fic & memething - tripletsverse! nananananana~

[askerian]

Okay. READ THE FICLET THINGER FIRST. it's kinda choppy and the pacing is weird and it gets really cracktastic in places, though i'm not sure it's actually FUNNY, but.

I've had this bunny poking me for the last, oh, two years? I think.


So when Kiba saw two blond heads bouncing in tandem down the street, one spiky and the other one pony-tailed, the only reason he did a doubletake was that, at first, he'd registered the second one as Ino with a boob job.

Which, uh, yeah.

On second look it was only one of Naruto's idiotic sexy no jutsu clones. Shoulda guessed. Then again they did look different when dressed. Rolling his eyes, he kept walking, following Akamaru's leisurely trot.

Of course two seconds later Naruto was hailing him, and man but his voice carried.

"Hey, Naruto," he said, watching the male one, though he couldn't say he was one hundred percent sure Naruto hadn't switched it off so the real one would be the chick. Naruto did like playing with assumptions, and after their little run she was breathing hard in a remarkably realistic way.

Ahem.

"Kiba!" exclaimed the male Naruto. "Kiba, you've got to help!"

Kiba and his dog tilted their heads together. "Yeah?"

"Have you seen me?"

Kiba blinked. Okay, that was a new one. "Nope."

"You sure? -- ah, but not me-me. More like--"

"A redhead me," said the girl clone.

She was wearing clingy black shorts and an oversized boy's t-shirt, which was really unusual. When Naruto dressed his clones, it tended to be with stuff like bikinis (or one time bondage gear. Naruto's jutsu was really stupid, but Kiba didn't deny that he also happened to be a red-blooded male led around quite often by his dick. Stupid or not he appreciated the concept just the same.)

"A redhead you. Uh huh. Lemme guess, your kage bunshins magically became real people and took off for the hills. Through a hair salon."

Naruto flailed his arms in agitation. "Damn it, I'm not kidding!"

"He's really not!" said the girl, and pouted at Kiba. It was at least a seven on the 'you evil monster' guilt trip scale, damn Naruto for knowing how to play those heartstrings so well!

"Shyeah right!" he retorted, advancing on the duo. "Like I haven't been tricked enough by your stupid kage bunshi... Uh."

The clone blinked at him. She had huuuge eyelashes. Also, no bra.

"...Why," Kiba demanded, "is this going squish instead of poof."

There was a short moment of total silence, during which the male Naruto stared at Kiba's hand, and Kiba stared at Kiba's hand as well, with its fingers digging in boobage, and the girl Naruto blinked.

"Ow."

"GAH!"

Kiba retreated to the other side of the street, hyperventilating just a tiny bit. Holy shit.

"--Okay, haha, you got me, very funny. Now how the hell did you DO that?"

Akamaru sniffed at the girl's bare knee, tilted his head in confusion, and barked.

"... You... didn't do that?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" replied the boy Naruto, flinging his hands in the air.

"Um, no, you weren't," said the girl.

"Shaddap, you," said the boy. Kiba whimpered. "Anyway, the other me, he's. Actually he's not really me-like. He's kinda, uh, glary?" He used his fingers to tug at the corners of his eyes, making them narrower and rather stupid-looking.

"Just with red hair," continued the girl, bouncing on her toes for no reason Kiba could discern, save that she seemed just as hyperactive as boy-Naruto. With just as much bra-wearing. "Well, technically it's more like something between light brown and orange, so orangeish, but you see what I mean. Kinda... Burnished? Is that the word I want?"

"How the hell should I know?" boy-Naruto growl-whined back. "I didn't even know we knew that word!"

"AAAA SHUT UP!"

The ... twins? clones? twins? stared at him in tandem, blinking identical blue eyes.

"Now what the hell is going on?" He pointed at the chick. "You're -- real?"

She pouted at him, looking a little hurt. He huffed and crossed his arms defensively. "Okay, you're real, you're real. I meant. Not a kage bunshin?" He was gonna have to add new levels to that scale of 'you big mean monster, you' if she kept escalating it.

"Oh, no, no. I'm Kyuubi."

She smiled. With dimples.

Kiba's brain broke a little.

"Well." She paused, pursed her lips, playing absently with a long ponytail as she thought. "Just half of Kyuubi, technically."

"Aha. Ha. Oh. Just half! Well, if that's all DAMN IT I FELL FOR IT AGAIN."

He shook his fist at Naruto, ready to punch that smile off.

Naruto wasn't smiling. In fact, he was kind of... whimpering. Also, tugging on his hair with both hands. Kind of like what Kiba wanted to do right now, actually. Copycat.

"It's not a jooooke damn it, help me, we need to find him already!"

The girl sighed, grabbed Kiba's elbow, and started dragging him down the street. "When there's a big great scroll, and it's supposed to be sealing half your chakra away, and someone says, Kiba, don't touch it... Well. Don't touch it."

The worst thing was, if you had known Naruto long enough, it made total sense.

"... My head hurts. Goddamn it, Naruto, why do you always do this to me." He wasn't sure which one to glare at, so he glared at the boy, who was trudging his way at Kiba's other side. (it was hard glaring at the girl when he could feel his arm cushioned against the side of her boob.) Akamaru faithfully took it upon himself to glare at the girl in his stead.

He was having all sort of thoughts on where the boy shirt had come from, because the spandex shorts weren't Naruto's -- Sakura's, most likely, and if Sakura had to lend a pair it meant the girl had popped into existence without any. Aaand it just so happened Naruto was shirtless under his jacket, and Kiba was thinking way too hard about the likely absence of panties lines on those shorts and how much he wasn't going to check, really he wasn't. Goddamnit, Naruto. Both of them.

Naruto kept trudging ahead, shoulders bowed as if carrying the world, and only very reluctantly so.

Girl-Naruto watched her sort-of-twin for a second, and sighed, and then a determined light started burning in his eyes. Kiba cringed.

"You know what?" she whispered in a caressing voice that sent shivers down to his toes. (Mostly from how scared shitless his own reaction to her made him. She was either a trap or a demon, and it worked anyway. Damn it, Naruto.) "The faster you find him for us, the sooner you can go home and drink yourself to sleep and forget aaaall about it. How's that? You just have to track him down and we'll handle the rest and tomorrow it'll have been just a silly dream."

She hugged his biceps a little tighter.

"Yeah, that sounds very tempting," he agreed, sadly. "But the only reason you smell different from Naruto is that you smell girly. And I can tell that you guys have been spending I don't know how many hours running all over the place. So unless your third twin's a dickgirl, it ain't gonna happen."

Suddenly the two were planted in the middle of the street, heels dug in, letting him carry on with his momentum. The girl was still holding his arm; he almost got whiplash for his troubles.

"Couldn't you say that sooner?!"

Akamaru whined and rubbed a paw against his ear. Kiba was tempted to do the same. He was pretty sure boy-Naruto had hit a higher note than his counterpart.

Two seconds later he and his dog were alone in the middle of the street, watching the wonder twins tear off, throwing insults to him and each other. They seemed to have a dispute going on about the wisdom of fessing up to Tsunade.

... It was good advice. Bed. Alcohol. Never happened.

Yeah.

(damn but he really hated Naruto's ability to make awesome hot chicks.

Should get him to do it more often.)



-------------

So basically my idea was that ... well. Somehow, in a manner that shall be explained at some point (probably), Naruto gets separated into three people, Naruto, Naruko, and Kyuunaru.

They proceed to make Konoha into their personal harem, but that is neither here nor -- actually, yes. Yes it is.

I earlier problem was that I tried to twist this so it would fall in a precise point or other in the canon continuity. Problem was the only two that worked for my purposes were 1) just after Jiraiya kicked the bucket, which = naruto in a bad emo mood, or 2) just before the training arc with Killerbee, where all the rookies are kinda >:/ at Naruto and vice versa, Sakura is riding out the shame of the failfession, and Sasuke has gone off the deep end and Karin and Suigetsu and Juugo aren't around anymore to rile him up woe woe.

Therefore, fuck that noise, this is set in a generic Part 2 post-Orochimaru timeline where everyone happens to be in good terms* and to hell with the details.

*apart from Sasuke, who at the start is only on goodish terms with team hebitaka, if you can call it that.

Hell, and also Itachi is still alive.

Might as well.

askerian: wait, did Itachi die before or after they captured Killerbee? because i liek the (brief and fleeting) camaraderie of post-killerbee Taka ;__;
askerian: ... BUT I LIKE KYUU/ITA SEXINGS MORE.
sarolynne: .....
sarolynne: Pfffft.
sarolynne: (Before, because Sasuke wouldn't have been working for Madara with Itachi still alive.)
askerian: ... DAMN IT.
askerian: okay then.
askerian: they can forge their brotherhood in the fires of Kyuubi's ardent pursuit, which they must ally to defend Sasuke from.


So there you are, wondering why the heck I'm telling you guys all that.

And it's because I want to attempt to write this silly little 'verse in a silly, quick way (though some scenes will likely be SERIOUS!! or something. idk, don't ask me, i'm just the writer, it's not like i control that shit.) and suzukiblu manages it pretty well for her ATLA fic so I'm gonna steal the format. Hah.

Give me a character you want one of the triplets (or even all three) to meet, and a prompt -- location, or mood, stuff like that. Please not abstract or poetic prompts, I suck hardcore at those. Three prompts each tops, I'll choose.

Like always I make no promises i'll manage to get it written, because I suck like that and also i'm gonna have to go to bed soonish and when I wake up the bunnies might be in hiding again, but I REALLY hope not because it fills me with so much cracky glee.

I'm gonna try to make myself write porn for this. O__o *crosses fingers*

Comments

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

Kyuubi and Itachi meet?

Kyuubi and Itachi meet - 1/2

[askerian]

"Huh. You're not the right Uchiha."

Uchiha Itachi finished his tea. He didn't allow himself to tense, not visibly, but the man perched at the other end of his bench smiled anyway, like a white flash of bones through dark skin.

The stance, the expression, the color of his eyes, the sun-tanned bronze of his skin, all was alien. Perversely, it was the eyes he recognized first, red as his own and slitted like a cat's.

Like a fox's.

He'd never seen Uzumaki Naruto furious before, but he'd had it described. This... wasn't anger; it was more dangerous.

"Naruto-kun," he replied quietly, putting the cup down on the table with a little click. The white smile widened. More of a smirk, really, a shark's grin.

Then it all disappeared like it had never been there, the smirk and the amusement and all human emotions, and behind it there was just a predator's stare, weighing him, musing to itself, 'I wonder if I can eat you'.

Itachi watched him back, calculating how much time he could win, how much he could lower the fox's guard. Likely not enough, but he couldn't not try.

"What should I call you, then?"

A snort. "Do I need a name?"

Itachi inclined his head in acquiescence. That was the end of that opening gambit.

He had been trying to capture him with the sharingan from the second their eyes met, but the innate control he should have had over Kyuubi seemed to be deflected by Naruto's human body, dampening the usual flaring of his red chakra; there was nothing to get a hold of. His more basic genjutsu attempts on the human brain couldn't find a foothold in the perpetually fluctuating chakra. It was fascinating, and also quite frustrating. He had other tricks, but they would take more time and energy than he had hoped he'd need to spare.

A long, long stare. Another smirk, blooming slow and tortuous.

"Nice to be sure."

Itachi didn't ask 'of what.' It was bothersome enough without allowing him to brag. He wondered if that new immunity to the sharingan had been deliberately induced, then. Who he had been planning to use it against.

"Where's your brother?"

Ah. And there was the answer to that question.

But the fox didn't attack when he read the gathering threat in Itachi's stance, the rise of his killing aura, and that lack of reaction stilled him, poised on the edge of movement. Instead of an assault, there was a long silence, and then sudden laughter, rough like a dog's bark.

"...You want to protect him from me." Chuckle. "YOU want to protect HIM from ME. That's the best joke I've heard in a decade!"

A flash of movement, and Itachi had a kunai through the fox's hand, who didn't seem to care because now he was crouched over Itachi's legs, trapping him on the bench. He stilled with his face close, fanged jaws closed, so Itachi paused with his second kunai similarly halted, one inch from spilling his entrails on his lap.

"What do you want with my brother?"

The fox started growling, so low it was almost more vibration than sound. "What do you want with my bitch?"

-- Ah. And here Itachi had believed Uzumaki Naruto was gone, or suppressed. But no, this wasn't it. This...

"Perhaps that wasn't the wrong name after all," he said quietly, watching the fox's red eyes. "Naruto-kun."

Kyuubi and Itachi meet - 2/2 + Omake, free of charge!

[askerian]

A flicker of reaction, not annoyance but recognition. The annoyance came on its heels but still too late.

This... wasn't Kyuubi, or not only. The behavior, the threats, yes -- but Kyuubi was a giant, hateful fox. He didn't see humans as potential sex partners, much less sharingan owners.

Naruto, now... Itachi had wondered.

But he hadn't worked so hard to ensure Sasuke's survival just to see him become a fox-demon's sex slave either. And Madara would be too happy to find his targets clustered.

The fox's nostrils fluttered. "...You smell sick."

"I'm dying," Itachi admitted. "I can still fight you."

The fox snorted, though not in disdain, closer to 'I knew that.' Almost pensive as he looked at him. And there -- there, Itachi could see Naruto.

"What are you protecting Sasuke for? To fight him later? Breeding stock? To fuck him? What?"

Itachi had had his commitment to his brother questioned before -- mostly by Orochimaru -- but this was the first time the question came without heavy sarcasm or perverse delight. He couldn't help but sigh, and smile, a little bit. It hadn't even been designed to get a rise out of him. Just because the thought had crossed his head. That was Naruto indeed.

Even the way his eyes darkened in anger at Itachi's silence was more Naruto than not.

"Hey."

"Sasuke is safe enough where he is right now," Itachi said, abrupt once he had made his decision. "But there's a danger coming that, as you and he are now, no one can protect you from." He paused to take stock of the fox's expression... An eyebrow arched, dubious, but listening still. Good enough. "There are plans in progress to change that. If you interfere you'll both die."

The fox's face twisted into a disdainful sneer, unconvinced. "Not good enough."

It went against the grain to let anyone into the confidence, but other people would need to know, soon. Itachi dropped one word.

"Madara."

The fox stilled over him, for a moment not even breathing anymore. The next exhalation came out as a hiss between clenched teeth.

"... I'm listening."

-------

omake!

itachi: ... well. this is certainly better than wanting to eat his entrails. I am still afraid that i do not approve of you. You shall not pass.
kyuubi: poo. :-( ... so either we fight and one of us keels over AND the survivor can't even bone sasuke
itachi : PROTECT sasuke
kyuubi: ... :-D or we compromise.
itachi: ?
kyuubi: bend over. :-D :-D :-D
itachi: ... weren't we about to kill each other.
kyuubi: *hi there tongue* Changed my mind. Be grateful.
itachi: ... -/___\-;;; *kawarimi!* yes well i have a meeting with kisame goodbye. *poofs*
kyuubi: ... Mmmmm. he wants me. >3

[charcoalcat.livejournal.com]

YAY PROMPT TIME! (so fun)

'Kay, you know my brain is functioning on low fuel right now, so forgive the sillies.

-Bathhouse. Naruko. Boy side or girl side? And if it isn't going overboard, Hinata or Neji encounter. Is that more than one prompt?

-Actually first impulse would be Naruko, in the bathhouse, with Tsunade, but it somehow doesn't seem practical.

-Team Me-Myself-and-I encountering Sasuke for the first time as a group.

Okay, that is the upper limit to my sense making. Hopefully one of those is good. ^__^ Thank you for letting me play. <3

'Kay, bed now.

[hiza-chan.livejournal.com]

-Team Me-Myself-and-I encountering Sasuke for the first time as a group. Seconding this.

Also curious about this bit about Itachi meeting KyuuNaru. But mostly I just wanna see how the Naru/Sasu/Saku OT3 is with this because boy!Naru/girl!Naru/Kyuubi!Naru/Sasu/Saku OT5 would be uh. Smoking hot.

[askerian]

-Bathhouse. Naruko. Boy side or girl side? And if it isn't going overboard, Hinata or Neji encounter. Is that more than one prompt?

ARE YOU READING MY MIND. ♥♥♥♥♥♥ that was one of the scenes I wanted to write anyway XD XD XD woohoo naruko and hinata. I wonder if i can manage porn or at least naughty stuff for this, ohoho. :D

[oo-da-lally.livejournal.com]

Naruko meets Konohamaru and crew on a D-Rank mission?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm assuming Naruko only has Naruto's (and Kyuubi's experiences) to draw from, so either dealing with her first period or some of the ladies taking her aside to explain the purpose of a bra. (And shopping!)

[askerian]

This is an AWESOME idea.

[inverts.livejournal.com]

I like this premise so, so much. |D

Also hells yeah, screw canon timeline! MULTIPLE NARUTO HAREMS WAIT FOR NO CANON.

[moonylala.livejournal.com]

Kyuunaru's first encounter with Team Taka
Karin's reaction to having Naruko to compete with as well now
I would love to see how Iruka deals with three Narutos:)

This is an awsome idea! I'm so exited, first a Sasuke in space fic-bit and now this, my Naruto obsession is fed to well here:)

[edenfalling]

So how did Naruko get a pair of Sakura's shorts?

Also, does this mean Kyuunaru is running around Konoha naked? If so, who does he meet first and what is that person's reaction?

Do all three Narutos care the same amount about bringing Sasuke home (and for the same reasons)? I'd love to see them planning a "rescue" mission with Sakura and Kakashi kind of trying to ride herd on the madness.

[kiyakotari.livejournal.com]

Also, does this mean Kyuunaru is running around Konoha naked? If so, who does he meet first and what is that person's reaction?

If it were anyone other than Kyuubi, I'd hazard a guess that the reaction of the first person he meets would be to have their clothes stolen. But somehow I doubt he'd give a damn about clothing.

[(Anonymous)]

'great big' scroll seems to make more sense to me than 'big great' scroll. Anyway, I love Kiba reacting like a normal guy to Naruto's ability to produce sexy women on command.

As for the prompt... gotta be the rest of Team 8, for me. Maybe Fem-Naruto trying her mojo on Shino to get the bug network underway to find KyuuNaru(would it be funier if it worked, or if it didn't?). Maybe Hinata's brain overloading at the thought of multiple permanent Narutos, or Hinata encountering KyuuNaru him(her?)self.

-- Guile

[joisbishmyoga.livejournal.com]

(quick note: it's hair salon, not saloon)

"WTF GET OFF ME AAAAA I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE GOOD KYUUBI."
"Oh, but I am the good Kyuubi! I use lube." *sparkle* ("Or I used to, anyway, but I guess being female has its perks." :D)

[flowerflute.livejournal.com]

Hinata crushing even more fiercely than usual on Naruko
OR
TenTen and KyuuNaru interaction
OR
Kiba dreams of dickgirl KyuuNaru.

I'm sorry I'm so crackish with my prompts

[askerian]

... i loev your prompts actually. ♥ thank you~

[sunhawk6498.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking that KyuuNaru runs into Gaara who wants to show One-tail who's boss and ends up topping Gaara who's all 0.o wtf?

[askerian]

I'm thinking this would be kinda post-extraction though, so Gaara doesn't have it anymore.

... Naruto or Kyuunaru on Gaara, now, that's doable. I'll try prodding my bunnies, see what happens! >.>

[midnigh-unicorn.livejournal.com]

I haven't read any of the prompts so I don't know if this is in there but:

How hungry are they after all this splitting and shit?
Does Naruko have to watch what she eats now?
Is there an audience when she starts figuring out her femaleness? And wouldn't it be hilarious if she asked Kakashi and/or Iruka for advice?

For some reason I want to see Haku but I know that doesn't fit.

If Kyuubi views the other two as littermates, like siblings, is he really gonna want to bang 'em? Or is the 'haremness' more the three of them conquering everyone but each other?

[ex-drakyn.livejournal.com]

I kind of want to see Tsunade's reaction to the triplets.
Gai and Kyuu's interactions would be hilarious--especially from Kakashi's POV...

[askerian]

:D

Tsunade's reaction for you!

[lurker-lost.livejournal.com]

I second the Iruka/Kakashi dealing with three Narutos! idea above.

Also the Tsunade ones: the three of them lined up in Tsunade's office, Kyuu-naru restrained if he has to be (oh my god, he would HATE that so much!!)

Ino + Naruko, and the fact that they look alike, kind of.
Do they get along? Ino probably approves of the kitsune-things, and Naruko would be fascinated by Ino's femininity. Or they might become rival kunoichi using poor Shika as the competition ground?

And not so much a prompt, as a question: where do they eat and sleep?

[na-no-nai.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I like this idea! Kiba is, of course, appropriately traumatized. (and Ino would kick him in the balls for that comment about her boobs. lol)

*off to read more*

[skellywag.livejournal.com]

I am wondering whether Naruto/Naruko/Kyuunaru would count as masturbation or incest. >_>;;; But either way this is an absolutely fantastic 'verse and I can't wait to read more. (The Ita/Kyuunaru was Brilliant, btw.)

I wish I could think of prompts, but the things I want to see (Kakashi's and Gaara's reactions) have already been mentioned, so I think I'll just stalkerpin this post wait and see if the bunnies cooperate. ♥

[deepgreen18]

One thing that has been bugging me since I read Tsunade's story: how will Naruto have to change his technique. She said "rework it from the ground up", but what does that mean? How much chakra does he have now, and can he work back up to his previous demon-enhanced levels? Does he go back to school? Will the others go with him? Will they even let Kyuunaru train, if he decides to? I realize this is mostly a fluffy world made for pairings, but this issue keeps popping into my head.

[askerian]

XD Well, it certainly started as an idea that was only there for the shipping, but I can never help thinking too much about that kind of thing so, yes, Naruto's chakra issues will be brought up. I don't want to give spoilers though. i'm a tease like that >D

[(Anonymous)]

This anon is curious wonders what would happen if KyuuNaru discovered Karin's reaction to biting. Perhaps he's spying on Sasuke after a fight and notices her obvious orgasm and decides there's an opportunity here. Or perhaps he's just a total perv, peeping in random bathhouses, realizes who he's found, crashes their healing party and demands sexytimes. Of both. Or one. This anon is not picky and either would be amazing.

This anon also wonders what Sai would do with KyuuNaru's aforementioned walking around naked. Actually, the village's reactions period would be priceless.

[askerian]

... this asuka likes this anon's ideas very much. ohohoho. *_* I'll put 'em in the plotbunny hutch and see what happens.

[lioness-stalker.livejournal.com]

This universe cracks me up. Thank you for being such an awesome writer!

I would like to see interaction between Shika, Naru, and Naruko. for some odd reason I keep laughing when thinking about it.

Or even between Lee and Naruko...

[sara-the-lazy.livejournal.com]

Eee, this is a great intro to the tripletsverse! I love Kiba POV especially when it comes to him figuring things out (like when he smells Sakura and Naruto on Sasuke). It's nice seeing the yin side of Kyuubi as intelligent even though she's in a bimbo-y body. I'm looking forward to reading moreee! Also, Naruto, Naruko, and Kyuunaru are sexy and should have a threesome, because it's so wrong that it's right (oh my god I just wrote "so wrong that it's write, I must be exhausted *uses grammar icon again in shame*)

As for the continuity, you could just say fuck the continuity and just put a disclaimer for what has and hasn't happened. It might be easier.