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Entry tags:
Monthly Word Count - April
TOTAL: 15 236
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh
*flopded* T____________T evilest writer's block is evilest.
POSTED
-Demon Patrol chapter 21 (6 491 words)
-Better the second Time - Latula/Mituna almost-porn (641 words)
-Covalent 'verse: Rules of Engaging with a Chest Werewolf (John♠Karkat chatlog) (465 words)
WORKS IN PROGRESS
-Demon patrol chapter 22 (5 042 words)
-Pale Bro/Dave/Karkat trollstuck porno (114 words) (stuck. soooo stuck.)
-Bro/Karkat ficlet (abandoned? :/ inspiration lost) (598 words)
-Covalent 'verse: John♦Vriska (abandoned cause pacing sucks, but i'll probably reuse the ideas when i've figured it out better) (777 words)
-Covalent 'verse: Kanaya, Calliope and Caliborn, pesterlog + prose (1 062 words)
--
Demon Patrol chapter 22
--
Dave Strider @turntechgodhead
#springcleaning yo peeps who wanna feast their eyes on this choice domestic babe in an apron and authentic feather duster http://...
Dave snaps another pouty picture, uploads it, then puts the phone down five minutes and finishes dusting his vinyl records shelf.
He is totally wearing an apron. The feather duster is synthetic though. Neon green. Welp.
It's a nice afternoon outside; all his windows are open wide to let in a breeze, though since they're all facing the same size of the building he'd only get a real one going if he opened the front door too.
Then again there's a lot of loose paper he hasn't put away yet, so he probably shouldn't.
@turntechgodhead LOSE THE SHIRT YEEEHA
man ur cute @turntechgodhead
@turntechgodhead #gayyyyyyyyyyyyy
@turntechgodhead ok good now the same in NOTHING but an apron ;3
@turntechgodhead Where's Karkat???
Yeah, ever since Karkat's follower count passed his, he's been getting followers through him, but they're here mostly for more domestic demon shenanigans. Pssh. What about following Dave for Dave? Posers. Noobs.
He snaps a picture of Karkat sitting up on the window seat gazing at the sky and scratching idly at the tendon bits under his knee spur, and attaches it to his reply.
#fuckyeahpetdemon guess whos slacking while others toil endlessly to render his living arrangements as dust free as humanly possible http://...
Fifteen seconds later he's getting pinged back.
@turntechgodhead WANT MY HELP? SURE THING. I COULD GET RID OF THOSE POINTLESS DUST TRAPS FOR YOU *AND* FURTHER MY UNDERSTANDING OF GRAVITY. HOW'S THAT FOR EFFICIENCY.
@cruorGuardian touch my jar collection and you will be its replacement
@turntechgodhead SHOULD I EVEN MENTION HOW EASY IT'S GOING TO FIND A JAR I CAN FIT IN.
@cruorGuardian seein no problem here bro if you dont fit in a big one i can fit you into many small ones easy
@cruorGuardian did u see my katana ps i got a katana did i mention that
@turntechgodhead YOU MEAN CHEAP IRON CENTRAL? YEAH, GO AHEAD. THAT'LL BE FUNNY.
@cruorGuardian oi oi its so not you wouldnt call it cheap if you knew how much it flattened my wallet k
@turntechgodhead BOY HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
@turntechgodhead *HONEY*... IT DOESN'T EVEN STING WHEN I TOUCH IT.
@turntechgodhead I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S MADE OF BUT IRON DOESN'T SEEM TO BE A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF IT.
Dave takes a quick selfie of his own sad pout and uploads it. He hears Karkat huff quietly through his nose and imagines him smiling at his phone. Maybe smirking in smug victory. Brat.
They're five steps away from each other. Dave guesses he could turn around and talk to him directly, too.
Eh. He likes boosting Karkat's ego, and nothing does that like winning an argument in front of his adoring masses of fans.
Karkat calling him honey, even if it's with the utmost derision... It's giving him this pang of awkward yearning, of "I wish." If he pretended hard enough that it's nice, though, he could totally tease him for that choice of endearment. (why not darling while youre at it you dork <3)
He spends a whole and entire second gazing soulfully at the word before he makes himself refresh the page so it's not visible without scrolling anymore. Pff. How stupid.
Here he thought the dramatic sorry-for-myself, finding-tragic-meaning-in-an-abandoned-chewing-gum-wrapper stage was a byproduct of being a teenager at the time. Welp. Sorry, Jane.
He actually did write her three-years-older glory a rap where the words MILFness and I Crave A Woman Not A Girl featured prominently, along with eyes both cornflower and cerulean. At least he hasn't written Karkat anything that embarrassing yet.
He wonders when so many of his dead things in jars go relegated to boxes and corners behind other trinkets. (Was it at the same time he figured out that cables everywhere across the floor were a dudebro hazard and started laying them out smarter?) He takes out the jars to dust, and then spreads them out properly, so they're all nicely visible. Ahh, his Janus kitten fetus. Hey there little guy.
Dusting gets almost meditative after a while, but there's a finite amount of apartment to flay, and he has just realized, doing the ladder, that if he washes the floor first and then does the loft he'll have to do the floor again.
Sigh.
He climbs, strips the comforter of its quilt cover, and the sheets off the futon, rolls them up to chuck to the ground. Might as well wash them today while he's at it. Okay, and this is trash, that has a designated spot just five inches farther on the shelf, these cables only need twenty seconds to untangle and wind up properly...
He shuffles his way on his knees around the futon, head bowed, clearing out the floor.
"Hey, Karkat, gonna have to dismantle your nest to wash, okay?"
Ow, his spine is going to hurt soon. Stupid slanted ceiling. He plucks out the marshmallows to deposit them safely in the center of the bed, moves Roxy's laptop that Karkat has kept since the hospital next to it, tugs a blanket free, throws it overboard, goes back for the next.
He really should have expected the dildo to tumble out eventually. Yet when it rolls to a stop against his knee in all its silvery glory he can only stare at it.
"Huh."
Okay, does he still have cloth to pick it up with... looks like it all went overboard. Haha. Damn it.
He's being ridiculous, it's not like Karkat uses it in any way that would make it gross or otherwise boundary-breaking to touch. He still uses the bottom flap of his apron as a shield between his fingers and the base.
Really, nothing to freak out about! He lifts it, blasé as hell, drawls, "Wow, haven't seen it in a while, when I think of how often you forgot it in plain sight, wonder wh--"
"Give it to me."
Karkat rushes up the ladder, which rattles with a noise like a herd of rhinos over a rickety bridge. He glares at Dave, eyes glowing, wings folded cramping-tight.
"Haha, c'mon, bro, like you care what I... think of..."
Karkat snatches the dildo out of his hand and jumps straight off the ladder. Dave is left sitting on his haunches, trying to tell himself that this wasn't a "if I could blush I'd be blushing" face.
Whoa. Um.
Whoa.
@tentacletherapist rose rose you evil fiend from hell *i think hes started actually using it*
@turntechgodhead Hmm? What could you be referring to?
@tentacletherapist NEVER MIND.
--
Bro/Dave/Kat Pale Porno
--
Hovering, Karkat doesn't know where to look.
"Pretend you're a character from that novel or something. Do the panther laying down with supple meowbeast grace--"
"You keep saying shit about my books, we're going to end up filming an ashen flick," Karkat grumbles, and yelps when Bro winds an arm around his waist and pulls him down half on top of him.
"Shit yeah, this is the life."
"I almost bit your face!"
Dev can't see it but he knows exactly what kind of patting motion his moirail just employed on Karkat's shorts-clad ass purely by the way he squeaks.
"I have such a pale boner right now," Bro says, and sighs happily.
--
Bro/Kat ficlet
--
Bro doesn't think there was ever a time he wasn't aware of the mountain-sized crush Dave's friend-neighbor had on him. Flustered stammering, blushing -- oh, as the years went by the kid-now-teen started to learn how to keep up a line of banter even when distracted, but considering the distraction was more and more often Bro's body, yeah, stealthy he wasn't.
He's never been interested. He's no pedo. It's flattering, though, funny. Kind of cute. And now that Karkat is over twenty and back from college where he probably purged his adolescent hormones clean with a series of troll and human peeps, it's totally fair to tease the hell out of him about it.
"Nice skirt, Bro," says a gravelly-voiced asshole with just enough sarcasm in it to make Bro whirl, a hand on his hip and his chin up, and--
Holy shit.
"Damn straight it is," he says, eyes dragged down the wide chest in front of him, down to narrow hips and the tight fit at the crotch of troll-cut pants. The legs are strong, the arms -- when going back up -- nicely corded; Bro is taller, but this dude is thicker all over, solid with muscle, a wall of a man.
The jaw is squarer, but it's still Karkat.
"Let me guess, you were Djing at some bar with a crossdressing night, and you were too lazy to change when you got home."
Fuck, the quirk of those smirking lips.
"Also it's been like six months since I freaked out Dave," Bro says, bland-voiced somehow.
Karkat (how is that Karkat) looks him up and down, clinical almost, and snorts. "Yeah, that'll work. That poor asshole is so vanilla, one wonders how you're his lusus."
The only thing missing is stubble, but trolls don't do stubble much, to Bro's eternal regret.
Fuck.
That sure is a ping on his fuckable radar. Be just his luck if he got interested just when the brat isn't.
"Like you're not just as vanilla as he is, kiddo," he drawls -- awgh, shit, the 'kiddo' just slipped out. "All that flailing and fluster you did..." Yeah, he's on a good path to cockblock himself here, even if Karkat still --
The kid (so not a kid now) looks up, mouth folded down tight at the corners in some expression Bro can't read, and then he goes, with a hint of stubbornly ignored stammer, "Being vanilla and not wanting your kink spread out in public are not anywhere close to being the same thing."
Yeah, so. The way he's staring straight into Bro's shades? That's a come-on. It's not 'iyaan our hands brushed against each other I must escape to the bathroom and flail for an hour', it's an offer, mature, clear-cut. Wanna fuck?
Yeah, sure.
Bro lets himself smile.
"I'd ask for a demonstration of the differences, but I think it's rude to do that without even a dance first."
--
Covalent: John&Vriska, first time after the end of the game
--
-- ectoBiologist [EB] started trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] --
EB: vriska
AG: Wow!
AG: Do my eyes deceive me? The great John Egbert, lowering himself to talking to a 8ig not-nice meanie like me?
AG: ... How are you even contacting me right now, I thought we were out of the game!! Is this another FRIGGING DREAM8U88LE???
EB: iss taht you
EB: in the canyon
EB: house
EB: it loks lik your house
AG: What the heck is wrong with your typing a8ility?
AG: Are you drunk?
EB: claws
EB: getting in thenway
EB: ive got caws Vriska
EB: cLaws
EB: ivegot claws and thgiugn
EB: rhings
EB: things
EB: its my housebuut not my house and i think i have hornsn?
EB: everything echoes weird
EB: the leters on the screen areweird
AG: Are you a troll?!
AG: Huh, that's. Unexpected.
AG: Not a 8ig deal though. You'll get the hang of your newly superior 8eing in a minute. Unless you're reaaaaaaaally lame.
AG: Is the video feature of the memos still working? I can't find the option on mine. Or are you actually outside??
AG: Holy shit, where did that new hive come from? Is that you? John?
AG: Okay, I see someone waving. That had 8ETTER 8e you.
EB: howdy neighbor.
AG: ...
AG: John, who 8lew a chunk out of your wall?
EB: i think i did?
EB: but not like with the breath i think
EB: i pushed with my head i think and then splat. welp.
EB: i was drowning in snot!! urgh
EB: andnhaveing really fucked up dreams where i
EB: killed my friends
AG: Well, if you're a troll now, what else would you expect?
AG: What color are you?
AG: JOOOOOOOOHN.
EB: my eyes are blueish
AG: Well then. The higher on the spectrum, the more violent the dreams. Everyone knows that. What do you expect me to do about it?
EB: i don't know
EB: nothng i guess
EB: i'm just
EB: you're nearby and i guess equius also is but i don't know him at all
EB: and i want to see someone but at the same time i really don't
EB: so
EB: i guess it's cool knowing you're nearby but not coming over
EB: where i could
EB: i don't know what i could do but i
EB: can't forget the dreams
AG: ........
AG: Right.
AG: I'm coming over.
--
Covalent: Kanaya, Calliope and Caliborn
--
-- uranianUmbra [UU] started trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --
UU: hUllo! i hope i'm not distUrbing yoU?
UU: i don't think we have talked like this before, so jUst in case, this is calliope! ^u^ i Used to be a cherUb.
GA: Ah You Are The Muse Of Space One
GA: Not The Horrible One
UU: ^U^ hahaha! yes, yoU are qUite correct.
UU: he *is* pretty horrible. i feel i shoUld apologize in advance for what i'm aboUt to ask yoU, even if yoU decline, becaUse my brother is a pain merely to contemplate as it is.
GA: Rest Assured I Will Not Hold A Grudge Over Merely Having To Contemplate The Existence Of An Unpleasant Person
GA: If I Were The Kind Of Person Who Did My Contact List Would Be A Whole Lot Emptier
GA: And My Life More Boring Though At Least Probably Simpler I Suppose
GA: And Less Aggravating
GA: Um
GA: Ask Away
UU: i shoUld precise that i wanted to get to know you better entirely oUtside of any transaction!
UU: it's jUst that this latest happenstance precipitated my need for someone of yoUr talents.
GA: Yes
GA: This Explanation Clarified Exactly Nothing But I Feel It Explained That Nothing Very Nicely
UU: u_u;
GA: I Think My Sarcasm Detector Has Gotten Calibrated Strangely From All That Time With Rose
GA: My Apologies If I Inadvertently Misjudged It
UU: no worries, I *was* rambling quite a bit there!
UU: alright! the short version.
UU: i happen to be in need of clothes.
UU: or more exactly, i do have clothes, they just happen to be qUite horrendoUsly bUllet-ridden.
UU: also zombie-chewed. which makes them quite hard to wear.
UU: see, i did not have the knack of going intangible while bringing them along from the start, and as i have previoUsly said, my brother is a total berk.
UU: oh, bUt i will be compensating yoU for yoUr hard work, of coUrse! it woUld be quite selfish of me to presUme Upon oUr mUtUal acquaintanceship that way.
GA: Oh Its Okay I Do Own Quite A Few Metric Fucktons Of Fabrics I Would Never Use Without Someone To Use Them For
UU: no, no, i insist! it's only natUral that I pay for laboUr and yoUr expertise as well as the materials Used.
UU: it woUldn't feel right otherwise. :u
GA: Okay Then
GA: Whats Your Brothers Relevance To This
GA: I Mean Apart From Causing The Bullet Holes But That Seems To Be Quite Done And Over With
UU: oh, that. u_u;;;
UU: see, the last time i left him alone in oUr hive, that gigantic plonker managed to breach oUr own defenses going looking for zombies to shoot. i found him oUt of mUnitions in a precatioUs position on the roof with oUr hive totally overrUn! the cleanUp and repairs took *ages*.
UU: so if it isn't too mUch of an imposition, i woUld prefer to bring him along, thoUgh it woUld be best if yoU had some kind of cellar or dUngeon-like room to stick him into for the dUration.
UU: if yoU don't think yoU can handle his presence, I guess I will just leave him home, but...
GA: I
GA: See
GA: I Dont Have A Dungeon Sadly Enough
GA: But I Do Have A Chainsaw
GA: And Karkat Did Mention He Was Pulling For Eventual Rehabilitation Which I Think Is Hoping Way Too Much But I Wouldnt Like The Sad Barkbeast Faces He Would Make If I Didnt Even Try
GA: So
UU: ^u^!! thank yoU!!!!!!!!!!!
GA: Come When Youre Ready I Guess
UU: we'll be there in two minutes. ^u^
-- uranianUmbra [UU] stopped trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --
GA: Wait
GA: I Didnt Mean
GA: Oh Well I Guess I Will Stuff All My Precious Things In A Closet And Lock It Surely That Can Be Accomplished In Two Minutes
GA: Dot Dot Dot
GA: One Minute Now
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh
*flopded* T____________T evilest writer's block is evilest.
POSTED
-Demon Patrol chapter 21 (6 491 words)
-Better the second Time - Latula/Mituna almost-porn (641 words)
-Covalent 'verse: Rules of Engaging with a Chest Werewolf (John♠Karkat chatlog) (465 words)
WORKS IN PROGRESS
-Demon patrol chapter 22 (5 042 words)
-Pale Bro/Dave/Karkat trollstuck porno (114 words) (stuck. soooo stuck.)
-Bro/Karkat ficlet (abandoned? :/ inspiration lost) (598 words)
-Covalent 'verse: John♦Vriska (abandoned cause pacing sucks, but i'll probably reuse the ideas when i've figured it out better) (777 words)
-Covalent 'verse: Kanaya, Calliope and Caliborn, pesterlog + prose (1 062 words)
--
Demon Patrol chapter 22
--
Dave Strider @turntechgodhead
#springcleaning yo peeps who wanna feast their eyes on this choice domestic babe in an apron and authentic feather duster http://...
Dave snaps another pouty picture, uploads it, then puts the phone down five minutes and finishes dusting his vinyl records shelf.
He is totally wearing an apron. The feather duster is synthetic though. Neon green. Welp.
It's a nice afternoon outside; all his windows are open wide to let in a breeze, though since they're all facing the same size of the building he'd only get a real one going if he opened the front door too.
Then again there's a lot of loose paper he hasn't put away yet, so he probably shouldn't.
@turntechgodhead LOSE THE SHIRT YEEEHA
man ur cute @turntechgodhead
@turntechgodhead #gayyyyyyyyyyyyy
@turntechgodhead ok good now the same in NOTHING but an apron ;3
@turntechgodhead Where's Karkat???
Yeah, ever since Karkat's follower count passed his, he's been getting followers through him, but they're here mostly for more domestic demon shenanigans. Pssh. What about following Dave for Dave? Posers. Noobs.
He snaps a picture of Karkat sitting up on the window seat gazing at the sky and scratching idly at the tendon bits under his knee spur, and attaches it to his reply.
#fuckyeahpetdemon guess whos slacking while others toil endlessly to render his living arrangements as dust free as humanly possible http://...
Fifteen seconds later he's getting pinged back.
@turntechgodhead WANT MY HELP? SURE THING. I COULD GET RID OF THOSE POINTLESS DUST TRAPS FOR YOU *AND* FURTHER MY UNDERSTANDING OF GRAVITY. HOW'S THAT FOR EFFICIENCY.
@cruorGuardian touch my jar collection and you will be its replacement
@turntechgodhead SHOULD I EVEN MENTION HOW EASY IT'S GOING TO FIND A JAR I CAN FIT IN.
@cruorGuardian seein no problem here bro if you dont fit in a big one i can fit you into many small ones easy
@cruorGuardian did u see my katana ps i got a katana did i mention that
@turntechgodhead YOU MEAN CHEAP IRON CENTRAL? YEAH, GO AHEAD. THAT'LL BE FUNNY.
@cruorGuardian oi oi its so not you wouldnt call it cheap if you knew how much it flattened my wallet k
@turntechgodhead BOY HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
@turntechgodhead *HONEY*... IT DOESN'T EVEN STING WHEN I TOUCH IT.
@turntechgodhead I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S MADE OF BUT IRON DOESN'T SEEM TO BE A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF IT.
Dave takes a quick selfie of his own sad pout and uploads it. He hears Karkat huff quietly through his nose and imagines him smiling at his phone. Maybe smirking in smug victory. Brat.
They're five steps away from each other. Dave guesses he could turn around and talk to him directly, too.
Eh. He likes boosting Karkat's ego, and nothing does that like winning an argument in front of his adoring masses of fans.
Karkat calling him honey, even if it's with the utmost derision... It's giving him this pang of awkward yearning, of "I wish." If he pretended hard enough that it's nice, though, he could totally tease him for that choice of endearment. (why not darling while youre at it you dork <3)
He spends a whole and entire second gazing soulfully at the word before he makes himself refresh the page so it's not visible without scrolling anymore. Pff. How stupid.
Here he thought the dramatic sorry-for-myself, finding-tragic-meaning-in-an-abandoned-chewing-gum-wrapper stage was a byproduct of being a teenager at the time. Welp. Sorry, Jane.
He actually did write her three-years-older glory a rap where the words MILFness and I Crave A Woman Not A Girl featured prominently, along with eyes both cornflower and cerulean. At least he hasn't written Karkat anything that embarrassing yet.
He wonders when so many of his dead things in jars go relegated to boxes and corners behind other trinkets. (Was it at the same time he figured out that cables everywhere across the floor were a dudebro hazard and started laying them out smarter?) He takes out the jars to dust, and then spreads them out properly, so they're all nicely visible. Ahh, his Janus kitten fetus. Hey there little guy.
Dusting gets almost meditative after a while, but there's a finite amount of apartment to flay, and he has just realized, doing the ladder, that if he washes the floor first and then does the loft he'll have to do the floor again.
Sigh.
He climbs, strips the comforter of its quilt cover, and the sheets off the futon, rolls them up to chuck to the ground. Might as well wash them today while he's at it. Okay, and this is trash, that has a designated spot just five inches farther on the shelf, these cables only need twenty seconds to untangle and wind up properly...
He shuffles his way on his knees around the futon, head bowed, clearing out the floor.
"Hey, Karkat, gonna have to dismantle your nest to wash, okay?"
Ow, his spine is going to hurt soon. Stupid slanted ceiling. He plucks out the marshmallows to deposit them safely in the center of the bed, moves Roxy's laptop that Karkat has kept since the hospital next to it, tugs a blanket free, throws it overboard, goes back for the next.
He really should have expected the dildo to tumble out eventually. Yet when it rolls to a stop against his knee in all its silvery glory he can only stare at it.
"Huh."
Okay, does he still have cloth to pick it up with... looks like it all went overboard. Haha. Damn it.
He's being ridiculous, it's not like Karkat uses it in any way that would make it gross or otherwise boundary-breaking to touch. He still uses the bottom flap of his apron as a shield between his fingers and the base.
Really, nothing to freak out about! He lifts it, blasé as hell, drawls, "Wow, haven't seen it in a while, when I think of how often you forgot it in plain sight, wonder wh--"
"Give it to me."
Karkat rushes up the ladder, which rattles with a noise like a herd of rhinos over a rickety bridge. He glares at Dave, eyes glowing, wings folded cramping-tight.
"Haha, c'mon, bro, like you care what I... think of..."
Karkat snatches the dildo out of his hand and jumps straight off the ladder. Dave is left sitting on his haunches, trying to tell himself that this wasn't a "if I could blush I'd be blushing" face.
Whoa. Um.
Whoa.
@tentacletherapist rose rose you evil fiend from hell *i think hes started actually using it*
@turntechgodhead Hmm? What could you be referring to?
@tentacletherapist NEVER MIND.
--
Bro/Dave/Kat Pale Porno
--
Hovering, Karkat doesn't know where to look.
"Pretend you're a character from that novel or something. Do the panther laying down with supple meowbeast grace--"
"You keep saying shit about my books, we're going to end up filming an ashen flick," Karkat grumbles, and yelps when Bro winds an arm around his waist and pulls him down half on top of him.
"Shit yeah, this is the life."
"I almost bit your face!"
Dev can't see it but he knows exactly what kind of patting motion his moirail just employed on Karkat's shorts-clad ass purely by the way he squeaks.
"I have such a pale boner right now," Bro says, and sighs happily.
--
Bro/Kat ficlet
--
Bro doesn't think there was ever a time he wasn't aware of the mountain-sized crush Dave's friend-neighbor had on him. Flustered stammering, blushing -- oh, as the years went by the kid-now-teen started to learn how to keep up a line of banter even when distracted, but considering the distraction was more and more often Bro's body, yeah, stealthy he wasn't.
He's never been interested. He's no pedo. It's flattering, though, funny. Kind of cute. And now that Karkat is over twenty and back from college where he probably purged his adolescent hormones clean with a series of troll and human peeps, it's totally fair to tease the hell out of him about it.
"Nice skirt, Bro," says a gravelly-voiced asshole with just enough sarcasm in it to make Bro whirl, a hand on his hip and his chin up, and--
Holy shit.
"Damn straight it is," he says, eyes dragged down the wide chest in front of him, down to narrow hips and the tight fit at the crotch of troll-cut pants. The legs are strong, the arms -- when going back up -- nicely corded; Bro is taller, but this dude is thicker all over, solid with muscle, a wall of a man.
The jaw is squarer, but it's still Karkat.
"Let me guess, you were Djing at some bar with a crossdressing night, and you were too lazy to change when you got home."
Fuck, the quirk of those smirking lips.
"Also it's been like six months since I freaked out Dave," Bro says, bland-voiced somehow.
Karkat (how is that Karkat) looks him up and down, clinical almost, and snorts. "Yeah, that'll work. That poor asshole is so vanilla, one wonders how you're his lusus."
The only thing missing is stubble, but trolls don't do stubble much, to Bro's eternal regret.
Fuck.
That sure is a ping on his fuckable radar. Be just his luck if he got interested just when the brat isn't.
"Like you're not just as vanilla as he is, kiddo," he drawls -- awgh, shit, the 'kiddo' just slipped out. "All that flailing and fluster you did..." Yeah, he's on a good path to cockblock himself here, even if Karkat still --
The kid (so not a kid now) looks up, mouth folded down tight at the corners in some expression Bro can't read, and then he goes, with a hint of stubbornly ignored stammer, "Being vanilla and not wanting your kink spread out in public are not anywhere close to being the same thing."
Yeah, so. The way he's staring straight into Bro's shades? That's a come-on. It's not 'iyaan our hands brushed against each other I must escape to the bathroom and flail for an hour', it's an offer, mature, clear-cut. Wanna fuck?
Yeah, sure.
Bro lets himself smile.
"I'd ask for a demonstration of the differences, but I think it's rude to do that without even a dance first."
--
Covalent: John&Vriska, first time after the end of the game
--
-- ectoBiologist [EB] started trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] --
EB: vriska
AG: Wow!
AG: Do my eyes deceive me? The great John Egbert, lowering himself to talking to a 8ig not-nice meanie like me?
AG: ... How are you even contacting me right now, I thought we were out of the game!! Is this another FRIGGING DREAM8U88LE???
EB: iss taht you
EB: in the canyon
EB: house
EB: it loks lik your house
AG: What the heck is wrong with your typing a8ility?
AG: Are you drunk?
EB: claws
EB: getting in thenway
EB: ive got caws Vriska
EB: cLaws
EB: ivegot claws and thgiugn
EB: rhings
EB: things
EB: its my housebuut not my house and i think i have hornsn?
EB: everything echoes weird
EB: the leters on the screen areweird
AG: Are you a troll?!
AG: Huh, that's. Unexpected.
AG: Not a 8ig deal though. You'll get the hang of your newly superior 8eing in a minute. Unless you're reaaaaaaaally lame.
AG: Is the video feature of the memos still working? I can't find the option on mine. Or are you actually outside??
AG: Holy shit, where did that new hive come from? Is that you? John?
AG: Okay, I see someone waving. That had 8ETTER 8e you.
EB: howdy neighbor.
AG: ...
AG: John, who 8lew a chunk out of your wall?
EB: i think i did?
EB: but not like with the breath i think
EB: i pushed with my head i think and then splat. welp.
EB: i was drowning in snot!! urgh
EB: andnhaveing really fucked up dreams where i
EB: killed my friends
AG: Well, if you're a troll now, what else would you expect?
AG: What color are you?
AG: JOOOOOOOOHN.
EB: my eyes are blueish
AG: Well then. The higher on the spectrum, the more violent the dreams. Everyone knows that. What do you expect me to do about it?
EB: i don't know
EB: nothng i guess
EB: i'm just
EB: you're nearby and i guess equius also is but i don't know him at all
EB: and i want to see someone but at the same time i really don't
EB: so
EB: i guess it's cool knowing you're nearby but not coming over
EB: where i could
EB: i don't know what i could do but i
EB: can't forget the dreams
AG: ........
AG: Right.
AG: I'm coming over.
--
Covalent: Kanaya, Calliope and Caliborn
--
-- uranianUmbra [UU] started trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --
UU: hUllo! i hope i'm not distUrbing yoU?
UU: i don't think we have talked like this before, so jUst in case, this is calliope! ^u^ i Used to be a cherUb.
GA: Ah You Are The Muse Of Space One
GA: Not The Horrible One
UU: ^U^ hahaha! yes, yoU are qUite correct.
UU: he *is* pretty horrible. i feel i shoUld apologize in advance for what i'm aboUt to ask yoU, even if yoU decline, becaUse my brother is a pain merely to contemplate as it is.
GA: Rest Assured I Will Not Hold A Grudge Over Merely Having To Contemplate The Existence Of An Unpleasant Person
GA: If I Were The Kind Of Person Who Did My Contact List Would Be A Whole Lot Emptier
GA: And My Life More Boring Though At Least Probably Simpler I Suppose
GA: And Less Aggravating
GA: Um
GA: Ask Away
UU: i shoUld precise that i wanted to get to know you better entirely oUtside of any transaction!
UU: it's jUst that this latest happenstance precipitated my need for someone of yoUr talents.
GA: Yes
GA: This Explanation Clarified Exactly Nothing But I Feel It Explained That Nothing Very Nicely
UU: u_u;
GA: I Think My Sarcasm Detector Has Gotten Calibrated Strangely From All That Time With Rose
GA: My Apologies If I Inadvertently Misjudged It
UU: no worries, I *was* rambling quite a bit there!
UU: alright! the short version.
UU: i happen to be in need of clothes.
UU: or more exactly, i do have clothes, they just happen to be qUite horrendoUsly bUllet-ridden.
UU: also zombie-chewed. which makes them quite hard to wear.
UU: see, i did not have the knack of going intangible while bringing them along from the start, and as i have previoUsly said, my brother is a total berk.
UU: oh, bUt i will be compensating yoU for yoUr hard work, of coUrse! it woUld be quite selfish of me to presUme Upon oUr mUtUal acquaintanceship that way.
GA: Oh Its Okay I Do Own Quite A Few Metric Fucktons Of Fabrics I Would Never Use Without Someone To Use Them For
UU: no, no, i insist! it's only natUral that I pay for laboUr and yoUr expertise as well as the materials Used.
UU: it woUldn't feel right otherwise. :u
GA: Okay Then
GA: Whats Your Brothers Relevance To This
GA: I Mean Apart From Causing The Bullet Holes But That Seems To Be Quite Done And Over With
UU: oh, that. u_u;;;
UU: see, the last time i left him alone in oUr hive, that gigantic plonker managed to breach oUr own defenses going looking for zombies to shoot. i found him oUt of mUnitions in a precatioUs position on the roof with oUr hive totally overrUn! the cleanUp and repairs took *ages*.
UU: so if it isn't too mUch of an imposition, i woUld prefer to bring him along, thoUgh it woUld be best if yoU had some kind of cellar or dUngeon-like room to stick him into for the dUration.
UU: if yoU don't think yoU can handle his presence, I guess I will just leave him home, but...
GA: I
GA: See
GA: I Dont Have A Dungeon Sadly Enough
GA: But I Do Have A Chainsaw
GA: And Karkat Did Mention He Was Pulling For Eventual Rehabilitation Which I Think Is Hoping Way Too Much But I Wouldnt Like The Sad Barkbeast Faces He Would Make If I Didnt Even Try
GA: So
UU: ^u^!! thank yoU!!!!!!!!!!!
GA: Come When Youre Ready I Guess
UU: we'll be there in two minutes. ^u^
-- uranianUmbra [UU] stopped trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --
GA: Wait
GA: I Didnt Mean
GA: Oh Well I Guess I Will Stuff All My Precious Things In A Closet And Lock It Surely That Can Be Accomplished In Two Minutes
GA: Dot Dot Dot
GA: One Minute Now
no subject
except not really because this is my favourite trope and you write it better than anyone else. It's easy for this trope to get annoying because it's done so often but SOMEHOW NOT WHEN IT'S YOU <3 <3omfg I love, LOVE that there's such a difference between young!Karkat and GrownUp!Karkat. And that Bro wasn't interested until he was an adult. And also Bro's disbelief at how hot he is. mmmm yes. Bro is even flustered enough that his autopilot bantering is actually sabotaging himself! Good thing Karkat took him up anyway, because Karkat is smoking, and I want to see that. *fans self*
The Vriska<>John one looks interesting! She's still trying to be totally self-absorbed... but John.
AG: Well then. The higher on the spectrum, the more violent the dreams. Everyone knows that. What do you expect me to do about it?
EB: i don't know
EB: nothng i guess
AG: ........
AG: Right.
AG: I'm coming over.
X333 that's too cute, no fair making me like Vriska!!
Hehe I like it when Kanaya gets all rambly! So often she's written as this super classy, poised, fashionable snootypants
And they forget she has a sense of humour! I laughed out loud at
GA: This Explanation Clarified Exactly Nothing But I Feel It Explained That Nothing Very Nicely
And then at
GA: I Think My Sarcasm Detector Has Gotten Calibrated Strangely From All That Time With Rose
AND THEN AT
GA: Oh Well I Guess I Will Stuff All My Precious Things In A Closet And Lock It Surely That Can Be Accomplished In Two Minutes
GA: Dot Dot Dot
GA: One Minute Now
XDDD I forget how much I love Kanaya <3
no subject
Dave is so fucked. soooo fucked. *cackles*
also kanaya is hilarious ok i hope i can write this fic right ahhhh. in pesterlogs it's easier to fake witht he quirk and the right language but the reactions irl will be harder. *grumblefrets*
no subject
"I have such a pale boner right now," Bro says, and sighs happily.
I giggled so hard. :D
More Covalentverse -- poor John; he's the one struggling hardest with the change, I think. It's nice to see Vriska being her usual self, but also having a bit more of clue with regard to "how do I other people, what is empathy" (maybe because she knows John/liked him before this?) and realising she should come over and
help outinvestigate.no subject
Rose has totally no idea what Dave might possibly be talking about.
and Kankri is totally not making faces right beside her.yeah, Jane isn't having a great time either but she's more disciplined mentally speaking so she's controlling herself better about her freakouts. John, nope. he can't flutter away from it so he's being very DO NOT WANT. :X