Life and Times of Teh Asuka

This chapter contains sex. Also some ponderings about dub/noncon.

--

At least Karkat has gone back to resting his chin on Dave's knee, in the week between their blow-up and Kankri's summoning. At least there's that.

There's a strange cautiousness to it now, though. Karkat will come sprawl on the couch against him, and nap on the futon, but there's -- he keeps watching Dave.

Dave tries not to notice. He often fails.

( Read more... )

Warning: dubcon.

--

"You're bleeding" is the first thing Karkat says to Jade of his own volition, and it sounds a bit like an accusation.

Dave's partner pauses in the middle of pulling herself out of the backseat. (Karkat is too used to his hidey hole beside Dave to change spots without a fight, and he's been tense around Jade enough as it is.) Dave leans in to frown at her.

"You manage to hurt yourself before we even get on scene, Harley? Are you going after Egbert's crown of oopses or what?"

Jade is looking puzzled, mostly. She pulls herself out of the car and blinks down at Dave's demon. "What are you talking about?" she asks, or starts to ask.

Then she notices where Karkat is staring at about the same time Dave does.

"Oh shit, not today!" Jade groans. Dave turns away, not at all hurriedly. Who was looking at his partner's cooch here? Surely not a gentleman like Dave Lalonde Strider.

( Read more... )

(not that this is the only chapter that contains porn, just that it's the only chapter that contains nothing but. reminder that this is xeno.)

--
Dave is in the process of cleaning after lunch (read: putting takeout boxes inside each other in order of size, with dirty paper napkins stuffed in the cracks) when his phone rings.

"Don't quit police work for journalism," is the first thing his brother tells him.

"Wow, I love you too, Dirkiepoo. My article on the buying habits of demons in grocery stores was a success and everyone knows it."

Karkat looks up at hearing the word; Dave shrugs at him. His demon is elbow-blade-deep in a marshmallow bag. It's already half empty. On second thought perhaps Dave shouldn't have let him choose the one he wanted.

"We got complaints from the vendor, you scared his other customers off."

"Pff, he'll sing another tune when everyone wants to buy shit from his store because it was once patroned by the illustrious Karkat Vantas. Also I asked him if it was okay before coming in and he said yes, so hey, it's all on him."

"You said 'service animal', you asshole," Karkat says, loud enough for the phone to pick up. Dirk scoffs. "You said, 'hello, Detective Strider, do you mind if I come in with my service animal, don't want to leave him in the street.' I should have chosen a bigger bag."

"There was no bigger, Jesus, Karkat, you could stuff your head in that and still have room for a shoulder. Anyway, Dirk, what do you want, answer is no, I'm on leave. Captain said so, you can't make me."

( Read more... )

When the patrol car arrives at the scene Karkat is still licking frosting off his fingers. He radiates smug; getting two cupcakes when he was promised one was apparently enough to distract him from his hatred of cars.

Also enough to comfort his feeling that Dave is a chump. But that's par for the course.( Read more... )

pr0ns again!
---------

He has a headache when he wakes, which doesn't presage many good things for today. There's a few forks back on the floor, but half-heartedly. He eyes them from the couch and doesn't move. It's... Nine past nine and nine seconds, Aradia informs him. Okay, he's pretty sure she woke him up. She likes patterned numbers like that.

He bends at the waist, rummages under the couch, finds a candle in the offering box. There's a little shelf over the armrest where he put his head, usually for the TV remote. He puts the candle on it, looking at it upside-down. She's not asking him to do that, he's just refusing to sit up for real.

I don't mind, she tells him, soothing and amused. Time flows the same way upside-down!( Read more... )

this one's nsfw.

( Read more... )

PREPARE TO BE SPAMMED. i suck and didn't update the fic here, but i've kept on writing it and it's going pretty fast so far, so now i have about six parts to post. .____.

--

Inside the precinct there's a lot of sudden silence and staring when Dave comes down the stairs with Karkat in tow. The demon likes moving better on all fours, back legs folding and twitch-unfolding like a grasshopper's, and its claws clink loud on floor tiles.

"It's bound, seriously, guys, relax," he throws out there, and makes his way between partitioned desks, hands in his pockets. Karkat lets out a vibrating, crickety crackle-growl that manages both to be quiet and to carry to the ends of the room in a particularly hair-raising way.

"Maybe you could tell it not to freak out the officers," Jane whispers in his ear.

She's kidding, right? It's hilarious. "Nah, they need to steel their nerves." Out there there's loose Class Ones and Twos, bunches of criminals and lowlifes using the distraction of a demon apocalypse in progress to do their criminal thing, and criminals just plain going "hey why not" and using demons as anti-personnel weapons. There's a Don who reportedly has a Class Three at his beck and call, and it only charges a weekly street kid dinner to stay on retainer. "They'll thank us tomorrow."

Jane sighs. "I guess. At least Karkat is a vertebrate and doesn't make you feel like your eyes are about to pop like balloons trying to figure out its geometry."

Dave nods his commiseration. "Fucking six-dimensional demons, huh."

"Fucking human black hole brains," Karkat growls from down there. Dave snorts and holds the door to Captain Egbert's office open for it. It makes sure to walk close enough to rake its shoulder and wing spines nice and deep along the wood. Little brat.
( Read more... )

And this one I am posting separately because 1) SURPRISE PORN WTF? and 2) 4000 words long what i said short, anon.

Anonymous asked you:
dave/karkat, mortifying teenagers

--

Karkat liked the god village relatively well, for all that the amenities had been built by people who thought a hole in the ground with a plank across it was fancy for a loadgaper.

Okay, he was being unfair.

Fuck being unfair.

Today he liked the village for one thing only. Not the defensibleness or the gorgeous view or the lack of monsters or the pleasant, not charbroiling sunlight.

His hive's backdoor was only thirty steps away from Dave's, and he could even do most of the trip behind some bushes, in case of nosy neighbors. At an angry stomp he crossed them decently fast.

BANG BANG BANG. "Strider! Drag yourself off your depraved concupiscent platform and ooze your way to the sadly nonfucking, celibate door now before I take it off its hinges! It'll be a poor virgin door for life, Strider, and your house will have a hole in it for the dust and the birds to fly in and I will laugh, Strider! I will fucking laugh! I'll laugh so hard I might break a vocal vibratory string and will have to continue pouring wisdom and orders in thine ears at point blank fucking range, are you looking forward to that because I sure am, Strider!"

"'sup," said a slice of Strider, appearing in the barely cracked-open door from eye down to a hint of hip. "It wasn't locked, you tool."

"Some of us are afflicted with this sickness called politeness that means we don't just waltz into other people's hives," Karkat replied, because of course he hadn't thought to check the handle. Dave rolled red eyes at him.

Oh hey no shades today. Huh. ... Huh.( Read more... )