Life and Times of Teh Asuka

Anonymous asked: John/Jade/Karkat - John and Jade are demon summoners (for reasons) trying to call up an incubus/succubus (for reasons). They get Karkat.

1200 words. No porn, but arousal, some silliness.

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"The teacher's going to be kind of pissed, isn't she?" John says, and giggles. Jade snorts back at him.

"It's not like succubi are on the restricted list, so really, she should have been clearer." She prods John with her foot; he's sitting a quart of the circle away from her. "Double-check the wards properly! Dying of awesome sex would be a good way to go if we have to, but I'm not keeling over before I get my diploma, okay?"

John rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Jade keeps watching him from the corner of her eye for a few seconds; he seems to be doing it seriously, at least, even if he's still huffy. "Bluh. I get why you'd need it, but not why I need to pass demonology if my major is weather magic."

( Read more... )

Mostly homestuck, a trolls!GW AU, and a Dave/Karkat Pacific Rim/Jaeger Pilots AU that's like six times three sentences plus a seventh for the road. .__.

( After the massive brawl in the cafeteria is contained they tell him in cold, disappointed tones that the guy whose nose he broke for being an intolerable shitwaffle (which started the whole thing) was the same guy who they summoned him here for, for the way their scores match so strangely well on paper. )

Half of the fic is humor and fluff and snarky dialogue (the snarky dialogue continues into the porn, tbh) (...in SPACE!! not that this is very plot-relevant. XD) The pairings are a big clusterfuck of overlapping two- and threesomes between Jade, Dave, Karkat, John and Terezi.

(the quadrant grid looks something like. uh. (john♦jade)♥karkat, terezi♥/♠karkat♥/♠dave, (john♠terezi)♣karkat, karkat♥jade♥dave etcetera etcetera. It's ridiculous.)

I love this 'verse. Might do more with it at a later date, idk. This fic is really just me catering to my poly needs in the most fun gratuitious way I could.

Also contains double penetration and recuperacoon sex. (that's basically a vat of goo that trolls sleep in, for those not up to date on homestuck lingo. XD)

( I would advise you to get your grubby claws off the gravity controls before I get to you, Mister Blueberry Surprise! )

Summary: Magnetic Wodka has more side-effects than you'd expect. Fortunately, John and Jade are enterprising and adventurous souls willing to help Karkat explore them.

Contains: A threesome (F/M/M) - porny xeno shenanigans (tentabulge + nook combo w00t) - double penetration (:3) - underage drinking - a horrific strap-on - being silly with video game mechanics - a Dreambubble. (Does not contain twincest.)

10 500 words.

One minute Karkat was shuffling random odds and ends out of a cupboard in the meteor's lab-kitchen looking for that mythical last package of Instant Grubcorns, the next he was standing like a dumbass on space-black brittle rock, a bottle of Magnetic Wodka in hand and lakes of blood all around.

( Pulse and Haze. Joy. )

There'll be a colored illustration for this one eventually, seeing as it was written for a lineart I did. At the moment it's not done yet though.

I feel I must warn people again that it's a pretty silly fic, which I wrote in under five hours pretty much making it up as I went along. I have never researched article writing or journalism and so I'm pretty sure a real one would be nothing like that as well.

Earthian Dating, Alternian-Style: Episode Three, The Matesprit/Kismesis Double-Double-Reacharound
By Brett Howell

( Who amongst the general public hasn't at the very least heard of John Egbert, rising humorist and riveting showman (and, slightly less known, accomplished, classically-trained concert pianist?) If you're not into astronomy or nuclear physics you might be excused for not knowing of his cousin, vivacious and horrendously brilliant Jade Harley. (If you are, you have no excuse; in those circles she is revolutionizing there is no escaping her sharp insight.) )

And by collaborative storytelling I really mean cybering.

This was written for, uh. My own prompt on the kink meme actually, that I left a few months back and no one used it and it just so happens this week is Fill Some Goddamn Prompts Instead of Making New Ones week over there. So.

(...) turns out they have somewhat of a reluctant crush on the same person.

I just really, really, really want Karkat as the filling in a Prospit Twins sandwich. Either as a shared fantasy/collaborative storytelling about how it would theoretically go down, or as something they eventually do implement when they get to meet again.

This wasn't as porny and detailed as I wanted it to be, but they decided to be bashful on me. :(

Warnings for: pseudoincest vibes, cybersex, awkward teenagers being awkward, log fic.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:45 --

GG: hey john, i thought you were going to bed early!
EB: nd she kissed him full on the mouth with lots of to
EB: GAH
GG: :O ???
EB: damn it jade, you and your ninja windows! pretend you didn't see anything okay.

( Adventures in Collaborative Storytelling )