askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Neji_birdie)
askerian ([personal profile] askerian) wrote2005-09-24 08:35 am
Entry tags:

naruto - drabble for [livejournal.com profile] jedera

yay, one drabble down!! only... six left. ._.

[livejournal.com profile] jedera/[livejournal.com profile] _icallshotgun_: neji and naruto, wardrobe malfunction.



They just need a distraction. Amazons, though, don't DO distracted. And Neji and Naruto aren't committing the mistake of thinking that being girls, they would be less dangerous -- their own Godaime is, after all, very much a woman.

They leap into the fray, kunai flashing, attempting to scare off more than to kill -- the amazons are only trying to capture them for now, but if there was even one death, they'd track the ninjas down to the ends of the earth.

There are punches thrown and arrows and blades whizzing around, but amazingly, no one gets hurt much, save maybe a few bruises. Dodging and weaving through the crowd, Naruto and Neji make it almost all the way through the melee.

And then they get surrounded.

Classical stand-off -- Neji and Naruto almost back to back, the warrior women circling them. There are only a few left toward the exit, and if they rush them, they can go through -- but the hand signals they flash each other say the same thing. They need a distraction, just one second...

Naruto's waistband snaps, and in the sudden, stunned silence, his pants rustle unnaturally loudly as they pool on his feet.

He goes commando, by the way.

Most amazons have never seen any males but the ones they watch over -- pampered, despised weaklings -- and the bandits hanging around the area -- usually hairy and messily scarred and stinking from ten feet away. Naruto isn't really beefy, nor is he exceptionally slender, but -- well, for one thing, he's a true blond.

A hardened, gray-haired war-horse slaps her hands on her eyes and turns around quickly. There are gasps, of horror or just of surprise.

And then come the catcalls.

Neji throws Naruto over his shoulder and rushes the still blinking small group of women standing between them and the exit, accessorily presenting them with a fine piece of naked ninja ass. They barely remember to dodge; he even has to bowl one of them over.

Naruto is muttering uncomplimentary things under his breath, and hits Neji's back in frustration, but he doesn't ask to be put down before they're well out of range; taking care of his pants right when they're being chased would be stupid. By the way Neji's shoulders twitch a little as he dodges through the trees, Naruto knows that the son of a bitch is trying not to snicker out loud. So glad he can amuse mister Broodalot.

"Just kill me," Naruto mutters as Neji finally stops running to put him down. "What a fucking time for a wardrobe malfunction."

... his waistband, he notices, has been sliced with such precision that it didn't even nick the skin.

With a kunai.

Neji's smirk is wide and bordering on a leer. "Wardrobe malfunction? It functioned exactly like it was meant to."

[identity profile] artimusdin.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
*dies* That? Has so much love. AMAZONS! So much love. *hearts*

[identity profile] artimusdin.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Hah, you perv you. ^__^ I'd love to see how Neji explains his... distraction to Tsunade. *snickers*

Explanations...

(Anonymous) 2005-09-24 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Repeats it, maybe? h_h

Ja, -n

[identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 06:43 am (UTC)(link)
HI I LOVE YOU IF I WASN'T ALREADY HAVING YOUR BABIES I WOULD NOW.

HIIIIIIIIIIII NAKED NINJA ASS!
ext_49: ([chibi] Naruto - (sexy no jutsu) do me)

[identity profile] kylara.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 07:00 am (UTC)(link)
*dies* Amazons... Of all the random things...

Neji, you tricky bastard, you. XD

[identity profile] lexkixass.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 07:10 am (UTC)(link)
LOL Great story. So nice to know Neji can think on his feet...and be amused at the same time. *adds to memories*

[identity profile] andartha.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 07:18 am (UTC)(link)
LOL. Fantastic. Quick thinking on the part of Sasuke there.

[identity profile] andartha.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
*headdesks* Neji. Of course I meant Neji.

[identity profile] animeprincess.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 09:04 am (UTC)(link)
.....BAAAHAHAHAHHAHA! that's fanfuckingtastic. *dhed. just...dhed.*

[identity profile] animeprincess.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
*nibbled*
^O^

[identity profile] muffytaj.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 11:05 am (UTC)(link)
Oh Neji, you sneaky, bitter bastard you :p

[identity profile] muffytaj.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
We love him long time. Especially when he's smirking.

[identity profile] malika.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
PERVY NEJI! *glee*

[identity profile] ivyadrena.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
XDD *luffs on you*

[identity profile] miko-no-da.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 04:28 pm (UTC)(link)
*DIES*

just...

*DIES*

*runs off to show Cnd*

[identity profile] joisbishmyoga.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
W00T!!! GO NEJI!!! Yay for reverse sexism! or something

[identity profile] joisbishmyoga.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
*misses on*

[identity profile] maldoror-gw.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
He goes commando, by the way.

La phrase qui tue! :D

Lol, excellent little crack-drabble, m'dear. And Neji! Who knew Sir Broodalot (lol) had it in him! Whahahaha! Love it.

[identity profile] maldoror-gw.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Gaalee sounds weird; as someone else on my LJ put it, it sounds like 'Golly!', and though that works for Lee, it's just soooo wrong for Gaara ;P

Source is on hiatus *dodges flying objects* until I finish Freeport and take a short GW break. I'm sure you know where I'm coming from *coughGaroucough*. I just hope people will remember the fic when I do start it up again ^^;
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (red flower)

[personal profile] edenfalling 2005-09-24 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Most amazons have never seen any males but the ones they preciously watch over

Dunno quite what you're going for, but 'preciously' is not the word you're looking for...

...

*cracks up* Amazons? What kind of crack are you on, and where can I get some?
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)

[personal profile] edenfalling 2005-09-24 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, yes, point. Although...

No. I will not create pervy genjutsu. That would be WRONG. Really wrong. Really...

[identity profile] chibirisuchan.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
Not to mention that it'd be redundant anyway, what with Naruto and Konohamaru running around having "who can out-ero-jutsu-the-other" contests.

That aside, DO IT DO IT!

::so not helping:: ^__^

[identity profile] ketsuke.livejournal.com 2005-09-24 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
We all know Neji had been waiting for a chance to see naked Naruto outside the bath anyway. And the chane to have frontal naked Naruto pressed against him, even if it was just at the shoulder and not somewhere more pleasant. ^_^ May I worship you this week? (A whole week for you! Most people I just worship a day at a time. ^_~ )

Love it. In case I didn't manage to convince you of that in the previous paragraph.

Your Fic

[identity profile] sahara-storm.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Bwarhar. Naked ninja butt. I knew there was a reason for me to drag myself out of bed this morning. :D

The first of your Saki-chan fics is posted. Late, but better late...etc, etc, etc, so on and so forth. The others are written, but need to be edited, so expect them between today and tomorrow.

*farewell lick*

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_icallshotgun_/ 2005-09-26 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
HOLY CRAP WHUT XD

LOVE XD AWESOME XD

[identity profile] ravenwhite2yaoi.livejournal.com 2006-08-14 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAHAAA! I knew Neji had it in him!

OheMGee!!

[identity profile] doneitall.livejournal.com 2011-01-29 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
Neji, who would have suspected?