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(teamwork) chapter 2, beginning of first scene
Still writing, will post the rest when it's complete. tell me if anything sounds weird/off/ooc/whatever, please?
"The paint's supposed to go on the walls, not on the floor, you utter cretin."
Sitting on the wooden guardrail that lined the open side of the corridor going to his apartment, Sasuke was glaring disdainfully at Naruto. Naruto was currently attempting to cover a large scorch mark on the wall with sky-blue paint. So far there was more on his face and hair and shirt than there was on the floor, and there was more on the floor than there was over the wall. The burnt stretch of wall was rather large, proof that the trap Sasuke had placed on his door had been efficient. Naruto was going to need hours to cover it all up. It was his own fault for not remembering Sasuke's warning anyway.
Sasuke was, in fact, rather entertained. He would have been more entertained if he hadn't been utterly unnerved by the knowledge that his small apartment was full of boxes and that there was a sleeping bag laid out on the couch.
He'd come back from the hospital the day before, to find his bare, quiet apartment utterly invaded by Naruto's presence. He hadn't thought he would mind so much -- well, he'd known he would mind the noise and the presence when he wanted to be alone, but Naruto had shown a considerable amount of understanding when Sasuke had locked himself in his bedroom. The blond had been quiet -- or had tried to at least.
But he'd been ready for that sort of annoyance. He hadn't been ready to see Naruto drag himself in the kitchen in the morning, wearing only low-riding pajama pants and that ridiculous nightcap he'd owned forever. He hadn't been expecting the sheer importance of that stupid, stupid problem of how to behave around the idiot. Whether to insult him or not -- that one had solved itself on its own, because Naruto was eminently insultable and tended to look at him weird when he was polite anyway ; whether to stare at his bare chest openly or covertly, whether to nod his good morning, or ignore him, or -- kiss him hello maybe?
Somehow, he couldn't imagine kissing Naruto casually. In the middle of sex, when it was more about biting and licking and fucking with their tongues, no problem -- but just like that? No way. It was too -- too... weird. Too much what a lovey-dovey girl would do, and he was a man, and Naruto was his rival before anything else.
They hadn't done anything related, closely or not, to sex either. It wasn't just that his still healing ribs didn't put him in the right frame of mind, or that Naruto had so far, during their whole forty hours of cohabitation, managed to annoy him at least twice an hour, which made seeing him as someone to be desired rather unlikely. Without Sakura there, at least for their first time after "the night", it just felt ... wrong.
Anyway, Naruto was maybe grinning a bit more than he usually did, but apart from that he behaved like usual. So long as he wasn't expecting flowers and candlelit dinners, all was fine with Sasuke. Paying Sakura a bit of special attention was going to be hard enough; if they both expected him to romance them, he'd probably run off.
"Argh, I don't get it. It wasn't so difficult to paint the Hokage monument, and I did THAT suspended on a rope!"
Naruto's shirt was now more blue than orange. The combination was jarring. Sasuke decided not to tell him about the yet-to-be-deactivated seal that was intended to repel exploding notes and alterations to the structure of the walls, and made sticking anything to them more difficult.
"What are you sneering for, bastard?"
"You're an eyesore," he replied offhandedly. "More so than usual."
"And you're a stuck-up, sarcastic son of a bitch."
"I try."
Naruto paused, blinked at him, and started to laugh. Sasuke allowed himself a faint smirk.
"I'm gonna need to warn everyone that you actually have a sense of humor. Though no one will believe me."
"They'll run away screaming at the sight of you, anyway," Sasuke replied, giving his orange-and-blue shirt a pointed look.
"Okay, okay! Here, you happy?" Muttering in annoyance, Naruto whipped off his shirt. Of course he also managed to spread paint on his chest and to flick the brush wrong, ending up with a splattering of little sky-blue dots running up his biceps to end at the base of his neck. Sasuke knew that paint was toxic. It didn't prevent him from wanting to lick it off.
"... I think I see what you meant, Sakura."
Ino had paused in mid-step, her foot hovering over the landing. Sasuke frowned; he'd been so distracted by Naruto's antics that he had dismissed her approach, subconsciously deciding that she was a neighbor or something. A pink head popped up behind her and Sakura appeared, blinking quizzically.
"What do you -- oh."
Naruto was bouncing toward them, and Sasuke knew him enough to know that he was grinning. "Sakura-chan!"
Naruto paused before her, almost bouncing in place. He was probably wondering if he could, or should, kiss her. Ino's presence seemed to be a deterrent, though.
"Hey, Ino. What did you mean?" he asked the blonde girl, scratching his head.
"Oh, Sakura said you had... grown up. I can see that now." She gave Naruto a flirtatious leer. Sasuke scowled and slid off his perch cautiously.
"Sakura," he said quietly in greeting.
Sakura looked up at him and gave him a shy smile. There was something off about it -- about her... and he wasn't quite sure, but Ino watched him come closer as if she wanted to hover protectively. "What's wrong?"
Naruto blinked, and stared at Sakura. "Eh?"
"What makes you think--" she started, looking away quickly. That pretty much cinched it.
"You didn't say nothing was wrong. What's wrong?"
"Uhm. Well. It's..." She sighed, quietly, and gave Naruto and him a worried look. "Let's go inside."
He glanced at Naruto quickly. The blond was frowning now.
Sasuke pushed his door open and pulled Naruto's sleeping bag off the couch, rolling it up and throwing it over a stack of boxes. Ino and Sakura followed, Ino looking around shamelessly. Sasuke frowned -- having Naruto invade his space was already annoying, but having Ino poke at things...
"Put that down," he grunted, and tugged a scroll out of her hands. "Sit."
'And stay out of the way' was left unsaid, though not unheard, if one judged by her expression.
"Don't mind him, he's in prickly bastard mode," Naruto commented cheerfully as he walked in.
"Put paint on anything and die," Sasuke retorted dryly before disappearing in the kitchen.
"See? He's been like that since he came back from the hospital. Grouchy prick."
"I think he can still hear you, Naruto," Ino replied in an amused whisper.
"I can," Sasuke commented as he walked back in, carrying glasses and a bottle of apple juice.
"S'okay, I didn't say anything he doesn't know I think," Naruto replied with a chuckle. He was sitting on a chair. Sasuke almost kicked him off, then realized he was using his pajama top to cover the seat and decided not to bitch.
"Drip on anything..." he warned anyway as he put the bottle and glasses down on a nearby box.
"And die, yeah, I know."
Ino was watching him and Naruto way too closely. He didn't like it.
"There's no tea left?" Naruto asked.
"I'm not your maid. Make it yourself."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "It's a wonder how you can be so visibly well bred and yet still be such a prick about it."
Sakura sighed and started to get up. "I can--"
"No." Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "You can sit and tell us what's wrong."
Sakura winced and seemed to brace herself. "My mother knows about Naruto and the baby. I told her yesterday. I'm staying over at Ino's for now."
Even Naruto didn't need any help deciphering that one. "She didn't take it too well, did she?" he replied, grimacing, and reached out to touch her shoulder. There, he seemed to remember that he had paint on his fingers, and paused.
Sakura gave him a crooked smile and sighed. "No, not too well."
"You should have started with the bit about you and Sasuke, that woulda made her happier... hell, you could have forgotten to mention me entirely -- ack!!"
Sakura's eyes were dangerously narrowed. "No."
"But it wouldn't bother me--"
"It would bother ME. Besides, knowing my mother's friends, she'd end up hearing about it anyway."
"What did your father say?" Sasuke asked.
Sakura looked guilty for a second. "... He wasn't there when it happened."
"You will talk to him privately?" Sasuke asked. He did not understand how one could fear one's mother, and go to one's father to play mediator, but not all families were like his had been. Maybe Sakura's father would be more accommodating than her mother had been.
"I'll write, I think. It's easier to find the words, and at least he won't interrupt me."
"He would?"
She shrugged. "No, but he'd make himself an opinion about three sentences in, and would spend the rest of my speech wiping off his glasses and waiting for me to finish."
He knew her well enough to notice that she was covering up a lot of fear and sadness under her annoyance. But he didn't know what to do about that new moral obligation to comfort her. He'd never been good at comforting. When Naruto was in a funk, he sneered at him until he got pissed enough to fight back, but that wouldn't work with Sakura. It would probably make her feel worse; she took him way too seriously. When she was depressed, she usually went to Ino -- who had probably done everything she could, but it apparently wasn't enough -- or her mother -- and her mother wasn't an option. Frowning, he looked at Naruto, who looked just as lost as he felt.
"For god's sake! Hug her or something!"
Ino was giving them both a disgusted look. Sasuke glared back. She was so --
"Nosey, I know. Listen -- sorry, forehead-girl, I gotta jet, I'm meeting Chouji and Shika at the dango stand. Now you two, I hope you're not as macho in private as you are in public -- though it could be funny in bed, I guess -- but just hug her or something. We'll talk this evening, Sakura-chan -- and YOU--" she pointed at Naruto threateningly -- "had better walk her back. See you!"
Sasuke was left blinking in her wake. Disgruntled, he looked over at Naruto, still gaping, and Sakura, who looked deeply embarrassed by her friend's unsubtle behavior.
"The paint's supposed to go on the walls, not on the floor, you utter cretin."
Sitting on the wooden guardrail that lined the open side of the corridor going to his apartment, Sasuke was glaring disdainfully at Naruto. Naruto was currently attempting to cover a large scorch mark on the wall with sky-blue paint. So far there was more on his face and hair and shirt than there was on the floor, and there was more on the floor than there was over the wall. The burnt stretch of wall was rather large, proof that the trap Sasuke had placed on his door had been efficient. Naruto was going to need hours to cover it all up. It was his own fault for not remembering Sasuke's warning anyway.
Sasuke was, in fact, rather entertained. He would have been more entertained if he hadn't been utterly unnerved by the knowledge that his small apartment was full of boxes and that there was a sleeping bag laid out on the couch.
He'd come back from the hospital the day before, to find his bare, quiet apartment utterly invaded by Naruto's presence. He hadn't thought he would mind so much -- well, he'd known he would mind the noise and the presence when he wanted to be alone, but Naruto had shown a considerable amount of understanding when Sasuke had locked himself in his bedroom. The blond had been quiet -- or had tried to at least.
But he'd been ready for that sort of annoyance. He hadn't been ready to see Naruto drag himself in the kitchen in the morning, wearing only low-riding pajama pants and that ridiculous nightcap he'd owned forever. He hadn't been expecting the sheer importance of that stupid, stupid problem of how to behave around the idiot. Whether to insult him or not -- that one had solved itself on its own, because Naruto was eminently insultable and tended to look at him weird when he was polite anyway ; whether to stare at his bare chest openly or covertly, whether to nod his good morning, or ignore him, or -- kiss him hello maybe?
Somehow, he couldn't imagine kissing Naruto casually. In the middle of sex, when it was more about biting and licking and fucking with their tongues, no problem -- but just like that? No way. It was too -- too... weird. Too much what a lovey-dovey girl would do, and he was a man, and Naruto was his rival before anything else.
They hadn't done anything related, closely or not, to sex either. It wasn't just that his still healing ribs didn't put him in the right frame of mind, or that Naruto had so far, during their whole forty hours of cohabitation, managed to annoy him at least twice an hour, which made seeing him as someone to be desired rather unlikely. Without Sakura there, at least for their first time after "the night", it just felt ... wrong.
Anyway, Naruto was maybe grinning a bit more than he usually did, but apart from that he behaved like usual. So long as he wasn't expecting flowers and candlelit dinners, all was fine with Sasuke. Paying Sakura a bit of special attention was going to be hard enough; if they both expected him to romance them, he'd probably run off.
"Argh, I don't get it. It wasn't so difficult to paint the Hokage monument, and I did THAT suspended on a rope!"
Naruto's shirt was now more blue than orange. The combination was jarring. Sasuke decided not to tell him about the yet-to-be-deactivated seal that was intended to repel exploding notes and alterations to the structure of the walls, and made sticking anything to them more difficult.
"What are you sneering for, bastard?"
"You're an eyesore," he replied offhandedly. "More so than usual."
"And you're a stuck-up, sarcastic son of a bitch."
"I try."
Naruto paused, blinked at him, and started to laugh. Sasuke allowed himself a faint smirk.
"I'm gonna need to warn everyone that you actually have a sense of humor. Though no one will believe me."
"They'll run away screaming at the sight of you, anyway," Sasuke replied, giving his orange-and-blue shirt a pointed look.
"Okay, okay! Here, you happy?" Muttering in annoyance, Naruto whipped off his shirt. Of course he also managed to spread paint on his chest and to flick the brush wrong, ending up with a splattering of little sky-blue dots running up his biceps to end at the base of his neck. Sasuke knew that paint was toxic. It didn't prevent him from wanting to lick it off.
"... I think I see what you meant, Sakura."
Ino had paused in mid-step, her foot hovering over the landing. Sasuke frowned; he'd been so distracted by Naruto's antics that he had dismissed her approach, subconsciously deciding that she was a neighbor or something. A pink head popped up behind her and Sakura appeared, blinking quizzically.
"What do you -- oh."
Naruto was bouncing toward them, and Sasuke knew him enough to know that he was grinning. "Sakura-chan!"
Naruto paused before her, almost bouncing in place. He was probably wondering if he could, or should, kiss her. Ino's presence seemed to be a deterrent, though.
"Hey, Ino. What did you mean?" he asked the blonde girl, scratching his head.
"Oh, Sakura said you had... grown up. I can see that now." She gave Naruto a flirtatious leer. Sasuke scowled and slid off his perch cautiously.
"Sakura," he said quietly in greeting.
Sakura looked up at him and gave him a shy smile. There was something off about it -- about her... and he wasn't quite sure, but Ino watched him come closer as if she wanted to hover protectively. "What's wrong?"
Naruto blinked, and stared at Sakura. "Eh?"
"What makes you think--" she started, looking away quickly. That pretty much cinched it.
"You didn't say nothing was wrong. What's wrong?"
"Uhm. Well. It's..." She sighed, quietly, and gave Naruto and him a worried look. "Let's go inside."
He glanced at Naruto quickly. The blond was frowning now.
Sasuke pushed his door open and pulled Naruto's sleeping bag off the couch, rolling it up and throwing it over a stack of boxes. Ino and Sakura followed, Ino looking around shamelessly. Sasuke frowned -- having Naruto invade his space was already annoying, but having Ino poke at things...
"Put that down," he grunted, and tugged a scroll out of her hands. "Sit."
'And stay out of the way' was left unsaid, though not unheard, if one judged by her expression.
"Don't mind him, he's in prickly bastard mode," Naruto commented cheerfully as he walked in.
"Put paint on anything and die," Sasuke retorted dryly before disappearing in the kitchen.
"See? He's been like that since he came back from the hospital. Grouchy prick."
"I think he can still hear you, Naruto," Ino replied in an amused whisper.
"I can," Sasuke commented as he walked back in, carrying glasses and a bottle of apple juice.
"S'okay, I didn't say anything he doesn't know I think," Naruto replied with a chuckle. He was sitting on a chair. Sasuke almost kicked him off, then realized he was using his pajama top to cover the seat and decided not to bitch.
"Drip on anything..." he warned anyway as he put the bottle and glasses down on a nearby box.
"And die, yeah, I know."
Ino was watching him and Naruto way too closely. He didn't like it.
"There's no tea left?" Naruto asked.
"I'm not your maid. Make it yourself."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "It's a wonder how you can be so visibly well bred and yet still be such a prick about it."
Sakura sighed and started to get up. "I can--"
"No." Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "You can sit and tell us what's wrong."
Sakura winced and seemed to brace herself. "My mother knows about Naruto and the baby. I told her yesterday. I'm staying over at Ino's for now."
Even Naruto didn't need any help deciphering that one. "She didn't take it too well, did she?" he replied, grimacing, and reached out to touch her shoulder. There, he seemed to remember that he had paint on his fingers, and paused.
Sakura gave him a crooked smile and sighed. "No, not too well."
"You should have started with the bit about you and Sasuke, that woulda made her happier... hell, you could have forgotten to mention me entirely -- ack!!"
Sakura's eyes were dangerously narrowed. "No."
"But it wouldn't bother me--"
"It would bother ME. Besides, knowing my mother's friends, she'd end up hearing about it anyway."
"What did your father say?" Sasuke asked.
Sakura looked guilty for a second. "... He wasn't there when it happened."
"You will talk to him privately?" Sasuke asked. He did not understand how one could fear one's mother, and go to one's father to play mediator, but not all families were like his had been. Maybe Sakura's father would be more accommodating than her mother had been.
"I'll write, I think. It's easier to find the words, and at least he won't interrupt me."
"He would?"
She shrugged. "No, but he'd make himself an opinion about three sentences in, and would spend the rest of my speech wiping off his glasses and waiting for me to finish."
He knew her well enough to notice that she was covering up a lot of fear and sadness under her annoyance. But he didn't know what to do about that new moral obligation to comfort her. He'd never been good at comforting. When Naruto was in a funk, he sneered at him until he got pissed enough to fight back, but that wouldn't work with Sakura. It would probably make her feel worse; she took him way too seriously. When she was depressed, she usually went to Ino -- who had probably done everything she could, but it apparently wasn't enough -- or her mother -- and her mother wasn't an option. Frowning, he looked at Naruto, who looked just as lost as he felt.
"For god's sake! Hug her or something!"
Ino was giving them both a disgusted look. Sasuke glared back. She was so --
"Nosey, I know. Listen -- sorry, forehead-girl, I gotta jet, I'm meeting Chouji and Shika at the dango stand. Now you two, I hope you're not as macho in private as you are in public -- though it could be funny in bed, I guess -- but just hug her or something. We'll talk this evening, Sakura-chan -- and YOU--" she pointed at Naruto threateningly -- "had better walk her back. See you!"
Sasuke was left blinking in her wake. Disgruntled, he looked over at Naruto, still gaping, and Sakura, who looked deeply embarrassed by her friend's unsubtle behavior.
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Um, the only thing that seems off is Ino at the very end. A bit rushed maybe?
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(ok, so i didn't know how to get her the hell outta here. hnn. i'll fix later, thanks ^^)
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I like that he notices something's wrong with Sakura.
~Sam
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'Making an opinion' doesn't sound right. 'Make up his mind,' perhaps?
I like the way Sasuke's trying to think things out despite (or because of) being unnerved by the whole situation. I also like that he's perfectly willing to let his floor get paint-spattered just to tick off Naruto, yet he bitches about getting paint on the furniture. He's so twisted around and perverse about little things like that. :-)
I also like that he notices Sakura's unhappiness before Naruto does, even though Naruto's the one who loves her more, so to speak.
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I do like the Sasuke noticing Sakura... even if he doesn't quite know what to do with it.
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Sasuke is a sadistic, twisted little bitch. the way i see it, he's more aware than naruto is, even though he has less instinctive comprehension of people's feelings.
I still owe you feedback, i think. tomorrow? sorry =_=;;;
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this sounds a lot like the outer Sasuke: a little cold, and not quite understanding the internal workings and quirks of a relationship. nicely done.
Sakura looked up at him and gave him a shy smile. There was something off about it -- about her... and he wasn't quite sure, but Ino watched him come closer as if she wanted to hover protectively. "What's wrong?"
but here he seems to understand her a bit easier, faster than Naruto does. the overall way Sasuke is written, he sounds like he sees and notiees things faster than everyone else, but he still doesn't get what to do about it. it's interesting to see Sasuke off his guard once in a while; it's refreshing. ^__^
i agree with _Sachi, tho, it is a bit rushed at the end. looks like Ino was hurried off. maybe you could work WITH that, though; Ino seems to understand the situation better than anyone else. maybe you could have her ACT a little rushed; as in, she's faking having to go to a meeting, so the trio can actually talk about what's bugging them in private and get to the real point.
*loves it*
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*takes the ino suggestion and runs away with it*
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Well done!
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Yummy!
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