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So there I was minding my own business on some forum or other when I see they've posted a "tips to beginner writers" sticky. So of course, being the humble person that I am, I went and added my two cents.
It ended up more like 200€. I really should learn how to keep my mouth from running off without me. >_>;
First, about "he said, she yelled"... Try not to use "he said" every line. It's not forbidden, but try using words that give an idea of how it sounds, what kind of emotion is in it. "He whispered," "she growled," "he snapped," "she muttered, resentful," "he repeated mockingly."
Or you can put it before the dialogue, to vary the sentence structures a little.
Sasuke huffed and crossed his arms, annoyed. "I can't believe you're doing that."
Then you go to the next line -- just remember, for every change of speaker, you MUST open a new paragraph.
If the character isn't using any special kind of tone, just don't add anything, before or after. It's not necessary to add a descriptor or a modifier every line, as long as you use something from time to time to remind us who's talking. It lets what is being said stand out and sometimes that's good too.
1) Know how your characters speak. What sort of vocabulary do they have, extended, poor, sophisticated? How polite are they? How dynamic do they sound? (never ever use more than two exclamation points together, by the way. Ever. Published writers very rarely use more than one.) Are they the shy-quiet type, the antisocial-quiet type, the babbling type, the gives-lessons type?
There are things you might want your characters to say, but you MUST keep in mind whether the character would say it. I don't care how smart or funny your comeback is, if it sounds out of character in that person's mouth, it's bad writing. Keep it for someone else if it's really that good, don't force it into their mouth.
As to how to make it come out in the dialogue, I'm using a few characters with very specific speech patterns as examples; most people won't be so obvious.
---Naruto is going to use exclamations. He's going to boast, and use words that exaggerate things if they make him look good. If they make him angry, he'll rant and make whatever happened come out as an awful thing. If they make him sad, he'll say as little as possible, because he doesn't share things like that.
Let's say there's a car. And it's orange. Naruto's probably going to be all "Wow! This car is the most AWESOME shade of orange ever! It's so... So... orange!"
---Sasuke is going to use short, curt sentences that go right to the point. He's not going to bother with lots of adjectives, he's never ever going to be poetic. He's going to be sarcastic, even abrasive. He doesn't use honorifics. He's not openly rude unless he's annoyed, but he doesn't go out of his way to be polite either.
"Burn it."
... XD okay no, another one.
"I wouldn't be caught dead in that car."
... Okayyy another try. >___>;;;
"That's the ugliest shade of orange I've ever seen."
... good enough.
---Kakashi is going to drawl a lot if he's not being serious. He'll also tease a bit. He has an annoying tendency to imply things and never say them out loud, and then when people ask him what he thinks, he'll go and say things like "I wonder..." "Well, I'm sure you can figure it out," or even "Hm?", pretending he already forgot what they were talking about as it didn't sound important to him. When he's serious his speech becomes a lot more direct, and then he sounds very professional.
"My, my... That's a cheerful color for a car."
"Yes! Isn't it awesome?"
*headpats* *shakes head* "... Right, Naruto."
"Naruto, no. It's a safety hazard."
"Aww come on, kakashi-sensei!"
"Keep it for the village. We're not going to cross a warring country with that."
---Hinata is going to stutter and hesitate (which can be marked with "..." , "--" and the repetition of some short words -- don't systematically go the route of the s-s-stutter, real stuttering doesn't always sound like that. Besides, if you use the repeat letter every other word, it's going to become unreadable and your readers will want to k-k-k-kill you w-w-w-with a m-m-m-achette. Just saying.)
She's also going to use "softener words" like "don't you think so?" "but perhaps," "I'm not sure," "A little bit," and some "ah," "um," "er," and other sounds that serve to give her some time to think on her answer. She's afraid she's going to say a stupid thing, so she's going to delay her reply to make double-sure she's not saying anything offensive.
"Um. Don't you think this car is... A little... A little, er, orange?"
What she really means is "it's eye-gouging awful", but she's never going to SAY it. She's going to mention the color, and see how the person talking with her reacts to that. If they go "Eww, I know" she'll feel free to agree with them; if they're all "yeah! Isn't it AWESOME?" she'll never mention it again. You can imply that she doesn't agree by mentioning that she gives the person an unconvincing smile, or looks away before answering, or other kinds of body language.
Now guess who says what. :D
"Man, I love that car! It's so kickass!"
"It's hideous."
"Weeell. I wouldn't go that far, but it's certainly eye-catching."
"Ah... Yes. It's very, um, Warm? F-flamboyant?"
"Oh hey, flamboyant! Nice word. Yeah, it's totally that!"
"Flaming, you mean."
"Like you can talk, you asshole! At least it's not purple."
"...Children, children, play nice..."
... Which brings us to 2) Communication and interaction between characters isn't only about line after line of dialogue, but tone of voice, body language, facial expressions and all that stuff.
Most people don't approach each other in perpendicular lines, stop, turn to stand face to face, their back ramrod straight and hands flat against their thighs, and steadily exchange information for five minutes and thirty-seven seconds sharp, after which they go their separate ways.
Yes, even in dialogue, it's important to know where the characters are, and what they look like (if a character pokes them in the ribs to underline a point, will it be spongy or will they hit a rib? If he's taller than them, they'll have to reach up if they want to give a headpat. Things like that.)
Either they're standing at attention as they give a report, frozen in fear, curled up in utter misery -- or they're going to be moving. They're going to touch their hair when they're nervous, tap their finger against their chin or lips as they think, wave to accentuate their point, pace, tap their foot, or even simply breathe more deeply to calm themselves down, or blink a lot. And we need to know that. It makes the scene more alive.
And not only does it make the scene more alive, but it's going to make what they SAY different, too.
Sakura and Naruto are standing before Naruto's new car:
"That's your new car? It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"
"Yeah! It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."
"... Somehow that's not surprising."
"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see! Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?"
"Ew, no thanks."
now with actions!!
"That's your new car?" Sakura asked dubiously. "It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"
Naruto grinned at her, and rolled over the hood to polish a speck of dust with his sleeve. "Yeah!" He admired his handiwork all of two seconds, and then bounced over to the back, trailing a hand along the side. "It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."
Sakura made a face as he all but twirled his way back to her side. "... Somehow that's not surprising."
"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see! Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?" He waved his arms excitedly, almost hitting her in the face.
"Naruto! Be careful, damn it!" she roared, delivering a downward punch to the top of his skull.
---------
"That's your new car?" Sakura asked dubiously. "It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"
Naruto beamed at her, patting the hood proudly. "Yeah! It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."
She sighed. "... Somehow that's not surprising."
"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see!" Naruto chuckled good-naturedly, and then scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed. "Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?"
Sakura hesitated, but he looked so earnest and hopeful...
"... Fine," she capitulated. "But just this once, and if you drive too badly I swear I'll kick you out from behind the wheel and go sell it for parts."
See? Sakura reacted to his body language and attitude as well as his words, and so we get a totally different outcome.
Careful not to fall into the reverse trap, which is to add actions to EVERYTHING. As a result it feels like the characters are in perpetual motion and are having facial cramps, and then the reader is so busy trying to remember who is doing what and where, and where they are compared to each other, that the dialogue ends up forgotten. The action and body language must give accents to the dialogue, not burrow it, so just mention a tic or action if it's meaningful (gives a hint as to the character's real feelings) or it's going to impact the scene later (like Kakashi going "yes, yes" while walking toward the driver's seat -- a few lines later he'll steal the keys.)
And when you have a very important sentence that's delivered very simply, sometimes it's best to not even say "he stood there and said plainly." You just post the sentence, so it will stand out.
And mein gott this is long. I'll just end it on a personal trick of mine that you might not want to replicate because it makes my mother think I'm crazy...
I play my dialogue scenes. As in, I say it out loud, playing the role of the character. It helps me discover if it needs exclamation points, trailing off, pauses or hesitations, if it needs a "he mused" or "he snapped" or "she laughed humorlessly". If it's a line that can be said while sitting, or if the character needs to be jumping on his feet and proclaiming it.
It also helps me to make it sound natural... because as cool and witty as some sentences sound, it's just Not Possible to actually snap them naturally out loud. You trip on your tongue, you stammer, you forget the beginning of the sentence before arriving at the end it's so f** long, and then you feel like the fic isn't about two people having a real discussion, it's about the author sounding like they never had a real chat with anyone in their life.
Imagine you have two characters who were best of friends, but then something comes to light and they're absolutely furious at each other. They're having the row to end all rows; they're burning bridges right there.
The more natural comeback isn't "And I believe that you are a rat-faced little twerp, and it's clearly obvious now that you have always been jealous of my natural talent. I can't believe I let you ride my coattails for so long without giving you the boot. Now begone!"
It's "Yeah, well, fuck you."
For one thing, even if they could think up the whole line in one go when they're that angry, the other guy is certainly not going to let them babble so long without interrupting them at the slightest breathing pause. Even if the exact sentences come to the character's mind, they won't be delivered that way.
"Oh my god, you're jealous, aren't you? You're totally jealous."
"How self-centered do you have to be to think I'm jealous of YOU?!"
"You're a rat-faced little twerp! I can't believe --"
"And you're a haughty bitch, is what you are!"
"--Can't believe I let you ride my coattails so long!"
"...Oh, I'll give you coattails, you little..."
"Get out! Get the hell out!"
The ideas the characters are trying to convey will probably come in short bursts, not in one long monologue. So unless your characters are known, one for his impeccable, witty delivery, the other for his doormat-ness or inability to punch people in the face or storm out, please abstain from "pwning" a character by giving the other guy some ten lines of Nothing But The Truth, Honey, which he takes, standing there like a moron. It's just bad writing.
... And. Uh. yeah.
I think I'll let myself out now. >_>;;;;;;;;;;
It ended up more like 200€. I really should learn how to keep my mouth from running off without me. >_>;
First, about "he said, she yelled"... Try not to use "he said" every line. It's not forbidden, but try using words that give an idea of how it sounds, what kind of emotion is in it. "He whispered," "she growled," "he snapped," "she muttered, resentful," "he repeated mockingly."
Or you can put it before the dialogue, to vary the sentence structures a little.
Sasuke huffed and crossed his arms, annoyed. "I can't believe you're doing that."
Then you go to the next line -- just remember, for every change of speaker, you MUST open a new paragraph.
If the character isn't using any special kind of tone, just don't add anything, before or after. It's not necessary to add a descriptor or a modifier every line, as long as you use something from time to time to remind us who's talking. It lets what is being said stand out and sometimes that's good too.
1) Know how your characters speak. What sort of vocabulary do they have, extended, poor, sophisticated? How polite are they? How dynamic do they sound? (never ever use more than two exclamation points together, by the way. Ever. Published writers very rarely use more than one.) Are they the shy-quiet type, the antisocial-quiet type, the babbling type, the gives-lessons type?
There are things you might want your characters to say, but you MUST keep in mind whether the character would say it. I don't care how smart or funny your comeback is, if it sounds out of character in that person's mouth, it's bad writing. Keep it for someone else if it's really that good, don't force it into their mouth.
As to how to make it come out in the dialogue, I'm using a few characters with very specific speech patterns as examples; most people won't be so obvious.
---Naruto is going to use exclamations. He's going to boast, and use words that exaggerate things if they make him look good. If they make him angry, he'll rant and make whatever happened come out as an awful thing. If they make him sad, he'll say as little as possible, because he doesn't share things like that.
Let's say there's a car. And it's orange. Naruto's probably going to be all "Wow! This car is the most AWESOME shade of orange ever! It's so... So... orange!"
---Sasuke is going to use short, curt sentences that go right to the point. He's not going to bother with lots of adjectives, he's never ever going to be poetic. He's going to be sarcastic, even abrasive. He doesn't use honorifics. He's not openly rude unless he's annoyed, but he doesn't go out of his way to be polite either.
"Burn it."
... XD okay no, another one.
"I wouldn't be caught dead in that car."
... Okayyy another try. >___>;;;
"That's the ugliest shade of orange I've ever seen."
... good enough.
---Kakashi is going to drawl a lot if he's not being serious. He'll also tease a bit. He has an annoying tendency to imply things and never say them out loud, and then when people ask him what he thinks, he'll go and say things like "I wonder..." "Well, I'm sure you can figure it out," or even "Hm?", pretending he already forgot what they were talking about as it didn't sound important to him. When he's serious his speech becomes a lot more direct, and then he sounds very professional.
"My, my... That's a cheerful color for a car."
"Yes! Isn't it awesome?"
*headpats* *shakes head* "... Right, Naruto."
"Naruto, no. It's a safety hazard."
"Aww come on, kakashi-sensei!"
"Keep it for the village. We're not going to cross a warring country with that."
---Hinata is going to stutter and hesitate (which can be marked with "..." , "--" and the repetition of some short words -- don't systematically go the route of the s-s-stutter, real stuttering doesn't always sound like that. Besides, if you use the repeat letter every other word, it's going to become unreadable and your readers will want to k-k-k-kill you w-w-w-with a m-m-m-achette. Just saying.)
She's also going to use "softener words" like "don't you think so?" "but perhaps," "I'm not sure," "A little bit," and some "ah," "um," "er," and other sounds that serve to give her some time to think on her answer. She's afraid she's going to say a stupid thing, so she's going to delay her reply to make double-sure she's not saying anything offensive.
"Um. Don't you think this car is... A little... A little, er, orange?"
What she really means is "it's eye-gouging awful", but she's never going to SAY it. She's going to mention the color, and see how the person talking with her reacts to that. If they go "Eww, I know" she'll feel free to agree with them; if they're all "yeah! Isn't it AWESOME?" she'll never mention it again. You can imply that she doesn't agree by mentioning that she gives the person an unconvincing smile, or looks away before answering, or other kinds of body language.
Now guess who says what. :D
"Man, I love that car! It's so kickass!"
"It's hideous."
"Weeell. I wouldn't go that far, but it's certainly eye-catching."
"Ah... Yes. It's very, um, Warm? F-flamboyant?"
"Oh hey, flamboyant! Nice word. Yeah, it's totally that!"
"Flaming, you mean."
"Like you can talk, you asshole! At least it's not purple."
"...Children, children, play nice..."
... Which brings us to 2) Communication and interaction between characters isn't only about line after line of dialogue, but tone of voice, body language, facial expressions and all that stuff.
Most people don't approach each other in perpendicular lines, stop, turn to stand face to face, their back ramrod straight and hands flat against their thighs, and steadily exchange information for five minutes and thirty-seven seconds sharp, after which they go their separate ways.
Yes, even in dialogue, it's important to know where the characters are, and what they look like (if a character pokes them in the ribs to underline a point, will it be spongy or will they hit a rib? If he's taller than them, they'll have to reach up if they want to give a headpat. Things like that.)
Either they're standing at attention as they give a report, frozen in fear, curled up in utter misery -- or they're going to be moving. They're going to touch their hair when they're nervous, tap their finger against their chin or lips as they think, wave to accentuate their point, pace, tap their foot, or even simply breathe more deeply to calm themselves down, or blink a lot. And we need to know that. It makes the scene more alive.
And not only does it make the scene more alive, but it's going to make what they SAY different, too.
Sakura and Naruto are standing before Naruto's new car:
"That's your new car? It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"
"Yeah! It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."
"... Somehow that's not surprising."
"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see! Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?"
"Ew, no thanks."
now with actions!!
"That's your new car?" Sakura asked dubiously. "It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"
Naruto grinned at her, and rolled over the hood to polish a speck of dust with his sleeve. "Yeah!" He admired his handiwork all of two seconds, and then bounced over to the back, trailing a hand along the side. "It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."
Sakura made a face as he all but twirled his way back to her side. "... Somehow that's not surprising."
"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see! Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?" He waved his arms excitedly, almost hitting her in the face.
"Naruto! Be careful, damn it!" she roared, delivering a downward punch to the top of his skull.
---------
"That's your new car?" Sakura asked dubiously. "It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"
Naruto beamed at her, patting the hood proudly. "Yeah! It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."
She sighed. "... Somehow that's not surprising."
"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see!" Naruto chuckled good-naturedly, and then scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed. "Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?"
Sakura hesitated, but he looked so earnest and hopeful...
"... Fine," she capitulated. "But just this once, and if you drive too badly I swear I'll kick you out from behind the wheel and go sell it for parts."
See? Sakura reacted to his body language and attitude as well as his words, and so we get a totally different outcome.
Careful not to fall into the reverse trap, which is to add actions to EVERYTHING. As a result it feels like the characters are in perpetual motion and are having facial cramps, and then the reader is so busy trying to remember who is doing what and where, and where they are compared to each other, that the dialogue ends up forgotten. The action and body language must give accents to the dialogue, not burrow it, so just mention a tic or action if it's meaningful (gives a hint as to the character's real feelings) or it's going to impact the scene later (like Kakashi going "yes, yes" while walking toward the driver's seat -- a few lines later he'll steal the keys.)
And when you have a very important sentence that's delivered very simply, sometimes it's best to not even say "he stood there and said plainly." You just post the sentence, so it will stand out.
And mein gott this is long. I'll just end it on a personal trick of mine that you might not want to replicate because it makes my mother think I'm crazy...
I play my dialogue scenes. As in, I say it out loud, playing the role of the character. It helps me discover if it needs exclamation points, trailing off, pauses or hesitations, if it needs a "he mused" or "he snapped" or "she laughed humorlessly". If it's a line that can be said while sitting, or if the character needs to be jumping on his feet and proclaiming it.
It also helps me to make it sound natural... because as cool and witty as some sentences sound, it's just Not Possible to actually snap them naturally out loud. You trip on your tongue, you stammer, you forget the beginning of the sentence before arriving at the end it's so f** long, and then you feel like the fic isn't about two people having a real discussion, it's about the author sounding like they never had a real chat with anyone in their life.
Imagine you have two characters who were best of friends, but then something comes to light and they're absolutely furious at each other. They're having the row to end all rows; they're burning bridges right there.
The more natural comeback isn't "And I believe that you are a rat-faced little twerp, and it's clearly obvious now that you have always been jealous of my natural talent. I can't believe I let you ride my coattails for so long without giving you the boot. Now begone!"
It's "Yeah, well, fuck you."
For one thing, even if they could think up the whole line in one go when they're that angry, the other guy is certainly not going to let them babble so long without interrupting them at the slightest breathing pause. Even if the exact sentences come to the character's mind, they won't be delivered that way.
"Oh my god, you're jealous, aren't you? You're totally jealous."
"How self-centered do you have to be to think I'm jealous of YOU?!"
"You're a rat-faced little twerp! I can't believe --"
"And you're a haughty bitch, is what you are!"
"--Can't believe I let you ride my coattails so long!"
"...Oh, I'll give you coattails, you little..."
"Get out! Get the hell out!"
The ideas the characters are trying to convey will probably come in short bursts, not in one long monologue. So unless your characters are known, one for his impeccable, witty delivery, the other for his doormat-ness or inability to punch people in the face or storm out, please abstain from "pwning" a character by giving the other guy some ten lines of Nothing But The Truth, Honey, which he takes, standing there like a moron. It's just bad writing.
... And. Uh. yeah.
I think I'll let myself out now. >_>;;;;;;;;;;
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I just like to hear myself rant, there are a lot of posts online who explain that more clearly. Mine are full of "hey that sentence sounds pretty neat" and that confuses the message quite a bit. XD;;;;;;
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Pretty damn awesome, and I agree on every account. Another trip up of new writers I've seen is also in the actions. They don't understand how to describe from a certain point of view. Like, if the point of view is from a guy with a bad attitude and he's describing a room, and he sees a glass on the table, he's not going to say that glass is half-full, he'll call it half-empty.
And sometimes people also forget that not everyone speaks perfect and complete sentences like proper ladies and gentlemen. It's so funny to see a deep southern USA boy with little edjucation say, "I quite like these scones."
Do you mind if I bookmark this and show it to some of my students? I take on writing students from the internet every now and then. I really admire your writing and think this is a good example I can show them. Y'know, teach has to have materials, eh? You say everything so eloquently, lol. XD
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I might not have insisted enough on the "use them if they're meaningful, if not, don't feel that you HAVE to use anything" part with the "he declared" "she yelled" blahblah. >_>;;;;;
♥
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Even if you didn't, I will. Have to do some of the work myself. ;D
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It gets confusing, in reading, to tell the difference between accents and regional speech patterns. And the whole writing accents in the first place, or describing the character as having one is a real problem I've seen in writing. Over-doing it to the point the reader has to read it aloud to understand, under-doing it if it is a core part of the character...I'll stop rambling now.
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It's "Yeah, well, fuck you."//
ROFL. I'm sorry, I so pictured Shisui with young!Itachi there.
Loved this. Though I disagree about dialogue tags. IMO "He said" and "she said" become invisible monikers the mind notes but skips over, whereas "he interrupted" and "she capitulated" calls attention to the writing, breaking the flow and bringing the reader out of the moment. I think a few sprinkled in here and there aren't that bad, but I'd say be careful with too many.
Otherwise ... this was awesome. *nice guy pose*
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XD yeah, I wrote that from the starting point of someone who didn't know how to use them at all and overused "said". Should add that overusing other tags isn't too good either. ... I thought I did, but maybe that was in comments somewhere. x_x
"he said" might become invisible after a while, though using only it will make the writing kinda bland, but unless it's used to introduce either the name of the person who talks or some other element, it's also pretty useless, so why not cut it out. "He said" thingies arent ncessary. :p
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XD
This kind of stuff only makes me wonder if you should become a writing teacher of some sort. I can almost picture you grading my work... At least it would be constructive criticism. XP
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Oh hell no, after a while I lose patience and get snippy. I'd be a horrible teacher. .___.;
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.
.
.
.
okay, anymore staring at your icon and I'll be dazed for 42 hours.
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Might I add one more thing about exclamation points? I've got a teacher who says to limit yourself to three a year. I don't watch the number nearly that closely, and with a character like Naruto it'd be all but impossible, but it's a good rule of thumb to keep in mind. Exclamation points are even easier to overuse than commas.
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(Of course, that's always the time when my brothers need to borrow something or mom comes to tell me it's time to eat. >_>;;; )
"I, uh. I'm practicing for a play. Yeah, the theather kind. Yeah. ... Shut up."
Three a year seems way too little to me, but she's got the right idea; the more you use it and the less it means anything. XD;;;
Awesome tips
(Anonymous) 2007-07-15 02:31 am (UTC)(link)PS, love your stuff!
Re: Awesome tips
Thank you! ^__^
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You've obviously never had a class with my writing prof. He believes that everything should be "he said, she said". Of course, that's one of the reasons I hate the class.
But anyway, awesome tips. I'm a firm believer in acting out scenes. I do it all the time. Luckily I have a lock on my door, so no one can come in and surprise me.
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(Anonymous) 2007-07-15 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)Well...he's not entirely wrong. Most writing professors and published writers will say that.
There are three kinds of dialogue tags: invisible, soft, and hard. An invisible tag means you don't write any sort of "he said/she said" at all, and ideally speaking, this is the tag you should use most when writing dialogue. The next best thing is to use soft tags, which includes "said", "replied", "asked", and such. It is not a bad thing to use "said". With repetition, you don't even notice it. I'm serious. Pick up any published (and well-written) novel and you'll see that most of the dialogue tags are "he said/she said"; I, personally, am looking at Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett right now (these men are geniuses at witty, tongue-in-cheek dialogue). Readers don't notice overmuch; we're more focused on the dialogue. Not that Asuka isn't correct--it's a good idea to convey emotion and substitute actions for tags when you can. Hard tags, which indicate how a line is to be delivered, such as "growled", "cried", etc, should be used sparingly. They stick out like a sore thumb and when you overuse them...then it just becomes hilarious. And not in the good way. :P
So, in conclusion:
-Invisible tags=best
-Soft tags (including "said"!)=next best thing
-No need to break out the thesaurus in order to avoid using "said", but do feel free to change things up, as Asuka pointed out much more eloquently than I. ^^;;
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♥♥♥♥♥♥
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(Anonymous) 2007-07-17 04:08 am (UTC)(link)no subject
Of course, it's also the number one reason I'm slow at writing stuff, because if I want a conversation to go one way and while acting it out I discover that the characters want it to go another way entirely, I'm pretty much screwed. XDDThis was an awesome post; I'm definitely keeping this saved for future reference.
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Thanks ^^ Read the comments! a few people explained the "he exclaimed, he said" tags a lot better than I did. My advice wasn't that good on that point. >_>;;;
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Talking about kickass cars. Orange ones, made my brain go, Orange, is close to yellow, or gold, HE'S described as being GoldenYellow
and...
YOU JUST GAVE ME AN IMAGE OF NARUTO WITH BUMBLEBEE! <_<()
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I have to say that this is really useful. I'd love to refrence it to so many people if I could. I just have this huge problem with fics and their stiff dialogue. "Emotions, character traits, begone! Tongue twisters, random comebacks and laughter, come forth!" and all that, it just bothers me, I suppose.
Then again, I'm not really one to talk, as I, myself tend to abuse my poor commas, and have a completely bizzare type of speech that I tend to unconciously force on the characters. Most of the time my sister or my friends catch it, but other times I think they just get too used to listening to me and just overlook my stupid self-wording (or whatever it's called).
But, again, thank you for this. It'll most definitely come in handy.
-VS
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"AAARGH LEARN TO KNOCK WHO SAYS I WASNT CHANGING RIGHT NOW DDDD:" works okay on my dad, though he always tends to forget after a few weeks. Hn.
ehh, we all have our bad writing habits. u__u;;;; Nowadays i'm in love with semicolons. One time I caught myself writing a sentence with *five* of the little buggers. x_x;
random lurker speaks
There's also a couple tricks people with stutters use to avoid stuttering. One of these is restructuring the sentence. I, personally, rarely ever say "Did you do that yet?" Instead, I ask, "Have you done that yet?" The word 'did' is the bane of my existence, ugh. Once I get the momentum of the sentence going, I can avoid stuttering on the D in done. Also, if people let me take a breath first, my words come out clean.
/rant
I'd feel badly about babbling on ad nauseum, but you did it yourself, so I'm just returning the favor. :D
Re: random lurker speaks
I had a friend who stuttered in high school and it got pretty bad. He did the d-d-d-id thing AND the having to repeat a small word several times before being able to get past it (did - did - did you...?) AND the hesitating several seconds because he knew if he tried to say the word right away his voice would just stall like a dying motor. It was pretty painful to watch him speak, you just knew he was dying from shame every time he opened his mouth, but he tried anyway. Poor guy. ~___~;;;
>.> though I saw him again a few months ago and while he does slow down a bit on some words, I didn't hear him stammer once, so yay.
Hinata comes off as someone who repeats words and hesitates a lot, not so much as someone who has problems with specific sounds... But i'd need to listen to her japanese voice again. >.>
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(Anonymous) 2007-07-16 06:14 am (UTC)(link)Today I was in you tube and I came across a Sasu Naru video I hope you can see it is really prety
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7QTId0BhLQ
SasuNaru The Kill (thats the title in case the adress is wrong)
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The only thing is that I believe you meant to say not to "bury" dialogue with action, rather than not to "burrow" it.
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I mean, this is just... exactly the sort of thing I need. I'm mostly self taught, so any information I find is few and far between, so this is just great. Especially because I happen to have an especially hard time with any dialogue. It's just so awkward for me. Possibly because when I speak off-line I sound like a mental patient [stuttering, forgetting I even started a sentence and stopping half way, or just generally creating my own mish-mash of words to create a new word. HOW FUN.]. And so, it transfers to my writing.
What I get for holing myself up in my room for the past... year or so.
Go me. 8D
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I'm overwhelmed by the amazing amount of helpful tips in this *taking notes*
I don't write, but I do draw manga (casually, informally
in school notebooks). Some of the stuff doesn't apply to me in terms of adding actions with dialogue (though the actions themselves do apply)Everything on characters voices, is so well-written and very helpful
and it makes me want to re-script everything.lskjfsldjfasldfj I don't know how to express my appreciation properly, just that this is amazing and I'm definitely meming!
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I will tell you, the way you described the writing process (read: yours) reminds me of how an artist works. Going from sketchy to polished. And there are a lot of helpful things in here concerning fanfiction and even original works. It was helpful for me and made me rethink how I'm writing.
Though, my main problem is finding inspiration to write. And draw... but that has nothing to do with this. XD