askerian | What's up with Teamwork?

Current Mood: frustrated

Entry tags:

What's up with Teamwork?

So... this moment in Teamwork, with Kyuubi rampaging happily, it's pretty much the scene I came up with the whole Teamwork 3 fic for.

Except I came up with it two years ago, and the world evolved, the characters evolved, and as I refined the scenes I realized I had HUGE plotholes incoming if I went with it exactly as planned.

This fight scene is messy. Very messy. Everything happens very fast, Sakura is on the verge of saying "fuck it" and running for her life, except she can't because that's her teammate going crazy there and she needs to make sure to keep the damages to a minimum.

Balancing Sakura-who-tries-hard-to-stand-her-ground and scared-Sakura and still-feeling-too-weak-to-actually-DO-anything-Sakura is difficult. She doesn't even know whether she wants to hide from Kyuubi or cling to him and hope he settles down or fight him or beg and hope it flatters him enough that he considers calming down. Nothing she can do at the moment seems like it could help, and I have some ideas as to what she can really do but there's no clear cut action to take for her and that's very hard to write properly.

Also, there are several opposing forces -- Kyuubi should be pretty simple, he wants to play and hunt, except there's the cub Sakura carries to consider and fuck if he doesn't want to consider it. Also he's an insane juggernaut of playful DEATH and keeping him from just bulldozing over everything is hell. (Also I'm forgetting the way he speaks, which doesn't help. ~__~)

Maneki the healer wouldn't mind cooperating on getting Kyuubi contained if he could do it safely but Kyuubi for some reason decided to go after him first, Kon the fox guy would cut a bitch if he could move his toes without bleeding and he wishes his teammates just grabbed him and ran like hell already, Zenko the ice bitch is as likely to use the confusion to stab Sakura if she gets a chance as she is of going after Kyuubi with serious intent to kill -- the team summon kids all have conflicting impulses that also make their action difficult to determine.

Then there's Sasuke, who -- I have no CLUE what he's doing. I think Kyuubi found he was too tired to be fun to play with and since he doesn't want to break him, he put sasuke in storage. Under a tree. Yeah. Sasuke comes back all pissed, great! and ... I dunno. He's probably going to try to come back and fight Kyuubi some more, but would that help? Probably not. It would only make the scene even more confusing. Anyway my inspiration regarding him in this fight approximates zero, which is really wrong because no way in hell would he not be right there.

Frankly, this scene is completely chaotic. It would be okay if it was only chaotic for a few seconds, but the chaos lasts and lasts until I can't even visualize what I just wrote anymore.

And I've recently realized that what I wanted to happen when I came up with the scene -- well, if I allow that to happen, there will be severe consequences I really do not want to deal with because it would make the whole universe way too dark. As it is, I already have heavy consequences planned, but consequences they can recover from. If I push it farther, ow. Broken.

But that means something else should happen to counter it and I'm still not too sure what.

So... The characters all have too many conflicting impulses for me to just let them go where they want to and see what happens, which I like to do usually; and I'm not even sure what I'm working TOWARD so I can't even build the scene from the other end.

Recently I've been trying to redefine more precisely and more believably what should happen next, so that I have a better idea of what I need to do to get there. But it's hard, and it's confusing, and it's a real mess.

But I have to keep trying because the payoff, oh, the payoff is shiny.

Hopefully. >_>

So at the moment I'm deleting ideas I had of what happened in between two must-have moments and trying to rebuild different, better bridges between them. Easier to comprehend. Not so emotionally exhausting. but that means I have to analyze the themes I want and then build actions and emotions on them and, just, that's so clinical and not the way I usually write and... Augh.

But hell if I don't want to start tearing off clumps of my hair and scream FUCK IT sometimes. I already find fight scenes confusing to write clearly when I have an exact idea of what happens and why, so a melee where the narrator doesn't even know for sure what her priorities are... ~__~

Edit: ALL HAIL QUEEN

book_people!

Booyah.

Not sure it's ALL fixed yet, i'll have to let it settle, but it seems to be unstuck!

I should have complained earlier, it seems that's the pattern -- I get stuck for weeks and months on end, then the second I give up and mention I'm stuck, BAM. XD But if I deliberately tried to use it then maybe it wouldn't work anymore... >__>

Anyway all that's left now is to actually get the inspiration to find the right words for those scenes so nicely outlined. Which. um. we'll see. >______>

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

:hugs: I'm sorry dear...that sounds like you're having an awful time of it. I wish I could help. <3 Good luck, and have a brownie I made. They're delicious. :hands brownies:

It's okay, ranting like this helps me clear my mind, and I'm already getting ideas that might possibly fix this mess! It's all good. i'll find a way ^__^ I just need to bitch and moan in the meantime. XD

yay brownies!

The benefit of having Sakura as your POV at this point is if she goes unconscious, the scene ends, and Naruto certainly won't remember what happened after that. ((Team Summons better run like hell though, if Sakura doesn't want to wake up to Kyuubi picking his teeth with a rib bone.)) I personally laugh every time you mention Sasuke being stuffed in storage. Because I doubt Kyubbi was nice about it and probably just tucked him somewhere that he considered safe, and considering he's a fox and he's got all sorts of burrowing impulses, it's probably stuffed under ground somewhere. Sasuke is going to be PISSED. You of course have two options in the knocking Sakura out, Bitch could hurt her, in which The whole team is going to die because hurting Sakura might hurt the cub, and she belongs to Kyuubi anyway, so he's really the only one allowed to mess with her. Or you could just have her pass out, it's been a day. She's pregnant and it's been a day. I'm not sure what Kyuubi's default reaction might be after that, it might be enough of a rush to wake Naruto up though. That or she could just go Medic on him and threaten to put herself out and possibly hurt the cub. He might react to that, he's attached to the baby. I love looking at your notes as far as this goes, though, it's really interesting. :) I'm sure whatever you come up with will be amazing.

Sakura might pass out but if she does it will be for no more than ten seconds. I have a plot to push along and character interaction to show and I can't do it offscreen and handwave everything problematic away. Things need to happen and she needs to be conscious for it, and that big issue I tried to prevent? it's precisely Kyuubi killing people, and team Summons isn't even the only team in hunting range. Naruto is never going to be okay with waking up elbows-deep in someone's guts, and he's never going to forgive Kyuubi for using that one time he was unconscious, and he's never going to let Kyuubi out ever again. Then I don't get KyuuSasu sex later down the road and that's just too sad to contemplate. T.T

Yeah, Naruto would have an issue with waking up elbow deep in someone's guts, or with someone in his teeth. Gah, No, no, we can't have the wonderfullness of KyuuSasu go away. Is there a time limit on the tech that was used on Naruto, to put him under? I think Team Summons best bet would probably be just to go away, and let Sakura deal with the Rampaging Fox, at least he won't hurt her. I don't know that they're going to, because they seem like chaotic little bunnies who refuse to be herded in the right direction by the Almighty Bunny Herder. Maybe he'd listen if Sakura bargained with him? It's really hard to guess what the Fox would do in any given situation. I think at the moment he's just flailing around going "Free at last, Free at last!" Without any real direction.

Is there a time limit on the tech that was used on Naruto, to put him under?

Around six-eight hours. >_>;;;; Which means Naruto could get out of it in four hours! ... which is still too long. I already know how he'll wake up and why though.

book_people is helping me sorting things out and things are already looking better as to where i'm going, yay. But there are still a few kinks... >__>

The problem with bargaining is that Sakura doesn't have a lot to bargain with. I mean apart from sex but I really don't want to get into how dubious consent-ish it would get and how she would react to Naruto afterwards (her boyfriend and her rapist sharing the same body = aaaawkward.) I think she'll have to use a variety of misdirection/distraction/bribing/violence to really get anywhere with him, but the problem is that if it's not balanced properly then the whole thing could go bad very fast. Kyuubi is very hard to manipulate.

And it's doubtful that the same tech would even work on Kyuubi.... Sheesh, Naruto is going to be so sheepish when this gets through. Even though this time it really, really isn't his fault. He wasn't give much chance to say yeh, meh or NO, I'm not letting you out bitch!

Hitting him might just turn him on...which circles you back to the Dub-con. The 'Sasuke might be in danger' bone might work, but only for as long as it takes him to check back on his Love Nest. And if she goes that rout, she libel to be sack of Potatoed all the way back to Kyuubi's Love Nest. *Wants to see Kyuubi's idea of a love nest, really really badly now, and a ruffled, probably bound pissed off Sasuke stuffed there for safe keeping, because it will be good for the soul* Like I said, whatever you come up with is going to be AWESOME.

*HUGS*

don't give up!

*huggle* s'okay ^^

I hate it when that happens to me. I never know how to get from point B to point G and from there to point Q. It drives me nuts. Severe write's block is what has all of my fics on hold right now. I just don't know how I want to write it.

Yeah: Sasuke = No show just won't work. He's too much a stubborn, pushy bastard. He won't allow himself to be kept down for long. Frustrating, isn't it? And Kyuubi ... eh. Well, if the team Summons guy who put it on him ould undo it himself... well, Kyuu won't let that happen I am sure. And since Sakura is trying to do the same, I doubt he'll let her within arms length of him. Maybe Sasuke could show up and steal the tech from this guy with the Sharingan, but that would require him acutally seeing it. Hmm. How troublesome.

Hey, if the Sharingan copies everything permanently, why doesn't Sasuke suffer from some sort of information overload?

Rants are always helpful. We have faith in you, don't we, everybody?

Gah, logic and plots, who need them, srsly. ~______~

I think i found a way to make sasuke more present, so yay ^^

if the Sharingan copies everything permanently, why doesn't Sasuke suffer from some sort of information overload?
Because it's not actively present until sasuke needs to remember it? It's like, you know your bank code and phone numbers, but unless you're typing them in, they're not at the forefront of you mind. XD I guess. >>;

♥

Hmm, but the benefit of writing a scene from the pov of a confused character is that some confusing in flow can be attributed to the character..

yeah but if it's confusing for more than a couple of lines then the reader just skips it or goes all WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE. Then what's the point of writing it? Even if it's supposed to be confusing for the character, the reader should still see clearly what they're confused about. That scene is so messy i'm not sure I could pull off even that much.

I'm building up this novel where a guy and two girls have a happy threesome going, and totally understand how it can get difficult to organize the interaction so that all three stay active inside a very busy situation.
Your "Teamwork" has been really inspiring until now, with great pow alternations and intro techniques.

Action scenes are beyond me, but yours have always been well-written. I officially thank book_people for helping out, she's doing us greedy fans a big favor.

Ohh, canon threesome. Those are always awesome. What's your plot about?

And, thank you very much for the encouragement. #^__^#

Well, just these 3 people living together in an apartment, trying to deal with their jobs/college and figure themselves out. They're all under 25, so there's family to deal with.
The guy is a deep thinker-type, and always feels the need to analyze the way they work together. He's the one that's dealing with most of the moral and social issues that a threesome presents. The two girls don't feel the need to justify or explain their love.

It's kind of a big game where they're figuring out how much love is their own business and how much the families are entitled to know. Also, there's religion and inability to communicate, different emotional needs, financial pressure, clashing dreams and expectations.. It's one big chaos, actually, in my head as well as on paper, but damn is it ever fun to write!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What's up with Teamwork?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject