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Two sequel ficlets for Testing the Springs
... That John/Jade/Karkat/Terezi/Dave post-game ot5 recuperacoon porn thing.
--
Sollux Finds Out
--
-- twinArmageddons [TA] pestered carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
TA: hey kk, what'2 up iin your planetoiid of dork2 and de2perate hornball2
CG: SOLLUX? WOW, BEEN AGES SINCE I HEARD FROM YOU. ARE YOU GUYS FINALLY BACK IN CIVILIZED SPACE?
CG: HOW IS ARADIA?
TA: ... you know her, 2he'2 alway2 fiine.
TA: and ii a2ked fiir2t, nook2uck, what'2 up wiith the fiive of you, are you 2tiill flaiiliing around liike tool2 becau2e drunken makeout2 between friiend2 oh noe2?
TA: aa thought iit wa2 even odd2 that you'd all iimplode from embarra22ment and ab2cond the fuck out of there or that you'd fall iinto a depraved quadrant 2meariing orgy. pretty optiimii2tiic huh?
CG: WE'RE WORKING ON IT. (;B
TA: ...
TA: okay, who are you. are you an aliien who burrowed iin kk'2 thiinkpan and now you're u2iing hiim a2 a puppet?
TA: ii'd 2ay you're tz or dv tryiing to rp a2 hiim, but they'd be more conviinciing.
CG: HAR HAR. THIS IS A GOOD JOKE. LOOK AT ALL THE LITTLE ONOMATOPOEIAS I AM TYPING AWAY.
CG: OKAY, NO, I'M EVEN TOO LAZY TO COPYPASTE. NEVER MIND.
TA: alriight, a22hole, now ii'm worriied for real. what'2 goiing on?
CG: PFF. NOTHING THAT NEEDS YOU FRETTING AT IT, NERD PRINCE.
CG: FUCK, LIFE IS GOOD.
CG: ANYWAY, TELL ME ABOUT THE PLACES YOU'VE BEEN. DID YOU GUYS BRING BACK REPORTS FOR JADE AND ROSE? THEY'LL SLAUGHTER YOU IF YOU DIDN'T.
TA: yeah uh aa ha2 them, now 2top tryiing to fuck wiith my miind
TA: we were gone one 2weep, you have not changed THAT much.
CG: YESTERDAY I WOULD HAVE SAID I HADN'T.
TA: let me gue22. you found a human fundrug that work2 on troll2.
CG: HAHA, NO.
CG: GOOD GUESS, THOUGH. I AM SOOO ALTERED RIGHT NOW.
TA: ii'm 2eeiing that, 2weet tapdanciing fuck
CG: ENOUGH TO TELL YOU WITHOUT REGRET THAT I MISSED YOUR DOUCHEY, ODDLY NARROW FACE, AND THAT IF YOU ARE BACK IN COMMUNICATION RANGE YOU CAN'T BE FAR FROM THE HUB, SO IF YOU GUYS AREN'T HERE IN ONE WEEK I'M LETTING TEREZI HUNT YOU DOWN.
TA: iit wa2 the plan but now ii'm not 2ure iit wouldn't be 2afer to ab2cond the other way. kk, what the hell happened ye2terday to fuck you up that bad??
CG: FUCK ME UP THAT GOOD YOU MEAN.
CG: ACTUALLY GET RID OF THE UP.
TA: no way, you actually managed to keep a quadrant long enough to get to a paiil?
CG: UM.
CG: NOT QUITE.
CG: I MEAN
CG: THERE WAS NO PAIL.
CG: NOT THAT IT WAS NOT NEEDED, BUT THE SITUATION QUICKLY EVOLVED TO A POINT WHERE IT COULD NOT BE DEPLOYED.
TA: too much iinformatiion holy biilgegargliing fuck
CG: HAHA. SORRY.
CG: I'M JOSHING, I'M NOT SORRY AT ALL. REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO STRUT AROUND ABOUT TAPPING FEFERI OR ARADIA?
CG: SWEET REVENGE.
TA: ok 2o plea2e wow me wiith your fiinally lo2iing your viirgiiniity at ten 2weep2. whiich one are you tappiing, o grand ma2ter paiil guru.
CG: (((((:B
CG: ALL OF THEM.
CG: OKAY NOT ROSE OR KANAYA, BUT THEY DON'T LIVE WITH US SO THEY DON'T COUNT.
CG: AND AS OF YESTERDAY, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. HOLY GL'BGOLYB ON A TRICYCLE, IT WAS GORGEOUS. TEREZI AND JADE MADE OUT LIKE CRAZY. UNF.
CG: THIS IS THE CRY OF MY PEOPLE.
TA: ok ii've got the legii2lacerator2' 2treet drug regii2try open, tell me the name and batch
TA: ii thiink you need to get a refund, you got a bad one.
CG: YOU SOUND LIKE YOU THINK I'M MAKING IT UP.
TA: ii 2ound liike ii thiink ii'm gonna room wiith kn when ii vii2iit, you total nympho. wa2 iit an aphrodii2iiac or what??
CG: IT WAS SOPOR.
TA: ...
TA: ...................
CG: NO, SORRY, IT WAS "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT SOPOR," TRADEMARK JADE HARLEY.
CG: I SLEPT FIFTEEN HOURS.
CG: MY WORST DREAM INVOLVED HOPBEASTS TRYING TO CUDDLE UP TO ME AND LOOKING MILDLY SAD WHEN I WOULDN'T.
CG: BUT THEN THEY LEFT TO HOP AROUND WITH THEIR FURRY BRETHREN SO ALL ENDED WELL. UPON REFLECTION I THINK IT WAS TEREZI'S HAIR. I MUST HAVE SHOVED HER OFF MY CHEST IN MY SLEEP. WHOOPS.
CG: ANYWAY SHE SURVIVED, SO WHO CARES.
TA: ... 2opor. are you fuckiing 2eriiou2.
TA: ii thought iit only occurred naturally on alterniia, do you know how many refugee2 would pay through the nook for
TA: 2hiit, do you know what WE paiid to 2natch 2ome on the go?? we even helped 2ome dude friiend2 of aa'2 run iillegal 2opor off an iimperiial cargo that one tiime and the a22hole wa2 2eriiou2ly rolliing iin dough.
TA: jd managed to dupliicate iit? you're 2eriiou2?
CG: YUP.
TA: ... though iif the 2iide effect2 are that bad ii'm not 2ure 2he'll get to 2ell much of iit, welp
CG: THE EFFECTS ARE *NOT* THAT BAD, ASSHOLE.
CG: YESTERDAY ONE OF THE WOMEN I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD DECIDED TO GET CLOSER TO THE OTHER WOMAN I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. EMOTIONALLY *AND* THE BODY PART IN ASSORTED BODY PART WAY. IT WAS GORGEOUS.
CG: JOHN FORGOT HIS HUMAN NEUROSIS ABOUT MAN ON MAN SEX TO LET ME
CG: UH, DO STUFF YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT.
CG: ALSO DAVE WAS HOT AND HATEFULLY PITIABLE AS ALWAYS.
CG: I'M *HAPPY,* DOUCHEWAFFLE.
CG: HAPPY AND WELL-RESTED.
CG: I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT MY BRAIN COULD FUNCTION SO FAST, SO EASILY, *WITHOUT* A JOLT OF TERROR FIRST TO MAKE THE ADRENALINE FLOW.
TA: oh.
CG: I THINK AFTER A WEEK OF NORMAL SLEEP (INSERT RIDICULOUS SMILEY FACE HERE; ARE YOU JEALOUS YET?) I MIGHT TURN DOWN THE GOOFINESS.
CG: IT'S LIKE MY BRAIN IS REMEMBERING THAT IT WAS IN FACT CHRONICALLY DEPRIVED OF SLEEP FOR SWEEPS, SO NOW I'M A LITTLE FOGGY, BUT JADE AND KANAYA TELL ME IT'LL PASS.
CG: AND IN AN ODD WAY I ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER. I'D JUST STOPPED NOTICING I FELT BAD AT SOME POINT?
TA: wow um.
TA: that 2ound2 liike
TA: you are a 2appy a22hole and ii am 2aviing thii2 conver2atiion and never lettiing you liive iit down.
CG: HAHA, WHATEVER.
CG: SO WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GETTING HOME?
TA: 2iix day2, we're 2toppiing at the hub fiir2t to meet wiith the other human2.
TA: ... thiink jd would liike other te2t 2ubject2?
CG: YOU SAY THAT LIKE YOU'D BE ALLOWED TO RUN AWAY. (:B
--
John VS Terezi (kinda want to lengthen it with more pranks in the middle but got no ideas for them. :X)
--
She's been cuddling that new Judgeradicator Joodiy datachip against her chest all day, ever since Jade and Rose came back from their groceries expedition, so it's not too hard to figure out that when she sneaks away after dinner it's to go marathon it. She will be utterly engrossed for several hours. Perfect time for a prank!
He bursts in the rec room with a bag of the most disgusting rotten-purple and snot-green confetti at the ready, and ends up frozen in the middle of the carpet, face to face with Terezi-bitten Dave asscheeks, jutting impudently.
"Oh my god," says John, and Dave shrieks "oh my god!", and Terezi stares at John (kinda) and lets out a triumphant "Bwahaha!" in the purest tradition of Disney villainy.
(Disney is now a trollish franchise. That makes it pretty villainous.)
The way she laughs at his retreat has his ears heat up even worse than the fact that he got an eyeful of his best bro's butt.
--
He cannot get it out of his mind, even as he starts up the cycle again with other pranks, other topics. This time she bested him, and that can't be allowed. He can't figure how to top that, though. She pretty much made him prank himself.
Also, Dave butt. Okay, no. Well, Dave butt is pretty okay when it's doing things to Jade butt or (maybe in theory yes) Karkat butt (might want to sneak a quick, discreet look some day) because he loves watching them fall to pieces but on its own it makes John want to claw out his eyes.
It was pretty nice how quick Dave was to help him make Jade make pretty noises that day but that is so totally off topic, wow, he is totally not thinking of that at odd times pretty much ever since, no.
But anyway. Terezi. The fiend from hell. She used Dave against him! His best bro!
It's totally fair that he use Dave against her.
... Oh. Huh.
... Huh.
--
The occasion comes before he's done wrestling the thought into submission, so for the longest time he just -- he watches, and he doubts, and he tells himself it's not the right time and Dave wouldn't go along with it anyway and then it'd flop miserably, and --
And Jade knows he's here in the doorway they left open because she's facing it but she has Terezi's tongue up her umm womanplace so it's pretty likely Terezi can't scent him, she's got to be smelling nothing but Jade's happy juices.
Dave is on his knees behind her, petting her butt.
John has to admit Terezi has a nice butt. Nicer than Jade's even. (Jade has better boobs though and also the rest of her is not made of pointy bits and she would never yell surprise buttsex and flip him over, which he's sure Terezi would and in other news he is never going to do anything with her directly. Ever.)
(Then again he's never going to do anything with Dave directly either, but...)
He moves silently on the carpet, and Jade cracks her eyes open and smiles at him (he's sure they left the door open as a standing invitation to join in, why else, so it's okay). He breathes in, and then he puts his hands on Dave's bare shoulders (it's okay! John's dressed! John's in jeans and t-shirt and staying in them.)
Dave startles, begins to turn, one of his hands on Terezi's hip, the other resting on the curve of her butt, and John leans in to whisper in his ear, "Slap it."
(He's not sure why it comes out all rough and low and -- and like that, but (Dave shudders all over (he is not noticing that)) Dave's hand comes down, almost on automatic, swift and without hesitation.
Slap.
The way Terezi squeaks and jumps out of Jade's crotch has him laughing so hard he almost falls over. She turns, bewildered, then glares, oh, sweet victory.
"Yee-haw," Dave mumbles, blinking down at his hand. His face has gone all red around the shades. Jade is laughing her butt off.
And Terezi is growling! Whoops, time to abscond.
He does, right into Karkat's waiting chest.
Considering the amount of naked in the room it's pretty weird how displeased Karkat looks. John tries on a friendly grin. Behind him, Terezi pinches his hip, hard, and grins in turn. "Mister Strawberry Delight! How nice to--"
"The two of you will stop pitch-flirting with Dave as a proxy immediately, or else me and Jade are taking him back and going home. I am not letting the two of you make that into a thing."
His eyes are all squinty. Dave opens his mouth like he's about to say he agrees, or maybe that he doesn't mind it becoming a thing (John can see it either way.)
"Yeah, seriously," Jade pipes up before he can speak, "If you're gonna use an intermediary to get your blackflirting out of your system, it's kind of cheating not to use Karkat!"
"... That is so not what I was saying," Karkat sputters, but, well.
--
It's super disturbing to hear Terezi's happy noises up close and personal. She sounds like a chainsaw in love, nothing like Karkat's motor-trying-to-start-with-a-kitten-on-it.
At the same time it's hella fun to imagine the grimaces she must make when he makes Karkat gasp or moan before she can.
They keep making love to him in the dark, and if any hands stray, Karkat is there to distract John before he shrieks and put them back where they should be.
(It occurs to him later that Terezi is blind anyway and therefore that she totally did see him naked.)
--
Sollux Finds Out
--
-- twinArmageddons [TA] pestered carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
TA: hey kk, what'2 up iin your planetoiid of dork2 and de2perate hornball2
CG: SOLLUX? WOW, BEEN AGES SINCE I HEARD FROM YOU. ARE YOU GUYS FINALLY BACK IN CIVILIZED SPACE?
CG: HOW IS ARADIA?
TA: ... you know her, 2he'2 alway2 fiine.
TA: and ii a2ked fiir2t, nook2uck, what'2 up wiith the fiive of you, are you 2tiill flaiiliing around liike tool2 becau2e drunken makeout2 between friiend2 oh noe2?
TA: aa thought iit wa2 even odd2 that you'd all iimplode from embarra22ment and ab2cond the fuck out of there or that you'd fall iinto a depraved quadrant 2meariing orgy. pretty optiimii2tiic huh?
CG: WE'RE WORKING ON IT. (;B
TA: ...
TA: okay, who are you. are you an aliien who burrowed iin kk'2 thiinkpan and now you're u2iing hiim a2 a puppet?
TA: ii'd 2ay you're tz or dv tryiing to rp a2 hiim, but they'd be more conviinciing.
CG: HAR HAR. THIS IS A GOOD JOKE. LOOK AT ALL THE LITTLE ONOMATOPOEIAS I AM TYPING AWAY.
CG: OKAY, NO, I'M EVEN TOO LAZY TO COPYPASTE. NEVER MIND.
TA: alriight, a22hole, now ii'm worriied for real. what'2 goiing on?
CG: PFF. NOTHING THAT NEEDS YOU FRETTING AT IT, NERD PRINCE.
CG: FUCK, LIFE IS GOOD.
CG: ANYWAY, TELL ME ABOUT THE PLACES YOU'VE BEEN. DID YOU GUYS BRING BACK REPORTS FOR JADE AND ROSE? THEY'LL SLAUGHTER YOU IF YOU DIDN'T.
TA: yeah uh aa ha2 them, now 2top tryiing to fuck wiith my miind
TA: we were gone one 2weep, you have not changed THAT much.
CG: YESTERDAY I WOULD HAVE SAID I HADN'T.
TA: let me gue22. you found a human fundrug that work2 on troll2.
CG: HAHA, NO.
CG: GOOD GUESS, THOUGH. I AM SOOO ALTERED RIGHT NOW.
TA: ii'm 2eeiing that, 2weet tapdanciing fuck
CG: ENOUGH TO TELL YOU WITHOUT REGRET THAT I MISSED YOUR DOUCHEY, ODDLY NARROW FACE, AND THAT IF YOU ARE BACK IN COMMUNICATION RANGE YOU CAN'T BE FAR FROM THE HUB, SO IF YOU GUYS AREN'T HERE IN ONE WEEK I'M LETTING TEREZI HUNT YOU DOWN.
TA: iit wa2 the plan but now ii'm not 2ure iit wouldn't be 2afer to ab2cond the other way. kk, what the hell happened ye2terday to fuck you up that bad??
CG: FUCK ME UP THAT GOOD YOU MEAN.
CG: ACTUALLY GET RID OF THE UP.
TA: no way, you actually managed to keep a quadrant long enough to get to a paiil?
CG: UM.
CG: NOT QUITE.
CG: I MEAN
CG: THERE WAS NO PAIL.
CG: NOT THAT IT WAS NOT NEEDED, BUT THE SITUATION QUICKLY EVOLVED TO A POINT WHERE IT COULD NOT BE DEPLOYED.
TA: too much iinformatiion holy biilgegargliing fuck
CG: HAHA. SORRY.
CG: I'M JOSHING, I'M NOT SORRY AT ALL. REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO STRUT AROUND ABOUT TAPPING FEFERI OR ARADIA?
CG: SWEET REVENGE.
TA: ok 2o plea2e wow me wiith your fiinally lo2iing your viirgiiniity at ten 2weep2. whiich one are you tappiing, o grand ma2ter paiil guru.
CG: (((((:B
CG: ALL OF THEM.
CG: OKAY NOT ROSE OR KANAYA, BUT THEY DON'T LIVE WITH US SO THEY DON'T COUNT.
CG: AND AS OF YESTERDAY, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. HOLY GL'BGOLYB ON A TRICYCLE, IT WAS GORGEOUS. TEREZI AND JADE MADE OUT LIKE CRAZY. UNF.
CG: THIS IS THE CRY OF MY PEOPLE.
TA: ok ii've got the legii2lacerator2' 2treet drug regii2try open, tell me the name and batch
TA: ii thiink you need to get a refund, you got a bad one.
CG: YOU SOUND LIKE YOU THINK I'M MAKING IT UP.
TA: ii 2ound liike ii thiink ii'm gonna room wiith kn when ii vii2iit, you total nympho. wa2 iit an aphrodii2iiac or what??
CG: IT WAS SOPOR.
TA: ...
TA: ...................
CG: NO, SORRY, IT WAS "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT SOPOR," TRADEMARK JADE HARLEY.
CG: I SLEPT FIFTEEN HOURS.
CG: MY WORST DREAM INVOLVED HOPBEASTS TRYING TO CUDDLE UP TO ME AND LOOKING MILDLY SAD WHEN I WOULDN'T.
CG: BUT THEN THEY LEFT TO HOP AROUND WITH THEIR FURRY BRETHREN SO ALL ENDED WELL. UPON REFLECTION I THINK IT WAS TEREZI'S HAIR. I MUST HAVE SHOVED HER OFF MY CHEST IN MY SLEEP. WHOOPS.
CG: ANYWAY SHE SURVIVED, SO WHO CARES.
TA: ... 2opor. are you fuckiing 2eriiou2.
TA: ii thought iit only occurred naturally on alterniia, do you know how many refugee2 would pay through the nook for
TA: 2hiit, do you know what WE paiid to 2natch 2ome on the go?? we even helped 2ome dude friiend2 of aa'2 run iillegal 2opor off an iimperiial cargo that one tiime and the a22hole wa2 2eriiou2ly rolliing iin dough.
TA: jd managed to dupliicate iit? you're 2eriiou2?
CG: YUP.
TA: ... though iif the 2iide effect2 are that bad ii'm not 2ure 2he'll get to 2ell much of iit, welp
CG: THE EFFECTS ARE *NOT* THAT BAD, ASSHOLE.
CG: YESTERDAY ONE OF THE WOMEN I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD DECIDED TO GET CLOSER TO THE OTHER WOMAN I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. EMOTIONALLY *AND* THE BODY PART IN ASSORTED BODY PART WAY. IT WAS GORGEOUS.
CG: JOHN FORGOT HIS HUMAN NEUROSIS ABOUT MAN ON MAN SEX TO LET ME
CG: UH, DO STUFF YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT.
CG: ALSO DAVE WAS HOT AND HATEFULLY PITIABLE AS ALWAYS.
CG: I'M *HAPPY,* DOUCHEWAFFLE.
CG: HAPPY AND WELL-RESTED.
CG: I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT MY BRAIN COULD FUNCTION SO FAST, SO EASILY, *WITHOUT* A JOLT OF TERROR FIRST TO MAKE THE ADRENALINE FLOW.
TA: oh.
CG: I THINK AFTER A WEEK OF NORMAL SLEEP (INSERT RIDICULOUS SMILEY FACE HERE; ARE YOU JEALOUS YET?) I MIGHT TURN DOWN THE GOOFINESS.
CG: IT'S LIKE MY BRAIN IS REMEMBERING THAT IT WAS IN FACT CHRONICALLY DEPRIVED OF SLEEP FOR SWEEPS, SO NOW I'M A LITTLE FOGGY, BUT JADE AND KANAYA TELL ME IT'LL PASS.
CG: AND IN AN ODD WAY I ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER. I'D JUST STOPPED NOTICING I FELT BAD AT SOME POINT?
TA: wow um.
TA: that 2ound2 liike
TA: you are a 2appy a22hole and ii am 2aviing thii2 conver2atiion and never lettiing you liive iit down.
CG: HAHA, WHATEVER.
CG: SO WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GETTING HOME?
TA: 2iix day2, we're 2toppiing at the hub fiir2t to meet wiith the other human2.
TA: ... thiink jd would liike other te2t 2ubject2?
CG: YOU SAY THAT LIKE YOU'D BE ALLOWED TO RUN AWAY. (:B
--
John VS Terezi (kinda want to lengthen it with more pranks in the middle but got no ideas for them. :X)
--
She's been cuddling that new Judgeradicator Joodiy datachip against her chest all day, ever since Jade and Rose came back from their groceries expedition, so it's not too hard to figure out that when she sneaks away after dinner it's to go marathon it. She will be utterly engrossed for several hours. Perfect time for a prank!
He bursts in the rec room with a bag of the most disgusting rotten-purple and snot-green confetti at the ready, and ends up frozen in the middle of the carpet, face to face with Terezi-bitten Dave asscheeks, jutting impudently.
"Oh my god," says John, and Dave shrieks "oh my god!", and Terezi stares at John (kinda) and lets out a triumphant "Bwahaha!" in the purest tradition of Disney villainy.
(Disney is now a trollish franchise. That makes it pretty villainous.)
The way she laughs at his retreat has his ears heat up even worse than the fact that he got an eyeful of his best bro's butt.
--
He cannot get it out of his mind, even as he starts up the cycle again with other pranks, other topics. This time she bested him, and that can't be allowed. He can't figure how to top that, though. She pretty much made him prank himself.
Also, Dave butt. Okay, no. Well, Dave butt is pretty okay when it's doing things to Jade butt or (maybe in theory yes) Karkat butt (might want to sneak a quick, discreet look some day) because he loves watching them fall to pieces but on its own it makes John want to claw out his eyes.
It was pretty nice how quick Dave was to help him make Jade make pretty noises that day but that is so totally off topic, wow, he is totally not thinking of that at odd times pretty much ever since, no.
But anyway. Terezi. The fiend from hell. She used Dave against him! His best bro!
It's totally fair that he use Dave against her.
... Oh. Huh.
... Huh.
--
The occasion comes before he's done wrestling the thought into submission, so for the longest time he just -- he watches, and he doubts, and he tells himself it's not the right time and Dave wouldn't go along with it anyway and then it'd flop miserably, and --
And Jade knows he's here in the doorway they left open because she's facing it but she has Terezi's tongue up her umm womanplace so it's pretty likely Terezi can't scent him, she's got to be smelling nothing but Jade's happy juices.
Dave is on his knees behind her, petting her butt.
John has to admit Terezi has a nice butt. Nicer than Jade's even. (Jade has better boobs though and also the rest of her is not made of pointy bits and she would never yell surprise buttsex and flip him over, which he's sure Terezi would and in other news he is never going to do anything with her directly. Ever.)
(Then again he's never going to do anything with Dave directly either, but...)
He moves silently on the carpet, and Jade cracks her eyes open and smiles at him (he's sure they left the door open as a standing invitation to join in, why else, so it's okay). He breathes in, and then he puts his hands on Dave's bare shoulders (it's okay! John's dressed! John's in jeans and t-shirt and staying in them.)
Dave startles, begins to turn, one of his hands on Terezi's hip, the other resting on the curve of her butt, and John leans in to whisper in his ear, "Slap it."
(He's not sure why it comes out all rough and low and -- and like that, but (Dave shudders all over (he is not noticing that)) Dave's hand comes down, almost on automatic, swift and without hesitation.
Slap.
The way Terezi squeaks and jumps out of Jade's crotch has him laughing so hard he almost falls over. She turns, bewildered, then glares, oh, sweet victory.
"Yee-haw," Dave mumbles, blinking down at his hand. His face has gone all red around the shades. Jade is laughing her butt off.
And Terezi is growling! Whoops, time to abscond.
He does, right into Karkat's waiting chest.
Considering the amount of naked in the room it's pretty weird how displeased Karkat looks. John tries on a friendly grin. Behind him, Terezi pinches his hip, hard, and grins in turn. "Mister Strawberry Delight! How nice to--"
"The two of you will stop pitch-flirting with Dave as a proxy immediately, or else me and Jade are taking him back and going home. I am not letting the two of you make that into a thing."
His eyes are all squinty. Dave opens his mouth like he's about to say he agrees, or maybe that he doesn't mind it becoming a thing (John can see it either way.)
"Yeah, seriously," Jade pipes up before he can speak, "If you're gonna use an intermediary to get your blackflirting out of your system, it's kind of cheating not to use Karkat!"
"... That is so not what I was saying," Karkat sputters, but, well.
--
It's super disturbing to hear Terezi's happy noises up close and personal. She sounds like a chainsaw in love, nothing like Karkat's motor-trying-to-start-with-a-kitten-on-it.
At the same time it's hella fun to imagine the grimaces she must make when he makes Karkat gasp or moan before she can.
They keep making love to him in the dark, and if any hands stray, Karkat is there to distract John before he shrieks and put them back where they should be.
(It occurs to him later that Terezi is blind anyway and therefore that she totally did see him naked.)