askerian | fic & memething - tripletsverse! nananananana~

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fic & memething - tripletsverse! nananananana~

Okay. READ THE FICLET THINGER FIRST. it's kinda choppy and the pacing is weird and it gets really cracktastic in places, though i'm not sure it's actually FUNNY, but.

I've had this bunny poking me for the last, oh, two years? I think.

So when Kiba saw two blond heads bouncing in tandem down the street, one spiky and the other one pony-tailed, the only reason he did a doubletake was that, at first, he'd registered the second one as Ino with a boob job.

Which, uh, yeah.

On second look it was only one of Naruto's idiotic sexy no jutsu clones. Shoulda guessed. Then again they did look different when dressed. Rolling his eyes, he kept walking, following Akamaru's leisurely trot.

Of course two seconds later Naruto was hailing him, and man but his voice carried.

"Hey, Naruto," he said, watching the male one, though he couldn't say he was one hundred percent sure Naruto hadn't switched it off so the real one would be the chick. Naruto did like playing with assumptions, and after their little run she was breathing hard in a remarkably realistic way.

Ahem.

"Kiba!" exclaimed the male Naruto. "Kiba, you've got to help!"

Kiba and his dog tilted their heads together. "Yeah?"

"Have you seen me?"

Kiba blinked. Okay, that was a new one. "Nope."

"You sure? -- ah, but not me-me. More like--"

"A redhead me," said the girl clone.

She was wearing clingy black shorts and an oversized boy's t-shirt, which was really unusual. When Naruto dressed his clones, it tended to be with stuff like bikinis (or one time bondage gear. Naruto's jutsu was really stupid, but Kiba didn't deny that he also happened to be a red-blooded male led around quite often by his dick. Stupid or not he appreciated the concept just the same.)

"A redhead you. Uh huh. Lemme guess, your kage bunshins magically became real people and took off for the hills. Through a hair salon."

Naruto flailed his arms in agitation. "Damn it, I'm not kidding!"

"He's really not!" said the girl, and pouted at Kiba. It was at least a seven on the 'you evil monster' guilt trip scale, damn Naruto for knowing how to play those heartstrings so well!

"Shyeah right!" he retorted, advancing on the duo. "Like I haven't been tricked enough by your stupid kage bunshi... Uh."

The clone blinked at him. She had huuuge eyelashes. Also, no bra.

"...Why," Kiba demanded, "is this going squish instead of poof."

There was a short moment of total silence, during which the male Naruto stared at Kiba's hand, and Kiba stared at Kiba's hand as well, with its fingers digging in boobage, and the girl Naruto blinked.

"Ow."

"GAH!"

Kiba retreated to the other side of the street, hyperventilating just a tiny bit. Holy shit.

"--Okay, haha, you got me, very funny. Now how the hell did you DO that?"

Akamaru sniffed at the girl's bare knee, tilted his head in confusion, and barked.

"... You... didn't do that?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" replied the boy Naruto, flinging his hands in the air.

"Um, no, you weren't," said the girl.

"Shaddap, you," said the boy. Kiba whimpered. "Anyway, the other me, he's. Actually he's not really me-like. He's kinda, uh, glary?" He used his fingers to tug at the corners of his eyes, making them narrower and rather stupid-looking.

"Just with red hair," continued the girl, bouncing on her toes for no reason Kiba could discern, save that she seemed just as hyperactive as boy-Naruto. With just as much bra-wearing. "Well, technically it's more like something between light brown and orange, so orangeish, but you see what I mean. Kinda... Burnished? Is that the word I want?"

"How the hell should I know?" boy-Naruto growl-whined back. "I didn't even know we knew that word!"

"AAAA SHUT UP!"

The ... twins? clones? twins? stared at him in tandem, blinking identical blue eyes.

"Now what the hell is going on?" He pointed at the chick. "You're -- real?"

She pouted at him, looking a little hurt. He huffed and crossed his arms defensively. "Okay, you're real, you're real. I meant. Not a kage bunshin?" He was gonna have to add new levels to that scale of 'you big mean monster, you' if she kept escalating it.

"Oh, no, no. I'm Kyuubi."

She smiled. With dimples.

Kiba's brain broke a little.

"Well." She paused, pursed her lips, playing absently with a long ponytail as she thought. "Just half of Kyuubi, technically."

"Aha. Ha. Oh. Just half! Well, if that's all DAMN IT I FELL FOR IT AGAIN."

He shook his fist at Naruto, ready to punch that smile off.

Naruto wasn't smiling. In fact, he was kind of... whimpering. Also, tugging on his hair with both hands. Kind of like what Kiba wanted to do right now, actually. Copycat.

"It's not a jooooke damn it, help me, we need to find him already!"

The girl sighed, grabbed Kiba's elbow, and started dragging him down the street. "When there's a big great scroll, and it's supposed to be sealing half your chakra away, and someone says, Kiba, don't touch it... Well. Don't touch it."

The worst thing was, if you had known Naruto long enough, it made total sense.

"... My head hurts. Goddamn it, Naruto, why do you always do this to me." He wasn't sure which one to glare at, so he glared at the boy, who was trudging his way at Kiba's other side. (it was hard glaring at the girl when he could feel his arm cushioned against the side of her boob.) Akamaru faithfully took it upon himself to glare at the girl in his stead.

He was having all sort of thoughts on where the boy shirt had come from, because the spandex shorts weren't Naruto's -- Sakura's, most likely, and if Sakura had to lend a pair it meant the girl had popped into existence without any. Aaand it just so happened Naruto was shirtless under his jacket, and Kiba was thinking way too hard about the likely absence of panties lines on those shorts and how much he wasn't going to check, really he wasn't. Goddamnit, Naruto. Both of them.

Naruto kept trudging ahead, shoulders bowed as if carrying the world, and only very reluctantly so.

Girl-Naruto watched her sort-of-twin for a second, and sighed, and then a determined light started burning in his eyes. Kiba cringed.

"You know what?" she whispered in a caressing voice that sent shivers down to his toes. (Mostly from how scared shitless his own reaction to her made him. She was either a trap or a demon, and it worked anyway. Damn it, Naruto.) "The faster you find him for us, the sooner you can go home and drink yourself to sleep and forget aaaall about it. How's that? You just have to track him down and we'll handle the rest and tomorrow it'll have been just a silly dream."

She hugged his biceps a little tighter.

"Yeah, that sounds very tempting," he agreed, sadly. "But the only reason you smell different from Naruto is that you smell girly. And I can tell that you guys have been spending I don't know how many hours running all over the place. So unless your third twin's a dickgirl, it ain't gonna happen."

Suddenly the two were planted in the middle of the street, heels dug in, letting him carry on with his momentum. The girl was still holding his arm; he almost got whiplash for his troubles.

"Couldn't you say that sooner?!"

Akamaru whined and rubbed a paw against his ear. Kiba was tempted to do the same. He was pretty sure boy-Naruto had hit a higher note than his counterpart.

Two seconds later he and his dog were alone in the middle of the street, watching the wonder twins tear off, throwing insults to him and each other. They seemed to have a dispute going on about the wisdom of fessing up to Tsunade.

... It was good advice. Bed. Alcohol. Never happened.

Yeah.

(damn but he really hated Naruto's ability to make awesome hot chicks.

Should get him to do it more often.)

-------------

So basically my idea was that ... well. Somehow, in a manner that shall be explained at some point (probably), Naruto gets separated into three people, Naruto, Naruko, and Kyuunaru.

They proceed to make Konoha into their personal harem, but that is neither here nor -- actually, yes. Yes it is.

I earlier problem was that I tried to twist this so it would fall in a precise point or other in the canon continuity. Problem was the only two that worked for my purposes were 1) just after Jiraiya kicked the bucket, which = naruto in a bad emo mood, or 2) just before the training arc with Killerbee, where all the rookies are kinda >:/ at Naruto and vice versa, Sakura is riding out the shame of the failfession, and Sasuke has gone off the deep end and Karin and Suigetsu and Juugo aren't around anymore to rile him up woe woe.

Therefore, fuck that noise, this is set in a generic Part 2 post-Orochimaru timeline where everyone happens to be in good terms* and to hell with the details.

*apart from Sasuke, who at the start is only on goodish terms with team hebitaka, if you can call it that.

Hell, and also Itachi is still alive.

Might as well.

askerian: wait, did Itachi die before or after they captured Killerbee? because i liek the (brief and fleeting) camaraderie of post-killerbee Taka ;__;

askerian: ... BUT I LIKE KYUU/ITA SEXINGS MORE.

sarolynne: .....

sarolynne: Pfffft.

sarolynne: (Before, because Sasuke wouldn't have been working for Madara with Itachi still alive.)

askerian: ... DAMN IT.

askerian: okay then.

askerian: they can forge their brotherhood in the fires of Kyuubi's ardent pursuit, which they must ally to defend Sasuke from.

So there you are, wondering why the heck I'm telling you guys all that.

And it's because I want to attempt to write this silly little 'verse in a silly, quick way (though some scenes will likely be SERIOUS!! or something. idk, don't ask me, i'm just the writer, it's not like i control that shit.) and

suzukiblu manages it pretty well for her ATLA fic so I'm gonna steal the format. Hah.

Give me a character you want one of the triplets (or even all three) to meet, and a prompt -- location, or mood, stuff like that. Please not abstract or poetic prompts, I suck hardcore at those. Three prompts each tops, I'll choose.

Like always I make no promises i'll manage to get it written, because I suck like that and also i'm gonna have to go to bed soonish and when I wake up the bunnies might be in hiding again, but I REALLY hope not because it fills me with so much cracky glee.

I'm gonna try to make myself write porn for this. O__o *crosses fingers*

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So how did Naruko get a pair of Sakura's shorts?

Also, does this mean Kyuunaru is running around Konoha naked? If so, who does he meet first and what is that person's reaction?

Do all three Narutos care the same amount about bringing Sasuke home (and for the same reasons)? I'd love to see them planning a "rescue" mission with Sakura and Kakashi kind of trying to ride herd on the madness.

Also, does this mean Kyuunaru is running around Konoha naked? If so, who does he meet first and what is that person's reaction?

If it were anyone other than Kyuubi, I'd hazard a guess that the reaction of the first person he meets would be to have their clothes stolen. But somehow I doubt he'd give a damn about clothing.

This one is for both you and

flowerflute, because, well. XD

--

In a way he was many centuries old.

In another way, a little over twenty minutes.

He watched the village sprawl out under him, that village he hated for trapping him, two times in a row, for producing Madara who had manipulated him, Minato who had recaptured him after he had only just been freed and then torn him in two, for daring not to let itself be destroyed when he had decided it shall be.

That village he... (loved) wanted.

It had to recognize him, he would not allow otherwise. And he would not allow the others -- his littermates, his other selves -- to stop him, or manipulate him to their own ends; he was sick and tired of that, not even from them.

But he was starting to think that... truly, the thought of someone else destroying it pissed him off.

It was his to destroy or not, at his whim, not anyone else's. It was his... his to own.

Fuck Danzou anyway. The old bitch Tsunade was permissible, because he couldn't be bothered with the little details of daily life, using an administrator was fine, and she loved Naruto like her own and would cede her place when the time came because she knew who the village truly belonged to. Danzou wanted to own the village and be its absolute master, and there wasn't enough space on this country for the both of them. On this continent, even.

He dug his claws into the rock he was sitting on. The Fourth's head. Take that, bitch, I'm scratching you.

He better not get any hard proof that the man had planned this whole mess from the start, or he'd... hn. There wasn't a lot he could still do by now. Perhaps obliterate his too-cool face from the mountain, but that was about it, and he had the annoying feeling the man wouldn't have cared.

"Nice view."

He frowned. Who the hell dared?

A girl, a human female, with brown hair in silly-looking buns. Naruto's age, or thereabout. He couldn't find her in his vague memories of the important ones, if any human could be called so. He let out a low growl.

She arched an eyebrow. "Something in your throat?" she asked, friendly as you please, and started juggling absently with a razor-sharp kunai. Flick it went, cutting the air, and twirling down.

He had the strange thought that she manipulated it less like a potentially dangerous tool and more like a detachable claw.

"What do you want?"

"Just saying hello. It's rare to find other people up here."

She shrugged, took a few steps closer to the edge, though not any closer to him, not watching him anymore. The kunai kept twirling, up and down and spinning on itself all the while. He kept his grumbling that if he threw her overboard there would be one less person under his breath.

If the town was his to do whatever he wanted it to, then its inhabitants were his too.

He would get rid of the useless ones, and the ones who got on his nerves, but this one with her metal claw, perhaps he would allow her another chance to prove herself. So long as she didn't annoy him beyond recognition.

For a half-hour he sat in silence, ignoring her. She didn't talk. Good. He returned to his thoughts.

He was different now. He had been made different. That he had been manipulated into a mold irritated him, made him want to lash out.

He thought it was likely the end result hadn't been part of any plan, and that soothed his pride.

He wouldn't have wanted to go back to the way he was, anyway. This way felt natural already, and besides he was free, and if he had to go human and tailless until he found a way to go back to foxhood, that was better than being a fox in a cage that didn't even exist in the real world and where not even the rats visited him.

He got up, stared down at the village.

His village now. Yes. That was decided.

He glanced back at the girl, sitting on a rock, legs crossed, eyes heavy-lidded in deep thought, perhaps meditation.

"Still here?"

She shrugged, a crooked half-smile on her lips. "What can I say, I like the view."

He snorted, walked past her across the Fourth's head, toward the cliff.

"And while we're onto that topic... Mind if I ask why you're naked?"

Oh, TenTen. So practical.

I had a long comment but my computer crashed and I am too tired to recreate it. Basically, yay, you can see Naruto's influence on Kyuubi (though he's fighting to deny it), yay TenTen being totally awesome and not reacting to a naked guy who looks kind of like Naruto, and yay the analogy of TenTen's knives being like detachable claws. :-) I think those were the high points.

Aw, evil computer. It's alright, you hit the main points. I'm really glad you yay'd at it.

And, because I loev you the bestest ohoho~ The why and how of how come Naru-chan ended up wearing Sakura's shorts.

Eeeee! *puts off going to bed another few minutes*

Ahhhhhhh! I love you. That was awesome. (Oh, TenTen, so coolheaded. I love practicality. It's just...guh.)

Ahahaha. Oh gosh.

Obviously, clothes impair thinking ability.
Nudity is a sign of genius.

... I like the way you think. XD Obviously Naruto is hampered by his big jacket.

... oh man, i need to write a triplets ficlet where they get dressed in the morning and fight over who gets to wear the jacket. because i don't think naruto owns several of them. >____>

i am absolutely adoring this 'verse! It's so fantastic XD

also,

BEST.LINE.EVER.

He dug his claws into the rock he was sitting on. The Fourth's head. Take that, bitch, I'm scratching you.

Tenten! <3 I love how you had her appreciating naked Naruto in Foxplay, and I like her here too. Yang Kyuubi's introspection is interesting, and nicely written.

erm... I was just re-(re-re-re-re-re-)reading this, and noticed a couple things:
"that village he hated for trapping him, two times in a row, for producing Madara" 'two times in a row' should be "twice in sequence", since you can't put two trapped Kyuubis (and/or two villages that trapped a Kyuubi?) side by side (ie, a row). Although, given the content... well, yes, you can put two trapped Kyuubis side by side, I suppose, but anyway!
"He kept his grumbling that if he threw her overboard there would be one less person under his breath." 'Overboard' is used pretty much exclusively for ships. 'over the edge' or 'off the cliff' makes much more sense.
Sorry if you knew these things already, and just didn't notice them, but I'm a nitpicking nitpicker who nitpicks. And you might not've.

Two times in a row can be used to mean twice in sequence. Though, one might say twice in a row instead. But anyway, in row is also used to mean sequential events, at least it's often used that way where I live.

True, true. It's often used that way where I live as well. But, as I'ver already said, I'm a nitpicking nitpicker who nitpicks, and well... being used often doesn't make it grammatically correct. -.-

Well, if you plot events on a timeline and they happen sequentially, then they are lined up, and thus "in a row". Turns of phrase and the meaning of words change over time with use.

I know. And it's a sad, sad thing. Except when it's cool.

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fic & memething - tripletsverse! nananananana~

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Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

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Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!

Re: Kyuunaru's first meeting!