askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
askerian ([personal profile] askerian) wrote2011-10-08 08:40 pm

Teamwork crack/future discussion

So the last child of Team Seven I have in mind is Uchiha Yukito -- a boy, then, born when Sakura is about 45 or possibly even later... yes, she's menopausal by then, advanced medical jutsu FTW! The kid is born via artificial insemination, because even though Sakura carries him, genetically, apart from her mitochondrial DNA he really is a pure Sasuke/Naruto baby. (basically they found a way to empty one of her ovums from her own DNA and replace it with Naruto's. Or maybe Sasuke's. I haven't decided yet who wins the battle for "No, YOU get to be Yukito's biological mom!")

This is what I know about him:
For someone who is made in equal parts of Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto's genes, Yukito's mild, laid-back disposition is nothing short of confounding. Sometimes Sakura entertains herself with the thought that her last child is so easy-going out of sheer perverseness. No doubt he would have inherited it straight from her, somehow.

Yukito has grayish brown hair, and also the sharingan, but he'll never develop it farther than the second tomoe. He's content with being average. Everyone in his family is extreme in some way and it's all very tiring, really. D:

But anyway.

I was toying with the thought of a real threesome baby, though truly since a kid gets half and half from their parents it's a bit hard to have three parents, unless you pick and choose who gives which genes, and that would take CENTURIES. But maybe you could merge two sperm cells and get that one to fertilize the egg, and then the baby would be half Sakura and one fourth each Naruto and Sasuke. (no sharingan for that one.) But at her age, Sakura can't really afford to have more than one, very closely supervised pregnancy. Even that one wouldn't be great fpor her health, so two of them back to back would be too much.

.. Twins are hardly an easy pregnancy, but she figures they'd still tire her out less than two separate ones, especially ones as medically watched over. I'm just not sure which medical discovery would come first (the two father, no mother thing, or the two-fathers-merged-as-one, one mother.) Because the offer Sakura made was basically to let Sasuke and Naruto experience the one single bond they yet hadn't, which is all very selfless, but if they can make threesome babies... um.

Then again it might be easier to merge two sperm cells with medical jutsu and then use those than to do the ovum thing, so Sakura might mention it as a stepping stone on the way to the two-dads thing, and later they might suggest to use it as well, half as her "reward" for being so selfless, a kid who is more her than either of them, but also either of them, and half because omg threesome baby. Also, maximizing uchiha clan genetic diversity is always good.

But, I don't know. If they can do one, would they really do the other one. Both solutions make the other one a bit redundant.

Then again is there really a ceiling on happiness and empty nest syndrome. XD

But just in case, the threesome baby would be a girl called Kahen, which means petal, because Sakura's mom is Hana (flower) and Sakura is a specific type of flower, so she might as well go with part-of-flower for the third generation. (dunno what Kahen'd call her own kid, though. Chlorophyll cell? XD)

I have NO IDEA what her personality would be like, though. >___> I planned the other three around subverted Mary-Sue types to give myself a starting point (team seven children would veer close to Sue just by virtue of having the parents they have anyway), but I already have the FemmeFataleSue type and the PrettierAndBitchierThanYou!Uchiha type and the... well, first kid is still spoiler. What could I twist -- oh my god, a GothSue. XD ("Kahen? KAHEN??? MY NAME IS OOKAMI MOONRAVEN!!" pffff) okay um maybe not... Maybe not even a sue-type either.

Suggestions?


edit:
book_people: ...pffffahahahahaha
book_people: They'd be so perplexed if their child decided to become a goth
book_people: Sakura and Naruto would blame Sasuke, who would be like "I have never worn that much eyeliner, how is this my fault?"
book_people: But anyway, I like the idea of SasuNaru baby subverting the "any child whose biological parents were Sasuke and Naruto would be the most awesome ninja ever, and also a carbon copy of one of his parents personality-wise:
book_people: (please note: I was not implying that Sasuke wears eyeliner, because he does not)
book_people: (which is the point)
book_people: (do any of them even own eyeliner?)
askerian: LOL
askerian: sakura?
book_people: Mm.
book_people: Likely
book_people: Oh man, can you imagine her trying to get her parents to use her chosen goth name? How much you wanna bet Sasuke would pretend that he didn't hear the correction?
book_people: Sakura would do what my mom did when I decided I'd prefer to use my nickname: "But I like your name! I chose it for you! You don't like it? D: "
askerian: ahahaha XDDD
book_people: Okay, okay. I'm done, really.
book_people: ...oh god, would Naruto try to honor her request and use the name with a really pained look on his face?
askerian: naruto would totally call her by that name with great enthusiasm.
book_people: *dies laughing*

(blahblah spoilery list of other kids)

askerian: and then there's yukito who's pretty much shikamaru without the scary intellect -- he's smart, just not THAT smart -- and possibly gothy-chan. hmm.
book_people: and her family is all "I love you, but sometimes I want to kill you"?
askerian: yeah XD

book_people: So, Yukito becomes a ninja, but more or less doesn't care that he's never going to be higher than a chuunin at his best?
askerian: yeah, he's okay withthat
book_people: ...do his parents kind of have pained looks on their faces when he announces this?
askerian: especially since they're still in peace time
askerian: oh no, after XXXXXX they're just really happy he wants to be a ninja at all
book_people: XDDDD

(... more kids and parents stuff...)

book_people: I like that there's a real family dynamic amongst the kids and their parents. So many people flub that, I think. Families are never perfect, we all get along all the time utopias.
book_people: I even like the fact that Kahen may go through a "woe is me, the world is a horrible place and nobody understands me I will wear all black and change my name and moan about the lack of art in the world" phase. It's such a teenager thing to do, you know? Kind of implies that Team 7 are good parents, all told, if she feels comfortable enough to do it.
askerian: XD
askerian: yeah, very good point u.u
askerian: or maybe she could be a hime-sama type sue. XD
askerian: how to subvert that though...
book_people: mm
book_people: that's the trouble
askerian: annoying spoiled brat is already covered XD
book_people: well, she could try to be understanding of the world and instead come off as sort of condescending?
book_people: like, her way is the only way to live, and she knows best, and clearly you simply do not know the pleasures of such, allow her to "help" you for she is pure of heart and mind.
book_people: I dunno
askerian: eww. XD
askerian: gothy-chan is better for now XDD
askerian: it's likely just a phase, anyway, and she'll come out all well adjusted and stuff
askerian: and neither kitsune nor sharinganed. XD
book_people: ahha
book_people: good
book_people: I like gothy-chan better
book_people: problem with hime-sues is that they are always, always annoying
book_people: gothy-chan, on the other hand, is more or less a normal teenager going through a phase
askerian: yeah u.u
book_people: (although I may be voting for this just because "OOKAMI MOONRAVEN" is the most hilarious goth name ever)
askerian: XD
askerian: kyuubi: ........ you couldn't have gone with kitsune? 'che.
book_people: *dies*
askerian: then again by that point kyuubi and naruto aren't really separate
book_people: it would be funny if Naruto occasionally tries to make her use kitsune instead, on top of enthusiastically calling her Ookami Moonraven (the whole name, all the time)
book_people: and Sakura is all "stop it you're encouraging her"
askerian: XD
askerian: ... "Oh! Oh! Can I be kitsune feathersky??? :-D "
askerian: "... DAAAAAAAAAAD."
book_people: HAHAHAHA
askerian: "Feathersky RAMENSTAND."
book_people: *chokes*
askerian: "I'm cursing you with my book of shadows tonight, just so you know."
book_people: oh my god, I just snorted lettuce up my nose
askerian: XD sorry?
book_people: it's fine! totally worth it
book_people: "Ooh, you have one of those? Can I see?"
book_people: Sasuke, of course, is mostly pretending that none of this is happening.
book_people: He will later pretend that Kahen went from twelve to about 18 over-night
askerian: XDDDDDDDDD
askerian: one evening naruto would borrow her black nailpolish and put it on EVERYONE. even sasuke
askerian: sasuke wouldn't kill him, because naruto gives great head. >>
askerian: and when she comes home for dinner they'd all pretend like nothing happened
book_people: ahahahaha
askerian: with their black nails like their souls.
book_people: HAHAHAHA
book_people: and she's all like "...is that my nail polish?" "No. Pass the salad."
askerian: pfff
askerian: "Sasuke had a troubled youth."
sasuke: ...... *can't even say that's false*
book_people: oh my god *dying*
askerian: sasuke: i never did get to put on nailpolish. u.u;;
askerian: naruto: aww. There, there, now you can!
book_people: "This is why you have children!"
askerian: "... Kittycrow Eaglewing?"
Sasuke: .......................... >__> you owe me two now.
kids: two what?
sasuke: nothing you're interested in.
naruto: pfff, like you still have that kind of stamina.
book_people: oh dear god
askerian: kids: ................. DX DAD. FATHER. YOU'RE LIKE A HUNDRED YEAR OLD.
book_people: Naruto: "...how did you think you all came into existence?"
askerian: Sakura: The spirit is willing... thankfully, medical ninjutsu is great to support weakened flesh.
kids: AUUUUUUUUGH.
Sakura: More rice?
book_people: ♥♥♥♥
book_people: Naruto: "Whose flesh are you calling weakened?"
askerian: Yukito: ... I understand why you're taking her down in a HUGE BALL OF FIRE, seriously, but. collateral damage here?
Naruto: *pat pat* there, there. Take it like a man. See it as her revenge for her super pretty porcelain doll you broke.
Yukito: she's been taking revenge for that one for the last six years! DX
askerian: XDD
askerian: Naruto: And now you're going to be able to take revenge on her for the rest of her life. Ookami Moonraven~ What a prettiful name~
book_people: One day, she will realize how horribly ridiculous all of this was, and nobody will let her forget it. Except Sasuke, who as previously stated is pretending it never happened.
askerian: u.u~
book_people: I'll bet the porcelain doll was the start of her downward spiral into the darkest shadows of her black soul.
askerian: Her heart fractured like that doll head in a thousand slim shards! never to be reglued together again!
askerian: meanwhile the other three kids are SO GLAD they moved out already
book_people: She turned a piece of it into a necklace, so that she might always keep with her a reminder of the fragility of the human heart
askerian: u.u Also scratch decorative patterns on the back of her arm. But not too deep.
askerian: cause that shit hurts.
book_people: XD
book_people: ...oh lord, I think maybe her parents might actually have a serious word with her about that.
askerian: it'd all be very thin scratches that don't even break the skin. XD
askerian: like you rub some spit on it and it's all gone like magic
book_people: oh. Never mind, then. Not like she doesn't get worse every day in training
book_people: ...oh. Does she become a ninja?
book_people: She asks her parents for permission (and money) to get a really angsty haiku tattooed somewhere on her body. Sakura is all "...Honey, why don't you wait until--how old are you now? Fifteen?--why don't you wait until you're eighteen to start thinking about tattoos"
book_people: This, of course, is further proof that nobody understands the depth of her pain
askerian: i think she becomes a ninja too, but hey, it's peace time! it's boring XD

[identity profile] mika-kun.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not an expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure that the two dads no mom thing is more likely to be discovered first since I read an article discussing the theory behind it (also disscussed the theory behind two moms which might be easier since you'd already have an egg instead of needing a third donor). Merging two sperm into one sperm with only 23 chromosomes would actually be very difficult because you'd have to get rid of half of the genes (and exactly the right half to make sure you have one of each and not two 15ths and no 3rd or something), but emptying an ovum entirely is less difficult (we already know how to do that from cloning experiments with animals).

[identity profile] q99.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
I'd think what you'd do is you'd try the merge many times over, and then take the one that happened to work right.

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[identity profile] meanne77.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Tu... tu sais que ôter l'ADN d'un ovule pour en remplacer le matériel génétique puis le féconder ne marche pas, hein ? Des chercheurs ont déjà essayé (toutes les combinaisons possibles) et ça ne fonctionne pas. Il y a tout un mécanisme hyper complexe qui empêche ce genre de fécondation de se produire (mince mais déjà les FIV, ils sont obligés d'implanter pleins d'ovules et croiser les doigts pour que ça fonctionne, alors...). La Nature est bcp plus futée que nous, elle a pensé à tout ;)

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[identity profile] fateofshadow.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

This website is great for fanfic tropes, links for Sue types are below. Hope that helps you with Kahen. ^_~

[identity profile] water-soter.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 09:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I say a female version of Naruto with Sakura's temper and Sasuke's arrogance.

[identity profile] tanukyle.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
The first kid better be a boy I'm just sayin'.

Cause otherwise Estrogen.

ESTROGEN EVERYWHERE.

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[identity profile] tanukyle.livejournal.com - 2011-10-09 00:12 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] loveandallthat.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Holy I'm excited for all of these children. And I usually run and hide at the idea of characters that I know and love with children or as adults (if they aren't already, obviously) but the NaruSasuSaku still totally (potentially disgustingly, in a good way) in love with each other at all stages of their lives fills me with sugary glee. Any combination of Naruto and Sasuke having a kid without mpreg (not quite my thing, most of the time) is so exciting to me because it's such a bond and it would be a shame for them not to have that one when both boys have that with Sakura (although I suppose that they have a history/fighting/hatingbutloving each other bond that Sakura will never touch). All three of them having a child is like the ultimate in awesome bonding wonderfulness of course. I can see so many chances for awkward/sad questions by the kids of favoritism, and parents worrying that they're favoring their biological kids, and holy crap the potential for everything is... wow. Please keep writing this, like, forever.

Sorry for talking your figurative ear off.

[identity profile] sara-the-lazy.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
The two sperm in an empty ovum is the most likely thing to make sense... though there would still need to be mitochondria in the ovum because all mitochondrial DNA comes from mommy. That wouldn't be the same as having all 3 parents though, really - mitochondrial DNA doesn't matter that much (unless it's defective)

Anyway, I'm super excited for the kiddos!!! And your conversation with book_people was hilarious!

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[identity profile] mika-kun.livejournal.com - 2011-10-13 12:37 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] nemi-chan.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
If only Kakashi would get over himself, then there wouldn't be such a gosh darn problem with Threesome Baby--Foursome Baby is much easier.

(and it's totally your fault, even if you didn't mean it, that I ship Team 7 OT4--and OT7 now that I think about it.)

[identity profile] loveandallthat.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
Count me in for anything Team 7 OT4. Oh, the possibilities.

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[identity profile] nemi-chan.livejournal.com - 2011-10-09 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] q99.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
I love multiple-combination pregnancies ^^

In my OCs, I have a mother-mother pairing who have a daughter...

[identity profile] zerubel.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
Even though I no longer keep up with the naruto manga, I have decided that i much much much prefer your stories as my headcanon XD (also now i really wish i understood french, if only so I could understand when people comment on your LJ in french, because all your commenters are awesome/have awesome ideas/all of the above)
also, gothsue gothsue gothsue please! XD

[identity profile] joisbishmyoga.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
I vote that Goth-chan was a PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS when she was little, all sparkles and rainbows and frilly dolls, and then she decided (when the super special doll was broken) that she was going to flip the other way to EXPRESS HER PAIN and PROVE how she now UNDERSTANDS how MISGUIDED she was in her FOOLISH YOUTH... and oh my god, I just pictured Goth-chan being like a fashion/emo-instead-of-taijutsu Lee. THE ALLCAPS COMPEL YOU.

(Sasuke would twitch so hard if Goth-chan started spouting off about her foolish youth. Push the Itachi and Gai-n-Lee buttons at the same time. Short circuit brains everywhere!)

[identity profile] red-volpe.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
OH GOD. This is epic. I so want to see this now.
pff. What if (in his "I'm ignoring this" way) Sasuke kept getting her girly sparkly things? XD

[identity profile] jade-mushroom.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
In 2003 Japanese scientists were able transform stem cells from mice into sperm. In 2009 American scientists were able to transform stem cells into eggs. Viable offspring [in mice] have been created in the first method. None (so far) with the second, or at least, that I have read about.

In addition, surrogates who are completely unrelated to the fetus they care still do contribute to the development. Uterine conditions [hormones, nutrients, waste materials and drugs], and outside noises and disturbances still affect the developing child. Uterine conditions affect things such as dominant handedness, sexual orientation, and IQ just to name a few. Also a baby would respond more to her carrier's voice than her bio parents, due to having heard it more. Scent I believe as well [that bit I'm not 100% on].

Just some additional information to play with. I am by no means an expert, but I worked in an OB/GYN clinic and its attached fertility clinic for a year, and when I began university I was a voracious reader of things related to genetics and development. If you want me to pull the articles I can.

[identity profile] starr-bryte.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
...Wow...

...And then Sakura would try to do some research on Gothy-chan's interests and find out just how NOT GOOD cursing someone (much less Naruto) with a book of shadows is and then sit her daughter down and try to talk to her about performing SAFE WITCHCRAFT!!!

....BWUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA

[identity profile] lordryous.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
so, about the threesome kid. Obviously no Sharigan, but what about an occular Jutsu mutation. they say the Byakugon was derived from the Sharingon, what if the odd mix of Uzumaki + Uchiha + Haruno genes make something new and unique

(Anonymous) 2011-10-09 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeahs for children/babies. Oh they sound interesting. Yukito reminds me of Iruka somewhat. Smart but normal for the in general ninja world. Yukito sounds like hed be a good teacher or something too.

Gothy chan...:)

[identity profile] riicchan.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
alkjsdlfkjadsf can we have a nonstop conversation about genetics sometime? Seriously? I have had nothing but genetics on the mind for the past year on account of this fic I'm writing.

As for a pure threesome baby, there's nothing I can suggest that hasn't been already suggested by these lovely folks above me. But Kahen is quite a lovely name. I see her as the sort of person that's well-behaved in public but a very quiet brand of mischievous. Like, she'd be the sort of person to giggle to herself quietly and not own up to a prank set up by her.

[identity profile] loveandallthat.livejournal.com 2011-10-10 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
I could absolutely see Naruto and Sasuke being wonderful and "even though we don't have a child between just us (and would really, really like that) the ideal will always be all three of us so you should definitely do that one!" and Sakura like "okay, you're right!" and then getting their sperm, and being like "soooo Tsunade, I'm having twins, risks be damned! And one will be all three of ours and one will be a Naruto/Sasuke baby because I am selfless and I know they really, really want one!" Oh the love.

[identity profile] rot-chan.livejournal.com 2011-10-12 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
...dunno what Kahen'd call her own kid, though. Chlorophyll cell? XD

Lol...

Anyway, those are some interesting ideas... and I don't think they're at at all unrealistic. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised for such a thing to be possible in this century. To be honest bb, I have no fricking idea about biology or anything remotely scientific like this, so... I applaud you for coming up with this post I'D

Also, I love how you ended up making the SasuNaru/NaruSasu baby. So laid-back, relaxed, go with the flow... my god, if that's not irony I don't know WHAT is. Hahaha!
kitsune_das: (Going Mad)

[personal profile] kitsune_das 2011-10-15 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
*raises hand* As an adult goth, I twitched a lot at all the "GOTH CHILD!!!" being thrown around, and especially at the implications that being a goth is only a teenage phase and you have to grow out of it to be well-adjusted. :/ Probably not how you meant it, and I do realize and acknowledge that! But I twitched all the same.

Also, at the implication that goth = pagan. 'Cause it doesn't.

u.u;;;

While both "being goth" and "being pagan" are very trope-y teenage rebellious phases, neither one is necessarily a sign of maladjustment, and neither one is necessarily rebellion -- and neither are necessarily connected. I actually became pagan in my early youth simply because it made more sense to me than Christianity, and my parents were happily okay with it, so I never had to mark it as a "phase." And with the pretty much conspicuous absence of anything resembling Christianity in the Narutoverse, I don't see how pagan things (especially the anti-Christian fake-devil-worshippy kind) would come up as a common thread of rebelliousness in the Narutoverse. (This applies specifically to the Book of Shadows, "cursing" someone, and any iterations of thinks like ankhs, crucifixes, pentacles -- because where would those religious symbols have come from, really? We don't see anything like that in the current state or implied history of any other nations.)

If anything I could see her aspiring to be a Jashinist. >_>;

The teen-goth trope makes a lot of sense in OUR world, yeah, and being a goth applies most to three things: 1) taste in music, 2) taste in clothing, and 3) romanticizing death. There's a 4) that is fascination with the foreign or archaic (which is why many -- but certainly not all -- goths tend to be some kind of pagan or worship non-mainstream gods, i.e. Ancient Egyptian, Celtic, Greco-Roman, Norse, etc.), but that is less ubiquitous than 1-3. 1) is actually where the goth scene came from originally; 2) is how most people "recognize" other goths (though the outsider could be very incorrect in both directions -- the person in question could look like one but not be one, or be one but not look like one); 3) is arguably what "defines" one as a goth. You can dress all in black and what-have-you and just be playing dress-up, or be a punk; you can like the music but be otherwise a "normal"; but if you're a goth, it's because you have a love for the spooky. Death is romantic. Cartoonized skulls are cute. Bats are fascinating and beautiful. A flock of ravens is mournful and romantic.

I think what annoyed me most is calling "Ookami MoonRaven" a "goth" name. That would tend to be more of a bratty pagan name. A "goth" name would be something closer to, say, "Lady MoonRaven," or "Mistress MoonRaven," say. Wolves are pretty much unequivocally pagan symbols, whereas unless they're rabid and slavering and painting beneath a dead tree in a graveyard on a full moon night, goths don't have as much fascination with them.

..../2cents >_>;;

Again, not trying to bash, and I'm certain you meant nothing offensive. ^^ It's just. People who are not part of either the goth subculture or a pagan religion tend to be unknowingly ignorant of the differences, so I'm trying to educate from an in-the-thick standpoint. ^_^
kitsune_das: (Avatar State)

[personal profile] kitsune_das 2011-10-15 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, one more thing I hinted toward but forgot to mention: while I like the use of the goth trope, I'm not sure how it would come up in the Narutoverse? It's not something we really see among any of the kids in Kishi's rolled-out universe, so I'm not sure "goths" would exist in the same form and fashion in the Narutoverse. Maybe a romanticizing of death would lean more toward the bijuu as symbols, rather than ravens and skulls...? Since they're pretty much harbingers of destruction as far as they go without being jinchuuriki, from what we've seen. Or she could lean toward "old" ninja garb and romanticize the archaic form of that, and her dress might look more like real-world ninja? That would be a twist.

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(Anonymous) - 2011-11-04 18:25 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
If Kahen-chan had a love for dark nail polish and a penchant for brooding she would come across as sort of like her uncle. That would defiantly make Sasuke twitchy. Especially since Itachi is not so much a good guy pretending to be evil in your fic, but a genuinely bad sorta guy. The whole three DNA in one kid would become very Kamaitachi-esque as well...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamaitachi

Whatever you choose to do with the Teamwork!kids I'm sure it will be great. Your writing skills are just that good :)