askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (FMA-misheard)
askerian ([personal profile] askerian) wrote2007-01-25 10:21 pm

*hiss*

... I. Loathe. Hypocrites.

I really. Really. Loathe them.

Reminded that she still hadn't answered to my wondering if she would take my concrit or ignore it because "it's not my fault my classmate wrote it/stole it/rewrote it and so I'm not responsible at all", I was checking on Plagiarist-chan's latest exploits. In one of her posts to her home-forum, she posts a link to her "so Sakura betrays Konoha for no reason and goes get herself raped by the akatsuki just so she can have twu wuv with itachi because sasuke is a dirty traitor and he sucks" story.

And then she adds a "JESUS CHRIST!!! OEN OF EM IS BISEXUAL!! READ HER PROFILE! EW!", actual quote, refering to one of the people who critted her story.

Dot, dot, motherfucking dot.

One, the crit is still perfectly valid.

Two, YOU FUCKING STOLE MY MALE/MALE/FEMALE GRAPHIC LEMON STORY AND YOU HAVE THE GALL TO GO EW AT SOMEONE FOR BEING BISEXUAL?!

Hypocrite, and a bigot. A hypocritical bigot. MMMM. DELICIOUS.

Here is her story. If you can stomach it and you don't mind wasting a half-hour on it, then please, crit it. Crit it good. Crit it HARD. I'm not telling you to flame it, hell, i'm telling you NOT to flame it. NO flames, NO personal attacks, NO "never write again" (even though personally I can't help but think it, it isn't anyone's place to tell anyone else so). Just polite, impartial critique on the story itself, what works and what doesn't and why it doesn't work, please. If you can't do that then please don't bother, I don't condone flaming anyone into the ground.

But she asked for concrit, and by god she's going to get it.



edit: oh, people, I love you so. T_______T ♥♥♥♥♥♥


edit the second: ... wow. She's got balls, I have to admit that.

penname: -Fallen.Uchiha.Angel-
profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1071827/
--------------------

no. i would not make another "its my friend" lie.
i just wondered if you do beta-ing. im not the best at writing.
^^;


=__= She just admitted to lying... did NOT apologize for it... and asked me to help anyway. Niiiiiice.

OF COURSE, HONEY-BABY. DO YOU WANT US TO GET MATCHING BFF-FOR-LIFE TATTOOS AS WELL? MY RIGHT BUTTOCK IS WAITING FOR YOUR NAME.

*grmbl*

edit the third:

You seem to have gotten a lot of nice, helpful concrit already, all of which I really agree with. When you write, just keep in mind to:

-spellcheck,
-never add author notes in the middle of the story because it breaks the flow and brings the reader out of the story,
-don't use fangirl japanese; if the word exists in english then use english. Japanese is only alright for names of places and things that don't translate like, for example, shuriken, sensei, -chan and -kun. Otherwise it makes you look retarded, and if you only know the words from some other fangirl and she got them wrong, then you'll look two times as retarded.
-always wonder "would this character really do this?" If they wouldn't, but you really want them to do it anyway, either find a good, convincing reason why, or find another way to get to the same result. Though I would advise you to find another plot entirely because disbelief only gets suspended so far.
-don't timewarp people from one scene to the next or a flashback to current time with only a "IN THIS OTHER PLACE"; either describe your character walking there, or put a scene divider and start with something like "Tsunade leaned against her desk." or "the forest was cold after dark." People are not stupid and will be able to guess that the scene has changed.
-don't use big words if you're not positive you know how to use them properly. You would look pretentious, and if you get them wrong, then you'll look stupid, too.

As for the rest, I don't want to be your regular beta, because "JESUS CHRIST! OEN OF EM IS BISEXUAL!! READ HER PROFILE! EW!" is particularly hypocritical coming from someone who stole and reposted a fic with GRAPHIC MALE/MALE AND MALE/FEMALE SEX. Yes, that means that in my story, NARUTO AND SASUKE HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER AS WELL AS WITH SAKURA. WICH YES, DOES MAKE THEM BISEXUAL.

I've been more than lenient with you -- you never apologized, either for stealing ot for lying to my face, and seriously you're getting on my nerves. As a writer to an aspiring writer, I'm telling you good luck and please use the advice you've gotten well. As a person to another person, I'm telling you that I frankly dislike you, and it would be a good idea to edit your post in that forum, because I WILL point out your gross hypocrisy and plagiarism for everyone on your forum to see.

[identity profile] spiralingvortex.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, not to mention that one comment about adding Kisame to rape Sakura too...

[identity profile] kill-kirin.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Sometimes people are scaring me ... like the ones who go "OMG this story is soooo great ! I can't wait for next chapter !!" ... Makes me wanna puke . Really .
Her story is just another example of the shit littering ffnet, I'm afraid .

[identity profile] kill-kirin.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 10:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah ... If I wasn't so godamned lazy I guess I should write her a review ... Thing is, what the girl she went all "She's bi eeeeew ! I might get infected too" already got all the valid points . Minus maybe the spelling and grammar mistakes . I would like to say "your fic sucks" but I don't think it would do much good . Besides, I reserve my crit to people :
1) who actually want to improve and do not mind advice and others pointing to mistakes they made (be they grammar, spelling or plot)
2) who are mature enough not to go berserk over some review however unpleasant it may be
3) who won't drag private matter into the equation just because the reviewer didn't drop at their feet to sing their praise
4) whose story actually rates a little above horseshit

Since that girl doesn't meet any of the points listed, I don't think I will make the effort .
(Hell, even with people writing very good fanfics, I take forever to leave a review if any)

[identity profile] kill-kirin.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
GO 'SUKA GO !!! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT !!

(I want blood and gory parts flying all over the place)

[identity profile] des-butterfly.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Honestly? I think I'm more scared of whoever wrote this review for it:

Kisame should totally rape her. That would be hot.

-_-; HOW BOUT NO, SICK BITCH.

[identity profile] kill-kirin.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I second that .
The whole "the bad guys are bad so they must get their kick out of raping girls/weak people" plot tends to get on my nerves .
Besides I like Kisame . And it's not as if he couldn't score someone every now and then if he really wanted to, just because he's not the bishie type . A pretty face can only get you so far if your personnality sucks .

[identity profile] kill-kirin.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course it would . People like that just can't grasp the basic sense of sarcasm and irony .

[identity profile] des-butterfly.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
lol, I think my review ended up being longer then her entire fic. XD

Anyway, although I know that some people don't react to crit well, I feel kind of like we're rewarding her for being a douche by concritting her work.

If she doesn't repair anything from all these wonderful suggestions people have been giving her when she posts again, I think I might have to flame her, just on principle.

[identity profile] da-fox22.livejournal.com 2007-01-25 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry to do this here, ma'am, but I couldn't find an email address...

I've been catching up on the recent Naruto chapters on MSN Groups, and followed a link [http://groups.msn.com/NMRPictureGirlRevenge/avatar.msnw], where I recognized some of your icons. I wasn't sure if this was your doing or not, so I thought I should inform you.

I only saw the front page (1 of 30), so I don't know if there are more.

Again, sorry to take up space in your journal, but I thought you should know.

[identity profile] bootoye.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
I don't understand all the fuss the "curvacious mountains on her chest" seems to be a very creative turn at imagery *snicker*

Is it just me or does a lot of nothing happen in that very short 1st chapter? Only cause its you Asuka I read almost all of that crap.

Seriously though, if I had to critique this it wold be longer than the chapter itself! Good luck!!!^^

[identity profile] bootoye.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree small *bite size* is better^^

Wish I had...oh well @__@

[identity profile] felis-pardalis.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
I think she's talking about me. I almost feel honored that she actually cared enough to look at my profile.

O_o

(Anonymous) 2007-01-26 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
So - you voluntarily dove in to that brain-destroying badfic-of-evil? To encourage that young writer to improve? I'm torn between nominating you for sainthood or questioning your sanity. Wanna be a saint? XD

MommyRogers

Re: O_o

[identity profile] felis-pardalis.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm afraid I'm not going to be a saint anytime soon. My family is teetering on the edge of excommunication. We don't really get along with our bishop. We're too vocal in our support of things like gay marriage and women priests. (Oh, the horror!)

(Anonymous) 2007-01-26 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)
That's the problem, right there. Guys banging other guys AND girls is hot, but girls with girls is disgusting. In a fanbrat's eyes, at least.

Why do they call it Earth logic when it seems that 90% of Earth's population doesn't use it?

[identity profile] mitsuhachi.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
I almost want to be insulted at the bi comment- we sistas got to stick together y'know- but.... then I think about who said it and I just... can't. I've been insulted by much more intelligent and intersting people than THAT.

[identity profile] mitsuhachi.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 02:41 am (UTC)(link)
Also, it's been a million years since last I braved the pit; is there something special to see the reviews? It says there are 14, but I only see 6.
ext_2686: (Muppets - the count von count)

[identity profile] stripedpetunia.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
If you're going to tattoo your right buttock, I think a target would be more helpful, so she knows where to aim her lips. ;)

[identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
... you're like... a target for idiots. *pets*

[identity profile] kiyakotari.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
**whimper** I tried, I really did. I just couldn't get any farther than the third paragraph of the actual text of the story. So I did a general critique (based off of those three paragraphs and the 'summary' she gave) and left it at that.

I'm in a fiction writing course right now at my college. That means I've been scribbling on HORRIBLE manuscripts of short stories from my classmates as we begin the drafting process. Most of them are not writers - they're taking the class to fulfill requirements for other degrees, or because they're mildly interested in fiction writing.

NONE of them have been as bad as that was, and THEY all had to build their worlds and characters from scratch.

**whimpers again**

i didn't read it

[identity profile] hiryuurei.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
i started to read it but it didn't really grab my attention. I mean i also have a mmf but it's not stolen it's my own thing so yeah that sucks she stole your story. Who does that? Reading someone's sotry and getting inspired is one thing but just stealing it is dirty and wrong. If she wanted to write a continuation or if she had ideas she should have told you. That's just dirty and wrong.

[identity profile] elict.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
..."ew"? So, it's "ew" to be bisexual now? *laughs* I'm so happy she thinks tso, because then she'll probably (hopefully) stay the hell away from me.

:3

I really, really need to read this story XD For your sake, I'll try not to go "HOLY CRAP NEVER WRITE AGAIN YOU SUCK!!!"-mode on her >__>''

[identity profile] mikkeneko.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
What a silly twit that is! Doesn't she know that bisexuals don't exist?
ext_9839: Yuko (Saying Goodbye)

[identity profile] lukita.livejournal.com 2007-01-26 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Looks like I'm late to the Plagiarist-chan part II party, hope she likes her crits, it's more than what she deserves.

[identity profile] teruame.livejournal.com 2007-01-27 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
Now that I have the time to make an adequate comment...because I was a bit too stunned to say anything at the time I first saw this.

So far...-checks email-...she hasn't responded to my review (then again, what I told her about the consequences of rape as a plot device wasn't pleasant), but I'll keep an eye out to see if she does at least make the attempt to edit her work. It's the least she could do from all the criticism we gave her. =/ If not...I will be strongly inclined to mourn for humanity.

[identity profile] bootoye.livejournal.com 2007-01-28 11:59 am (UTC)(link)
You responded to her again. o_0

I'm afraid that you have a leech that will not detach itself from you ever. (I don't think she know the meaning of 'no I don't wanna be your beta'^^)

I must say though that you are still being mostly polite and nice to her

Good Luck!!

[identity profile] questofdreams.livejournal.com 2007-01-28 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
...I took one look at it and backed out XD

Um. No. I'm afraid I don't have the patience to read and crit that XD She already got plenty from other pple already in any case.

Um...hopefully she takes the huge plowed-into-her-face hint and leaves you alone now. Although seriously, who knows if she will XD

You are

[identity profile] yuuzaiden.livejournal.com 2007-01-29 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Asuka
I have been reading your fanfiction and Lj for a while and have come to this conclusion.
You are a good person who writes damn well.
You give me hope for fanfiction writers in general, I think you are awesome.
Don't worry about idiots, they'll sort themselves out.
Keep writing and baing yourself, you'll be happier that way.

[identity profile] forbiddenartist.livejournal.com 2007-02-01 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
i'd almost feel sorry for her if i wasn't laughing so damn hard, the majority of her reviews are concrit, all of which is considerably longer than her actual fic, or she might be in ecstasy, so many people actually struggled to read it, well i hope that she listens to all of it and yours as well, but i still can't bring myself to read it, And i totally agree that she is a complete hypocrite