Life and Times of Teh Asuka

"Wakey, wakey, Lord Lazybones the Sleeps-A-Lot!"

Dave comes to already knowing he doesn't want to move. He has it confirmed when he bats his eyes open and his cheekbone twinges, and then again when he tries to lift a hand to push John off him. The jerk is looming over him and grinning with far too many teeth for this hour of the -- oh hey, it's noon.

Dave lets his arm flop down on the mattress. Yeah, abort this shit, all his muscles went so crazy tense yesterday to keep from being strangled and smothered, he's sore even in the places he didn't get hit. He is going right back to sleep.

"G'off, Egbutt," he grumbles, "this princess don't need kissed."

John chuckles and leans closer in. "What pretty eyes you have, your majesty."

Wh -- fuck, where are his shades. He forces his protesting arm to feel around for the nightstand, finds it, doesn't find his shades...

... Ooooh, hell. He slumps back, tries to merge with the bed, eyes scrunching closed. He was home yesterday, he wasn't wearing them.

Thank fuck for that, because wearing them at night on that roof might have gotten him killed for real.

"Davey-poo~"

Dave cracks an eye open to glare. John and his giant teeth are about two inches from his face.

It's pretty hard to miss the way his expression goes from teasing to a mild, baffled quirk of the brow.

"Dave? Look at me, buddy?"

Aw, fuck. ( Read more... )

TOTAL: 23 442

Mneh. Okay, considering the week of vacation with shitty or no internet at all and the HELLO BABY NEPHEW in the middle... >_>

(by the way i'm an aunt did i tell you guys because yeah that is a thing that i am now.)

POSTED
-Girl Genius - Nuée Ardente (OC/OC, 8 chapters, complete) (6 504 words)
-DCKM - Swingersverse - Shin/Heiji/Kai porn (957 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin/Veli luminescence almostporn (308 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin, Veli and children (1 670 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Veli and Anton (662 words)
-Nuée Ardente - jaegers and cockatrices (1 846 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin meets Agatha and Dimo (3 194 words)

WORK IN PROGRESS
-Crash Standing chapter I forget, 16? (3 155 words)
-Battlefield Terra chapter 9 (3 405 words)
-Demon Patrol chapter, uh, 24? 25? (1 517 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin, Veli and children (133 words, abandoned attempt)
-sunlightverse: karkat vs mindfang fic (90 words orz)

( teasers thataway )

Kudo had called ahead to say he'd bring along a case, so when the train pulled into the station Heiji was already sort of excited. Something big enough that Kudo would rather not handle it alone? Sounded several kinds of awesome. Potentially horrifying, but also awesome. (Kazuha told him that having thoughts like that was the sign of a bad person. He didn't get what she was on about.)

He saw Kudo step off the train -- blue jeans, white shirt, black cap -- and jogged his way through the crowd, already grinning. "Oi, Kudo!"

"Hattori!" Kudo called back, and stood waiting for him with his suitcase at his feet as people rushed all around. He looked happy to be here, too, in his restrained, no-this-is-sarcasm-not-happiness-I-swear way. Heiji was kind of tempted to kiss him, a great loud 'oh, you' smack right there in public.

"Hey, Kudo."

Kudo rolled his eyes, and parroted obligingly, "Hey, Hattori."

"Hey, Hattori, been a while."

Heiji waved his hand. "Yeah, hi t' ya too, Ku--"

... What.

He was vaguely aware that the Kudo in front of him was cracking up.

The Kudo standing to the side was merely grinning wide enough to make him wish he would, and get it over with.( Read more... )

Their luck held all evening, and all night, and into the morning. They drove in shifts -- Sorin had found it preferable to be asleep in the back when Velimir drove, for all that the jerk had complained about his driving, but it did help that he could see a little better in the dark than Sorin did.

It was about ten on a drizzly, quiet morning and the lava engine was thrumming along nicely with Velimir's snoring when they ran into the blockade.

( Read more... )

The porn chapter woo. half of this chapter is not porn if you guys don't like porn, stop reading when they start kissing or something. yep.

------
By the middle of the afternoon Sorin's seat had started feeling a bit too warm to be natural under him; Velimir was squirming and grunting with displeasure in his sleep. Considering the seats were solid wood, that was a bit worrisome. Sorin eyed the needles and quadrants but none of them told him anything he understood.

Maybe it needed to cool down. Or be refueled. Or both. The trees were tall and dark in this valley, so he found a flattish place between the trees he thought they could fit through and swerved the transport until they were well out of sight of the road. (He only crushed one bush, so hopefully it wouldn't be too noticeable.) Then he parked and nudged the Jäger awake.

Velimir jerked upright so fast he knocked his head into the door frame. Sorin winced.

"Did you just seriously make your concussion worse?"

"Oof. Mebbe." He squinted through the window. "Ve stopped?"

( Read more... )

The inn's cheapest room wasn't any better than its price suggested -- narrow bed, very little space around, and under the roof to boot, so that he had to walk a bit stooped or risk banging his head again. It didn't matter, since he would be using this room for sleep and not much more, and it wasn't like he had to share it with anyone.

Much less a Jäger on goat-like stilts.

He dropped his satchel on the wobbly desk wedged under the skylight, sat on the bed. He was glad when it groaned; it was too quiet in here.

He still had a hard time believing it was over.

( Read more... )

The sky was beginning to light up with predawn when they stopped running.

Sorin had never been out of Vulkanburg's walls at night, never off the paved, patrolled roads even during the day. The pine woods were dark and full of hooting calls, whispery noises, the grating pings and thuds of a wild automated clank falling to rust and still roaming.

But it was fine, wasn't it, because he traveled with the biggest monster of all.

It was fine, wasn't it...

"Hoy."

Oh. Huh. Sorin was on the ground. Sorin was on his knees. It was all over pine needles under him. Almost soft. He looked up and the Jägermonster was staring down at him, head tilted a little like it was weird that after a night like this someone would need to... wouldn't...

"I'm stopping here," he informed him.

"Hokay! Hy carry hyu."

"Um, no thank you?" His voice broke. The Jäger paused briefly in the middle of leaning in. "I think, uh. If your shoulder and my tools interact anymore with my ribs, they'll break." Nope, still leaning in. "And -- and you're not --"

"Right den." Sorin was whisked up. "De princess carry for hyu."

Oh good lords of the abyss.

So many teeth. So close.

( Read more... )

TOTAL: 41 437 HOLY FUCK

Granted the bulk of it is for a single fic in the Girl Genius fandom and not anything most of y'all will want to read, but. XD whoa, nice wordcount, self, you rule. it feels so good writing regularly once again guys ;__;

POSTED:
-not-even-a-drabble dave/terezi dragon/knight cute (82 words)
haha ha ha aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh orz

just have it here never mind linking it:

"So you’re not the type that changes to a handsome human from a fair damsel’s kiss, huh,” Terezi said, hands cupping a long scaly muzzle.

"Where do you see a fair damsel," the dragon droned back, and flicked his long forked tongue at her fingers. "Oh right, you can’t see shit, I guess that explains it."

"It’s okay, Dave, you will always be a pretty princess in my heart," the knight said soothingly, and flicked her much-shorter tongue right back at his.


WIP:
-Crash Standing chapter uhhhhh 15? 16? (345 words orz)
-Homestuck: Demon Patrol (756 words)
-Homestuck: arranged marriage davekat fic: Lil Hal sequel (1 328 words)
-untitled Girl Genius OC-centric fic, chapters 1 to 6 (38 775 words BOOYAH)
-first attempt at GG fic, abandoned (151 words)

( teasers )

It's not a bad explosion, as those things get. Blows the shit out of his hinges, and makes the decorative door panels shudder and fall out of alignment like a linebacker rammed them, but it's a foot that finishes the job of knocking the door down.

His gun is -- stupidly -- all the way downstairs in the gun safe by the door. It's out of reach the second the first man rushes through -- a huge wall of a man, square and meaty -- and then the second man comes in on his heels and Dave gives it up for lost.

Under him on the main floor Karkat starts snarling, steps forward to meet the threat, but there's a machine gun in the first man's hands and Dave can see nothing but the confettied mess it would make of his non-shelled face.

"Get out of here!" he yells, and shoves the half-open windowpane out of his way and swings himself out and onto the ancient straight ladder bolted to the outside wall.

Two men on the fire escape's last landing, just under him; he hears glass breaking. One of them looks up, gun up --

Aradia rushes through him with barely a thought; the gun jams, trigger frozen in time. Dave beats Olympic records of ladder-climbing.

( Read more... )