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(teamwork) chapter 5, last scene.
Like. last scene. Like. the scene that comes last. Like. end of the chapter omg whoa.
I already posted a part of this before (the evil one) and the rest is mostly filling in holes and transitioning, so it probably sucks a bit compared to the rest. But so long as it works, ehh. Might still tweak it later, it hasn't been betaed, if you see anything that needs fixing, plz tell me and all that.
my god. it's done.
He walked alongside his teammates for two blocks, and then let them continue on. He didn't want to be groped by Ino again, he said; they heard, "I want to be alone," and let him go.
He ignored the worry in their eyes. He couldn't take it now; he had a mission.
The solution was so evident now; and if he hadn't been trying to pretend that it didn't exist...
Well. One problem. One. But that was alright. One thing at a time.
One thing. Meaning, not the dinner. The dinner had gone fine.
... It had gone, at least. It had been... edible. Sakura's mother cooked well.
"How do you plan on supporting your family?"
She could have been in a better mood, though it hadn't ended too badly. Sakura's father --
Sasuke slipped in the shadows and put on a burst of speed. Faster than the eye could see -- he probably didn't have a tail, but you never knew.
Sakura's father had been polite, formal -- visibly trying to accept, for Sakura's sake, her desire to live with two men. Even if he didn't get it.
Her mother quite visibly resented Naruto for existing, and Sasuke for allowing Naruto to push himself into what would have been a perfect match and turning it into something her daughter was going to be scorned about; something dirty, perverted.
Sakura might want Sasuke, but she would never be happy even if she caught him for herself; he didn't have it in him to make anyone happy. No one understood how much they needed Naruto to be there, how essential he was; how without him Sasuke would just make Sakura miserable, and Sakura would just take it and keep hoping for something he couldn't give.
"Where are you planning on living?"
Together. They planned on living together; that was the most important thing. "Where" didn't matter so much.
Besides, Naruto was right; soon they'd be Chuunins. More money, better places.
"What if you don't all make Chuunin?"
They'd make do; they'd try again next time. It wouldn't be forever.
It hadn't convinced Yukihiro any more than it convinced Sasuke. The man hadn't needed to say anything for Sasuke to hear; "this is not good enough."
Sasuke vaulted over a fence, leaped to the closest tree -- ran up the trunk, kicking off when gravity started calling him back; landed in a crouch on moonlight-colored tiles, and looked down at the wall sprawling along the next avenue.
On the surface, the dinner had gone ... not alright, but okay -- no huge, irreconcilable arguments, no yelled insults, no "It's them or us!" Even with Sakura being nervous and doing her best -- too much -- to smooth everything out, Naruto being way too grinning and friendly -- also nervous -- and Sasuke himself falling back on perfect manners that made it look, if he read Sakura's mother right, like he was looking down on them for being a bunch of low-class.
...Okay, so it had been something of a low-scale, stealth disaster.
That was in the past now. The present...
He dropped down the side of the house, walked down to the gate, and then reached up to tear off the yellow police tape. And walked inside, letting it flutter to the ground behind him.
The worst was that nothing had changed at all. Everything was exactly as it had been that night -- except from the blinding absence of the corpses and the puddles of blood, but he could remember them so well that it didn't make much of a difference.
There was more dust, true, and grass poking through the pavement, but ... But. No one had closed this half-open door, no one had righted that overturned display -- not even him, the one who could have. Should have.
Hadn't.
But -- later. Not right now. Right now, he couldn't. If he allowed himself to get sidetracked now, he would never reach his goal.
The sound of his steps rang between the houses; he refused to hurry up; hearing the echo of his run in these empty streets was asking for a flashback.
He pushed away the aching familiarity, tried to see the district as critically as he could. Left without upkeep for so many years, the houses were in a sad state. He could see cracked plaster, broken windows, doors stuck in place as the wood swelled with humidity. But the basic construction was generally sound, and most of the buildings would only need a bit of work to be livable again.
There were more and more people moving into Konoha these days, attracted by the growing success and influence of the Village, and if he looked around, maybe he could find people who wouldn't care about what had happened there ten years ago. And if he had regular tenants -- say, four, five families at least -- for houses of such quality, his children would never need to worry about going hungry.
Maybe the echo of new voices would banish the memories. Maybe with other vendors calling to passersby and other grandmas chattering on the square and other children playing in the streets ...
Maybe his own children...
He stopped in his tracks, looking up at the wall marked with his clan's fan -- with the kunai mark still right in the middle -- then turned and stared at the door of his home long and hard before his hand rose to push it open.
His children would play in this street, and run through this door -- dragging toys behind them as they walked out, swinging school bags around as they came back -- his children would...
His children would...
... he couldn't. He couldn't see them here. He could only see the door his father had held open for him when he'd been too small to do it on his own, and the kitchen window through which his mother had waved to him everyday, and the hall -- where he'd greeted his big brother -- the gallery where he'd stubbed his toes so many times -- the sliding doors that made that neat noise when snapping closed, and open, and closed, snap! woosh-snap! Sasuke! Will you stop that? And his father's office, forbidden, fascinating territory -- the corridor that led to his bedroom, and the other door -- his little hand raised to knock softly -- 'tachi, there's something in my closet ...
He couldn't. He couldn't. He could see nothing but his past in here. Nothing but his pain. As hard as he tried, he couldn't see Naruto napping, sprawled against the ancient, gnarled tree by the little pond, or Sakura walking barefoot under the shade of the galleries. He couldn't see any children but him -- him and Itachi -- and he'd thought he'd decided not to let his past hold him back anymore, but it wasn't as easy as that. Tolerating the Uchiha district again was one thing, so long as he did all he could to make it look different -- paint the houses, plant bushes and trees, knock down a few walls maybe -- but no amount of redecorating would change this place where he'd lived since birth enough to separate it from his memories. No amount of varnish would hide the outlines of two bodies in the dojo, and the dark stains in the wood planks.
He had to -- his teammates-- his family -- they needed a place to live, a place big enough for all of them, and why make it so complicated when it was so simple? He owned the house already, they didn't have to spend any money, they just had to move in, that was the perfect solution -- but he couldn't.
He had to, and he couldn't. He wasn't even able to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for himself, not even for his future wife, not even for his lover, for their unborn child, for his new family. He was so fucking selfish, and even his disgust at his own weakness didn't change a thing. There was just no way he could, and that was it.
It was dark; it didn't matter. Slowly, so slowly, he stepped inside -- unable to help the ingrained habit to pause and take off his sandals -- started walking down the hall -- to the kitchen, he made himself go to the kitchen not to go to his parents' bedroom first; of course there was nothing of importance there, nothing he wanted to keep. The laundry room was the same -- he'd hidden behind that big porcelain sink, had poked at the drying sheets, puzzled by their heaviness; his mother had smiled, sometimes even laughed, clear and high and so pure -- the corridor was empty but for the paintings on the walls. No sentimental value to these; he took down a few scrolls with beautiful calligraphies and rolled them up, sticking them under his arm -- even water-stained, maybe they would be worth something -- he was stalling again, of course.
He didn't want anything from his bedroom, and nothing in the world would make him step inside his brother's. His father's study looked less imposing -- Sasuke had grown up; the magic was gone. The magic, and that man so serious, so stern, so reserved -- he opened the drawers quickly, efficiently, going through the room in the precise search pattern they'd been taught in class. There were no papers he wanted, except for medical info and the Uchiha clan register -- a long, heavy scroll with gold tassels that joined the paintings under his arm. Inadvertently, he knocked a picture frame face down on the desk, and didn't bother righting it up. A scroll on advanced Katon jutsus found its way in his belt pouch. Then that was it.
The dojo -- no. No way in hell. Not even if piles of gold and riches were inside.
What else could he want? Clothes? No. Furniture? Hell no. Knickknacks? Unnecessary. Weapons? He had enough of his own, and his parents had never bothered to put money into bejeweled swords or intricate blades when a plain, simple kunai did the work. As for their Konoha headbands, they'd been buried with them.
With measured steps -- he wasn't going to run out -- he walked toward the exit, calmly stepping back into his sandals, walked out in the garden -- Sakura had said she wanted a pond, but that one was full of green stuff and stank with dead fish and mud -- crossed through the dried beds of flowers, and dumped his findings by the far wall.
Then he turned back to face the house -- home -- and didn't let his sight blur as he shaped the seals for the first major jutsu he had ever performed.
As the fire roared through the house, he could hear his father -- as expected, you are my son... -- and his home burned, and the gallery on which he'd sat at Itachi's side -- of course I'm sure that Father loves you, little brother -- blackened, and the windows -- welcome home, Sasuke-chan! So, what did you learn today? -- exploded, and the roof -- hey, how goes, bratling? Is your brother in? -- caved in -- Sasuke-chan? Where are you? --and he could see nothing -- surprise! So, who's a big boy today? -- but fire and smoke and destruction -- hurry up, little brother, or I'll go without you -- as he blew more and more power into the blaze, and the smoke was harsh and he had to close his eyes and pour even more chakra into the jutsu -- it wasn't enough, he could still see -- he could still remember -- and the smoke stung so much, stung his eyes and scratched at his throat -- he couldn't breathe ...
And there were arms around him, strong arms, and a large, solid chest against his back, and he could breathe again, in big, gulping gasps, and soft hands slid behind his nape and pressed his face against a tender neck. He clung to her, hiding in her arms, knowing that the man at his back would keep on clinging to him.
They didn't try to talk, and for that he was grateful. He didn't want to explode or to break down for a misinterpreted word. He just wanted their presences. He didn't want to have either of them remark on the way the smoke choked him and stung his eyes, because he knew that then it would cease to be smoke and become something infinitely more shameful. If he let go of even an inch more, he'd break, and he wasn't sure he would be able to put himself back together again. So he stayed there, sitting on Naruto's lap and Sakura straddling his own, not caring about the way he'd ended in that position, and he held onto them and they held onto him and finally, finally the past let go.
"Well," Naruto said -- and in his voice there was nothing but his normal good cheer, a hint of stifled laughter, "if you tell us where we can find water here, Sakura can test her new Suiton jutsu."
Sasuke blinked against her skin, feeling his damp eyelashes brush her neck, making her shiver, and they both turned to look at Naruto quizzically. He was grinning, just a touch softer than he usually did -- the light of the fire made his hair look like it was burning -- and Sasuke was grateful that he was going to pretend things were okay; maybe Sakura would follow his lead. He didn't want to talk about his feelings, now or ever.
"Why?" she asked, her fingers still playing absently with the strands of hair at Sasuke's nape.
"To stop it before it spreads to the whole district, of course."
And Naruto was grinning so widely, and seemed to find it such a grand joke, that Sasuke almost forgot to jump on his feet and hurry off to put out the blaze.
By the time they'd gotten it under control, they were dirty with soot from head to toes, and frazzled. When the firemen noticed the smoke and came to investigate, the three of them were sitting in the garden, on the edge of a great charred pile, and laughing themselves breathless for no reason at all.
For the record, Sakura's Suiton jutsu was only slightly more efficient than throwing water with an old, empty flowerpot. But seeing as she'd gotten the water for it from the half-dried pond, maybe that wasn't so surprising.
The firemen let them help a bit, but only because there were also cops to keep an eye on them; and the second they were sure the fire was under control, the trio was briskly herded down the streets. Sasuke didn't really care what the cops did, or listen to what they said to them; Naruto's arm was around his shoulders and Sakura's around his waist, holding him up, and if that made him look like he was drunk, well, whatever.
The harsh white ceiling lights of the police station were blinding after the dying fires. Sasuke realized absently that he would have to buy Naruto another shirt; his nice one was full of burned holes. And Sakura had sooty lines smeared over her face.
And he also realized that the cops hadn't recognized him before, in the dark; now that they were inside the station, the angry muttering that he'd been tuning out shone by its absence.
"Well, I'll be... Sasuke-kun?"
He looked up, blinking dazedly at the grizzled old man peering at him.
"... You won't remember me, it's been too long, but -- ah. Come on, the three of you. No, no, Matsuda, it's alright, I'll handle it."
Sasuke followed where Naruto guided, and sat down when Naruto dragged him down on a bench at his side. Sakura took place on his other side, perched at the edge of the bench. She looked nervous; it was hard to care about anything, but he still nudged her with his knee. Naruto was a solid presence at his side, which was good because he was listing a little.
"...alcohol? Drugs?"
"No, sir, just, uh, stress..."
Sasuke opened his eyes, straightened up -- he'd almost blacked out, he couldn't let himself slip -- and met the cop's eyes.
"I'm sober. It was just... time for some spring cleaning."
The police officer looked horribly understanding; pitying, even, but by then Sasuke had rebuilt enough of his control to smother any emotional reaction that tried to arise past his exhaustion.
"... I see."
The cop didn't ask him anything else, questioning Sakura and Naruto instead. The two idiots didn't want to inculpate him, and kept mumbling and glancing at each other.
"They weren't there," he grumbled, stopping them. "They came later." Idiots really should know that he'd get more leeway than either of them, just on account of that guy having worked with his clan before the... Before.
He didn't really listen to the rest of the explanation; he just listened to their voices, eyes closed.
He ended up getting what amounted to a slap on the wrist. A slightly expensive slap on the wrist, but all the same, nothing like what it could have been. He would get a fine for arson and reckless endangerment -- though these charges were nothing like what he could have faced if the house had been anywhere but in the middle of an empty, walled-off district -- and that was it. He didn't much care, really.
They weren't done with all the legalities before dawn, and by then the three of them were so exhausted that they didn't even try walking home just yet. By wordless agreement, Naruto and Sakura found a bench in a street off the main avenue and sat him down; his head ended up on Sakura's shoulder. Naruto disappeared; Sasuke didn't know how long. Sakura's hand was in his hair again. So much for the hair gel.
When Naruto came back, he held pastries. Sasuke hadn't known it was that late. Or early. The pastries were warm. Sakura, too, warm and soft, and Naruto, warmer and harder. He wanted to push them away, to extract himself and get up and tell them that he was alright and they didn't need to coddle him. But they were still not saying anything, so he decided that he could wait five minutes. And five minutes longer. And maybe a little more.
Then there were steps running down the avenue, light and swift -- blonde ponytail trailing behind a girl -- he pushed himself off the bench just as Sakura gasped, "Ino!" By the time the other girl had heard and backtracked to their street, he was standing a few feet away with his arms crossed; and when she joined them he had his expression under control again.
Naruto was sitting on the edge of the bench, as if he was contemplating reaching out and grabbing him, but thankfully he didn't; Ino distracted him by coming to a stop in front of the bench, hands on her hips. Still panting lightly, she gave Sakura a reproachful look. "Geeze, forehead-girl, I was waiting up for you! You weren't at your parents' being a good girl, you weren't at Sasuke's getting laid!"
Huffing, she plopped down on the bench, in the spot Sasuke had vacated. Naruto winced as he scooted aside to give her some space; Ino stared at him with suddenly round eyes. "Oops, did I interrupt necking time?"
Sasuke heard Sakura groan behind him; he was turned away, though, and didn't see her expression.
"We were just... talking."
Ino snickered. "Oh, I see. 'We were just... um... TALKING.' Sure, real convincing here. I know I'm convinced."
Sasuke gritted his teeth.
Behind him, Naruto sighed. "Oi, Ino, mind not tap-dancing on the ruined moment?"
"... Oops."
There were a few shuffling sounds, presumably accompanied of sheepish looks, eyerollings and/or shrugs, and then the interloper got back up on her feet. "I think I'll go back home now... Sakura, what are you doing now?"
Sasuke turned back to look at his teammates. Sakura was giving him a questioning look.
"Well, it depends," she muttered, still looking at him in askance.
Sasuke shrugged, working on not frowning at her. "I'm going back to the apartment to sleep now." He just wanted to stop feeling empty and cold, and he had abused their willingness to tolerate his weakness for too long.
"Yeah, I'll be going too," Naruto added with a yawn, and picked a few crumbs of pastries from his clothes. He had changed them, Sasuke noticed now; he was wearing a t-shirt that had probably belonged to some cop. So long as Ino didn't think to ask about it...
Sakura sighed softly, and then turned to Ino, who was waiting a few steps away, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Guess I'll go back with you, Ino-pig."
"Okay. Well, um... Goodnight, Naruto, Sasuke," Ino replied with a sheepish smile. "And sorry for interrupting..."
Sasuke's eyes slid over her. "See you tomorrow, Sakura," he commented as he passed his teammates, and walked off. He heard a few more whispered exchanges behind him, and then Naruto caught up.
The blond didn't try to hold his hand or anything too familiar, but he bumped into his shoulder a lot. Sasuke pretended not to notice.
He just wanted to go to bed. Sleep. Hopefully not dream. He climbed the stairs mechanically, stepped in the shower to get rid of the soot and mud -- it didn't get rid of the heaviness weighting his limbs down -- and then went to his bedroom, not even bothering to turn on the light as he dragged himself to his bed.
He sat at the edge, fell on his back, and stared at the ceiling.
Well... now he didn't even have a house for the three of them anymore. And he didn't really like the idea of moving in another apartment. But -- he might as well save as much money as possible. That implied to start sharing the rent three ways instead of two as soon as they could. It implied...
... god, he just wanted to stop thinking for a minute.
"Hey."
He lifted his head and looked up; Naruto was standing just outside the door.
"What do you want?"
"Oi, do I have to want something? Maybe I was just walking by and my feet got tired. And hey! Doorjamb to prop me up."
The tone didn't fit the words; it wasn't teasing or defensive. It was kind of amused, but neutral too; as neutral as Naruto got.
At least the blond wasn't stupid enough to try to sound soothing. The day Sasuke needed soothing from Naruto of all people... He let that thought trail off before he had to remind himself of recent events. Posturing was too much work at the moment.
"... Naruto..." Sasuke sighed, giving him a weary look.
"It was open," Naruto replied, more quietly.
Sasuke closed his eyes, his head falling back on the covers, as he considered explaining to Naruto that forgetting to close his door didn't actually imply an invitation to invade his space, or the fact that he wanted Naruto in there. Because he didn't.
"It was open," he finally admitted softly.
The mattress dipped under Naruto's weight; his knee bumped into Sasuke's as he swung it lazily. Sasuke frowned faintly, opening his eyes again to glance up at his teammate. Naruto wasn't sitting too close, and he wasn't even looking toward Sasuke; leaning back on his hands, he was contemplating the ceiling.
"I got an idea."
"Did it hurt?"
Naruto flashed him a quick grin. "Oh yeah, honey, but it was the good kind of pain -- kidding, kidding."
Sasuke rolled his eyes; more because it was the minimal reaction Naruto expected from him than anything else. "What about?"
"Not about the money -- we'll just have to make Chuunin. And we so totally will."
Sasuke snorted, smirked faintly at his stubborn look. "Me, maybe. You..." He paused, shook his head. "What was your grand idea about? How to scam people out of their fortunes?"
"Nah, it's not about the money or where we're gonna live or all that shit -- we'll find a way, really. No, it's more important."
Naruto let himself fall back on the mattress, laying down at Sasuke's side, and crossed his hands behind his head with false casualness. Sasuke frowned at him and wondered why he wasn't just blurting it out.
"It's about the baby."
Sasuke pushed himself up on his elbows to stare down at the blond. Naruto was looking up at him, unnervingly serious.
He could, Sasuke realized dazedly; Naruto really could fix it, save the child and Sakura. Or he thought he could, anyway. For a second, Sasuke hated Naruto blindingly, for giving him hope when Sasuke had been so utterly trapped, already surrendered to the knowledge that it was out of his hands.
But this was Naruto; hope against all odds was pretty much his trademark.
"... Talk," Sasuke rasped out; hope stirring under the apathy.
Naruto talked.
Naruto's ideas, Sasuke had learned over the course of the last five years, were sometimes very idiotic, for the very obvious reason that sane people didn't DO that. At any other time, Sasuke would have said no on principle, after the first sentence; it sounded... utterly demented. Besides, it would rest mostly on Naruto's shoulders, and Sasuke didn't really like thinking that his role would be minimal.
Though -- Naruto's "idea" would need a serious amount of refining and smoothing down rough edges, and he wasn't going to do it himself. Thoughtful, Sasuke grunted an acknowledgement when Naruto finally fell silent, already starting to think about the problems he could see.
"... So?"
It was crazy. It would be complicated, and dangerous, and if the Council caught them in the act, they would definitely be unhappy with the three of them.
But by god, he was tired of sitting on his ass and letting outside forces roll him around.
"Why not," he said. "I'll start the research."
He wasn't done pushing himself up when Naruto dragged him down on the mattress. The blond rolled on his side, throwing an arm across Sasuke's chest, pinning him down. "Tomorrow, Sasuke."
Sasuke growled wearily. "Naruto--"
Naruto's arm wouldn't budge.
"Let's get some sleep first. I swear it will keep. Alright?
The window was gilded with pink and gold. In the bedroom, it was still dark; dark enough that he could pretend he couldn't see Naruto, if he wanted to.
Sasuke closed his eyes; listened to Naruto breathe. He was quiet and steady, warm and just so there.
"... Alright. Tomorrow."
I already posted a part of this before (the evil one) and the rest is mostly filling in holes and transitioning, so it probably sucks a bit compared to the rest. But so long as it works, ehh. Might still tweak it later, it hasn't been betaed, if you see anything that needs fixing, plz tell me and all that.
my god. it's done.
He walked alongside his teammates for two blocks, and then let them continue on. He didn't want to be groped by Ino again, he said; they heard, "I want to be alone," and let him go.
He ignored the worry in their eyes. He couldn't take it now; he had a mission.
The solution was so evident now; and if he hadn't been trying to pretend that it didn't exist...
Well. One problem. One. But that was alright. One thing at a time.
One thing. Meaning, not the dinner. The dinner had gone fine.
... It had gone, at least. It had been... edible. Sakura's mother cooked well.
"How do you plan on supporting your family?"
She could have been in a better mood, though it hadn't ended too badly. Sakura's father --
Sasuke slipped in the shadows and put on a burst of speed. Faster than the eye could see -- he probably didn't have a tail, but you never knew.
Sakura's father had been polite, formal -- visibly trying to accept, for Sakura's sake, her desire to live with two men. Even if he didn't get it.
Her mother quite visibly resented Naruto for existing, and Sasuke for allowing Naruto to push himself into what would have been a perfect match and turning it into something her daughter was going to be scorned about; something dirty, perverted.
Sakura might want Sasuke, but she would never be happy even if she caught him for herself; he didn't have it in him to make anyone happy. No one understood how much they needed Naruto to be there, how essential he was; how without him Sasuke would just make Sakura miserable, and Sakura would just take it and keep hoping for something he couldn't give.
"Where are you planning on living?"
Together. They planned on living together; that was the most important thing. "Where" didn't matter so much.
Besides, Naruto was right; soon they'd be Chuunins. More money, better places.
"What if you don't all make Chuunin?"
They'd make do; they'd try again next time. It wouldn't be forever.
It hadn't convinced Yukihiro any more than it convinced Sasuke. The man hadn't needed to say anything for Sasuke to hear; "this is not good enough."
Sasuke vaulted over a fence, leaped to the closest tree -- ran up the trunk, kicking off when gravity started calling him back; landed in a crouch on moonlight-colored tiles, and looked down at the wall sprawling along the next avenue.
On the surface, the dinner had gone ... not alright, but okay -- no huge, irreconcilable arguments, no yelled insults, no "It's them or us!" Even with Sakura being nervous and doing her best -- too much -- to smooth everything out, Naruto being way too grinning and friendly -- also nervous -- and Sasuke himself falling back on perfect manners that made it look, if he read Sakura's mother right, like he was looking down on them for being a bunch of low-class.
...Okay, so it had been something of a low-scale, stealth disaster.
That was in the past now. The present...
He dropped down the side of the house, walked down to the gate, and then reached up to tear off the yellow police tape. And walked inside, letting it flutter to the ground behind him.
The worst was that nothing had changed at all. Everything was exactly as it had been that night -- except from the blinding absence of the corpses and the puddles of blood, but he could remember them so well that it didn't make much of a difference.
There was more dust, true, and grass poking through the pavement, but ... But. No one had closed this half-open door, no one had righted that overturned display -- not even him, the one who could have. Should have.
Hadn't.
But -- later. Not right now. Right now, he couldn't. If he allowed himself to get sidetracked now, he would never reach his goal.
The sound of his steps rang between the houses; he refused to hurry up; hearing the echo of his run in these empty streets was asking for a flashback.
He pushed away the aching familiarity, tried to see the district as critically as he could. Left without upkeep for so many years, the houses were in a sad state. He could see cracked plaster, broken windows, doors stuck in place as the wood swelled with humidity. But the basic construction was generally sound, and most of the buildings would only need a bit of work to be livable again.
There were more and more people moving into Konoha these days, attracted by the growing success and influence of the Village, and if he looked around, maybe he could find people who wouldn't care about what had happened there ten years ago. And if he had regular tenants -- say, four, five families at least -- for houses of such quality, his children would never need to worry about going hungry.
Maybe the echo of new voices would banish the memories. Maybe with other vendors calling to passersby and other grandmas chattering on the square and other children playing in the streets ...
Maybe his own children...
He stopped in his tracks, looking up at the wall marked with his clan's fan -- with the kunai mark still right in the middle -- then turned and stared at the door of his home long and hard before his hand rose to push it open.
His children would play in this street, and run through this door -- dragging toys behind them as they walked out, swinging school bags around as they came back -- his children would...
His children would...
... he couldn't. He couldn't see them here. He could only see the door his father had held open for him when he'd been too small to do it on his own, and the kitchen window through which his mother had waved to him everyday, and the hall -- where he'd greeted his big brother -- the gallery where he'd stubbed his toes so many times -- the sliding doors that made that neat noise when snapping closed, and open, and closed, snap! woosh-snap! Sasuke! Will you stop that? And his father's office, forbidden, fascinating territory -- the corridor that led to his bedroom, and the other door -- his little hand raised to knock softly -- 'tachi, there's something in my closet ...
He couldn't. He couldn't. He could see nothing but his past in here. Nothing but his pain. As hard as he tried, he couldn't see Naruto napping, sprawled against the ancient, gnarled tree by the little pond, or Sakura walking barefoot under the shade of the galleries. He couldn't see any children but him -- him and Itachi -- and he'd thought he'd decided not to let his past hold him back anymore, but it wasn't as easy as that. Tolerating the Uchiha district again was one thing, so long as he did all he could to make it look different -- paint the houses, plant bushes and trees, knock down a few walls maybe -- but no amount of redecorating would change this place where he'd lived since birth enough to separate it from his memories. No amount of varnish would hide the outlines of two bodies in the dojo, and the dark stains in the wood planks.
He had to -- his teammates-- his family -- they needed a place to live, a place big enough for all of them, and why make it so complicated when it was so simple? He owned the house already, they didn't have to spend any money, they just had to move in, that was the perfect solution -- but he couldn't.
He had to, and he couldn't. He wasn't even able to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for himself, not even for his future wife, not even for his lover, for their unborn child, for his new family. He was so fucking selfish, and even his disgust at his own weakness didn't change a thing. There was just no way he could, and that was it.
It was dark; it didn't matter. Slowly, so slowly, he stepped inside -- unable to help the ingrained habit to pause and take off his sandals -- started walking down the hall -- to the kitchen, he made himself go to the kitchen not to go to his parents' bedroom first; of course there was nothing of importance there, nothing he wanted to keep. The laundry room was the same -- he'd hidden behind that big porcelain sink, had poked at the drying sheets, puzzled by their heaviness; his mother had smiled, sometimes even laughed, clear and high and so pure -- the corridor was empty but for the paintings on the walls. No sentimental value to these; he took down a few scrolls with beautiful calligraphies and rolled them up, sticking them under his arm -- even water-stained, maybe they would be worth something -- he was stalling again, of course.
He didn't want anything from his bedroom, and nothing in the world would make him step inside his brother's. His father's study looked less imposing -- Sasuke had grown up; the magic was gone. The magic, and that man so serious, so stern, so reserved -- he opened the drawers quickly, efficiently, going through the room in the precise search pattern they'd been taught in class. There were no papers he wanted, except for medical info and the Uchiha clan register -- a long, heavy scroll with gold tassels that joined the paintings under his arm. Inadvertently, he knocked a picture frame face down on the desk, and didn't bother righting it up. A scroll on advanced Katon jutsus found its way in his belt pouch. Then that was it.
The dojo -- no. No way in hell. Not even if piles of gold and riches were inside.
What else could he want? Clothes? No. Furniture? Hell no. Knickknacks? Unnecessary. Weapons? He had enough of his own, and his parents had never bothered to put money into bejeweled swords or intricate blades when a plain, simple kunai did the work. As for their Konoha headbands, they'd been buried with them.
With measured steps -- he wasn't going to run out -- he walked toward the exit, calmly stepping back into his sandals, walked out in the garden -- Sakura had said she wanted a pond, but that one was full of green stuff and stank with dead fish and mud -- crossed through the dried beds of flowers, and dumped his findings by the far wall.
Then he turned back to face the house -- home -- and didn't let his sight blur as he shaped the seals for the first major jutsu he had ever performed.
As the fire roared through the house, he could hear his father -- as expected, you are my son... -- and his home burned, and the gallery on which he'd sat at Itachi's side -- of course I'm sure that Father loves you, little brother -- blackened, and the windows -- welcome home, Sasuke-chan! So, what did you learn today? -- exploded, and the roof -- hey, how goes, bratling? Is your brother in? -- caved in -- Sasuke-chan? Where are you? --and he could see nothing -- surprise! So, who's a big boy today? -- but fire and smoke and destruction -- hurry up, little brother, or I'll go without you -- as he blew more and more power into the blaze, and the smoke was harsh and he had to close his eyes and pour even more chakra into the jutsu -- it wasn't enough, he could still see -- he could still remember -- and the smoke stung so much, stung his eyes and scratched at his throat -- he couldn't breathe ...
And there were arms around him, strong arms, and a large, solid chest against his back, and he could breathe again, in big, gulping gasps, and soft hands slid behind his nape and pressed his face against a tender neck. He clung to her, hiding in her arms, knowing that the man at his back would keep on clinging to him.
They didn't try to talk, and for that he was grateful. He didn't want to explode or to break down for a misinterpreted word. He just wanted their presences. He didn't want to have either of them remark on the way the smoke choked him and stung his eyes, because he knew that then it would cease to be smoke and become something infinitely more shameful. If he let go of even an inch more, he'd break, and he wasn't sure he would be able to put himself back together again. So he stayed there, sitting on Naruto's lap and Sakura straddling his own, not caring about the way he'd ended in that position, and he held onto them and they held onto him and finally, finally the past let go.
"Well," Naruto said -- and in his voice there was nothing but his normal good cheer, a hint of stifled laughter, "if you tell us where we can find water here, Sakura can test her new Suiton jutsu."
Sasuke blinked against her skin, feeling his damp eyelashes brush her neck, making her shiver, and they both turned to look at Naruto quizzically. He was grinning, just a touch softer than he usually did -- the light of the fire made his hair look like it was burning -- and Sasuke was grateful that he was going to pretend things were okay; maybe Sakura would follow his lead. He didn't want to talk about his feelings, now or ever.
"Why?" she asked, her fingers still playing absently with the strands of hair at Sasuke's nape.
"To stop it before it spreads to the whole district, of course."
And Naruto was grinning so widely, and seemed to find it such a grand joke, that Sasuke almost forgot to jump on his feet and hurry off to put out the blaze.
By the time they'd gotten it under control, they were dirty with soot from head to toes, and frazzled. When the firemen noticed the smoke and came to investigate, the three of them were sitting in the garden, on the edge of a great charred pile, and laughing themselves breathless for no reason at all.
For the record, Sakura's Suiton jutsu was only slightly more efficient than throwing water with an old, empty flowerpot. But seeing as she'd gotten the water for it from the half-dried pond, maybe that wasn't so surprising.
The firemen let them help a bit, but only because there were also cops to keep an eye on them; and the second they were sure the fire was under control, the trio was briskly herded down the streets. Sasuke didn't really care what the cops did, or listen to what they said to them; Naruto's arm was around his shoulders and Sakura's around his waist, holding him up, and if that made him look like he was drunk, well, whatever.
The harsh white ceiling lights of the police station were blinding after the dying fires. Sasuke realized absently that he would have to buy Naruto another shirt; his nice one was full of burned holes. And Sakura had sooty lines smeared over her face.
And he also realized that the cops hadn't recognized him before, in the dark; now that they were inside the station, the angry muttering that he'd been tuning out shone by its absence.
"Well, I'll be... Sasuke-kun?"
He looked up, blinking dazedly at the grizzled old man peering at him.
"... You won't remember me, it's been too long, but -- ah. Come on, the three of you. No, no, Matsuda, it's alright, I'll handle it."
Sasuke followed where Naruto guided, and sat down when Naruto dragged him down on a bench at his side. Sakura took place on his other side, perched at the edge of the bench. She looked nervous; it was hard to care about anything, but he still nudged her with his knee. Naruto was a solid presence at his side, which was good because he was listing a little.
"...alcohol? Drugs?"
"No, sir, just, uh, stress..."
Sasuke opened his eyes, straightened up -- he'd almost blacked out, he couldn't let himself slip -- and met the cop's eyes.
"I'm sober. It was just... time for some spring cleaning."
The police officer looked horribly understanding; pitying, even, but by then Sasuke had rebuilt enough of his control to smother any emotional reaction that tried to arise past his exhaustion.
"... I see."
The cop didn't ask him anything else, questioning Sakura and Naruto instead. The two idiots didn't want to inculpate him, and kept mumbling and glancing at each other.
"They weren't there," he grumbled, stopping them. "They came later." Idiots really should know that he'd get more leeway than either of them, just on account of that guy having worked with his clan before the... Before.
He didn't really listen to the rest of the explanation; he just listened to their voices, eyes closed.
He ended up getting what amounted to a slap on the wrist. A slightly expensive slap on the wrist, but all the same, nothing like what it could have been. He would get a fine for arson and reckless endangerment -- though these charges were nothing like what he could have faced if the house had been anywhere but in the middle of an empty, walled-off district -- and that was it. He didn't much care, really.
They weren't done with all the legalities before dawn, and by then the three of them were so exhausted that they didn't even try walking home just yet. By wordless agreement, Naruto and Sakura found a bench in a street off the main avenue and sat him down; his head ended up on Sakura's shoulder. Naruto disappeared; Sasuke didn't know how long. Sakura's hand was in his hair again. So much for the hair gel.
When Naruto came back, he held pastries. Sasuke hadn't known it was that late. Or early. The pastries were warm. Sakura, too, warm and soft, and Naruto, warmer and harder. He wanted to push them away, to extract himself and get up and tell them that he was alright and they didn't need to coddle him. But they were still not saying anything, so he decided that he could wait five minutes. And five minutes longer. And maybe a little more.
Then there were steps running down the avenue, light and swift -- blonde ponytail trailing behind a girl -- he pushed himself off the bench just as Sakura gasped, "Ino!" By the time the other girl had heard and backtracked to their street, he was standing a few feet away with his arms crossed; and when she joined them he had his expression under control again.
Naruto was sitting on the edge of the bench, as if he was contemplating reaching out and grabbing him, but thankfully he didn't; Ino distracted him by coming to a stop in front of the bench, hands on her hips. Still panting lightly, she gave Sakura a reproachful look. "Geeze, forehead-girl, I was waiting up for you! You weren't at your parents' being a good girl, you weren't at Sasuke's getting laid!"
Huffing, she plopped down on the bench, in the spot Sasuke had vacated. Naruto winced as he scooted aside to give her some space; Ino stared at him with suddenly round eyes. "Oops, did I interrupt necking time?"
Sasuke heard Sakura groan behind him; he was turned away, though, and didn't see her expression.
"We were just... talking."
Ino snickered. "Oh, I see. 'We were just... um... TALKING.' Sure, real convincing here. I know I'm convinced."
Sasuke gritted his teeth.
Behind him, Naruto sighed. "Oi, Ino, mind not tap-dancing on the ruined moment?"
"... Oops."
There were a few shuffling sounds, presumably accompanied of sheepish looks, eyerollings and/or shrugs, and then the interloper got back up on her feet. "I think I'll go back home now... Sakura, what are you doing now?"
Sasuke turned back to look at his teammates. Sakura was giving him a questioning look.
"Well, it depends," she muttered, still looking at him in askance.
Sasuke shrugged, working on not frowning at her. "I'm going back to the apartment to sleep now." He just wanted to stop feeling empty and cold, and he had abused their willingness to tolerate his weakness for too long.
"Yeah, I'll be going too," Naruto added with a yawn, and picked a few crumbs of pastries from his clothes. He had changed them, Sasuke noticed now; he was wearing a t-shirt that had probably belonged to some cop. So long as Ino didn't think to ask about it...
Sakura sighed softly, and then turned to Ino, who was waiting a few steps away, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Guess I'll go back with you, Ino-pig."
"Okay. Well, um... Goodnight, Naruto, Sasuke," Ino replied with a sheepish smile. "And sorry for interrupting..."
Sasuke's eyes slid over her. "See you tomorrow, Sakura," he commented as he passed his teammates, and walked off. He heard a few more whispered exchanges behind him, and then Naruto caught up.
The blond didn't try to hold his hand or anything too familiar, but he bumped into his shoulder a lot. Sasuke pretended not to notice.
He just wanted to go to bed. Sleep. Hopefully not dream. He climbed the stairs mechanically, stepped in the shower to get rid of the soot and mud -- it didn't get rid of the heaviness weighting his limbs down -- and then went to his bedroom, not even bothering to turn on the light as he dragged himself to his bed.
He sat at the edge, fell on his back, and stared at the ceiling.
Well... now he didn't even have a house for the three of them anymore. And he didn't really like the idea of moving in another apartment. But -- he might as well save as much money as possible. That implied to start sharing the rent three ways instead of two as soon as they could. It implied...
... god, he just wanted to stop thinking for a minute.
"Hey."
He lifted his head and looked up; Naruto was standing just outside the door.
"What do you want?"
"Oi, do I have to want something? Maybe I was just walking by and my feet got tired. And hey! Doorjamb to prop me up."
The tone didn't fit the words; it wasn't teasing or defensive. It was kind of amused, but neutral too; as neutral as Naruto got.
At least the blond wasn't stupid enough to try to sound soothing. The day Sasuke needed soothing from Naruto of all people... He let that thought trail off before he had to remind himself of recent events. Posturing was too much work at the moment.
"... Naruto..." Sasuke sighed, giving him a weary look.
"It was open," Naruto replied, more quietly.
Sasuke closed his eyes, his head falling back on the covers, as he considered explaining to Naruto that forgetting to close his door didn't actually imply an invitation to invade his space, or the fact that he wanted Naruto in there. Because he didn't.
"It was open," he finally admitted softly.
The mattress dipped under Naruto's weight; his knee bumped into Sasuke's as he swung it lazily. Sasuke frowned faintly, opening his eyes again to glance up at his teammate. Naruto wasn't sitting too close, and he wasn't even looking toward Sasuke; leaning back on his hands, he was contemplating the ceiling.
"I got an idea."
"Did it hurt?"
Naruto flashed him a quick grin. "Oh yeah, honey, but it was the good kind of pain -- kidding, kidding."
Sasuke rolled his eyes; more because it was the minimal reaction Naruto expected from him than anything else. "What about?"
"Not about the money -- we'll just have to make Chuunin. And we so totally will."
Sasuke snorted, smirked faintly at his stubborn look. "Me, maybe. You..." He paused, shook his head. "What was your grand idea about? How to scam people out of their fortunes?"
"Nah, it's not about the money or where we're gonna live or all that shit -- we'll find a way, really. No, it's more important."
Naruto let himself fall back on the mattress, laying down at Sasuke's side, and crossed his hands behind his head with false casualness. Sasuke frowned at him and wondered why he wasn't just blurting it out.
"It's about the baby."
Sasuke pushed himself up on his elbows to stare down at the blond. Naruto was looking up at him, unnervingly serious.
He could, Sasuke realized dazedly; Naruto really could fix it, save the child and Sakura. Or he thought he could, anyway. For a second, Sasuke hated Naruto blindingly, for giving him hope when Sasuke had been so utterly trapped, already surrendered to the knowledge that it was out of his hands.
But this was Naruto; hope against all odds was pretty much his trademark.
"... Talk," Sasuke rasped out; hope stirring under the apathy.
Naruto talked.
Naruto's ideas, Sasuke had learned over the course of the last five years, were sometimes very idiotic, for the very obvious reason that sane people didn't DO that. At any other time, Sasuke would have said no on principle, after the first sentence; it sounded... utterly demented. Besides, it would rest mostly on Naruto's shoulders, and Sasuke didn't really like thinking that his role would be minimal.
Though -- Naruto's "idea" would need a serious amount of refining and smoothing down rough edges, and he wasn't going to do it himself. Thoughtful, Sasuke grunted an acknowledgement when Naruto finally fell silent, already starting to think about the problems he could see.
"... So?"
It was crazy. It would be complicated, and dangerous, and if the Council caught them in the act, they would definitely be unhappy with the three of them.
But by god, he was tired of sitting on his ass and letting outside forces roll him around.
"Why not," he said. "I'll start the research."
He wasn't done pushing himself up when Naruto dragged him down on the mattress. The blond rolled on his side, throwing an arm across Sasuke's chest, pinning him down. "Tomorrow, Sasuke."
Sasuke growled wearily. "Naruto--"
Naruto's arm wouldn't budge.
"Let's get some sleep first. I swear it will keep. Alright?
The window was gilded with pink and gold. In the bedroom, it was still dark; dark enough that he could pretend he couldn't see Naruto, if he wanted to.
Sasuke closed his eyes; listened to Naruto breathe. He was quiet and steady, warm and just so there.
"... Alright. Tomorrow."
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*loves on*
... does anyone have a mop?
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score!!oh noes!Sasuke is always fun to watch breaking down. huhuhuhuhu.
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There's no word, precisely, for how you make me feel for Sasuke. It's not pity, nor is it contempt, or anything. it's just emopathy. (X3 yay, new word)
he's sad and angry and needing a new start and has to get rid of the old and it's slightly crazed and jeezus he needs Naruto to just TOP HIM ALREADY.
Jesus Tapdancing Christ and the Twelve Fabulous Apostles, Asuka, you WIN.
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... EMOPATHY. oh wow, that is so perfectly perfect. XD It's like emo that actually works. I should icon it. With sasuke's face of course. It would be fantabulously cracktastic.
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cookies! *puts them in a box to gaze at lovingly* I could never eat sasuke!
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Oh lord I love you, and I love Sasuke to bits and more than anything I'm adoring Naruto for being so awesomely him. ^^
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I love that Sasuke was even willing to consider moving back into the estate. Hopefully, he'll get some closure from all this. Eeee, I want to know what they're planning! ;__;
I noticed a missing quote where Naruto's telling him to get some sleep.
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oops. *fixes quote in main file... and not in here cause whee lazy XD maybe later* thanks ^^
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... Ahh, who am I kidding? So totally worth it.
Thank you very much for an incredible chapter, and Sasuke's breakdown, which was not nearly as ostentatious as it could have been, and therefore perfect.
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score again, w00t!♥ thank you, very much appreciated ^__________^no subject
The angst and the burning and the emoness and the Team 7 love showing up in force again and the Naruto being an adult for a bit and CUDDLES EEEEEE! *^^*
Naruto and Sakura seem to have finally figured Sasuke out; now he just needs to figure himself out and grow up, and he's STARTING to and YAY. And now I wanna know what Naruto's planning (you've been PLOTTING *gasp*)
and I thought you said they would just move into one of the other houses in the Uchiha compound after the grand conflagration.*explodes of happy just for you*
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*chews* mmm. ♥
and zomg you're spoiling i'm never gonna tell you anything ever again you big meanie how dare you.*wipes splodeded bits off the walls*
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I cried a bit with Sasuke burning down his house. And my ot3 shipper was so happy with Sakura and Naruto holding him. Casue he needed to be held.
Okay, I liked this line:
He wasn't done pushing himself up when Naruto dragged him down on the mattress. The blond rolled on his side, throwing an arm across Sasuke's chest, pinning him down. "Tomorrow, Sasuke."
I wish I could draw it. It's a very nice image.
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ohoho, someone else cried. three points!♥
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(Anonymous) 2006-03-16 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)*Breathes* Sasuke not being able to imagine Naruto in the tree and Sakura walking barefoot brings a wonderful, blurred, and elegant image to mind. That this whole chapter ends with the beginning of a new day (And it isn't forced on you with 'Look, the new day is beginning. Looklooklook!') is...really nice. And I liked how you tied in the colors of the dawn with Naruto and Sakura. Reallyreally liked.
The whole scene of remembering his life, trying to make it again, but not being able to, is really heart-wrenching and full of pushed-down emotion. Now that that major event has been gotten over with, I actually feel much happier - it isn't the end, but the whole process of...whatever is beginning.
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Relatives.
The figure turned, it's loose outer clothing making not a sound even when the bottom of the floor was brushed whilst his eyes slid to the other occupant within the room. Red eyes flattened and narrowed even as the formerly silent breathing increased in volume for a moment. Finally, the figure moved from the place in which it had been standing, hands reaching down to lift the small bundle before finally a whisper escaped. "Hello, my nephew."
The black haired child stirred not at all, still resting peacefully.
Re: Relatives.
Re: Relatives.
Re: Relatives.
Re: Relatives.
Re: Relatives.
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And Naruto and Sakura just being there for him, and knowing not to talk about it or to try to get him to talk was just wonderful. That's what makes the team and the trio work here.
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Indeed. XDDDDD ♥
*cuddlelicks*
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"I got an idea."
"Did it hurt?"
Once again. Ah, boys.
Yay, more drama! <3
Oh Sakura, why did you have to go back to Ino's place? Why couldn't you go with the boys? Ok, they're probably all (except Naruto) waaay too tired for sex right now. But they could have morning sex!
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Sakura couldn't come with them because they would have all slept in the same bed and been cute, and naruto wouldn't have talked with sasuke right there which would have meant another scene, and once again I chose laziness and evilplot over potential for sex. ;3
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Ton Sasuke est tellement..Sasuke. XD
J'adore cette scene, franchement... Les souvenirs de Sasuke quand il brûle tout, Naruto à la fin..*__*
...en fait, je trouve que t'écris de mieux en mieux ♥ (oui, c'est possible. T'étais déjà au top avant mais là..^^)
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You made me so amazingly happy with your update. :D:D I hadn't checked your posts in a while, so I actually got the read the dinner part immediately before this one. I have to say that I really adored just about everything. I didn't cry - but then, I don't cry easily from stories, I'm an angst whore XD;; - but I did enjoy it immensely. You so brightened my day and now I'm nuts with curioisity over Naruto's plan.
I mean, it's a plan made by Naruto. And Sasuke actually agreed to it. My mind's warping with the possibilities. :D
Somehow, the sheer absence of Kyuubi is making me suspicious. I keep waiting for his presence to show up again, dramatically. Also, I'll join the masses and say that the presence of Sasuke's Sharingan made me wibble with happiness. Just about the only suggestion I could make would be to work on plot clarity and to extrapolate more, but I know you slaved over this chapter so I'll keep my whines to a minimum. XD
As always, I love your Sasuke to itty bitty pieces. You always write him just as I see him, and Naruto's so wonderfully subtle - which a lot of authors miss - and you're the author that made me go, "Hell, yeah, Sakura!" I wasn't terribly fond of her until the imfamous hair cutting scene, and shortly after reading that part I read Teamwork, so... Yeah, I was a goner. XD;;
Uh. That's a lot of rant and babble. Here's a massively long post for you. Er. Enjoy it? Thanks for writing?
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aw, crap. u_u;Somehow, the sheer absence of Kyuubi is making me suspicious. I keep waiting for his presence to show up again, dramatically.
Oh, hey, maybe I should start naruto's chapter with Kyuubi. *___*
Just about the only suggestion I could make would be to work on plot clarity and to extrapolate more
BLEEP. Please to tell me where exactly I need to clarify and extrapolate, or else I shall bite you for making me paranoid.
*rubs against you anyway* ♥
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I love the "stealth disaster," Naruto telling Ino not to tapdance over the ruined moment, the way the cops recognized Sasuke (once they could actually see him, that is), and the whole string of memories running through Sasuke's mind while he grabs stuff from his house and then burns it down. I particularly like the way the memories go into italics and start breaking apart the sentence as the house burns -- it sort of mirrors the way Sasuke's really starting to crack right about then... until Naruto and Sakura show up, yay!
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I keep thinking I should icon the stealth disaster sentence; i just don't see how. XD
♥♥♥♥♥ thank you! I wasn't even sure if the flashback/action pattern would work; kinda wrote itself this way. i'm glad! ^___^
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...I want to hear Naruto's idea... >.>
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You and me both -- kidding, I know what he's going to say XD I just don't know where to start. need more time to think about it.
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I'd start to write right now, if I had any idea of HOW i'm going to do it. x____x;;; i'm still in full Sasuke-POV mode.
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Well you answered my question from my previous post.
Your writing continues to cheer me up just when I need it. Looking forward to the next part.