askerian: icon of sakura dragging naruto and sasuke by the hand, saying shut up, i am seme tonight (T7_Sakura Seme)
askerian ([personal profile] askerian) wrote2008-05-11 12:06 am

TEAMWORK WHEE. - chapter 3 scene 2? 3?

http://askerian.livejournal.com/384832.html#cutid1 => Previous part. It's the one where they disembark on the island. (Though I'm thinking of inserting a quick NaruSaku scene between the two, since they would be alone together for a while. I have no clue WTF could happen, though, so I'm taking suggestions.)

This wasn't betaread, I just read it over once when I was done typing it, so there's no doubt a lot of improvements to make. Please tell me if the grammar/syntax/typos bug you, or the characterization, or =ESPECIALLY THIS ONE=> you can't visualise a scene properly. It's got a fight scene in there and the least I can say is that I'm not used to writing them.

Or you could just say stuff like "what the hell took you so long." That would work too. plz loev me. .__.


(1st scene of this chapter: here)


Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Sasuke glared at the little rivulet slowly filtering through a folded-up length of bandage, leaving brownish-gold tracks on the white cloth. The gourd underneath was only a third full. He had a feeling this was going to take hours.

Frowning, he wedged himself in a sitting position on a rocky ledge, a foot pushing against the opposite wall of the narrow crevasse, his other leg dangling just over the muddy, sluggish stream that ran at the bottom. At least he was out of sight. He'd reached the miniature waterfall by wading through the stream from the sea up, and hadn't touched anything; his scent should have evaporated by now.

This was the morning of the second day of the test and they still hadn't found anyone to steal tokens from. Sasuke pulled his out of his pocket and turned it over in his hand. It was a simple coin-sized disk of copper, with the Wave Country symbol and a serial number engraved on it.

"You get three per team!" they'd been told, "And if you want to pass, you'll bring nine back. That's nine per team, provided you're a full team; lose a member, and it's every man for himself at the exit."

Sasuke had made calculations. Taking into account the lone members' augmented need for tokens and the expected brutality of the Mist genin in the competition, it wasn't so surprising they'd had to add Jounin to the mix if they wanted the tournament of the third test to be anything worth looking at. No doubt every country wanted an acceptable number of new Chuunin made this exam to strengthen their villages; no one would be satisfied if only a handful of people passed because the level was insanely high, and the rest all died or were sent home too badly crippled to ever try again.

The wandering jounin weren't supposed to attack the genin or make the test more difficult; but they carried a token each, and if you could steal it off them, Sasuke supposed that was one less you had to pry from a fellow genin's cold, dead fingers. But so far Team Seven hadn't seen anyone at all, jounin or genin.

The stream kept dripping. Might as well do something productive... Sasuke cupped his hands, concentrated his chakra. The stone would protect him from chakra-sensitive people, and if anyone heard the chirping, well, there were enough birds nesting everywhere on this island to account for it.

Ox, Hare, Monkey.

Of course, if anyone got close enough to see the glow... Maybe he'd get some exercise.

"Chidori."

And again. Ox, Hare, Monkey.

He was in the middle of his fourth Chidori not-quite-sphere, and getting no closer to mastering the highly unstable shape, when the dense tangle of plants at the surface started rustling. It was a specific pattern of movement : someone running. Someone running really fast.

Two someones. Maybe more, but in that case they were being quieter about it.

And not his teammates. They came from entirely the wrong direction for that. Sasuke screwed the gourd top closed and secured the precious water to his belt. Swinging his legs off the ledge, he slipped out of his seat and crept up the rocky wall, and looked out through the gray-green leaves of the low bushes hanging over the edges of the canyon.

When he saw the kunoichi team, the ones who'd hung all over Naruto on the ferry, running for their lives from three burly, sword-brandishing men, he was tempted to stay in his hiding place and let them fend for themselves. But unless they changed directions, they would cross paths with his own teammates in short order.

And then he got a closer look at the men chasing the kunoichi trio, and hiding ceased to be an option. It was close to impossible for triplets to be identical, which meant the trio of Rock ninjas were kage bunshin. Which meant the guy with the oversized scimitar still had two teammates crawling around somewhere. Somewhere where his teammates might be.

Sasuke sprang out of the canyon under one of the triplets' feet. His kunai buried itself in guts to the hilt, and for a second, Sasuke thought he'd gotten the caster, but it burst into smoke as Sasuke landed. Two enemies left, and they reacted fast. A large, viciously curved sword whistled through the air where his head should have been, prompting Sasuke to throw himself down and roll through the thorny bushes. It gave the last enemy time to flit through hand seals Sasuke knew all too well. Two other clones popped into existence to replace the two he'd just destroyed.

At least it told Sasuke who was the original. If he knocked him out... but the clones blocked his way as the original went back to giving chase to the kunoichi team. He caught a glimpse of the blonde with the curly hair stumbling, and the brunette with the spear whirled around, swinging her longer weapon at the Rock ninja's legs under his guard, but Sasuke couldn't see more than that before his own assailants demanded his attention again.

For a few intense seconds, it was all he could see -- the synchronized dance of two large, curved swords, forcing him to weave and dodge. He was good enough to avoid any close calls, but if he slowed down too much, they would get him. He needed to end this, quickly.

He allowed them to corner him, to leave him only one escape route; they predictably pushed him into it. Kicking off the rock at his back, he jumped high in the air. No trees to ricochet off of; they knew exactly where he would land. They were waiting, matching smirks on their faces.

"Katon : goukakyou no jutsu!"

By the time he landed, the bunshins were gone -- but so were the kunoichi team and the last, real enemy. Sasuke gave chase. He couldn't see them anymore, no doubt hidden behind a falsely shallow bump of the ground, but they hadn't made any efforts to hide their tracks; he saw trampled grass, and even a few uprooted bushes.

He crested a hillock, and first saw the tall, brown-haired girl. She lay in a tangle of gangly limbs in the middle of a thicket, a few feet down the slope; the shrubs had been half-uprooted by her weight, threatening to dump her down the sharper incline of the hill. Blood soaked her bandaged arm and her zippered bodysuit and she'd been disarmed, but she was conscious and no one tried to finish her off; there were more urgent things to do than to stop and chat. Sasuke leaped over her body, skidding down the slope in a shower of loosened rocks and dust.

"H-hey!" she called weakly behind him.

Growling impatiently, Sasuke snatched her spear off the ground, screeching to a stop on a rock to send it sailing toward its owner. That was all he was disposed to do in her favor; turning back, he caught a glimpse of the brunette crawling through the bush to get at the spear, and then he was running again.

The rest of them weren't far; he just had to turn around the corner of a small cliff, and here they were. The Rock ninja with his big, curved sword -- no more Bunshins this time. Sasuke was briefly surprised to see he hadn't taken the time to make a few more -- as poor fighters as the blonde and the transvestite were, comparatively, it was still two against one.

The Rock nin was targeting the blonde, who held him at bay with wild slashes of razor wire, making cut up leaves and flowers fly; but as Sasuke ran to meet them, he saw the guy block the wires with the thick edge of his sword; he let their momentum wrap them around the blade, and yanked the girl off her feet. A kunai thrown at the wires by her teammate cut her free, and she rolled away just as the Rock nin's sword came down.

She wouldn't dodge the follow-up slash; Sasuke put on a burst of speed, but unless she managed to dodge again, he was going to be too late.

That was when her teammate tackled the enemy.

Sasuke would have done the same -- provided he somehow managed to lose every single one of his kunai and drive himself to the very edge of chakra exhaustion when his enemy was still good for another round or three. But someone needed to explain to that idiot that a guy who could successfully pass for a small-boned, delicate girl had no business hurtling himself at a hulking warrior, especially one with such a solid, rooted stance.

The gray-haired guy had had the foresight to braid his too-long hair and stuff it down his shirt; the rest of his flowing clothes made aiming for his body more difficult, though Sasuke could see a few shallow cuts on his upper arms and ribs, but they weren't so safe against getting grabbed. The Rock ninja did lose a second that the girl used to crawl clear -- but he only switched targets, elbowing the gray-haired boy who clung to his back in the ribs hard enough to make the boy gasp.

Sasuke was close enough to throw kunai now, but they kept moving, the Rock ninja trying to get a good hold on the boy, the boy doing his best not to let him. Sasuke chose to snatch up the girl instead, throwing her across his shoulder and bouncing up the cliff. He dumped her on her ass at the top, where she couldn't get in the way, and jumped back down, ignoring her outraged shriek.

By the time he got back down, the Rock ninja was holding his squirming adversary under one arm, sword in that hand, and was doing his best to search him for tokens with his free hand. Sasuke thought solid, Earth-rooted stances were good for one thing; at the last moment, the Rock guy saw his kunai coming, but he wasn't fast enough to dodge it. It stabbed home just over his hip, and his hold on both weapon and prisoner went slack. The gray-haired boy squirmed free and scrambled away down the canyon, away from them. Sasuke didn't bother keeping an eye on him. Another kunai in hand, he stared down the enemy.

"Give me your token," Sasuke said, the first and last ultimatum he was ready to offer. The rock ninja only sneered, but Sasuke's sharingan caught the barest twitch of a hand toward his belt, where he had no doubt stashed it.

He didn't need a sharingan to catch the way the man paled when he realized the hidden pocket was empty.

"The little shit!" he snarled, incensed.

Sasuke had to dodge back quickly when the enemy pulled out an explosive tag and threw it at him. The cliffs shook; gravel rattled down. He jumped forward through the thick dust, squinting, only to see the swordsman's back as he gave chase to the escaping transvestite. From her perch up the cliff, the blonde hurtled rocks at his head, slowing down the burly, injured ninja a little more, and for a second Sasuke assumed he would have no trouble catching up at all.

And then the blonde screamed down. "Look out! Water!"

What tipped him off to her actual meaning was the rush of displaced air at his back, as if pushed along the canyon by something massive and rather hurried.

He glanced over his shoulder. A twelve feet high wall of water rushed down the canyon, forcing Sasuke to jump for the closest jutting rock and climb. He got clear in time, but the splash soaked his legs and made his hold a little slippery. He scanned his surroundings for the caster of the jutsu, a corner of his mind noting that the flash flood wasn't that long; it was already losing speed and mass, leaving behind soggy moss, wet rocks, and a lot of mud in the cracks.

Sasuke climbed to the top of his rock and leaped to the cliff, scanning his surroundings. He found the caster after a few seconds; he was pale and a little shaky, but then, such a huge mass of water probably required effort. But when Sasuke advanced on him, his hands snapped up into a series of seals Sasuke had never seen before. Sasuke's hands came up to mimic his, knowing he couldn't block a water attack with fire or thunder.

... And then Sakura popped up behind the enemy and brained him with a rock.

... Well then.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called from the other cliff. "What the hell happened here?"

Sasuke growled and nodded toward the blonde girl who stood a dozen feet away, half-hidden behind a boulder. "What do you think happened, genius?"

Naruto blinked and waved at the girl. "Hey, Kigane!" While Sakura efficiently hogtied and searched the ninjutsu user, Naruto stepped up toward the edge of the cliff. He gave the wet ground below a dubious look, and then he glared at Sasuke. "You coulda gotten some water while you were at it! I bet you forgot."

"... Oh, fuck you."

Naruto didn't even pay attention. With a big leap, he crossed the gap, sauntering up to the blonde bimbo. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. On the other side of the canyon, Sakura yanked a bit hard on a rope, making her prisoner moan weakly.

"You okay there, Kigane? Where are your teammates?"

She gave him a look full of anguish, with a little despair sprinkled on top, and latched onto his arm, all but cuddling it in her cleavage. Sasuke stalked toward them. The nerve of her, trying to play that card here and now...

"Beni-chan got hurt and she fell, and Jin-kun -- that big guy with the sword chased him, and I don't know where he is now, and --"

Her breath hitched; Naruto gave her a worried look and patted her hand awkwardly. "Hey, hey! It's gonna be alright. We'll go find Beni and patch her up, and -- Sasuke, did you see which way Jin went?"

Sakura landed between Sasuke and Naruto before Sasuke could make contact. She looked about as annoyed as Sasuke felt; he didn't try to push past her to yank the clingy bimbo off Naruto, since he had a feeling she intended to do just that. And Sakura did; she patted the girl's shoulder perfunctorily, and detached her from Naruto's arm via the pretense of running a quick health check on her.

"Your wrist is sprained, you shouldn't use it like that," Sakura said, expressionless, as she took hold of said wrist, unhooked the razor-wire bracelet, and felt for deeper damage underneath.

From the way Kigane grimaced, it wasn't a very gentle check, but the girl didn't complain. The way she watched Sakura, Sasuke was pretty sure the underlining 'you should also never touch him again' had gotten through.

Naruto scanned the horizon, frowning. "If that sword guy is still after Jin, he's gotta be in trouble. Sasuke, you saw which way they went--"

Sasuke pointed out the right direction. "I was down in the canyons, I didn't see much more. You can track them better than I can. You go." Naruto looked like he was going to protest, even without knowing that the kunoichi team and their hunter tended to leave tracks like a troop of rampaging bears. Sasuke frowned harder. "I need to lead Sakura to where the other girl is."

"-- Right, right." Accepting Sasuke's reasoning, Naruto patted Kigane on the shoulder, grinning at her. "Relax, I'll get him back." He was gone in a flash, running along the edge of the cliff until they lost him from view behind a clump of gnarly trees.

In unison, Sasuke and Sakura turned around to stare at the interloper. The girl beamed at them, playing with her curls nervously.

"... That's... So great of you to help us like that! But then, that's the Konoha spirit, right? You guys saved us."

Sakura gave her a narrow-eyed 'can the bullshit' glare; Sasuke noted and filed away the unexpectedly fierce expression.

"Konoha spirit, my ass. Hand over your token."

Kigane's sunny grin faltered and her shoulders slumped. "Man, you guys are harsh."

"Token," Sakura demanded, holding out her hand. "You've got three, you can spare one."

"Aw, come on..."

"Your teammate's bleeding out," Sasuke mentioned, crossing his arms, and fought not to smile, or smirk, or anything of the sort.

"Fine!" Kigane gave in with a pout. "But I don't have them, Jin was the one who kept them all. We'll give you one when Naruto-kun brings him back, how's that?"

Sasuke didn't say anything, letting Sakura decide. Her brows were furrowed, her jaw set, and he didn't remember her eyes being quite that green before, or quite that sharp.

"... Fine. Depending on how badly your teammates are hurt, I'll ask for a second token. Let's go."

Kigane looked like she wanted to protest, but in the end her worry for her teammates won and she sighed. "Alright. I think it was this way?"

Sasuke nodded absently and let the blonde go first, still watching Sakura. She stood with her hips tilted forward confidently, her fingers curled into loose fists, and she still stared at the other kunoichi with that razor-sharp suspicion that dared her to try anything. Scowling darkly, she took a step forward.

Sasuke thought he rather approved of Sakura like this, irritated and possessive and determined not to give an inch.

He was standing a little lower than her on the slope, and her bare shoulder was there, and there was no one to see, so he kissed it, and then when she blinked at him in surprise, he smiled a little bit.


*Next*

[identity profile] uminohikari.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Not really coherent right now, because I'm sick, but this was ♥

[identity profile] uminohikari.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Just a fever~ But um. I think the only reason I didn't understand parts without rereading was because of it, so..

[identity profile] trishalynn.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
He was standing a little lower than her on the slope, and her bare shoulder was there, and there was no one to see, so he kissed it, and then when she blinked at him in surprise, he smiled a little bit.

HAWT.

And since I think that Naruto's not completely convinced that the kunoichi team are sneaks, my suggestion for the Naruto and Sakura scene is that he should try and get Sakura to explain why she's really mad at him. And plus, Kyuubi's still hanging around, right? Would explain his added density. ^_^

[identity profile] trishalynn.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Are they at the "totally and completely honest with their feelings" phase of the relationship yet? Would Sakura tell Naruto she was feeling jealous? Or would she hide it under a layer of professional behavior because she is feeling anxious about being useful to Sasuke?

Man, it's hard to figure out what this Sakura would do, isn't it?

[identity profile] therhoda.livejournal.com 2008-05-10 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh man I love that last bit. Sasuke being all happy that Sakura is being bad is a great image!

[identity profile] bootoye.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
Good to see Sakura staking her claim.

I liked Sasuke's POV here. And the last part was so cute.

[identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
Man, that very last bit killed me, in a good way. ♥

(Anonymous) 2008-05-11 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Just a lurker de-lurking for a minute...

That last bit was adorable. And why do I get the feeling that Team 7 having Naruto rely on Kyuubi's instincts/help so much is gonna blow up in their faces?

As for a cute NaruSaku moment, you could have Naruto interrupt her while she's looking for something to eat. Don't want to get in-between a hungry, pregnant Sakura and food. It would give it that cute, "you totally annoy me, but I love you anyway" vibe they have.

[identity profile] rurounitriv.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
He was standing a little lower than her on the slope, and her bare shoulder was there, and there was no one to see, so he kissed it, and then when she blinked at him in surprise, he smiled a little bit.
Hee.

[identity profile] animeprincess.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
I like Apt!Sakura. She's very sensible and logical and makes Sasuke and Naruto come to heel the boys look to her for group decisions. And the subtle "No no, bad kunoichi" when the other nin snugs to Naruto for sympathy was a nice touch.

Good feel, I like the overall sense of what happened, and I understood your battle pretty well.

(Anonymous) 2008-05-11 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
"... And then Sakura popped up behind the enemy and brained him with a rock.

... Well then."

Lol. Love the speechless Sasuke. And disarming an enemy with a rock instead of a sophisticated jutsu. <3

[identity profile] sienna-maiu.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
"and he didn't remember her eyes being quite that green before, or quite that sharp."
mm, yes... lovely and then the lovely fluff. So subtle, so awesome.

"Sasuke noted and filed away the unexpectedly fierce expression"
Also love ♥ ^-^

I thought it was good and coherent, easy enough to read. The very beginning kind of threw me a bit, but that was mostly because it was not only a new scene but a journal-entry jump. It didn't take too much before it explained itself though.
However, I'm a little confused why the stone would protect him from "chakra-sensitive people", or are we supposed to assume that genins wouldn't be as powerful as Karin?

"one less you had to pry from a fellow genin's cold, dead fingers"
I loved that line.

[identity profile] sienna-maiu.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
foreshadow? *snirk* I don't tend to read so far into things :P

[identity profile] sienna-maiu.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
o rly? >.> <.<

Well that's all right and good, but I honestly don't think it's something Sasuke would over-look before potentially putting himself out in the open like that. However, since later it's implied he wouldn't really entirely mind being found... maybe that's okay.

[identity profile] white-tean.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
De-lurking just to say a big fuzzy AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwww <3 for the end!
Much love for SasuSaku getting cuddly in Naru's abscence, because you just know they're going to be a more united front in ganging up on Naruto later ^__^ Plus, Sasuke is cute, and GGrrrrrr/Take-charge Sakura rocks!!!!

[identity profile] sailor-comet.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 10:18 am (UTC)(link)
Sweet~

I really like all the character contrasts between team kunoichi and team 7. I can't concentrate at all right now to explain what I mean, but the way they have such different strategies is neat to me. |D

[identity profile] mignonne422.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 11:54 am (UTC)(link)
This was love!! Especially the shoulder kiss at the end. That was just 'awww' worthy XD
And possessive Sasuke and Sakura are WIN!

There were only two little things that really popped out at me.

A twelve feet high wall of water (should be foot, not feet)

She stood with her hips tilted forward confidently (Umm...I'm having trouble visualizing this. I'm imagining a very odd stance here. Aren't hips normally tilted or cocked to the side?)

Other than that, I thought it flowed smoothly and beautifully and was really easy to visualize. Amazing as alwasy, Asuka :)

NaruSaku scene....well, it's almost a given that Naruto would be complaining about how long Sasuke-teme is taking to do something as simple as get water and of course if he had been the one to go, he'd be back already!

Lol. Just some of that good natured, grumbling that he's prone to when he's put in odd situations. I guess Sakura could either try to inadvertantly soothe him, bop him on the head, try to make him shut up with kisses or talk about Kyuubi (Naruto could comment on the foxes ability to find the water or something).

Or say maybe Sakura feels a bit unwell or tired or something pregnancy related and naruto cuddles her/soothes her. He's good at the nurturing after all, but that's kinda touchy since they are in the middle of a battle and we wouldn't want to put her at risk.

Or Naruto could try and eat something XD Something not good for him and forgets to ask and Sakura catches him at the last minute and bops him about not paying attention to her knowledgeable lectures on flora and fauna in the area (cause she's in early mommy mode--not that she hasn't always been, lol). And then he shuts her up with a kiss. And then the bad guys come XD

And that's all I got. Lol. I hope it helps or at least prompts ideas. Good luck!
Edited 2008-05-11 11:57 (UTC)

[identity profile] sienna-maiu.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I would think that the hips cocked forward would be rather the opposite to a slouch. Just try standing with your hands on your hips for yourself, it's only a subtle shift forward from there (then you can take your arms down and get the same feeling). However... females tend to cock their torso forward, more than anything (guys too, maybe?).
About the side-cocked hip, personally I view that as more calm/casual confident, rather than the agressiveness she's feeling. The side-cock tends to fit in more with Tsunade, or canon-Sakura.

(PS- sorry to both you and askerian for butting in on your comment)

<3

[identity profile] mommyr.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
this is absolutely lovely. Often Sasu/Saku is hard to believe, because most authors tend to push him out of character to make it work. You've got Sasuke totally in character, and yet at the same time we have totally believable appreciation/attraction going on. This is a beautiful piece of writing, quite elegant the way you present the whole scene. :D I know you dislike fight scenes, but you did that one very well. n__n

[identity profile] m-a-foxfire.livejournal.com 2008-05-11 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I like Brisk!Commanding!Sakura, and Sasuke's appreciation of aforementioned Sakura.

And the overall sense of the team Kunoichi... 'dynamics' isn't the right word, but it's the closest I've got. XD

[identity profile] alien-duck.livejournal.com 2008-05-13 09:37 am (UTC)(link)
His kunai buried itself in guts to the hilt, and for a second, Sasuke thought he'd gotten the caster, but it burst into smoke as Sasuke landed. Two enemies left, and they reacted fast. A large, viciously curved sword whistled through the air where his head should have been, prompting Sasuke to throw himself down and roll through the thorny bushes. It gave the last enemy time to flit through hand seals Sasuke knew all too well. Two other clones popped into existence to replace the two he'd just destroyed.
But he only got one of them... didn't he?

Other than that it's brilliant. More please!

[identity profile] garmiet.livejournal.com 2008-05-13 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
(I review as I read.) I would’ve done this yesterday, but I had to leave. ;__;

. . . Is this related to this (http://askerian.livejournal.com/384832.html#cutid1) scene? Cuz I’m having a hard time placing the two scenes together. The “gourd” you mentioned was kind of out-of-nowhere. I didn’t know where it came from in this scene. . . . Okay, now I know what’s going on. I’m thinking that when you publish this on ff.net (or someplace else), you might want to title the scenes “Day 1, Day 2, etc.” Because it was a little confusing at first. . . . Little whoopsie: “It was a simple coin-sized disk of copper, with the Wave Country symbol . . .” Was that intentional? I thought they were in Mist Country. . . . And, uh, I’m a little confused about the “provided you’re a full team; lose a member, and it’s every man for himself at the exit.” Does that mean they can still pass without their team members? ?_? . . . . Love the paragraph, “The wandering jounin weren’t supposed to attack [. . .] at all, jounin or genin.” Sasuke always takes everything so grim, doesn’t he? ^^ Also, this reminds me of an OAV I’ve seen, only it was crystals instead of tokens. (Not a complaint; I actually like how you made it part of an exam, cuz the OAV kind of annoyed me; I like this version better.) . . . . I like the way Sasuke deals with boredom. ^^ . . . . Now that I’m into the scene, I can picture it easier. . . . Sasuke, you have no empathy. Jeez. (He sees that she’s not dying, and that’s it; move on. What a jerk. 9_9) . . . . I like the razor-wire technique. I get this really cool mental image of her using it. . . . (*snort*) Nice one, Jin, tackling the guy like that. (Love Sasuke’s private criticisms.) XD . . . . HAHA, Jin got the coin! XDD . . . . TIDAL WAVE!!! (Is that a natural wave, or did Sakura do something? She’s been learning that stuff, I think. . . .) . . . . Nope, not Sakura. . . . “. . . couldn’t block a water attack with fire or thunder.” You know, I’ve often wondered about that Water vs. Electricity. Water should conduct electricity, so Sasuke should have an advantage there. (I know there’s the Earth element in the middle, but . . . yeah, that’s my 2 cents worth.) . . . . XDDDD Good one, Sakura. . . . “You coulda gotten some water while you were at it! I bet you forgot.” . . . Da fuck was that, Naruto? õ_ô That was totally outta nowhere. (Not a complaint; it was funny, just random. ^^) . . . . I hope you’re keeping an eye on your team’s coins, Sasuke. If Naruto has one on him, Kigane’s gonna get it. . . . Clever, Sakura, doing the health-check. . . . And now it’s just Sasuke, Sakura and Kigane. Love the cute sheepish act Kigane’s putting on. =D . . . . Why’s Sakura being such a crab? And I love how Kigane’s just pouting, like it’s all a game to her! XDD . . . . Heh. “Sasuke thought he rather approved of Sakura like this . . .” Watch it, Sasuke, she could push you around a lot when she’s like this. ^^ . . . . Awww, kissy! ♥ ♥ ♥

Alright! Overall, it was a good scene. I don’t know what could happen between Naruto and Sakura before this, but I think you’re right, there should be something there. Also, a transition linking this scene to that other scene I mentioned at the top of this comment and/or headings of “Day 1,” “Day 2,” etc..
I can’t wait for the next development! ^_^ ♥

And, are you going to add anything more to Teamwork 2.5??

[identity profile] w-inds-no-unmei.livejournal.com 2008-05-16 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Yay! A Teamwork update! >_< Cool fight scene. Loved the interactions between Team Kunoichi and Team Seven. Only Naruto...thinking of collecting drinking water from an enemy's attack...lol. Can't wait until the next scene update.

[identity profile] kiyakotari.livejournal.com 2008-05-23 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, the Sakura-love. <3 <3

And I love Sasuke's little self-rationalization for the kiss, at the end. It's perfect. Almost absent-minded, like he's just doing it out of habit.

[identity profile] sara-the-lazy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I enjoyed the action in this one, as well as Sakura's med-ninjaing.

I really really liked Sasuke's little kiss though. So sweet and rare from him!

~Sara