askerian | teamwork-flavored crack XD

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teamwork-flavored crack XD

ladyonyx was listening to me babble on about yet another stupid Teamwork-futurefic bunny where I angst the fuck out of Sasuke for no reason other than he's pretty when he cries. (said bunny will probably never be written as it is a stupid wangst-fest with no plotty justification)

And then the convo slid over to Team Seven kids.

And then -- well, apparently either Naruto rubbed off on Sasuke A LOT during these five-to-ten years, or ~~I need to lay off the crack~~ they did some sort of bizarro fusion à la DBZ, in which case what should I call him/them? Naruke? Sasuto? Whatever.

askerian: meanwhile the council is trying to discreetly prod sasuke into either divorcing his wife or taking concubines. u.u

askerian: "zhomg you're going to have nothing but bastards!! your wife cheats on you!"

"... noooo, really?"

*to Sakura* "honey, did you cheat on me with my lover?"

"what can I say, he's good in bed."

"that he is. Alright, carry on."

askerian: see, they have no problem with sasuke having a male lover on the side, as long as he has kids

askerian: but his wife! risking getting pregnant by non-uchihas! D:

*random councilman with High Hopes* "my very proper, well-raised little girl would never behave like that. She would love popping out a kid per year and twins on leap years. Also she would stay home and cook so you can go do manly stuff like getting half-killed on missions. u.u *hint hint*"

sasuke: ... >_> But would she do me with a strap-on.

council guy: ... DDDDDDDDD:
...
.................. well... she would be a very dutiful wife. u.u;;;;;;;;;;;;;

sasuke: she doesn't have enough chakra control for a lasting sexy no jutsu. No dice.

... u_____u;;;; ~~go Sasuto, go!~~

edit:

askerian: what's with this standing there gaping and waiting to be killed business

sarolynne: Yeeeeah. I was sort of hoping Ino'd do something confusing or something to help Shikamaru and Chouji at that point.

askerian: it's like "oh you did one move last chapter! now it's out turn!" and nothing happens exept the one move and people staring in disbelief at it

askerian: next chapter they get to counterattack, hopefully

askerian: it's like a ff7 battle that would SPAN CENTURIES.

askerian: let us hope there's a secret trick to defeating kakuzu (like a phoenix down, that works against undead right?), because I'm pretty sure the Konoha boys don't have as many HP points. u.u

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I still say you should write that angstfic. IT IS PRETTIFUL. but then again, I'm a sucker for killing myself with angst. >>;;;

and "Naruke" just makes me think of an uke Naruto. er. ....nevermind. 8D

ASUKA'S BRAIN, HAVE MY BABIES? 8DDDD

(I need cooler icons. honestly.)

Nah, the premises just won't work. XD I could still steal the end result to insert in another scene...

... even sooner, perhaps... *ponders*

*stares at Chuunin exam synopsis*

Asuka's brain is in no way related to Jupiter, and thus is not equipped for babies. Ours shall stay an unconsumed passion. u.u

(there is something wrong with me when I switch accounts just cause I have icons here. :/)

...THAT WORKS. 8Db

............Jupiter? The god or the planet and whut. I'm missing something somewhere. also, WOE IS ME. ;; ~~how bout sharing, then? or marriage? :DDDD?~~

I MEANT ZEUS. HE POPPED OUT BABIES FROM HIS HEAD. ALSO HIS THIGH.

ROMAN GODS ARE V. SPECIAL, YES.

OH. THE GOD. YEAH, HE DID...and raped women and kidnapped them and helped his brother kidnap his daughter and.........nevermind.

ZEUS IS GREEK. JUPITER IS ROMAN. even if they're the same thing anyways. AREN'T ROMANS CREATIVE.

lol

*cracks up* Oh dear god. Asuka for the win! *holds up score card with a 10*

*to Sakura* "honey, did you cheat on me with my lover?"

"what can I say, he's good in bed."

"that he is. Alright, carry on." XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

Am I a horrible person for wanting to be a fly on the wall in the council room while Sasuke delivers the smack-down?

Adi

Am I a horrible person for wanting to be a fly on the wall in the council room while Sasuke delivers the smack-down?

>D YOU SHALL BE. *fingers ache to write it* *alas, spoilers noez ;_;*

*subtly moves keyboard closer to fingers and opens Word document* >.>

But of course, spoilers. *sad* Damn the spoilers. Spoilers are secretly sadistic. They enjoy ruining people's fun. *is certain of this*

Adi

*has to add...*
Also she would stay home and cook so you can go do manly stuff like getting half-killed on missions So Sasuke would be about ready to kill her in about thirty seconds after marrying her, huh?

*just had mental image of Sasuke coming home and handing her over to Sakura* I got you a maid. Or something. Let's go do that mission."

*dead of laugh*

XDDDDDDD! Oh, poor girl... She, like many others, is simply not equipped to handle entering that family.

I'm sure they'd find -something- to do with her. I don't know.... target practice for the kiddies or something.

~~never said it would be a survivable something~~

"Kids, this is your victi...er, babysitter. She's here because her father is stupid and thinks if she lives here it automatically means she'll bear Uchihas. We'll be back from the mission in two weeks. See you!"

*comes back two weeks later*

You killed her the first day, didn't you?

Spawn: *innocent scowls*

I know you killed her the first day, or else there would still be people waiting outside our gates with torches. Why did you have to pick orange? No, never mind. I don't want to know. At least tell me you had the decency to get rid of the body.

Spawn: *bright fox grins*

Right, too much time with Naruto. I'm sure that ramen I smell is for you. Go eat something healthy with it.

*dead omfg*

And this is something we get to look forward to? Fuck yes! ♥

Mayyybe not formulated like that.

Him telling them to STFU and mind their own business, yeah. XD

Especially when some guy tells him that one heir isn't enough, that this one doesn't have the best genes possible anyway, and what if there's an accident?

mmmh. *__*

I figured as much. Unless Naruto figured out a 'pull-the-stick-outta-Sasuke's-ass' jutsu. XD

Sasuke getting snarky with council members is teh shiny. *__*

You know, hon, every once in a while, you make one of those posts that just makes me love you allll over again. This is one of them. XD *hugs*

But would she do me with a strap-on.... *SNICKERFITDEAD*

so this means the rest of the time you don't? ;__;

*UNLOVED*

Oh I love you 24/7 darlin! It's just that posts like this ratchet my love up another few notches. ^^ <333

OMG XD yes please!

sasuke: ... >_> But would she do me with a strap-on.
council guy: ... DDDDDDDDD:

x'DDDDDDDDDDDDDD sooo true.

*glomps*

hehe. ♥ Maybe~

sasuke: ... >_> But would she do me with a strap-on.

Aww... See? I snorted up my yoghurt because of you. ^^ Anyhow, you should TOTALLY write the angst because angst is good and it looks even BETTER on Sasuke. XD

Nah, not only does it not make sense how they GET in that situation, but it's either that or some other piece of angst, and the other piece fits better.

Maybe I'll cannibalize this bunny for more current ficcage. huhuhu.

Sasuke forcing himself to go on and stop feeling even after he's seen Naruto get all but cut in two will never not make me wibble.

I'd really love to see more councel-fic in general, cause it's like... you NEVER see them in the canon, right? But they get mentioned as like... big deal types that even the hokage has to listen to, and that's essentially all we know about them.

And also politics=v.hot.

Hee. In some way i wish there were more, too, but politics are incredibly hard to write sometimes. T_T But... well, yeah.

I would so (try to) help you write the politics. Just tell me A) what end result you want, B) how much (backstabbing, ulterior motives, double dealing) depth you want, and C) if there are any background considerations I should take into account (political atmosphere, how the ninja business is today, council-person's profiles, etc). Mind, you would be better at writing the scene, (because you are god-like) but if there is anything an acolyte could do to serve Mistress...

*rofl* I honestly almost feel sorry for that poor council guy.

>D aww, there's no reason to.

After all, he asked for it.

OMG.

Sasuke would SO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION.

Is dying here. Dying. Ded.

So you know in your 'verse how Naruto had that conversation with Kyuubi (or himself, but it was really with Kyuubi, I think) about who they would bed? I wonder what a similar conversation with Sasuke and himself would be like.

This has been a small, but well-minded attempt in giving you a plot bunny. Here, it's housetrained and everything!

XD Bah, it would be too short. Sasuke does look at people sometimes, but it never goes much farther than that. And when he has dreams and random quick fantasies, he puts them away in the "normal teenager stuff that's going to happen whether I want it or not, so, alright, it happened, now I'm ignoring it" category. He's not fun like that. XD

Seriously, he would never trust anyone not his team long enough to sleep with them. (wait, he approves of Neji's power and his reserved/arrogant attitude. But he probably wouldn't sleep with him either. XD)

But if like Naruto made him think about it? Like, Naruto was on top and trying to get him to loosen up or something?

Bah, this is where my lack of Naruto-knowledge kills me every time. I only know about Neji from your fics and some other peoples' so his personality and disposition isn't cemented in my head like Naruto's is.

Heh. ^__^ Sasuke would be all "why do you want me to think of other people when i'm with you?"

...Then of course naruto would be "to check if you're a human being, of course" and then they'd have a fight. XDDD

Sasuke really doesn't socialize a lot. XD

... he'd totally have sex with Kakashi.

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teamwork-flavored crack XD

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Politics=teh smex

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