askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (24_HOHOHO)
askerian ([personal profile] askerian) wrote2009-04-12 04:59 pm

more retarded GW bunnies that will never get anywhere!



Heero: *returning inside house after seeing to safety and snacks of Most Beloved Daughter and young Friends* *wearing a peculiar look of "huh" on face*
Duo: Oh god. *already trying not to smile* What is it this time?
Heero: *thoughtful and slightly bemused* ... Was I the last to know that Daughter had a crush on Her Classmate?
Duo: *SNERKahem* Er. Well. ... Yes. *takes a pondering mitigating expression* I mean... Yes.
Heero: *eyetwitch* By at least several weeks, I take it.
Duo: *snerk, bis repetitae* If by weeks you mean months, sure.
Heero: *... sits in couch* *does most decidedly not flop*
Duo: *snerk, the return of the revenge*
Heero: ... I knew this day would come. *mutter* just not that soon.
Duo: *vaguely mocking shoulder pat* It's just a crush. You've got at least, oh, five years before it becomes anything else.
Heero: *slowly looks up in Duo's face* *stare* In five years she will be thirteen.
Duo: Yeah, so?
Heero: *... does not flop. not!* *instead he massages the bridge of his nose*
Duo: *still valiantly trying not to laugh his ass off*
Heero: *... quiet, incredulous chuckle*
Duo: *slow blink and mock-worry* Okay, you're worrying me.
Heero: Hah. *look of "dude, I'm worrying me".* I'm a logical person. *pause*
Duo: ... yeeeah, I think we can say that...
Heero: I've read parenting books.
Duo: *good-humored eyeroll* Just a few dozens.
Heero: *very patient, logical tone* I know the best thing to do is to make sure she is properly informed, has access to contraceptives, and knows we will not judge her for her choices, so she doesn't use promiscuity as a form of rebellion and doesn't need to look for male attention and validation through sex. And if she chooses to have sex anyway, there is nothing wrong with that, as long as she keeps herself safe.
Duo: Yeeeees?
Heero: *massages the bridge of his nose. massage massage.*
Duo: *gentle elbow jab of love in the ribs*
Heero: My first thought was "sawn-off shotguns don't have enough long-range accuracy."
Duo: *DISSOLVES into laughter*
Heero: *rueful, almost silent chuckles, eyes closed, shoulders shaking with laughter*
Duo: *tries to breathe* *looks at Heero* *fails*
Heero: *siiiigh* *can't help "what the hell, self" smile*
Duo: *bwahahahahaha* *wheeze* ... Congrats, daddy, it's a girl.
Heero: *grumbles* It's so illogical!
Duo: It is. *u_______________u*
Heero: She's smart enough not to choose an asshole. He's a nice kid.
Duo: *snrrrk*
Heero: She's eight. He's eight.
Duo: *pffffhahahahaha*
Heero: *groan*
Duo: *comforting arm around his shoulder* *still chuckling quietly* Whaddya know, I guess it's just paternal instinct.
Heero: It's primitive and illogical.
Duo: Instinct.
Heero: *sighs and smiles a little* I guess I can live with paternal instinct. *pause* And a good rifle.
Duo: *smiles at* *almost innocently* Nah, the shotgun's reload action is totally better for intimidation purposes.

[identity profile] rosalui.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
...Dude. It WORKS. ILU 1+2!!!!!!
tephra: Photo portrait of a doll with shaggy, dark orange and copper hair, wearing a pink slouchy hat and sky blue glasses. (Default)

[personal profile] tephra 2009-04-12 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Duo: *smiles at* *almost innocently* Nah, the shotgun's reload action is totally better for intimidation purposes.

I don't know, a bolt-action rifle has a very similar reload action, at least as far as the person on the wrong end of it is concerned. XD
tephra: Photo portrait of a doll with shaggy, dark orange and copper hair, wearing a pink slouchy hat and sky blue glasses. (Default)

[personal profile] tephra 2009-04-12 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Pump-action shotguns are indeed very intimidating. :D

With a bolt-action rifle you lift a lever, pull the bolt back toward yourself (ejecting a spent casing if you have fired previously), a new shell feeds into the bolt from a magazine, and you return the bolt to the forward position and lower the level. The arm motion ends up being very similar to the pump action. With practice you can do it pretty damned quick too and you get a complicated ratchetting sound.

Lever-action has a different motion, moving a lever down and forward, rather than the backward motion of the pumps and bolts.

All of them are damned scary from the wrong end. :D

According to Wiki there are pump-action rifles (and bolt-action shotguns), though for some reason the general association is pumps for shotguns and bolts for rifles.

I'd say my gun knowledge is the product of being American but really it's more likely to be because I've lived with people that collect and/or regularly use guns. Disregarding two years in college there's always been someone in the household that has experience with guns (including my grad school roommate).

There's nothing quite like going up to you housemate and saying "I need an art reference for a Remington whatever-the-fuck-it-was sniper rifle" and instead of being handed a copy of Gun Digest open to the right page you get handed the rifle. O.o

[identity profile] kittychan1986.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
*Dies laughing* "shotguns don't have enough long-range accuracy." Oh Heero you're such a DORK! AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT! *Giggling* And Duo is all "Am I supposed to be the straight man here or can I cackle at him without issue?" Heero flailing at parenting issues amuses me on some deep level.

[identity profile] kittychan1986.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
And how exactly would he get those kids? *Is very curious* My personal Head Canon for the GW boys and related cast is weird. But still...I think in any head canon, Heero is a dork, a very deadly dork, but a dork none the less.

Re: ahahaha comment was too long. oh self. x____x

[identity profile] kittychan1986.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
O.O Asuka is teh awesome... *Worships* Wow....You put alot of thought into this. ((WEREWOLVES! HEERO! AS A WOLF! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)) Also...only place I've ever seen Hilde and Heero in more than 'Let's ignore at eachother because we're both attached to Duo" Plausably presented...which is weird...Why is it that GW Lends itself so well to AUs, again? (("The other is Wufei" OMFG! *Dies, is dead*.)) Your head canon is a truely cool and sparkily place of wonderfulness that is the G-boys (Or at least Heero) as Werewolves...Werewolves have always been my mythic beast of choice and Heero is just..so...gah....and the kids and the puppies! *Weep of pure joy* I don't think the plot sounds silly, I think it sounds awesometastic.

I think Heero, even if he and Relena go the rout that I think they will with him being a sperm donor, would still have a strong attachment to the kid, if only because it would be his only family outside of the carefully forged relationships with the other Pilots. He been alone for so long, even if he tried the whole "I don't care, I was just there to share sperm." wouldn't work too well. He tends to get a weeee bit attached.

This was utterly awesome, Asuka. Like, completely....Utterly....awesome. *Nodnod*



((You must excuse me, I've had like four hours of sleep.))

[identity profile] questofdreams.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
... hahahahahahahahahah xD Don't mess with the gundam pilots' kid o_o

Frankly, I sympathize. *looks at own daughter who wrote a love letter to Freddy from iCarly* *wince* D8

[identity profile] lilai.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh ! Made of AWESOME !

*dying laughting, familly looking at her suspiciouslly*
ext_132474: green keys (flowers)

[identity profile] luel-exana.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Is the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun and a threat to get his testicles shot off if he does anything shady what's going to greet dear beloved little Daughter's very first date after he rings the doorbell? :D; haha Oh Heero, ILU. ♥

[identity profile] hardcoreheathen.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Heero: I thought it was an assault!
Daughter: >:|
Heero: I had no idea you were dating. It could have been a rapist!
Daughter: >:|
Heero: You should have told me.
Daughter: >:|
Heero: ...sorry?
Daughter: >:|

[identity profile] rurounitriv.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
And you just know that the Death Glare is going to be hereditary. XD

[identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com 2009-04-14 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
As the mother of a daughter that's not funny at all. And yet... I laughed. *snerk* That's just priceless! ^o^