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shitty day, and i get to do it again tomorrow.
i hate groups of people. i hate making myself apologize for mishandling how to tell a queen nonstop-outdoors-voice "of course i have something to say about everything, over everyone, even when the thing i have to say is how it doesn't apply to me," that maybe she should rein it in!, but SHE doesn't apparently realize it's her cue for apologizing about 1) knowing she was doing it yet keeping on doing it anyway (becuz thats just teh way she is lulz) and 2) saying she was so angry she was about to hit me.
Also it's just the way she is and she isn't going to change for anything or anyone!!!, but she totes has the right to get angry when not shown the "appropriate respect." it goes both ways. Respect my right not to get totally fucking overloaded on nothing but pure noise. You're not the only one in the entire fucking world, big news.
This group is already chatty, and loud, and there's this other girl with an unfortunate high-pitched, nasal whine of a voice but at least she doesn't monopolize over 40% ( I am. Not. Fucking. Kidding.) of the speaking time of a group comprised of TWELVE people. I do not have the spoons.
I know I was supposed to stay three months with this group but I don't care how friendly she otherwise is, I did more than my fucking time with bullies and trying to intimidate me with that violence she totally cannot control and which will be my own damn fault if/when she unleashes it on me fucking counts as such, if tomorrow she isn't curbing herself I'm just going to leave, I don't give a fuck I'll be "running away." I'm not staying in a situation like this.
I used to live like this every day all week from kindergarten to university, the noise and the isolation and the constant aggression and the actual physical violence, how the fuck did I ever manage.
oh wait, i never managed.
I'm not going back, no, no, you can't make me.
Anyone has gundam wing fluff to link me? maybe ff7 or team seven.
i hate groups of people. i hate making myself apologize for mishandling how to tell a queen nonstop-outdoors-voice "of course i have something to say about everything, over everyone, even when the thing i have to say is how it doesn't apply to me," that maybe she should rein it in!, but SHE doesn't apparently realize it's her cue for apologizing about 1) knowing she was doing it yet keeping on doing it anyway (becuz thats just teh way she is lulz) and 2) saying she was so angry she was about to hit me.
Also it's just the way she is and she isn't going to change for anything or anyone!!!, but she totes has the right to get angry when not shown the "appropriate respect." it goes both ways. Respect my right not to get totally fucking overloaded on nothing but pure noise. You're not the only one in the entire fucking world, big news.
This group is already chatty, and loud, and there's this other girl with an unfortunate high-pitched, nasal whine of a voice but at least she doesn't monopolize over 40% ( I am. Not. Fucking. Kidding.) of the speaking time of a group comprised of TWELVE people. I do not have the spoons.
I know I was supposed to stay three months with this group but I don't care how friendly she otherwise is, I did more than my fucking time with bullies and trying to intimidate me with that violence she totally cannot control and which will be my own damn fault if/when she unleashes it on me fucking counts as such, if tomorrow she isn't curbing herself I'm just going to leave, I don't give a fuck I'll be "running away." I'm not staying in a situation like this.
I used to live like this every day all week from kindergarten to university, the noise and the isolation and the constant aggression and the actual physical violence, how the fuck did I ever manage.
oh wait, i never managed.
I'm not going back, no, no, you can't make me.
Anyone has gundam wing fluff to link me? maybe ff7 or team seven.
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Wish I could think of any fic to send you you didn't already probably have. (Everyone I know seems to be going for angst and/or new fandoms lately.)
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And it is not "running away," any more than it would be running away to get off the train tracks when you can see the train coming. Removing yourself from harm's way is SELF-PRESERVATION, which is different from cowardice. Augh.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.
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happykats plz. Paradise reward worlds and game won and also possibly poly things, but mostly happy karkats. ;_;
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ETA, 2:00am: The fic is now 3,500 words and I think I see the ending. I am also going to bed now. But barring unexpected catastrophe, I should have this finished and posted tomorrow!
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Walk on the Ocean: 4,200 words. Karkat wanders away from the chaotic post-game reunion/victory party to relax on the shore of Jade's island. Jade and Dave find him there.
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... welp forgot to friendslock it. argh. whatever. ~___~
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Je n'ai pas de fluff parce que je lurk coté du fandom TeenWolf et que je connais rien à Homestuck, par contre j'ai une chose importante à dire :
Moi j'ai grandis au fandom avec tes fics Gundam, et je conserve précieusement mon aquarelle de la Team 7 d'une dédicace de Japan Expo, et à chaque fois que tu postes un morceau d'histoire, ça me donne le sourire et de la motivation pour me lever le lendemain.
*hug*
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Do you want a fluffy Aerith/Tifa doujinshi I scanned some time ago? It's here (http://uploading.com/files/get/fb14fda7/%255Bff7%255D%2Baerithtifa.zip).
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All of my favourite fics weren't all that fluffy *coughs* Pyrzm, Sunhawk, Jade, GW_ShenLong *coughs* but you might find some in the archives of Nanashi~ Too bad A3's search function is down otherwise you could just put "fluff" in :P
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Peopel are noisey assholes. I have not had the spoons to deal with them for.... months.
The best advice I can give is to just smile and keep smiling. it's harder to get bad at someone who's smiling and being sympathetic.
It also makes it harder to start crying if you're smiling.
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I've been reading my way through Captain Awkward's advice blog (http://captainawkward.com/) recently, it is weirdly cathartic. And she also gives really good advice, that's applicable to everyday life.
You might have seen this already, but here is some NSFW Sakura/Hinata porn (http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/index?tags=slj).
If you know anything at all about FFXII's Fran and Balthier, The Naming of Cats by LadySisyphus / Moonpants (http://w2.moonpants.org/fic/namingofcats.html)is sweet and uncomplicated and fluffy in an IC way.
Miko's AO3 (http://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/). Contains a lot of Homestuck porn, and a little bit of GW too.
Ponderosa has a FFVII tag on her website (http://idlehands.ponderosa121.com/category/final-fantasy/final-fantasy-vii/), and her writing is generally really good... But not at all fluffy, no.
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Hon? Is this group a study thing? Because that bitch saying that would be my cue to walk up to the nearest friendly/approachable/safe lecturer or administrator and say "She has threatened me with assault and I will not work with her." They've got to have anti-violence policies.
*more hugs*
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I know it is stressful and exhausting. that sucks.
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~Hugs.~
For recs, I have ... um... Oh, here, Heero Yuy and the Frisbee of Doom: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8431405/1/Heero_Yuy_and_the_Frisbee_of_Doom. And the author does have a few other things that I think are fluff, 1X2 and 3X4 for the most part, but there are fics with other pairings. Uh, I don't read fluff apparently. ~Looks through her GW bookmarks again.~ Nope. I mean, yeah, some of Sunhawk's stuff is fluff, but I'm sure you already know that, lol.
As for Naruto recs, er, can it be a series that has fluff /and/ angst? The Avalanche series by Branch: http://archiveofourown.org/series/9781.
Sorry I don't have more to rec you XD And a little piece of advice (feel free to ignore this) for dealing with Loud-Bitch (as she's been dubbed in my head). It's probably the hardest thing to do in the world, but what they really really hate is when you ignore them. Even if they yell. Even if they get in your face and yell. You just pass your gaze over where they're standing like they're not even there, and employ selective hearing at the same time, so that everything they say is white noise. Yeah, it can actually be done, promise. Most of those loud people are just being loud, and won't actually follow through on their threats. And if she /does/ actually hit you? Hit back. Hard. Okay, I'm done now. Sorry your day sucked!!
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I'm so sorry you had to go though that. ;__;
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