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space mermaids -- Arun babble + pictures.
I'm not entirely happy with the anatomy there -- blue's arms look too scrawny/short somehow, and his skull is a bit strange. It's also not a very exciting pic. They're just posing. But, eh. Colors yay.
Two-tails! The first two are sort of functional models (the first one is the kind of body type that every single non-standard mermaid descendent gets the name from, even if they don't actually have legs.) but the third is really crippled. Poor guy.
o- So far kind of irrelevant to the plot... : Arun might get near-photographic memory, meaning if he sees something and tells himself he has to keep it in mind, he'll remember it in a detailed way and might even be able to draw it from memory. (he's not really an artist -- he can sketch precisely if he takes his time, but it has very little artistic/imaginative value. ) If he writes or types a sentence/paragraph/page, he will be able to quote it, including exact punctuation. (The ability was trained into him at an early age, it's not natural to him like Blue's empathy and Liadan's telepathy. It's closer to Liadan's memory for routes and trajectories and anything spoken, which is something all merpeople have on account of needing to compensate for not having the ability to write down stuff that matters.)
I'm not sure yet what good it will do to him, apart from an augmented ability to annoy the hell out of Blue with irrelevant nerdy facts. XD
o- A lot more relevant: Arun didn't actually go alone on the planet! It's too dangerous anyway, even with trained dolphins XD (I'm thinking there was supposed to have been a third person with them, but at the last moment they had to pull out. Or maybe thirdguy got injured and was sent to the other planet in this solar system that's currently being explored; they actually have a doctor up there.) Kept coming back to it and going "nah". I should have accepted it a while ago, it makes more sense for the explorers to be at least two -- possibly more but that's too bothersome. I just didn't want anyone to bother Arun and Liadan when they were bonding. But interruptions and disruptions are fun too! XD
The coworker is a 27 year old geologist who loves rocks a hella lot more than people and is quite rules and laws oriented. Her name is Krish (short for Krishna - the black one, because of her black hair. Phear my naming schemes. XD) Arun and her don't get along very well, but they can work together alright. They're both working on their doctorate.
So he was just exploring alone when he met Liadan. (He shouldn't have been but eh. Like he cares. u__u;; )
Krish is all kinds of "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE FIRST CONTACT RULES DAMN IT" when he shows her his mermaid. XD So in the end Liadan and Arun interact a lot outside of the ship, which is what I had planned anyway. That part of the story should be short enough that Krish doesn't have a lot of occasions to be bothersome.
Anyway at some point shit happens (lol ph34r my spoilers) and Arun is torn between helping Krish who looks kind of. Deadish. Or saving his own life and Liadan's. In the end he's forced to leave her behind and that tears him up, because even if he didn't like her much, they were supposed to be comrades, damn it. (they also happen to rescue Blue at that time, but that's really Liadan's fault, Arun wouldn't have gone and looked for him. XD)
So his links to the plot go from "just happens to be here", "feels environmentally conscious" and "likes Liadan" to all that plus worry for coworker, then grief, desire for justice, and thwarted desire to rescue her and/or bury her/find a way to send her body back to her parents. Which gives him a better reason to get angry enough to fight back against the evil bad guys.
And then more spoilerific Krish-related stuff happens that gives him even more of a personal interest in the process, which is yay.
Also it will add another layer to his interactions with Blue and Liadan. He likes them better than his coworker! But she was still his goddamn coworker and they were just strangers he'd met like two days ago! And Liadan's a mermaid who could have swam off whenever! And Blue's a goddamn pirate! And he LEFT HER TO DIE.
So he likes them a lot more than Krish, but the guilt, ohhhh. >3
I still have no idea what to do about the goddamn dolphins. Not sure if anyone remembers, but Arun had two of them in the first draft. They were bred and trained for obedience, to help Arun swim around and get him back up to the surface in case he was in trouble and things like that. But i'm not sure how necessary they are.
On the yes side:
-they're funny, and they lead to some cute interaction when Arun and Liadan met.
-Their existence means the space ship needs to be equipped with water tunnels that would enable Liadan to get in the ship and visit it.
-I can justify it in an Arun point of view because machines to pull him around would risk polluting the sea, and it so happens he knows those two bored dolphins back home...
On the no side:
-so far they have almost zero plot relevance (if they get to be in the plot I want them to have more importance than to be two dolphin-shaped convenient vehicles; they're living creatures damn it),
-I have no clue what happens to them once the pirates arrive and the shit hits the fan, I don't want to just dump them into hammerspace so I can get them back easily the second I need transporation for the trio,
-If I want Liadan to take a look inside the ship and have somewhere to swim, I could just flood the cargo bay, there's not a lot in there they couldn't move elsewhere, and if there is, it's probably in sealed boxes. She won't get to see the rest of the ship unless they're floating in space without gravity, but eh. Building some anticipation for her might be good.
-It feels a little like "everything and the kitchen sink" to me. I can justify the trained dolphins, sure! But when you add them to a pile that has genetically engineered mermaids, telepathy, space pirates, telepathic pirates, telepathic mermaids, beasties that look a hell of a lot like water dragons... I mean, the dolphins are cool, and I could sort of justify them. But. Maybe it's just too much for the suspension of disbelief... T__T
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And I love the pictures, although ow, no kidding about that poor last guy.
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XD Yeah, and he's not even that bad off compared to some. But he's not gonna get to have children anytime soon.
*adds dolphin stuff* ._.
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...no wait I just went and checked your tags. And will be reading up on it this weekend. Yum, I'm so excited, I get a little fiction treat after that horrible standardized test. Heh.
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♥ ^__^ there's a LOT more babble than actual story in there, and what actual story there is will need to be rewritten a LOT, fair warning.
Good luck on your test!
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And I always doodle during standardized tests, so I'm pretty sure my test booklet's going to be covered with attempts at mermaids now. I HOPE YOU FEEL PROPERLY ASHAMED FOR THE FUTURE BLINDNESS OF MY TEST PROCTOR xDD
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WIN. mermaids, mermaids~ -- oh um. I feel ashamed already!
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... It's not even the worst deformations at all. Oh so far from being the worst. Glurgh. XO
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Trained dolphins: I like that too. Have you ever read Anne McCaffery's 'Dragonriders of Pern' series? In there she has enhanced dolphins who can squeak out human words. In a world that had biologically engineered MERMAIDS, trained/enhanced dolphins would be like "Oh, so that was the prelude to the mermaids? Sweet." As for the zero plot involvement, they could be frightened off by something. I don't know how Blue ends up there, a crash of some sort? That could frighten off a dolphin with a healthy amount of self-preservation instinct. Maybe something about Liadan made them go "erk! Do not want near!" And then they can 'magically' appear again when Blue takes his next dunk: "Drowning human! Whee fun! We help? We help, SQUEE!!"
Helpful, hurtful?
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-- oh my god you gave me a bunny XDDD my brain went on overdrive at random... Like "so what did they do with the guy? send him off into space toward the next planet in a life boat or something?" ... and then I remembered they have cryogenisation. Now i kinda want to make the guy spend all the book in his freezer, only to have him wake up at the end all "so, anything interesting happened without me? u.u"
As for dolphins, yeah, I read those book, and I don't want to copy them too much, though the "dolphins trained to help swimmers" is hardly new. I like your "so that's what came before the mermaids" angle though. *ponderyponder*
But as for "arun could find them again" my problem is exactly that! With everything that's going to happen, with only two dolphins lost at sea -- the whole PLANET is water -- how are they supposed to somehow find Arun again if they get lost? Arun's not going to be staying put. He's going to take a boat, then a space shuttle, then another boat. ;__; Maybe he's got some kind of device to call them that he uses regularly but it's not going to work when they're hundreds of miles apart. So if they separate i'm scared that's going to be it, never see them again. And that would kinda suck. Also the waters aren't exactly friendly, so...
... but then they could be trained to look for humans and they'd end up at a twotails island. then arun might hear about it... Or he comes back to look for them when he's got a chance... I dunno. T_T
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I dunno too much about the plot you have going here... but.. :)
1) your main characters could be one of a larger expedition. Sort of a "Team A explores this deep sea trench with the scuba bot 9000, Team B will check out these islands and the waters immediatly surrounding them, and take biological samples. Team C will stay here and start running tests on locally collected samples." sort of thing.
In this case, there might be anywhere from three to 6 people, perhaps, on Arun's team.. though I think they would be paired up. You always dive with a partner, there's always someone on the ship monitoring, ready to send out a report of injury, accident, or failure if need be. Krishna could be Arun's partner (MOAR GUILT! he was supposed to be watching out for her...!) and the other people could be mostly backgroundyish characters.
2) the dolphins could be all omgwtf and flee... but, really... they're intelligent creatures in a strange place, brought here by humans... I would figure in most any cases they wouldn't go far from the people they were brought to help protect, unless the people were the cause of why they left. I don't think they'd be trained JUST to provide transport. By the sounds of it, they're suposed to be smart enough to help protect from other dangers as well.. So, they probably do have to care about him to some degree... and not just waltz off randomly. Maybe :)
Anyway, maybe they're scared away one day because of something bignscary in the water and end up hiding somewhere for a while. Most animals that run away and get lost don't end up treking across the world. They are generally found in the same general area. So, just because the humans don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't close by.
Also, to connect the thought of these two bored dolphins and my number 1 point: could be that each team gets a pair of dolphins to help out. it'd make sense. Heck, if you wanted to make them more important, the dolphins COULD even be members of the teams themselves. given the dangers of working in and around water, I could see required training with the dolphins to help learn basic aquatic safety and teamwork,
also: "It feels a little like "everything and the kitchen sink" to me. .... Maybe it's just too much for the suspension of disbelief... T__T"
take it easy. a lot of stories are that way. Take a look at Pern. :) Personally, if I were to eliminate a few of the random 'omgcool' features, I'd leave the dolphins, and twiddle away some of the others. Like... the near photographic memory thing.
Maybe you have answers for it already: but why was it trained into him? :) Personally, unless the plot needs it, I'd just have him have a good memory, especially when he puts his mind to it. or maybe near photographic over the short term, but it fades over time.. My husband has that sort of memory: he can study for a test, remember EVERYTHING but forget 90% of it after. :)
Not to mention, all of the talents the trio has makes their information gathering/retaining skills amazing. A bit TOO much.
Compared, the rest is easy to swallow :)
"genetically engineered mermaids, telepathy, space pirates, telepathic pirates, telepathic mermaids, beasties that look a hell of a lot like water dragons... "
generically engineered mermaids - sounds like a plot point!
Space pirates - you have space travel? You'll have pirates. If people can own ships and travel, then you'll have people out there taking advantage of it.
telepathy, telepatic pirates, telepathic mermaids - All the same thing :) if you want to dull it down a bit, use devices that make telepathy possible for the pirates. Sort of like setting up a wireless network for brains. Have the mermaids be "natural" telepaths. :)
water dragons - if the planet is nearly fully water, then there will be all shapes and sizes of creatures. google "sea dragon" :)
Sorry to ramble.. Sorry if I seem to be critisizing over much... :) But I hope you can find a few ideas nested in my thoughts and that they'll do some good
yay thank you ^^
It would make sense, but no can do, they'd find the bad guys too soon. ;__; They have another team working on a planet in the same solar system, but it's important for the characters to be on their own on the planet.
2) the problem with the dolphins is that the characters might make several trips via space shuttle. The dolphins can't track them if they're flying overheard at 300 miles/hour. Even if they hang around the area where they last saw Arun, I still don't know whether Arun will have the occasion to come back to them. And eventually they'll have to drift around to get food. They can't eat everything they find around this planet. Also, big predators etcetera...
XD I like your memory idea. Arun's supposed to be an academic guy, always liked remembering details, and his parents are both professors, so it wouldn't be strange for them to teach him stuff like that from an early age. But yah, unless it ends up plot-related, it's just a random idea for now.
all of the talents the trio has makes their information gathering/retaining skills amazing. A bit TOO much.
... XD I didn't even notice. Heh. Not sure it would be exremely useful to them... hm. yeah.
Thank you for the help. ^____^
you're welcome~
1) Concerning finding the bad guys too soon: You know your story and such better then I do, but I'll point out that a planet is a BIG place, and that even a thousand people couldn't explore it all THAT quickly. But, for all *I* know your bad guys are gianormous super intellegent jellyfish that are the size of a small continent. :D Or some sort of mysterious demoniods that will wreak havock upon the world if someone disturbs the three seals left over their final resting place, etcetc. :D
but, to adjust, then... the exploring the solar system seems like a good idea. The system has several features that make it a potentially exciting or useful place for future human habitation, and the team is here partly to scout it out and see if its' true. Thus, one (or two) teams per planet/atmosphere'd planet. :)
Perhaps one of the other planets looks to be a prime candidate for mining some sort of mineral or other resource... Another is a fine prospect for a colony... this planet might be a good one also due to the way the atmosphere reflects/retains the heat, but tends towards being a bit too warm, plus lacks enough dry land to make anything but a undersea colony plausible... however, exploration of earth's own oceans lead to scientists finding numerous cures and treatments for varied ailments... thus leading them to belive that this planet also should have a wealth of scientific and medical value also.
Maybe :)
2) True enough. Just a thought. Hmm.. if you wanted, you could give them some sort of redimentary telepathy, based off of the idea of echo location. Not so much a 'I know what you're thinking' sort of thing, but a simple 'he's there.' sort of thing. It might not even be something humans are aware of. They try to ask about echolocation and they simply respond "I see things" or "I find things" or "I find him." or something. something simple, ambiguous that you can look at later and go "OH!" at :D Have them just show up after a while after he moves, and not explain it until the end.
Have it be weaker with distance.. make the two dolphins work together to get a vague impression of Arun being 'that way' (due to distance), and have it focus into a more precise picture as they travel closer.
Maybe. I'm jsut rumbling ideas around. :D It's a nice creative excercise, even if the ideas aren't good to help you :)
I'm glad you liked the memory idea :D and that makes sence, too :D
As for information retaining.. Just figured I'd point it out:D it might not be a big help with the story, but there ya go :D
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I'm getting 'Flipper' flash backs, this is bad. The main two-legs character had an airhorn that he used under water to call flipper and there was another episode where flipper lost his memory (don't ask, maybe they were running out of material >.>;;) and got a new human who used a triangle ring to call him. Sound really travels really, really well underwater so maybe some kind of tone could be used. And the instrument got lost, but ZOMG, there it is, let's use it, and the dolphins were still near-by, or were far, heard the noise and made their way slowly closer.... your choice of course. I like the 'two-tails like our person' thing, that'd make sense
Also, you wouldn't have to make the dolphins sentient, just smarter or more human-attention dependant, like dogs are.
further, maybe during the first dive, one of the dolphins became munchy-crunchies and that's what scared the other one away, only to realize that he/she/it had abandoned his/her human, oh noes, must find way back and fix and- where was her/his human again? O-o
Good bunnies maybe?
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The coworker is a really good idea. I was kinda wondering why Arun was alone. Though two does seem rather small unless they were something of an advanced scoot or something. It is a whole planet.
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And then i'll develop a personal headcanon where they're found by a nice group of two-tails and have many cute and happy adventures with their new friends.
No baby dolphins for them, though, unless I go the mpreg dolphin route... XDWell, they're just the first envoy. XD And they were supposed to be three... but maybe even that much isn't enough. Hnn.
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Bwahahaha XD Dolphins: *emigrate en masse* u.u
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You could always try something from the dolphin's POV, that actually happens a lot in different stories. A little interlude for the view point of an animal just to spice things up.
I actually like the idea that a mermaid pod bonded with the dolphins. Them being social, playful critters, they got COMPLETELY sidetracked until something big happened near-by and 'look there's a two-legs in trouble! Must help!' ^^;; Maybe?
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With a bit of genetic modification to make it possible for them to communicate with humans directly (or heck, just a little translator-device) I could see them being full team members, (because I suspect that the estimates of them being as smart as a 2 year old are serious underestimations of dolphin intelligence). So maybe Arun and Krish are the land-side of the team, there's a couple dolphins on the sea-side of the team, and in all the chaos they get separated? The guilt for abandoning Krish, who he doesn't even like, would be even worse because he had to leave them too, and he knows there's Big Nasties in the sea which would be happy to have dolphins for a snack and the odds are good that even if they survive and he survives they'll never find each other again.
That could even be a subplot, trying to find any word of where they are or if they survive.
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I'm not sure I want them talking, but trained to respond to a lot of commands, and able to do their own basic communicating, yeah. And it would add some delicious guilt to have to leave them behind... Hmm. Depends how and when they get separated. I need to work on the plot! ~______~
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Sign Language. THere are test that show sign recognition in SHARKS, of all things. Arun could have a board with various symbols that represent various things and he could use basic symbols asking about dangerous things vs. dangerous currents vs. food, etc. Don't even need genetic manipulation! This is what dolphins are being trained and tested for right now!
Shutting up now >>;;;;;;;
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*loves on you* ♥ nooo you helped me a lot ;.;
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And as for the board, Arun can make hand signs, sure, but the dolphin is going to have to poke the appropriate symbols with his nose if Arun is going to understand what it's trying to say. Thus, the board.
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HEY ASUKA
GUESS WHAT SONG WAS STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL YESTERDAY =E
XD
Anyway, ooooh, new pic I haven't seen~ I like the shading on Arun's face there. Also thoughts on Krish are cool--again, love all the thought you put into this world/plot. And thinking on it, it does make much more sense for somebody to go exploring with partners or teammates rather than alone.
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Thank you~ ♥ yay it makes sense! u.u
Still having fun in Spain? When do you go home?
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Also, Arun's memory - Does it need to be described as something special? He seems like the sort of person who'd just pick up weird trivia from parents/teachers.
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Yeah, you're right about his memory. Hmm. I think I just wanted something a bit special to balance out Liadan and Blue, but if I'm going to make him more interesting it should be because of what he is, not what he has. Hopefully the loss of Krish and the dolphins will make him more involved.
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The dolphins would also make it feel more reasonable that there were only two humans in the team, otherwise I'd expect at least three, one on the ship and two diving. With the dolphins watching the diver you can get by with only two people.
As for them getting split off from Arun and "lost", well... shit happens. Arun can have more guilt.
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Well, I'm thinking of making the team originally three, but the last one got hurt on arrival and they had to put him in cryo and/or send him off to their support team on another planet of the same system. Arun still shouldn't have been alone but he probably figured, hey, I've got the dolphins, it's fine.
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Pose!pic: The EYES. And Blue's hair curling at the ends. ♥ And the pose says things to me like, "we're so different, but we're partners, and we know it, and we can kick your ass too." Woo, symbolism.
Dolphins:
1. They seem to reduce the everything-and-the-kitchen-sink factor for me, actually. It's like, lalala, fantastical science space opera la oh cool something real too! YAY. Ties into the science thing, grounds the story a bit more, and gives us-the-reader another connection to the characters in this way-far future setting. (Yes, we in the future use the power of internal combustion to go zipping all over the place and reduce months of travel to a single day. We also still walk, and we still eat bread. The dolphins keep the story from feeling outlandishly-advanced-science-y.)
2. Which is really just a long and convoluted way of saying that, for me at least, they help with the suspension of disbelief.
3. If you need to get rid of them, it's always possible that the attacking space pirates kill them. Because they were sentries, or could have been sentries, or might have helped Arun et al repulse the intruders, or whatever. And the destruction of innocents is a pretty good way to establish who the bad-guys are.
Somewhere in the comments, information gathering/retaining skills ... TOO much: Actually, it's more like we're lazy, since we've got the internets to look things up for us and talk to people and such, and computers to store the information, so we don't have to. Your average person today would never be able to memorize one of the Vedas, for example, though they were preserved orally for ages because the paper deteriorated too fast to make it worth using for long-term information storage. Your average person today also doesn't have the "super-strength" of the ancient Greek sailors, mostly because they don't spend 10-15 hours a day rowing, every day, from age 13 or so onwards. Now, trained near-perfect recall would be strange today, with our culture, and —
Arun's memory: — it would probably also be somewhat unusual (something to be proud of?) in Arun's culture as well, since it sounds like it operates a lot with and is therefore pretty heavily dependent on computers, which would contribute to shorter attention spans, less patience, and poorer memory like it does today, but... It would even things up somewhat. Balance things? Because Arun and Blue are both human-human (and male) and Líadan is not; and Blue and Líadan are both telepathic-y and Arun is not... so the memory thing, with the mermaids' most reliable means of permanent records being an oral tradition, would complete the triangle thus: both Arun and Líadan have near/perfect recall (at least for important things) and Blue does not.
Okay, must stop blathering now.
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Eh, now I feel odd because I suck at drawing people. If I'm being... thing. Where it doesn't really matter, but some annoying person insists on pointing out all the mistakes you already knew about, thank you. If I'm being that annoying person, just ignore me.
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^___^ Okay, okay, i'll keep the dolphins yay! At least for a while, afterwards I really don't know if Arun will find them again. At least they can survive fine... >.>
yeah, I saw his memory thing as something people just exercise a lot where he's from, but if they have computers to do it for them, they'll just naturally stup. That's like how ten years ago I knew a dozen phone numbers by heart. Now if I lose my cell phone, I'm screwed. I think it's still gonna be a good memory because he's doing academic things and has been for a while and his parents would probably have raised him with word and memory games. I see them as very "we must give our child Every Advantages so he will be a Healthy, Balanced and Concerned member of society" but that's an attitude that's common enough on their planet, they're all so "zomg we are the guardians of knowledge"... XD
Well, the link with Liadan and Arun is probably more on the "we are curious and want to know things and worry for strangers" side, whereas Blue is all "I mind my business, you mind yours" especially at first. So maybe it won't be too unbalanced... Hrrm. Still need to make sure they relate really well like that...
Thanks for the crit on the pic, I looked at it long and hard and I think that's it, the hand is too weird. ♥
sorry again it took so long to answer. I looooose. ;.;
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... and I never go to journalfen except to read fandomwank... and i never comment there... and...
... *makes journal anyway* .____.;;;
Thanks for the heads up! XD (haha, so appropriate, i just spent all night reading past harmonian and gay dumbledore wank. XDDDD)
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wankrecipesin the wank comments. ;)