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Covalent silliness - equius & caliborn chatlog
ok, i dunno if it’s worth much — i liked some of the lines a lot but i don’t know how strong it is as a whole piece. but it’s finished and aaaaaaa. so here it is.
This is part of the Covalent Bonds ‘verse, a post-game everyone is trolls on Alternia thing. And yes, Caliborn is now a troll, and really hates it.
(i did the quirks by hand so i might have missed a few. will reread & fix before i post on AO3)
--
-- undyingUmbrage [uu] started trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
uu: WHAT THE FuCK IS uP. WITH THIS CHAT CLIENT.
uu: TROLLING IS FOR LOSERS. WHERE IS THE JEERING OPTION.
CT: D--> I beg your pardon
CT: D--> Who the heck are you and why are you on my chumproll in the first place with your l00dicrous and despicable hemoanonymity
uu: I COuLD ASK YOu THE EXACT SAME FuCKING THING.
uu: BuT I WON'T. BECAuSE I'M NOT A DuMBASS.
uu: AND I ALREADY ASKED DIRK WHO THE FuCK YOu WERE. AND WHY YOu WERE ON MY CHuMPROLL.
CT: D--> Why are you then
CT: D--> Ah, let me hazard a guess
uu: GAME SHENANIGANS.
CT: D--> Game shenanigans
uu: WHY ARE YOu REPEATING WHAT I JuST SAID. ARE YOu THAT STuPID. TOO STuPID FOR ORIGINAL THOuGHT?
CT: D--> I was not
CT: D--> We merely came to the same conclusion at the same time and you happened not to have to type up a bow first
uu: OH. IT'S A BOW.
uu: I THOuGHT IT MIGHT BE YOuR TROLLISH PENIS.
uu: DIRK uSED TO DRAW STRANGE NONSENSICAL THINGS LIKE THAT. WHEN HE THOuGHT I WASN'T WATCHING.
uu: FOOL. I AM ALWAYS WATCHING.
CT: D--> What is a penis
CT: D--> No, it does not matter, no doubt it is silly and irrelevant
CT: D--> Why have you contacted me
uu: DIRK PROMISED. THAT HE WOuLD TALK TO ME JuST AS LONG. AS I TALKED TO OTHER PEOPLE. WHO WERE NOT MY COW OF A SISTER.
uu: I THINK YOu WILL FIND. THAT I EXCEL IN THE ARTS OF CIVILIZED CONVERSATION.
CT: D--> I fail to see why you sh00ld engage in them with me
uu: YOu WERE THE LEAST OFFENSIVE. ON ACCOuNT OF MY NOT KNOWING YOu.
uu: ALSO THE ONLY ONE ONLINE. WHO WAS NOT A HIDEOuS SHADE OF GREEN.
uu: SO.
uu: WHAT IS IT LIKE. BEING uGLY. AND A TROLL. WITH FREAKISH BLuE BLOOD.
CT: D--> Ah, yes
CT: D--> I find the fog of sleepiness lifted at last
CT: D--> You are the shrill and puny larval form of our enemy
uu: EXCuSE YOu.
CT: D--> A being so petty he sought to break everything he could not own
CT: D--> Admirable trait in a troll
uu: I AM NATuRALLY ADMIRABLE. AND GLORIOuS.
CT: D--> If one isn't a grote%e mutant-blooded mistake of course
uu: WAIT. I AM NOT. A FuCKING TROLL AT ALL!
CT: D--> You might not have been hatched one
CT: D--> But denial will get you nowhere
CT: D--> It is what you are now
CT: D--> A low, wretched excuse for a troll, but a troll all the same
CT: D--> The swill in your veins is what it is, but so is its vessel
CT: D--> Throwing tantrums about it will not change the truth of it
uu: I AM NOT. A TROLL.
CT: D--> You are indeed a troll
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: FuCKING NO.
CT: D--> Fu
CT: D--> Fudging yes
uu: NO!!
CT: D--> Yes
uu: I AM. NOT. A MOTHERFuCKING TROLL!!!
CT: D--> You are
CT: D--> You possess gray skin and horns on a trolloid body shape
CT: D--> Your body is that of a granted rather diminutive male of the troll species
CT: D--> You are a troll
CT: D--> You would do best to a%ept it
uu: NO I WOuLD NOT!!!
CT: D--> Yes
uu: THIS IS STuPID.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: NO!
CT: D--> I was agreeing with you about the idiocy of this futile e%ercise
uu: OH.
uu: WELL. GOOD.
CT: D--> Good
CT: D--> If there is no other conversation you wish to have I will go back to sleep
uu: WAIT.
CT: D--> Why
uu: BECAuSE. I COMMAND IT.
CT: D--> You are an abomination
CT: D--> Why sh00ld you get to command me
uu: BECAuSE I AM YOuR OBVIOuS SuPERIOR IN ALL THINGS. IS WHY.
uu: AND THAT OTHER ABOMINATION COMMANDS YOu JuST FINE. HYPOCRITE.
CT: D--> What
uu: THAT SCRAWNY. SHOuTY ASSHOLE. WITH THE ALMOST TOLERABLE HORNS.
CT: D--> You refer to Vantas and his borderline lack of such I presume
uu: SEE. YOu ARE NOT INCuRABLY STuPID.
uu: JuST MOSTLY SO.
CT: D--> Vantas is indeed an abomination
CT: D--> A remarkably
CT: D--> Forceful one
CT: D--> Your STRENGTH of personality might be a match
CT: D--> Your loudness and lewdness certainly are
CT: D--> Those are not the same things
uu: WHAT THE SHIT DO YOu EVEN MEAN.
CT: D--> That Vantas has proved himself worthy as a leader
CT: D--> And that you have not
CT: D--> Though you certainly have proved yourself as our enemy
CT: D--> I am willing to reserve judgment mostly so long as you keep your distances and do not force me to acknowledge your repulsive e%istence
CT: D--> Am I making myself clear
uu: WHY SHOuLD I CARE. WHAT YOu'RE WILLING TO RESERVE OR NOT.
uu: YOu HAVE OBVOuSLY NEVER BEEN SuBJECTED TO MY MASTERFuL LEADERSHIP.
uu: YOu WILL LEARN.
CT: D--> Are you suggesting that it is in any way a possibility that I will one day be working under you
uu: SEE. INTELLIGENCE. SOME OF IT.
uu: I WILL ONE DAY HAVE MY CLAWED FOOT ON YOuR STuPID NECK. IT IS PuRE FACT.
uu: YOu MIGHT BE ALIVE TO SERVE ME. OR YOu MIGHT BE AN uGLY MANGLED CORPSE.
CT: D--> Is this a quadrant solicitation
uu: A WHAT.
CT: D--> Never mind
uu: I AM VERY GENEROuS. SO I WON'T.
uu: NOW WHERE WERE WE.
uu: KEEP LISTENING TO ME. SO THAT I MAY FORCE DIRK TO LISTEN TO ME LATER. HE PROMISED ME THAT LONG.
CT: D--> Has it occurred to you that I might simply decide to log out, and there is nothing you may do to stop me
uu: NO!
uu: YOu OWE ME FOR BEING THE MOST BORING IDIOT I EVER TYPED AT.
CT: D--> May I suggest you try your luck with someone else
CT: D--> Maryam for example is still awake at this ungodly hour and is generally of a pleasant, patient disposition
CT: D--> You should be in possession of her trolltag
CT: D--> It is grimAu%iliatri%
uu: THERE IS NO ONE CALLED THAT IN MY LIST.
CT: D--> Can you not read a simple substitution quirk
CT: D--> She is the one situated between arsenicCatnip (who you shan't contact ever) and gallowsCalibrator
uu: OH.
uu: FuCK NO! I AM SO DONE WITH GREEN BITCHES.
uu: AND BITCHES IN GENERAL. BuT ESPECIALLY GREEN ONES. THEY'RE THE CRAZIEST.
CT: D--> You have already e%perienced the threat of her chainsaw then
CT: D--> A pity
uu: NO I HAVE NOT.
CT: D--> Yes you have
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: THIS THING YOU DO WITH YOuR POSTS REALLY DOES RESEMBLE A HuMAN PENIS.
uu: ALSO, NO.
CT: D--> What on Alternia is a penis
CT: D--> Also yes
uu: I DON'T KNOW. ASK DIRK. IT HAD A TON OF OTHER STuPID NAMES BuT FuCK IF I CAN REMEMBER THEM ALL.
CT: D--> More alien nonsense no doubt
CT: D--> E%tremely irrelevant nowadays, so I shan't bother a%ing
CT: D--> I am going back to sleep
uu: NO YOU FuCKING AREN'T.
uu: YOu SHOuLD BE PATHETICALLY GRATEFuL THAT I AM PAYING ATTENTION TO YOu AT ALL.
uu: AND NOT EVEN IN A PARTICuLARLY MuRDEROuS WAY. YET.
CT: D--> It has come to my mind that you might perhaps be practicing your caliginous flirting
CT: D--> Is that what you are doing
CT: D--> This is vile
CT: D--> I order you to stop
uu: MY WHAT.
CT: D--> Your
CT: D--> Urgh
CT: D--> Concupiscent hate flirting
uu: WHAT THE FuCK IS A CONCuPISCENT.
CT: D--> Vile se%ual desires
CT: D--> Replace the % with the appropriate %-looking letter
uu: WHAT??
uu: NO!
uu: FUCK NO, THAT IS DISGuSTING. I HATE YOu HARDLY AT ALL.
CT: D--> That is not reassuring
uu: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO WASTE MuCH TIME ON YOUR MuRDER YET.
uu: JuST MAYBE A COuPLE OF KICKS TO YOuR CORPSE AFTERWARDS. THAT IS THE uPPER LIMIT.
CT: D--> That is slightly better
uu: WHO WOuLD WANT TO DO THOSE.
uu: THINGS.
uu: IN THIS BODY ANYWAYS??
uu: MY FAT BITCH OF A SISTER TOLD ME. TROLLS DON'T HAVE A MATING FORM. AND HAVE THEIR LEWD PARTS ALWAYS OuT AND READY. THAT IS REVOLTING TO THE MAXIMuM. WHO WOuLD EVER SPARE A THOuGHT TO THOSE GROTESQuE SHENANIGANS??
CT: D--> It occurs to me your age might not quite correspond to that of the rest of our cohort
CT: D--> I admit the topic is indecorous to the e%treme but your rea%ion seems to me quite impasture
CT: D--> I meant immature
CT: D--> Apologies, this topic is quite flustering
uu: IT IS NOT IMMA FuCKING TuRE TO NOT WANT TO WONDER. HOW TROLLS EVEN KNOW WHICH IS THE LOSER, BEARING MATE OF THE TWO. WHEN MY COW OF A SISTER MAKES ME READ uPSETTING STORIES WHERE FuCKING ROXY AND DIRK. DO **BOTH AT ONCE.**
CT: D--> Fudge darn it
CT: D--> I do not have enough towels in the whole hive for this
-- centaursTesticle [CT] stopped trolling undyingUmbrage [uu] --
uu: HEY.
uu: YOu COME BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
uu: WE HAVE NOT SPENT EVEN HALF ENOuGH TIME BONDING TOGETHER.
uu: I ORDER YOu TO GET YOUR GROSS TROLL FACE BACK ON THE COMPuTER RIGHT NOW.
CT: D--> Discourse with you feels like being inappropriately accosted by the ghost of a five sweeps old Vantas
uu: WHAT.
CT: D--> A less verbose, less all-encompassingly domineering ghost to boot
CT: D--> I order you never to contact me again
CT: D--> Or at least to complete the appropriate biology module first
uu: I ORDER YOU TO STOP ORDERING ME AND TO OBEY MY PREVIOuS ORDER.
uu: OR I WILL MuRDER YOu.
uu: PLATONICALLY!!
CT: D--> I am sure you are engaging in no denial whatsoever
CT: D--> Somehow it is of no help when it comes to swallowing this conversation
-- centaursTesticle [CT] blocked undyingUmbrage [uu] --
uu: HEY! THAT'S CHEATING.
--
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] started trolling undyingUmbrage [uu] --
AC: :33 < hi cattyporn!!
AC: :33 < whoops. i meant cattyborn.
uu: ARE YOu ANOTHER GREEN BITCH.
uu: GO AWAY.
AC: :33 < *the kitty ignores the grumpy troll and finds a good spot to curl up on*
AC: :33 < *she licks her paw disdainfully and says, haha nope! i heard a kitten n33ded a crash course on two-legged hornbeast repurroduction*
AC: :33 < *also she wants to make her furiend the sunset-maned hoofbeast happy, and she knows that so does the grumpy grub over here, no matter how much he grumps rudely about it!*
uu: ARE YOu TALKING ABOuT ME.
uu: I WANT NO SuCH THING.
uu: WHY ARE YOu REFERRING TO ME AS A HOOFBEAST. WHAT EVEN IS A HOOFBEAST.
AC: :33 < dirk is the hoofbeast, stupid! calleopard told me you've been stalking him for SW33PS and you don't even know he likes horses? that's not furry observant ://
uu: OH. RIGHT. HE HAD THAT WEIRD TINY HORSE. I NEVER THOuGHT ABOuT IT.
AC: :33 < maybe you *should* think more about it if you want to get anywhere! i don't think you can really care, but at least try to think of it as tactical infurmation.
AC: :33 < nyow I am going to explain all about repurroduction to you!
uu: OH FuCK NO.
AC: :33 < oh fuck y33ssss.
uu: I WILL CHEW OFF MY TYPING HANDS. AND ESCAPE.
AC: :33 < *the kitty grins and her tongue lolls out*
AC: :33 < and after that just to make dirk happy let's have a long nice talk about gr33n bitches and why you shouldn't threaten their moirails if you plan on sl33ping with both eyes closed ever again.
This is part of the Covalent Bonds ‘verse, a post-game everyone is trolls on Alternia thing. And yes, Caliborn is now a troll, and really hates it.
(i did the quirks by hand so i might have missed a few. will reread & fix before i post on AO3)
--
-- undyingUmbrage [uu] started trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
uu: WHAT THE FuCK IS uP. WITH THIS CHAT CLIENT.
uu: TROLLING IS FOR LOSERS. WHERE IS THE JEERING OPTION.
CT: D--> I beg your pardon
CT: D--> Who the heck are you and why are you on my chumproll in the first place with your l00dicrous and despicable hemoanonymity
uu: I COuLD ASK YOu THE EXACT SAME FuCKING THING.
uu: BuT I WON'T. BECAuSE I'M NOT A DuMBASS.
uu: AND I ALREADY ASKED DIRK WHO THE FuCK YOu WERE. AND WHY YOu WERE ON MY CHuMPROLL.
CT: D--> Why are you then
CT: D--> Ah, let me hazard a guess
uu: GAME SHENANIGANS.
CT: D--> Game shenanigans
uu: WHY ARE YOu REPEATING WHAT I JuST SAID. ARE YOu THAT STuPID. TOO STuPID FOR ORIGINAL THOuGHT?
CT: D--> I was not
CT: D--> We merely came to the same conclusion at the same time and you happened not to have to type up a bow first
uu: OH. IT'S A BOW.
uu: I THOuGHT IT MIGHT BE YOuR TROLLISH PENIS.
uu: DIRK uSED TO DRAW STRANGE NONSENSICAL THINGS LIKE THAT. WHEN HE THOuGHT I WASN'T WATCHING.
uu: FOOL. I AM ALWAYS WATCHING.
CT: D--> What is a penis
CT: D--> No, it does not matter, no doubt it is silly and irrelevant
CT: D--> Why have you contacted me
uu: DIRK PROMISED. THAT HE WOuLD TALK TO ME JuST AS LONG. AS I TALKED TO OTHER PEOPLE. WHO WERE NOT MY COW OF A SISTER.
uu: I THINK YOu WILL FIND. THAT I EXCEL IN THE ARTS OF CIVILIZED CONVERSATION.
CT: D--> I fail to see why you sh00ld engage in them with me
uu: YOu WERE THE LEAST OFFENSIVE. ON ACCOuNT OF MY NOT KNOWING YOu.
uu: ALSO THE ONLY ONE ONLINE. WHO WAS NOT A HIDEOuS SHADE OF GREEN.
uu: SO.
uu: WHAT IS IT LIKE. BEING uGLY. AND A TROLL. WITH FREAKISH BLuE BLOOD.
CT: D--> Ah, yes
CT: D--> I find the fog of sleepiness lifted at last
CT: D--> You are the shrill and puny larval form of our enemy
uu: EXCuSE YOu.
CT: D--> A being so petty he sought to break everything he could not own
CT: D--> Admirable trait in a troll
uu: I AM NATuRALLY ADMIRABLE. AND GLORIOuS.
CT: D--> If one isn't a grote%e mutant-blooded mistake of course
uu: WAIT. I AM NOT. A FuCKING TROLL AT ALL!
CT: D--> You might not have been hatched one
CT: D--> But denial will get you nowhere
CT: D--> It is what you are now
CT: D--> A low, wretched excuse for a troll, but a troll all the same
CT: D--> The swill in your veins is what it is, but so is its vessel
CT: D--> Throwing tantrums about it will not change the truth of it
uu: I AM NOT. A TROLL.
CT: D--> You are indeed a troll
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: FuCKING NO.
CT: D--> Fu
CT: D--> Fudging yes
uu: NO!!
CT: D--> Yes
uu: I AM. NOT. A MOTHERFuCKING TROLL!!!
CT: D--> You are
CT: D--> You possess gray skin and horns on a trolloid body shape
CT: D--> Your body is that of a granted rather diminutive male of the troll species
CT: D--> You are a troll
CT: D--> You would do best to a%ept it
uu: NO I WOuLD NOT!!!
CT: D--> Yes
uu: THIS IS STuPID.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: NO!
CT: D--> I was agreeing with you about the idiocy of this futile e%ercise
uu: OH.
uu: WELL. GOOD.
CT: D--> Good
CT: D--> If there is no other conversation you wish to have I will go back to sleep
uu: WAIT.
CT: D--> Why
uu: BECAuSE. I COMMAND IT.
CT: D--> You are an abomination
CT: D--> Why sh00ld you get to command me
uu: BECAuSE I AM YOuR OBVIOuS SuPERIOR IN ALL THINGS. IS WHY.
uu: AND THAT OTHER ABOMINATION COMMANDS YOu JuST FINE. HYPOCRITE.
CT: D--> What
uu: THAT SCRAWNY. SHOuTY ASSHOLE. WITH THE ALMOST TOLERABLE HORNS.
CT: D--> You refer to Vantas and his borderline lack of such I presume
uu: SEE. YOu ARE NOT INCuRABLY STuPID.
uu: JuST MOSTLY SO.
CT: D--> Vantas is indeed an abomination
CT: D--> A remarkably
CT: D--> Forceful one
CT: D--> Your STRENGTH of personality might be a match
CT: D--> Your loudness and lewdness certainly are
CT: D--> Those are not the same things
uu: WHAT THE SHIT DO YOu EVEN MEAN.
CT: D--> That Vantas has proved himself worthy as a leader
CT: D--> And that you have not
CT: D--> Though you certainly have proved yourself as our enemy
CT: D--> I am willing to reserve judgment mostly so long as you keep your distances and do not force me to acknowledge your repulsive e%istence
CT: D--> Am I making myself clear
uu: WHY SHOuLD I CARE. WHAT YOu'RE WILLING TO RESERVE OR NOT.
uu: YOu HAVE OBVOuSLY NEVER BEEN SuBJECTED TO MY MASTERFuL LEADERSHIP.
uu: YOu WILL LEARN.
CT: D--> Are you suggesting that it is in any way a possibility that I will one day be working under you
uu: SEE. INTELLIGENCE. SOME OF IT.
uu: I WILL ONE DAY HAVE MY CLAWED FOOT ON YOuR STuPID NECK. IT IS PuRE FACT.
uu: YOu MIGHT BE ALIVE TO SERVE ME. OR YOu MIGHT BE AN uGLY MANGLED CORPSE.
CT: D--> Is this a quadrant solicitation
uu: A WHAT.
CT: D--> Never mind
uu: I AM VERY GENEROuS. SO I WON'T.
uu: NOW WHERE WERE WE.
uu: KEEP LISTENING TO ME. SO THAT I MAY FORCE DIRK TO LISTEN TO ME LATER. HE PROMISED ME THAT LONG.
CT: D--> Has it occurred to you that I might simply decide to log out, and there is nothing you may do to stop me
uu: NO!
uu: YOu OWE ME FOR BEING THE MOST BORING IDIOT I EVER TYPED AT.
CT: D--> May I suggest you try your luck with someone else
CT: D--> Maryam for example is still awake at this ungodly hour and is generally of a pleasant, patient disposition
CT: D--> You should be in possession of her trolltag
CT: D--> It is grimAu%iliatri%
uu: THERE IS NO ONE CALLED THAT IN MY LIST.
CT: D--> Can you not read a simple substitution quirk
CT: D--> She is the one situated between arsenicCatnip (who you shan't contact ever) and gallowsCalibrator
uu: OH.
uu: FuCK NO! I AM SO DONE WITH GREEN BITCHES.
uu: AND BITCHES IN GENERAL. BuT ESPECIALLY GREEN ONES. THEY'RE THE CRAZIEST.
CT: D--> You have already e%perienced the threat of her chainsaw then
CT: D--> A pity
uu: NO I HAVE NOT.
CT: D--> Yes you have
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: NO.
CT: D--> Yes
uu: THIS THING YOU DO WITH YOuR POSTS REALLY DOES RESEMBLE A HuMAN PENIS.
uu: ALSO, NO.
CT: D--> What on Alternia is a penis
CT: D--> Also yes
uu: I DON'T KNOW. ASK DIRK. IT HAD A TON OF OTHER STuPID NAMES BuT FuCK IF I CAN REMEMBER THEM ALL.
CT: D--> More alien nonsense no doubt
CT: D--> E%tremely irrelevant nowadays, so I shan't bother a%ing
CT: D--> I am going back to sleep
uu: NO YOU FuCKING AREN'T.
uu: YOu SHOuLD BE PATHETICALLY GRATEFuL THAT I AM PAYING ATTENTION TO YOu AT ALL.
uu: AND NOT EVEN IN A PARTICuLARLY MuRDEROuS WAY. YET.
CT: D--> It has come to my mind that you might perhaps be practicing your caliginous flirting
CT: D--> Is that what you are doing
CT: D--> This is vile
CT: D--> I order you to stop
uu: MY WHAT.
CT: D--> Your
CT: D--> Urgh
CT: D--> Concupiscent hate flirting
uu: WHAT THE FuCK IS A CONCuPISCENT.
CT: D--> Vile se%ual desires
CT: D--> Replace the % with the appropriate %-looking letter
uu: WHAT??
uu: NO!
uu: FUCK NO, THAT IS DISGuSTING. I HATE YOu HARDLY AT ALL.
CT: D--> That is not reassuring
uu: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO WASTE MuCH TIME ON YOUR MuRDER YET.
uu: JuST MAYBE A COuPLE OF KICKS TO YOuR CORPSE AFTERWARDS. THAT IS THE uPPER LIMIT.
CT: D--> That is slightly better
uu: WHO WOuLD WANT TO DO THOSE.
uu: THINGS.
uu: IN THIS BODY ANYWAYS??
uu: MY FAT BITCH OF A SISTER TOLD ME. TROLLS DON'T HAVE A MATING FORM. AND HAVE THEIR LEWD PARTS ALWAYS OuT AND READY. THAT IS REVOLTING TO THE MAXIMuM. WHO WOuLD EVER SPARE A THOuGHT TO THOSE GROTESQuE SHENANIGANS??
CT: D--> It occurs to me your age might not quite correspond to that of the rest of our cohort
CT: D--> I admit the topic is indecorous to the e%treme but your rea%ion seems to me quite impasture
CT: D--> I meant immature
CT: D--> Apologies, this topic is quite flustering
uu: IT IS NOT IMMA FuCKING TuRE TO NOT WANT TO WONDER. HOW TROLLS EVEN KNOW WHICH IS THE LOSER, BEARING MATE OF THE TWO. WHEN MY COW OF A SISTER MAKES ME READ uPSETTING STORIES WHERE FuCKING ROXY AND DIRK. DO **BOTH AT ONCE.**
CT: D--> Fudge darn it
CT: D--> I do not have enough towels in the whole hive for this
-- centaursTesticle [CT] stopped trolling undyingUmbrage [uu] --
uu: HEY.
uu: YOu COME BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
uu: WE HAVE NOT SPENT EVEN HALF ENOuGH TIME BONDING TOGETHER.
uu: I ORDER YOu TO GET YOUR GROSS TROLL FACE BACK ON THE COMPuTER RIGHT NOW.
CT: D--> Discourse with you feels like being inappropriately accosted by the ghost of a five sweeps old Vantas
uu: WHAT.
CT: D--> A less verbose, less all-encompassingly domineering ghost to boot
CT: D--> I order you never to contact me again
CT: D--> Or at least to complete the appropriate biology module first
uu: I ORDER YOU TO STOP ORDERING ME AND TO OBEY MY PREVIOuS ORDER.
uu: OR I WILL MuRDER YOu.
uu: PLATONICALLY!!
CT: D--> I am sure you are engaging in no denial whatsoever
CT: D--> Somehow it is of no help when it comes to swallowing this conversation
-- centaursTesticle [CT] blocked undyingUmbrage [uu] --
uu: HEY! THAT'S CHEATING.
--
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] started trolling undyingUmbrage [uu] --
AC: :33 < hi cattyporn!!
AC: :33 < whoops. i meant cattyborn.
uu: ARE YOu ANOTHER GREEN BITCH.
uu: GO AWAY.
AC: :33 < *the kitty ignores the grumpy troll and finds a good spot to curl up on*
AC: :33 < *she licks her paw disdainfully and says, haha nope! i heard a kitten n33ded a crash course on two-legged hornbeast repurroduction*
AC: :33 < *also she wants to make her furiend the sunset-maned hoofbeast happy, and she knows that so does the grumpy grub over here, no matter how much he grumps rudely about it!*
uu: ARE YOu TALKING ABOuT ME.
uu: I WANT NO SuCH THING.
uu: WHY ARE YOu REFERRING TO ME AS A HOOFBEAST. WHAT EVEN IS A HOOFBEAST.
AC: :33 < dirk is the hoofbeast, stupid! calleopard told me you've been stalking him for SW33PS and you don't even know he likes horses? that's not furry observant ://
uu: OH. RIGHT. HE HAD THAT WEIRD TINY HORSE. I NEVER THOuGHT ABOuT IT.
AC: :33 < maybe you *should* think more about it if you want to get anywhere! i don't think you can really care, but at least try to think of it as tactical infurmation.
AC: :33 < nyow I am going to explain all about repurroduction to you!
uu: OH FuCK NO.
AC: :33 < oh fuck y33ssss.
uu: I WILL CHEW OFF MY TYPING HANDS. AND ESCAPE.
AC: :33 < *the kitty grins and her tongue lolls out*
AC: :33 < and after that just to make dirk happy let's have a long nice talk about gr33n bitches and why you shouldn't threaten their moirails if you plan on sl33ping with both eyes closed ever again.
no subject
Hahaha!
no subject