Life and Times of Teh Asuka

Two sequels to By The Letter (of the law)

Anonymous said: Dorky Knights, a couple (two??) months later, trying to make out during some free time but their mounts won't leave them alone. Bad Crow.

The good thing about being a knight lawfully wedded to another knight is that he’s always got a partner. Especially because of the political angle to being a Dersite and a Prospitian, or a troll and a human — they get lots of peacekeeping assignments, not to the level of leading war parties but sort of pre-diplomacy. Diplomacy with teeth. Flattening the ground for the real diplomacy parties — and sometimes it turns out the problem can be resolved with a good talking-to, no need to bring in his hell-sister and turn everyone inside out.

Metaphorically speaking. Most of the time. But anyway.

( Read more... )

Anonymous said: By the Letter (of the law), five years later

--

They don't really bother with court much. Karkat didn't enjoy Prospit's court already; Derse's makes him twice as happy that he's got disputes to slap down, speeches of friendship and country-wide news to deliver, and town-to-town enmities to mediate and scratch his ashen itch on. Even if he hated his current life he would hate it less than Derse's court.

The Empresses requested their presence, though, and he's good at hating things he's got to deal with anyways.

Case in point. "Dave I swear to all that is holy if you molest my gloves again I will slap you in the face with them."

"Huh."

"In a really not sexy way."

"Aw."

Karkat clears his throat and looks away from Dave's pouting lips. "You made us late enough with the boots, let's go already." He can still feel Dave's warm hands 'helping you tuck your pants in those stupid boots properly' all over his thighs.

He tucks Dave's arm in his and hauls him out of the door.

"Do you even like that kind of pain?" he grumbles -- quietly so the servants won't catch that they're discussing their sex life in public corridors once again.

"Face-slapping? Eh." Dave purses his lips. Karkat tears his eyes away. "I'd totally tolerate it if it made your clothes fall back off. They're so pretty, they'd probably make you look twice as good naked."

Karkat rolls his eyes, and vows to work twice as hard not to let on that the stupidly fancy court clothes Dave's brother sent them to wear are stiff and scratchy and ridiculously attention-grabbing, and make him miss his traveling leathers already. The lengths one will go to in order to please their matesprit, seriously.( Read more... )

Dave deliberately left the drapes open, but Karkat is stubborn, and also Dave's comforter is thick enough to block a lot of light; when Dave starts hearing movement up there it's about eleven in the morning.

"If you're gonna hurl, use the trash can to your left," he calls up to the mezzanine, lazily scrolling down a news article on his laptop.

No answer. Movement ceases. Hm, maybe he wasn't fully awake yet.

Only that does sound a lot like mice, or maybe like Karkat's claws skittering lightly along the wooden floor as he feels around blind.

"Water bottle to your right," Dave adds, eyes on his screen. Oh hey, this article looks funny. Click, into another tab it goes.

Still no answer. Hmm. Maybe he's fallen back asleep and the odd quality to the silence is all in Dave's head.

It legit me-certified ain't, Latula says, and grins with his mouth. He gives her a quiet chuckle.
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-- truncatedGrip [TG] has returned from idle! --

AA: haha didnt you just fall asleep five hours ago?? at least if i interpret the sudden idleness right
TG: i did
TG: i so fucking did
AA: i thought vacations were for "sleeping and fucking timezones up the left nostril with all the force of your time swag until theyre flipping like a breakfast paste disk and dont know what the fuck"
TG: you have learned well padawan
TG: my asshole man lusus stays an ignoramus completely willingly

"Byrd, two minutes!"

( Read more... )

CHAPTER COMPLETE BOOYAH.

also huge. Like over 75 pages long in Word/30k words huge. I don't think it's gonna fit on LJ otherwise than in at least seven pieces, so... i'm gonna be lazy and just post a link, i think. :X

( JN: Hi, John. )

Warning for sexual harassment.

--

Troll wifi sucks, is what Dave decides after twenty very calm, very rational minutes spent sitting on his ass in slimy heart-patterned boxers fiddling with his iShades, then his iPhone, and his suddenly not floating anymore turntop.

(It still works, it just won't stay up, and it's heavy on his knees.)

He'd use the desktop but his house has no power either. The lights won't turn on. His blinds aren't the best, though; outside there's billboards and shit, so he can see fine.

Maybe a little too fine.

He ain't complaining.

"Okay," he says to the walls -- good walls, best listeners, they didn't even mind when he was flipping his sh -- no, he was calm from the start, yes, he was. Anyway the walls are cool, they don't judge. "I need to go and fix this shit, if it can be fixed, and if I can't I need to find someone who can. Yep. That's the plan."

Interacting with strangers isn't something he looks forward to, but who knows what happened to Jade or John, the naive bastards, they know even less about trolls than he does and they're sure to land themselves in deep shit. Someone needs to come to the rescue.

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The first coherent thought Dave has upon waking up is fuck yeah three days' leave, so he goes straight back to sleep.

The second coherent thought he has, about a hour later, is shit want to pee don't want to brave the ladder dilemma.

The third is old soda bottle in the corner? And the fourth is Rose will know somehow, I'll never live it down.

At any rate, he is awake. He cracks open his eyes, gazes at the slanted ceiling, stretches his legs. Shit yeah futon. Missed you, buddy. His back hardly hurts today.

Of course he kind of hurts everywhere else. But it's a low-grade, stealthy kind of soreness. He figures so long as he doesn't move an inch it'll have no reason to get worse. Maybe he can get Karkat to fetch stuff for him.

Something is breathing nearby.

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.___. CHECK PREVIOUS POST I DID NOT POST IT TO DW/LJ BEFORE WHOOPS.

--

“Crash Standing, Or, An Account Of The Post-Game Life of One Byrd Sprite Strider, Aged Sixteen” Presents:
a Succint Yet Accurate Summary in the Form of Haiku:
LO, THERE IT COMES BACK
INAPPROPRIATE BONER
FUCKHELL NOT AGAIN

--

Chapter 9


Flying by plane is just about the most boring thing you have ever experienced in your life, and considering you once spent three years of your life stuck on a ship surrounded by void, some more void on top, and a little more void in both front and back, that's saying something.

Granted, the ship was large. Granted, it was well-populated. Granted, your then-girlfriend could pop planets out of her pockets and send you a-questing whenever you got bored of the corridors.

It was still three years. Right now you've been on the plane four hours and you feel like you've entered Battleship: Year Four.

Your other self is the Dude of Time; you know from time shit. Someone is definitely messing the hell out of this flow. Goddamn US Airways.

( Read more... )

Background pairings are still Gamzee♦Karkat, Terezi♣Gamzee and Dave♥Terezi.

Any Dave♦Rose or Byrd♦John exist solely in Karkat’s fevered imagination okay.

--


Chapter 7: Day twelve, evening

It is party time tonight at Casa de Strider, by which you mean on the roof which technically is not part of the apartment but fuck that noise.

It's also only a party if you consider a bunch of people sitting or standing around making small talk in between yawns a party. ( Read more... )

Chapter 3: day ten

You wake to a thumping noise, Dave going ow.

You don't want to be awake, you're warm and nice and cuddlysafe, but this sounds just too suspicious. Your eyes crack open.

Bro's face is about ten inches away from your own.

"--Ghhk."

He stares. You stare back. You hate how you don't sleep in your shades, even though sleeping in shades is stupid and a great way to get them broken and anyway iShades need to recharge too. He can see your naked face, which is even more embarrassing than if you were actually naked.

Well, fuck. Looks like he's not going to take no for an answer today.

He tilts his head a little. You cringe, brace yourself.

"Cute."

... The fuck?

You blink. Your hand twitches to grab the covers and pull them up, on pure reflex, and oh hey you're stuck. You look down.

You seem to have sprouted a growth in the form of a troll.( Read more... )

The Family You Choose ‘verse (fourth in the series, first being Awake at Night — click the tag). The first three dealt with culture clashes, and Dad Egbert adopting Karkat and Gamzee. This one is Davesprite-centric.

Post-Sburb on Earth, guardians are alive again, Dirk and Roxy get to live in the same time period as the other humans, all trolls who survived are being hosted by humans.

Pairing: Davesprite/Karkat, background Dave/Terezi and others.

It’s been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.

( Once upon a time she got your best bro killed and your Jade died as a result and you had to leave your Rose behind to wait alone in a doomed timeline for a horrible end to catch up. It's been weird sharing an apartment with her post-Game, but then again everything's been weird. )</a