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Teamwork 3 chpt.6 part.3 -- end of chapter 6
ROARRR. >:E
previous part
Unbetaed. I needed to be sleep-deprived to write this bitch. therefore there are likely quite a few things that need fixing. Don't feel shy, tell me. Can't fix it if I don't know it's broke. Will love you forevers.
Thanks to Saropyon and Jochan and Cally who are supercool and awesomewin and shinyyay.
She'd never held and released so much chakra in one go before, and the timing was perfect. Destruction radiated out around her. It was strangely exhilarating.
Kyuubi jumped back, landed in a deep crouch on unstable terrain, snarled at her as his claws dug in for purchase. Sasuke blurred from sight, dust swirling behind him; Kyuubi's head snapped around to track him. Sakura couldn't allow him to do that; it was her job to cover Sasuke's back. But with the ground already broken, the impact of another punch wouldn't travel far.
Her fingers flitted through the water-hose hand seals; she got Kyuubi right in the face. The jet was a lot less impressive this time around, but it did its job. Kyuubi snarled, loud and irritated; by the time he had shaken waterlogged bangs out of his face, she'd seen Sasuke, Maneki and Zenko fade from view, the green-haired boy thrown across Maneki's huge shoulders with his head lolling limply.
Genjutsu. One she could see from her peripheral vision for a couple of seconds, like a desert mirage, but they were out of range before she could pinpoint it. She had no idea if Kyuubi was any better at genjutsu than she was -- but it felt like he should be; fox-spirits were known for their illusions.
Naruto was abysmal at it; she felt a twinge at the thought of him. At least he wasn't aware of what he was doing. She told herself it was a good thing.
"You little bitch."
Suddenly the air was flooded with killing intent and burning chakra.
Sakura gasped, a hand flying to her belly, allowing him to see exactly how much it hurt. "You'll kill the child," she gasped. "You really will."
For a few seconds it looked like he wouldn't care, red eyes disdainful and angry. Worry crept up her spine, resolve wavering. Then with a wordless snarl he turned his back on her, stiff and frustrated, and suddenly she could breathe again.
The raging chakra was gone, smothered. She'd been right. She'd been right. He cared. The threats, and the implication that if the child was too weak to survive that was fine with him, it was all talk -- well, maybe not all talk, but... She swallowed a lone, giddy, chuckle and forced herself to sober up. She might have some measure of safety, but the Grass trio didn't. And Sasuke-kun...
Kyuubi scanned the area for his fleeing prey. The ground was deceptively flat, though, and Sakura knew it. If the group had reached one of the numerous canyons then he wasn't going to see them. She hoped they kept away, kept safe. (She also hoped Sasuke robbed them blind, but that was rather secondary at the moment.)
She slowly stepped closer, still not sure what she would do. If she could have guaranteed herself enough lag time to learn Maneki's technique, she would have gone with them -- but Kyuubi never held back against Sasuke; he couldn't be rearguard. And without a rearguard at all, Kyuubi would track them down all too soon.
"If you get in my way again, I'll hurt you," Kyuubi said, his back still on her.
He didn't say 'kill'. It was still all talk, even with the dark murderous vibes he gave off. Sakura felt a twinge of relief, mixed with anger and an odd sort of hurt. Even with Tsunade-sama's punches, she still wasn't an opponent he felt he had to take seriously. Turning his back on her so casually -- it stung. He would never turn his back on Sasuke like that.
For a second she considered acting meek, pretending to be harmless, submissive, trying to talk him out of things. Flattering him maybe, calling him Kyuubi-sama so he'd be in a better mood, and no, to hell with that.
She gathered the demon chakra in her fist. It was unstable; but that didn't matter quite as much if it impacted with flesh as opposed to a stony surface. She cocked her fist back and lengthened her steps.
"It's alright," she said, in what she thought was a pretty calm tone, all things considered. "That's fair. I'll be doing the same."
When Kyuubi turned toward her, his expression was irritated enough; but at the last second it changed into offended disbelief.
Then her fist plowed into his face.
She watched him roll on the uneven ground, come to a sudden stop against a jutting rock; the impact almost unseated it.
She felt so calm suddenly. It was strange, a knife's-edge balance between fear and exhilaration. "You know, I really don't like it when you turn your back on me."
He pushed himself up on his hands, shaking his head like a wet dog. He snarled. This time at least his red eyes were looking straight at her.
It was tempting to close the distance, to keep pressing, but she wasn't fast enough to trust her taijutsu against his. She threw herself to the side the second he pounced, knowing how fast he was. He clipped her shoulder anyway; she stumbled, whirled around, found him already coming back for another pounce. She flung an explosive tag straight at him, used the blast to propel herself to the closest boulder. She rolled immediately behind it, before the dust even fell, out of sight. Her back stung all over from the shockwave.
Wear him down -- that was the only way to stop such a force of nature. Slow him down little by little, break his momentum. Keep him from taking control of the fight.
She only had a couple of explosive tags left.
"Hiding?" Kyuubi drawled.
His voice was still far enough that she didn't worry yet. Her eyes roamed over the broken rocks, the dust, the low bushes.
"I thought you wanted to hurt me."
If she could cross this flat, arid area, disappear into the greener hollow the river cut across the island -- there were trees and bushes there. She knew how to use those. She could stall him better.
"Bitten off more than you can chew, have you, bitch."
Well, at least she'd definitely graduated from slut.
She plunged a hand in her pouch. Smoke tag, some candy -- she didn't even have any soldier pills; they were contraindicated in her condition -- a couple of shuriken and ... oh.
Yes, perhaps she could use that.
Kyuubi landed atop her boulder, claws raking the stone. Sakura gasped and took a couple of steps away from him, stumbling, legs visibly shaking. Kyuubi's cold, watchful expression turned into a contemptuous sneer, and he stalked forward with obvious irritation.
"You're not worth my time." He snorted, threw an impatient look at the direction Sasuke and the Grass nin had disappeared. "They'll show more guts... One way or another."
Growling under his breath in a put-upon way, he slipped off the rock, stepped toward her.
Then the wires snapped out of the dust to wrap around his leg with a loud twang.
It was a spider web of steel, wrapping three, four times up his calf, forcing his knee to fold so he stumbled. Anchored to the closest half-dozen boulders, it would take even him a few seconds to rip it out. She'd intended to use the time to flee.
Instead she gathered chakra and charged.
Kyuubi might not want to hurt her. He might not want to fight her. He might not want to see her bleed. It hurt her pride, but it was convenient. She didn't care. But she would never let him hurt Sasuke.
She was close, only a couple of steps away. He was still off-balance, hindered. Her right fist snapped forward.
It glanced off his jaw as he twisted aside with animal flexibility. The chakra exploded out nonetheless, the recoil flinging her hand and his upper body aside, fouling her momentum.
Something hooked her shoulder and threw her to the ground hard enough to leave a gouge in the earth, knocking the breath out of her. He rolled on top of her before she could move, red eyes furious. She raised her other hand, her other fist.
His teeth sank in her left forearm up to the gum. For a second it didn't even hurt; she just felt the pressure. Then her bone cracked in his jaw.
Screaming, she exploded into movement. Feet and knees hammered at his body; he gave her arm a shake. Her blood flew from his mouth, landed in warm drops on her face. Her vision darkened, dizziness and nausea rising together to choke her. She could feel the muscles tear. He'd sliced a vein.
She elbowed him in the temple, screaming again when his fangs were wrenched out.
She didn't even really see the backhand that caught her in the side of the face.
red bridge blue water green sky, all dark, all dirtied, river swelled up with rust-gold and it got the planks all wet under her, all wet and that was just so wrong. water belonged under the bridge, not over it, trying to wash her away. Naruto was there upstream on his island, but he was a curled-up ball of tarnished gold fur and he didn't move at all and it hurt so much she woke up.
She took a little sobbing breath, swimming in and out of consciousness. So stupid to think he wouldn't hurt her at all; her cheekbone was cracked too and her neck hurt. The left side of her tunic was wet with a widening puddle of her blood.
Kyuubi's weight pinned down her thighs. He was so close his blond bangs tickled her forehead. Killing intent roiled off him, choking her. His lips were wet with her blood, as was his chin, like a lion that had just finished gorging itself.
Hadn't killed her yet, she told herself in between two hitching breaths. Nothing was even really broken. Could fix it. Could. If he...
If oh god why was he leaning closer, no, that was more than close enough -- more than close enough, those thick teeth so close to her face, her eyes -- she could still be pregnant without her eyes --
His blood-wet lips brushed her puffed-up cheekbone, his tongue traced the split in the skin his knuckles had left. It stung.
He was growling, so softly it sounded like a purr. Foxes didn't purr, she reminded herself -- threat, not pleasure. The low thrumming sound resonated in her bones. He lifted a hand and she flinched when she thought he'd hit her, then flinched again when it touched her hair instead, tangled messy pink strands around claw-tipped fingers.
"Silly little bitch," he said, so quiet it almost sounded like an endearment.
It wasn't just the eye color and the moods. Something in the way his brow furrowed, his lip quirked, the way he hooded his lids, the way his jaw muscles clenched -- it made all Naruto's leftover baby fat disappear, made the planes of his face subtly different. He looked older than Naruto, and more like a brother than a twin.
He tugged on her hair, forcing her to bare the side of her neck, brushed the tip of his fangs against her skin. A subtle, intimate threat that didn't mean 'I'll tear out your jugular' at all.
He wasn't Naruto, he didn't even look like Naruto, it didn't matter what he did to her. She wasn't going to get flashbacks when Naruto -- later, when he came to her and -- leaned close -- kissed her -- nothing in common to Kyuubi's breath on his face, not the same mood or the same person and it didn't even look like Naruto's body. (it did, it did.)
She breathed out, and in, and out again. Had to be calm, rational.
She'd rather get raped than have an eye bitten out. She was trained to deal with rape.
"Naruto," she whispered back, hand feeling for her thigh pouch. "Naruto, wake up. Wake up." Her finger slipped through a cold metallic ring.
She'd expected Kyuubi to laugh at her, lazy like a well-entertained predator, but the tightly-leashed rage that flared briefly in his eyes caught her by surprise. She'd been wrong, he wasn't satisfied by his win enough to be content with the mental trauma he inflicted. He was still wound up enough he might decide to tear into her again.
If she used that kunai on him, he might kill her out of sheer rage.
If she didn't kill him with the first blow -- sever his spine, pierce his brain -- he would kill her. Sakura didn't want to kill him, and if she just threatened him he would never back off -- he'd counterattack immediately. The weapon was useless.
"Naruto--"
Kyuubi's hand closed around her bleeding arm and tightened, making her give a short, gut-clenching scream.
"Hey, you! What the hell are you doing?!"
Her first thought was 'Sasuke', but even as she had it she knew it couldn't be. The voice was too high-pitched, for one thing. She lifted her head off the ground to scan what she could see of their surroundings.
Kids. Three kids. Thirteen year old at most. A black-haired girl and a bespectacled boy and one with a blade-tipped staff. Their expressions of shock twisted faces she should have remembered.
Then the one with the staff moved forward, and she noticed the wooden shaft lacked ten inches off the end and had been bandaged, so it wouldn't splinter all the way down. His little round-cheeked face was red with offense and something like betrayal.
"What's wrong with you?! I thought you were a nice guy!"
Kyuubi rolled off her just as she recognized the kid Naruto had sparred with, the one he'd finished with his stupid naked woman jutsu -- was it just this morning? It felt like months ago.
Sakura pushed herself up on an elbow, forced green chakra down her cracked bone haphazardly. Maybe she'd heal herself wrong. She didn't care; Tsunade-sama could fix it later. She needed two working arms right now. But when she managed to kneel up her head swam from the blood loss.
Kyuubi was still advancing toward the kids, body stiff with unexpected rage.
Had they gotten a team of uncooperative assholes to safety just to get three friendly brats killed? No, no, no, hell no -- Naruto would recover from getting rid of three enemies, but not from them, not them -- "Run!" she screamed at them, struggling to stand.
She saw them hesitate, resolve wavering. The guy with the glasses took a step back.
Three tails of fiery chakra fanned out behind Kyuubi; the backlash caught her like a mule's kick to the stomach, dropping her again.
"Kyuubi, no!"
A fourth tail; the world started to blur.
"You'll kill the baby--" she saw him pause, hesitate -- just one second, just one, but then he snarled and shook his head like a dog out of water, and the killing intent was so thick in the air she wasn't even surprised to see two of the kids fall to their knees, sobbing in fright.
The one with the spear was still up, bracing himself heavily on his weapon, eyes glassy as he desperately held his ground in front of his teammates.
"I'll kill the baby!"
It was probably the surprise that made Kyuubi glance back over his shoulder.
She climbed back up to her feet, hands firm as she held her last kunai point-first against her belly.
"I'd rather bleed out right here," she said. "I'd rather bleed out right here than bear a child you'd call yours."
He turned halfway toward her, stared at her with burning eyes, his face and bare chest streaked with her blood.
" ... I'm here. You can hurt me a lot more than this. I'm a medic-nin. I can last longer than a kid ever would. Just let them go."
He hung his head then, blond spikes shadowing his face, and it was such a Naruto gesture she didn't notice the third tail had disappeared from view until the ground exploded under her. She was still desperately trying to twist to face the ground so she'd land on her feet when a returning swing caught her right in the ribs.
Fly. Crash.
Her back hurt. Probably because of the boulder Kyuubi had just flung her at. Should have hurt more, but the red chakra was inside her too, so the rock had splintered instead of her spine.
She vaguely thought that she should move, but even turning her head to the side took so much effort.
Someone was crying up there, big gulping sobs, so she tried again.
His teammates' faces were wet with tears, but his wasn't; it was just kind of surprised. Kyuubi was sitting on his haunches beside him. The spear protruded from the boy's stomach, the ribbon at the other end moving like a flag in the wind of Kyuubi's chakra. And then Kyuubi cocked back his claws.
previous part
Unbetaed. I needed to be sleep-deprived to write this bitch. therefore there are likely quite a few things that need fixing. Don't feel shy, tell me. Can't fix it if I don't know it's broke. Will love you forevers.
Thanks to Saropyon and Jochan and Cally who are supercool and awesomewin and shinyyay.
She'd never held and released so much chakra in one go before, and the timing was perfect. Destruction radiated out around her. It was strangely exhilarating.
Kyuubi jumped back, landed in a deep crouch on unstable terrain, snarled at her as his claws dug in for purchase. Sasuke blurred from sight, dust swirling behind him; Kyuubi's head snapped around to track him. Sakura couldn't allow him to do that; it was her job to cover Sasuke's back. But with the ground already broken, the impact of another punch wouldn't travel far.
Her fingers flitted through the water-hose hand seals; she got Kyuubi right in the face. The jet was a lot less impressive this time around, but it did its job. Kyuubi snarled, loud and irritated; by the time he had shaken waterlogged bangs out of his face, she'd seen Sasuke, Maneki and Zenko fade from view, the green-haired boy thrown across Maneki's huge shoulders with his head lolling limply.
Genjutsu. One she could see from her peripheral vision for a couple of seconds, like a desert mirage, but they were out of range before she could pinpoint it. She had no idea if Kyuubi was any better at genjutsu than she was -- but it felt like he should be; fox-spirits were known for their illusions.
Naruto was abysmal at it; she felt a twinge at the thought of him. At least he wasn't aware of what he was doing. She told herself it was a good thing.
"You little bitch."
Suddenly the air was flooded with killing intent and burning chakra.
Sakura gasped, a hand flying to her belly, allowing him to see exactly how much it hurt. "You'll kill the child," she gasped. "You really will."
For a few seconds it looked like he wouldn't care, red eyes disdainful and angry. Worry crept up her spine, resolve wavering. Then with a wordless snarl he turned his back on her, stiff and frustrated, and suddenly she could breathe again.
The raging chakra was gone, smothered. She'd been right. She'd been right. He cared. The threats, and the implication that if the child was too weak to survive that was fine with him, it was all talk -- well, maybe not all talk, but... She swallowed a lone, giddy, chuckle and forced herself to sober up. She might have some measure of safety, but the Grass trio didn't. And Sasuke-kun...
Kyuubi scanned the area for his fleeing prey. The ground was deceptively flat, though, and Sakura knew it. If the group had reached one of the numerous canyons then he wasn't going to see them. She hoped they kept away, kept safe. (She also hoped Sasuke robbed them blind, but that was rather secondary at the moment.)
She slowly stepped closer, still not sure what she would do. If she could have guaranteed herself enough lag time to learn Maneki's technique, she would have gone with them -- but Kyuubi never held back against Sasuke; he couldn't be rearguard. And without a rearguard at all, Kyuubi would track them down all too soon.
"If you get in my way again, I'll hurt you," Kyuubi said, his back still on her.
He didn't say 'kill'. It was still all talk, even with the dark murderous vibes he gave off. Sakura felt a twinge of relief, mixed with anger and an odd sort of hurt. Even with Tsunade-sama's punches, she still wasn't an opponent he felt he had to take seriously. Turning his back on her so casually -- it stung. He would never turn his back on Sasuke like that.
For a second she considered acting meek, pretending to be harmless, submissive, trying to talk him out of things. Flattering him maybe, calling him Kyuubi-sama so he'd be in a better mood, and no, to hell with that.
She gathered the demon chakra in her fist. It was unstable; but that didn't matter quite as much if it impacted with flesh as opposed to a stony surface. She cocked her fist back and lengthened her steps.
"It's alright," she said, in what she thought was a pretty calm tone, all things considered. "That's fair. I'll be doing the same."
When Kyuubi turned toward her, his expression was irritated enough; but at the last second it changed into offended disbelief.
Then her fist plowed into his face.
She watched him roll on the uneven ground, come to a sudden stop against a jutting rock; the impact almost unseated it.
She felt so calm suddenly. It was strange, a knife's-edge balance between fear and exhilaration. "You know, I really don't like it when you turn your back on me."
He pushed himself up on his hands, shaking his head like a wet dog. He snarled. This time at least his red eyes were looking straight at her.
It was tempting to close the distance, to keep pressing, but she wasn't fast enough to trust her taijutsu against his. She threw herself to the side the second he pounced, knowing how fast he was. He clipped her shoulder anyway; she stumbled, whirled around, found him already coming back for another pounce. She flung an explosive tag straight at him, used the blast to propel herself to the closest boulder. She rolled immediately behind it, before the dust even fell, out of sight. Her back stung all over from the shockwave.
Wear him down -- that was the only way to stop such a force of nature. Slow him down little by little, break his momentum. Keep him from taking control of the fight.
She only had a couple of explosive tags left.
"Hiding?" Kyuubi drawled.
His voice was still far enough that she didn't worry yet. Her eyes roamed over the broken rocks, the dust, the low bushes.
"I thought you wanted to hurt me."
If she could cross this flat, arid area, disappear into the greener hollow the river cut across the island -- there were trees and bushes there. She knew how to use those. She could stall him better.
"Bitten off more than you can chew, have you, bitch."
Well, at least she'd definitely graduated from slut.
She plunged a hand in her pouch. Smoke tag, some candy -- she didn't even have any soldier pills; they were contraindicated in her condition -- a couple of shuriken and ... oh.
Yes, perhaps she could use that.
Kyuubi landed atop her boulder, claws raking the stone. Sakura gasped and took a couple of steps away from him, stumbling, legs visibly shaking. Kyuubi's cold, watchful expression turned into a contemptuous sneer, and he stalked forward with obvious irritation.
"You're not worth my time." He snorted, threw an impatient look at the direction Sasuke and the Grass nin had disappeared. "They'll show more guts... One way or another."
Growling under his breath in a put-upon way, he slipped off the rock, stepped toward her.
Then the wires snapped out of the dust to wrap around his leg with a loud twang.
It was a spider web of steel, wrapping three, four times up his calf, forcing his knee to fold so he stumbled. Anchored to the closest half-dozen boulders, it would take even him a few seconds to rip it out. She'd intended to use the time to flee.
Instead she gathered chakra and charged.
Kyuubi might not want to hurt her. He might not want to fight her. He might not want to see her bleed. It hurt her pride, but it was convenient. She didn't care. But she would never let him hurt Sasuke.
She was close, only a couple of steps away. He was still off-balance, hindered. Her right fist snapped forward.
It glanced off his jaw as he twisted aside with animal flexibility. The chakra exploded out nonetheless, the recoil flinging her hand and his upper body aside, fouling her momentum.
Something hooked her shoulder and threw her to the ground hard enough to leave a gouge in the earth, knocking the breath out of her. He rolled on top of her before she could move, red eyes furious. She raised her other hand, her other fist.
His teeth sank in her left forearm up to the gum. For a second it didn't even hurt; she just felt the pressure. Then her bone cracked in his jaw.
Screaming, she exploded into movement. Feet and knees hammered at his body; he gave her arm a shake. Her blood flew from his mouth, landed in warm drops on her face. Her vision darkened, dizziness and nausea rising together to choke her. She could feel the muscles tear. He'd sliced a vein.
She elbowed him in the temple, screaming again when his fangs were wrenched out.
She didn't even really see the backhand that caught her in the side of the face.
red bridge blue water green sky, all dark, all dirtied, river swelled up with rust-gold and it got the planks all wet under her, all wet and that was just so wrong. water belonged under the bridge, not over it, trying to wash her away. Naruto was there upstream on his island, but he was a curled-up ball of tarnished gold fur and he didn't move at all and it hurt so much she woke up.
She took a little sobbing breath, swimming in and out of consciousness. So stupid to think he wouldn't hurt her at all; her cheekbone was cracked too and her neck hurt. The left side of her tunic was wet with a widening puddle of her blood.
Kyuubi's weight pinned down her thighs. He was so close his blond bangs tickled her forehead. Killing intent roiled off him, choking her. His lips were wet with her blood, as was his chin, like a lion that had just finished gorging itself.
Hadn't killed her yet, she told herself in between two hitching breaths. Nothing was even really broken. Could fix it. Could. If he...
If oh god why was he leaning closer, no, that was more than close enough -- more than close enough, those thick teeth so close to her face, her eyes -- she could still be pregnant without her eyes --
His blood-wet lips brushed her puffed-up cheekbone, his tongue traced the split in the skin his knuckles had left. It stung.
He was growling, so softly it sounded like a purr. Foxes didn't purr, she reminded herself -- threat, not pleasure. The low thrumming sound resonated in her bones. He lifted a hand and she flinched when she thought he'd hit her, then flinched again when it touched her hair instead, tangled messy pink strands around claw-tipped fingers.
"Silly little bitch," he said, so quiet it almost sounded like an endearment.
It wasn't just the eye color and the moods. Something in the way his brow furrowed, his lip quirked, the way he hooded his lids, the way his jaw muscles clenched -- it made all Naruto's leftover baby fat disappear, made the planes of his face subtly different. He looked older than Naruto, and more like a brother than a twin.
He tugged on her hair, forcing her to bare the side of her neck, brushed the tip of his fangs against her skin. A subtle, intimate threat that didn't mean 'I'll tear out your jugular' at all.
He wasn't Naruto, he didn't even look like Naruto, it didn't matter what he did to her. She wasn't going to get flashbacks when Naruto -- later, when he came to her and -- leaned close -- kissed her -- nothing in common to Kyuubi's breath on his face, not the same mood or the same person and it didn't even look like Naruto's body. (it did, it did.)
She breathed out, and in, and out again. Had to be calm, rational.
She'd rather get raped than have an eye bitten out. She was trained to deal with rape.
"Naruto," she whispered back, hand feeling for her thigh pouch. "Naruto, wake up. Wake up." Her finger slipped through a cold metallic ring.
She'd expected Kyuubi to laugh at her, lazy like a well-entertained predator, but the tightly-leashed rage that flared briefly in his eyes caught her by surprise. She'd been wrong, he wasn't satisfied by his win enough to be content with the mental trauma he inflicted. He was still wound up enough he might decide to tear into her again.
If she used that kunai on him, he might kill her out of sheer rage.
If she didn't kill him with the first blow -- sever his spine, pierce his brain -- he would kill her. Sakura didn't want to kill him, and if she just threatened him he would never back off -- he'd counterattack immediately. The weapon was useless.
"Naruto--"
Kyuubi's hand closed around her bleeding arm and tightened, making her give a short, gut-clenching scream.
"Hey, you! What the hell are you doing?!"
Her first thought was 'Sasuke', but even as she had it she knew it couldn't be. The voice was too high-pitched, for one thing. She lifted her head off the ground to scan what she could see of their surroundings.
Kids. Three kids. Thirteen year old at most. A black-haired girl and a bespectacled boy and one with a blade-tipped staff. Their expressions of shock twisted faces she should have remembered.
Then the one with the staff moved forward, and she noticed the wooden shaft lacked ten inches off the end and had been bandaged, so it wouldn't splinter all the way down. His little round-cheeked face was red with offense and something like betrayal.
"What's wrong with you?! I thought you were a nice guy!"
Kyuubi rolled off her just as she recognized the kid Naruto had sparred with, the one he'd finished with his stupid naked woman jutsu -- was it just this morning? It felt like months ago.
Sakura pushed herself up on an elbow, forced green chakra down her cracked bone haphazardly. Maybe she'd heal herself wrong. She didn't care; Tsunade-sama could fix it later. She needed two working arms right now. But when she managed to kneel up her head swam from the blood loss.
Kyuubi was still advancing toward the kids, body stiff with unexpected rage.
Had they gotten a team of uncooperative assholes to safety just to get three friendly brats killed? No, no, no, hell no -- Naruto would recover from getting rid of three enemies, but not from them, not them -- "Run!" she screamed at them, struggling to stand.
She saw them hesitate, resolve wavering. The guy with the glasses took a step back.
Three tails of fiery chakra fanned out behind Kyuubi; the backlash caught her like a mule's kick to the stomach, dropping her again.
"Kyuubi, no!"
A fourth tail; the world started to blur.
"You'll kill the baby--" she saw him pause, hesitate -- just one second, just one, but then he snarled and shook his head like a dog out of water, and the killing intent was so thick in the air she wasn't even surprised to see two of the kids fall to their knees, sobbing in fright.
The one with the spear was still up, bracing himself heavily on his weapon, eyes glassy as he desperately held his ground in front of his teammates.
"I'll kill the baby!"
It was probably the surprise that made Kyuubi glance back over his shoulder.
She climbed back up to her feet, hands firm as she held her last kunai point-first against her belly.
"I'd rather bleed out right here," she said. "I'd rather bleed out right here than bear a child you'd call yours."
He turned halfway toward her, stared at her with burning eyes, his face and bare chest streaked with her blood.
" ... I'm here. You can hurt me a lot more than this. I'm a medic-nin. I can last longer than a kid ever would. Just let them go."
He hung his head then, blond spikes shadowing his face, and it was such a Naruto gesture she didn't notice the third tail had disappeared from view until the ground exploded under her. She was still desperately trying to twist to face the ground so she'd land on her feet when a returning swing caught her right in the ribs.
Fly. Crash.
Her back hurt. Probably because of the boulder Kyuubi had just flung her at. Should have hurt more, but the red chakra was inside her too, so the rock had splintered instead of her spine.
She vaguely thought that she should move, but even turning her head to the side took so much effort.
Someone was crying up there, big gulping sobs, so she tried again.
His teammates' faces were wet with tears, but his wasn't; it was just kind of surprised. Kyuubi was sitting on his haunches beside him. The spear protruded from the boy's stomach, the ribbon at the other end moving like a flag in the wind of Kyuubi's chakra. And then Kyuubi cocked back his claws.
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Oh, MAN. Since I'm the first commenter (maybe) let's see what I can do, beta-wise:
(She also hoped Sasuke robbed them blind, but that was rather secondary at the moment.)
Nice line, and well-timed.
If she could have guaranteed herself a long enough lag to learn...
I would change this to "long enough lag time" because the common usage is to include the word "time" after "lag."
"Bitten off more than you can chew, have you, bitch."
Well, at least she'd definitely graduated from slut.
In almost no other work of fiction would I consider this a term of endearment, and yet I squealed like a girly-girl when I read it.
Smoke tag, some candy -- she didn't even have any soldier pills; they were contraindicated in her condition
Though the word usage is correct (and yay! for teaching me a new word) I'm not convinced the average reader would know what "contraindicated" means without looking it up. Strangely, it fits because Sakura's a medical trainee, so I'm a little torn about keeping it in.
Red bridge blue water green sky, all dark, all dirtied, river swelled up with rust-gold and it got the planks all wet under her, all wet and that was just so wrong. Water belonged under the bridge, not over it, trying to wash her away. Naruto was there upstream on his island, but he was a curled-up ball of tarnished gold fur and he didn't move at all and it hurt so much she woke up.
WORD. Nice stream of consciousness, but I think I'd re-write it as this so that you can follow her journey from unconsciousness to consciousness in a visual way:
red bridge blue water green sky all-dark all-dirtied river swelled up with rust-gold and it got the planks all wet under her all-wet and that was just so wrong water belonged under the bridge not over it trying to wash her away...naruto was there upstream on his island but he was a curledupball of tarnished gold fur, and he didn't move at all... and it hurt so much she woke up.
I think there's more visual poetry this way.
The side of her tunic was wet with a widening puddle of her blood.
Which side? Would be helpful to know for visualization's sake.
He was so close blond bangs tickled her forehead. Killing intent roiled off him, choking her. His lips were wet with her blood, and his chin, like a lion just done gorging itself.
Change to:
He was so close >his< blond bangs tickled her forehead. Killing intent roiled off him, choking her. His lips were wet with her blood, >as was< his chin, like a lion >that had just finished< gorging itself.
She'd expected Kyuubi to laugh at her, lazy like a well-entertained predator, but the tightly-leashed rage that flared briefly in his eyes caught her by surprise. She'd been wrong, he wasn't satisfied by his win enough to be content with the mental trauma he inflicted. He was still wound up enough he might decide to tear into her again.
And..... this is why Sakura lost. Because she still hates what Kyuubi stands for so much and well-done for placing those hints all along. I'm disappointed, but not in you for writing her this way because it's this tragic flaw in this fight that makes Sakura more human and less of an annoyance. Well freaking done.
No, no, no, hell no -- Naruto would recover from getting rid of three enemies, but not from them, not them -- "Run!" she screamed at them, struggling to stand.
Oh, poor Naruto. He's going to hate himself even more after this test is over. And then Sasuke/Sakura will have to make him feel better. Please?
Three tails of fiery chakra fanned out behind Kyuubi; the backlash caught her like a mule's kick to the stomach, dropping her again.
"Kyuubi, no!"
Well, as least she learned her lesson on calling her lover by the wrong name. ^_^
And I'll just repeat what I said above...
!!!!!
Hope the rest of this chapter comes out much easier.
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*edit edit edit*
I think I'll keep contraindicated. XD It's IC, and it never hurt me to have to get the dictionary. :p (is it really that rare though? In french it's kind of common-ish. @__@ how strange.)
As for which side and which arm, at first I wasn't sure, also i like keeping it vague because of the way I visualize things in a left/right way, that is, pretty badly XD;; (I swear when you tell me "go right!" i still have to think a second before knowing which side that is. DX ) I think I decided the non-hurt arm is on the side of the kunai, though, so I'll probably go ahead and edit those refs in.
Oh, this chapter is complete! XD now I get to go Sasuke-POV. yay Sasuke. *eyes him suspiciously* >____> if you decide not to talk to me either, bitch... >E
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And if there's anything I can do to help get your Sasuke-muse running (and fighting, and worrying) I will. Oh, hey... he could intimidate the medi-nin in showing him the genjutsu. GO GO GADGET-SHARINGAN!
(If you don't get that reference, I could explain later.)
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I'd keep it, Sakura would use it both thinking to herself and with colleagues.
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Actually, delete 'a long' and just say 'enough lag time' -- lag time is measured as a quantity, not a (metaphorical) distance, so 'long' is not the right kind of measurement word.
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And this chapter is very, very cool and that is an EVIL cliffhanger!
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... Well. The first chapter of evilness.
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such many different kinds of kickass
Sakura has been a fav char of mine since she actually started to grow a pair and become all(which sadly took far far too long), as Naruto said somewhere in ref to Temari, Kick Ass and Ballsy, and while this Sakura is different she is still the same in the ways that drew me to her originally
contraindicated isnt used all that much on this side of the puddle because most people here dont have the patience to look up teh complicated words, hell id wager better than 2/3rds couldn't actually pronounce it let alone know what it means in the context. even i gotta admit that it took me a minute to parse the word but that was mostly cause i havent seen it actually used properly in probably a decade of reading >~.~<
lastly i gotta apologize, iv been a big fan of this fic series since i stumbled across it on aff but i dont comment on much even if its somethin i truly enjoy, mostly 'cause others tend to say what i want and, if not a lot more eloquently, then a lot more colourfully
dunno if this is an appropriate place to post a link or if you seen this but i thought you might get a kick outta it http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4271738/1/Sleeping_Arrangements
*lovelove*
Sasuke has his own problems at the moment, sadly enough. bwahaha. I sure hope writing him fighting will be easier -- he has a much bigger arsenal than Sakura and he's not fighting an insane juggernaut of foxy death. DX (prolly means I have to get him other difficulties to toy with or things will get boring. XDD)
Mmmm. I loved Sakura almost since the start, but yess her getting all kickass was very prrrt. I'm glad this stupid fic is finally reaching that point. Blargh. After this, no more Mrs Nice Sakura! >E
Woe woe woe. Think it's understandable from context or should I change it? There's a difference between "most people haven't seen this used" and "no one will have a CLUE"... *sniffle*
And thank you for the link, I remember reading that fic a long while ago but it turns out she wrote a couple more ot3 fics I hadn't seen yet, which is very yay! ♥ She writes socute. X3
Re: *lovelove*
i think it works, its not a word many will recognize but its Sakura, she is a queen of big words and doesnt care who will understand what she is saying unless she has to and then she'll drop into 'explain it so that even Naruto can understand' mode ... not that she thinks he is a complete idiot(usually) or anything just that she knows if she can make him understand then most anyone else will too.
course now i'm all kinds of curious bout what trouble Sasuke is neck deep in, and I agree with Sakura, rob them blind is so the right way to go, if he gets the chance.
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(Anonymous) 2009-05-24 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)Personally, I'd change "a long enough lag time" to just "enough lag time", sounds like it flows better, to me. Your call, though.
-- Guile
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Thank you, that's two votes for it so I shall change it right away. u.u-b
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So, why comment? Just to say I love you. I wish I could just sit down and finish my monster I started 2 years ago (and it's not even epic, I think it's gonna be 20something thousand words only...)
Loveing and hugging sent. And some cookies, because I know I would love those the most. Maybe even a cake, you'll have to wait and see. =P
Sorry for me being such an ungrateful lazy wench. *pouts*
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Told you I was tired. XD
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♥♥♥ Is all good. Get some rest, you tired wench-thing.
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...sdgfknljhkfdh. sfgh. !
Oh my jeez this looks awesome. D: I was too busy reading to notice any off-bits about it but. but! fffffffff
oh man, did not expect Kyuubi to nab a kid. It's right to say the spear is through the kid and.. not Naruto, right? xD It's a liiiittle tricky to tell there, but otherwise ffff.
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--oops. Will fix grammar but yes, kid getting speared not naruto. >_>;;;;
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Btw when Sakura got irritated because she thought if it were Sasuke, Kyuubi would never turn his back on him... I think he would XD Or better, he has. But Sakura wasn't there to see it u.u (When they were talking about the baby in the forest he purposefully ignored him...and even in the sidefic where he 'plays' with Sasuke) But I know what you mean so yup,he would definitely notice Sasuke more. Thank god Sakura got promoted from slut. XDD LOL I really liked that line~ X3
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Oh man, Kyuubi. Getting him and Naruto on speaking terms again is gonna be so difficult XDDDD BUT! I have plot for it, so all is yay.
Btw when Sakura got irritated because she thought if it were Sasuke, Kyuubi would never turn his back on him... I think he would XD
Haha yes. XD But then when Kyuubi turns his back on Sasuke it's a deliberate challenge, like "haha i'm not scared of you, now try to attack me! it will be fun." and when he turns it on sakura it's just he forgets she's here. a good thing it's not gonna happen again XD though now I bet he's gonna be sulky at her. XD It's all good, he'll respect her more! XD
*lovelove*
AND NOW I WRITE SASUKE. >:O roarrr.
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Anyways, I like how sakura isnt wimpy but she isn't necessarily strong either..It just helps the flow I guess =) and I love how I cant see whats gonna come next in the story, or maybe I'm just clueless and other people can...if that is the case then i am happy im clueless =DD you make my day full of laughs Askerian ;) keep it up!
P.S. your lube icon cracked me up =D
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I don't know if other people can see much of what I have planned... Certainly hoping they don't! >_____> *suspicious* Mmm, plot twists. *pets them*
re P.S. thank you v. much. u.u~ yours is quite pretty, who is that? >.> i have a weakness for people who have that kind of hair/eye color. They remind me of a friend I had who had blond-red hair and managed to have the exact same orangey gold eye color, it was super pretty. XD
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Good luck with the plot twists XD
np =) and uh well its Edward from the japanese books of Twilight...i really need some new icons though u_u; and your friend is very lucky!!
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:3 huhuhu.
I'm very glad you enjoyed it. yays! ^o^ also very glad sakura struck the right balance. x____x
... now... beta tiem. blah. *looks for beta* T^T
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Sakura seems incredibly willing to off herself to stop the fox, but do you think she really would? I mean I wouldn't argue that she would die, that any one of the three would die to save the others, but for complete strangers?
I'm so glad she's finally getting her backbone. Sakura from the first half of Naruto always frustrated me because even after she started making steps to fix it, she was still so...willing to lay down and die. Kyuubi's violent borderline sexual apatite, as well as the blood thing, was utterly awesome. The contained wildness that you managed to create in him was fantastic. More than anything else, the fight felt right, not too much and no too little. I can't wait to see what fuel Sasuke will add to this already potent situation.
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No, I don't think Sakura would kill herself or the child to stop Kyuubi. There's just a difference between saving asshole enemies who are about their age, and saving 13 year old kids Naruto was goofing off with. He'd take it almost like he'd killed Konohamaru, so Sakura gets more desperate about it.
^_______^ ♥
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And Sasuke gets a half kill from sticking his hand through Naruto's chest.
That said, I cannot wait to see the fallout from this. Naruto angsts so beautifully.
<3
You are brilliant. I love how painfully and gritty and real you have the Kyuubi/Sakura interaction, that she is willing to take the lumps to protect. The raw desperation, Sasuke grudgingly letting her decide the course of action, the evil EVIL cliffhanger . . . you have me drooling for more. Hooray!
Eeee!
Oh man, your daughter. XD;;; I'm sorry for laughing but that's got to be frustrating at times. Also a bit sad, not a cute kid anymore. XD; Renovations still in progress? We've been doing that with the new apartment too, but I have to admit since my father works in construction it's been going quite fast. Also we don't have to worry about walls and roofs and whatnot.
I'm writing more! Well, taking notes. But soon I will be writing more! As long as I know where to start and what sentence to use. Opening sentences are evil.
Re: Eeee!
I am so THRILLED you are writing more :D I always check your lj, and have you on notify for ff.net so I won't miss a thing n__n And yes, opening sentences are evil.
Oh man, it's been so long...
(I review as I read.)
Lol, got him right in the face. ^^ ____ Ah, so he is concerned. As well he should be. He might not get another chance to produce offspring if he takes this one out. ____ Bwahahaha, she socked him! XDD Nice one, Sakura! ____ "Well, at least she'd definitely graduated from slut." (*snicker*) Yes, that's something at least. ____ This Kyuubi vs. Sakura fight is kick-ass. >D ____ Owwwwch, strong jaw. >.< ____ Jeez ... Naruto's going to be horrified when he wakes up. If he finds out or still remembers this. ____ S-s-s-scary.... ____ Oh crap. Don't tell me he's going to go for the kids! ;_; ____ Huh! I was wondering if Sakura would pull the I'll-kill-the-baby move to stop Kyuubi. I didn't think she would, but the timing was good. ____ I guess if the kid's going to die, it's going to be on Kyuubi's hands. At least, that's how his logic looks to me, anyway. Then again, he doesn't always seem to go on logic. More like mood. ____ Oh jeez. He stabbed the kid?
Next part....
Re: Oh man, it's been so long...
The next part went through SO MANY rewrites, so I think the first part you found isn't the one I kept in the end. It's just... anticlimatic. hrrn. I'll figure something out, but it'll have to be after nano. ~__~
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