Of fic tropes and TMI...

[askerian]

I'm sleep-rambly, I'm crampy, I want some good narusasu fic goddamnit, and I HAVE THE NIAGARA IN MY UNDERPANTS.

I never appreciate as much the strangeness of the blood = lube kink/trope as when I have my period.

Since it's a thick liquid, it's very slippery, yes... for maybe two minutes once it hits the air. (45.3% of statistics on the internet are exported straight from the province of Asslandia) After which it proceeds to attach/kinda-seep into the skin (okay maybe not but it feels that way), both on the umm,plug and the err,slot. look at me being bashful. >.>

And then it slowly starts to want to coagulate.

Thankfully blood will never be strong enough to stick together two stretches of whole, undamaged skin, (otherwise oh man, the fun conjointed adventures we would behold,) but it sure is going to try.

If you wanted to keep the slick feeling, you would have to constantly reapply more coats of blood as the previous ones dry. And when blood dries on your skin, it pulls a little -- not enough to hinder, but enough to feel like your skin is a little too small. I guess some guys could find it hot and not uncomfortable. People can get off on anything.

Something that bleeds enough to keep nice and slippery is either a) a poor schmuck who won't survive the encounter unless his sexbuddy has a premature ejaculation problem, b) a demon with incredibly healthy cells or 3) a woman on her period.

I know some women like having sex on their period. Yeah well, blood chafes and pulls a bit, but it's probably offset by natural secretions from the arousal, and quite a lot of people like a little pain with their pleasure anyway...

But still. Women, demons, or dead men walking.

... And then it dries. And flakes off.


i know I'm blowing it out of proportions and anal sex without lube but with some blood is actually *gasp* possible and even arousing, but stfu anyway, it wouldn't be funny if i didn't give that molehill its chance to shine. 'sides if the blood is described as kind of. more than a few drops. i'm allowed to think that's not innocent split skin but a perforated small intestine, kthxbai.


In other news, anyone male reading this better think twice about going eww. DO YOU WANT DETAILS OF MY EWW. I CAN GIVE THEM TO YOU. DETAILS ABOUT HOW I COULD BE READING THE FUTURE IN MY GODDAMN CLOTS, THEY'RE SO PRETTILY PATTERNED. HOW 'BOUT SOME PIECE OF BLOOD-SOGGY UTERUS LINING FOR YOU MY GOOD SIR. NO? OKAY.

Bitches.


In other, other news. Anyone got some narusasu/sasunaru bloodysex to rec? >_> bleeding scratches and bite marks will be accepted in lieu of hemorrhaging colons.

Rarr.

Comments

[hiza-chan.livejournal.com]

OMG LMAO!!!

Wow. I mean wow. Was not expecting that. (You'd think the niagara in your underpants would've given me a clue)

Oh jesus. Wow. heh. I just needed to comment. My period is much too painful/crampy to ever have sex while I'm on it. Increased sex drive or not. Just... damn. I never actually analyzed it like that.

Unforunately, I don't have any recs. T_T

[askerian]

>E

XDDD;;; mine always teases me with these "you'll feel better afterwards" but all it feels like is uncomfort and cramps. wahhhhh. there's no way i'd let pokey bits at my crampy bits right now. >E *chomp chomp*

... ;_______________; EVIL.

[complexphoenix.livejournal.com]

I actually have a mental image of Kisame eating Sakura out while she's menstruating, because, you know, sharks like blood and I have a huge captivity kink, but yeah. I've read (well, looked at, since I can't read Japanese except to make out a few names) Kuroageha wayyyy too many times since downloading it. X_X

[ivyadrena.livejournal.com]

Thank god I'm not the only person to think of that...

[inane-romance.livejournal.com]

...I'm sorry. I just can't help but to laugh at that. (Perhaps it was the the capslock parts.)

=D;;;?

Poor you though. Mine isn't that bad. Like, the first day is UTTER FLAILING HELL ON EARTH and then it doesn't bother me at all.

[askerian]

Yeah, yeah, mock my pain. ;____; (though it's finally calming down, THANK GOD. The cramps aren't too horrible, but the squish-squish downstairs is eww and I could do without the sore boobs. T.T)

But it's finally on its downward spiral. I hope.

[spacefragments.livejournal.com]

TMI PAR-TAY IN THIS HERE POST YAY.

hee. i tend to get pretty waterfall-like during those days too. at least the cramps go away after the first day and i don't get all, er, bitchy. xP
but clots are the worst, man. way gross.

[askerian]

I think I get more prone to UR DOIN IT WRONG fic-bitching, but that's it as mood swings go, and I already have a tendency to that anyway. XD I should compare the dates or something.

[yira-heerai.livejournal.com]

Oh god I'm having sympathy cramps just reading this D:

[askerian]

.__.; sorry?

[chrismakkuh.livejournal.com]

Well... This might make you hate me like whoa. But i've gone 9 yrs with out a period. Finally decided to go to the gyno, because my friends think i'm weird, and i was beginning to think i was dying. Well, gyno says i'm fine. Took blood to test me for polycystic ovarian syndrome, which she's pretty sure is a definate. She also said the no period thing is fine so long as there's no tissue build up. I can either correct it with reg birth control, or take a period suppression birth control. I'm thinking i'm going with the latter. Why fuck up a good thing?

[askerian]

I uhh. >_> sometmles i go six to eight months without. So I really shouldn't bitch. But I guess I'm not used to it anymore or something.

... But nine years? wow, that's a lot. As long as you're healthy though... o.o Do you know why yet?

[fatedtofall.livejournal.com]

...I have a friend who only has her period last a day.

...And you can never tell when she has it, as she never changes personality.

...I loathe her. >.>

[askerian]

Wow, nice deal. O.o

[geddian.livejournal.com]

Raise your hand if you regret ever reading this far down, have a Y chromosome, and you now will cherish it for ever and ever and ever.
*raises hand*

[askerian]

!!!!!

INTRUDER!!!

*pitchforks* >:O


hahahaha I KNEW some of the guys would look anyway. MUAHAHAHAHAHA. >D You get a bit of spongy, almost-black, kinda gelatinous-behaving uterine lining as prize. :3

[stripedpetunia.livejournal.com]

Oh, darling, the Niagara is clear.

/snarky bitch

I sympathize, though. Nothing quite like feeling like you'll NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN for like a week. And finding that your libido is on a hair-trigger at the same time. Along with the sure and certain knowledge that it'll not only go away, but come back again in no time at all. I wish you could take those period-suppressing birth control shots for more than like two years at a go. D:

Sometimes it occurs to me that I generally spend two weeks out of every four PMSing--the one before and the one during. That's half my life given over to mood swings and stomach cramps. Meep.

[askerian]

That cheapass copy, maybe. I got the real deal, and it ain't. u.u


>.>

*slinks away discreetly*

[chrismakkuh.livejournal.com]

dude... What the hell?! That shit ain't right... At all!

[animeprincess.livejournal.com]

LAWL. Omg I lub you Asuka. I lub you cause I get HORRIBLE back pain instead of cramps and I have to walk all day for my job feedin the old people. And then the bleeding. Omg ew.

... And then it dries. And flakes off. PRICELESS.

[bemysty.livejournal.com]

This reminds me I need to go to the ob gyn re: not having any. Dun wanna =_=

[(Anonymous)]

[delurk]OH. Heh.
My Brain kept trying to go 'Niagara, no, VIAGRA=NIAGARA=VIAGRA=...AAAGH DOES NOT COMPUTE DOES NOT COMPUTE ABORT FUCKING ABORT AAAAAUGH MAYDAY MAYDAY.'

Or something like that.

Sorry, no fics to rec, but I did just wake from a dream about Naruto letting himself be raped to keep Sasuke safe; tho it kinda backfired 'cause Sasuke ended up raped anyways. He DESERVES it tho, especially since I've just read through The Valley of The End. ;_; He's such a bastard.[/delurk]

[aelinasongmaker.livejournal.com]

Supposedly orgasms help with cramps, you know. I read it on the internet. I just don't know why anyone would try and do the dirty deed while bleeding from their important bits.

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

In other news, anyone male reading this better think twice about going eww. DO YOU WANT DETAILS OF MY EWW. I CAN GIVE THEM TO YOU. DETAILS ABOUT HOW I COULD BE READING THE FUTURE IN MY GODDAMN CLOTS, THEY'RE SO PRETTILY PATTERNED. HOW 'BOUT SOME PIECE OF BLOOD-SOGGY UTERUS LINING FOR YOU MY GOOD SIR. NO? OKAY.

This sentence is so weirdly beautiful. I have to keep reminding myself that English is not your first language. You totally rock.

Oh, and the fact that this post is on the same page as another post from a friend of mine who is scolding her sugar-glider because it is licking up the blood from a wound it re-opened after scratching a scab off of her shoulder is awesome.

*huggles my friends-list*

[edenfalling]

Oh god, being female can suck.

I went through several years of crazy irregular periods (ranged from 10-month gaps to 4 straight months of spotting every damn day) which doctors finally figured out was because of a hormone imbalance (though only after scaring the shit out of me by finding ovarian cysts and not telling me they were benign until a few weeks later), and I was never in my life so glad to learn that birth control pills could correct that mess.

Cramps suck. I get the impression mine are relatively mild, but I hate the hot, crampy, queasy, bloaty, 'this is not my body!' feeling. Hate, hate, hate.

It's always funny how the blood color isn't consistent. Like, sometimes it's bright red just like a wound, and sometimes it's all black and thick and clotted, and sometimes it's brown and fusty-smelling, and... You know, I'm going to stop now.

[everyheart.livejournal.com]

OMGSYMPATHY.

I [sort of] feel the same way.

Because even though I feel UTTERLY HORRIBLE/FAT/DISGUSTING/OMGRAWR when I have my period, everything suddenly seems ten times sexier.

I'm like our cat in heat.

MRRROOOWWWRRRRRR. ;D

-shot-

[-SEXES UP HER ICON- OOOH, BALTHEIR. 8D -brick'd-]

[(Anonymous)]

AWESOME icon! Baltheir is the smexy pirate pimp!

Whee! Sharing TMI!

[(Anonymous)]

*stares at the long list of replies* Wow... *pretends to be surprised* Oh, who am I kidding. My friends and I are always TMI-ing each other about our periods. I think it's part of being female. We call it "having our magic broken" since in Slayers, female sorcerers lose their magic when on their periods.

I've been told before that the more body fat you have, the more estrogen you have, and thus the more painful the cramps. Of course, this was told to me by my mother who is obsessed with making me loose weight (never mind that she needs to lose a LOT more than I do) but there might be some truth to it. Personally, I just pop an Aleve and go. Aleve is the only thing that kills my cramps from hell. Sometimes they're so bad I can't even stand.

And this is for anyone with a Y chromosome reading this. The best part about a period - actually feeling the uterine lining pass out of the body. It feels just like you wet your pants, only instead of urine there's a nice dark red glob of bloody tissue sitting on your pad. Good times.

Re: Whee! Sharing TMI!

[arinan.livejournal.com]

Hmm, see I always compared it to feeling like your innards are leaking out. Since, essentially, some of them are.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, doll... be grateful you don't have PMDD like me. Try PMSing two weeks before your period and then a week of your period. It's three weeks of cramps. (Though thankfully, no squishyness down thar)

[askerian]

PMDD? What's that?

... eeeeek. D: Indeed. *sends pettings* .__.

[askerian]

Nah. Mostly because I don't have my period every month. XD; Only when the cramping gets particularly crampy.

Ahhh, I think I like the cramps better than I'd like having mood swings. It seems pretty frightening to feel differently for purely biological reasons. D:

Oooh. And the herbal stuff really works?

My two cents

[lixz.livejournal.com]

I think that I don't have PMS (thank god for that) but I do have some horrible back pains, which kinda feel like my ovaries are trying to melt my insides. Bleh! And it feels like that for the whole duration of a period. Luckily they aren't very often, I've had gaps from four months to two years and only once was there a month in between. And reading about all these other people having irregular periods or long gaps too made me feel better about mine, I was starting to think there was something quite wrong with me.

Much love to you for that rant ♥♥♥

ouch

[(Anonymous)]

Damn, I have mine right now too ... :( So very depressing. Sometimes I get cramps, but usually just ... hip-pains, strange as that seems to write.

"DO YOU WANT DETAILS OF MY EWW. I CAN GIVE THEM TO YOU. DETAILS ABOUT HOW I COULD BE READING THE FUTURE IN MY GODDAMN CLOTS, THEY'RE SO PRETTILY PATTERNED. HOW 'BOUT SOME PIECE OF BLOOD-SOGGY UTERUS LINING FOR YOU MY GOOD SIR. NO? OKAY." XD ahahahaha. that should scare all the boys away ... and yet some still read farther? I am amazed.

sasunaru bloodysex ... nope, don't know any. Sorry. But I wouldn't mind finding some myself ...
how about creepy not-sex but ... still really effing hot? Vice by Saro on fanfiction ... chapter 6 is love. ^_^ Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2384388/1/

Boy am I long winded

[imasupermuteant.livejournal.com]

after reading all the posts I don't feel so bad about posting this so much later than the original post ^_^

THANKYOU FOR WRITING THIS!! You rock my world! Everyone else's stories make me feel so much better about the twelve hours I spent in the hospital la feburary with what they thought was an appendicitis but turned out to be middleschmirtz... that's german for something very much like pms only with more vomiting and crippling pain. They spent a few months thinking I had Pelvic Inflamitory Disease too which pissed me off because I have nothing but very very safe lesbian sex thankyouvery much! *grumbles at doctor*

*coughs* talk about TMI... anyway, thankyou for sharing your heartwarming tale of blood-soggy uterus lining. It really helps out when I want nothing more to do than run around the house screaming "I'M LEAKING!!" at the top of my lungs ^_^

<3

[kiyakotari.livejournal.com]

I always feel really, really sorry for the women who cramp and bloat and whatnot on their periods. Thanks to my little disease, all I do is bleed, and get perhaps a tad bit more...mellow...as my estrogen levels rise a bit. I cramped for about two years before I started, every month, on the dot, for two-three days, but once things started up the cramping stopped completely. My ex girlfriend had horrible periods, though.

..hmm...you seem to have opened the doors of TMI with this post, Asuka. **amused**