teamwork whine.

[askerian]

Nurgle. Couldn't write worth shit this week.



"Oh, hey, I didn't know they made teams with three girls."

The trio of sixteen-year-old Konoha genin sitting on the guardrail gave Naruto a long glare he could only describe as annoyed and weary. What had he said now? He scratched his head, gave Sakura a quick look, but she had her 'politely trying to hide the awkwardness' smile on; he was pretty sure she didn't have a clue either.

"Uh, sorry," he apologized, just in case, and tightened his grip on the guardrail when the ferry lurched in the waves. "Everyone says the same thing all the time, don't they?"

The one with the sleek, smoke-gray hair down to her ass glared at him, and the petite blonde rolled her heavily made-up eyes, a smirk on her pouty lips. "Juuust a bit. It was only hilarious the first twenty-seven times or thereabouts."

"Sorry, sorry -- hilarious?"

The tall, Amazonesque redhead grunted, and shifted her spear from one solid shoulder to the next. "Mostly it's the fact that there's only two girls on this team."

"--Oh." Naruto stared at the trio, caught by surprise. They were all dressed kinda girly to him. Blondie had cleavage, and gray-hair's face was way too delicate, even with the heavy scowl. Naruto stared up at the redhead and gave her -- him! Him! -- a disarming smile. "Sorry?"

The blonde one snickered. "... I lied, it's still damn hilarious."

"Oh, fuck you," the grey-haired one snapped.


+


She snorts. "None of that firstborn son nonsense. As if you can tell who'd be the better leader by when they're born and what's between their legs."

"Ahh. Makes sense. But does that mean you just... Take the strongest?"

She gives him a cynically amused look. "We're not dogs either. No fighting for the lead." He winces, but before he can decide whether she'll bite if he doesn't apologize, she continues. "The leader is usually chosen amongst the strongest, though. We're a clan of fighters. It doesn't make sense to have a leader we can't follow in battle. But they've got to be smart as well, and have people like them. Doesn't matter if they're strong and smart, if they're so rotten no one's willing to deal with them."




And that's all she wrote. =_=; Damn it Naruto, tell me more than how your chapter ends. What do you WANT?? Random "meet fun OCs!!" crap that doesn't really serve the plot? Making out with Sasuke and/or Sakura -- when, how, how do they react?? A talk with Gaara maybe -- what about?? just tell meeee aaah omg you asshole. *foams at the mouth* What am I supposed to dooooo just skip the whole beginning of the second task and jump to the evilness? But there would be no build up! No subtle introduction of the threat! No nothing!! Why can't you give me some good lead-in alreadyyyyy aaaaaaah *froth froth* nurgh. Huhn. Hrrrrn.

Comments

[uminohikari.livejournal.com]

XDDD *pets*

[ivyadrena.livejournal.com]

I can't belive I'm saying this, but zomgmoreOCnessnaoplskthx! <3

[tricia1224.livejournal.com]

I take it the grey-haired one is the guy. Well, that could lead to way to much fun from KyuNaru, maybe some confusion. Hmm, fighting in the next round, or conversation before the first round. Anyway it is funny.
Conversation with Inazuka: How to become a great leader.
Naruto: I can do this, just beat everyone until they make me Hokage.
Inazuka: But they've got to be smart as well...
Naruto:...
You could jump to the evilness and then come back to it after Naruto has a fit about you not writing his part.

[mignonne422.livejournal.com]

Lololol

I loved that. I can totally see it happening. Especially from Naruto. I mean, Haku? Lolol.

Have you thought about trying to write the scene from someone elses pov to see what's going on? It might, maybe could help? At least it'd give you a springboard if it does and then you can go back and see what Naruto thinks about it all.

Or yeah, just write the end first and then go back and fill the beginning in. I normally write around whatever sentence or scene pops into my head, and it is rarely (read, only ever happened twice) the part that goes first.

I totally sympathize, sweetie. I've been dealing with a chapter from hell this week too. *huggles*

[lissiel.livejournal.com]

Aww... you should keep them. Grey-hair and sasuke could bond. *lolol*

[proanon.livejournal.com]

*grins* Well, it would make sense to introduce some of the other students taking the test - particularly if, potentially, they might get mixed up in whatever building threat is coming.

Or, like I said last time: go ahead and skip! It's not like you absolutely Must Show Everything As It Happened In The Order That It Happened. True, you might miss a chance to show a slowly building threat - but, do you know how you plan to show that threat? If not, don't sweat about it too much. You've dropped a few hints, and there's something to be said for shock value...

[bootoye.livejournal.com]

So the grey-haired one is a guy?

I am intrigued. Try to include them into the fic! PLZ!

[mydarkseclusion.livejournal.com]

I love the OCs! Especially the grey-haired one (I want to know his naaaaame *obsessed with names*). I hope they get included in the fic.

...OH GOD what is wrong with me I usually hate OCs.

*pat pat* I hope Naruto starts talking to you again soon.

[wanderingscroll.livejournal.com]

Naruto stared up at the redhead and gave her -- him! Him! -- a disarming smile. "Sorry?"

The blonde one snickered. "... I lied, it's still damn hilarious."

"Oh, fuck you," the grey-haired one snapped.

Um, I'm confused, is the grey-haired or the red-haired one the guy?

[sara-the-lazy.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry Teamwork isn't wanting to get written... but I like these snippets very much for what it's worth. "Team Kunoichi" sounds hilarious... and the second snippet is intriguing, looking forward to seeing what that's all about.

~Sara