Life and Times of Teh Asuka

Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

*eyes fic*

... Eh, I've written pornier.

I'm sure. Somewhere.

novidactyl asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair♥) 2.Flush 3.Pornstar AU w/ smuppets for Bro's website (humanstuck or normal species are both fantastic)
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"And really, in the digital age, with shit like tumblr and reddit around, what's going to touch the most people, boring long-ass sermons, or streaming free porn clips that fuck with hemocastist expectations and contain gleeful and unapologetic quadrant-smearing?"

On the other side of his bed, unzipping his pants, Signless laughed quietly. "Bro, I've already agreed to film this movie with you."

Bro shrugged, nodded, kept ogling. The guy's pants would be hilarious if he didn't fill them so well. Bro was also a fan of the zipper being placed on the side, from under the arm to the hip; the way it unveiled him as the cloth fell away was especially interesting.

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WHO WANTS NINETEEN PAGES OF SOLLUXNESS.

Last time I ever write that asshole. By the way. This thing was supposed to be a quick prologue to some other shit entirely and then he just kept babbling, and I don’t even think my grasp on him is all that good. Bluh.

This fic slots right during/after the first two Karkat and Signless-centric fics in the series, where they’ve just emerged into the new world, almost everyone is still in the cave, and over half of them are asleep.

Contains: Sollux <3< Roxy, Sollux <3 Feferi, Signless/Psii, the Life girls duking it out, and a chatlog.
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With half of everybody still asleep or so groggy they might as well be, Feferi busy sitting vigil by her horrorterror of an Ancestress, thankfully still conked out, Terezi chatting up a storm with her own, Karkat having fucked off for parts unknown, and no internet connection...

You'd be bored enough to cry like a little bitch without Roxy. Maybe enough to blast a second tunnel to the surface with your brain. Either/or. (Then again, after that you'd be outside but apparently outside there's plants and nature and shit. Nope.jpg.) When Roxy's awake, though, it's hard to remember that the walls are boring and rocky and the floor is hard and rocky and you are surrounded by boring hard rock and slumbering assholes and just about nothing else.

When she's awake you're too busy wanting to slap her across the snout. Only that'd be way too cheap.

"Choke on my hot long self-replicating worm, you script kiddie!"

"Iyaan, Solly-baby, what is this, it's too big, it'll never fit -- whoops I chomped it in half with my rad as hell firebirdwall. Hi there, nice files you have in that li'l folder!"

"Yeah, have fun with my dummy session while I slide all nice and tight in your backdoor--"

"You guys are the filthiest," says that other human girl, the short-and-round cerulean. ( She adds a sadly disappointed shake of her head... )

Contains: RP logs, annoying typing quirks, even more annoying cat puns (not enough of them somehow, if you figure out more feel free to share, i'll totes edit them in XD) and HORRID ROLEPLAYING. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'd be lying. >:33~

AC: :33 < *the curious kitty bats at the hissterious new scr33nname on her chumproll*
AC: >:OO < a copycat! *she says upawn finding her very own initials on it*
AC: >:EE < there can be only one olive ac kitty! *she hisses and circles the intruder*

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Guess who spent the last eight hours writing 14 pages of random new fic full of wish fulfilment. :D AND THEN DERAILED THE PROMPT AND MIGHT HAVE LANDED HERSELF WITH A NEW 'VERSE.

Kink meme prompt: kid/troll, walking in the sun
Once the game is over, and the kids and trolls (revivified and whatnot) are deposited onto the new planet they made, the trolls discover that here, on this new planet, the sunlight doesn't kill them. They can walk it in completely fine, just like Kanaya can, and they individually learn to leave soaking in the sun's warmth in different ways. Doesn't have to be shippy, but I do love kids/patron trolls interactions if you do.

Bonus points: Because sunlight = death for most of the troll's civilization, they're at first extremely weirded out by how much humans enjoy being in it

Bonus, Bonus points: Trolls turn a funny color when they tan. (maybe they turn their blood color?)
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And it said "revivified" so I revivified EVERYONE. yes even the Ancestors. :D :D :D.

... And then I went ahead and added merged Human/Troll species because WHY THE HECK NOT. :DDDDDDD

Characters: Karkat, Signless/Sufferer, Dave, Jade. No pairings but Dave blackflirts like he's trying to give Karkat the most embarrassing hateboner there ever was, who knows if he means it. XD

( You don't know half of these assholes (except you recognize them anyway.) )