askerian | (teamwork2) chapter 6, scene 3 (complete-ish?)

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(teamwork2) chapter 6, scene 3 (complete-ish?)

Not sure everything is smooth enough, or the characterizations work, or the motives and undercurrents are clear enough.

And once again, I am staring at my draft and wondering what scene comes next. Oh well. (hopefully nejiiii because I want to write neeeeeji. but hnnn. i still don't know for sure what happens in the neji scene apart from some "oopsie, sorry about last time", sadly. Hrrrm. But team 7 still has stuff to talk out, argh.)

For the previous bits, hit the tag and scroll down~

"They're pretty good, aren't they?"

Sakura blinked at Naruto, still chewing on her onigiri, and nodded vigorously. On her other side, Sasuke made a face.

"Gimme a bit, pretty-please Sakura-chaan?"

"You have sandwiches," Sasuke groused.

Naruto huffed at him, but the bastard was looking away. "So? I can share my sandwiches too. Even if they're a bit old now," he muttered sulkily.

Sakura giggled softly and held out the rice ball in front of him. Naruto grinned widely at her and bit down.

"Mmh. Good good. But why d'you always make them with fish, Sasuke?"

"Because I like fish, and I'm not cooking for you," Sasuke grunted back.

Naruto wanted to take Sakura's hand; he hadn't had any occasion to be close to her since yesterday, what with the host politely informing them that the dining hall would close in fifteen minutes, Kakashi-sensei's presence in the bedroom, and then a morning spent delivering the rest of the missives. But the second they'd left the town to go back to Konoha, she had started walking beside Sasuke; and Sasuke hadn't tried to widen the gap between them when it ended up much more narrow than their usual. Sometimes their arms or shoulders bumped, and Naruto wondered, vaguely grumpy, why they didn't hold hands already. It wasn't as if Kakashi-sensei turned around to check on them all that often.

Sakura was walking with Sasuke, not with him, and he thought that she probably needed it. Besides if Naruto claimed her first, Sasuke would never get the hint. Not that he seemed to be getting it now; Naruto had followed them for a hour now and the stupid bastard still hadn't made a move on Sakura-chan.

Unless you counted not moving away, which by Sasuke standards was probably a big one. Naruto wasn't sure if he should be glad or annoyed at Sakura's lack of boldness.

Oh well! He was tired of walking behind them anyway. And she had fed him, and she hadn't fed Sasuke. So there. Though the mental picture of anyone hand-feeding Sasuke... Hahaha.

"What's so funny, dead-last?"

"Your hair look like a bird's ass." And now, with the hair and the hand-feeding, Naruto was wondering what he'd look like as a duckling. So of course he just had to quack at him. Everything was better with sound effects.

Sakura groaned, and Sasuke sneered at him. "How old are you again?"

"Same as you," Naruto retorted, and stuck his tongue out.

Bickering was good; it was such an old habit that he didn't have to think at all. So he bickered, with Sasuke, and with Sakura when she finally joined in. And it was fun and comfortable and he could stuff the silly romantic tension aside and forget it.

"I can't move in with you just yet."

Naruto stared at Sakura, dismayed. Now he could forget the fun bickering too. Sasuke didn't look all that pleased by the unexpected news either.

"You changed your mind? Why?" Sasuke asked, scowling.

She sighed, gave him a brave little smile, and then glanced at Naruto too, before shrugging and staring ahead. "I really want to, but... The apartment is not magically going to get any bigger."

"But I thought you'd be moving in today, or tomorrow," Naruto retorted, waving his arms in protest. He was aware that he was whining, but damn it, he didn't care! "I miss you too -- uh." Oh, wait. Officially, he didn't know about that, right? Unless she had heard him, but -- but.

She caught his hand, and squeezed it gently. "Thank you, Naruto."

...oh. He only remembered to squeeze back when she started to let go, and blushed a little as he caught the embarrassed, pleased look on her face. She was happy he missed her! That was good enough to forget about her announcement. Well, almost.

"We'll look for a temporary apartment when we get there," Sakura continued, giving them questioning looks.

"Alright!" Naruto grinned back.

"If you don't mind moving so soon, Sasuke-kun..."

Sasuke was scowling at the ground, and only shrugged. "I don't care. So long as it has enough space for three futons."

"And it's got a room for you to lock yourself in," Naruto added, rolling his eyes. Sasuke would be totally impossible to live with if he had nowhere to bolt to.

Sasuke glared at him. "I can deal with that if it isn't for the long run."

"Yeah, but we still don't know what to do 'bout getting a real home, so who knows how long it's gonna last?"

"It's stupid to waste money on a large apartment if it's not good enough to raise a child in it," Sasuke countered, scowling even more.

Naruto rolled his eyes again. "You're obsessed about money. Sure, what we've got now is gonna run out, but that's why people work; to make more."

"And you're totally irresponsible!"

A polite cough interrupted them. Sakura and Naruto reddened, and Sasuke cringed; they had forgotten that Kakashi was walking ahead. They hadn't started loud, but Kakashi's senses were uncanny as it was, and there was no way he had missed the conversation.

"Ah, sorry, sensei," Sakura apologized with a wince. Naruto scratched his neck, embarrassed, and waited for the 'we are on a mission, put your relationship on hold, already' reminder.

Instead, Kakashi shrugged, glanced at them over his shoulder, and commented casually, "Doesn't the Uchiha compound have many empty houses?"

...Oh, duh.

Sakura and Naruto looked at each other, then at Sasuke. He was scowling at the ground; Naruto opened his mouth to ask what he was brooding about now, but Sakura shushed him.

"Um, Sasuke-kun..."

"And I have been lookout for the last hour," Kakashi announced cheerily, and slowed down, forcing them to spread out. "Sasuke! Your turn. Naruto, you take the rear. Sakura, do the fifth chakra control exercise, now."

Naruto would have protested more, but seeing how fast and how quietly Sasuke sped up to take point, he decided to stay silent. Damn that Sasuke. For his birthday, Naruto would get him a t-shirt that read 'Warning: Minefield ahead'.

It was hard to stay annoyed with the way Sakura had squeezed his hand quickly before letting go, anyway.

Besides, when he was last in the line, he got to ogle their butts.

... Not Kakashi's. Eurgh.

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For his birthday, Naruto would get him a t-shirt that read 'Warning: Minefield ahead'.

XD Ain't that the truth.

It was hard to stay annoyed with the way Sakura had squeezed his hand quickly before letting go, anyway.

Besides, when he was last in the line, he got to ogle their butts.

... Not Kakashi's. Eurgh.

SO Naruto, that. XD

*volunteers to do the Kakashi butt ogling for him* ;)

Asuka-san, you got that song stuck in my head with that cut tag. :(

muahahaha. "Oh the road agaaaain, agaain, oooh~"

^o^ ♥

Who wouldn't want to move into the compound where his entire family was massacred? Really, such a silly boy -_-;

Sakura reads as IC (and Kakashi too, yeah, that'd be the way he'd drop into the conversation), and Sasuke could be shot right out of the mold from the manga. Naruto seems perhaps a bit too...calculating is not the right word. Too thoughtful? Mind you, it's hard to judge how a mature Naruto would act (15 isn't really mature). He's not the stupid airhead too many people portray him as (thankyouthankyouthankyou for writing the Guidelines on How Not To Make Naruto Stupid and Sugar High). But I think he tends to act and talk before thinking, trusting his gut and his on-the-ball instincts rather than thought. And - where the fangirls get it wrong- those guts are often quite correct, and serve as a good moral compass, even if logic is something a bit foreign to him. Pondering boundaries and Sasuke's and Sakura's relationship seems a bit too cogitative for him. Oh, I could see him do it from time to time, because he has to feel the pitfalls of a threesome as much as Sakura and Sasuke can reason them out, but this is quite a few chapters where he thinks about it, and it comes down to 'kiss her stupid' a lot of the time ^_^ Which is what Mr Minefield probably should do but doesn't want to hear ^_^ Still, most of his POV is so downright Naruto-ish, it's almost scary.

Can I watch Kakashi's butt for Naruto then?

yeah, I know, but can't be the only one of them who's all "roses and sunshines! i never doubt or anything!" but it's hard to convey that it's what he feels and not what he thinks; he tends not to dwell on stuff like that even if it makes it to his conscious mind. I'll try to reword it so it doesn't seem too "Naruto the psychologist", but. hnnn.

or hey, maybe i can have it so he thinks that sasuke should have made a move before and that's why he's hitting on sakura now. *ponderyponder*

You may. :p

Naruto comes with bright side installed.

heh. ^^

...I really like this. The characters all seem very IC to me, and it's not like we can't all figure out that Sasuke is going through some rough stuff right now, especially with the mention on the house. ::wince:: That had to suck. It's logical, but omg it sucks. Poor Sasuke. The others all seemed just perfect to me, and I love the way you got Kakashi to just jump right in on the conversation. So him.

##^_______^## *squishlove*

Ah Sasuke...he's so repressed, poor boy. I'm thinking maybe it'll have to be Sakura who makes the first move at this rate.

Your Naruto-voice is great! I wish I could do POV's so well, but I always end up either switching perspectives or reverting to that distanced narrator gig.

Besides, when he was last in the line, he got to ogle their butts.

Well, the boy has his priorities straight, that's for sure. XD

I guess that Kakashi has voiced what Sasuke's conscious already knows (after all he did not burn down the whole compound right?)
So now Sasuke needs to realise that living arrangements are available.

OOh, I second des_butterfly's comment... let inner Sakura take over. I can't remember seeing her since Teamwork, but she might know just what Team7 needs to get together !!

I love Teamwork!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Naruto! teamwork! *fangirls* I really like the light tone of this part. Naruto always seems to make everything seem nice and cheerful, even if it doesn't go his way. if i didn't know better, i'd say it was Uke-vision, but nope, that's Sasuke's part. X3

i really like how Naruto gets certain parts of the relationship, and not other parts. he's the happiest puppy in this pile, for sure.

Unless you counted not moving away, which by Sasuke standards was probably a big one.

Quite true. Sakura still has some figuring out to do regarding how to interact with Sasuke.

Naruto's voice is good in this one. And it's nice to see the others balancing him out - even if only in small ways, like Sasuke reminding him that they shouldn't waste money that they don't have.

Kakashi has me a little confused here. Of all of them, he should understand the minefield that is Sasuke when dealing with the Uchiha compound (which reminds me: the T-shirt comment was priceless). Sasuke's house was the emotional lynchpin, but somehow I don't think Sasuke would be very enthusiastic to live in the compound at all. Think back on what a nightmare it must have been, running down those streets in the middle of the night, bodies of people you know - knew - and blood everywhere, and constantly wondering what the hell is going on, wondering if the attacker will be around the next corner.

Sasuke's house was the worst - he learned that Itachi was the killer, his parents were dead, he got his first taste of Itachi's mind-fucking talents. But that wouldn't make running through the streets any less traumatic.

Sasuke would probably be fine inside the houses - no memories linked there - but all it would take would be coming down that street late at night with the moon out, and he'd be courting a flashback.

IMHO, of course.

Inner Sakura does need to have some playtime. I'm looking forward to the next time we get Sakura's point of view. And... I'll admit it, I'm still waiting for Naruto to screw up somehow. There was the incident with checking the seal and Sakura, but it got sorted out so quickly that it was hard to follow what was going on - and the misunderstanding was largely on Sakura's part anyway.

He wouldn't be very enthusiastic, no, but. There are undercurrents there between Kakashi and Sasuke that I can't really transcribe accurately. ~__~ It's not like Naruto to magically notice, when neither of them is giving off any clues. (though i could always add a Look between Kakashi and Sasuke. XD)

Don't really want to make Naruto fuck up massively just so I can say "Look, I Am Keeping the Balance, They All Fucked Up In Turn". It has to happen naturally, or not at all. Besides I'm not sure there's any space for him to do that in this chapter. So far all the scenes i've written for this chapter are "reacting to previous stuff" and not "things that need to happen for The Plot". I don't want it to end up even bigger than the previous one. ~____~;;;

They're going to remodel the compound quite a bit in the end, so he should be safer from flashbacks than he currently is. Right now there's really not much of a choice, though.

... oh hey i could start the next scene post-narusasu argument. *ponders* but then naruto should GET that sasuke isn't going to jump on the idea of moving there any second now, so he probably wouldn't push... *pondering*

Er, I didn't mean to say that "Naruto needs to screw up too, so we have balance!" It's just that Naruto has been doing so well, thus far, that I have this feeling of Impending DOOM (TM) hanging over my head whilst I read. :-P Of course, you could claim that the whole Teamwork setting was sparked off by one massive screw-up on Naruto's part.

Plus there's the little fact that Naruto lives something of a charmed life. Everything works out - eventually. Even if only by accident.

Regarding Kakashi and Sasuke... Heh, they practically have telepathy at times. (Thinking back to Teamwork and Kakashi's 'assistance' in their escape.) It's okay to leave that unspoken, and Look-free. :-P

...would say more (you know me, always have a comment handy), but I have a friend's senior presentation to watch...

For his birthday, Naruto would get him a t-shirt that read 'Warning: Minefield ahead'.

It's a good joke, but I don't think they have mines in the Naruto world, because Kishimoto doesn't put in warfare technology. They have refridgerators, radios, and televisions, but no guns or cars or airplanes or whatnot.

The mental image of someone hand feeding Mr. Duckbutt... XD

heh, good suggestion. i'll use explosive tags instead. XD

Lovely

O! and I ran across this the other day, apparently there was this author-person called 'Saki,' and it made me think, ooooo saki-chan, so I figured I would give you the link (its a page of quotations) to look at
http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Saki

-comes out of lurkyhole-

Heeeeeeey, Duckysuke~! Wanna tomato? XD

Just to say: I really love your writing, both style and plot. Teamwork made me lurve this threesome. I'm really amazed by your ability to keep them all in character so well. You've really got Sasuke and his big-bad-emo self down to a pat. I'm glad that you've done Naruto this way also. Most people don't seem to get that he's not all sunshine and oreos, 'cause he's hurting inside too. But he's a very optimistic person, and learns to make everything better. (Pssssst, by teh way...you converted me over to seme!Naruto-ism. :3 ) And Sakura's the normal girl amongst the freaks. She tries to put up with them, at least.

Aaah, Kakashi's evil by bringing that up. That's like a slap to the face! >:O Ugly-butt man...

...Am I the only one who doesn't get the Minefield joke?! :O -ish stupid-

-caves in upon self in face of all the peoples, slinks back to hole silently-

Emotional minefeild, careful where you step, you don't always know what will set him off, what looks like a "Coast is clear!" might not be so innocent...

Oh, why...thank you...-embarrassed- (Eep, I've made a fool of myself)

Don't worry, lotsa people make fools of themselves. Some make it a profession. Look at politicians! (If anyone happens to be a politician, oops)

Kureru-san! *hugs*

*sigh* I just checked one of my older pages/profiles...I haven't updated it in _months_. I saw a bunch of old quotes and inside jokes, layouts, people, etc. ... my heart was hurting. *:(*...wow...I'm so emo...*blah*

Anyway, I needed a pick-me-up, so I started doing happier things: checking mail, updating my profile, checking for updates, etc. I so hoped you had updated...and you did! *cheers happily* An awesome "Teamwork " update and a hot-ass picture too! *drools*

I loved this scene. Lots of interaction and introspection, very in-character, and somehow both "squee-worthy" and "*cringe*-worthy" all at once. I love Kakashi [and I too volunteer to "watch his back" *~.^*] and his interactions with his team. *^.^* I loved your portrayal of Naruto and Sakura especially, just because so many people fall into these exaggerated characterization traps and then you have the "I only care about Sasuke, 24/7, no one and nothing else ever!"-Sakura and the "I am Optimistic Dumb-Ass #1"-Naruto...you haven't, thus far, and you're an awesome author, but no one is perfect. And so, I commend you on your awesome update, and your awesome portrayal of these awesome characters.

*rereads post*...*picks up dictionary*...*grumbles while reading* people are just gonna start ignoring my posts, I know it...*runs off to continue being emo*

Ja ne!

~ Monique ~

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(teamwork2) chapter 6, scene 3 (complete-ish?)

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Minefeild

Re: Minefeild

Re: Minefeild

Cause being Emo is the cool thing to do...~.~

(teamwork2) chapter 6, scene 3 (complete-ish?)

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Minefeild

Re: Minefeild

Re: Minefeild

Cause being Emo is the cool thing to do...*~.~*

Cause being Emo is the cool thing to do...~.~