficlet at Icicle Inn" and ended up with tons of background and scenebits and god knows what that I had to somehow stuff in one scene or else I wouldn't be done before december next year, BUT. I still like it.

( Once Removed )

NOTES:

-This interlude was written a long while ago. Now I'm kind of unsure about whether its mood still works with the previous chapter. I might have to edit the previous chapter's ending, if that's the case, but I'm not sure.

-But I'm not going to change this interlude (much) because ... Every single time I write Ino, I have a BLAST. X33333 Surprisingly, she also made writing Gaara and Shikamaru fun. I mean, seriously, *Gaara*. Ino is magic.

-I'm calling it an interlude because it's an outsider POV, but really it's both chapter-sized and quite necessary for the plot.

-This is full of schmoopiness. Whoa. XD I was so tired of the angst, guys, you have no idea.

Previous scene


Beach Party
(Ino)

( The hospital was letting them go. It was a happy occasion. Yet when Ino saw them walk into the hospital lobby the gloom almost choked her. )

meltmallow asked, so here's the first bit.

The fic still has no title. >_>;;; AHA! Continuing with my trend of using materia names, this fic is now "Enemy Skill". (nothing else really fit. sadness.) To push the cuteness even farther, every chapter will be named after one enemy skill. (... my first reaction was OH SHIT I CAN ONLY HAVE 24 CHAPTERS. Oh, self. Thankfully, charcoalcat suggested "If you run out of chapter names and still have story to go, you could always snag the attack names of some of the summons. It would be cheating, yes, but it is technically the use of someone elses skills..." Good idea. XD)

SETTINGS: FF7 world, but instead of sealing Jenova inside her, the Cetran woman melded them at the genetic level (what this accomplishes will be explained later.) 2000 years later...

CONTAINS: eventual Sephiroth/Zack/Cloud, psychic bonding, slavery of sorts.
(of course me being who I am there might be strange bisexual polyamorous shenanigans at some point, because a pack ought to be bigger than three people and somehow! not everyone in that universe is male. I have no idea, but I can't rule it out either. It's just... pack boooond. ngh. *_*)

I admit this fic was inspired by Vathara's Ruby. Hopefully I managed to do my own thing with it... XD But if you like the theme, you should read hers, because prrrrt.

First draft, you know the drill, if anything is really unclear or the action is weird or I misused a word or anything like that, feel free to mention it, I'll fix it. But if you don't feel like keeping track of that shit, it's fine too. ♥

( Death Sentence )

Belongs in the Restore ficverse, but it can be read independently, all you need to know is 1) it's post-AC by a couple of years and 2) Aeris, Zack and Sephiroth decided they didn't like hanging out in the Lifestream anymore.

( Cloudette and the Yellow Orb, or Why Shopping With Aeris Is A Bad, Bad Idea. (working title, help me out here. D:) AKA Asuka Is A One-Trick Pony, Bis Repetitae. )