AIM silliness -- Naruto & Homestuck fusion rambles

[askerian]

(okay first for people who don't read homestuck, trolls have a complicated romantic life. XD There's four kinds of relationships, four quadrants, and one troll is supposed to attempt to fill them all. At the same time, with different people. Woohoo weird poly shenanigans.
Trolls are a naturally aggressive species, so there's all sorts of checks and balances to try to curb that so they don't destroy their civilization or something.

♥ Matesprit/matespritship : mate + esprit (spirit in french) is the one closest to human romance. Sex is included, also positive feelings. (pity is a positive feeling for trolls, because if someone is really pitiful then you a) don't want to kill them or run away from them for being a threat to you and b) you might even want to protect them and stuff. But I digress.) (flushed quadrant!)

♠ Kismesissitude : kismet (destiny) + nemesis : is basically someone you love to hate. Also includes sex, though more often of the rough and bloody variety. It's someone you have so much invested into hating that you want them alive as long as possible, so you can hate them more. (caliginous quadrant!)

Those are the two concupiscent quadrants, the ones concerned with reproduction. The next two are the conciliatory quadrants, concerned with, idek, greasing the wheels of society or something.

♦ Moirallegiance : moira (fates) + allegiance, does not include sex but is considered a romance. It's kind of a best friends for life thing, but not entirely; it implies also that you have a good influence on the other person and you help them stay in control of themselves so they don't go apeshit and cause massive trouble to everyone. Moirallegiance also involves a pact of mutual protection. (pale quadrant!)

And the last one is ♣ auspisticissitude; (auspice / armistice) and the most complex; it involves two trolls who really dislike each other but really can't/shouldn't fall into kismesis, either because they have a kismesis already and it would be considered cheating or... some other reason why it's a bad idea, plus the person who plays referee between them. So, three people. It's both negative and non-sexual, but it's considered a romance too. It's the one I get the least, but hey, shiny.) (ashen quadrant!)

book_people: you should maybe mention that the auspistice is to stop the kismesissitude from happening at whatever cost. So they often end up mediating violently. u.u
Askerian: ahahahahahXDD
book_people: Auspistices are really well meaning cockblocks who will kill you if you cross them. So they have to be really strong.
Askerian: ... awesome XD
Askerian: i dunno, kanaya did that a lot, didn't she? is that fanon?
Askerian: so maybe some do it via violence, but she does it via being kanaya at you until you give in.
book_people: No, she did
Askerian: prrt?
book_people: ...actually, there's this one really memorable scene in which she comes out of nowhere, clocks Vriska, kicks Gamzee in the 'nads off a cliff, and then cuts Eridan in half with a chainsaw.
Askerian: O_________________________________O
Askerian: KANAYA MARRY ME.
book_people: So, yeah. Any. Means. Necessary.
Askerian: *sparkles all over the place*

book_people: Also, nobody understands auspisticissitude, so you're not alone. XDDD

(oh also trolls all have different colors of blood and depending on where they fall on the color spectrum they have a different social status. Up top is purple, down is red, all shades of blue are nobles, blahblahblah.)

BUT ANYWAY.


book_people: ...Asuka, I may have recently had a very long one-sided conversation with a friend in which I detailed the arguments for Sasuke and Naruto in a kismessissitude, moirallegiance, and matespritship in turn.
Askerian: ... *__________*
Askerian: DO YOU STILL HAVE IT.
book_people: I do not, alas!
book_people: It was over the phone
book_people: my friend was very confuse
Askerian: i think naruto thinks they have a moirallegiance, but really they keep flipping between the two concupiscent quadrants. XD
book_people: because she recently entered Naruto fandom and has never even heard of Homestuck
Askerian: hahahahaha XD eeeevil
Askerian: you confusing confuser
book_people: Yeah. I'd say most recently Naruto made a pretty large bid for the pale quadrant, and Sasuke's response was roughly translated to "pffffffnope."
Askerian: sasuke doesn't even want a kismesissitude, but when he doesn't have his head up his ass he knows that's totally why he hasn't taken suigetsu up on his offer. ... or madara. or orochimaru. sorry, quadrant's taken, move along.
book_people: hahaha
book_people: yes
Askerian: whereas naruto is still WE WILL BE MOIRALS UNTIL THE END OF TIME and I WILL HELP YOU RESTRAIN YOURSELF BECAUSE THAT IS MY DUTY and sasuke is all fffff i don't want you for THAT i want you in my pants I MEAN NOT AT ALL
Askerian: kinda tragic. D:
book_people: *dies* yesssss
Askerian: but if they're trolls then they're all bisexuals! :-D
Askerian: mmm
book_people: true fax
Askerian: BLOOD COLORS?
Askerian: okay this is way too much fun
book_people: I still think Naruto would completely fail to notice that he's trying for the wrong quadrant. u.u
Askerian: ...
Askerian: sakura is totes their auspistice
book_people: She is!
Askerian: X3
book_people: she keeps them very firmly in the flushed quadrant, thanks
Askerian: she's kinda sad that it's seen as somewhat slutty to fill several quadrants for the same person because she'd totes be naruto's moiral and sasuke's matesprit if she could
book_people: (Sasuke is a blueblood. Like, really blue. Like, a hairsbreath from indigo)
Askerian: oh yeah, man *_*
Askerian: then again maybe in narutoverse weird eye colors = indigo and up
book_people: hmmm. Possible
book_people: she totally would, too
Askerian: hm, i don't know where to put Ino in Sakura's quadrants now
Askerian: are they moirals or kismeses
Askerian: it's really weird that they could be both XD
book_people: Possibly they were moirails, but the relationship failed as they got older and Sakura became a bit too much for Ino to handle?
Askerian: oh, that's likely
Askerian: and they're not intense enough for kismeses ;;
Askerian: but ino probably tried it for a while
book_people: of course, that means they'd be really bad kismeses
Askerian: ahahaha yes
book_people: XD
Askerian: then again, no one can hurt you as well as the person who knows you inside out.
book_people: True, but they're not really on a level ability-wise. Sakura would dominate the relationship pretty heavily
book_people: ...They clearly need an auspistice
book_people: >.>
Askerian: *_*
Askerian: HMM like who
book_people: ...huh
Askerian: ... it'd be really sexy if karin wanted to be sakura's kismesis
book_people: ...yes. I approve
book_people: ♠ etc
Askerian: oh man, sasuke's hebi team was really an attempt to fill his quadrants XD
Askerian: he was only missing an auspistice XD
book_people: ...*dies*
Askerian: more like they all sat down together and had a talk on who was going to try for which with him XD
Askerian: because he was all NOPE
book_people: who would the auspistice auspisticize between?
Askerian: ....
Askerian: maybe juugo could auspisticize between sui and karin XD


Askerian: ...
Askerian: i bet the reason sasuke was so sore on that hospital roof was that if naruto was becoming stronger than him he couldn't pity him anymore.
Askerian: sasuke was becoming the pitiable one! which, you know, should be good for a mutual thing, but too much pride + naruto is too much of a derp to notice it's not platonic pity.
book_people: ...aw, poor baby
book_people: In his defense, he's, like, barely six sweeps at the time. ♥
Askerian: well yes, but. u.u
Askerian: and then at the waterfall he's all but getting a skywriting thing to say BE MY KISMESIS FOREVER ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ and naruto gets all in his face with MOIRALS FOREVER ♦
Askerian: serious miscommunication there
book_people: ....*snort* Lord, they manage to miscommunicate about the color and the type of quadrant.
Askerian: yeah, they're not even talking of flipping quadrants there, they'd have to jump at a diagonal
book_people: ...Lord, but they need an auspistice
Askerian: sakura-chaaan
book_people: ...which is totally why Sakura needed to get stronger. No way she could auspisticize in this situation at her current strength
Askerian: YES.

book_people: The ability to create craters with your fist would really come in handy in this particular relationship
Askerian: okay this is totally going into the post too XD

Comments

[explodingfrogs.livejournal.com]

Also, re: the blood colors thing, Naruto is clearly bright candy red, and not hiding it. Hence why everyone and their mother in Konoha hates him at the start of the series. And also his Ninjassiah tendencies.

I torn between Sasuke being cerulean (Vriska's blood color) because that seems to be the "ocular mutations and psychic powers" highblood color, and his being indigo (Gamzee's color) because being incredibly fucked up in the head seems to as hereditary a trait for Uchihas as their bloodline limit.

Green seems to fit Sakura best, as it seems to be the troll equivalent of "middle-class", and the green-blooded trolls shown so far don't show any sign of unique abilities inherently tied to their blood color. (They have unique abilities, all right, but they seem to be acquired rather than inherent.)

[book-people.livejournal.com]

Oh come on, Naruto clearly has bright orange blood. XDD

[askerian]

Agree with Adi, orange! Mutant bright red blood can't pop up everywhere. (Oh hey, maybe it could be mutant GRAY blood or even WHITE, too. That'd be fun. XD) Also, orange. Totes orange. And massive typical-rustblood psychic powers that he can't contain/use with any grace at first. That parallels Kyuubi pretty well.

I think Sasuke would be dark blue. Not sure which shade though. Hm. And yes, agree on Sakura being green. Probably spring-leaf-green. N'aww. Wonder where Kakashi would be at, though.