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Teamwork 3, chapter 7, tidbit 1
1) The Grass Country OCs are Maneki: huge tank-like medic-nin, rather patient, summons cats. Kon : fox summoner, brown skin and pale green hair, bit of an asshole, injured. Zenko: girl, wolf summoner, katana specialist, long black hair, suspicious and antisocial.
2) I don't know if Sasuke's reasoning makes sense at the end, or if it comes across as if he takes that decision because I wub my OCs and I'm forcing him to respect that. Might need more description... maybe more blood flowing to prompt him, or something. But I can't manage to figure it out on my own, so I'm posting it with the hope that you guys will tell me if it's problematic and perhaps suggest stuff. It's the kind of scene that was perfectly clear and self-evident eight months ago when I thought it up, and that I cannot feel my way through now. ~__~
The old three-tailed fox was sliding in his grasp, fur slick with blood. Sasuke shifted it back up against his chest as he ran; it didn't complain, even though he'd been a little rough. The animal wasn't heavy, mostly made of skin and bones, but tall enough to be awkward to carry.
Sasuke slanted a wary look at the girl with the katana. She was the only one with her arms free; he didn't like that. If the fox hadn't needed all its concentration to keep holding the genjutsu that hid their escape, Sasuke was sure she would have attacked him already. He knew the type.
He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, sharingan cutting through the haze of the kitsune illusion. Still no sign of pursuit. Still no sign of Sakura either. He really hated this.
Fucking Kyuubi.
"Left," he snapped, pointing at a rising cliff-side that would provide a better overview on the ground, and more relief to hide behind. The big healer nodded and veered in silence, his green-haired comrade's head lolling as he bounced up. Trees hid them until they were at the top, and then there were enough holes and bushes to take cover. On the other side of the cliff edge the ground sloped gently toward the rest of the island.
More than a mile away and he could still feel Kyuubi's chakra prickling his skin. Sasuke didn't want to go any farther; having no idea of where Kyuubi was seemed a really stupid idea. He stalked up to the girl, sidestepped the tip of the sword, and pushed the fox in her arms.
She stiffened, forced to juggle the katana and the animal. The fox smothered a little pained grunt.
Sasuke took a step back out of her personal space before she decided to just dump the beast and run him through. The healer was watching, eyebrows furrowed.
"That's far enough," Sasuke said.
He took them in. One exhausted and rather slow-moving medic-nin, one half-dead guy, two summons -- one of them an arthritic thing with a crushed front paw and the other one, the draft-horse-sized wolf, still trembling on the edge of white-eyed panic. It wouldn't be hard to punch the girl unconscious and force their tokens out of them. And then, of course, the healer would have to juggle two KOed teammates as Kyuubi no Youko hunted them down, which made helping them get away in the first place rather pointless.
He was tempted to just turn around and leave. Negotiating would take time he could use to get back to Sakura.
He wished he hadn't let it bother him, when she asked what he'd do if Naruto was the one standing with him on the battlefield instead. He wished he'd stayed.
Of course then Kyuubi would have just trapped him under another tree with admonitions to get some rest already because he wasn't entertaining that furry asshole enough when he was so tired, and the Grass team would be dead and Sakura would have ended up alone in front of him anyway. Sasuke tugged a leaf out of his hair, freeing a clump of dirt. Maybe he still had enough time to extort compensation out of them before he went back to his teammates.
They kept staring at him, the slim girl and the giant, waiting for his demands. Exhausted and beaten and hating every single second of it.
Sasuke's upper lip curled and he turned on his heel to leave.
"Wait," the healer said.
Sasuke frowned. He wasn't forcing their tokens out of them. What the hell more did they want?
The young man was a little pale, now that Sasuke was looking closer. Especially around the lips, bloodless and pinched. No doubt he'd wasted a lot of chakra on his companion. He wasn't really that old, actually -- just large and big-boned. Sixteen maybe, though at first glance you'd have given him at least twenty.
"We won't go far alone."
"Not my problem," Sasuke countered. "You attacked us first, count yourself lucky I even bothered getting you that far."
The healer shifted his teammate's weight on his back; brown-skinned fingers clenched weakly on his shirt as the injured teenager woke halfway.
"...Escort us. I'll pay you."
The girl sneered, and she put the fox down on the mossy ground a little fast to free her arms. "Maneki, stop right here. We will not be indebted to him." She glared at Sasuke, almond eyes narrowed to black slits. "Leave. We didn't ask for your help and we aren't going to."
"Zenko!" the healer protested.
Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and turned away again. From the start he'd done it for Naruto, not for them. This time he stepped over the edge of the plateau without anyone calling him back.
The stranger creeping up on their tracks must have been as startled to see Sasuke as Sasuke was to see him.
Shit. Kicking out, Sasuke caught the guy in the jaw, sending him flying. The guy's yell seemed to serve as a signal, though. Behind him he heard the wolf howling in pain and the sound of kunai whizzing through the air. A couple of them flew past the edge of the plateau to clang harmlessly on the rocks at the bottom.
Ambush. Should have expected it. He didn't wonder where they were coming from; the impact of the landslide must have been felt for miles and there was still dust floating in the air like a flag. No doubt it had made quite a few teams curious.
He should have just left at this point -- with this one stranger down there was a hole in the middle of their flanking maneuver he could have walked right through. He should have left and left the Grass team to manage the rest of them. It wasn't his problem anymore. It really wasn't.
When he pushed his awareness past the constant haze of Kyuubi's presence, he found more enemies than a single team could account for. He gathered chakra to his legs and kicked his way back up.
A glance was enough to take in the situation. The green-haired one on the ground, the old fox crouched over his prone body and snapping with yellowed teeth; his two mobile teammates trying to fend off two enemies each. He counted four of them, plus the fifth he'd kicked -- might have been a sixth somewhere in the area, but he couldn't find him. They all seemed to be from the same village. No doubt they had teamed up.
... Well. Those tokens would be a lot more gratifying to win.
2) I don't know if Sasuke's reasoning makes sense at the end, or if it comes across as if he takes that decision because I wub my OCs and I'm forcing him to respect that. Might need more description... maybe more blood flowing to prompt him, or something. But I can't manage to figure it out on my own, so I'm posting it with the hope that you guys will tell me if it's problematic and perhaps suggest stuff. It's the kind of scene that was perfectly clear and self-evident eight months ago when I thought it up, and that I cannot feel my way through now. ~__~
The old three-tailed fox was sliding in his grasp, fur slick with blood. Sasuke shifted it back up against his chest as he ran; it didn't complain, even though he'd been a little rough. The animal wasn't heavy, mostly made of skin and bones, but tall enough to be awkward to carry.
Sasuke slanted a wary look at the girl with the katana. She was the only one with her arms free; he didn't like that. If the fox hadn't needed all its concentration to keep holding the genjutsu that hid their escape, Sasuke was sure she would have attacked him already. He knew the type.
He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, sharingan cutting through the haze of the kitsune illusion. Still no sign of pursuit. Still no sign of Sakura either. He really hated this.
Fucking Kyuubi.
"Left," he snapped, pointing at a rising cliff-side that would provide a better overview on the ground, and more relief to hide behind. The big healer nodded and veered in silence, his green-haired comrade's head lolling as he bounced up. Trees hid them until they were at the top, and then there were enough holes and bushes to take cover. On the other side of the cliff edge the ground sloped gently toward the rest of the island.
More than a mile away and he could still feel Kyuubi's chakra prickling his skin. Sasuke didn't want to go any farther; having no idea of where Kyuubi was seemed a really stupid idea. He stalked up to the girl, sidestepped the tip of the sword, and pushed the fox in her arms.
She stiffened, forced to juggle the katana and the animal. The fox smothered a little pained grunt.
Sasuke took a step back out of her personal space before she decided to just dump the beast and run him through. The healer was watching, eyebrows furrowed.
"That's far enough," Sasuke said.
He took them in. One exhausted and rather slow-moving medic-nin, one half-dead guy, two summons -- one of them an arthritic thing with a crushed front paw and the other one, the draft-horse-sized wolf, still trembling on the edge of white-eyed panic. It wouldn't be hard to punch the girl unconscious and force their tokens out of them. And then, of course, the healer would have to juggle two KOed teammates as Kyuubi no Youko hunted them down, which made helping them get away in the first place rather pointless.
He was tempted to just turn around and leave. Negotiating would take time he could use to get back to Sakura.
He wished he hadn't let it bother him, when she asked what he'd do if Naruto was the one standing with him on the battlefield instead. He wished he'd stayed.
Of course then Kyuubi would have just trapped him under another tree with admonitions to get some rest already because he wasn't entertaining that furry asshole enough when he was so tired, and the Grass team would be dead and Sakura would have ended up alone in front of him anyway. Sasuke tugged a leaf out of his hair, freeing a clump of dirt. Maybe he still had enough time to extort compensation out of them before he went back to his teammates.
They kept staring at him, the slim girl and the giant, waiting for his demands. Exhausted and beaten and hating every single second of it.
Sasuke's upper lip curled and he turned on his heel to leave.
"Wait," the healer said.
Sasuke frowned. He wasn't forcing their tokens out of them. What the hell more did they want?
The young man was a little pale, now that Sasuke was looking closer. Especially around the lips, bloodless and pinched. No doubt he'd wasted a lot of chakra on his companion. He wasn't really that old, actually -- just large and big-boned. Sixteen maybe, though at first glance you'd have given him at least twenty.
"We won't go far alone."
"Not my problem," Sasuke countered. "You attacked us first, count yourself lucky I even bothered getting you that far."
The healer shifted his teammate's weight on his back; brown-skinned fingers clenched weakly on his shirt as the injured teenager woke halfway.
"...Escort us. I'll pay you."
The girl sneered, and she put the fox down on the mossy ground a little fast to free her arms. "Maneki, stop right here. We will not be indebted to him." She glared at Sasuke, almond eyes narrowed to black slits. "Leave. We didn't ask for your help and we aren't going to."
"Zenko!" the healer protested.
Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and turned away again. From the start he'd done it for Naruto, not for them. This time he stepped over the edge of the plateau without anyone calling him back.
The stranger creeping up on their tracks must have been as startled to see Sasuke as Sasuke was to see him.
Shit. Kicking out, Sasuke caught the guy in the jaw, sending him flying. The guy's yell seemed to serve as a signal, though. Behind him he heard the wolf howling in pain and the sound of kunai whizzing through the air. A couple of them flew past the edge of the plateau to clang harmlessly on the rocks at the bottom.
Ambush. Should have expected it. He didn't wonder where they were coming from; the impact of the landslide must have been felt for miles and there was still dust floating in the air like a flag. No doubt it had made quite a few teams curious.
He should have just left at this point -- with this one stranger down there was a hole in the middle of their flanking maneuver he could have walked right through. He should have left and left the Grass team to manage the rest of them. It wasn't his problem anymore. It really wasn't.
When he pushed his awareness past the constant haze of Kyuubi's presence, he found more enemies than a single team could account for. He gathered chakra to his legs and kicked his way back up.
A glance was enough to take in the situation. The green-haired one on the ground, the old fox crouched over his prone body and snapping with yellowed teeth; his two mobile teammates trying to fend off two enemies each. He counted four of them, plus the fifth he'd kicked -- might have been a sixth somewhere in the area, but he couldn't find him. They all seemed to be from the same village. No doubt they had teamed up.
... Well. Those tokens would be a lot more gratifying to win.
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Thanks for the tidbit! :D
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I like how you did this though. He keeps thinking "this is stupid, I need to get back" and he keeps doing it. Reminds me a lot (I don't know exactly why) of the fight with Haku. "How should I know? My body moved all on its own"
Both times it's for his teammates despite the fact that every logical part of his brain is/was probably saying "Just.. let them die."
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a) Maneki, so Sasuke can copy the technique to wake-up Naruto
b) Kyuubi killing them and Naruto feeling guilty(and wasn't that the entire reason to get grass team away?)
c) so the attackers can't follow Sasuke and possibly kill Sakura/Sasuke while they are trying to subdue Kyuubi
and d) make grass team so clearly indebted to Sasuke he can demand the Fox summon scroll (?) not sure about that one thou
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Also, Sakura wants them to be alive, he'll probably try to respect her feelings. (You might want to include a little bit about how he knows she'll rag him if they die after he leaves?) But he'll still be worried about her, so maybe when he fights the ambushers you can say that he was very aggressive? Then the Grass team is like, O.O whoa, okay we'll be nice to your team for a while, you've got the biggest share of psychos. Then he can rush over to Sakura maybe?
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(Anonymous) 2009-07-18 10:21 am (UTC)(link)Sasuke is a chocolate-coated bastard with bastard filling, but there is a human being underneath all that angst. And this isn't canon-'suke, after all, I tend to think your Sasuke has more in common with Wave-country-mission Sasuke. He's mellowed a bit.
The Grass ninja are annoying (well, Zenko's more prickly than the hedgehog of your choice, anyway), and did attack them first, and Sakura is his objective first and foremost - but not only does he realize his teammates are softies, but I think he's had enough time to see Team Summon as people rather than faceless enemies-to-be-conquered. And have we ever really seen a precedent of pre-timeskip Sasuke just walking away from people who will die without him? This may be new territory for him.
And of course, he needs something to justify all this to himself and still keep his Magnificent Bastard outer persona, and so, tokens.
-- Guile
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the way I see the Sasuke in your fanfic and what he's like in anime/manga I think that yes he runs into/over the ninja and once he's out of the way Mr Tank Healer comes up and he suspects that its a trap with another of Team Summoner's home team. Then the other 5 show up and battle ensues with Sasuke being in the middle. He would want to get back ASAP but being caught in middle would make him stay long enough to beat down one or two of the easier guys (for him) which would give him long enough to see/evaluate what Team Summoners can do rather than be "fiction fodder." After taking down certain enemy guy that is holding the tokens eh can probably snactch one up as payment and get out of there because by that time with 1 or 2 guys down thanks to him and Team Summoner doing their thing he can go without guilty conscience and have a token to show for leaving his team or whichever excuse you can put XD
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(Anonymous) 2009-07-19 02:13 am (UTC)(link)lol, i was wondering what had happened to him during the brief time he was missing
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(Anonymous) 2009-07-20 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)Block all the chakra points on an arm with a lucky hit by the suprised guy?
Seems like it would be an easy fix for someone other than the attack-e, but he would be SERIOUSLY down in maneuverability, and seals would be hard to impossible to get out. And, if a team had to double team someone, it might make sense that it's because they're rookies, and the only way the grass team in any trouble in the first place is because they're outnumbered and have only one person at full strength. Rookie enough to be fucked up and picked off by a genjutsu or a fireball or something.
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Though little cell phone screen made me feel like a real fan. ;p
Yay for tidbits, Asuka! ♥
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Aw man, I like that fox. I hope he'll be okay. ;__; ____ Sasuke: "*grumble*grumble*grumble*grumble*grumble*" ♥ ____ "The stranger creeping up on their tracks must have been as startled to see Sasuke as Sasuke was to see him." Lol, the readers were probably startled too. ^^ ____ "No doubt it had made quite a few teams curious." Yeah. No doubt. (Love the dryness.) ____ Hahaha, Sasuke's thinking about joining in then? =)
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