askerian | AIM silliness -- Naruto & Homestuck fusion rambles

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AIM silliness -- Naruto & Homestuck fusion rambles

(okay first for people who don't read homestuck, trolls have a complicated romantic life. XD There's four kinds of relationships, four quadrants, and one troll is supposed to attempt to fill them all. At the same time, with different people. Woohoo weird poly shenanigans.
Trolls are a naturally aggressive species, so there's all sorts of checks and balances to try to curb that so they don't destroy their civilization or something.

♥ Matesprit/matespritship : mate + esprit (spirit in french) is the one closest to human romance. Sex is included, also positive feelings. (pity is a positive feeling for trolls, because if someone is really pitiful then you a) don't want to kill them or run away from them for being a threat to you and b) you might even want to protect them and stuff. But I digress.) (flushed quadrant!)

♠ Kismesissitude : kismet (destiny) + nemesis : is basically someone you love to hate. Also includes sex, though more often of the rough and bloody variety. It's someone you have so much invested into hating that you want them alive as long as possible, so you can hate them more. (caliginous quadrant!)

Those are the two concupiscent quadrants, the ones concerned with reproduction. The next two are the conciliatory quadrants, concerned with, idek, greasing the wheels of society or something.

♦ Moirallegiance : moira (fates) + allegiance, does not include sex but is considered a romance. It's kind of a best friends for life thing, but not entirely; it implies also that you have a good influence on the other person and you help them stay in control of themselves so they don't go apeshit and cause massive trouble to everyone. Moirallegiance also involves a pact of mutual protection. (pale quadrant!)

And the last one is ♣ auspisticissitude; (auspice / armistice) and the most complex; it involves two trolls who really dislike each other but really can't/shouldn't fall into kismesis, either because they have a kismesis already and it would be considered cheating or... some other reason why it's a bad idea, plus the person who plays referee between them. So, three people. It's both negative and non-sexual, but it's considered a romance too. It's the one I get the least, but hey, shiny.) (ashen quadrant!)

book_people: you should maybe mention that the auspistice is to stop the kismesissitude from happening at whatever cost. So they often end up mediating violently. u.u
Askerian: ahahahahahXDD
book_people: Auspistices are really well meaning cockblocks who will kill you if you cross them. So they have to be really strong.
Askerian: ... awesome XD
Askerian: i dunno, kanaya did that a lot, didn't she? is that fanon?
Askerian: so maybe some do it via violence, but she does it via being kanaya at you until you give in.
book_people: No, she did
Askerian: prrt?
book_people: ...actually, there's this one really memorable scene in which she comes out of nowhere, clocks Vriska, kicks Gamzee in the 'nads off a cliff, and then cuts Eridan in half with a chainsaw.
Askerian: O_________________________________O
Askerian: KANAYA MARRY ME.
book_people: So, yeah. Any. Means. Necessary.
Askerian: *sparkles all over the place*

book_people: Also, nobody understands auspisticissitude, so you're not alone. XDDD

(oh also trolls all have different colors of blood and depending on where they fall on the color spectrum they have a different social status. Up top is purple, down is red, all shades of blue are nobles, blahblahblah.)

BUT ANYWAY.

book_people: ...Asuka, I may have recently had a very long one-sided conversation with a friend in which I detailed the arguments for Sasuke and Naruto in a kismessissitude, moirallegiance, and matespritship in turn.
Askerian: ... *__________*
Askerian: DO YOU STILL HAVE IT.
book_people: I do not, alas!
book_people: It was over the phone
book_people: my friend was very confuse
Askerian: i think naruto thinks they have a moirallegiance, but really they keep flipping between the two concupiscent quadrants. XD
book_people: because she recently entered Naruto fandom and has never even heard of Homestuck
Askerian: hahahahaha XD eeeevil
Askerian: you confusing confuser
book_people: Yeah. I'd say most recently Naruto made a pretty large bid for the pale quadrant, and Sasuke's response was roughly translated to "pffffffnope."
Askerian: sasuke doesn't even want a kismesissitude, but when he doesn't have his head up his ass he knows that's totally why he hasn't taken suigetsu up on his offer. ... or madara. or orochimaru. sorry, quadrant's taken, move along.
book_people: hahaha
book_people: yes
Askerian: whereas naruto is still WE WILL BE MOIRALS UNTIL THE END OF TIME and I WILL HELP YOU RESTRAIN YOURSELF BECAUSE THAT IS MY DUTY and sasuke is all fffff i don't want you for THAT i want you in my pants I MEAN NOT AT ALL
Askerian: kinda tragic. D:
book_people: *dies* yesssss
Askerian: but if they're trolls then they're all bisexuals! :-D
Askerian: mmm
book_people: true fax
Askerian: BLOOD COLORS?
Askerian: okay this is way too much fun
book_people: I still think Naruto would completely fail to notice that he's trying for the wrong quadrant. u.u
Askerian: ...
Askerian: sakura is totes their auspistice
book_people: She is!
Askerian: X3
book_people: she keeps them very firmly in the flushed quadrant, thanks
Askerian: she's kinda sad that it's seen as somewhat slutty to fill several quadrants for the same person because she'd totes be naruto's moiral and sasuke's matesprit if she could
book_people: (Sasuke is a blueblood. Like, really blue. Like, a hairsbreath from indigo)
Askerian: oh yeah, man *_*
Askerian: then again maybe in narutoverse weird eye colors = indigo and up
book_people: hmmm. Possible
book_people: she totally would, too
Askerian: hm, i don't know where to put Ino in Sakura's quadrants now
Askerian: are they moirals or kismeses
Askerian: it's really weird that they could be both XD
book_people: Possibly they were moirails, but the relationship failed as they got older and Sakura became a bit too much for Ino to handle?
Askerian: oh, that's likely
Askerian: and they're not intense enough for kismeses ;;
Askerian: but ino probably tried it for a while
book_people: of course, that means they'd be really bad kismeses
Askerian: ahahaha yes
book_people: XD
Askerian: then again, no one can hurt you as well as the person who knows you inside out.
book_people: True, but they're not really on a level ability-wise. Sakura would dominate the relationship pretty heavily
book_people: ...They clearly need an auspistice
book_people: >.>
Askerian: *_*
Askerian: HMM like who
book_people: ...huh
Askerian: ... it'd be really sexy if karin wanted to be sakura's kismesis
book_people: ...yes. I approve
book_people: ♠ etc
Askerian: oh man, sasuke's hebi team was really an attempt to fill his quadrants XD
Askerian: he was only missing an auspistice XD
book_people: ...*dies*
Askerian: more like they all sat down together and had a talk on who was going to try for which with him XD
Askerian: because he was all NOPE
book_people: who would the auspistice auspisticize between?
Askerian: ....
Askerian: maybe juugo could auspisticize between sui and karin XD

Askerian: ...
Askerian: i bet the reason sasuke was so sore on that hospital roof was that if naruto was becoming stronger than him he couldn't pity him anymore.
Askerian: sasuke was becoming the pitiable one! which, you know, should be good for a mutual thing, but too much pride + naruto is too much of a derp to notice it's not platonic pity.
book_people: ...aw, poor baby
book_people: In his defense, he's, like, barely six sweeps at the time. ♥
Askerian: well yes, but. u.u
Askerian: and then at the waterfall he's all but getting a skywriting thing to say BE MY KISMESIS FOREVER ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ and naruto gets all in his face with MOIRALS FOREVER ♦
Askerian: serious miscommunication there
book_people: ....*snort* Lord, they manage to miscommunicate about the color and the type of quadrant.
Askerian: yeah, they're not even talking of flipping quadrants there, they'd have to jump at a diagonal
book_people: ...Lord, but they need an auspistice
Askerian: sakura-chaaan
book_people: ...which is totally why Sakura needed to get stronger. No way she could auspisticize in this situation at her current strength
Askerian: YES.

book_people: The ability to create craters with your fist would really come in handy in this particular relationship
Askerian: okay this is totally going into the post too XD

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Nooooooooooooon *cri qui se perd dans le lointain*

Lj était l'un de mes derniers havres de paix où personne ne mentionnait l'existence de ce fandom maudit. v_v

Oh, va te faire voir. ;p Les personnages sont marrants et j'aime les aliens, je fais ce que je veux d'abord na.

You've gotten into Homestuck.

You. Have gotten. Into Homestuck.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Also, re: the blood colors thing, Naruto is clearly bright candy red, and not hiding it. Hence why everyone and their mother in Konoha hates him at the start of the series. And also his Ninjassiah tendencies.

I torn between Sasuke being cerulean (Vriska's blood color) because that seems to be the "ocular mutations and psychic powers" highblood color, and his being indigo (Gamzee's color) because being incredibly fucked up in the head seems to as hereditary a trait for Uchihas as their bloodline limit.

Green seems to fit Sakura best, as it seems to be the troll equivalent of "middle-class", and the green-blooded trolls shown so far don't show any sign of unique abilities inherently tied to their blood color. (They have unique abilities, all right, but they seem to be acquired rather than inherent.)

Oh come on, Naruto clearly has bright orange blood. XDD

Agree with Adi, orange! Mutant bright red blood can't pop up everywhere. (Oh hey, maybe it could be mutant GRAY blood or even WHITE, too. That'd be fun. XD) Also, orange. Totes orange. And massive typical-rustblood psychic powers that he can't contain/use with any grace at first. That parallels Kyuubi pretty well.

I think Sasuke would be dark blue. Not sure which shade though. Hm. And yes, agree on Sakura being green. Probably spring-leaf-green. N'aww. Wonder where Kakashi would be at, though.

YOU'VE GOTTEN INTO HOMESTUCK. Don't mistake my capslock there for a sign of serious fandom dedication there, though. I'm not so much interested in the characters so much as I'm very, very taken with the concept of troll romance.

I think I can explain auspisticissitude! It was explained in canon as something like this... For evolutionary purposes, trolls only want the strongest, most epic, and most intense kismesses and matesprits. Sometimes two people are on their way to being kismesses, but they're not quite "right" for each other, because it's not their "One True Hate" or the hatred isn't strong/pure enough, or something along those lines. That's where an auspistice comes in. An auspistice weeds out those budding kismesses that aren't right for each other (by acting as a mediator), so that only the most powerful, hateful relationships remain.

...Did that make sense?

Also I am extremely excited as to what else you'll come up with, trollmance-wise. Even if this naruto/trollmance fusion is already going a little bit over my head. WHATEVER, I ASSUME THIS'LL MAKE MORE SENSE AFTER A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE KARKAT. ;__; but yeah, the romance quadrants are half the fun XD

oooooh the explanation yay! this makes sense too.

Seriously I am not writing a Naruto crossover, though. Just, no. There's not even any plot, it's just a funny reinterpretation of canon things. >.>

I DON'T KNOW KARKAT IS...FINE? At first I thought Dave was interesting, but now I'm starting to wonder more and more about John and Jade :|a. I do like to ship some characters together every now and then (like imagining what RoseDave or JohnJade might be like, or what kind of turn of events might be necessary for that to happen, etc.), but that's kinda pretty much it. EH.

Yeah an actual crossover fic would be a ... fairly new can of beans to open. Like fabricating quadrants' role in Naruto-verse evolution and society...maybe too much to figure out, no matter how interesting that might be. I don't doubt you could figure something out, if you wanted to, but just seeing imagining trollmance in every fandom is interesting enough without plotbuilding or worldbuilding, yeah.

ehehehehe~!

can i take partial responsibility for luring you into homestuck things >D

and also

how can i lure you further?

There is absolutely no need to lure me further, i'm luring myself pretty nicely as it is.

AND YES YOU CAN TAKE PARTIAL RESPONSIBILITY. *hisses at*

oh god Homestuck
oh god quadrants.

I think I love you more now.

KANAYA MARRY ME.
yeah, that was pretty much Vriska's reaction XD my favorite scene in the whole comic, trufax.

SASUKE IS HIS OWN KISMESIS just like Karkat. yup yup.

....Now you need to put the Gundam boys into quadrants.
This will happen.
(why am I already plotting this)

... I think Sasuke... oh, actually, if they're trolls then none of them have the incest taboo, so Sasuke would be trying for Itachi as his kismesis, only to then be slapped across the face with how much Itachi pitied him and was looking out for his best interests... and yeah, at this point he'd sorta forget about kindofmaybealittle wanting Naruto to fill that quadrant in the past and totally start hating himself more than anyone else in the world XDD

oh god, the Gboys. Such a tangled mess. Also it's really easy to read their interactions in a bazilion different ways... hmmmm.

Duo gets along with Quatre pretty well, but Heero would totes be Quatre's moiral after the Accidentally Killing Trowa thing (dunno if it'd last, because Relena would also be pretty good as Heero's moiral. Then again she could also be his matesprit depending on other stuff, so.) Trowa would be Quatre's flushcrush, and Heero and Wufei would have a tentative kismesis thing in Endless Waltz. Duo... i dunno. Hmmm.

Whoah, I don't know anything about the subject outside Naruto but somehow it all made sense! Unbelievable how such a theory could explain the team7 dynamics. XD

XD it's scary how much it makes sense, huh? And now I'm having epic lols thinking about how ff7 and Advent Children are totally canon romances about the Cloud/Seph. HATE-ROMANCE FTW~ mmm blackrom *_*

Hahaha, yesss this is excellent one of us one of us.

Also the other reason that auspistices exist is so the entire planet full of bristly hate machines doesn't end up killing too much of the general population.

Yeah, I kinda assumed it was agreasing-the-wheels-of-society role but it's just a bit harder to see what the Auspistice gets out of it. Then again you can fill three people's quadrants with this and only one of the three needs to actually be a "I want everyone to get along" type and the other two can be as pissy and aggressive as they want, maybe the ratio works better for troll society. XD

I tend to think of auspistice in terms of those two guys who are always at each other's throats, plus the third guy who keeps them in line. The responsible one who keeps the unruly children out of trouble.

So...maternal/paternal feelings? Maybe auspistices are the closest thing troll society has to parental relationships as we know them?

Hmm. There could be something to this. The Dolorosa is the only troll to serve as another troll's guardian, and her descendant, Kanaya, is the resident Ultimate Auspistice of the modern trolls. And Kanaya herself can have a somewhat maternal manner at times...

I THINK SOMEONE SHOULD MAKE A MEME WHERE COMMENTERS THROW SHIPS AT THEM, AND THEY RE-CLASSIFY THE SHIPS INTO QUADRANTS. >_>;;;; *COUGHCOUGH*

Oooh, that could be so fun! *PONDERS*

... only for people who know both series though.

OH MY GOD CLOUDSEPH. EPIC KISMESES FOREVER. I now need to write a fic where the kids watch Troll Advent Children and it's totally a romance story in their 'verse. XDDDD <3<~

Does this mean that most video games involve both a designated love interest and a designated hate interest?

Possibly even a designated Best Friend. Follow the life of Cloud Strife, as his moiral dies at the sword of his flush-crush Sephiroth, flipping them over into black romance, and as he loses his memory and confuses his moiral's life and his moiral's matesprit for his own, bypassing his own destined matesprit blahblahblah... XDD oh dude, awesome. Now I want to try to write it like a Troll Movie title, the format cracks me up.

So wait-they're trolls, family means nothing, so how does Clan fit into this? Are the Hyuuga a bunch of purple blooded freaks with their own mother-grub who exclusively breed within the group to preserve their own mutation/psychic abilities?

Not that I object to this however. I wonder what their candy-corn horns would look like-for some reason I think Sakura would have rather long ones.

Homestuck is seriously the most complicated and strange thing that has happened to the global fan community in years.

Sounds interesting, but I think I am suffering from TLDR on that.

But the conversation still amused and interested me.

And after this I read Homestuck.

oH GOG, aSKERIAN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!

I've heard my friends talk about it before, but I have no idea what it is. Is it a manga? TV show?

its a web comic ^-^ awesome conversation by the way, so very amusing. X3

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AIM silliness -- Naruto & Homestuck fusion rambles

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