Life and Times of Teh Asuka

Okay, I was asked twice about stuff that happens in this fic, so here it is. I think I've posted bits and pieces of this before in comments, idk, most people probably didn't see them.

It's not complete, I wanted to put in the Anko scene as well and some things drag on a bit and need to be trimmed. It's from a random Chuunin OC who was on surveillance detail the night Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura hook up and before Teamwork 1 starts.

I kinda love the old broad. She's... really bitter. XD

(also i probably should edit the part where she thinks naruto looks like a clone of minato and not like his mom at all, since canon said it was the other way around and i find it adorable that naruto is basically boy-kushina. Proof that this fic is WAY TOO OLD!)

( teamwork sidefic, WIP )

So the last child of Team Seven I have in mind is Uchiha Yukito -- a boy, then, born when Sakura is about 45 or possibly even later... yes, she's menopausal by then, advanced medical jutsu FTW! The kid is born via artificial insemination, because even though Sakura carries him, genetically, apart from her mitochondrial DNA he really is a pure Sasuke/Naruto baby. (basically they found a way to empty one of her ovums from her own DNA and replace it with Naruto's. Or maybe Sasuke's. I haven't decided yet who wins the battle for "No, YOU get to be Yukito's biological mom!")

This is what I know about him:
For someone who is made in equal parts of Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto's genes, Yukito's mild, laid-back disposition is nothing short of confounding. Sometimes Sakura entertains herself with the thought that her last child is so easy-going out of sheer perverseness. No doubt he would have inherited it straight from her, somehow.

Yukito has grayish brown hair, and also the sharingan, but he'll never develop it farther than the second tomoe. He's content with being average. Everyone in his family is extreme in some way and it's all very tiring, really. D:

But anyway.

I was toying with the thought of a real threesome baby, though truly since a kid gets half and half from their parents it's a bit hard to have three parents, unless you pick and choose who gives which genes, and that would take CENTURIES. But maybe you could merge two sperm cells and get that one to fertilize the egg, and then the baby would be half Sakura and one fourth each Naruto and Sasuke. (no sharingan for that one.) But at her age, Sakura can't really afford to have more than one, very closely supervised pregnancy. Even that one wouldn't be great fpor her health, so two of them back to back would be too much.

.. Twins are hardly an easy pregnancy, but she figures they'd still tire her out less than two separate ones, especially ones as medically watched over. I'm just not sure which medical discovery would come first (the two father, no mother thing, or the two-fathers-merged-as-one, one mother.) Because the offer Sakura made was basically to let Sasuke and Naruto experience the one single bond they yet hadn't, which is all very selfless, but if they can make threesome babies... um.

Then again it might be easier to merge two sperm cells with medical jutsu and then use those than to do the ovum thing, so Sakura might mention it as a stepping stone on the way to the two-dads thing, and later they might suggest to use it as well, half as her "reward" for being so selfless, a kid who is more her than either of them, but also either of them, and half because omg threesome baby. Also, maximizing uchiha clan genetic diversity is always good.

But, I don't know. If they can do one, would they really do the other one. Both solutions make the other one a bit redundant.

Then again is there really a ceiling on happiness and empty nest syndrome. XD

But just in case, the threesome baby would be a girl called Kahen, which means petal, because Sakura's mom is Hana (flower) and Sakura is a specific type of flower, so she might as well go with part-of-flower for the third generation. (dunno what Kahen'd call her own kid, though. Chlorophyll cell? XD)

I have NO IDEA what her personality would be like, though. >___> I planned the other three around subverted Mary-Sue types to give myself a starting point (team seven children would veer close to Sue just by virtue of having the parents they have anyway), but I already have the FemmeFataleSue type and the PrettierAndBitchierThanYou!Uchiha type and the... well, first kid is still spoiler. What could I twist -- oh my god, a GothSue. XD ("Kahen? KAHEN??? MY NAME IS OOKAMI MOONRAVEN!!" pffff) okay um maybe not... Maybe not even a sue-type either.

Suggestions?


edit: ( ... okay so Goth sounds like too much fun to say not to, right now. XDDD )

Tournament START!

Small scene, 1 000 words, but hey, at least it's started now! As always, unbetaed, if you find anything wrong or unclear please tell me and I'll fix it.

( 'Sixteen participants,' Kakashi had told them, one week exactly before the start of the tournament. 'The odds of two of you meeting in the first round are slightly under thirty percent.' )

Of my own invention, because I liek kissies and I'm sick and tired of that stupid writing block. Rarr.

So.

Here's the list of characters I'm willing to write about :
Sasuke, Naruto, Kyuunaru, Sakura, Sai, Itachi, Neji, Hinata, Hanabi, Ino, Heero, Duo(Duo's all spent, sorry!), Wufei, Dark Schneider, Kall Su, Rukia, Orihime, Cloud, Sephiroth, Zack, Aeris, Tifa, Red XIII, Cid, Vegeta, Bulma, and Roxas. (... I might have forgotten some; if so, I'll add them later if I'm reminded. It's a good start anyway. ;p)
(and I guess if you want to, you can ask for any of my OCs, fanfic and ofic both. *eyes Saro and Jo with suspicion* >.>)

1) Choose two characters in the list. Yes, only two.
2) Then choose a mood. (content, melancholy, giggly and the like).
3) Then I write you kissies. NO MOOD, NO KISSIES.

I'll be trying for at least ten sentences of it, but it can be one line, it can be ten pages (I seriously hope it won't, but.) Yes, there are different fandoms in there. Yes, I'm totally willing to write crossover kissies. Yes, I'm even willing to write pairings I usually wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Go wild, peoples.

I'm going to do them in batches of 5 because I have no idea when my energy will run out, but until I close it, feel free to ask anyway, just be aware that I might not get to your request. If I start a batch, it will be finished. if not, um, tough luck? XD

First batch: joisbishmyoga (ReiAske, Happys) - tephralynn DuoSakura, (Silly) - sarolynne (Naruto/Team Kunoichi -playful) - sister_dear (Wufei/Zack, teasing) - book_people (NaruSasu, catharsis) *DONE!*

Second batch: blackheisei (KyunaruSakura, possessive) - meritjubet (ItachiSai, buzzed) - luel_exana (Heero/Sasuke, resigned) - bemysty (DuoOrihime, hungry) - nekovixen (Orihime/Red XIII (NEED MOOD!))

Third batch: twitty_twit (Sasuke/Sephiroth, super) - hiza_chan (Duo/Zack, curious part two ) - mikkeneko (NaruHina, distressed) - fujiko1601 (NejiHina, optimistic) - sarolynne (GeirLiadan, comforting (in french))

Fourth batch: nightambre (Duo/Ino, bratty) - runespoor7 (Roxas/Ino, impatient) - hitori_toshiro (Roxas/Red XIII, romantic) - schuldlos85 (ZackTifa, jealousy) - jammaster_goat (SasuSai, Jealous)

Fifth batch: vicky_v (InoSaku, comforting) - therhoda (SaiNeji, bored) - chronolith (InoSephiroth or HinataRukia) - leilia (Vegeta/Neji, cold)

Sixth batch: shadowedsolace (Wufei/Neji, surprise) - jameva (Cid/Itachi, irritated) - lady_zip (Naruto/Sai, desperation) - nobody_famous (KyuunaruSakura, intrigued) - tricia1224 (NarutoOrihime or RukiaKyuunaru)

Seventh batch: animeprincess (TifaAeris, teasing) - sabriel_sylfaen (NaruSai, drunk) - okamikaze (KyuunaruItachi, high) - Anon (Orihime/Cloud or OrihimeAeris) - aikonamika (Zack/Cloud, broken)

Eightth batch: m_a_foxfire (NejiSasuke, restless) - illegal_goddess (SasukeRukia, mischievous) - phoenix_melody (RukiaDuo, surprised) - shinigami81383 (RoxasWufei, frustrated) - bakkhos (ItaSasu, nostalgic)

Ninth batch: joisbishmyoga (Hinata/Zack, excited) - charcoalcat (Cloud/Sasuke, kindness) - tekku_karii (KyuunaruRukia, snarky) - cepheid_nebulae (CloudSasuke, nervous) - chibirisuchan (Sephiroth/Vegeta, competition)

Tenth batch: questofdreams (Sasuke/Naruto, consolation)- valles_uf (HinataOrihime, triumph)- bootoye (KyuunaruCloud, cautious)- tephralynn (TifaSakura, competitive)- icelightning (ZackNaruto, silly)


REQUESTS ALL GONE SORRY GUYS I DIDN'T EDIT SOONER.
i will never manage to write them all anyway. omg you guys. x____x

Plz don't request impossible things too much, like Sephiroth and Itachi being happy or something. XD I'm trying to keep the crack on the "strange but still sorta IC" side of things, I have this pathological need to explain what the fuck is going on and when I can't I get all sad. ;__;