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Teamwork 3 - chapter 8 - 2nd & last part.
Yeah, it's a short chapter compared to what I've done before, but there's a lot happening in it, so...
Note: it was written all in one big great rush, so there are some things (emotions, trains of thought) that might have seemed obvious to me at the time, but to a reader then wouldn't be. I've read it over a couple times since, but I can't be sure everything makes sense. Please please please tell me. This is only the first draft and I want it to be perfectly parfect. (but, note: some of sasuke's reasoning won't become obvious until next chapter because, well, right now he's not really reasoning much. In doubt, point it out anyway, I need to keep an eye out for those things, I'm not 100% sure it's fine!)
Previous. (posted yesterday, so you might have missed it.)
Sakura's arms were covered in ugly red blisters, cracked skin seeping blood. Even making a fist must have been painful. There was no time to coddle her; Sasuke grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her on her feet, pivoting to stand at her back before she was even done getting her footing.
Naruto howled out in rage and went flying at the Akatsuki again. Sasuke already knew how the attack would go -- a swipe of that huge, toothed sword, Naruto falling as his chakra ran out with the part of his body that had been hit like shredded meat, then another red-gold explosion and another crazy charge before flesh was even done sizzling closed.
It made Sasuke feel sick, no matter how fast he healed.
He'd been watching for an opening to get Gaara away from Kisame, which would leave Naruto free to go all-out, but Kisame... He was good, Sasuke reluctantly acknowledged. No opening to be found yet. Even wielding his sword one-handed against Naruto, the man was still smirking, almost indulgent, amused.
"Report," he gritted out.
Even without looking her way, he could feel Sakura bracing herself.
"Uchiha Itachi is here," she said, abrupt.
Ah.
... He'd known that. He had. The second he saw Hoshigaki Kisame he had known his brother would be there as well.
Hearing the words, though --
"We need to get Gaara back," Sakura said.
Sasuke shook his head. We? Gaara? He laughed, a dry little laugh that wasn't amused at all. Like they could worry about saving Gaara -- they had to save themselves first.
Itachi was here.
"Three to one and a hostage," she said, fast, clipped. "I don't know what he's doing but he'll come soon and we need to be four against two -- Sasuke-kun, focus!"
A harsh elbow in his ribs made him stiffen, more out of outrage than pain. He hissed between his clenched teeth, scanned the area Sakura had come hurtling from once again. His sharingan saw nothing, of course, not even the telltale off-colored blur of a genjutsu.
Naruto hurtled past again; Sakura took in a shuddering breath. The stifled pain in her voice -- Sasuke shook his head.
Sakura. Naruto.
His brother.
"It's a trap, we can't afford not to pay attention to--"
"We can't afford to just stay put and wait, we're not going to see it coming either way!"
... Shit. She was right. He hated it, but she was right. When Itachi -- when he showed up, Sasuke would attack, but in the meantime -- from the corner of his eye he watched Naruto fall again, belly like mincemeat, Kisame chuckle derisively.
His brother.
His teammates.
Snarling out his frustration, Sasuke turned on his heel, pulled out his last length of wire from his pocket, unspooled an arms' length of braided steel with his teeth..
"He uses water. Sword steals chakra. Can't close in or use jutsu."
He threaded the wire through a shuriken.
"Break the ground," he ordered. "Charge."
Sending Sakura in arm's reach -- he hated it. Her taijutsu just plain wasn't --
'Pretend I'm Naruto.'
With the way Kisame moved, he needed the sharingan to aim and that was it.
Pale with fatigue, she didn't say a word, didn't question him. Started to run. The chakra on her fist was demon-orange and unstable, lashing her with little licks of fire. Sasuke snarled. Even gluing his eyes to Kisame's every movement couldn't stop his sharingan seeing it.
Now Naruto was slowing down, blind rage dimmed for a kind of calculating predatory awareness -- feinting, low to the ground, right-left-pounce. The kind of testing feint a dog would do, the kind Kisame didn't buy for a minute.
Kept his attention just long enough that he was barely starting to glance over his shoulder when Sakura's fist hit the ground. Sasuke was already in the air, seeing the way the ground would break before it did, seeing the way Kisame would stumble -- just barely, before he righted himself.
He dodged the kunai Sasuke had sent flying with some fancy footwork, letting it thunk harmlessly in the ground.
When he landed his ankle brushed against the wire.
Sasuke let the Chidori flow down braided metal.
"Now!" he screamed, already charging after his teammates. Kisame had fallen on a knee, the hand he'd left on Gaara's back all along grabbing blindly for the sword. Sakura darted in from the back, claws snagging Gaara's collar and pulling.
The limp body was still in the middle of slipping off his shoulder when Kisame whirled on the spot, sword slashing with his momentum parallel to the ground, coming like a meteor at Sakura's middle.
Sasuke was too far.
Naruto wasn't. He landed on Kisame's back like a ton of bricks, all claws out, howling. Sasuke darted in, snatched Sakura's collar and yanked her and the unconscious body she was holding backward. He grabbed one of Gaara's arms and they both ran toward a nearby rock they could use as cover.
Gaara's arm felt weird under his hand, damp and grainy. Sasuke left it to Sakura to figure out; he dumped the unconscious ninja at the foot of the rock and turned to put his back to it. It wouldn't stop attacks from above or the front, but that was still something, one side he didn't need to watch.
His brother was still nowhere to be seen. The attack hadn't taken very long, fifteen seconds maybe -- but even then ...
Naruto and Kisame were still fighting -- more of a brawl than anything else; Naruto was under his guard now and clearly intended to stay there, slashing and doing his best to clamp his jaws on anything with accessible veins. Kisame punched hard, though; Sasuke watched Naruto's head snap to the side, and then a kick caught him under the ribs, sending him flying back in their direction. He rolled on the ground before landing back in a crouch, snarling. Sasuke didn't think he'd stopped at any point.
Someone was coughing behind him; wet, raw sounds, like he'd drowned at some point. Sasuke glanced back briefly, watched Sakura help Gaara sit.
"Can you fight?" he asked, over Sakura's "are you alright".
"Drained..." Gaara wiped damp sand off his arm, expression blank, not quite awake yet. "Can't move it wet. Too heavy."
Sasuke briefly considered scorching the sand armor dry. At this range the heat would probably do Gaara in.
"I'm going," he said, and took a couple steps away from their shelter. Sakura needed to rest and fix Gaara enough so he'd be useful, and he needed to help Naruto get rid of this guy before Itachi got bored and decided to intervene.
Itachi would probably intervene if his partner was about to get killed, actually.
It worked for Sasuke.
Behind him the ground trembled as Sakura punched rocks into dust for Gaara to use. He kept walking, until he was standing with Naruto.
"Hey, dumbass. You need to wake up now."
Naruto's long snarl was briefly interrupted by an irritated snort. Sasuke's lips twitched.
Heh. Maybe it would even work.
Beside him, Naruto raked his claws on the ground, eyes narrowed as he watched for an opening. Sasuke nodded faintly. If Naruto was aware of his actions then they could fight together, and together they weren't going to be so easily held off. Kisame seemed aware of it; he was bringing his sword in a blocking position, smug smirk replaced by a vaguely put-upon expression. His cloak was scorched and he was bleeding from quite a few bite and claw marks, though none of them looked deep enough to be debilitating.
Sasuke nodded slowly. An idea was taking form. "If you get him to let go of the sword..."
"Kisame," said a low, almost-soft voice at his back.
A block of ice had replaced Sasuke's entrails. He didn't remember turning, but there he was, facing the rock.
Sakura was leaning on one knee, green-gloved hands on Gaara's back, Gaara's head hanging low with exhaustion as he gathered sand to him, tendril after thin tendril.
On top of the rock his brother stood, gazing at the battlefield. Their eyes met.
Sasuke couldn't breathe through the rage and the --
Rage. Just rage, just hate, and outrage, how dare he show his face -- how dare he!
"We're running out of time," his brother said dispassionately, eyes gliding away from his as if he weren't worth stopping for, as if he'd been weighed and found not worth the bother. Sasuke's hands started shaking.
Not again, he wasn't going to be dismissed again, never again.
"We'll have to make do with only one tailed beast today."
Ignoring Kisame's halfhearted grumbling protest and Naruto's snarled "Like fuck!", Itachi tilted his head, looked down at Gaara. Sakura jerked into movement, snatched the redhead's arm and threw herself backward. She stumbled, landed on her ass, still dragging Gaara along, and he wanted to yell at her to let him go, damn it, just run out of range but there were too many other words already in his throat and none of them were addressed to her.
Gaara did it for her, sweeping her aside with his arm, and for that a small part of Sasuke thought he would try to keep him alive, if he could, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to spare the attention.
"Yes, yes," said Kisame behind him, even as rocks shifted under his feet. "We can't allow the girl to keep taking chakra from the tailed beast either."
He sounded... patient, a little amused as he gave his own reminder.
Sakura was still sitting where Gaara had knocked her aside, pale with blood and chakra loss, pink hair in disarray, head tilted up to stare at Itachi.
"That is true," Itachi said quietly, and dived for her, katana first.
There was no thought. (fathermotherauntieSAKURA)
It didn't even hurt when the sword dug into his back. It was just cold. He twisted to the side. If it was deep enough (he couldn't tell) he might manage to tear it out of Itachi's hand, counterattack.
He failed. The blade went out. Blood trailed warm tracks down his side. He shifted higher up Sakura's body, so his upper chest would catch headshots, so if his brother went for Sasuke's heart then Sakura's belly would--
"The child," Itachi said behind him -- slow, like a revelation.
Sasuke couldn't breathe.
"The rumors were wrong. It isn't Naruto-kun's. It's yours."
Under him Sakura was struggling to push him off. She wasn't going to manage, he was never going to move, he was going to die here, he wasn't going to move.
"Let go, let go," she was saying in between two dry sobs. He couldn't see her face.
He waited for another strike but instead, "Sasuke," said his brother's voice, and then the ground exploded.
No more ground under them. Reflex -- he tried to twist, to control their fall.
It was like being stabbed again. Except this time around it hurt. Things went dark for... a second, maybe two. No more, right? He couldn't afford more. He clawed his way back to consciousness, but the ground -- on the ground again? Hadn't felt the impact. Not a bad thing.
Ground was moving. Bad thing.
Sakura was trying to squirm free. No.
"No," he said. His voice was weak. Strange.
"Stop moving, Uchiha," snapped a strained voice. He didn't recognize it right away.
Wasn't his brother. Wasn't Naruto. Wasn't Kisame. Didn't leave much choice.
"Sasuke-kun, we're safe, let go. We're safe."
He didn't believe her, but he was on his side and that wasn't going to protect her. He rolled -- oh fuck, his back, it was bleeding. Sakura screeched something under him but he didn't listen until he was shielding her again, and then there was a man's hand on the back of his neck to hold him in place. He opened his eyes on reflex, ready to fight. Try to.
He could see the ground over Sakura's shoulder, but it was very far down.
"...Why is there a valley there?" he asked. He was sure they'd been nowhere near close to one.
Wasn't really a valley. Just... a hollow shaped like a half-sphere, perfectly smooth, like the inside of a big bowl. Maybe fifty steps across. It had chewed up a corner of the riverbed, and little rivulets were making their way down. Soon there would be a perfectly circular pond.
Neither Sakura nor Gaara had to answer, because then Naruto did it again.
It was huge, the biggest Rasengan Naruto had ever made and by far. It was red, and it didn't swirl so much like a ball twirled on a fingertip than like the eye of a storm. It hit the ground between Itachi and Kisame and the shockwave made whatever Sasuke and the other two rested on wobble. Gaara winced, tugging on their clothes to bring them closer.
Sasuke saw the edge of his sand platform fraying under the effort, and went without protesting, until he was pressed against the redhead's legs. He shoved Sakura straight onto his lap, because Gaara would be the last thing Gaara's sand allowed to fall, wasn't it?
The Akatsuki pair had dodged, again, but the shockwave had caught them too, flinging them backward. Itachi flipped in midair, landed on the first, growing pond. Kisame --
Held his sword in front of his face, and even if he was thrown back as well, the shockwave lost strength on his side and then he was charging again, well before Naruto had managed to reload.
Sasuke tried to jump, but Sakura was the one who wouldn't let him go now, and when he struggled Gaara's sand wrapped around his arms and pulled him back down. They were all yelling at each other but he couldn't even hear himself, he was deaf from the explosion. Naruto would be deaf to his warnings too.
When he looked down again Naruto was kneeling at the bottom of the second bowl, Kisame standing right behind him, the edge of Kisame's sword pressed under his chin.
No.
No, stupid bastard, run, Sasuke would give them Gaara instead if they wanted a demon bearer -- he'd give them Gaara instead and then he'd beat up Naruto for allowing this, for letting himself be taken to keep them safe, he'd -- no, no, no.
Dust swirled amongst the massive clouds the Kyuubi-powered Rasengan had lifted. Itachi, Sasuke thought with despair.
Instead three dogs burst out, maws wide open.
Sasuke stopped moving, watched, vaguely aware his mouth was open, as the dogs went low, snapping at Kisame's ankles. And then stone burst open behind the man as he stumbled, someone surging out and stabbing straight for his unprotected back with lightning in his hand.
Kisame stumbled forward, tripped by Naruto's kneeling body, did an odd little jump to catch himself into a crouch. Naruto slumped to the ground like a felled tree.
Kakashi charged again, his dogs with him in perfect synch. Water rose from the river to blast them away.
Another man burst out of the dust, and then a second and a third on his heels, and none of them were wearing black and red.
Sasuke's view was blurring. He squinted. Wasn't safe yet. He had to watch, know what was going on down there. He closed his eyes for barely one second and when he opened them again Kisame was bleeding from another three wounds on top of Kakashi's shoulder hit.
He saw his brother look up at the three of them for a fraction of second as he swept through the group and caught his stumbling teammate, but before Sasuke could make sense of that look, Itachi had exploded into crows and disappeared along with his partner.
Sakura's hand was gripping his wrist so hard Sasuke couldn't feel it anymore.
He watched jounin and ANBU of a half-dozen villages gather around the twin bowls as they scanned the area with a sense of complete surreality. Kakashi's dogs were sniffing around, and even from up there he could tell they were grumpy from losing the track. It couldn't be over, could it? It was never over, not with his brother.
He was so exhausted he didn't realize right away he wasn't simply passing out when the world swayed under him; and then they were falling from the sky.
He thought absently that it was really kind of high, especially with a big hole in the ground right underneath. Stupid Naruto.
"Oof. You're a bony little fuck, aren't you."
Some woman he didn't know had caught him in mid-air. The way they'd landed, Sasuke's elbow was digging in her ribs. Whatever. Wasn't his brother or Kisame. Wasn't his teammates. He didn't give a damn.
"Medic!"
"They all need a medic! What's yours got?"
Someone tapped his shoulder. Sasuke cracked an eye open to glare at the jounin, who snorted in amusement. She didn't top Morino Ibiki from Konoha's Interrogation Division about facial scars, but she seemed to be gearing up to the attempt. Sasuke halfheartedly considered giving her another one if she didn't let him rest.
Too much effort. "Stab wound. Back."
Someone else was leaning over him, with an Earth Country ANBU mask and green-glowing hands. The green seeped down into him, cooling the pain until he could barely feel it. "Uh huh. What else?"
He considered it. "... Dunno. Tired." He was sure he'd feel it later. Wasn't like Sakura's burned hands or Naruto's -- whatever he'd done to himself. That idiot.
"Yeah, that stab wound is really neat, I should have it closed in no time." It was? He'd moved around. He'd expected worse. "You should just try to sleep in the meantiHEY."
The ANBU medic grabbed his shoulder to push him back down on his side. Sasuke slapped his hand away and scanned the area. Kakashi -- ahh. Standing over Naruto. Naruto was moving -- slowly, but moving. Sakura...
She was close by. She'd apparently fallen closer to Gaara than he had, because the same person had to catch them both and now they were barely an arm's length apart. Someone was fixing her hands, clucking something about the bones. Sasuke rolled on hands and knees, grunting a little when his wound gave a little spurt of fresh blood. Sakura was the closest so that was where he went.
"... Hey."
His throat felt raw. He must have been screaming. He didn't really remember hearing himself.
For a few very long seconds Sakura stared at him, through him. She tugged a hand free from the medic and for a moment Sasuke was sure she was going to slap him.
Her hand caught his shirt instead and tugged. He went, crawling a step closer, two, and then sitting next to her.
"What the hell were you thinking," she whispered, staring ahead into nothing. Sasuke stared that way too, because why not. "He could have killed you. I don't understand how he didn't kill you."
"Mmh," said Sasuke, because there was nothing else to say.
Naruto was stumbling his way to them, punch-drunk, snarling at everyone who tried to get in the middle. He slumped on his knees in front of them, demon-red eyes traveling from Sasuke's face to Sakura's to Gaara's.
He only had two hands, so he grabbed Sasuke and Gaara's unconscious body and did his best to pull everyone into his lap. Or maybe crawl on theirs. It was hard to tell. Sasuke briefly passed out when Naruto's hand pressed too close to his wound; when he opened his eyes again he was slumped on Naruto's shoulder, so he didn't bother to move.
Sakura was curled up right next to him, bent over Gaara's upper body on Naruto's lap so she could tuck her head under Naruto's chin. Looked uncomfortable. Naruto was murmuring something in Sasuke's hair, he wasn't sure what.
"Kids?"
Sasuke grunted halfheartedly in answer to Kakashi's voice. He opened an eye to look over Naruto's shoulder, and Kakashi was there, sitting in a crouch and looking all... cautious. Subdued.
"You're going to have to stop the human ball attempt if you want to be healed."
Naruto growled, a sound more animal than human. No need to clarify that, so Sasuke closed his eyes again. He could feel Sakura move against his side, reluctant. Naruto didn't want to let her go.
"Look at my hands, Naruto. I need the healer, okay? ... Sasuke and Gaara probably do as well."
Sasuke snorted, eyes still closed. Just a little stab wound. He didn't need anything.
Someone moved closer. "Your teammate is right. The Kazekage--"
"I'll kill you," Naruto rasped out. Movement stopped.
Sasuke opened his eyes, met Sakura's. Sighed. Sakura's hands were a burned ruin, so he lifted his own to poke Naruto's chest for her.
"Shut up, stupid."
"They've got to evacuate us," Sakura said. "They can't if -- you have to let go. Okay?"
Stubborn, Naruto didn't move.
"Naruto, it really hurts," she whispered, almost like she was ashamed of her weakness. Naruto made a whimpery sound like a kicked puppy and his arm fell from her shoulder.
Sakura unfolded slowly, staring at his face. Naruto stared back. Sasuke watched them, half-conscious and trying to think of nothing.
He didn't want to think of anything, because otherwise he'd start thinking about his brother and how once again he wasn't worth killing.
How he'd been so weak, how little he had grown, that the only way he was useful was as a meat shield. How he'd been pulled to safety while Naruto fought for them. How Itachi...
"Sasuke?" Kakashi's quiet voice called. "Open your eyes for the medic, Sasuke. Any spinal trauma?"
A muscle in his jaw twitched. "No. ... No trauma."
"Alright. Naruto, help me put him down on the stretcher, and then you can go to your own stretcher."
A growl.
"This is not open for discussion, Naruto."
Another growl, more like a grumble, and hands tilted him down onto rough cloth.
"The kids," Sakura said suddenly. "The kids. That way. Three kids. One of them was..."
Her voice faltered.
"Hurt," she finished, voice quiet. "Impaled. Pretty bad."
Sasuke felt blindly for Naruto with his hand. He wasn't in arm's range anymore, so Sasuke kicked out.
"-- Ow."
"Lay down on your fucking stretcher. Sakura too. If I have to..."
Fuck but he just wanted to sleep. He could feel it coming, inescapable darkness, gently, stubbornly pulling him down.
... He was forgetting something. What was he forgetting?
Oh, that he never wanted to see this fucking island in his life ever again.
"Wait," he said, and grabbed for Kakashi's jacket. Kakashi allowed it, watching him with an eyebrow arched, and allowed Sasuke to nudge him back a second later as well. "Okay... Hey, scar-face."
The woman who'd caught him in midair was still nearby. She snorted, came and leaned over him. "Yep?"
Sasuke squinted up. "Jounin-sensei?"
"Yeah?"
He reached out -- his hand weighed a ton.
"...Lemme guess," she said, staring at the hand on her breast. "You want me to put you out of your misery."
Sasuke snorted. Like he could aim, with his eyesight fuzzy as shit and the blood loss. He let his hand slide down the green jacket. It was so thick he bet she hadn't felt anything anyway.
His hand fell back on his own chest. The eighth and ninth tokens gleamed copper-bright between his fingers.
There, now they had enough of the bastards that the whole thing wouldn't be a complete waste. " 'Kay. Now get us out."
He passed out before he could tell whether or not they'd obeyed.
--
END OF CHAPTER
--
I am so sorry for ruining the serious mood. SO sorry. (except, you know, not really. This fic's been emo for WAY too long now. :p )
Omake:
"The child," Itachi said behind him -- slowly, like a revelation. "The rumors were wrong. It isn't Naruto-kun's. It's yours."
Sasuke froze.
"I admit I'm surprised," said Itachi. "I had the notion you were gay."
"OH, FUCK YOU, MASCARA MAN."
Note: it was written all in one big great rush, so there are some things (emotions, trains of thought) that might have seemed obvious to me at the time, but to a reader then wouldn't be. I've read it over a couple times since, but I can't be sure everything makes sense. Please please please tell me. This is only the first draft and I want it to be perfectly parfect. (but, note: some of sasuke's reasoning won't become obvious until next chapter because, well, right now he's not really reasoning much. In doubt, point it out anyway, I need to keep an eye out for those things, I'm not 100% sure it's fine!)
Previous. (posted yesterday, so you might have missed it.)
Sakura's arms were covered in ugly red blisters, cracked skin seeping blood. Even making a fist must have been painful. There was no time to coddle her; Sasuke grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her on her feet, pivoting to stand at her back before she was even done getting her footing.
Naruto howled out in rage and went flying at the Akatsuki again. Sasuke already knew how the attack would go -- a swipe of that huge, toothed sword, Naruto falling as his chakra ran out with the part of his body that had been hit like shredded meat, then another red-gold explosion and another crazy charge before flesh was even done sizzling closed.
It made Sasuke feel sick, no matter how fast he healed.
He'd been watching for an opening to get Gaara away from Kisame, which would leave Naruto free to go all-out, but Kisame... He was good, Sasuke reluctantly acknowledged. No opening to be found yet. Even wielding his sword one-handed against Naruto, the man was still smirking, almost indulgent, amused.
"Report," he gritted out.
Even without looking her way, he could feel Sakura bracing herself.
"Uchiha Itachi is here," she said, abrupt.
Ah.
... He'd known that. He had. The second he saw Hoshigaki Kisame he had known his brother would be there as well.
Hearing the words, though --
"We need to get Gaara back," Sakura said.
Sasuke shook his head. We? Gaara? He laughed, a dry little laugh that wasn't amused at all. Like they could worry about saving Gaara -- they had to save themselves first.
Itachi was here.
"Three to one and a hostage," she said, fast, clipped. "I don't know what he's doing but he'll come soon and we need to be four against two -- Sasuke-kun, focus!"
A harsh elbow in his ribs made him stiffen, more out of outrage than pain. He hissed between his clenched teeth, scanned the area Sakura had come hurtling from once again. His sharingan saw nothing, of course, not even the telltale off-colored blur of a genjutsu.
Naruto hurtled past again; Sakura took in a shuddering breath. The stifled pain in her voice -- Sasuke shook his head.
Sakura. Naruto.
His brother.
"It's a trap, we can't afford not to pay attention to--"
"We can't afford to just stay put and wait, we're not going to see it coming either way!"
... Shit. She was right. He hated it, but she was right. When Itachi -- when he showed up, Sasuke would attack, but in the meantime -- from the corner of his eye he watched Naruto fall again, belly like mincemeat, Kisame chuckle derisively.
His brother.
His teammates.
Snarling out his frustration, Sasuke turned on his heel, pulled out his last length of wire from his pocket, unspooled an arms' length of braided steel with his teeth..
"He uses water. Sword steals chakra. Can't close in or use jutsu."
He threaded the wire through a shuriken.
"Break the ground," he ordered. "Charge."
Sending Sakura in arm's reach -- he hated it. Her taijutsu just plain wasn't --
'Pretend I'm Naruto.'
With the way Kisame moved, he needed the sharingan to aim and that was it.
Pale with fatigue, she didn't say a word, didn't question him. Started to run. The chakra on her fist was demon-orange and unstable, lashing her with little licks of fire. Sasuke snarled. Even gluing his eyes to Kisame's every movement couldn't stop his sharingan seeing it.
Now Naruto was slowing down, blind rage dimmed for a kind of calculating predatory awareness -- feinting, low to the ground, right-left-pounce. The kind of testing feint a dog would do, the kind Kisame didn't buy for a minute.
Kept his attention just long enough that he was barely starting to glance over his shoulder when Sakura's fist hit the ground. Sasuke was already in the air, seeing the way the ground would break before it did, seeing the way Kisame would stumble -- just barely, before he righted himself.
He dodged the kunai Sasuke had sent flying with some fancy footwork, letting it thunk harmlessly in the ground.
When he landed his ankle brushed against the wire.
Sasuke let the Chidori flow down braided metal.
"Now!" he screamed, already charging after his teammates. Kisame had fallen on a knee, the hand he'd left on Gaara's back all along grabbing blindly for the sword. Sakura darted in from the back, claws snagging Gaara's collar and pulling.
The limp body was still in the middle of slipping off his shoulder when Kisame whirled on the spot, sword slashing with his momentum parallel to the ground, coming like a meteor at Sakura's middle.
Sasuke was too far.
Naruto wasn't. He landed on Kisame's back like a ton of bricks, all claws out, howling. Sasuke darted in, snatched Sakura's collar and yanked her and the unconscious body she was holding backward. He grabbed one of Gaara's arms and they both ran toward a nearby rock they could use as cover.
Gaara's arm felt weird under his hand, damp and grainy. Sasuke left it to Sakura to figure out; he dumped the unconscious ninja at the foot of the rock and turned to put his back to it. It wouldn't stop attacks from above or the front, but that was still something, one side he didn't need to watch.
His brother was still nowhere to be seen. The attack hadn't taken very long, fifteen seconds maybe -- but even then ...
Naruto and Kisame were still fighting -- more of a brawl than anything else; Naruto was under his guard now and clearly intended to stay there, slashing and doing his best to clamp his jaws on anything with accessible veins. Kisame punched hard, though; Sasuke watched Naruto's head snap to the side, and then a kick caught him under the ribs, sending him flying back in their direction. He rolled on the ground before landing back in a crouch, snarling. Sasuke didn't think he'd stopped at any point.
Someone was coughing behind him; wet, raw sounds, like he'd drowned at some point. Sasuke glanced back briefly, watched Sakura help Gaara sit.
"Can you fight?" he asked, over Sakura's "are you alright".
"Drained..." Gaara wiped damp sand off his arm, expression blank, not quite awake yet. "Can't move it wet. Too heavy."
Sasuke briefly considered scorching the sand armor dry. At this range the heat would probably do Gaara in.
"I'm going," he said, and took a couple steps away from their shelter. Sakura needed to rest and fix Gaara enough so he'd be useful, and he needed to help Naruto get rid of this guy before Itachi got bored and decided to intervene.
Itachi would probably intervene if his partner was about to get killed, actually.
It worked for Sasuke.
Behind him the ground trembled as Sakura punched rocks into dust for Gaara to use. He kept walking, until he was standing with Naruto.
"Hey, dumbass. You need to wake up now."
Naruto's long snarl was briefly interrupted by an irritated snort. Sasuke's lips twitched.
Heh. Maybe it would even work.
Beside him, Naruto raked his claws on the ground, eyes narrowed as he watched for an opening. Sasuke nodded faintly. If Naruto was aware of his actions then they could fight together, and together they weren't going to be so easily held off. Kisame seemed aware of it; he was bringing his sword in a blocking position, smug smirk replaced by a vaguely put-upon expression. His cloak was scorched and he was bleeding from quite a few bite and claw marks, though none of them looked deep enough to be debilitating.
Sasuke nodded slowly. An idea was taking form. "If you get him to let go of the sword..."
"Kisame," said a low, almost-soft voice at his back.
A block of ice had replaced Sasuke's entrails. He didn't remember turning, but there he was, facing the rock.
Sakura was leaning on one knee, green-gloved hands on Gaara's back, Gaara's head hanging low with exhaustion as he gathered sand to him, tendril after thin tendril.
On top of the rock his brother stood, gazing at the battlefield. Their eyes met.
Sasuke couldn't breathe through the rage and the --
Rage. Just rage, just hate, and outrage, how dare he show his face -- how dare he!
"We're running out of time," his brother said dispassionately, eyes gliding away from his as if he weren't worth stopping for, as if he'd been weighed and found not worth the bother. Sasuke's hands started shaking.
Not again, he wasn't going to be dismissed again, never again.
"We'll have to make do with only one tailed beast today."
Ignoring Kisame's halfhearted grumbling protest and Naruto's snarled "Like fuck!", Itachi tilted his head, looked down at Gaara. Sakura jerked into movement, snatched the redhead's arm and threw herself backward. She stumbled, landed on her ass, still dragging Gaara along, and he wanted to yell at her to let him go, damn it, just run out of range but there were too many other words already in his throat and none of them were addressed to her.
Gaara did it for her, sweeping her aside with his arm, and for that a small part of Sasuke thought he would try to keep him alive, if he could, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to spare the attention.
"Yes, yes," said Kisame behind him, even as rocks shifted under his feet. "We can't allow the girl to keep taking chakra from the tailed beast either."
He sounded... patient, a little amused as he gave his own reminder.
Sakura was still sitting where Gaara had knocked her aside, pale with blood and chakra loss, pink hair in disarray, head tilted up to stare at Itachi.
"That is true," Itachi said quietly, and dived for her, katana first.
There was no thought. (fathermotherauntieSAKURA)
It didn't even hurt when the sword dug into his back. It was just cold. He twisted to the side. If it was deep enough (he couldn't tell) he might manage to tear it out of Itachi's hand, counterattack.
He failed. The blade went out. Blood trailed warm tracks down his side. He shifted higher up Sakura's body, so his upper chest would catch headshots, so if his brother went for Sasuke's heart then Sakura's belly would--
"The child," Itachi said behind him -- slow, like a revelation.
Sasuke couldn't breathe.
"The rumors were wrong. It isn't Naruto-kun's. It's yours."
Under him Sakura was struggling to push him off. She wasn't going to manage, he was never going to move, he was going to die here, he wasn't going to move.
"Let go, let go," she was saying in between two dry sobs. He couldn't see her face.
He waited for another strike but instead, "Sasuke," said his brother's voice, and then the ground exploded.
No more ground under them. Reflex -- he tried to twist, to control their fall.
It was like being stabbed again. Except this time around it hurt. Things went dark for... a second, maybe two. No more, right? He couldn't afford more. He clawed his way back to consciousness, but the ground -- on the ground again? Hadn't felt the impact. Not a bad thing.
Ground was moving. Bad thing.
Sakura was trying to squirm free. No.
"No," he said. His voice was weak. Strange.
"Stop moving, Uchiha," snapped a strained voice. He didn't recognize it right away.
Wasn't his brother. Wasn't Naruto. Wasn't Kisame. Didn't leave much choice.
"Sasuke-kun, we're safe, let go. We're safe."
He didn't believe her, but he was on his side and that wasn't going to protect her. He rolled -- oh fuck, his back, it was bleeding. Sakura screeched something under him but he didn't listen until he was shielding her again, and then there was a man's hand on the back of his neck to hold him in place. He opened his eyes on reflex, ready to fight. Try to.
He could see the ground over Sakura's shoulder, but it was very far down.
"...Why is there a valley there?" he asked. He was sure they'd been nowhere near close to one.
Wasn't really a valley. Just... a hollow shaped like a half-sphere, perfectly smooth, like the inside of a big bowl. Maybe fifty steps across. It had chewed up a corner of the riverbed, and little rivulets were making their way down. Soon there would be a perfectly circular pond.
Neither Sakura nor Gaara had to answer, because then Naruto did it again.
It was huge, the biggest Rasengan Naruto had ever made and by far. It was red, and it didn't swirl so much like a ball twirled on a fingertip than like the eye of a storm. It hit the ground between Itachi and Kisame and the shockwave made whatever Sasuke and the other two rested on wobble. Gaara winced, tugging on their clothes to bring them closer.
Sasuke saw the edge of his sand platform fraying under the effort, and went without protesting, until he was pressed against the redhead's legs. He shoved Sakura straight onto his lap, because Gaara would be the last thing Gaara's sand allowed to fall, wasn't it?
The Akatsuki pair had dodged, again, but the shockwave had caught them too, flinging them backward. Itachi flipped in midair, landed on the first, growing pond. Kisame --
Held his sword in front of his face, and even if he was thrown back as well, the shockwave lost strength on his side and then he was charging again, well before Naruto had managed to reload.
Sasuke tried to jump, but Sakura was the one who wouldn't let him go now, and when he struggled Gaara's sand wrapped around his arms and pulled him back down. They were all yelling at each other but he couldn't even hear himself, he was deaf from the explosion. Naruto would be deaf to his warnings too.
When he looked down again Naruto was kneeling at the bottom of the second bowl, Kisame standing right behind him, the edge of Kisame's sword pressed under his chin.
No.
No, stupid bastard, run, Sasuke would give them Gaara instead if they wanted a demon bearer -- he'd give them Gaara instead and then he'd beat up Naruto for allowing this, for letting himself be taken to keep them safe, he'd -- no, no, no.
Dust swirled amongst the massive clouds the Kyuubi-powered Rasengan had lifted. Itachi, Sasuke thought with despair.
Instead three dogs burst out, maws wide open.
Sasuke stopped moving, watched, vaguely aware his mouth was open, as the dogs went low, snapping at Kisame's ankles. And then stone burst open behind the man as he stumbled, someone surging out and stabbing straight for his unprotected back with lightning in his hand.
Kisame stumbled forward, tripped by Naruto's kneeling body, did an odd little jump to catch himself into a crouch. Naruto slumped to the ground like a felled tree.
Kakashi charged again, his dogs with him in perfect synch. Water rose from the river to blast them away.
Another man burst out of the dust, and then a second and a third on his heels, and none of them were wearing black and red.
Sasuke's view was blurring. He squinted. Wasn't safe yet. He had to watch, know what was going on down there. He closed his eyes for barely one second and when he opened them again Kisame was bleeding from another three wounds on top of Kakashi's shoulder hit.
He saw his brother look up at the three of them for a fraction of second as he swept through the group and caught his stumbling teammate, but before Sasuke could make sense of that look, Itachi had exploded into crows and disappeared along with his partner.
Sakura's hand was gripping his wrist so hard Sasuke couldn't feel it anymore.
He watched jounin and ANBU of a half-dozen villages gather around the twin bowls as they scanned the area with a sense of complete surreality. Kakashi's dogs were sniffing around, and even from up there he could tell they were grumpy from losing the track. It couldn't be over, could it? It was never over, not with his brother.
He was so exhausted he didn't realize right away he wasn't simply passing out when the world swayed under him; and then they were falling from the sky.
He thought absently that it was really kind of high, especially with a big hole in the ground right underneath. Stupid Naruto.
"Oof. You're a bony little fuck, aren't you."
Some woman he didn't know had caught him in mid-air. The way they'd landed, Sasuke's elbow was digging in her ribs. Whatever. Wasn't his brother or Kisame. Wasn't his teammates. He didn't give a damn.
"Medic!"
"They all need a medic! What's yours got?"
Someone tapped his shoulder. Sasuke cracked an eye open to glare at the jounin, who snorted in amusement. She didn't top Morino Ibiki from Konoha's Interrogation Division about facial scars, but she seemed to be gearing up to the attempt. Sasuke halfheartedly considered giving her another one if she didn't let him rest.
Too much effort. "Stab wound. Back."
Someone else was leaning over him, with an Earth Country ANBU mask and green-glowing hands. The green seeped down into him, cooling the pain until he could barely feel it. "Uh huh. What else?"
He considered it. "... Dunno. Tired." He was sure he'd feel it later. Wasn't like Sakura's burned hands or Naruto's -- whatever he'd done to himself. That idiot.
"Yeah, that stab wound is really neat, I should have it closed in no time." It was? He'd moved around. He'd expected worse. "You should just try to sleep in the meantiHEY."
The ANBU medic grabbed his shoulder to push him back down on his side. Sasuke slapped his hand away and scanned the area. Kakashi -- ahh. Standing over Naruto. Naruto was moving -- slowly, but moving. Sakura...
She was close by. She'd apparently fallen closer to Gaara than he had, because the same person had to catch them both and now they were barely an arm's length apart. Someone was fixing her hands, clucking something about the bones. Sasuke rolled on hands and knees, grunting a little when his wound gave a little spurt of fresh blood. Sakura was the closest so that was where he went.
"... Hey."
His throat felt raw. He must have been screaming. He didn't really remember hearing himself.
For a few very long seconds Sakura stared at him, through him. She tugged a hand free from the medic and for a moment Sasuke was sure she was going to slap him.
Her hand caught his shirt instead and tugged. He went, crawling a step closer, two, and then sitting next to her.
"What the hell were you thinking," she whispered, staring ahead into nothing. Sasuke stared that way too, because why not. "He could have killed you. I don't understand how he didn't kill you."
"Mmh," said Sasuke, because there was nothing else to say.
Naruto was stumbling his way to them, punch-drunk, snarling at everyone who tried to get in the middle. He slumped on his knees in front of them, demon-red eyes traveling from Sasuke's face to Sakura's to Gaara's.
He only had two hands, so he grabbed Sasuke and Gaara's unconscious body and did his best to pull everyone into his lap. Or maybe crawl on theirs. It was hard to tell. Sasuke briefly passed out when Naruto's hand pressed too close to his wound; when he opened his eyes again he was slumped on Naruto's shoulder, so he didn't bother to move.
Sakura was curled up right next to him, bent over Gaara's upper body on Naruto's lap so she could tuck her head under Naruto's chin. Looked uncomfortable. Naruto was murmuring something in Sasuke's hair, he wasn't sure what.
"Kids?"
Sasuke grunted halfheartedly in answer to Kakashi's voice. He opened an eye to look over Naruto's shoulder, and Kakashi was there, sitting in a crouch and looking all... cautious. Subdued.
"You're going to have to stop the human ball attempt if you want to be healed."
Naruto growled, a sound more animal than human. No need to clarify that, so Sasuke closed his eyes again. He could feel Sakura move against his side, reluctant. Naruto didn't want to let her go.
"Look at my hands, Naruto. I need the healer, okay? ... Sasuke and Gaara probably do as well."
Sasuke snorted, eyes still closed. Just a little stab wound. He didn't need anything.
Someone moved closer. "Your teammate is right. The Kazekage--"
"I'll kill you," Naruto rasped out. Movement stopped.
Sasuke opened his eyes, met Sakura's. Sighed. Sakura's hands were a burned ruin, so he lifted his own to poke Naruto's chest for her.
"Shut up, stupid."
"They've got to evacuate us," Sakura said. "They can't if -- you have to let go. Okay?"
Stubborn, Naruto didn't move.
"Naruto, it really hurts," she whispered, almost like she was ashamed of her weakness. Naruto made a whimpery sound like a kicked puppy and his arm fell from her shoulder.
Sakura unfolded slowly, staring at his face. Naruto stared back. Sasuke watched them, half-conscious and trying to think of nothing.
He didn't want to think of anything, because otherwise he'd start thinking about his brother and how once again he wasn't worth killing.
How he'd been so weak, how little he had grown, that the only way he was useful was as a meat shield. How he'd been pulled to safety while Naruto fought for them. How Itachi...
"Sasuke?" Kakashi's quiet voice called. "Open your eyes for the medic, Sasuke. Any spinal trauma?"
A muscle in his jaw twitched. "No. ... No trauma."
"Alright. Naruto, help me put him down on the stretcher, and then you can go to your own stretcher."
A growl.
"This is not open for discussion, Naruto."
Another growl, more like a grumble, and hands tilted him down onto rough cloth.
"The kids," Sakura said suddenly. "The kids. That way. Three kids. One of them was..."
Her voice faltered.
"Hurt," she finished, voice quiet. "Impaled. Pretty bad."
Sasuke felt blindly for Naruto with his hand. He wasn't in arm's range anymore, so Sasuke kicked out.
"-- Ow."
"Lay down on your fucking stretcher. Sakura too. If I have to..."
Fuck but he just wanted to sleep. He could feel it coming, inescapable darkness, gently, stubbornly pulling him down.
... He was forgetting something. What was he forgetting?
Oh, that he never wanted to see this fucking island in his life ever again.
"Wait," he said, and grabbed for Kakashi's jacket. Kakashi allowed it, watching him with an eyebrow arched, and allowed Sasuke to nudge him back a second later as well. "Okay... Hey, scar-face."
The woman who'd caught him in midair was still nearby. She snorted, came and leaned over him. "Yep?"
Sasuke squinted up. "Jounin-sensei?"
"Yeah?"
He reached out -- his hand weighed a ton.
"...Lemme guess," she said, staring at the hand on her breast. "You want me to put you out of your misery."
Sasuke snorted. Like he could aim, with his eyesight fuzzy as shit and the blood loss. He let his hand slide down the green jacket. It was so thick he bet she hadn't felt anything anyway.
His hand fell back on his own chest. The eighth and ninth tokens gleamed copper-bright between his fingers.
There, now they had enough of the bastards that the whole thing wouldn't be a complete waste. " 'Kay. Now get us out."
He passed out before he could tell whether or not they'd obeyed.
--
END OF CHAPTER
--
I am so sorry for ruining the serious mood. SO sorry. (except, you know, not really. This fic's been emo for WAY too long now. :p )
Omake:
"The child," Itachi said behind him -- slowly, like a revelation. "The rumors were wrong. It isn't Naruto-kun's. It's yours."
Sasuke froze.
"I admit I'm surprised," said Itachi. "I had the notion you were gay."
"OH, FUCK YOU, MASCARA MAN."
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*Puuuurs* Two updates in as many days, you spoil us. (But keep it up, please? O_O)
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♥ ^__^
(But keep it up, please? O_O)
ahahaha DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE D:
*obediently goes back to writing anyway* T^T
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'Course, things are going to be more difficult now that Itachi has a clue.
Well, Sasuke is certainly going to fret more. >:D *cuts spoilerific ponderings* >__>;;
the three of them can hold off two Akatsuki agents, even with having to protect a fourth
XD;;; you've got to remember that it all happened real fast (three minutes? five tops) and that Itachi wasn't really participating much until the end, anyway. That, and Kisame was playing.
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*trying to reboot*
...Okay, you're not any getting constructive criticism from the awe-struck girl in the corner.
This is incredible, perfect I tell you, I love it like burning, the non-serious was just as perfect, OMG look at the shiny action scenes~~
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aaaaaah Kakashi to the rescue yes and a fight scene that is basically just mad scrambling of the SHIT SHIT SHIT variety with Our Heroes pretty outmatched but still giving out hell and god I love those medics and Naruto being kind of crazy and Sakura being that awesome mix of tough and not that tough because after a day like that, she deserves to be able to whimper about her hands, and Sasuke using the phrase meat shield to describe himself poor guy has issues but he's still delightfully fuckdammit grouchy and fed up with this shit. Hoooo coherency is not my strong point today.
Re: Umm… yes. Just… yes. Just… Oh My Goodness That Was Exactly Right.
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.. That's almost as funny as "Kung-Fu Action Jesus"
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*isdead*
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"That is true," Itachi said quietly, and dived for her, katana first.
There was no thought. (fathermotherauntieSAKURA)
It didn't even hurt when the sword dug into his back. It was just cold. He twisted to the side. If it was deep enough (he couldn't tell) he might manage to tear it out of Itachi's hand, counterattack.
I screamed, not even joking. Just oh my god, Sasuke you poor thing. I LOVE the fact that this bit was in Sasuke's POV because you did it so brilliantly. I've always loved your Sasuke voice the best, even if its almost impossible to compare because I love Naruto and Sakura's too. The whole bit with Sasuke and Itachi after he's been stabbed and Sakura just sobbing brokenly beneath him. I know I said I loved that this was told from Sasuke's eyes, but it's interesting chapters like this that makes me want to hear the chapter from all of their views.
Well... maybe not Naruto's. I'm sure it would be one big jumble of paingriefloveohgodsasukestabkillprotect and so on.
Wasn't really a valley. Just... a bowl. A big bowl. Maybe fifty steps across. It had chewed up a corner of the riverbed, and little rivulets were making their way down. Soon there would be a perfectly circular pond.
Neither Sakura nor Gaara had to answer, because then Naruto did it again.
It was huge, the biggest Rasengan Naruto had ever made and by far. It was red, and it didn't swirl so much like a ball twirled on a fingertip than like the eye of a storm. It hit the ground between Itachi and Kisame and the shockwave made whatever Sasuke and the other two rested on wobble. Gaara winced, tugging on their clothes to bring them closer.
Oh NARUTO. I really hope you get into how both he and Sakura felt when Sasuke jumped in front of that sword at some point because god, to have provoked THAT he must have been terrified.
Naruto was stumbling his way to them, punch-drunk, snarling at everyone who tried to get in the middle. He slumped on his knees in front of them, demon-red eyes traveling from Sasuke's face to Sakura's to Gaara's.
He only had two hands, so he grabbed Sasuke and Gaara's unconscious body and did his best to pull everyone into his lap. Or maybe crawl on theirs. It was hard to tell. Sasuke briefly passed out when Naruto's hand pressed too close to his wound; when he opened his eyes again he was slumped on Naruto's shoulder, so he didn't bother to move.
Sakura was curled up right next to him, bent over Gaara's upper body on Naruto's lap so she could tuck her head under Naruto's chin. Looked uncomfortable. Naruto was murmuring something in Sasuke's hair, he wasn't sure what.
Puppy pile. And I love the fact that Naruto didn't discriminate and pulled Gaara right in there with them. It really shows how yes, Naruto really would sacrifice himself for ANY of them whereas Sasuke would give up Gaara to save the rest of his team. And Naruto all protective when the healers tried to help. Favorite chapter ever. I really, really, really cannot wait for more.
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Yeah, this chapter is defiantly up there. It hit all my spots, seriously. I just really really need to see Sasuke's reaction to Naruto after they all get their heads back on straight. It was killing me a bit when Sasuke was up on the sand cloud trying to get down to Naruto and having to make do with watching him on his knees under Kisame's sword. uuuuugh. Seriously. Killed me.
(I kinda almost wished they'd taken Naruto. Just to see Sasuke and Sakura flip a shit to get him back. And what that would do to Sasuke to have his brother take Naruto! omg, I am so mean to that kid but i love when he loves.)
I feel like this calls for a make-out scene. How else can they express all that desperate, needy angst? Oh, and some Gaara-Naruto interaction. I'm curious, and it's nice to see some outside-team interactions- Naruto IS a really social guy after all.
ALSO. If I had any complaint at all it would be that it went by too quickly. But that was probably because I was eating it up. I wanted it to last forever and it didn't. D:
... you know you love monster posts.
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But great, great, stuff, and I'm going to re-read this entire chapter again just so I can figure out everything from when Kisame appears.
Also, love how this chapter ended. :)
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I HAVE NOTHING COHERENT TO SAY.
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Man, Itachi and Sasuke... too angsty and exciting for words. o_o
(Btw, I think the omake would have worked for real, if Kisame had said that instead. ^_~)
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Action should be actions, other then then the other previously mentioned mistakes tis all good grammar/spelling wise.
other then that.... O.M.F.G!! i do believe i've read this twice and i'm still incoherant! excellent work does not even begin to descibe it!
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♥ ^____________________^ whee! happy it pleases you, dear.
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Thank you <3
this chapter was full of niceness and emotions :))
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Thank you for the comment, dear. ^^
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Thank you. ^^
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I think I might have had a heart attack
and then went delirious
I screamed
alot
and
and those last words made me go into a delirious laughing fit
there are no words
favorite frickin chapter EVER!
X)
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♥ ♥ ♥ I'm so glad you liked it that much. bweee. ^_________________^
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Awesome battle scene and, nya Gaara !
Love the brackets, I always love the brackets.
Sakura with claws ! Yeeheee ~~~! PuppyTeam is going to be alright, alright ? Plz !
Oh I so love you for this. Evil.
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I like brackets too much, i think XD *ponders stuffing them EVERYWHERE*
As for PuppyTeam... well. >__>; .___.;;; 9____9;;;;; ... OH LOOK AT THE TIME I HAVE TO GO :DDD
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*promises more later*
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*applauds* 8D
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♥♥♥♥♥ :333
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(Anonymous) 2010-03-24 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)there's just one thing...maybe I'm really stupid, but why is gaara there? weren't they doind a chunnin exam in whirlpool country? maybe I missed it in previous chapters??
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And haha, that proves i should write faster. Gaara's been around since the beginning of the chuunn exam arc; they came on his boat, along with his sister, and later on after the first test when they go back to the hotel (before the shower making out thing) they meet him in the street visiting with other high-ranked people. Sakura and Sasuke laugh at Naruto because he just waltzes right in the fray to say hi to the kazekage without even realizing. ;p
BEWARE THE BIG FAT COMMENT--Muryx
(Anonymous) 2010-03-25 08:28 am (UTC)(link)-- from the corner of his eye he watched Naruto fall again, belly like mincemeat, Kisame chuckle derisively. --Think this should be "chuckling"?
Held his sword in front of his face, and even if he was thrown back as well, the shockwave lost strength on his side and then he was charging again, well before Naruto had managed to reload. --I'm having trouble with the meaning of the "on his side" bit here; maybe reword? ("Against him?" Is that what you meant?)
It was huge, the biggest Rasengan Naruto had ever made and by far. It was red, and it didn't swirl so much like a ball twirled on a fingertip than like the eye of a storm. --"And by far" is ok, but don't really need the "and" there. And also: "than like the eye" should be "as like".
"Lay down on your fucking stretcher. Sakura too. If I have to..."
--Should be "lie," not lay. (Love that line, btw.)
Part the 2nd, the specific loves:
Sasuke using wire to transfer the shock of the Chidori, sweeeeeeeet! Here is an excellent spot to write a recurring thought: You may hate writing fight scenes, but YOU IS A GENIUS AT IT!!!1!1!!
Kisame seemed aware of it; he was bringing his sword in a blocking position, smug smirk replaced by a vaguely put-upon expression. --Just love this. It's so...Kisame. (It's things like this that confirm my fondness for the big finny bastard...)
Gaara's arm felt weird under his hand, damp and grainy. --Gaara coated in soggy sand: again, this is just... You have such a genius for detail!
I meeped a C sharp (and I'm an alto) when Sasuke got stabbed.
Sasuke grabbing the necessary tokens off the jounin is. Just. PERFECT.
And your omake rules.
Part the 3rd, the general reaction: LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHSQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOMGOMGOMGOMGSQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *hits pause, goes to the bathroom, comes back, drinks a little water* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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I've been waiting for updates since... *checks calender* around November...
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Weird complicated English verb whatthefuckery:
"Gaara would be the last thing Gaara's sand allowed to fall, wasn't it?"
-->
"Gaara would be the last thing Gaara's sand allowed to fall, wouldn't he?"
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I love how when the chips fell Team Seven tried their hardest to try to protect each other.
I also loved the previous bit with Sasuke being all submissive to Kyuubi!Naruto (shame that didn't last!XD)
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Thank you, lovely. :3
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Anyway...
Yay more fightscene. Not much to say except that you wrote it well.
Despite hoping for a super sexy... erm I mean intensely conversational reunion between Sasuke and Itachi back when I first thought about it, I like how you handled Itachi's appearance. He's almost all business, and his barely acknowledging Sasuke, beyond announcing his fatherhood and stabbing him, adds insult to injury. (I uploaded a new icon just to make this comment, I found it appropriate) By the way, did the trio actually find out for certain who the babydaddy was? Sakura seemed sure it was Sasuke's just a section ago, but I don't remember them finding out. Did I miss it?
FINALLY, the Jounin come to the rescue! It's about damn time. I hope the genin will be ok. I liked the creepiness of Naruto not submitting to the medic and being possessive of the others, and Sasuke pretty much having to yell at him. I'm glad Sasuke got the tokens... a nice way to end the chapter.
The omake made me snicker aloud. Oh, Asuka. You are awesome.
~Sara