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Teamwork - chapter 9 part 1
Sat, Apr. 17th, 2010 16:18Previous part is on FFnet, i'm too lazy to link back to the one on eljay. *is bad asuka* Just hit the tags or something. >___>;;
And, I just realized my bitching about what I don't like about I just wrote tends to spoil people and/or give them a bias coming in that they might not have had otherwise, so if you want to see the bitching/crit-begging, highlight the gray bar, and if not then just ignore it.
Okay, this one part = DILEMMA. On one hand, as a rule Naruto is optimistic and bounces back fast.
On the other hand, it's not everyday he stabs a cute kid through the guts à la pinned butterfly and bites Sakura to the point he cracks her forearm in the middle of a rape attempt and then proceeds to threaten Sasuke with also-rape and face-eating, because that shit cake totally needed a rotting apple core on top.
First Tifa and now Naruto, I'm so saturated with guilting characters it's coming out of my ears aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarhhh. DX So, I can't judge whether it's too much or not. I wouldn't be adverse to suggestions à la "this sentence isn't exactly necessary and might even be kind of overkill, you could totally trim it out!" My word count would cry, but.
( Naruto )
And, I just realized my bitching about what I don't like about I just wrote tends to spoil people and/or give them a bias coming in that they might not have had otherwise, so if you want to see the bitching/crit-begging, highlight the gray bar, and if not then just ignore it.
Okay, this one part = DILEMMA. On one hand, as a rule Naruto is optimistic and bounces back fast.
On the other hand, it's not everyday he stabs a cute kid through the guts à la pinned butterfly and bites Sakura to the point he cracks her forearm in the middle of a rape attempt and then proceeds to threaten Sasuke with also-rape and face-eating, because that shit cake totally needed a rotting apple core on top.
First Tifa and now Naruto, I'm so saturated with guilting characters it's coming out of my ears aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarhhh. DX So, I can't judge whether it's too much or not. I wouldn't be adverse to suggestions à la "this sentence isn't exactly necessary and might even be kind of overkill, you could totally trim it out!" My word count would cry, but.
( Naruto )