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from the first half of my vacation. I'm staying with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kineko, but since she still has to work by day, here I am trolling teh internets for porn anyway. XD
Bretagne was pretty, and I managed to escape before boredom and my parents's attempts at making me walk for hours on end under the sun everyday did me in.
(and camping gave me a few ideas for the chuunin exam for Teamwork. woohoo~)
I still don't know how I will resolve the situation with Akatsuki -- I have scene ideas with Kisame and Itachi, and I know why they didn't come after Naruto sooner and what's happening to the other Tails, but... Hrrm. Maybe I should wait for the manga to progress a bit farther, see if it gives me ideas tosteal adapt. 9.9
Diverging universe or not, there's a thing that's totally noncanon now that we have more info (thanks Kishi for Jossing me XP) and it's the way Naruto's and Sasuke's seals work. (teamwork!Naruto's is getting stronger and he's assimilating Kyuubi, and teamwork!Sasuke's died with Orochimaru because the power boosts came from Oro, or at least through him, so he could have more control on his curse seal people) Blah. I can't edit it without reworking my whole plot from the start, so, whatever. *still pouting a bit though* ;.;
And this time I think I might like it well enough... Didn't change much, just the end.
There are no ghosts in this house. None of his, at any rate. There's Uchiha Hideyoshi; Uchiha Minako; Shin; Isamu; Kaede.
To him, nothing but names on paper.
He cannot tell if they would have begrudged his use of their home. They're smiling in most of the pictures he found; so he tells himself they wouldn't have -- too much -- and goes about his day. He lights incense when he wakes anyway.
It would be easier to live with if he didn't have to cross half the district every time he wants to leave the house. The first street is fine; he never used to explore this boring side of the district much. At the corner is an old well, with stone benches in a half-circle around. When the benches weren't taken over by crabby old people, he used to climb at the end of the first and leaped his way across.
Next is the street where the ice cream man had his stand. The garden with the huge dog. His mother's best friend's house; they used to joke about marrying Sasuke to her daughter, to the horror of both children. Next was a tiny square with bushes that were perfect hiding places; they're overgrown enough to make their own jungle, now, except that half are withered.
Depending on which gate to the rest of the village he wishes to use, he can either walk past the piece of Uchiha training grounds that Itachi claimed as his own and the lake where Sasuke practiced Katon, or the charred remnants of his home. Most of the time, it's more practical to walk by his home.
Sakura has developed an inordinate fondness for a kind of sweets she says she can find nowhere but in the other direction. Naruto teases her about her hips; Sakura hits him, and says he deserves it for getting between a pregnant woman and her cravings.
They're so see-through it almost hurts, but acknowledging it would mean acknowledging they see through him as well. So he forks over the money for Sakura's sweets in silence and doesn't elbow Naruto too hard when he leans over his shoulder to steal from the bag.
Sasuke doesn't know what his ghosts would say about his two lovers and their bizarre, immoral arrangement.
So in the evenings, when all the training of the day is done, when Naruto is off with Iruka or Jiraiya or Kiba or whoever else, and Sakura is off with Ino, or her parents, Sasuke sits in front of his unknown cousins' little shrine and wonders about his own parents.
It isn't something he does often, thinking about his parents. It's hard to remember them without remembering how they were taken away, and then his focus shifts onto revenge, not remembrance. And he still needs to avenge them. It burns deep inside; he doesn't think it's ever going to stop. But he cannot give in to murderous, blind rages when he's faced with the picture of that black-haired, happy family. Hideyoshi; Minako; Shin; Isamu; Kaede.
If his parents had lived...
His father... A proud man, respectful of traditions, but not one who let rumors cow him either. Sasuke knows he would have disapproved of Team Seven's arrangement -- wouldn't have opposed Sasuke marrying outside the clan, but wouldn't have liked the fact that they don't know who the father of the child is. He might even have looked down on Sakura for that, even though it wasn't her fault... No. No. Sasuke doesn't like to think that. His father was a just man.
Hopefully he wouldn't have begrudged Sasuke's friendship with Naruto -- or perhaps he might have preferred his son to keep his distances from the demon carrier -- but he would never have wanted to hear about anything more than that. As long as Sasuke was married and had children, as long as he did his duty to the bloodline, his father probably would have pretended that any male lovers Sasuke had didn't exist. Not that Sasuke would have ever wanted to tell his father about any of that, so it would have been all right if he didn't want to know.
His mother... Sweet, caring, perpetually smiling. She would have been concerned -- probably pretty much for the same reasons Sakura's mother was so worried. She would have been sad about the way people might shun them...
And if she were still here to worry about, Sasuke might consider asking Naruto to never be more than their secret lover, the ex-teammate they happen to still be on good terms with, just for his mother not to be shunned because of him, just for his father not to lose face.
The point is moot anyway. Sasuke doesn't have to make this decision. The thought of denying Naruto's importance to protect his reputation, of all things, makes him want to growl. He doesn't like the idea of letting outsiders know anything about his personal feelings, but if there is one thing that could prompt him to forego his pride and go along with public displays of affection, it's spite.
Only consideration for the feelings of his precious people places higher; but his parents are beyond that -- what does it matter if their second son has loose morals, compared to the fact that he betrayed Konoha, that he feels nothing at the thought of betraying it again, that if he still could, he'd leave again in a heartbeat.
Ultimately, his parents aren't here, cannot judge what his life has become. If they were here -- even if the rest of the clan wasn't -- his life would be so different he doubts he would recognize himself; but they aren't, and torturing himself with what-ifs is a waste of time. He'll have to keep living with the thought that on this, at least, he would disappoint them. There are so many other things -- so much more important -- for which he knows he would not get their forgiveness.
Of the four people who still matter, only Sakura and the child might be embarrassed, and even then it depends how and when the rumor spreads. Naruto would laugh and brag if people asked him the truth about their sentimental arrangement, and nothing fazes Kakashi.
His mother might have accepted them, though. As long as her son was happy.
Overall, he's not really happy; but that's nothing out of the ordinary. There are still problems to fix and jutsu to learn and progress to make and his brother to kill.
He's not happy often, but Naruto and Sakura help him not be down or angry all the time either. He doesn't need them; he could do without them. But they're here and they're not going to let him go, and now, with the child, he can't let them go either. Even if it's not his. There are people who would love to get their hands on the Kyuubi's carrier's spawn. He'll kill them first, if Naruto doesn't.
Sakura smiles more these days; sometimes Sasuke catches himself smiling back. Naruto is insatiable in bed. Or out of bed. Everywhere.
The thought of losing his teammates makes him sick.
He shouldn't have stayed, after Naruto stopped him at the waterfall. He should have escaped from the hospital the second he could walk again. They're chaining him to them, to that village. They're dulling his resolve. They're not letting him hate enough.
Sasuke lives in terror of the day when Itachi will fix that mistake for him.
He knows it will be enough; it will be the one thing he's still missing. If Itachi kills them, Sasuke will kill Itachi, no ifs or buts, no "not strong enough yet", no fancy tricks needed. He's sure of it -- sure that that's the only guaranteed method. If Sakura and Naruto die, then Itachi will die too.
And then Sasuke will follow.
He used to be unable to enjoy his present because his dreams were in his past; now he can't enjoy it because his future holds nightmares. He hates his teammates a little, he thinks. His goal wasn't so impossible when he had nothing left to lose.
He never should have let them worm their way in. The only way to keep them safe would have been to cut them out. But it's too late for that. They're inside him.
He's trapped here, in Konoha. They're targets now. Leaving won't protect anyone anymore.
And so he sits in front of the shrine, and watches the incense sticks burn from tip to bottom. Those cousins he never knew smile at him from the picture, frozen and so far away he feels sometimes they have never been real, have never existed. Just like the boy he was, before his world was destroyed. Just like his family, with his strong father and gentle mother and that big brother he loved for and despite everything he was.
He wishes the child could have known his grandparents.
kineko, but since she still has to work by day, here I am trolling teh internets for porn anyway. XDBretagne was pretty, and I managed to escape before boredom and my parents's attempts at making me walk for hours on end under the sun everyday did me in.
(and camping gave me a few ideas for the chuunin exam for Teamwork. woohoo~)
I still don't know how I will resolve the situation with Akatsuki -- I have scene ideas with Kisame and Itachi, and I know why they didn't come after Naruto sooner and what's happening to the other Tails, but... Hrrm. Maybe I should wait for the manga to progress a bit farther, see if it gives me ideas to
Diverging universe or not, there's a thing that's totally noncanon now that we have more info (thanks Kishi for Jossing me XP) and it's the way Naruto's and Sasuke's seals work. (teamwork!Naruto's is getting stronger and he's assimilating Kyuubi, and teamwork!Sasuke's died with Orochimaru because the power boosts came from Oro, or at least through him, so he could have more control on his curse seal people) Blah. I can't edit it without reworking my whole plot from the start, so, whatever. *still pouting a bit though* ;.;
And this time I think I might like it well enough... Didn't change much, just the end.
There are no ghosts in this house. None of his, at any rate. There's Uchiha Hideyoshi; Uchiha Minako; Shin; Isamu; Kaede.
To him, nothing but names on paper.
He cannot tell if they would have begrudged his use of their home. They're smiling in most of the pictures he found; so he tells himself they wouldn't have -- too much -- and goes about his day. He lights incense when he wakes anyway.
It would be easier to live with if he didn't have to cross half the district every time he wants to leave the house. The first street is fine; he never used to explore this boring side of the district much. At the corner is an old well, with stone benches in a half-circle around. When the benches weren't taken over by crabby old people, he used to climb at the end of the first and leaped his way across.
Next is the street where the ice cream man had his stand. The garden with the huge dog. His mother's best friend's house; they used to joke about marrying Sasuke to her daughter, to the horror of both children. Next was a tiny square with bushes that were perfect hiding places; they're overgrown enough to make their own jungle, now, except that half are withered.
Depending on which gate to the rest of the village he wishes to use, he can either walk past the piece of Uchiha training grounds that Itachi claimed as his own and the lake where Sasuke practiced Katon, or the charred remnants of his home. Most of the time, it's more practical to walk by his home.
Sakura has developed an inordinate fondness for a kind of sweets she says she can find nowhere but in the other direction. Naruto teases her about her hips; Sakura hits him, and says he deserves it for getting between a pregnant woman and her cravings.
They're so see-through it almost hurts, but acknowledging it would mean acknowledging they see through him as well. So he forks over the money for Sakura's sweets in silence and doesn't elbow Naruto too hard when he leans over his shoulder to steal from the bag.
Sasuke doesn't know what his ghosts would say about his two lovers and their bizarre, immoral arrangement.
So in the evenings, when all the training of the day is done, when Naruto is off with Iruka or Jiraiya or Kiba or whoever else, and Sakura is off with Ino, or her parents, Sasuke sits in front of his unknown cousins' little shrine and wonders about his own parents.
It isn't something he does often, thinking about his parents. It's hard to remember them without remembering how they were taken away, and then his focus shifts onto revenge, not remembrance. And he still needs to avenge them. It burns deep inside; he doesn't think it's ever going to stop. But he cannot give in to murderous, blind rages when he's faced with the picture of that black-haired, happy family. Hideyoshi; Minako; Shin; Isamu; Kaede.
If his parents had lived...
His father... A proud man, respectful of traditions, but not one who let rumors cow him either. Sasuke knows he would have disapproved of Team Seven's arrangement -- wouldn't have opposed Sasuke marrying outside the clan, but wouldn't have liked the fact that they don't know who the father of the child is. He might even have looked down on Sakura for that, even though it wasn't her fault... No. No. Sasuke doesn't like to think that. His father was a just man.
Hopefully he wouldn't have begrudged Sasuke's friendship with Naruto -- or perhaps he might have preferred his son to keep his distances from the demon carrier -- but he would never have wanted to hear about anything more than that. As long as Sasuke was married and had children, as long as he did his duty to the bloodline, his father probably would have pretended that any male lovers Sasuke had didn't exist. Not that Sasuke would have ever wanted to tell his father about any of that, so it would have been all right if he didn't want to know.
His mother... Sweet, caring, perpetually smiling. She would have been concerned -- probably pretty much for the same reasons Sakura's mother was so worried. She would have been sad about the way people might shun them...
And if she were still here to worry about, Sasuke might consider asking Naruto to never be more than their secret lover, the ex-teammate they happen to still be on good terms with, just for his mother not to be shunned because of him, just for his father not to lose face.
The point is moot anyway. Sasuke doesn't have to make this decision. The thought of denying Naruto's importance to protect his reputation, of all things, makes him want to growl. He doesn't like the idea of letting outsiders know anything about his personal feelings, but if there is one thing that could prompt him to forego his pride and go along with public displays of affection, it's spite.
Only consideration for the feelings of his precious people places higher; but his parents are beyond that -- what does it matter if their second son has loose morals, compared to the fact that he betrayed Konoha, that he feels nothing at the thought of betraying it again, that if he still could, he'd leave again in a heartbeat.
Ultimately, his parents aren't here, cannot judge what his life has become. If they were here -- even if the rest of the clan wasn't -- his life would be so different he doubts he would recognize himself; but they aren't, and torturing himself with what-ifs is a waste of time. He'll have to keep living with the thought that on this, at least, he would disappoint them. There are so many other things -- so much more important -- for which he knows he would not get their forgiveness.
Of the four people who still matter, only Sakura and the child might be embarrassed, and even then it depends how and when the rumor spreads. Naruto would laugh and brag if people asked him the truth about their sentimental arrangement, and nothing fazes Kakashi.
His mother might have accepted them, though. As long as her son was happy.
Overall, he's not really happy; but that's nothing out of the ordinary. There are still problems to fix and jutsu to learn and progress to make and his brother to kill.
He's not happy often, but Naruto and Sakura help him not be down or angry all the time either. He doesn't need them; he could do without them. But they're here and they're not going to let him go, and now, with the child, he can't let them go either. Even if it's not his. There are people who would love to get their hands on the Kyuubi's carrier's spawn. He'll kill them first, if Naruto doesn't.
Sakura smiles more these days; sometimes Sasuke catches himself smiling back. Naruto is insatiable in bed. Or out of bed. Everywhere.
The thought of losing his teammates makes him sick.
He shouldn't have stayed, after Naruto stopped him at the waterfall. He should have escaped from the hospital the second he could walk again. They're chaining him to them, to that village. They're dulling his resolve. They're not letting him hate enough.
Sasuke lives in terror of the day when Itachi will fix that mistake for him.
He knows it will be enough; it will be the one thing he's still missing. If Itachi kills them, Sasuke will kill Itachi, no ifs or buts, no "not strong enough yet", no fancy tricks needed. He's sure of it -- sure that that's the only guaranteed method. If Sakura and Naruto die, then Itachi will die too.
And then Sasuke will follow.
He used to be unable to enjoy his present because his dreams were in his past; now he can't enjoy it because his future holds nightmares. He hates his teammates a little, he thinks. His goal wasn't so impossible when he had nothing left to lose.
He never should have let them worm their way in. The only way to keep them safe would have been to cut them out. But it's too late for that. They're inside him.
He's trapped here, in Konoha. They're targets now. Leaving won't protect anyone anymore.
And so he sits in front of the shrine, and watches the incense sticks burn from tip to bottom. Those cousins he never knew smile at him from the picture, frozen and so far away he feels sometimes they have never been real, have never existed. Just like the boy he was, before his world was destroyed. Just like his family, with his strong father and gentle mother and that big brother he loved for and despite everything he was.
He wishes the child could have known his grandparents.
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You made me cry. Like, actually cry. Which doesn't happen all that often. How do you DO that? Your characterization of Sasuke is better than anyone else's that I've seen. It's just... it's Sasuke. It just is. You seem to understand him very, very well, which is rare in writers, I've noticed. It makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Well, Sasuke makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time, so I suppose that's nothing new. But still, the way you write him is phenomenal.
...
*worships you*
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*squishloves* Thank you for the comment.
i made you cry? yay! >Dit's the only sasuke icon I have. T.T He's messed up enough himself to warrant it?
Re: it's the only sasuke icon I have. T.T He's messed up enough himself to warrant it?
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(Anonymous) 2007-08-14 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)And man, the idea of Itachi still alive somewhere when Sasuke has a kid would be DAMN scary, were I him.
-- Guile
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He's trying not to think on it too much or he'd be terrified. It's like "omg he's going to kill my family all over again" except this time sasuke is adult-ish and the child is his responsibility, and it really is up to him to stop that. Since he already feels guilty enough from not being able to do anything as a child... D:
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I am trolling teh internets for porn anyway. XD <- *lol* Of course! Isn't that like the best thing to do ever? *^.^*
and camping gave me a few ideas for the chuunin exam for Teamwork. woohoo~ <- Yay! Yay for inspiration! *Cheers!!!!*
Hey! This morning, when you first posted, the fic portion wasn't there! *lol* You tricked me, Asuka. *^.^*
So, as usual, I tried quoting, and wound up re-posting. *>.<*
I love it. I love the introspection, the analysis, the characterization, the team dynamic, the relationships, the realism to the worries and motivations - the f'ing scary thought of Itachi still being around when Baby is born. *>.<* I love how you make us care about characters we've never known about till you mention them, how you make us feel and think in ways we never did before for the characters we do know and love, how the subtleties of your writing say so much! *^.^*
Yes. Well. Back to "Summer Cleaning". *;(^.^)*
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*MUAHAHAHAHAHA* Indeed I did trick you. >DDDDD *is greatly evil, didn't you know*
#.________.# #^^# ♥
nnrgh i want to IM you but you're always asleep when i get online! *huffs* Maybe when I'm back home and I can put my schedule back on USA hours. XDD
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(Anonymous) 2007-08-15 08:48 am (UTC)(link)-general lurker number 34533
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Hi lurker-type-person ♥ :3
*whee!*
new ideas for teamwork chuunin exam . . .. HOORAY!!!!
:D
hope your summer is going well
n__n
Re: *whee!*
Also I need to define the chuunin exam ideas so if you don't mihnd spoilers I could email you about it... XD;
my summer's going great. How is yours? Are the kids having fun too? ^^ (hopefully not too much fun. dreaming of putting them back in school yet? XD)
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Sakura smiles more these days; sometimes Sasuke catches himself smiling back.
D'awwww. I love how Naruto and Sakura have insinuated themselves into Sasuke's life and how Sasuke is responding to their affections in a positive and productive manner, even though he'll be looking over his shoulder all the time until Itachi is dead. Also, Killing Itachi making it onto Sasuke's "to do" list made me wibble and laugh at the same time. XD
So much love for your characterization. ♥ *fangirl babbling goes here*
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1. Naruto has no reason to bargain with the Kyuubi for power in your universe. So the seal is not weakening for him because he has never allowed the kyuubi to overflow into his being since he fought Sasuke on the bridge. The function the 4th intended for the seal is therefore proceeding on schedule, whereas in the main universe the more frequent plea for power from Naruto has allowed the Kyuubi to errode the seal somewhat. The kyuubi is still capable of "pumping up" with Naruto, but to a lesser degree, and is never allowed by Naruto to come out so much he can take over. Also, by the time of your story Naruto's own personality will have leaked into the Kyuubi in the same way Kyuubi is leaking into Naruto. So, we're dealing with a kinder, gentler sort of fox demon whose become fonder of the creatures around him (much to his deep annoyance).
2. Sasuke's seal could still be powered by Orochimaru. What's-his-face's blood might simply be one component of the seal. The design, and especially the pattern of the seal itself, was engineered by Orochimaru. Since "prime universe" Sasuke absorbs Orochimaru rather than killing him, he still has access that the "battery source" while keeping it dormant. Your Sasuke never had that option.
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Hee. The second one could work, too! First one, hrrm, sounds a bit too ... reaching, even though it could work in a pinch I guess. Blah, I'm not worried about not being uber-canon. Sometimes I think the very act that made the whole storyline diverge was somewhat questionnable already, so ehh.
...i should have noted down the reasoning I used for Naruto at the time T.T not sure I remember exactly how it went and what made him decide differently this time around. OH WELL. No one can be 100% canon anyway, that's kishi's job. >.>
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I love how you manage to keep him IC and still get the job done. Somehow it just *works*--like pieces of a puzzle, they fit and it's kinda hard to imagine them fitting any other way. At least, when I'm reading your stuff that's what I'm thinking. It's all in the quality of the writing, and I must say you've definitely got that down. ;3
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(Mind you, if Sasuke leaving everything to Naruto in his will doesn't say it, in Sasuke speak, then nothing will!)
And this is just perfect, in that very sweet, emotionally strangled, fucked up way of his.
I must admit, my only real exposure to Naruto is from reading Teamwork, and I'm almost too scared to get into it in case it doesn't live up to my now very high expectations. (Which is ironic because I first stalked you here for the GW, which I still have only seen half of
and OMG *runs around in dizzy spells* Drabble! Double Drabble! But of course they don't count *innocent whistle*)