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Entry tags:
monthly word count - august
TOTAL: 23 442
Mneh. Okay, considering the week of vacation with shitty or no internet at all and the HELLO BABY NEPHEW in the middle... >_>
(by the way i'm an aunt did i tell you guys because yeah that is a thing that i am now.)
POSTED
-Girl Genius - Nuée Ardente (OC/OC, 8 chapters, complete) (6 504 words)
-DCKM - Swingersverse - Shin/Heiji/Kai porn (957 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin/Veli luminescence almostporn (308 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin, Veli and children (1 670 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Veli and Anton (662 words)
-Nuée Ardente - jaegers and cockatrices (1 846 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin meets Agatha and Dimo (3 194 words)
WORK IN PROGRESS
-Crash Standing chapter I forget, 16? (3 155 words)
-Battlefield Terra chapter 9 (3 405 words)
-Demon Patrol chapter, uh, 24? 25? (1 517 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin, Veli and children (133 words, abandoned attempt)
-sunlightverse: karkat vs mindfang fic (90 words orz)
--
Crash Standing
--
"Whatchu guys talking about now?" Dave asks, nudging in between you in a totally subtle and friendly way.
You lift your shades off your nose so he can see your eyes, because damn but he makes it easy. "Incest. You wanna cuddle?"
Dave shoves at you, but a bit awkward, like he doesn't want to touch your maimed side's shoulder. Dude, the missing area starts like at least three inches lower than that, and anyway it's not like the scar tissue is still all that sensitive. You shoulder-check him right back, to demonstrate.
Karkat rolls his eyes at you. Ouch. Pff.
TG: its not my fault he thinks my lopsidedness might be contagious
TG: instead of thinking of it like im the venus of motherfucking milo only a dude and not made of stone
TG: i mean who the fuck would remember the venus of milo if she had all her bits still attached huh
TG: shed just be some stone broad shaking her bare rock titties like a million other greecian toga party chicks
TG: wow did they know how to have fun in those times
CG: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE BLATHERING ON ABOUT, YOU REALIZE.
CG: NOT THAT THIS IS A BIG CHANGE FROM ANY OTHER CONVERSATION WITH YOU STRIDERS, I GUESS.
TG: youre no fun
TG: shes some olden statue thats missing like her arms and stuff and is super well known somehow
CG: THANK HEAVENS! ANOTHER DRIBBLE OF USELESS HUMAN POP CULTURE. I AM SAVED FROM A LIFE OF BLISSFUL IGNORANCE BY THIS POINTLESS CRUMB OF INFORMATION.
TG: pff
CG: I AM SURE WHEN THE LEGISLACERATORS COME FOR ME AND MINE I CAN TURN THEM AT THE GATE BY PROVING THAT MY SKIN MIGHT BE GRAY AND THE YELLOW OF MY EYES DEMONSTRABLY NOT WHITE BUT NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY GATHER SO MANY CRUSTY DREGS OF ACTUAL CULTURE WHO IS NOT, IN FACT, A HUMAN.
CG: EXECUTION CANCELED FOR CAUSE OF KNOWING THAT ROSEBUD WAS HIS FUCKING SLED.
CG: DAVE ALREADY DID THE OBVIOUS HIS ROSEBUD FUCKED A SLED JOKE, BY THE WAY, NO NEED FOR A REPEAT.
TG: thanks for warning me
TG: echoing his jokes would be the height of uncool
TG: did he make the slay'd one tho
CG: WHY ARE WE SUBTLY MEANDERING TOWARD ANAL SEX.
CG: I MEAN *TALKING* ABOUT ANAL SEX.
Oh god. Oh dear lord. He's gone all pink. He turns a bit to hide his face, all look I'm watching so they don't steal our horizon here so stfu. His ears are pink, the bridge of his nose is pink, it's fucking adorable.
--
Battlefield Terra
--
Jake was wrong, though; he was not out of sorts. It was just weird, was all, to drift through the house alone and pointless while everyone else was out doing their own thing, and it was boring to know he had nothing to get ready for, not really. He'd been in a space battle two days ago, finally, just in time to basically be told 'haha! and now you go right back to being grounded indefinitely.'
Yeah. Boredom and pointlessness. That was all. ... That was plenty!
"What do you think, cat? Should I, like, catch up on my reading...? Hah. No. Movie? I haven't watched a movie since -- in like two months..."
Sitting around passively staring at a screen sounded like a good way for him to end up throwing things and shouting for no reason. Bluuuurghh.
... Training?
JH: broooooooooo can i come and train with you?
BR: Huh. You wake up with a taste for pain today?
JH: i woke up with a taste of if i don't do something i will explode.
JH: i am your masochistic whipping boy today. whip me into shape oh my god please.
JH: bro?
JH: mr strideeeeeeeeeeer, siiiiiiiiiiiiiiir :((((
BR: No. Stop. Cease. Refrain. Desist.
BR: This is the most fucking wrong discussion I have ever had with you and we're barely six lines in.
JH: what did i say?? like it's even a secret you live to torture us!
BR: Yeeeeah, I'm forwarding this convo to Dirk. If he sees your face and starts laughing so hard he needs to curl up in a corner and hide, here's your clue as to why.
JH: okay, it really isn't cool of you not to explain.
BR: If I explain your pater will somehow find out and hunt me down with murder aforethought.
JH: ...
JH: did it sound like i was coming on to you or
JH: oh my god YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!!
JH: you're kind of an asshole, you know.
BR: It's only fitting revenge for the *oh dear lord wrong no stop* you just inflicted on me.
JH: you'd have to be a real perv to take SM jokes as actual come ons, i mean, seriously!
BR: I swear if you make me bite my tongue any harder I will deserve to be nominated for sainthood.
BR: Considering what I'm biting my tongue on, that's really saying something.
John spluttered. The cat side-eyed him.
BR: Change of topic. Nothing to do?
BR: Karkat's packages just got here. Come down to the front door and get them, will you?
Oh thank God, something to do. John jumped to his feet and power-walked to the door.
JH: will do!!
JH: why can't you bring them up, though?
BR: Deliveryman's an assturd.
BR: I distract him, you snatch up the shit and run.
JH: pff. sure thing.
When John got to the last landing he wasn't sure if he was very surprised to see Bro standing in the doorway, a shoulder casually pressed against the frame, blocking Jack Noir's way in, in case he would have wanted to come in for some reason.
There were indeed packages on the front step, but they were between the two men. John wasn't too sure how literally he should take the order to grab them and run.
"Morning, kid. Where's your other half?"
"He's still in bed," John grumped as he made his way to the door. "--And stop making it sound like we're married, okay, it's a really lame joke, Dave was making it three weeks back already, you should be ashamed."
Noir was staring at him weird. John frowned back.
"What?"
"Nothing. What are you doing here?"
John shrugged. "Taking Karkat's things up to him? What are you still doing here, do you need a signature on delivery or what?"
"Careful with that mouth, kid," the man retorted, eyes narrowing in lazy threat.
John snorted quietly and leaned out of the door to pick up the packages. One of them was taller than he was, narrow and flat -- not heavy at all, but awkward to juggle with the rest.
"Tell Karkat to bring me any bugs he finds in there, yeah?" Bro said, thumbs tucked negligently in his pockets and still staring at Noir through his shades.
"We scanned for that shit already," Noir replied, annoyed.
"Yeah, for everything except the ones you put in yourself, innit?"
They were barely paying him any attention. John wondered if they'd start fighting the second he left, and then wondered if he really wanted or needed to stop it. They were grown men and professionals, if they wanted to beat each other up on their off time he was sure it wouldn't get to the point either of them needed a hospital.
He had the feeling it had been brewing for a while, at any rate. If he stayed to cockblock them fighting he'd probably only delay it.
--
Demon Patrol
--
"Jade, it's an emergency," he says as he limps into the kitchen. "Karkat won't fistbump me for cause of pus."
She levels a long stare at him over her coffee cup, and then heaves a dramatic sigh and eyeroll and gestures him to the chair next to her.
"Good morning to you too, partner! My, it is nice to see you!" she chirps as she turns to face him.
"Yeah, yeah. Ow."
An impression of long dark hair is already starting to wave with underwater currents that don't even exist. It's not even her own hair, he can see it falling down in its normal mess of gravity-prone tangles when he squints, but the illusion is strong enough that it looks like it.
"Feferi is telling me she wants a mantis shrimp," she says, absently but smiling. "Which, I really don't know how we'd keep it contained, but she says it's fitting because Karkat."
Dave blinks. "... Mantis shrimp." Aren't those the ones with the sonic punch? "Yeah, okay, I can see it. Karkat's not the one who's hurt, though."
"... Then some kind of white fish, she says. Blind cave fish? Honey, I don't know where I'd even find one. Also Dave isn't even blind. How about one of those fighting fish with the long froofy fins -- okay, good. Hang on."
The last bit was for him, Dave can tell. He gives the smallest nod he can and holds out his hand. (It's kind of crazy all the muscles involved in just lifting his hand. He can trace the weave of them up to his neck and shoulder blade and spine just from the pain twanging through them.)
"Good news, it's all just muscle strain and scrapes and bruises. Hurts like hell, but easy enough to fix."
For a moment when she heals him it's almost like an afterglow, his body so relieved of pain it feels like pleasure instead. He's used enough to the effect not to embarrass himself, at least. It fades in a few seconds; he checks his knuckles, flexes his arms, straightens his back.
"Oh thank fuck. I live. I liiiiive."
Jade snickers and shoves a sandwich at him along the table. He scarfs it down in a second, only to pause guiltily. "Um, Karkat, are you hungr--"
"Phone's ringing," Karkat says, and takes off at a gallop. Dave strains, and hears it muffled from upstairs. Whoops, they did leave everything in the bedroom, didn't they.
He's coming back a bit slower, claws going thump-thumpclick on the stairs one by one; Dave leans out of the door (without pain!) to watch him get down sideways on his hind legs, back hunched awkwardly, the phone pressed to his ear.
"I'm getting there, doucheprince, hold your metaphorical douchehorses. I'd like to see you operating staircases with my design--"
He turns at the foot of the stairs and sees Dave just as he drops on his usual four-legged stance
"... It was just yours," Karkat says, and hops to Dave and drops the phone on Dave's lap.
Uh huh. They don't have even vaguely similar ringtones. Dave smiles a little bit.
Jade's eyebrows are up but Dave doesn't have time to ask her what it was about. He picks up the phone, checks the display. Oh.
"Hey, Dirk."
"Dave." A brief pause that is completely not relief. Dave isn't relieved at all either. Nah. It's not their thing. "Status?"
"Remade anew. Jade is a goddess. I have the best partner ever, fight me."
She snorts and rolls her eyes, but he can see her smiling too.
"How about you guys? Any wounds I should know about?"
"We were fine," Dirk says. Dave isn't too sure he believes that, considering the force those assholes used on him and Karkat.
"Oh, really? Considering everything they threw at us, I'm kinda surprised to hear that. I fail at detectiving. Also at kicking ass. An embarrassment to the Strider name, you might say."
Dirk snorts. "Dave, my apartment is like Fort Knox, except not centuries out of date."
"Or they just didn't try as hard."
He expects a snappy comeback, but instead he gets a long pause.
"Dirk?"
"... Could be. Could be that they could tell early on they wouldn't be getting in, so they didn't bother trying any harder..."
"Could be you were the distraction," Kankri says from the doorway in a clear, carrying voice that goes thought to Dirk just fine. Dave can tell. Brother intuition.
"I didn't want to say, but," he adds into the phone. Dirk makes an annoyed noise.
Mneh. Okay, considering the week of vacation with shitty or no internet at all and the HELLO BABY NEPHEW in the middle... >_>
(by the way i'm an aunt did i tell you guys because yeah that is a thing that i am now.)
POSTED
-Girl Genius - Nuée Ardente (OC/OC, 8 chapters, complete) (6 504 words)
-DCKM - Swingersverse - Shin/Heiji/Kai porn (957 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin/Veli luminescence almostporn (308 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin, Veli and children (1 670 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Veli and Anton (662 words)
-Nuée Ardente - jaegers and cockatrices (1 846 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin meets Agatha and Dimo (3 194 words)
WORK IN PROGRESS
-Crash Standing chapter I forget, 16? (3 155 words)
-Battlefield Terra chapter 9 (3 405 words)
-Demon Patrol chapter, uh, 24? 25? (1 517 words)
-Nuée Ardente - Sorin, Veli and children (133 words, abandoned attempt)
-sunlightverse: karkat vs mindfang fic (90 words orz)
--
Crash Standing
--
"Whatchu guys talking about now?" Dave asks, nudging in between you in a totally subtle and friendly way.
You lift your shades off your nose so he can see your eyes, because damn but he makes it easy. "Incest. You wanna cuddle?"
Dave shoves at you, but a bit awkward, like he doesn't want to touch your maimed side's shoulder. Dude, the missing area starts like at least three inches lower than that, and anyway it's not like the scar tissue is still all that sensitive. You shoulder-check him right back, to demonstrate.
Karkat rolls his eyes at you. Ouch. Pff.
TG: its not my fault he thinks my lopsidedness might be contagious
TG: instead of thinking of it like im the venus of motherfucking milo only a dude and not made of stone
TG: i mean who the fuck would remember the venus of milo if she had all her bits still attached huh
TG: shed just be some stone broad shaking her bare rock titties like a million other greecian toga party chicks
TG: wow did they know how to have fun in those times
CG: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE BLATHERING ON ABOUT, YOU REALIZE.
CG: NOT THAT THIS IS A BIG CHANGE FROM ANY OTHER CONVERSATION WITH YOU STRIDERS, I GUESS.
TG: youre no fun
TG: shes some olden statue thats missing like her arms and stuff and is super well known somehow
CG: THANK HEAVENS! ANOTHER DRIBBLE OF USELESS HUMAN POP CULTURE. I AM SAVED FROM A LIFE OF BLISSFUL IGNORANCE BY THIS POINTLESS CRUMB OF INFORMATION.
TG: pff
CG: I AM SURE WHEN THE LEGISLACERATORS COME FOR ME AND MINE I CAN TURN THEM AT THE GATE BY PROVING THAT MY SKIN MIGHT BE GRAY AND THE YELLOW OF MY EYES DEMONSTRABLY NOT WHITE BUT NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY GATHER SO MANY CRUSTY DREGS OF ACTUAL CULTURE WHO IS NOT, IN FACT, A HUMAN.
CG: EXECUTION CANCELED FOR CAUSE OF KNOWING THAT ROSEBUD WAS HIS FUCKING SLED.
CG: DAVE ALREADY DID THE OBVIOUS HIS ROSEBUD FUCKED A SLED JOKE, BY THE WAY, NO NEED FOR A REPEAT.
TG: thanks for warning me
TG: echoing his jokes would be the height of uncool
TG: did he make the slay'd one tho
CG: WHY ARE WE SUBTLY MEANDERING TOWARD ANAL SEX.
CG: I MEAN *TALKING* ABOUT ANAL SEX.
Oh god. Oh dear lord. He's gone all pink. He turns a bit to hide his face, all look I'm watching so they don't steal our horizon here so stfu. His ears are pink, the bridge of his nose is pink, it's fucking adorable.
--
Battlefield Terra
--
Jake was wrong, though; he was not out of sorts. It was just weird, was all, to drift through the house alone and pointless while everyone else was out doing their own thing, and it was boring to know he had nothing to get ready for, not really. He'd been in a space battle two days ago, finally, just in time to basically be told 'haha! and now you go right back to being grounded indefinitely.'
Yeah. Boredom and pointlessness. That was all. ... That was plenty!
"What do you think, cat? Should I, like, catch up on my reading...? Hah. No. Movie? I haven't watched a movie since -- in like two months..."
Sitting around passively staring at a screen sounded like a good way for him to end up throwing things and shouting for no reason. Bluuuurghh.
... Training?
JH: broooooooooo can i come and train with you?
BR: Huh. You wake up with a taste for pain today?
JH: i woke up with a taste of if i don't do something i will explode.
JH: i am your masochistic whipping boy today. whip me into shape oh my god please.
JH: bro?
JH: mr strideeeeeeeeeeer, siiiiiiiiiiiiiiir :((((
BR: No. Stop. Cease. Refrain. Desist.
BR: This is the most fucking wrong discussion I have ever had with you and we're barely six lines in.
JH: what did i say?? like it's even a secret you live to torture us!
BR: Yeeeeah, I'm forwarding this convo to Dirk. If he sees your face and starts laughing so hard he needs to curl up in a corner and hide, here's your clue as to why.
JH: okay, it really isn't cool of you not to explain.
BR: If I explain your pater will somehow find out and hunt me down with murder aforethought.
JH: ...
JH: did it sound like i was coming on to you or
JH: oh my god YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!!
JH: you're kind of an asshole, you know.
BR: It's only fitting revenge for the *oh dear lord wrong no stop* you just inflicted on me.
JH: you'd have to be a real perv to take SM jokes as actual come ons, i mean, seriously!
BR: I swear if you make me bite my tongue any harder I will deserve to be nominated for sainthood.
BR: Considering what I'm biting my tongue on, that's really saying something.
John spluttered. The cat side-eyed him.
BR: Change of topic. Nothing to do?
BR: Karkat's packages just got here. Come down to the front door and get them, will you?
Oh thank God, something to do. John jumped to his feet and power-walked to the door.
JH: will do!!
JH: why can't you bring them up, though?
BR: Deliveryman's an assturd.
BR: I distract him, you snatch up the shit and run.
JH: pff. sure thing.
When John got to the last landing he wasn't sure if he was very surprised to see Bro standing in the doorway, a shoulder casually pressed against the frame, blocking Jack Noir's way in, in case he would have wanted to come in for some reason.
There were indeed packages on the front step, but they were between the two men. John wasn't too sure how literally he should take the order to grab them and run.
"Morning, kid. Where's your other half?"
"He's still in bed," John grumped as he made his way to the door. "--And stop making it sound like we're married, okay, it's a really lame joke, Dave was making it three weeks back already, you should be ashamed."
Noir was staring at him weird. John frowned back.
"What?"
"Nothing. What are you doing here?"
John shrugged. "Taking Karkat's things up to him? What are you still doing here, do you need a signature on delivery or what?"
"Careful with that mouth, kid," the man retorted, eyes narrowing in lazy threat.
John snorted quietly and leaned out of the door to pick up the packages. One of them was taller than he was, narrow and flat -- not heavy at all, but awkward to juggle with the rest.
"Tell Karkat to bring me any bugs he finds in there, yeah?" Bro said, thumbs tucked negligently in his pockets and still staring at Noir through his shades.
"We scanned for that shit already," Noir replied, annoyed.
"Yeah, for everything except the ones you put in yourself, innit?"
They were barely paying him any attention. John wondered if they'd start fighting the second he left, and then wondered if he really wanted or needed to stop it. They were grown men and professionals, if they wanted to beat each other up on their off time he was sure it wouldn't get to the point either of them needed a hospital.
He had the feeling it had been brewing for a while, at any rate. If he stayed to cockblock them fighting he'd probably only delay it.
--
Demon Patrol
--
"Jade, it's an emergency," he says as he limps into the kitchen. "Karkat won't fistbump me for cause of pus."
She levels a long stare at him over her coffee cup, and then heaves a dramatic sigh and eyeroll and gestures him to the chair next to her.
"Good morning to you too, partner! My, it is nice to see you!" she chirps as she turns to face him.
"Yeah, yeah. Ow."
An impression of long dark hair is already starting to wave with underwater currents that don't even exist. It's not even her own hair, he can see it falling down in its normal mess of gravity-prone tangles when he squints, but the illusion is strong enough that it looks like it.
"Feferi is telling me she wants a mantis shrimp," she says, absently but smiling. "Which, I really don't know how we'd keep it contained, but she says it's fitting because Karkat."
Dave blinks. "... Mantis shrimp." Aren't those the ones with the sonic punch? "Yeah, okay, I can see it. Karkat's not the one who's hurt, though."
"... Then some kind of white fish, she says. Blind cave fish? Honey, I don't know where I'd even find one. Also Dave isn't even blind. How about one of those fighting fish with the long froofy fins -- okay, good. Hang on."
The last bit was for him, Dave can tell. He gives the smallest nod he can and holds out his hand. (It's kind of crazy all the muscles involved in just lifting his hand. He can trace the weave of them up to his neck and shoulder blade and spine just from the pain twanging through them.)
"Good news, it's all just muscle strain and scrapes and bruises. Hurts like hell, but easy enough to fix."
For a moment when she heals him it's almost like an afterglow, his body so relieved of pain it feels like pleasure instead. He's used enough to the effect not to embarrass himself, at least. It fades in a few seconds; he checks his knuckles, flexes his arms, straightens his back.
"Oh thank fuck. I live. I liiiiive."
Jade snickers and shoves a sandwich at him along the table. He scarfs it down in a second, only to pause guiltily. "Um, Karkat, are you hungr--"
"Phone's ringing," Karkat says, and takes off at a gallop. Dave strains, and hears it muffled from upstairs. Whoops, they did leave everything in the bedroom, didn't they.
He's coming back a bit slower, claws going thump-thumpclick on the stairs one by one; Dave leans out of the door (without pain!) to watch him get down sideways on his hind legs, back hunched awkwardly, the phone pressed to his ear.
"I'm getting there, doucheprince, hold your metaphorical douchehorses. I'd like to see you operating staircases with my design--"
He turns at the foot of the stairs and sees Dave just as he drops on his usual four-legged stance
"... It was just yours," Karkat says, and hops to Dave and drops the phone on Dave's lap.
Uh huh. They don't have even vaguely similar ringtones. Dave smiles a little bit.
Jade's eyebrows are up but Dave doesn't have time to ask her what it was about. He picks up the phone, checks the display. Oh.
"Hey, Dirk."
"Dave." A brief pause that is completely not relief. Dave isn't relieved at all either. Nah. It's not their thing. "Status?"
"Remade anew. Jade is a goddess. I have the best partner ever, fight me."
She snorts and rolls her eyes, but he can see her smiling too.
"How about you guys? Any wounds I should know about?"
"We were fine," Dirk says. Dave isn't too sure he believes that, considering the force those assholes used on him and Karkat.
"Oh, really? Considering everything they threw at us, I'm kinda surprised to hear that. I fail at detectiving. Also at kicking ass. An embarrassment to the Strider name, you might say."
Dirk snorts. "Dave, my apartment is like Fort Knox, except not centuries out of date."
"Or they just didn't try as hard."
He expects a snappy comeback, but instead he gets a long pause.
"Dirk?"
"... Could be. Could be that they could tell early on they wouldn't be getting in, so they didn't bother trying any harder..."
"Could be you were the distraction," Kankri says from the doorway in a clear, carrying voice that goes thought to Dirk just fine. Dave can tell. Brother intuition.
"I didn't want to say, but," he adds into the phone. Dirk makes an annoyed noise.