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meme replies ... + meme okay yes >_>;
Over on Tumblr I had a round of "Ask my characters a question" meme.
I uh think i'll have to split the answers into several posts.
This one's for Battlefield Terra answers.
thingsareswinging asked a question
BT!Dave: what’s your take on your new roommate? Alternatively, if that’s a spoiler, what’s the deal with your shades? A wraparound visor? Did John get you Cyberpunk-Bono’s glasses or something?
BT!Dave: The alien? Am reserving judgment like my judgment is an overpriced hotel at a nerd convention. Not a room to be found for love, money or high class blowjobs. Yup.
Re: my shades, I have this condition known as “the world needs a filter to deal with the incandescence of my gorgeous peepers or else something would burn.” (By something I mean my retinas. Seeing into infrared is awesome, especially when you’re standing like a tool in the sunlight.)
Anonymous asked you:
BT Dad Egbert: Are you as worried as everyone else by John becoming friends with an alien?
BT!dad: To be honest... yes, but I have been worried for him and all the children pretty much nonstop ever since they were born and it did not, alas, abate with age! We have to learn to let them handle things, even when we want nothing more than to intervene before someone gets hurt.
On the other hand I cannot help but be proud of him for reaching out to someone in pain, without distinction of species.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Dirk: What’s the best part about your job?
BT!Dirk:Tinkering with giant robots. Definitely that. Though flying isn’t all bad either.
Anonymous asked you:
BT Karkat- how old are you? Is it weird being around so many adult humans? Also, what’s your opinion of the Condesce?
BT!Karkat: Nine sweeps and a half. Still technically in transitionary training but who cares how smoothly we integrate when we’re just cannon fodder, right? It is definitely weird and unsettling but it was weird being around so many adult trolls, too, and I haven’t seen any adult human culling a younger adult out of hand for disrespect yet, so there’s that. I mean, when they cull me, it definitely won’t be for disrespect. At best the disrespect will be the excuse wrapped around the fact that I got lucky enough to get them to cull me before their docterrorists got around putting those machine healing things in me so they could test me to their bloodpushers’ content.
The Condesce... it’s complicated. I used to admire her so much, and I still do.. but so many parts of our society are fundamentally broken, and either she’s not seeing it, which is bad enough, or she is and she doesn’t care, which should be badass and strong but instead it’s just worse. Most people under her definitely know and don’t care, though.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Jade: What’s your mech’s name and why did you name it that?
remington!! because they make my favorite rifles. sometimes i call him remmie but hes a boy mech so he doesnt like that much. (i dunno why hes a boy mech btw theyre all built the same and roses is def. a girl mech and jakes too, go figure)
siadea asked you:
BT Hass - Has anyone found out WHY the alien came to Earth in such a dramatic fashion? It seems like it may be important. BT Rose - What makes Taurus especially remarkable in combat?
BT!Hass: Why, we did ask John. The lad reported at length, and complained about twice as much, too. What it comes down to is that Karkat was hoping to use his potential success as a bargaining chip to rescue a friend from what John reports feels like certain doom. Important to Karkat, certainly, but personal motives are of little interest to Earth; we were more interested in what we could glean of their society from it.
BT!Rose: Alas, that information is classified. :)
Anonymous asked you:
BT Karkat: what’s the weirdest thing about humans that you’ve seen so far? Does John do anything that really makes you angry (other than caring too much, lol).
BT Karkat: the weird ritualisting insistence on drenching themselves and rubbing weird gluey stuff into their skins while collectively naked is starting to get to me a bit. I mean, there’s clean, and then there’s I’m developing a fucking rash from rubbing so much you asswipe. The sleeping on concupiscent platforms in a common room as well, holy mirthforsaken crap. Even if you discard the hilariously inappropriate concupiscent bit, they just all lay there and go unconscious for several hours in a row in other people’s presence, and they get so used to it other people can come and go and they’ll keep sleeping. I mean up in ships we do that anyway, but that’s why Fleet recuperacoons lock from the inside. I guess if they’re all inclade, though... I don’t know if all humans do that, sure hope not, it’s easier to just think mine are just freaks.
John is pissing me off by sulking about Rose and his friends, and also by generally being an asshole just because he thinks it’s funny, and finding himself funny (now that’s a crime), and being so dismissive of just about everything he doesn’t want to hear about, and...
... I guess i’m still a bit angry that he doesn’t force me to do things, just patiently waits and makes me force myself. We’re not equals but he could let me keep my fucking pride and not just assume i’ll eventually bend over because we both know he has all the cards in hand, fuck. I’m starting to think he doesn’t even notice, though.
theunvanquishedzims asked you:
BT!Noir: Do you hate Karkat because you hate aliens in general on principle, or do you hate him specially because of what he did to your men? BT!Karkat: How do you think your life would be different if Roxy had been the one to shoot you down and bring you in?
BT!Noir: hate is a big motherfucking word. just wary of the thing, as i goddamned well should being it’s a fucking alien who we know jack shit about. did you see the claws? and then those morons get all aw but its been nice recently at me, yeah, it’d be even nicer dead. ‘ch.
BT!Karkat: oh dear jegusfuck i would totally be her “pet” by now. My hair would never recover from that amount of ruffling. I’d also possibly be even closer to a nervous breakdown than I already am.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Roxy and Jade: If you were in charge of Karkat, what would you do for his wardrobe/sleeping place?
BT!Roxy and Jade: PLAY DRESS UP. XD XD XD okay now seriously we’d probably ask the guys for some things and ask an adult to go buy him some shirts and pants and underthings. Sleeping spots though, uh. Hm. I guess we could get Mom’s apartment, she’s not here a lot anyway and has a bed at the infirmary, but that would mean locking Dad out as well, and then one of us could sleep on the couch in her tiny living room and Karkat would have the bedroom. I guess. Hm. :/
duosthefangirl asked you:
BT!Karkat: Do the humans do anything that is similar/same to trolls?
BT!Karkat: A surprising amount of things actually. The differences are more noticeable but considering they could have been squids from outer space with no concept of romance it’s pretty staggering. I have some trouble placing some of their colors as well — is roxy higher than rose or not??? maybe her shade being so bright means she’s a wildcard??? I don’t get it!!) but overall it just amuses me thinking of all those pants-on-head, red-empress alien tropes. Bluebloods top everywhere, bunch of overbearing assholes.
girltypething asked you:
BT!Dad: Whose idea actually was it to clone and cross yourselves to make a batch of superpowered kids? How did you decide how to spec each of them? Were Jane and John given to Nanna at first, or were you going to raise them yourself from the beginning?
BT!Dad: My mother’s, first, though General Harley agreed quickly enough. A lot of it was her idea. Romy was recruited once the decision had been made, and Burt only came into the picture when it was time to find someone to bring in natural fighting potential. We didn’t really decide which child woud get what; they were modified with different combinations of abilities; as I understand it, some alteration took, and some didn’t. A lot of the end result depends on massively layered gene interaction which even now we do not fully understand.
My mother planned at first to raise John and Jane herself, but her political work took a turn for the all-consuming, and while still fully energetic at the time it was hard to predict when or if her forces would decline, and it was decided that their life would be more stable if I were to be their full-time father, and my mother their doting if often busy grandmother. Having the children grow up to resent her for her absences and distractions would have been a catastrophe.
Also, I think, she already suspected she might be assassinated.
BT!Karkat: Do you still think Dirk’s hot, or was that just a passing moment of shirtless-induced weakness?
(( did i say karkat thought dirk was hot? I can’t remember. :???))
azzandra replied to your post: correspondingnerd asked you: Sunlight!Rose: your...
There was that moment where Dirk shows off his rock-hard abs and Karkat looks away real quick. Admiration of hotness was implied.
theunvanquishedzims replied to your post: correspondingnerd asked you: Sunlight!Rose: your...
(Shirtless checking-out after pile-building? Or was he just looking because Dirk was there.)
ahaha wow, i was just thinking Karkat was nervous about being seen looking at people who might be hostile. The checking Dirk out theory makes so much more sense, especially because i WAS thinking that John was jealous of perceived interest from Karkat! the heck, self. XD He wasn’t shirtless, alas, but Karkat has seen him naked several times by now so hey.
Long story short Dirk is a fit and quite attractive young man, though really, all the humans are fit and attractive. Karkat sometimes feels like he fell in a TV series where everyone is trollywood pretty, even the “plain” ones. They’re ALL hot, what is this egregious fuckery???
girltypething asked you: BT!Karkat: You’ve seen John’s blood color, right? What did you think of that?
BT!Karkat: I knew already. You think my so-called allies hadn’t called me over to point and laugh at how much my freak insides probably looked like those poor alien assholes they caught?
Anonymous asked: BT!Equius: How is Nepeta taking the news of Karkat's disappearance? For that matter, how are you? He was your friend, once, wasn't he?
BT!Equius: She is understandably heartbroken, as she still insisted on harboring this silly flush-crush on Vantas. I believe it might be for the best, though, she needed to get over him at some point. Even if his hue hadn’t been a repulsing off-caste one he was still a dead end as far as quadrants went.
The air is much less often profaned with his uncouth language and his utter disrespect for his betters. Lacking in encouragement to disrespect me, I believe the other workers have gone back to a proper appreciation of our respective places in the hierarchy. This is extremely positive. He made it almost impossible to work, being around, I kept breaking far over my alloted quota of
I am glad he is gone.
He wasn’t quadrant material anyway.
Anonymous asked: BT Hass: was there any attempt made at first to negotiate with the aliens? Now that you know slightly more about them, will you attempt to make contact at any point in order to come to terms with them? Or do you believe the only thing you can do is keep fighting until they leave (or earth is conquered, whichever comes first).
BT!Hass: The aliens are not interested in negotiating, lad/lass, and so far none of what Karkat told us or hinted at shows that they would ever be willing to bother. We are a small planet, still mostly confined to our solar system, they’re a galactic empire, now why should they stop? Because we asked nicely? Wish that worked.
Anonymous asked: BTverse Rose- don't you think the aliens' strategy is a little weird? Why don't they just send everything they have all at once and overwhelm your defenses? Do you suspect there's something else going on that you haven't quite cottoned on to yet?
BT!Rose: Of course we are wondering at the reasons behind such careless waste. It would be bad form of us to complain when the sloppiness and slow increase give us time to increase our own weapon capabilities and advance our science.
I have to admit the theory I like the least and which makes the most sense is that they’re being so careless because we are not yet worth the bother of more active antagonism, and because they can afford it. The implications are extremely unpleasant.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: are you curious to see the inside of the human's mecha? maybe to see how it works compared to your own Alternian technology.
BT!Karkat: Might be interesting. It’s likely I won’t understand jack shit of how they even work, seeing how John was totally baffled at mine, and it’s not like i’ll be able to bring back any interesting intel, but for curiosity’s sake...
For curiosity’s sake. Wow. I am so fucking bored.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: Before you were captured, you must've fought against most of the humans, not just john. Were there any that gave you more trouble than the rest? Have any of the kids earned some sort of... maybe respect, based on how well they fight? Had you formed any opinions or impressions of the pilots prior to meeting them in person? and if so was it surprising to learn about how some of the pilots actually behaved?
BT!Karkat: They’re all troublesome to handle. I don’t think one of them is especially worse, they’re all the worst in different ways. Even the cerulean one might not have been dangerous from afar but get in range of its polearms and you’d be kind of fucked.
Everyone was suddenly really good at working together and covering each other’s back when the pink one came waltzing in, though, what a fucking surprise. Now I’ve seen Roxy around, though, I’m not really surprised, she’s mirth-unpredictable and laughssassin stealthy even dirtside. Only lacking the stupid facepaint, I swear to fuck.
She’s oddly non-violent physically speaking but then again most of them are, it’s really weird, only John and Jake and Dave are all that rough with each other, and even then it’s only ever play-fighting. Sometimes Jade will punch an arm or do a chokehold but then she lets them go straight away. I really wonder how long they’ve been a cohort, it’s disturbingly impressive. Maybe all the mediating happens in ways I don’t notice or places I can’t go.
Rose hasn’t even beaten up John for being stupid either, I am baffled as fuck. It’s like she’s waiting on him to talk himself into giving in. Aliens are so goddamn weird. Maybe she’s pale on him; I’m starting to see why, the guy’s a stubbornly delusional clusterfuck in slow-mo.
Anyway; red one was dangerous one on one but orange and purple ones were the ones I was trying to get the other assholes to target the second they came on the battlefield, because even when they didn’t engage directly you could tell something changed with the group coordination. Of course half the time no one fucking listened to me and I had to abscond at high speeds, wow, look at that, Vantas is the only survivor once again, might he perhaps be a coward no it’s called not being suicidal you stupid fucks why does no one ever listen to me.
... Hrrst. Neverfuckingmind.
I wonder if taking Jane out would break John or make him lose it Highblood style.
Anonymous asked: BT!Hass: So the eight kids we know are the only products of your little super soldier project, right? There aren't any stillborns or kids who died in training or battle, right.
BT!Hass: Actually, the losses of fetuses and embryos all happened well before the ninth month! Usually if by the sixth they were still hanging around they were here to stay. We are pretty lucky in that all the children taken complete out of their artificial uteri were not lost while on vacation or dropped from any motorbikes at high speed and we still have the full collection today.
Re: character question meme: Plz no more asking BT Karkat what he’s noticed of the hierarchy/hemospectrum. It’ll come out in fic and besides it’s a lot of confirmation bias in action. Just because the lower hued guys aren’t shy or submissive around their cohort doesn’t mean they’re not low-hued, it just means they’ve been friends a while. Sollux was never shy about telling Eridan to shut the fuck up as kids. It means very little about how the hemospectrum would affect them as adults, in professional settings, or with people they’re meeting for the first time as teenagers or adults.
I’ve also answered the question about what he ships several times in the past; the answer is still Bro<3<3Noir, Dirkc3<3 (John/Jake) and John<3>3Jane and that’s about it. Then again Bro and Noir all but hatemade-out while he was sandwiched between them and John told him Jane was his sistermoirail, so it didn’t take a lot of deductive process. He doesn’t see them gathered as a big group often at all
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat- how quickly are you learning English? Do you understand much of what's being said around you? I bet the kids will be pretty surprised once you know enough words to treat them to one of your colorful pissy rants. Make sure you learn all the swears! All of them!
BTJade: pffhehehe its been one week, anon!!!! right now he can say stupid and dumb and im pretty sure he doesnt even know if theres any difference between the two or what it could be if there was one, hes just willing to believe me that they both apply to john equally. XD
he makes pretty amazing faces though!! like the other day i saw my first ever real life version of DDDDX<
Anonymous asked: i know you said not to ask about BT!Karkat's impressions of the hemospectrum among humans, but I'm confused -- you implied that he DOES think that they have a color hierarchy? but you also mentioned that he is aware that humans all have red blood like his?
The issue here is a mix-up between instinctive and natural things, and things that have been trained or encultured into a person so deeply that they think it’s instinctive or natural, such as a ton of our own cultures out here, where seeing the color red on a sign =>3 thinking danger/stop. The way certain dyes used to be so expensive that only nobles could afford them; when Karkat sees purple he thinks royalty, he doesn’t stop to question it. Just because the aliens have the same blood doesn’t mean they don’t have castes! See, they signal it by the right colors! What do you mean it’s circular reasoning. He’s just not trained as a sociologist/ethnologue, he’s not asking himself that kind of deconstructing question so long as he hasn’t got a reason to check his assumptions.
It’s similar to how no one has yet asked me why Karkat thought pink was OF COURSE a color for girls — answer, he doesn’t think pink = girl, he thinks pink = empress, who just happens to always be a girl.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: After you crashed, but before John pulled you out of your cockpit, did you realize that the mech you'd been fighting had also crashed, or did you think you were alone? Or were you not even thinking about that?
BT!Karkat: Silly me, I was oh so slightly distracted with my — crabdad’s cracked spine, splintered exoskeleton, broken arm, and missing arm. Also the fucking concussion. Frivolous, I know.
(I WAS THINKING OW WHAT THE FUCK BROADSIDED ME A METEOR OW FUCK GONNA THROW UP IT HURTS SO BAD WHY CAN I NOT PASS OUT I WANT TO PASS OUT PLEASE DAD LET ME PASS OUT FUCK STIMULANTS AAAAAHHH)
Anonymous asked: Hey, BT-Karkat. We've heard various opinions on your strange human captors, but how's the food over there?
BT!Karkat: Tons of red meat, no grub at all, the grubloaf is dry as fuck and very likely not grubloaf, they eat way too many plants, fruit is weird but nice enough I guess, and the melty sugary brown stuff on snacks makes me hyper as Sollux before a spectacular mood crash. No one would let me have that dark liquid stuff. :/
I’m glad they don’t insist to put spices on my food and they let me manage with salt, because it’d go from bland and slightly strange to way too weird to swallow. Anyway they don’t starve me and they don’t put tubes down my throat to pour protein in directly, I could have expected way worse. I can deal with slightly weird but ultimately tasteless.
theunvanquishedzims asked: BT!Bro: Ever considered sleeping with Hass?
BT!Bro: Yes. With my dick in hand.
Alas this fine gentleman never really picked up on my signals. Also, way to fuck up our working relationship at the time. Kinda wasn’t used to working with way older dudes who were also the Authority and it’d probably have gone badly. And now, eh, that pony has left Equestria.
Anonymous asked: BT!Bro: It's mentioned in the prequel that you've done a few scenes with your Dommes. Do you identify as a sub or a switch? Also, were all your sexual encounters with Jack Noir just as violent as the first time?
BT!Bro: Switch, it’s fun to change things around some, but on average I like subbing better. It’s just hella hard to find someone who can handle me. Or that I can trust, that part didn’t use to be important but ever since I got the kids, yeah. Also I don’t sub for guys in good and hardcore scenes, but Dommes are in pretty high demand. In the end I top more, but that’s still pretty cool.
Noir... eh. Heh. Most of the time it gets pretty rough, but we can’t afford to get that injured every single time we fuck, you can explain away needing stitches a couple times but after that it gets suspicious and messes with optimal performance. Sometimes it’s almost slow. Which is hilarious as fuck because the second we’re done he gets all what the fuck did you do to me bitch this could almost be construed as vaguely not horrible imma stab you. Messing with his mind is almost better than the fucking part.
The first time I fucked him, though, now that was even more violent than the first time, mostly cause he kept trying to go back on his word, the goddamned weasel.
Anonymous asked: BT!Jane: John's Warhammer uses... a warhammer. Dave's Excalibur uses a sword. What weapon does your mech use?
BT!Jane: Aha. Yes. I suspect you’d figure it out if I told you my mech is named Poseidon. I use staff weapons, often with bladed or barbed ends.
Anonymous asked: BT!Dirk: Are you closer to Rose or Roxy? What distinguishing characteristics about them do you find most endearing, and what characteristics are the most terrifying?
BT!Dirk: That’s kind of asking a kid if they love their mom or their dad more. Not in that either of them have a parental dynamic with me, but in that both dynamics, while different, are equally valuable. Rose makes a much better strategy partner and is calmer to be around; Roxy is good for when i’ve worked too long and need some downtime. I’d be unfair to say i’m closer to Roxy merely because I tend to hang out with her more during downtime. She also worries more and I can’t be as frank with her about the extremes of ... some things.
Okay so Rose is definitely the dad.
girltypething asked: BT!Dave: How often do you get use out of you're augmented vision? From the outside, it seems like more of a hinderance than a help.
BT!Dave: re help yeah atm its not
in full daylight or where i have instruments to do that shit anyway i mean is kinda like tits on a bull
but see another name for infrared vision is heat vision
i can track things by their body heat like in the dark i still see warm and cold stuff and maybe how long someones been gone from somewhere and if the thing blocking normal vision is thin enough and the thing behind it warm enough i still know its there
also when people are like lying and stuff sometimes their body heats or cools differently but i havent learned much about that yet and also shades
i dont care how much use im not getting out of it atm but anyway you cut it thats a genuine superpower
if not really one on par with xray vision yet but hey we cant all be batman
(Psst. Superman is the one with the X-ray vision.)
yeah thats what i said im totally batman only radder superman is a lazy asshole whos had it way too easy and also his costume is lame
im totally batman and supermans lovebaby yep thats me watch out for the laser glares next time i take off my shades cant control the hotness
(No, that’s — oh, I give up.)
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: Were you actually ordered to make that suicidal charge, or did you take the initiative on your own?
BT!kat: All my own cunning, flawless planning there, as demonstrated by its glorious crash-and-burn conclusion.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat, do troll mechs have some sort of escape system that allows the pilot to bail out in case their mech is damaged beyond the point of no return, or does the Navy high command just shrug and say "Oh well. We have reserves."
BT!karkat: Escape into what? The cold void of space? While covered in fluid for even faster cool-down action? Fluid whose oxygen content wouldn’t even be getting renewed anymore? Sounds like a plan to me...
Like you’d even be able to operate anything manually when your fucking lusus is busy dying in your brain.
Also who in the vast reaches of the Horrorterrors’ all-encompassing noodly appendages would even bother combing through battlefield debris (while under possible retaliatory attacks and/or minefields) for solo escape pods, I’d like to fucking know. Maybe if your blood were blue or up, they’d bother taking a look, but even then...
celynbrum replied to your post: BT!Karkat, do troll mechs...
Interesting fact: objects in outer space don’t actually lose heat very quickly. There’s no external substance for it to escape to, so the only heat transferal mechanism is radiation- no convection or conduction at all!
hahaha XD I heard about that actually, but oh stereotypes so long-lived. he’d still end up pretty popsickled at the end...
though really, yeah, he’d die of lack of oxygen and possibly decompression way sooner. HMM.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: If you were given the opportunity, would you choose to have one of your friends (any of them) join you on earth, even if it meant they would become prisoners of war as well?
BT!Kat: No, what the hell is the matter with you?! What kind of fucking monster-king of selfishness do you take me for?
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: On a scale of 1 to 10, how bored are you?
BT!Kat: A bazillion. I’m answering this, aren’t I?
Anonymous asked: BT!Condesce: Have you ever taken any human's prisoner? Or does it just not seem worth the effort?
BT!Condesce: Human, what the eel is that? If I bothered to reel in every finny alien out here ... ain’t like I got appropriate fishing grounds in my ship for a good nice old-fashioned hunt, and what other porpoise are they ever good for?
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: Are there circumstances where you'd consider sneaking out of the boy's room while they're asleep? Or asking one of the other boys to escort you somewhere (say bathroom) if John does his sleeping-dead impression? (Have you checked to see of the windows can open?)
BT!Karkat: Sneaking out, no. If the building were on fire I might not wait for them to catch up but I’d at least wake them first. (They might be the only humans even nominally on my side on the whole planet, I’m not getting them killed for nothing. Who cares that it’d also be unmeasurably shitty, it’d be stupid.) The second I break my terms, I’m fair game for Noir and the labs. No. Just... no. I can’t take it a second time.
Dirk and Jake have played chaperone a couple of times already. I guess so long as I don’t leave the building and John only has to holler that’d still be fine.
I don’t want to try the windows. What the fuck for? Either they open and I still have nowhere to escape to, or they don’t and I have to face the fact that I can’t delude myself into comforting ‘maybe I could still...’ lies. And on top of that delicious shit sundae I could even get caught in the act. They probably have cameras on every inch of the building and alarms and what the fuck else. Guard beasts? Stake-lined pits?
Anyway if I want some air there’s always the roof.
(I don’t know if John realizes I could climb down easy, he lets me go right to the edge. So weird to realize how many dimensions he can’t move into because of his disturbing absence of claws... eh. I’d only gain one minute’s lead on him, still not worth it.)
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat -- if your horns are important for psychic perception and stuff, what happens to trolls who have damaged horns? Did it affect Equius' ability to mindmeld with Nepeta, for example?
BT!Karkat: He does still have one and a half of them left, and they’re not small to start with. He walked into walls pretty much nonstop until his brain retrained itself, but that’s it. He couldn’t have mindmelded on his own even when they were fine, and the psychic gel bypasses the horns entirely. It’s basically like having horn core smeared goopily all over your skull.
A majority of trolls don’t have useable levels of psi, so having bigger or smaller horns doesn’t affect them. Surprise, ten times zero is still zero. It changes their degree of receptiveness to natural telepaths, but not by a huge margin. It’s the horn-sense that’s the most affected. If I lost a horn I’d have a pretty fucking big blind spot on account of my own damn skull getting in the way of the horn I have left. Guess I should count myself lucky they’re too small to provide enough of a lever to break off easily. My skull would probably crack first.
trombonesonmars asked: BT!Karkat: I know you have been generally bored out of your skull, but have you been provided any Earth Human entertainment? Movies, music, etc.? If so, what are your opinions?
BT!Kat: The only programs I’m allowed to watch are nature movies and these musical things with a hundred people with weird instruments all playing together. They’re all dressed like tools or those weird flipper-beak-blackandwhite eggbeasts and the women make high-pitched noises that somehow manage to only be horrible half the time. Meh. I was wondering if maybe it was some kind of equivalent to our traditional operas but the leads never try to kill each other.
The underwater documentaries are weirdly soothing, for all that they’re creepy as all motherfucks.
Sometimes John has music on but even when the beat is alright it’s always weirdly dissonant. Aliens.
kirvin replied to your post:
In Operas, they try to kill each other all the time.
Yeah, but verbally. How is Karkat meant to understand that? XD They just sing at each other! Where’s the violence, man. Where’s the violinkind, the voicekind? On Alternia “diva” MEANT something okay???
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Karkat: You’ve been watching nature documentaries? Got a favorite alien animal yet? Do any of the humans actively watch with you? And do you feel like you’ve learned anything about the humans or their planet from the nature docs?
BT!Karkat: Eh. Why they show so many one-mouthed mewbeasts, I don’t know. Striped, spotted, maned, they’re still stupid boring meowbeasts. Spend their time boning, stealing laughingbeast kills and failing to catch half their own prey. Show me a cholerbear and we’ll talk.
Manta rays are alright. They look like spaceship more than animals.
I’ve learned that John is weirdly squeamish about parasitic stingbeasts and hagfish.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Rose: Were you the one to show Karkat operas? Because that seems like a very...unique choice that I can’t see any of the other kids making. Was there any reason you (or whoever) chose operas in particular and not, say, My Little Pony?
BT!Rose: We are not showing the alien any anthropomorphic animals until we know for sure it won’t end up in him believing talking beasts really do exist. After all, if other sentient species might exist, it’s perfectly logical to believe they exist on the same planet, and there’s no way to ascertain that his species has the same habit of granting personality and sentience to random cute or majestic beasts when they don’t even seem to have developped a need for pets.
We don’t even know if they even *do* animated pictures.
We are also not showing him anything that showcases our technological advances and might enable him to understand, reverse-engineer, or disable them, or anything he might misconstrue about how relationships and interpersonal conflict are handled on Earth, and TV shows are notoriously unrealistic in sometimes quite poisonous ways.
The opera was merely what was available at the time.
gunmetal-blue asked you:
BT!Roxy: what weapons does your mech use?
BT!Roxy: all of them? hehe, okay. Railguns, plasma gun, rockets, gatling guns, mines, monofilament blades (only knives, hard to keep a charge for longer stuff) EMP bombs, uh what else... theres more but... oh well, itll come back to me in the cockpit.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Rose: Have you had any close calls while piloting against the aliens?
BT!Rose: If I had, it would certainly be classified.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Karkat: How did you feel about that meow-beast chick? I think she might of had a flush-crush on you.
BT!Karkat: No kidding she did, congratulations on your masterful detective work, did you even have to use both eyes? It was an embarrassment and she really needed to move the fuck on already. Glad that now she’ll have to.
I uh think i'll have to split the answers into several posts.
This one's for Battlefield Terra answers.
thingsareswinging asked a question
BT!Dave: what’s your take on your new roommate? Alternatively, if that’s a spoiler, what’s the deal with your shades? A wraparound visor? Did John get you Cyberpunk-Bono’s glasses or something?
BT!Dave: The alien? Am reserving judgment like my judgment is an overpriced hotel at a nerd convention. Not a room to be found for love, money or high class blowjobs. Yup.
Re: my shades, I have this condition known as “the world needs a filter to deal with the incandescence of my gorgeous peepers or else something would burn.” (By something I mean my retinas. Seeing into infrared is awesome, especially when you’re standing like a tool in the sunlight.)
Anonymous asked you:
BT Dad Egbert: Are you as worried as everyone else by John becoming friends with an alien?
BT!dad: To be honest... yes, but I have been worried for him and all the children pretty much nonstop ever since they were born and it did not, alas, abate with age! We have to learn to let them handle things, even when we want nothing more than to intervene before someone gets hurt.
On the other hand I cannot help but be proud of him for reaching out to someone in pain, without distinction of species.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Dirk: What’s the best part about your job?
BT!Dirk:Tinkering with giant robots. Definitely that. Though flying isn’t all bad either.
Anonymous asked you:
BT Karkat- how old are you? Is it weird being around so many adult humans? Also, what’s your opinion of the Condesce?
BT!Karkat: Nine sweeps and a half. Still technically in transitionary training but who cares how smoothly we integrate when we’re just cannon fodder, right? It is definitely weird and unsettling but it was weird being around so many adult trolls, too, and I haven’t seen any adult human culling a younger adult out of hand for disrespect yet, so there’s that. I mean, when they cull me, it definitely won’t be for disrespect. At best the disrespect will be the excuse wrapped around the fact that I got lucky enough to get them to cull me before their docterrorists got around putting those machine healing things in me so they could test me to their bloodpushers’ content.
The Condesce... it’s complicated. I used to admire her so much, and I still do.. but so many parts of our society are fundamentally broken, and either she’s not seeing it, which is bad enough, or she is and she doesn’t care, which should be badass and strong but instead it’s just worse. Most people under her definitely know and don’t care, though.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Jade: What’s your mech’s name and why did you name it that?
remington!! because they make my favorite rifles. sometimes i call him remmie but hes a boy mech so he doesnt like that much. (i dunno why hes a boy mech btw theyre all built the same and roses is def. a girl mech and jakes too, go figure)
siadea asked you:
BT Hass - Has anyone found out WHY the alien came to Earth in such a dramatic fashion? It seems like it may be important. BT Rose - What makes Taurus especially remarkable in combat?
BT!Hass: Why, we did ask John. The lad reported at length, and complained about twice as much, too. What it comes down to is that Karkat was hoping to use his potential success as a bargaining chip to rescue a friend from what John reports feels like certain doom. Important to Karkat, certainly, but personal motives are of little interest to Earth; we were more interested in what we could glean of their society from it.
BT!Rose: Alas, that information is classified. :)
Anonymous asked you:
BT Karkat: what’s the weirdest thing about humans that you’ve seen so far? Does John do anything that really makes you angry (other than caring too much, lol).
BT Karkat: the weird ritualisting insistence on drenching themselves and rubbing weird gluey stuff into their skins while collectively naked is starting to get to me a bit. I mean, there’s clean, and then there’s I’m developing a fucking rash from rubbing so much you asswipe. The sleeping on concupiscent platforms in a common room as well, holy mirthforsaken crap. Even if you discard the hilariously inappropriate concupiscent bit, they just all lay there and go unconscious for several hours in a row in other people’s presence, and they get so used to it other people can come and go and they’ll keep sleeping. I mean up in ships we do that anyway, but that’s why Fleet recuperacoons lock from the inside. I guess if they’re all inclade, though... I don’t know if all humans do that, sure hope not, it’s easier to just think mine are just freaks.
John is pissing me off by sulking about Rose and his friends, and also by generally being an asshole just because he thinks it’s funny, and finding himself funny (now that’s a crime), and being so dismissive of just about everything he doesn’t want to hear about, and...
... I guess i’m still a bit angry that he doesn’t force me to do things, just patiently waits and makes me force myself. We’re not equals but he could let me keep my fucking pride and not just assume i’ll eventually bend over because we both know he has all the cards in hand, fuck. I’m starting to think he doesn’t even notice, though.
theunvanquishedzims asked you:
BT!Noir: Do you hate Karkat because you hate aliens in general on principle, or do you hate him specially because of what he did to your men? BT!Karkat: How do you think your life would be different if Roxy had been the one to shoot you down and bring you in?
BT!Noir: hate is a big motherfucking word. just wary of the thing, as i goddamned well should being it’s a fucking alien who we know jack shit about. did you see the claws? and then those morons get all aw but its been nice recently at me, yeah, it’d be even nicer dead. ‘ch.
BT!Karkat: oh dear jegusfuck i would totally be her “pet” by now. My hair would never recover from that amount of ruffling. I’d also possibly be even closer to a nervous breakdown than I already am.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Roxy and Jade: If you were in charge of Karkat, what would you do for his wardrobe/sleeping place?
BT!Roxy and Jade: PLAY DRESS UP. XD XD XD okay now seriously we’d probably ask the guys for some things and ask an adult to go buy him some shirts and pants and underthings. Sleeping spots though, uh. Hm. I guess we could get Mom’s apartment, she’s not here a lot anyway and has a bed at the infirmary, but that would mean locking Dad out as well, and then one of us could sleep on the couch in her tiny living room and Karkat would have the bedroom. I guess. Hm. :/
duosthefangirl asked you:
BT!Karkat: Do the humans do anything that is similar/same to trolls?
BT!Karkat: A surprising amount of things actually. The differences are more noticeable but considering they could have been squids from outer space with no concept of romance it’s pretty staggering. I have some trouble placing some of their colors as well — is roxy higher than rose or not??? maybe her shade being so bright means she’s a wildcard??? I don’t get it!!) but overall it just amuses me thinking of all those pants-on-head, red-empress alien tropes. Bluebloods top everywhere, bunch of overbearing assholes.
girltypething asked you:
BT!Dad: Whose idea actually was it to clone and cross yourselves to make a batch of superpowered kids? How did you decide how to spec each of them? Were Jane and John given to Nanna at first, or were you going to raise them yourself from the beginning?
BT!Dad: My mother’s, first, though General Harley agreed quickly enough. A lot of it was her idea. Romy was recruited once the decision had been made, and Burt only came into the picture when it was time to find someone to bring in natural fighting potential. We didn’t really decide which child woud get what; they were modified with different combinations of abilities; as I understand it, some alteration took, and some didn’t. A lot of the end result depends on massively layered gene interaction which even now we do not fully understand.
My mother planned at first to raise John and Jane herself, but her political work took a turn for the all-consuming, and while still fully energetic at the time it was hard to predict when or if her forces would decline, and it was decided that their life would be more stable if I were to be their full-time father, and my mother their doting if often busy grandmother. Having the children grow up to resent her for her absences and distractions would have been a catastrophe.
Also, I think, she already suspected she might be assassinated.
BT!Karkat: Do you still think Dirk’s hot, or was that just a passing moment of shirtless-induced weakness?
(( did i say karkat thought dirk was hot? I can’t remember. :???))
azzandra replied to your post: correspondingnerd asked you: Sunlight!Rose: your...
There was that moment where Dirk shows off his rock-hard abs and Karkat looks away real quick. Admiration of hotness was implied.
theunvanquishedzims replied to your post: correspondingnerd asked you: Sunlight!Rose: your...
(Shirtless checking-out after pile-building? Or was he just looking because Dirk was there.)
ahaha wow, i was just thinking Karkat was nervous about being seen looking at people who might be hostile. The checking Dirk out theory makes so much more sense, especially because i WAS thinking that John was jealous of perceived interest from Karkat! the heck, self. XD He wasn’t shirtless, alas, but Karkat has seen him naked several times by now so hey.
Long story short Dirk is a fit and quite attractive young man, though really, all the humans are fit and attractive. Karkat sometimes feels like he fell in a TV series where everyone is trollywood pretty, even the “plain” ones. They’re ALL hot, what is this egregious fuckery???
girltypething asked you: BT!Karkat: You’ve seen John’s blood color, right? What did you think of that?
BT!Karkat: I knew already. You think my so-called allies hadn’t called me over to point and laugh at how much my freak insides probably looked like those poor alien assholes they caught?
Anonymous asked: BT!Equius: How is Nepeta taking the news of Karkat's disappearance? For that matter, how are you? He was your friend, once, wasn't he?
BT!Equius: She is understandably heartbroken, as she still insisted on harboring this silly flush-crush on Vantas. I believe it might be for the best, though, she needed to get over him at some point. Even if his hue hadn’t been a repulsing off-caste one he was still a dead end as far as quadrants went.
The air is much less often profaned with his uncouth language and his utter disrespect for his betters. Lacking in encouragement to disrespect me, I believe the other workers have gone back to a proper appreciation of our respective places in the hierarchy. This is extremely positive. He made it almost impossible to work, being around, I kept breaking far over my alloted quota of
I am glad he is gone.
He wasn’t quadrant material anyway.
Anonymous asked: BT Hass: was there any attempt made at first to negotiate with the aliens? Now that you know slightly more about them, will you attempt to make contact at any point in order to come to terms with them? Or do you believe the only thing you can do is keep fighting until they leave (or earth is conquered, whichever comes first).
BT!Hass: The aliens are not interested in negotiating, lad/lass, and so far none of what Karkat told us or hinted at shows that they would ever be willing to bother. We are a small planet, still mostly confined to our solar system, they’re a galactic empire, now why should they stop? Because we asked nicely? Wish that worked.
Anonymous asked: BTverse Rose- don't you think the aliens' strategy is a little weird? Why don't they just send everything they have all at once and overwhelm your defenses? Do you suspect there's something else going on that you haven't quite cottoned on to yet?
BT!Rose: Of course we are wondering at the reasons behind such careless waste. It would be bad form of us to complain when the sloppiness and slow increase give us time to increase our own weapon capabilities and advance our science.
I have to admit the theory I like the least and which makes the most sense is that they’re being so careless because we are not yet worth the bother of more active antagonism, and because they can afford it. The implications are extremely unpleasant.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: are you curious to see the inside of the human's mecha? maybe to see how it works compared to your own Alternian technology.
BT!Karkat: Might be interesting. It’s likely I won’t understand jack shit of how they even work, seeing how John was totally baffled at mine, and it’s not like i’ll be able to bring back any interesting intel, but for curiosity’s sake...
For curiosity’s sake. Wow. I am so fucking bored.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: Before you were captured, you must've fought against most of the humans, not just john. Were there any that gave you more trouble than the rest? Have any of the kids earned some sort of... maybe respect, based on how well they fight? Had you formed any opinions or impressions of the pilots prior to meeting them in person? and if so was it surprising to learn about how some of the pilots actually behaved?
BT!Karkat: They’re all troublesome to handle. I don’t think one of them is especially worse, they’re all the worst in different ways. Even the cerulean one might not have been dangerous from afar but get in range of its polearms and you’d be kind of fucked.
Everyone was suddenly really good at working together and covering each other’s back when the pink one came waltzing in, though, what a fucking surprise. Now I’ve seen Roxy around, though, I’m not really surprised, she’s mirth-unpredictable and laughssassin stealthy even dirtside. Only lacking the stupid facepaint, I swear to fuck.
She’s oddly non-violent physically speaking but then again most of them are, it’s really weird, only John and Jake and Dave are all that rough with each other, and even then it’s only ever play-fighting. Sometimes Jade will punch an arm or do a chokehold but then she lets them go straight away. I really wonder how long they’ve been a cohort, it’s disturbingly impressive. Maybe all the mediating happens in ways I don’t notice or places I can’t go.
Rose hasn’t even beaten up John for being stupid either, I am baffled as fuck. It’s like she’s waiting on him to talk himself into giving in. Aliens are so goddamn weird. Maybe she’s pale on him; I’m starting to see why, the guy’s a stubbornly delusional clusterfuck in slow-mo.
Anyway; red one was dangerous one on one but orange and purple ones were the ones I was trying to get the other assholes to target the second they came on the battlefield, because even when they didn’t engage directly you could tell something changed with the group coordination. Of course half the time no one fucking listened to me and I had to abscond at high speeds, wow, look at that, Vantas is the only survivor once again, might he perhaps be a coward no it’s called not being suicidal you stupid fucks why does no one ever listen to me.
... Hrrst. Neverfuckingmind.
I wonder if taking Jane out would break John or make him lose it Highblood style.
Anonymous asked: BT!Hass: So the eight kids we know are the only products of your little super soldier project, right? There aren't any stillborns or kids who died in training or battle, right.
BT!Hass: Actually, the losses of fetuses and embryos all happened well before the ninth month! Usually if by the sixth they were still hanging around they were here to stay. We are pretty lucky in that all the children taken complete out of their artificial uteri were not lost while on vacation or dropped from any motorbikes at high speed and we still have the full collection today.
Re: character question meme: Plz no more asking BT Karkat what he’s noticed of the hierarchy/hemospectrum. It’ll come out in fic and besides it’s a lot of confirmation bias in action. Just because the lower hued guys aren’t shy or submissive around their cohort doesn’t mean they’re not low-hued, it just means they’ve been friends a while. Sollux was never shy about telling Eridan to shut the fuck up as kids. It means very little about how the hemospectrum would affect them as adults, in professional settings, or with people they’re meeting for the first time as teenagers or adults.
I’ve also answered the question about what he ships several times in the past; the answer is still Bro<3<3Noir, Dirkc3<3 (John/Jake) and John<3>3Jane and that’s about it. Then again Bro and Noir all but hatemade-out while he was sandwiched between them and John told him Jane was his sistermoirail, so it didn’t take a lot of deductive process. He doesn’t see them gathered as a big group often at all
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat- how quickly are you learning English? Do you understand much of what's being said around you? I bet the kids will be pretty surprised once you know enough words to treat them to one of your colorful pissy rants. Make sure you learn all the swears! All of them!
BTJade: pffhehehe its been one week, anon!!!! right now he can say stupid and dumb and im pretty sure he doesnt even know if theres any difference between the two or what it could be if there was one, hes just willing to believe me that they both apply to john equally. XD
he makes pretty amazing faces though!! like the other day i saw my first ever real life version of DDDDX<
Anonymous asked: i know you said not to ask about BT!Karkat's impressions of the hemospectrum among humans, but I'm confused -- you implied that he DOES think that they have a color hierarchy? but you also mentioned that he is aware that humans all have red blood like his?
The issue here is a mix-up between instinctive and natural things, and things that have been trained or encultured into a person so deeply that they think it’s instinctive or natural, such as a ton of our own cultures out here, where seeing the color red on a sign =>3 thinking danger/stop. The way certain dyes used to be so expensive that only nobles could afford them; when Karkat sees purple he thinks royalty, he doesn’t stop to question it. Just because the aliens have the same blood doesn’t mean they don’t have castes! See, they signal it by the right colors! What do you mean it’s circular reasoning. He’s just not trained as a sociologist/ethnologue, he’s not asking himself that kind of deconstructing question so long as he hasn’t got a reason to check his assumptions.
It’s similar to how no one has yet asked me why Karkat thought pink was OF COURSE a color for girls — answer, he doesn’t think pink = girl, he thinks pink = empress, who just happens to always be a girl.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: After you crashed, but before John pulled you out of your cockpit, did you realize that the mech you'd been fighting had also crashed, or did you think you were alone? Or were you not even thinking about that?
BT!Karkat: Silly me, I was oh so slightly distracted with my — crabdad’s cracked spine, splintered exoskeleton, broken arm, and missing arm. Also the fucking concussion. Frivolous, I know.
(I WAS THINKING OW WHAT THE FUCK BROADSIDED ME A METEOR OW FUCK GONNA THROW UP IT HURTS SO BAD WHY CAN I NOT PASS OUT I WANT TO PASS OUT PLEASE DAD LET ME PASS OUT FUCK STIMULANTS AAAAAHHH)
Anonymous asked: Hey, BT-Karkat. We've heard various opinions on your strange human captors, but how's the food over there?
BT!Karkat: Tons of red meat, no grub at all, the grubloaf is dry as fuck and very likely not grubloaf, they eat way too many plants, fruit is weird but nice enough I guess, and the melty sugary brown stuff on snacks makes me hyper as Sollux before a spectacular mood crash. No one would let me have that dark liquid stuff. :/
I’m glad they don’t insist to put spices on my food and they let me manage with salt, because it’d go from bland and slightly strange to way too weird to swallow. Anyway they don’t starve me and they don’t put tubes down my throat to pour protein in directly, I could have expected way worse. I can deal with slightly weird but ultimately tasteless.
theunvanquishedzims asked: BT!Bro: Ever considered sleeping with Hass?
BT!Bro: Yes. With my dick in hand.
Alas this fine gentleman never really picked up on my signals. Also, way to fuck up our working relationship at the time. Kinda wasn’t used to working with way older dudes who were also the Authority and it’d probably have gone badly. And now, eh, that pony has left Equestria.
Anonymous asked: BT!Bro: It's mentioned in the prequel that you've done a few scenes with your Dommes. Do you identify as a sub or a switch? Also, were all your sexual encounters with Jack Noir just as violent as the first time?
BT!Bro: Switch, it’s fun to change things around some, but on average I like subbing better. It’s just hella hard to find someone who can handle me. Or that I can trust, that part didn’t use to be important but ever since I got the kids, yeah. Also I don’t sub for guys in good and hardcore scenes, but Dommes are in pretty high demand. In the end I top more, but that’s still pretty cool.
Noir... eh. Heh. Most of the time it gets pretty rough, but we can’t afford to get that injured every single time we fuck, you can explain away needing stitches a couple times but after that it gets suspicious and messes with optimal performance. Sometimes it’s almost slow. Which is hilarious as fuck because the second we’re done he gets all what the fuck did you do to me bitch this could almost be construed as vaguely not horrible imma stab you. Messing with his mind is almost better than the fucking part.
The first time I fucked him, though, now that was even more violent than the first time, mostly cause he kept trying to go back on his word, the goddamned weasel.
Anonymous asked: BT!Jane: John's Warhammer uses... a warhammer. Dave's Excalibur uses a sword. What weapon does your mech use?
BT!Jane: Aha. Yes. I suspect you’d figure it out if I told you my mech is named Poseidon. I use staff weapons, often with bladed or barbed ends.
Anonymous asked: BT!Dirk: Are you closer to Rose or Roxy? What distinguishing characteristics about them do you find most endearing, and what characteristics are the most terrifying?
BT!Dirk: That’s kind of asking a kid if they love their mom or their dad more. Not in that either of them have a parental dynamic with me, but in that both dynamics, while different, are equally valuable. Rose makes a much better strategy partner and is calmer to be around; Roxy is good for when i’ve worked too long and need some downtime. I’d be unfair to say i’m closer to Roxy merely because I tend to hang out with her more during downtime. She also worries more and I can’t be as frank with her about the extremes of ... some things.
Okay so Rose is definitely the dad.
girltypething asked: BT!Dave: How often do you get use out of you're augmented vision? From the outside, it seems like more of a hinderance than a help.
BT!Dave: re help yeah atm its not
in full daylight or where i have instruments to do that shit anyway i mean is kinda like tits on a bull
but see another name for infrared vision is heat vision
i can track things by their body heat like in the dark i still see warm and cold stuff and maybe how long someones been gone from somewhere and if the thing blocking normal vision is thin enough and the thing behind it warm enough i still know its there
also when people are like lying and stuff sometimes their body heats or cools differently but i havent learned much about that yet and also shades
i dont care how much use im not getting out of it atm but anyway you cut it thats a genuine superpower
if not really one on par with xray vision yet but hey we cant all be batman
(Psst. Superman is the one with the X-ray vision.)
yeah thats what i said im totally batman only radder superman is a lazy asshole whos had it way too easy and also his costume is lame
im totally batman and supermans lovebaby yep thats me watch out for the laser glares next time i take off my shades cant control the hotness
(No, that’s — oh, I give up.)
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: Were you actually ordered to make that suicidal charge, or did you take the initiative on your own?
BT!kat: All my own cunning, flawless planning there, as demonstrated by its glorious crash-and-burn conclusion.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat, do troll mechs have some sort of escape system that allows the pilot to bail out in case their mech is damaged beyond the point of no return, or does the Navy high command just shrug and say "Oh well. We have reserves."
BT!karkat: Escape into what? The cold void of space? While covered in fluid for even faster cool-down action? Fluid whose oxygen content wouldn’t even be getting renewed anymore? Sounds like a plan to me...
Like you’d even be able to operate anything manually when your fucking lusus is busy dying in your brain.
Also who in the vast reaches of the Horrorterrors’ all-encompassing noodly appendages would even bother combing through battlefield debris (while under possible retaliatory attacks and/or minefields) for solo escape pods, I’d like to fucking know. Maybe if your blood were blue or up, they’d bother taking a look, but even then...
celynbrum replied to your post: BT!Karkat, do troll mechs...
Interesting fact: objects in outer space don’t actually lose heat very quickly. There’s no external substance for it to escape to, so the only heat transferal mechanism is radiation- no convection or conduction at all!
hahaha XD I heard about that actually, but oh stereotypes so long-lived. he’d still end up pretty popsickled at the end...
though really, yeah, he’d die of lack of oxygen and possibly decompression way sooner. HMM.
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: If you were given the opportunity, would you choose to have one of your friends (any of them) join you on earth, even if it meant they would become prisoners of war as well?
BT!Kat: No, what the hell is the matter with you?! What kind of fucking monster-king of selfishness do you take me for?
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: On a scale of 1 to 10, how bored are you?
BT!Kat: A bazillion. I’m answering this, aren’t I?
Anonymous asked: BT!Condesce: Have you ever taken any human's prisoner? Or does it just not seem worth the effort?
BT!Condesce: Human, what the eel is that? If I bothered to reel in every finny alien out here ... ain’t like I got appropriate fishing grounds in my ship for a good nice old-fashioned hunt, and what other porpoise are they ever good for?
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat: Are there circumstances where you'd consider sneaking out of the boy's room while they're asleep? Or asking one of the other boys to escort you somewhere (say bathroom) if John does his sleeping-dead impression? (Have you checked to see of the windows can open?)
BT!Karkat: Sneaking out, no. If the building were on fire I might not wait for them to catch up but I’d at least wake them first. (They might be the only humans even nominally on my side on the whole planet, I’m not getting them killed for nothing. Who cares that it’d also be unmeasurably shitty, it’d be stupid.) The second I break my terms, I’m fair game for Noir and the labs. No. Just... no. I can’t take it a second time.
Dirk and Jake have played chaperone a couple of times already. I guess so long as I don’t leave the building and John only has to holler that’d still be fine.
I don’t want to try the windows. What the fuck for? Either they open and I still have nowhere to escape to, or they don’t and I have to face the fact that I can’t delude myself into comforting ‘maybe I could still...’ lies. And on top of that delicious shit sundae I could even get caught in the act. They probably have cameras on every inch of the building and alarms and what the fuck else. Guard beasts? Stake-lined pits?
Anyway if I want some air there’s always the roof.
(I don’t know if John realizes I could climb down easy, he lets me go right to the edge. So weird to realize how many dimensions he can’t move into because of his disturbing absence of claws... eh. I’d only gain one minute’s lead on him, still not worth it.)
Anonymous asked: BT!Karkat -- if your horns are important for psychic perception and stuff, what happens to trolls who have damaged horns? Did it affect Equius' ability to mindmeld with Nepeta, for example?
BT!Karkat: He does still have one and a half of them left, and they’re not small to start with. He walked into walls pretty much nonstop until his brain retrained itself, but that’s it. He couldn’t have mindmelded on his own even when they were fine, and the psychic gel bypasses the horns entirely. It’s basically like having horn core smeared goopily all over your skull.
A majority of trolls don’t have useable levels of psi, so having bigger or smaller horns doesn’t affect them. Surprise, ten times zero is still zero. It changes their degree of receptiveness to natural telepaths, but not by a huge margin. It’s the horn-sense that’s the most affected. If I lost a horn I’d have a pretty fucking big blind spot on account of my own damn skull getting in the way of the horn I have left. Guess I should count myself lucky they’re too small to provide enough of a lever to break off easily. My skull would probably crack first.
trombonesonmars asked: BT!Karkat: I know you have been generally bored out of your skull, but have you been provided any Earth Human entertainment? Movies, music, etc.? If so, what are your opinions?
BT!Kat: The only programs I’m allowed to watch are nature movies and these musical things with a hundred people with weird instruments all playing together. They’re all dressed like tools or those weird flipper-beak-blackandwhite eggbeasts and the women make high-pitched noises that somehow manage to only be horrible half the time. Meh. I was wondering if maybe it was some kind of equivalent to our traditional operas but the leads never try to kill each other.
The underwater documentaries are weirdly soothing, for all that they’re creepy as all motherfucks.
Sometimes John has music on but even when the beat is alright it’s always weirdly dissonant. Aliens.
kirvin replied to your post:
In Operas, they try to kill each other all the time.
Yeah, but verbally. How is Karkat meant to understand that? XD They just sing at each other! Where’s the violence, man. Where’s the violinkind, the voicekind? On Alternia “diva” MEANT something okay???
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Karkat: You’ve been watching nature documentaries? Got a favorite alien animal yet? Do any of the humans actively watch with you? And do you feel like you’ve learned anything about the humans or their planet from the nature docs?
BT!Karkat: Eh. Why they show so many one-mouthed mewbeasts, I don’t know. Striped, spotted, maned, they’re still stupid boring meowbeasts. Spend their time boning, stealing laughingbeast kills and failing to catch half their own prey. Show me a cholerbear and we’ll talk.
Manta rays are alright. They look like spaceship more than animals.
I’ve learned that John is weirdly squeamish about parasitic stingbeasts and hagfish.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Rose: Were you the one to show Karkat operas? Because that seems like a very...unique choice that I can’t see any of the other kids making. Was there any reason you (or whoever) chose operas in particular and not, say, My Little Pony?
BT!Rose: We are not showing the alien any anthropomorphic animals until we know for sure it won’t end up in him believing talking beasts really do exist. After all, if other sentient species might exist, it’s perfectly logical to believe they exist on the same planet, and there’s no way to ascertain that his species has the same habit of granting personality and sentience to random cute or majestic beasts when they don’t even seem to have developped a need for pets.
We don’t even know if they even *do* animated pictures.
We are also not showing him anything that showcases our technological advances and might enable him to understand, reverse-engineer, or disable them, or anything he might misconstrue about how relationships and interpersonal conflict are handled on Earth, and TV shows are notoriously unrealistic in sometimes quite poisonous ways.
The opera was merely what was available at the time.
gunmetal-blue asked you:
BT!Roxy: what weapons does your mech use?
BT!Roxy: all of them? hehe, okay. Railguns, plasma gun, rockets, gatling guns, mines, monofilament blades (only knives, hard to keep a charge for longer stuff) EMP bombs, uh what else... theres more but... oh well, itll come back to me in the cockpit.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Rose: Have you had any close calls while piloting against the aliens?
BT!Rose: If I had, it would certainly be classified.
Anonymous asked you:
BT!Karkat: How did you feel about that meow-beast chick? I think she might of had a flush-crush on you.
BT!Karkat: No kidding she did, congratulations on your masterful detective work, did you even have to use both eyes? It was an embarrassment and she really needed to move the fuck on already. Glad that now she’ll have to.