![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Teamwork writing woes.
... So I'm trying to write that "first time Naruto and Sakura had sex by their lonesome, without Sasuke" thing. (I also have the first sasunaru and the first sasusaku planned. ... The sasusaku needs a LOT MORE planning, though. All the notes I have are "wearing Kimono, on the gallery facing the garden" except I actually added words here so the sentence would be understandable to people who cannot read my mind.)
I can't hit the right note with it and it just won't keep me engaged, even though I have the whole plot mapped out and it's only a matter of filling it in. It's : 1, happy, playful and kind of cute sex. 2, with no or very little mention of Sasuke (I want to write about the two of them, not about how much the two of them love Sasuke.) 3, NOT KINKY ENOUGH.
It's twosome het sex.
I must have, but at the moment I don't remember writing anything porny that wasn't either yaoi, yuri, or a threesome -- and therefore the presence of a girl in it only amplified the non-vanilla side. Yay for bisexuals.
I'm not saying Yaoi can never be vanilla, but with my tendency to prefer rivalships, the non-vanilla part usually takes care of itself pretty nicely.
Aaaand as i was discussing with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hardcoreheathen earlier -- oh hell I'll copypaste, it'll be faster.
... All that to say, I'm giving myself performance anxiety. Will it be original enough? Will the character be realistic enough, will they resonate with the reader? Will it actually be HOT?
Therefore, I am hereby giving myself the permission to write a lemon that is only so-so and fails to burn panties in a five meters radius.
I am giving myself the permission to write lemons that contain sex acts I already used once before (so long as I never fall into the blowjob-onefinger-twofingers-threefingers-penis rhythm EVER).
I am giving myself the permission to write short scenes! It does not matter, because what I need is to get out of my rut (-- not the right kind alas. haha, i made a funny. :D;; ) and just... just, relax and stop putting pressure on myself with the awareness of EXPECTATIONS. I'm probably more demanding with myself than most readers would be, for fuck's sake.
Because the more I expect out of my writing boner and the faster it wilts. It wilts like a sad, tiny little wormy thing. So yeah. I'm going to go and write that lemon, and once it's done i'll even post it! And THEN we might find stuff to fix it, little stuff, huge stuff, it does not matter because I am not allowed to worry about it before it's even outside of the note-taking stage! Because today I am giving myself permission to not worry about whether I write it leik zomg perfect.
... That's nice and all, but knowing myself... that permission, I really don't think I'll take it. =____=;;;
Why do I stress out so much more for sex scenes than any other kind of writing, damn it. it's hella harder to make readers cry than to make them horny, humans are horny little creatures almost by default...
He found her at the kitchen sink, up to her elbows in foam. She'd managed to get the window's old, water-damaged wooden frame open; sunlight played on her hair and reflections in the water danced in little lights over her skin. She was, in his opinion, simply gorgeous.
So of course he absolutely had to sneak closer in absolute silence, fingers wriggling as they aimed for her ribs.
"GYAH!"
He ducked under Sakura's startled wild swing, laughing. "Hah! I knew you were ticklish."
Sakura narrowed her eyes as she gave him a long, measuring stare.
"Um, Sakura-chan...?" Naruto wasn't what anyone would call sensitive, but by now he knew better than to ask whether he'd caught her in a cranky mood. He took a slow step forward, peering at her face and trying unsuccessfully to decipher her expression.
Then, just as he was starting to worry, she snatched up the spray bottle Naruto used on his houseplants and got him in the face.
"F-FOUL!"
Flailing, Naruto retreated as Sakura advanced on him. She was grinning in the most evil way possible, her tunic was flecked with soapy water, and yep, still gorgeous. She stalked him into a corner, spraying and spraying mercilessly. Naruto tried lifting his arms in defense but it didn't change a thing; she got him over them, and under them, and from the sides and everywhere else. In the end his hair was hanging in his eyes in waterlogged spikes and he was dripping on the tiled floor.
"That was cruel!"
Sakura grinned smugly. "Yes." She sprayed a little puff of mist right at his nose. "That'll teach you to attack from the back."
"I'm sorry, never again!" Naruto lied, badly, arms still lifted defensively. "I surrender."
"Damn right you surrender. I have the absolute weapon and the cunning strategy." Sakura tilted her chin at him, smiling in that mysterious, heavy-lidded way that always made him weak at the knee.
Naruto heaved a long sigh and plucked at the bottom of his tanktop.
"Oh, you poor baby, looking so wet and misera--"
Blinking, Naruto sneaked a look at her from under his wet hair and blinked as he found her staring at... apparently, his t-shirt. She was distracted, so he jumped forward and stole the spray bottle from her hand.
Sakura eeped a little when he got her back in the neck, but even as she shook the water out of her ear she still looked somewhat... distracted.
By his wet t-shirt. Which happened to be white.
And now kind of see-through.
Ohh.
Ooohohohoho.
edit: OMG FIC IS DOOOOONE. posted with the adult content thinger, Will have it on affnet in a couple of days, and on my personal site, uh, I dunno, when I finally get off my ass, I guess. >_>;;
oh man i hope it lasts. :O but uh i should have been in bed two hours ago. oops. XD;
I can't hit the right note with it and it just won't keep me engaged, even though I have the whole plot mapped out and it's only a matter of filling it in. It's : 1, happy, playful and kind of cute sex. 2, with no or very little mention of Sasuke (I want to write about the two of them, not about how much the two of them love Sasuke.) 3, NOT KINKY ENOUGH.
It's twosome het sex.
I must have, but at the moment I don't remember writing anything porny that wasn't either yaoi, yuri, or a threesome -- and therefore the presence of a girl in it only amplified the non-vanilla side. Yay for bisexuals.
I'm not saying Yaoi can never be vanilla, but with my tendency to prefer rivalships, the non-vanilla part usually takes care of itself pretty nicely.
Aaaand as i was discussing with
hardcoreheathen earlier -- oh hell I'll copypaste, it'll be faster. I hate writing the same thing several times, so it's becoming hard to find new and original things for them to do in bed without resorting to melted wax, whips or watersports. I could probably write them doing a couple of specific things a lot of times easy but then it would turn into "oh eww asuka, it's starting to look less like the characters like it and more like it's your personal kink, it pops up in all your pr0ns" XD; Also it's easy to write tab a slot b stuff, but to make it *hot*, that's a lot harder.
I think my mental boner has performance anxiety; every time I start thinking about whether what I write is 1) easily understandable and visualizable (none of that "... who is on top again? where'd that fifth hand come from?") and 2) actually getting a "prrrrr" response, I wilt.
... All that to say, I'm giving myself performance anxiety. Will it be original enough? Will the character be realistic enough, will they resonate with the reader? Will it actually be HOT?
Therefore, I am hereby giving myself the permission to write a lemon that is only so-so and fails to burn panties in a five meters radius.
I am giving myself the permission to write lemons that contain sex acts I already used once before (so long as I never fall into the blowjob-onefinger-twofingers-threefingers-penis rhythm EVER).
I am giving myself the permission to write short scenes! It does not matter, because what I need is to get out of my rut (-- not the right kind alas. haha, i made a funny. :D;; ) and just... just, relax and stop putting pressure on myself with the awareness of EXPECTATIONS. I'm probably more demanding with myself than most readers would be, for fuck's sake.
Because the more I expect out of my writing boner and the faster it wilts. It wilts like a sad, tiny little wormy thing. So yeah. I'm going to go and write that lemon, and once it's done i'll even post it! And THEN we might find stuff to fix it, little stuff, huge stuff, it does not matter because I am not allowed to worry about it before it's even outside of the note-taking stage! Because today I am giving myself permission to not worry about whether I write it leik zomg perfect.
... That's nice and all, but knowing myself... that permission, I really don't think I'll take it. =____=;;;
Why do I stress out so much more for sex scenes than any other kind of writing, damn it. it's hella harder to make readers cry than to make them horny, humans are horny little creatures almost by default...
He found her at the kitchen sink, up to her elbows in foam. She'd managed to get the window's old, water-damaged wooden frame open; sunlight played on her hair and reflections in the water danced in little lights over her skin. She was, in his opinion, simply gorgeous.
So of course he absolutely had to sneak closer in absolute silence, fingers wriggling as they aimed for her ribs.
"GYAH!"
He ducked under Sakura's startled wild swing, laughing. "Hah! I knew you were ticklish."
Sakura narrowed her eyes as she gave him a long, measuring stare.
"Um, Sakura-chan...?" Naruto wasn't what anyone would call sensitive, but by now he knew better than to ask whether he'd caught her in a cranky mood. He took a slow step forward, peering at her face and trying unsuccessfully to decipher her expression.
Then, just as he was starting to worry, she snatched up the spray bottle Naruto used on his houseplants and got him in the face.
"F-FOUL!"
Flailing, Naruto retreated as Sakura advanced on him. She was grinning in the most evil way possible, her tunic was flecked with soapy water, and yep, still gorgeous. She stalked him into a corner, spraying and spraying mercilessly. Naruto tried lifting his arms in defense but it didn't change a thing; she got him over them, and under them, and from the sides and everywhere else. In the end his hair was hanging in his eyes in waterlogged spikes and he was dripping on the tiled floor.
"That was cruel!"
Sakura grinned smugly. "Yes." She sprayed a little puff of mist right at his nose. "That'll teach you to attack from the back."
"I'm sorry, never again!" Naruto lied, badly, arms still lifted defensively. "I surrender."
"Damn right you surrender. I have the absolute weapon and the cunning strategy." Sakura tilted her chin at him, smiling in that mysterious, heavy-lidded way that always made him weak at the knee.
Naruto heaved a long sigh and plucked at the bottom of his tanktop.
"Oh, you poor baby, looking so wet and misera--"
Blinking, Naruto sneaked a look at her from under his wet hair and blinked as he found her staring at... apparently, his t-shirt. She was distracted, so he jumped forward and stole the spray bottle from her hand.
Sakura eeped a little when he got her back in the neck, but even as she shook the water out of her ear she still looked somewhat... distracted.
By his wet t-shirt. Which happened to be white.
And now kind of see-through.
Ohh.
Ooohohohoho.
edit: OMG FIC IS DOOOOONE. posted with the adult content thinger, Will have it on affnet in a couple of days, and on my personal site, uh, I dunno, when I finally get off my ass, I guess. >_>;;
oh man i hope it lasts. :O but uh i should have been in bed two hours ago. oops. XD;