askerian | Teamwork writing woes.

Entry tags:

Teamwork writing woes.

... So I'm trying to write that "first time Naruto and Sakura had sex by their lonesome, without Sasuke" thing. (I also have the first sasunaru and the first sasusaku planned. ... The sasusaku needs a LOT MORE planning, though. All the notes I have are "wearing Kimono, on the gallery facing the garden" except I actually added words here so the sentence would be understandable to people who cannot read my mind.)

I can't hit the right note with it and it just won't keep me engaged, even though I have the whole plot mapped out and it's only a matter of filling it in. It's : 1, happy, playful and kind of cute sex. 2, with no or very little mention of Sasuke (I want to write about the two of them, not about how much the two of them love Sasuke.) 3, NOT KINKY ENOUGH.

It's twosome het sex.

I must have, but at the moment I don't remember writing anything porny that wasn't either yaoi, yuri, or a threesome -- and therefore the presence of a girl in it only amplified the non-vanilla side. Yay for bisexuals.

I'm not saying Yaoi can never be vanilla, but with my tendency to prefer rivalships, the non-vanilla part usually takes care of itself pretty nicely.

Aaaand as i was discussing with

hardcoreheathen earlier -- oh hell I'll copypaste, it'll be faster.

I hate writing the same thing several times, so it's becoming hard to find new and original things for them to do in bed without resorting to melted wax, whips or watersports. I could probably write them doing a couple of specific things a lot of times easy but then it would turn into "oh eww asuka, it's starting to look less like the characters like it and more like it's your personal kink, it pops up in all your pr0ns" XD; Also it's easy to write tab a slot b stuff, but to make it *hot*, that's a lot harder.

I think my mental boner has performance anxiety; every time I start thinking about whether what I write is 1) easily understandable and visualizable (none of that "... who is on top again? where'd that fifth hand come from?") and 2) actually getting a "prrrrr" response, I wilt.

... All that to say, I'm giving myself performance anxiety. Will it be original enough? Will the character be realistic enough, will they resonate with the reader? Will it actually be HOT?

Therefore, I am hereby giving myself the permission to write a lemon that is only so-so and fails to burn panties in a five meters radius.

I am giving myself the permission to write lemons that contain sex acts I already used once before (so long as I never fall into the blowjob-onefinger-twofingers-threefingers-penis rhythm EVER).

I am giving myself the permission to write short scenes! It does not matter, because what I need is to get out of my rut (-- not the right kind alas. haha, i made a funny. :D;; ) and just... just, relax and stop putting pressure on myself with the awareness of EXPECTATIONS. I'm probably more demanding with myself than most readers would be, for fuck's sake.

Because the more I expect out of my writing boner and the faster it wilts. It wilts like a sad, tiny little wormy thing. So yeah. I'm going to go and write that lemon, and once it's done i'll even post it! And THEN we might find stuff to fix it, little stuff, huge stuff, it does not matter because I am not allowed to worry about it before it's even outside of the note-taking stage! Because today I am giving myself permission to not worry about whether I write it leik zomg perfect.

... That's nice and all, but knowing myself... that permission, I really don't think I'll take it. =____=;;;

Why do I stress out so much more for sex scenes than any other kind of writing, damn it. it's hella harder to make readers cry than to make them horny, humans are horny little creatures almost by default...

He found her at the kitchen sink, up to her elbows in foam. She'd managed to get the window's old, water-damaged wooden frame open; sunlight played on her hair and reflections in the water danced in little lights over her skin. She was, in his opinion, simply gorgeous.

So of course he absolutely had to sneak closer in absolute silence, fingers wriggling as they aimed for her ribs.

"GYAH!"

He ducked under Sakura's startled wild swing, laughing. "Hah! I knew you were ticklish."

Sakura narrowed her eyes as she gave him a long, measuring stare.

"Um, Sakura-chan...?" Naruto wasn't what anyone would call sensitive, but by now he knew better than to ask whether he'd caught her in a cranky mood. He took a slow step forward, peering at her face and trying unsuccessfully to decipher her expression.

Then, just as he was starting to worry, she snatched up the spray bottle Naruto used on his houseplants and got him in the face.

"F-FOUL!"

Flailing, Naruto retreated as Sakura advanced on him. She was grinning in the most evil way possible, her tunic was flecked with soapy water, and yep, still gorgeous. She stalked him into a corner, spraying and spraying mercilessly. Naruto tried lifting his arms in defense but it didn't change a thing; she got him over them, and under them, and from the sides and everywhere else. In the end his hair was hanging in his eyes in waterlogged spikes and he was dripping on the tiled floor.

"That was cruel!"

Sakura grinned smugly. "Yes." She sprayed a little puff of mist right at his nose. "That'll teach you to attack from the back."

"I'm sorry, never again!" Naruto lied, badly, arms still lifted defensively. "I surrender."

"Damn right you surrender. I have the absolute weapon and the cunning strategy." Sakura tilted her chin at him, smiling in that mysterious, heavy-lidded way that always made him weak at the knee.

Naruto heaved a long sigh and plucked at the bottom of his tanktop.

"Oh, you poor baby, looking so wet and misera--"

Blinking, Naruto sneaked a look at her from under his wet hair and blinked as he found her staring at... apparently, his t-shirt. She was distracted, so he jumped forward and stole the spray bottle from her hand.

Sakura eeped a little when he got her back in the neck, but even as she shook the water out of her ear she still looked somewhat... distracted.

By his wet t-shirt. Which happened to be white.

And now kind of see-through.

Ohh.

Ooohohohoho.

edit: OMG FIC IS DOOOOONE. posted with the adult content thinger, Will have it on affnet in a couple of days, and on my personal site, uh, I dunno, when I finally get off my ass, I guess. >_>;;

oh man i hope it lasts. :O but uh i should have been in bed two hours ago. oops. XD;

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, you could always fade-to-black if you really don't feel like writing it..

the whole point of the fic is that they have sex. It's an important part of their relationship. I don't like just glossing over it all the time.

I also really don't like being crippled in my writing, having things that I want to express and can't. It would be different if I never wanted to write that kind of scene anyway, but I do, and I'm blocked, and that's not an acceptable state of affairs.

I think that you write the characters so damn beautifully IC, and that keeps readers like me happy. Hot sex is awesome, but I'm happy to read anything you write because it feels so right it should be canon.

I'm curious - which twosome gets it on first? Because there would definitely be an aspect of "this is so weird" or possible concerns about leaving someone out?

SasuNaru. I don't know whether SasuSaku or NaruSaku is the last one. In one hand, if she already did it with Sasuke then she'd be feeling a little less guilty/worrying about cheating/messing up the threesome, but in the other hand she's waiting for Sasuke to take the first step and, well, that might take a while. >__>;; Now I think SasuSaku would be last actually -- if they have threesome sex before and after the sasunaru thing Sakura would be relaxed enough about it for the narusaku thing, and after that she'd be confident enough not to fret when she's alone with Sasuke... (not that she would fret very much but she still has her moments. DX ) hell, Sasuke too. Less worry that she's expecting too much out of him. *ponders*

I'll be so glad when they all relax and stop clinging to "but i love X best" already. mutual and equal feelings = yays. x__x

... #._______.# ♥♥♥

Now what do I say to that. XD;; Sorry if it sounded like I was fishing for compliments, and I'm glad you think so.

Seconding this.

Seriously, it could have everything that's in every other fic and it'd still be original and awesome and hot simply because YOU wrote it and.. well you make me think it's cannon or it SHOULD be.

It's sex between THEM and that's what makes it special. Not specific movements. Those are a plus.

...I would write more but I keep jumping because I'm over at my grandmother's and thinking "OH GOD THEY CAN SEE THE TINY FONT AND KNOW HOW PR0NISH THEIR LITTLE GIRL IS"

ffftttttt. They can't XDD But I still jump.

#._______________________.#

... And this is why you should learn French, so that even if they come up right behind you and go "WHAT ARE YOU WRITING? :DDD" you can be sure they will never know.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the real reason I learned English in the first place.

(in other words, I feel for youuuuuu augh family =/= even the slightest mention of pr0nz)

I know a little of it! And I have a French-English dictionary. Actually I took two years of French in high school but.. I got an easy pass because of my hearing problems :P I think I've forgotten most of it by now.

I'm home now though (AND ALONE \o/) so yeah. Continuing in my adoration of your writing.

Even the scene you just wrote right here *points to the water stuff* is very awesome and unique simply because of how you get into the characters' heads. I honestly don't think anyone else would take it from Naruto's point of view and add two plus two the way you did... and come up with a plan in a simple "Ooohohohoho" Even when they get right down to the smuttiest of smut every bite, every squeal, every quip and thought during the process would make it a PURE GEM. Because it's Asuka's writing. And porn. That's the most deadly "I need to get five spare pairs of panties before I read this" combo ever.

Equal? I think what I like about your series is how the love takes somewhat different forms between all.

i was wondering, did you get a private message from me about a week ago? i don't want to be a pest, but...

im curious to see how Sasu/Naru and Sasu/Saku pan out in doubles action and all but because of how things have been so far this is 1 that had me most curious and waiting in anticipation, hawt sex and good funtimes aside i think the thing im most curious about is if this is where Sakura will finally say (if she hasnt already just in some other chapter/sidestory that may or may not be written yet) those 3 lil words to Naruto.

teh hawt sexins i look forward to as well, you have a knack for making those scenes fun hot and sweaty that i find appealing and keep going back to where i wouldnt bother a 2nd read for most other such in other fic

all that said there is 1 other 2some im curious to know if you ever gonna throw at us ... i wan me some TemarIno action ... the way you got those two worked up in the sidefic demands moer.

course id also like to see the InoShikaTema trio in bedaction too but thats mostly cause i really luv how you do 3somes and would like to see the 2grls & a guy angle

as a side note .. a friend of mine throo this pic at me ... youll probly get a laugh or 2 outta it =^.^=
http://maboroshii.deviantart.com/art/We-were-here-128247752

--oh my god that pic.

it's awesome, i've been laughing and squeeing for like ten minutes. THAT PIC. IT'S SO GREAT. ahahahaha XDDDDD ♥ thank you so much for the link.

Okay yes. Okay. About the "I love you" from Sakura to Naruto, no, it won't be here, because I can't put it in a sidefic that not everyone will notice, that won't be on ffnet, and that underage people shouldn't read anyway, but it will happen somewhere! hopefully soon.

I think the temaino and temashikaino porn will have to wait until i'm closer to their scenes in the main fic, because right now i still don't know enough details on how it happens. I hope I'll manage to write them. x___x

thank you, hon ^^

aw ^^ it's always going to take different shapes and prompt different responses and behaviors, but so far some of the bonds are more powerful -- or they assume the bonds are more powerful, because that's how they were up until recently enough and they haven't been tested yet -- but the final plan is to have all of the bonds be close to equal in strength.

...O_O oh shit, i'm sorry. *sucks and loses and fails* It's such an easy question I forgot I hadn't actually answered it. Of course you can post it anywhere you want! just link me back when you're done. sorry, sorry. .____.;;;

hehe glad you liked it =^.^=

aah yeah thats understandable, still lookin forward to this, i could see Naru wanting to be all sweet and tender and such and Sakura wanting to not, she has that whole seriously aggressive thing working

aah well however long the wait for those 2/3 i know itll be worth it ... i loved the way Temari got Ino all worked up in the sidefic you have for them already

ja ne

Pretty cute, what you have of it. I imagine it might be a little tough to write a relationship as innocent and vanilla as SakuNaru (without any angst or snark! say it is not so!) but I'm looking forward to what you eventually churn out.

-- Guile

Sounds like you have the same issue with your writing that I have with my drawings, so I can relate.

All I can say is, remember that YOU are the one writing this - not your readers, YOU. If you're happy with how something turns out, then you DAMN WELL SHOULD BE. And if you think something needs to be tweaked, TWEAK IT; it doesn't have to be "right" the first time through, and you as The Creator have the right to make edits as you see fit.

I'd suggest writing the scene out and wait a day. Then go back and re-read what you wrote. Trust me, this really helps in deciding if what you wrote is "reading right," so to speak, since you're coming back with an essencially clean slate. Go ahead and rewrite as many drafts as you think you need, and remember that just because you put it up doesn't mean you can't still go back and edit it.

...I have no idea if I helped any, but I hope I was able to make you feel better at the very least.

*is intrigued*

And no biggie - I just thought it a matter of courtesy to ask. My beta still has it, so... it might be a while. But I'll definitely let you know!

Naruto is a dork. And Sakura is a pervert

And by the way, whatever you write, it will turn out nummy and wonderful. I like that it's Sakura starting things this time. It makes it feel less like Naruto is the driving force behind their relationship. Also I have to agree with Naruto, Sakura with sope all over her would be all kinds of hot.

Good luck!

You're having performance anxiety writing sex. Oh, bb. *pets*

If it helps, the beginning is plenty cute enough.

How many drafts do you do when writing? I don't know if it would work for you, but my first drafts tend to be full of spam and fail and I don't worry about quality/tone/etc., I just want to get the damn story down. And sometimes, to get that done, I sit down and errrr time myself. xD 5 minutes of spam, 15 minutes break, 5 minutes spam, etc.

Alternatively I get on AIM, jump on whoever's online, and go HEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEE BITCHWHINEMOANWHINGE. :D

And you kind of ARE too demanding of yourself you know. *pet*

.____.;; *petted* Yeeeah, it's... pretty silly. Too bad there's no writer's viagra, srsly. I'd down that stuff by the bottle.

Usually, I don't really do drafts. I write seriously right away since I have enough of the scene in mind that I don't need to do the detailed notes/architecture. Sometimes that doesn't work at all and I have to delete and rewrite, but that's actually pretty rare -- most of the time I just have to reword some things, and thank god for that because if I've written it once it gets really hard to find a totally new way to say it, and if that way doesn't work that can really suck. I hate rewriting, it's just fail and woe all around. XD;

... I also tend to get sidetracked by everything unless there's someone on AIM kicking me in the pants every ten minutes and demanding to know what i'm doing and why they're not seeing the next chunk yet. *hangs head*

;_____; When the hell did I become a perfectionnist.

I managed to find some cute!kink to inject in it and it worked! woohoo. I hope it works for you -- uh, can you even see adult content on LJ as an anon, by the way? Otherwise i'll post it other places soonish.

*squishlovepents* .__.

one of the aims of that fic was definitely to get sakura to participate more instead of having it seem like adoring someone on her pedestal. I hope it worked. I just posted it ohohoho~

♥♥♥

Thank you. You did make me feel better. ^______^

I like posting my unbetaed drafts on LJ, as long as the scene is complete -- I don't know, it doesn't feel "published" as it does on ffnet, it's more like sharing it between friends and asking their advice than really publishing it for good. I could edit it once it's on ffnet anyway, but it feels a little more like cheating and it's less practical, so unless the mistake is really noticeable I tend not to bother. Still, on LJ it's all good. u.u~ I'll read it over tomorrow and see what needs changing, and hopefully if there's a problem I won't have to realize on my own (and risk missing it entirely.)

Anyway, bedtime oh god so tired. x______x Good night! ♥

I would go for writer's viagra. Artist's viagra too plz. Oh god.I think fandom would be addicted to that stuff. It'd be even worse than usual, I mean, fandom is already like 90% porn.

... Wow. I go through drafts like a bitch on speed. u_u I do rewrite but most of it is deleting. And I delete a lot, sometimes halving chapters. (i guess that's why my style is so... sparse... LOL.)

*kicks you in the pants* You are terrible. TERRIBLE.

You're welcome. I'm so glad I could help - I'm a bit of a social retard so giving advice was a bit of a first for me... -___-;

Good night, Asuka. ^_^

No problems here.

-- Guile

Can I say I "third" this? XD

One thing that's kept me really interested in your fics is that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke feel very real to me. (Half the time I can't remember what is canon and what isn't anymore, especially after I see your pics.) The acts they take and the words they say just seem so... Human, ya know, even with all their special abilities, and not many animes/manga/fanfics can include this and include it well. And your writing is definitely more interesting than books (which eliminated half on my book-reading list), so I guess I'll read most of what you write, the "hot sex" would just be a bonus. ^^

Ah, with regards to writer's block, you seriously shouldn't try to bang your head against it so badly, unless you're sure that'll help. (You might get injured!) Maybe you can try a change of location or something? Like instead of working from your home all the time, maybe grab a laptop (or notebook) and go to a nearby McDonald's and sit in a corner with a cup of coffee, tea, or, my personal favourite, Coke. Observe people, enjoy your drink and relax a little. Your creative juices might just start flowing then. =)

/This, ladies and gentlemen, is the real reason I learned English in the first place./

(*LOL* I'm so glad you learned. And that's exactly why my diaries are in English. Sadly, brothers are catching up fast, so lately I've started inserting japanese words here and there, for forbidden terms mainly >.>; It's ridiculous--but you never know XD;)

p.s. Agree with not falling in the "blowjob-onefinger-twofingers-threefingers-penis rhythm" EVER. :D Thank you. I finally noticed another reason why your scenes are always so new and different.

Yay, more lemons! I like your lemon scenes! ^^

it's hella harder to make readers cry than to make them horny, humans are horny little creatures almost by default...
Lol. Actually, it kinda goes the other way around with me, but uh yeah...

Lol, nice retort, Sakura. ^^ ____ "Ooohohohoho." XDD

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Teamwork writing woes.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

this is 1 i been waiting for...

Re: this is 1 i been waiting for...

no subject

Re: this is 1 i been waiting for...

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject