Entry tags:
*hiss*
... I. Loathe. Hypocrites.
I really. Really. Loathe them.
Reminded that she still hadn't answered to my wondering if she would take my concrit or ignore it because "it's not my fault my classmate wrote it/stole it/rewrote it and so I'm not responsible at all", I was checking on Plagiarist-chan's latest exploits. In one of her posts to her home-forum, she posts a link to her "so Sakura betrays Konoha for no reason and goes get herself raped by the akatsuki just so she can have twu wuv with itachi because sasuke is a dirty traitor and he sucks" story.
And then she adds a "JESUS CHRIST!!! OEN OF EM IS BISEXUAL!! READ HER PROFILE! EW!", actual quote, refering to one of the people who critted her story.
Dot, dot, motherfucking dot.
One, the crit is still perfectly valid.
Two, YOU FUCKING STOLE MY MALE/MALE/FEMALE GRAPHIC LEMON STORY AND YOU HAVE THE GALL TO GO EW AT SOMEONE FOR BEING BISEXUAL?!
Hypocrite, and a bigot. A hypocritical bigot. MMMM. DELICIOUS.
Here is her story. If you can stomach it and you don't mind wasting a half-hour on it, then please, crit it. Crit it good. Crit it HARD. I'm not telling you to flame it, hell, i'm telling you NOT to flame it. NO flames, NO personal attacks, NO "never write again" (even though personally I can't help but think it, it isn't anyone's place to tell anyone else so). Just polite, impartial critique on the story itself, what works and what doesn't and why it doesn't work, please. If you can't do that then please don't bother, I don't condone flaming anyone into the ground.
But she asked for concrit, and by god she's going to get it.
edit: oh, people, I love you so. T_______T ♥♥♥♥♥♥
edit the second: ... wow. She's got balls, I have to admit that.
penname: -Fallen.Uchiha.Angel-
profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1071827/
--------------------
no. i would not make another "its my friend" lie.
i just wondered if you do beta-ing. im not the best at writing.
^^;
=__= She just admitted to lying... did NOT apologize for it... and asked me to help anyway. Niiiiiice.
OF COURSE, HONEY-BABY. DO YOU WANT US TO GET MATCHING BFF-FOR-LIFE TATTOOS AS WELL? MY RIGHT BUTTOCK IS WAITING FOR YOUR NAME.
*grmbl*
edit the third:
You seem to have gotten a lot of nice, helpful concrit already, all of which I really agree with. When you write, just keep in mind to:
-spellcheck,
-never add author notes in the middle of the story because it breaks the flow and brings the reader out of the story,
-don't use fangirl japanese; if the word exists in english then use english. Japanese is only alright for names of places and things that don't translate like, for example, shuriken, sensei, -chan and -kun. Otherwise it makes you look retarded, and if you only know the words from some other fangirl and she got them wrong, then you'll look two times as retarded.
-always wonder "would this character really do this?" If they wouldn't, but you really want them to do it anyway, either find a good, convincing reason why, or find another way to get to the same result. Though I would advise you to find another plot entirely because disbelief only gets suspended so far.
-don't timewarp people from one scene to the next or a flashback to current time with only a "IN THIS OTHER PLACE"; either describe your character walking there, or put a scene divider and start with something like "Tsunade leaned against her desk." or "the forest was cold after dark." People are not stupid and will be able to guess that the scene has changed.
-don't use big words if you're not positive you know how to use them properly. You would look pretentious, and if you get them wrong, then you'll look stupid, too.
As for the rest, I don't want to be your regular beta, because "JESUS CHRIST! OEN OF EM IS BISEXUAL!! READ HER PROFILE! EW!" is particularly hypocritical coming from someone who stole and reposted a fic with GRAPHIC MALE/MALE AND MALE/FEMALE SEX. Yes, that means that in my story, NARUTO AND SASUKE HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER AS WELL AS WITH SAKURA. WICH YES, DOES MAKE THEM BISEXUAL.
I've been more than lenient with you -- you never apologized, either for stealing ot for lying to my face, and seriously you're getting on my nerves. As a writer to an aspiring writer, I'm telling you good luck and please use the advice you've gotten well. As a person to another person, I'm telling you that I frankly dislike you, and it would be a good idea to edit your post in that forum, because I WILL point out your gross hypocrisy and plagiarism for everyone on your forum to see.
I really. Really. Loathe them.
Reminded that she still hadn't answered to my wondering if she would take my concrit or ignore it because "it's not my fault my classmate wrote it/stole it/rewrote it and so I'm not responsible at all", I was checking on Plagiarist-chan's latest exploits. In one of her posts to her home-forum, she posts a link to her "so Sakura betrays Konoha for no reason and goes get herself raped by the akatsuki just so she can have twu wuv with itachi because sasuke is a dirty traitor and he sucks" story.
And then she adds a "JESUS CHRIST!!! OEN OF EM IS BISEXUAL!! READ HER PROFILE! EW!", actual quote, refering to one of the people who critted her story.
Dot, dot, motherfucking dot.
One, the crit is still perfectly valid.
Two, YOU FUCKING STOLE MY MALE/MALE/FEMALE GRAPHIC LEMON STORY AND YOU HAVE THE GALL TO GO EW AT SOMEONE FOR BEING BISEXUAL?!
Hypocrite, and a bigot. A hypocritical bigot. MMMM. DELICIOUS.
Here is her story. If you can stomach it and you don't mind wasting a half-hour on it, then please, crit it. Crit it good. Crit it HARD. I'm not telling you to flame it, hell, i'm telling you NOT to flame it. NO flames, NO personal attacks, NO "never write again" (even though personally I can't help but think it, it isn't anyone's place to tell anyone else so). Just polite, impartial critique on the story itself, what works and what doesn't and why it doesn't work, please. If you can't do that then please don't bother, I don't condone flaming anyone into the ground.
But she asked for concrit, and by god she's going to get it.
edit: oh, people, I love you so. T_______T ♥♥♥♥♥♥
edit the second: ... wow. She's got balls, I have to admit that.
penname: -Fallen.Uchiha.Angel-
profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1071827/
--------------------
no. i would not make another "its my friend" lie.
i just wondered if you do beta-ing. im not the best at writing.
^^;
=__= She just admitted to lying... did NOT apologize for it... and asked me to help anyway. Niiiiiice.
OF COURSE, HONEY-BABY. DO YOU WANT US TO GET MATCHING BFF-FOR-LIFE TATTOOS AS WELL? MY RIGHT BUTTOCK IS WAITING FOR YOUR NAME.
*grmbl*
edit the third:
You seem to have gotten a lot of nice, helpful concrit already, all of which I really agree with. When you write, just keep in mind to:
-spellcheck,
-never add author notes in the middle of the story because it breaks the flow and brings the reader out of the story,
-don't use fangirl japanese; if the word exists in english then use english. Japanese is only alright for names of places and things that don't translate like, for example, shuriken, sensei, -chan and -kun. Otherwise it makes you look retarded, and if you only know the words from some other fangirl and she got them wrong, then you'll look two times as retarded.
-always wonder "would this character really do this?" If they wouldn't, but you really want them to do it anyway, either find a good, convincing reason why, or find another way to get to the same result. Though I would advise you to find another plot entirely because disbelief only gets suspended so far.
-don't timewarp people from one scene to the next or a flashback to current time with only a "IN THIS OTHER PLACE"; either describe your character walking there, or put a scene divider and start with something like "Tsunade leaned against her desk." or "the forest was cold after dark." People are not stupid and will be able to guess that the scene has changed.
-don't use big words if you're not positive you know how to use them properly. You would look pretentious, and if you get them wrong, then you'll look stupid, too.
As for the rest, I don't want to be your regular beta, because "JESUS CHRIST! OEN OF EM IS BISEXUAL!! READ HER PROFILE! EW!" is particularly hypocritical coming from someone who stole and reposted a fic with GRAPHIC MALE/MALE AND MALE/FEMALE SEX. Yes, that means that in my story, NARUTO AND SASUKE HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER AS WELL AS WITH SAKURA. WICH YES, DOES MAKE THEM BISEXUAL.
I've been more than lenient with you -- you never apologized, either for stealing ot for lying to my face, and seriously you're getting on my nerves. As a writer to an aspiring writer, I'm telling you good luck and please use the advice you've gotten well. As a person to another person, I'm telling you that I frankly dislike you, and it would be a good idea to edit your post in that forum, because I WILL point out your gross hypocrisy and plagiarism for everyone on your forum to see.