askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (T7_Sasu And miles to go before I sleep)
askerian ([personal profile] askerian) wrote2007-02-18 05:56 pm

teamwork progress babblething

Slowly chipping away at the block on Teamwork. It's amazing how adding a couple of Kyuubi!words into a scene can change the mood right back to where it should be. Now I'm pulling out the next moment. It's coming slowly, and will need a lot of rewriting, but. SOMETHING NEW OMG. *pokes at cautiously* o.o

Recently I've been wondering if I should give the original Teamwork a little facelift. Stuff might need to be reworded, lenghtened, actions better described... Also I need to fix what I did to Anko because it bugs me. I was supposed to present her side of the story in some way to show that she had a reason to be angry and contemptuous, and the boys were being kinda self-righteous with their "zomg she's a total bitch she deserves it lol let us forget all about this" but there was just no space for it. Also I should probably make the Kyuubi/Naruto shift harder. Also make sure the background I developed since the time I wrote the first fic doesn't clash, strengthen the hints about what happened at the Valley of the End maybe... I dunno. Suggestions?

(I forget if I added references to this kind of heat-thing not being the first time it happened to Naruto, and perhaps I should get off my ass and find a somewhat better reason for it because well, strictly speaking males don't go into heat so I should probably bullshit a bit. Perhaps about Kyuubi being a shapeshifter so hey, female, male, whatever -- hnn, not sure I like this one. Hrrm. I'm sure there's a justification, or even just some better way to explain what happened. Maybe just don't even mention the word "heat". Kyuubi is a kitsune! Desire is one of his gifts, even if it's one he never had much uses for in his previous life. ... ohh. oh yeeah. this one works better.)

Or perhaps I should just work faster with my OC-centric sidefics. XD;; *pets the poor, poor ninjas supposed to watch Naruto* Might even be able to stick the Anko issue in the last one... *___*

[identity profile] meanne77.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Heu, j'aip as compris le problème avec le "heat thing". Les mâles entrent en rut ; je sais pas si y'a un mot spécifique en anglais ou si c'est "heat" aussi mais dans tous les cas ça revient au même...
Bon, c'est sûr que ça se produit pas n'importe quand mais en même temps, Kyuubi n'est pas un renard tout à fait normal non plus, alors...

[identity profile] meanne77.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Hum... pourtant, mon chat (avant d'être castré) avait des périodes de rut, même sans femmelle à proximité... En même temps, c'était peut-être simplement parce qu'il arrivait à maturité sexuelle, mais les mâles ont tendance à se battre entre eux pour affirmer leur dominance, ça entre dans le rut et ce n'est pas forcément lié à une femmelle à fécondé (même si ça joue bcp dans la sélection pour l'accouplement lorsqu'une femmelle est prête...)

Mais même castré, mon chat garde des "instincts" de rut, il copule de temps à autres avec une peluche :D Même s'il le fait *bcp* moins fréquemment qu'avant son opération, il monte son lapin facilement une à deux fois par mois... et presque tous les jours il fait qch pour me "défier" et tester ma "dominance". Il joue... à moitié *file un petit coup sur le museau* Je t'ai dit d'arrêter de me mordre, sale bête ! è_é

Mais je comprends que ça t'énerve, lol. Faudrait voir si un environnement très masculin peut déclencher des comportements particuliers chez les renards...

[identity profile] meanne77.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Je suis aussi tombée sur le coup de la monogamie incertaine... :D

[identity profile] meanne77.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
mais pourquoi est-ce que je mets deux m à femelle, moi ?? *secoue la tête*
ext_11844: (Default)

[identity profile] amarin-rose.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Male animals don't go into heat, but male humans are pretty much always fertile, so... with Kyuubi/Naruto, it gets mixed together?
tephra: Photo portrait of a doll with shaggy, dark orange and copper hair, wearing a pink slouchy hat and sky blue glasses. (Default)

[personal profile] tephra 2007-02-18 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I suppose you could take the view that male animals respond to the scent of fertile females and, well, Sakura was fertile right then wasn't she? :)

(Anonymous) 2007-02-18 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe she is and maybe she isn't? As a ninja, you'd assume she has low body fat, and that tends to throw off fertility.

[identity profile] viper-s.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, maybe it does happen every month, but the exception is that this time Naruto was with her well into the night, and not just during the day, and drunk.

Okay, lets say that Naruto gets seriously turned on by Sakura every month, he knows, basically, what'll happen, but he doesn't want to rape his teammate or something, so he does his damn best to avoid her (as much as he can) and control the desire 'til he gets home and starts wackin' off.

This time, though, Naruto was with Sakura for the entire day, went out and got drunk with her (I'm leaving Sasuke out right now because really, if we go with this theory, he was just a victim of chance... That didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but you know what I mean). By this point his control is wavering, I mean, he's stinking drunk and most likely he's been holding it in all day.

They all go back to Naruto's place and he just can't hold it in any longer. Sasuke and Sakura get caught up in the love and the booze and just go with it.

Does that help any? Or just fuck you up even more?
tephra: Photo portrait of a doll with shaggy, dark orange and copper hair, wearing a pink slouchy hat and sky blue glasses. (Default)

[personal profile] tephra 2007-02-18 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
*thinkthinkthink* Well they just got back from a mission, right? I don't recall you stating what sort of mission but maybe Kyuubi was closer to the surface because of it. That, in combination of the post mission relaxed and happy mood and the scent?

And Sakura is what, just 17 in Teamwork? Assuming that a ninja and a gymnast are at about the same level of physical fitness she probably has only been menstruating for about three years. (Age of menarche in olympic gymnasts is about 13.66 years according to my quick google. Another quick google suggests that 61% of them also have irregular menstrual cycles.)

It would be a bit of a stretch but it would be plausible to have all the right conditions to only match up once.
tephra: Photo portrait of a doll with shaggy, dark orange and copper hair, wearing a pink slouchy hat and sky blue glasses. (Default)

[personal profile] tephra 2007-02-19 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
I think you are stuck with "kitsune are horny bastards" then.

[identity profile] ithilgwath.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 08:19 am (UTC)(link)
a possiblity in this vein... with ninja living the lifestyle they lead, it probably would be standard operating procedure to equip all the female ninja with means of birth-control. Considering the possibilities of capture, this would have to be a lot more effective than something used at the moment (condoms, etc.) or even daily (low-estrogen birth-control pills/patch).

ninja probably would have something like the shots you can get from the doctor that will cause you to ovulate and subsequently menstruate only 2-4 times a year. If that were the case, it isn't unlikely that Naruto might miss being around Sakura when she's in oestrus.

And with Naruto, it's more than JUST kyuubi's influence. He's still human, and not just responding helplessly to the stimuli presented to him... it's the combination of animal hyper-sensitivity, lust, and Naruto's genuine love for his teammates that might push him over the edge of reason, letting the animalistic chakra out. Sakura and Sasuke are ninja trained to be sensitive to the presence, change, and flux of chakra. It's probable that they might have responded to the heavy charge of sex, which in turn would ratchet up Kyuubi's output, turning Naruto on more, which would release more chakra, which would have Sakura and Sasuke more responsive, etc.

Basically... the 3 of them in a closed space with the right catalyst would create a feedback loop of emotion, lust, and chakra that only was disrupted upon climax (that much chakra building up and releasing might explain how all those other ninja knew exactly when it happened).

I'm sorry if I'm rambling here, but it's late at night and I tend to do that even when I am not tired... ^^;
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[personal profile] soc_puppet 2007-02-18 07:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I forget if I added references to this kind of heat-thing not being the first time it happened to Naruto

I'm pretty sure you did make a reference to it at least once; that is, I think I remember Kyuubi remarking how, on nights when that happened before, Naruto would end up chafing his dick from whacking off, so. If that helps any.
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[personal profile] soc_puppet 2007-02-18 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it was Teamwork proper, in the tree. Definitely Naruto's chapter, since it had him and the fox conversing.
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[personal profile] soc_puppet 2007-02-18 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
*salutes* Happy to help ^_^

XD I know exactly how you feel. Why can I remember really weird details from other people's fics and not my own?


Mrf. Dunno how to help you there. Break a leg, I guess.

[identity profile] kill-kirin.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Complètement hors sujet mais j'ai paumé ton adresse mail ... Alors ... Merciiiiiiiiiiii !!! Mercimercimercimercimerciiiiiiiiii !! ^^
Comme tu peux le constater j'ai bien eu ton cadeau . Je n'en suis qu'au quart du bouquin mais ... j'aime . Fufufu Pour une fois qu'on a un récit de l'autre côté de la barrière, c'est pas dommage . *méga-câlin*

[identity profile] kill-kirin.livejournal.com 2007-02-18 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Fufufu .
Je n'en ai lu que le quart mais j'ai déjà regardé la fin (j'aime bien savoir comment ça termnie) . Elle a un petit goût d'inachevé qui laisse espérer une suite (quoique, j'en doute fortement) .
J'avais en effet déjà vu le dit bouquin mais je ne m'étais jamais résolue à l'acheter, tu comprends, les protagonistes n'étant pas minotaures .
Encore merci . ^^

[identity profile] bootoye.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
I'll help you a bit here^^ though males do not go into heat they can go into rut and some species know by the season that it is time to track down a female and some action. So I think you can make it work without calling it a heat as such.

Maybe its a demonic-biological clock male thing!!! *I can help with the bullshit*

[identity profile] ryouseiteki.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
Don't have a lot of time today so I'll just say this:
Female=heat
Male=rut

<3's?

[identity profile] book-people.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
*think think* Mmmm... I think the "kitsune can incite desire" thing has the best chance of working.

Okay. Fact: Sakura was ovulating. Fact: Kyuubi knows he's being slowly absorbed and wants to leave something behind (aka kits). Fact: Naruto pays a lot of attention to Sakura. Fact: While carnivores do not normally go into rut, female carnivores do give off an indication that they are ovulating: scent. Granted, Sakura is human and it doesn't necessarily work that way with us, but you still might be able to fudge a kind of hormone emission thing that Kyuubi (through Naruto) picks up on. So, when Kyuubi realizes that Sakura is currently able to conceive and that Naruto is inebriated enough to lower his inhibitions considerably, he turns on the charm, so to speak. Sasuke, who is in the blast range, as inebriated as Naruto and who, as I believe you said once, has a crush on Naruto the size of the moon (whether or not he has admitted it to himself), is kind of swept along for the ride, and BAM! We have The Night.

Probably something you already considered, but seems more plausible than the whole male-in-heat thing to me... XD?

Adi

[identity profile] book-people.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
O.O Whee! *loves on you* Now I really want to know what Kyuubi's up to. He seemed to know something the others didn't, and if Naruto's chilling by his cage...

Heehee, you included the Pink Bubbles of Demonic Doom (dubbed such curtesy of Shippuuden).
...So I may be a little tired. <_< *dances with you* ^_^ Hurrah for the defeat of writer's block! Another day, another battle won in the endless war that is fic writing. XD Adi

(Anonymous) 2007-02-19 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)
According to what I've read, kitsune are often credited with the ability to influence human emotions and judgement, in addition to their talents with illusion and shapeshifting. This can range from simply making themselves seem particularly charming and likable to causing almost hypnotic effects, and in some cases, they can supposedly even induce insanity in the target. It's part of why they're so good at seduction. So if Kyuubi is horny, bored, and closer than usual to the surface of Naruto's mind...

Of course, the hole in this idea is the fact that Kyuubi didn't use traditional kitsune powers in his attack on Konoha. Most kitsune are manipulators and tricksters, not the type to smash and burn everything in sight. Of course, Kyuubi could be an eccentric, or just have been in a really bad mood that day...

(Great. Now I have a plunnie for a Naruto AU in which Kyuubi's attack on Konoha is more in line with traditional kitsune lore: Powerful, elaborate genjutsu, lots of fatal pranks and tricks, mass insanity, people seducing and being seduced left and right, etc., etc. The problem is, I can't write worth beans.)

(Anonymous) 2007-02-19 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Actually, as I recall, being nogitsune doesn't change a kitsune's inherent trickster nature. It just means that they're more inclined to harm rather than help humans. By all accounts, nogitsune are just as manipulative, subtle, and mischievous as any other kitsune. Apart from that, though, the idea that he was more interested in doing damage than playing tricks does make sense.

Alas, for it is shiny that may never see the light of day. There should really be a community for people to give away plotbunnies that they can't write themselves. If you weren't already working on so many stories of your own, I'd ask if you were interested in adopting this one. I don't suppose you know of such a community?

(Anonymous) 2007-02-19 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, I see. I thought that you were saying that nogitsune were somehow less subtle and more mindlessly destructive than other kitsune, rather than that Kyuubi was just exceptionally focused on doing harm even for a nogitsune.

Curses. I did a search myself, using the interests listed on those communities' userinfo, but all of the communities I found were just as inactive as the first two. Thanks anyway.

[identity profile] complexphoenix.livejournal.com 2007-03-01 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
One problem I have with Teamwork currently is that the risk of the sealing doesn't feel sufficiently justified. I think you should make Sakura's need for the chakra more clear, make it apparent that Tsunade's training regimen is insufficient- have her start feeling ill, or have Sasuke see with his Sharingan just how bad the drain on her is, or both? It would make their resorting to such an extreme measure much more believable. As it is right now, she seems ok, and the sealing is a big risk. If there's a possibility she could pull through without it, it doesn't make sense for them to take that risk.