Three Sentences AU Meme results
(might reopen this and then it'll be open on lj/dw as well. atm a bit busy tho.)
Mostly Homestuck but some Gundam Wing as well. Also contains daemon ficlet, demon summoner AU AU, and BT!Karkat/General Harley.
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thingsareswinging asked: Karkat/Meenah, Scheherazade!stuck
-
“For the love of little land sharks, I don’t even need the book anymore for that fucking story, I am not reading that fucking story once a fucking gain, I am so sick and tired of that fucking story I will erupt in a geyser of inner organs and vomit and turn myself inside out like a glove and die and why can’t we read a nice original romance for once or even some existential shit, I’ve got one with rowboats and three goldfish—”
She smirks and sprawls bare-belly up across his lap like the most dangerous, sexiest bookrest ever, and she snaps her fingers.
He wasn’t lying, for the next hour he doesn’t have to look at the book even once.
--
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Anonymous asked: John/Jade, post-apocalypse desert.
-
“If I die first,” he said, stumbling up a dune, “you should totally cut me open and drink my blood.”
“Don’t be stupid, it’s not that kind of apocalypse,” Jade says as she slaps the back of his head and grabs his hand to haul him over the top — and then to hold him back before he pitches forward.
He laughs rusted and dry, she smiles back with cracked lips; neither says anything about that “if” that should by all rights be a “when.”
--
elementalsight asked: The ghost/monster in the closet/under the bed. Dirk and Karkat
-
“Am I supposed to scream or something?” Dirk inquired.
The ghost/demon/thing boy in the closet snarled back, “No, you’re supposed to keep the fucking door closed, Satan fucking wept I put four locks on this — four! — and then I jammed them all, how do you go from here and think it’s an invitation to fucking interact — but since you’ve intruded already then yes, please, do blow my eardrums!”
“Okay, cool,” Dirk replied, and closed the door, vaguely thinking that next time he needed the broom he should come armed with milk and cookies.
--
Anonymous asked: Demon Summoner AU AU? demon!Dave/Detective-Summoner Karkat
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“Hey, Neophyte, if the suspect’s corpsy enough I’mma kidnap Vantas and his fantastic rear flesh cushion, the cheap asshole owes me about three full pails by now, that good?”
Karkat sputters when Dave speaks, screams when Dave’s long toes curl around his upper arms and he beats his fire-feathered demon wings and the crime scene falls away under them, and then they’re too high up for him to tell Dave to land them and anyway he’d rather die than go back to the scene and be heckled for all the kinky xeno bucket filling he should be getting to.
Also he really likes flying, but he’ll be damned if he hands Dave any more blackmail material.
--
phrux asked: MeenahxVriska, medievalpoliticsthingy
-
In the middle of the snoozefestiest meeting suddenly there’s a broad, only just blue enough to be let in the door, who yells “This is boring, let’s just burn it down!”
There is merit to her suggestion, and not only because of that very flattering corset with window boobage, but also because she’s pretty sure the assholes her advisors don’t want her starting a war on are just testing to see how far they can jerk her fork before she forks ‘em back. In the middle of outraged guards and fainting Dukes, Meenah throws her head back, laughs, and joins her on the table.
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Anonymous asked: Jade Dave Karkat: teen ninja group adventures?
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(wow you should go prod![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edenfalling for fic from her narutoverse AU plotbunnies no wait it was terezi not jade in the genin team but yeah no i’m kidding don’t prod her but wow does this make me crave that ‘verse suddenly. i don’t even remember if she did write anything for it or if it was only plotting right now, argh)
—
“Wow, the mirth everywhere — I take it back, Harley, you do have a sense of humor, me passing for a courtesan—”
“And why not, huh, why would it have to be me in a stupid kimono with three hundred layers and an obi that won’t let you breathe and two tons of makeup all the fucking time when you’re just as pretty as I am and you’d just have to keep your stupid mouth SHUT—!”
“Guys,” said Dave, for the third time, and still just as unheard, “I already told you I had dibs on the mad courtesan fan action, shit’s delirious levels of — you know what, keep making the big decisions, I’m gonna get changed.”
--
Anonymous asked: is a non-HS prompt okay? because Duo/Heero, daemons
-
The thing about corvids which Duo likes to forgetbecause it hurts is they’re highly social animals, made to live in huge family groups, to play together, to cooperate.
When he sees his Mort preening the crest of Heero’s nameless daemon, barely half her size, what he remembers is that falcons are not.
Mort snorts at him and asks him if he’d feel better knowing this is just a mating display.
--
Anonymous asked: ...Duo&Heero entering the medium?
-
The carpet is so soaked in OZ blood that Duo slips in his last rush; he lands on his knee, hard, and pushes the disk in the computer’s waiting tray.
Connect10n 1n1t1al1zed, sends Heero, and the world and all the meteors in it fade out.
The Rogue of Doom dusts himself off; he has to make sure the chunk of base he inherited is free of rats before he takes the gundam parked on its ceiling to go visit the Land of Trash and Cathedrals for some world-without-OZ remaking action.
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nachttour asked: ===> Quatre: look toward the skian clouds or listen to the whispers of those out farther than you have ever dared consider.
-
When he awakens in the purple double of his childhood bedroom for a moment there is a part of him that wants to tear everything down and burn it. He left all that behind, his childhood and his right to ever call himself his father’s son, and he feels this overdyed mockery is throwing his sacrifice in his face.
He breathes out and goes to the window to listen to the sad, world-rending songs descending from dark skies.
--
theunvanquishedzims asked: BT!Karkat/BT!General Harley, arranged marriage sealing peace treaty, whether Karkat was captured or not. (Yes it's been done, but not by you.)
-
The new empress gives them a friend and advisor of hers, as a good hostage, and a mutant, as he has no sexual partners to break heart or spade of.
He’s a man and not a boy, but only just, though a brave, smart, generous one — Hass heard he offered himself, when he learned of the Empress’ dilemma.
Hass leans in with a moustache-obscured smile and tells him not to fret much; old as he is Karkat will have a lot of years to enjoy wielding the power of a Vantas-Harley widower.
—
Karkat’s arranged matesprit mildly terrifies him — celebrated, genius General, so old his skin has gone crisscrossed with use and still moving with a spring in his steps that says “try me”.
When he offers the likelihood of his coming death like a consolation Karkat kicks him under the table.
“If you die,” he hisses under his breath, “it has better be in battle or on a pail; I will not be wedded to a fucking quitter.”
--
elementalsight asked: Duo and Wufei, Royalty and Knights AU~
-
The visiting princess’ fiance is a stuck-up, sharp-tongued asshole of the highest order.
He can also spar Duo back across the training salle and into the floor, technique ridiculously perfect and face bored, and when Duo manages to trip him with a lowly street trick he will *flare* and instead of whining about underhanded cheating he will finally take him seriously until they’re both sweaty and disheveled and grinning with all teeth bared.
Duo is ready to forgive a hell of a lot for that.
--
isleofconclusions asked: Karkat and Dave in an FFVII setting, please?
-
Dave fucking hated pulling guard duty on the labs, and it was one of the perks of going Second Class that he didn’t have to anymore, but it was a perk of Dave Strider being a fucking soft touch that when someone needed to beg off to fix things with his fiancee, well, there he was going sure yeah I’ll swipe your card and pretend to be you.
He hated guard duty because of the screams and the stink and the half-mad beast-monsters and the beasts that weren’t, that were (almost) men, that were men he’d been a lowly trooper with before they “had to go back home to see to their ailing mother”.
He’d have to apologize to John, staging a breakout using his ID card, but it wasn’t like John didn’t have a Turk-clad Vriska-shaped alibi.
--
Anonymous asked: Feferi/Jade, mermaid war!
-
It took Jade three weeks to hit upon a metal supple enough to braid into nets that mermaid teeth wouldn’t make short work of — no one on the internet wanted to believe her infestation problem and they were zero help at all! — but at long last, when she checked her traps this morning they weren’t tattered and empty.
“Good,” she hissed, “now I can tell you face to face that I’m not going anywhere NEAR your spawning grounds so leave my fucking crab traps alone and hunt your own or I will have myself an omelet and fish steaks, is that fucking clear?!”
“You’re not any fun,” the mermaid pouted,” but shore, if you insist.”
--
Anonymous asked: Dave and John, boxers
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“Oh my god, not him, I will fight anyone but him.”
“Sorry, buddy!” John said, and blasted through his guard with an almost gentle-looking left hook.
Sprawled on the mat, glove gingerly feeling his nose, Dave didn’t even bother sitting up before the end of the count.
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Anonymous asked: AU: John/Karkat/Jade Daemons
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“She’s so precious,” Karkat said, and burst into tears, holding the dwarf bunny/hedgehog-looking thing against his chest so tight the daemon squeaked a little.
John and Jade shared a bright goofy grin over Karkat’s bowed head; who would have thought that crossing over into the alpha kids’ session would finally fix that gaping absence at the trolls’ side?
Jade’s thylacine nosed gently at the brand new little ball of fluff, and got pricked for his trouble.
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proserpine-in-phases asked: oh ho ho I wouldn't want to steal you away from writing demon things, but: Kankri & Porrim, generation colony ship in mid transit.
-
“Yes, I am indeed playing them those horrid subliminal ethics tapes again, and for a good reason, Porrim, do we want this to be an utopia or not, and if so why should we hobble ourselves by—”
“Free will erasure, benevolent dictatorship rhetoric — you know I’m right, Kankri, why can’t you trust them to make their own learning mistakes?”
He’s silent for a long while before he mutters back, “because I won’t be there to fix those for them afterwards — I am not controlling, I am *concerned*, and the ‘freak’ part of control freak is a *slur*, Porrim, how about calling it detail-oriented managing of a path to success—”
--
izfan1 asked: John & Karkat trying make a treaty between their races,
-
It would later be regarded as a great moment of diplomacy, one of those points in time where the destinies of thousands of planets hang in the balance, and one where miraculously the precarious equilibrium holds and finds true stability.
What happened was that Karkat was fucking sick and tired of death and culling and friends being killed for stupid reasons and being chosen because when the hyum-n representative killed him in a fit of offense he wouldn’t be a big loss and he wanted to stick it to the assholes who sent him to take their fall, and John lost the paper on which Rose had written all the concessions to wring out of the trolls to make them understand how much they’d have to crawl and beg for comparatively better terms later on, and winged it from there.
They started with shaking hands and neither one bowing and ended up three days later still drunk and with a peace treaty where neither side saved face by insulting the other side so much it’d spark a second war in six months, and they said afterwards neither could have forced the leaders to hold themselves accountable for it had they not amassed supporters of their own, but the reasons for those supporters supporting them were also that they were who they were so in the end everyone was quite happy to blame the peace on them.
--
Anonymous asked: AU: John/Karkat/Jade space pirates
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“I don’t know, there’s only two of us manning this ship and you always complain about having to do everything and I just thought we could do with a cabin boy?”
“Oh my god, John, do you even know what a cabin boy is,” Jade groaned, “because no it isn’t the guy in charge of keeping your shirts and old socks off the cabin floors,” (and then she groaned again as she looked over the stray stowaway that her idiot First Mate/Weapons Officer/Co-Captain/halfclonewithbenefits had been feeding in secret, because damn but he was cute and it was a shame she had that stubborn streak of anti-piratey ethics.)
Though it made her feel a little bit hopeful that behind the offended flusteration and all the yelling at her idiot partner the stowaway looked just a tiny bit disappointed that he wouldn’t be ravished in the Captain’s bunk after all.
--
Anonymous asked: AU: John/Karkat/Jade species swap
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GG: yes both of us, so what, its not our fault youre so good at hateflirting okay??? >>:E
EB: ]:B < yeah but seriously, jeydhe, we’re gonna have to settle this with a bet or something because i am *not* bowing out of the race for karl’s spade but if we keep going we’re gonna accidentally fall in ashen! where there’s no butt touching at *ALL*!!
CG: AND HAVE YOU TWO CLOWNS GIVEN YOUR COMMUNAL BRAINCELL A WORKOUT AND ASKED YOURSELVES, “WHAT IF KARL DIDN’T WANT HIS BUTT T OKAY NO I CAN’T EVEN FINISH THIS ONE WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.
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Anonymous asked: Homestuck AU: Jade/Karkat, Jade is a werewolf
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The wolf that dragged him to safety and is now trying to brood him is big like a pony, and it growls and bares a double mile of teeth whenever he tries to move, so in the end Karkat just tries to appreciate that at least he’s warm, trapped as he is under thick fur and animal body warmth from the waist down.
When he wakes up, yesterday’s wounds still aching, he has a faceful of black fur that is actually a brown-skinned girl’s crazy long hair.
She’s so naked it takes him three minutes to recognize Jade Harley, Science Club president, best enemy for three years running and secret crush for half of those.
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Anonymous asked: Karkat/Jade, humans-invade-Alternia AU?
-
Her eyes run up the length of the blood track again, bright human red splatters going from between her feet straight to the alien pressed against the rock face, staring at her powered armor and the rifle in her hands with furious despair.
He only has one blade on him — short, curved — and he still threatens her with it, right up until the blood loss gets to him and he crumples small and senseless on the rocks.
She thought she was racing to rescue one of hers; she’s got enough bandages to spare for a prisoner.
Mostly Homestuck but some Gundam Wing as well. Also contains daemon ficlet, demon summoner AU AU, and BT!Karkat/General Harley.
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thingsareswinging asked: Karkat/Meenah, Scheherazade!stuck
-
“For the love of little land sharks, I don’t even need the book anymore for that fucking story, I am not reading that fucking story once a fucking gain, I am so sick and tired of that fucking story I will erupt in a geyser of inner organs and vomit and turn myself inside out like a glove and die and why can’t we read a nice original romance for once or even some existential shit, I’ve got one with rowboats and three goldfish—”
She smirks and sprawls bare-belly up across his lap like the most dangerous, sexiest bookrest ever, and she snaps her fingers.
He wasn’t lying, for the next hour he doesn’t have to look at the book even once.
--
--
Anonymous asked: John/Jade, post-apocalypse desert.
-
“If I die first,” he said, stumbling up a dune, “you should totally cut me open and drink my blood.”
“Don’t be stupid, it’s not that kind of apocalypse,” Jade says as she slaps the back of his head and grabs his hand to haul him over the top — and then to hold him back before he pitches forward.
He laughs rusted and dry, she smiles back with cracked lips; neither says anything about that “if” that should by all rights be a “when.”
--
elementalsight asked: The ghost/monster in the closet/under the bed. Dirk and Karkat
-
“Am I supposed to scream or something?” Dirk inquired.
The ghost/demon/thing boy in the closet snarled back, “No, you’re supposed to keep the fucking door closed, Satan fucking wept I put four locks on this — four! — and then I jammed them all, how do you go from here and think it’s an invitation to fucking interact — but since you’ve intruded already then yes, please, do blow my eardrums!”
“Okay, cool,” Dirk replied, and closed the door, vaguely thinking that next time he needed the broom he should come armed with milk and cookies.
--
Anonymous asked: Demon Summoner AU AU? demon!Dave/Detective-Summoner Karkat
-
“Hey, Neophyte, if the suspect’s corpsy enough I’mma kidnap Vantas and his fantastic rear flesh cushion, the cheap asshole owes me about three full pails by now, that good?”
Karkat sputters when Dave speaks, screams when Dave’s long toes curl around his upper arms and he beats his fire-feathered demon wings and the crime scene falls away under them, and then they’re too high up for him to tell Dave to land them and anyway he’d rather die than go back to the scene and be heckled for all the kinky xeno bucket filling he should be getting to.
Also he really likes flying, but he’ll be damned if he hands Dave any more blackmail material.
--
phrux asked: MeenahxVriska, medievalpoliticsthingy
-
In the middle of the snoozefestiest meeting suddenly there’s a broad, only just blue enough to be let in the door, who yells “This is boring, let’s just burn it down!”
There is merit to her suggestion, and not only because of that very flattering corset with window boobage, but also because she’s pretty sure the assholes her advisors don’t want her starting a war on are just testing to see how far they can jerk her fork before she forks ‘em back. In the middle of outraged guards and fainting Dukes, Meenah throws her head back, laughs, and joins her on the table.
--
Anonymous asked: Jade Dave Karkat: teen ninja group adventures?
-
(wow you should go prod
edenfalling for fic from her narutoverse AU plotbunnies no wait it was terezi not jade in the genin team but yeah no i’m kidding don’t prod her but wow does this make me crave that ‘verse suddenly. i don’t even remember if she did write anything for it or if it was only plotting right now, argh)—
“Wow, the mirth everywhere — I take it back, Harley, you do have a sense of humor, me passing for a courtesan—”
“And why not, huh, why would it have to be me in a stupid kimono with three hundred layers and an obi that won’t let you breathe and two tons of makeup all the fucking time when you’re just as pretty as I am and you’d just have to keep your stupid mouth SHUT—!”
“Guys,” said Dave, for the third time, and still just as unheard, “I already told you I had dibs on the mad courtesan fan action, shit’s delirious levels of — you know what, keep making the big decisions, I’m gonna get changed.”
--
Anonymous asked: is a non-HS prompt okay? because Duo/Heero, daemons
-
The thing about corvids which Duo likes to forget
When he sees his Mort preening the crest of Heero’s nameless daemon, barely half her size, what he remembers is that falcons are not.
Mort snorts at him and asks him if he’d feel better knowing this is just a mating display.
--
Anonymous asked: ...Duo&Heero entering the medium?
-
The carpet is so soaked in OZ blood that Duo slips in his last rush; he lands on his knee, hard, and pushes the disk in the computer’s waiting tray.
Connect10n 1n1t1al1zed, sends Heero, and the world and all the meteors in it fade out.
The Rogue of Doom dusts himself off; he has to make sure the chunk of base he inherited is free of rats before he takes the gundam parked on its ceiling to go visit the Land of Trash and Cathedrals for some world-without-OZ remaking action.
--
nachttour asked: ===> Quatre: look toward the skian clouds or listen to the whispers of those out farther than you have ever dared consider.
-
When he awakens in the purple double of his childhood bedroom for a moment there is a part of him that wants to tear everything down and burn it. He left all that behind, his childhood and his right to ever call himself his father’s son, and he feels this overdyed mockery is throwing his sacrifice in his face.
He breathes out and goes to the window to listen to the sad, world-rending songs descending from dark skies.
--
theunvanquishedzims asked: BT!Karkat/BT!General Harley, arranged marriage sealing peace treaty, whether Karkat was captured or not. (Yes it's been done, but not by you.)
-
The new empress gives them a friend and advisor of hers, as a good hostage, and a mutant, as he has no sexual partners to break heart or spade of.
He’s a man and not a boy, but only just, though a brave, smart, generous one — Hass heard he offered himself, when he learned of the Empress’ dilemma.
Hass leans in with a moustache-obscured smile and tells him not to fret much; old as he is Karkat will have a lot of years to enjoy wielding the power of a Vantas-Harley widower.
—
Karkat’s arranged matesprit mildly terrifies him — celebrated, genius General, so old his skin has gone crisscrossed with use and still moving with a spring in his steps that says “try me”.
When he offers the likelihood of his coming death like a consolation Karkat kicks him under the table.
“If you die,” he hisses under his breath, “it has better be in battle or on a pail; I will not be wedded to a fucking quitter.”
--
elementalsight asked: Duo and Wufei, Royalty and Knights AU~
-
The visiting princess’ fiance is a stuck-up, sharp-tongued asshole of the highest order.
He can also spar Duo back across the training salle and into the floor, technique ridiculously perfect and face bored, and when Duo manages to trip him with a lowly street trick he will *flare* and instead of whining about underhanded cheating he will finally take him seriously until they’re both sweaty and disheveled and grinning with all teeth bared.
Duo is ready to forgive a hell of a lot for that.
--
isleofconclusions asked: Karkat and Dave in an FFVII setting, please?
-
Dave fucking hated pulling guard duty on the labs, and it was one of the perks of going Second Class that he didn’t have to anymore, but it was a perk of Dave Strider being a fucking soft touch that when someone needed to beg off to fix things with his fiancee, well, there he was going sure yeah I’ll swipe your card and pretend to be you.
He hated guard duty because of the screams and the stink and the half-mad beast-monsters and the beasts that weren’t, that were (almost) men, that were men he’d been a lowly trooper with before they “had to go back home to see to their ailing mother”.
He’d have to apologize to John, staging a breakout using his ID card, but it wasn’t like John didn’t have a Turk-clad Vriska-shaped alibi.
--
Anonymous asked: Feferi/Jade, mermaid war!
-
It took Jade three weeks to hit upon a metal supple enough to braid into nets that mermaid teeth wouldn’t make short work of — no one on the internet wanted to believe her infestation problem and they were zero help at all! — but at long last, when she checked her traps this morning they weren’t tattered and empty.
“Good,” she hissed, “now I can tell you face to face that I’m not going anywhere NEAR your spawning grounds so leave my fucking crab traps alone and hunt your own or I will have myself an omelet and fish steaks, is that fucking clear?!”
“You’re not any fun,” the mermaid pouted,” but shore, if you insist.”
--
Anonymous asked: Dave and John, boxers
-
“Oh my god, not him, I will fight anyone but him.”
“Sorry, buddy!” John said, and blasted through his guard with an almost gentle-looking left hook.
Sprawled on the mat, glove gingerly feeling his nose, Dave didn’t even bother sitting up before the end of the count.
--
Anonymous asked: AU: John/Karkat/Jade Daemons
-
“She’s so precious,” Karkat said, and burst into tears, holding the dwarf bunny/hedgehog-looking thing against his chest so tight the daemon squeaked a little.
John and Jade shared a bright goofy grin over Karkat’s bowed head; who would have thought that crossing over into the alpha kids’ session would finally fix that gaping absence at the trolls’ side?
Jade’s thylacine nosed gently at the brand new little ball of fluff, and got pricked for his trouble.
--
proserpine-in-phases asked: oh ho ho I wouldn't want to steal you away from writing demon things, but: Kankri & Porrim, generation colony ship in mid transit.
-
“Yes, I am indeed playing them those horrid subliminal ethics tapes again, and for a good reason, Porrim, do we want this to be an utopia or not, and if so why should we hobble ourselves by—”
“Free will erasure, benevolent dictatorship rhetoric — you know I’m right, Kankri, why can’t you trust them to make their own learning mistakes?”
He’s silent for a long while before he mutters back, “because I won’t be there to fix those for them afterwards — I am not controlling, I am *concerned*, and the ‘freak’ part of control freak is a *slur*, Porrim, how about calling it detail-oriented managing of a path to success—”
--
izfan1 asked: John & Karkat trying make a treaty between their races,
-
It would later be regarded as a great moment of diplomacy, one of those points in time where the destinies of thousands of planets hang in the balance, and one where miraculously the precarious equilibrium holds and finds true stability.
What happened was that Karkat was fucking sick and tired of death and culling and friends being killed for stupid reasons and being chosen because when the hyum-n representative killed him in a fit of offense he wouldn’t be a big loss and he wanted to stick it to the assholes who sent him to take their fall, and John lost the paper on which Rose had written all the concessions to wring out of the trolls to make them understand how much they’d have to crawl and beg for comparatively better terms later on, and winged it from there.
They started with shaking hands and neither one bowing and ended up three days later still drunk and with a peace treaty where neither side saved face by insulting the other side so much it’d spark a second war in six months, and they said afterwards neither could have forced the leaders to hold themselves accountable for it had they not amassed supporters of their own, but the reasons for those supporters supporting them were also that they were who they were so in the end everyone was quite happy to blame the peace on them.
--
Anonymous asked: AU: John/Karkat/Jade space pirates
-
“I don’t know, there’s only two of us manning this ship and you always complain about having to do everything and I just thought we could do with a cabin boy?”
“Oh my god, John, do you even know what a cabin boy is,” Jade groaned, “because no it isn’t the guy in charge of keeping your shirts and old socks off the cabin floors,” (and then she groaned again as she looked over the stray stowaway that her idiot First Mate/Weapons Officer/Co-Captain/halfclonewithbenefits had been feeding in secret, because damn but he was cute and it was a shame she had that stubborn streak of anti-piratey ethics.)
Though it made her feel a little bit hopeful that behind the offended flusteration and all the yelling at her idiot partner the stowaway looked just a tiny bit disappointed that he wouldn’t be ravished in the Captain’s bunk after all.
--
Anonymous asked: AU: John/Karkat/Jade species swap
-
GG: yes both of us, so what, its not our fault youre so good at hateflirting okay??? >>:E
EB: ]:B < yeah but seriously, jeydhe, we’re gonna have to settle this with a bet or something because i am *not* bowing out of the race for karl’s spade but if we keep going we’re gonna accidentally fall in ashen! where there’s no butt touching at *ALL*!!
CG: AND HAVE YOU TWO CLOWNS GIVEN YOUR COMMUNAL BRAINCELL A WORKOUT AND ASKED YOURSELVES, “WHAT IF KARL DIDN’T WANT HIS BUTT T OKAY NO I CAN’T EVEN FINISH THIS ONE WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.
--
Anonymous asked: Homestuck AU: Jade/Karkat, Jade is a werewolf
-
The wolf that dragged him to safety and is now trying to brood him is big like a pony, and it growls and bares a double mile of teeth whenever he tries to move, so in the end Karkat just tries to appreciate that at least he’s warm, trapped as he is under thick fur and animal body warmth from the waist down.
When he wakes up, yesterday’s wounds still aching, he has a faceful of black fur that is actually a brown-skinned girl’s crazy long hair.
She’s so naked it takes him three minutes to recognize Jade Harley, Science Club president, best enemy for three years running and secret crush for half of those.
--
Anonymous asked: Karkat/Jade, humans-invade-Alternia AU?
-
Her eyes run up the length of the blood track again, bright human red splatters going from between her feet straight to the alien pressed against the rock face, staring at her powered armor and the rifle in her hands with furious despair.
He only has one blade on him — short, curved — and he still threatens her with it, right up until the blood loss gets to him and he crumples small and senseless on the rocks.
She thought she was racing to rescue one of hers; she’s got enough bandages to spare for a prisoner.