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Entry tags:
monthly word count - november
TOTAL: 40 610 :D
most of it is oneshots, not big WIPs, but completed and posted oneshots! and also i prodded at some fics on my backburner, so i'm still somewhat satisfied.
POSTED
-Covalent 'verse: Equius & Caliborn chatlog (876 words)
-Karkat/Equius BDSM 'verse/college (782 words)
-JohnJadeKarkat, Summoners/Incubus (1 258 words)
-BT: Equ/Karkat kismesis noncanon prequel (492 words)
-Petstuck: Dave & John re: Karkat&Equius adorableness pesterlog (466 words)
-JohnKat: Pegasus & Chupacabra urban fantasy AU (1 351 words)
-BT: Johnkat: Hot springs episode (1 093 words)
-Crash Standing: Byrd&Jade re: Black jadekat pesterlog (819 words)
-Karkat & Dave: medieval master of horses karkat AU (636 words)
-DaveTereziKarkat: Temeraire AU (2 448 words)
-DaveJadeKarkat: Pern Dragonriders AU (1 770 words)
-JohnJadeKarkat: Wolfbrothers AU (2 481 words)
-DaveJadeKarkat: Vampire&Werewolf romance (1 894 words)
-DaveJadeKarkat: Vampire&Werewolf romance pesterlog sequelette (932 words)
-BT: weird fucked-up Karkat gangbang dream optional sidefic (2458 words)
-davekat arranged marriage: The One Where They Actually Fuck (5 159 words)
WIP
-ofic: urban fantasy silliness that i probably won't continue, but the scene was fun (2 620 words)
-Covalent 'verse: outside POV: Telescopium (1 748 words)
-sunlightverse: mystery dave/dirk pesterlog (1 045 words)
-sunlightverse: untitled (Varos&Minna) (3 539 words)
-Pale Krakens: pale porno (Dave&Bro&Karkat pale porning, hawwwwwt) (2 856 words)
-Midnight on the Demon Patrol chapter 19 (2 189 words)
-two starts to ficlets that didn't go anywhere (305 words)
-Gundam Wing: Lone Wolf and Pilot (1 393 words)
--
Covalent 'verse: outside POV: Telescopium (1 748 words)
--
BS: harias oh my little horrorterrors harias
BS: one of his windows is open
BS: so much yelling
SB: HahA.
SB: Thought that was business as usual with that onE.
SB: Unless i'm remembering them wronG.
BS: no no that's EXACTLY right.
SB: UnderstandablE?
BS: the yelling? not quite just a few words here and there but WOW
BS: i have DEDUCTIONS already
BS: hariaaaaaaaaaaaasss
SB: Okay finE. This is me askinG.
BS: I have deduced............
BS: iiiiii have deduceeeeeeee...
SB: They're creW.
BS: DAMN IT.
BS: HOW DID YOU EVEN???
SB: They walked iN. Guy didn't run away like if home invasioN.
SB: Knew each otheR.
SB: Olive girl in charge not purple guY. Points to a social call not businesS.
SB: Arguing yeS. But you'd tell me if at murderous ragegasm leveL.
You pout a little as you trim the rust blooms off your tanglethorns bush. Harias is totally not psychic and not even here to hear the pitch of your neighbor's screaming. This is super unfair.
BS: ...
SB: HM?
BS: spongedead shittard
SB: WhaT.
BS: rainbow spray of hoofbeastshit vomited up your abhorrent facial holes
SB: PffffF.
BS: almighty cretinous dunderfuckery blah blah stuffing her nook with the thicker end of her pretentious rifle blah blah play a merry tune on the flute with her asshole to twirl to
SB: AhahahahA.
--
sunlightverse: untitled (Varos&Minna) (3 539 words)
--
They pelted past the Revolter's temple at a dead run. Minna turned her head to yell at him when he slowed down, not even words, just a cry of frustration, a beast-threat. Varos lowered his chin and kept moving.
What could a prayer do right now, anyway, oh Lord Protector of the downtrodden, what could the -- what was it, what was -- subtle workings of the divine do when the need was so -- when, when, oh Mom, he'd gone down at the main village today, what if he got hurt.
They'd seen the ships, fishing in the rocks. Gods willing their little boat would stay anchored where they'd left it, but no big loss, if they could only get there in time.
Minna almost plowed the stranger down.
Varos skidded on the earth, had to hop into the grass by the path and grab for a tree, almost pitched horns first into thorn bushes.
"Okay what the fuck?" the stranger said, and then Minna was in his face, hands off but body angled forward like she was about to ram him into a rock entirely deliberately.
"Who the hell are you?!"
The stranger spluttered. "Why in hell do you want to know, how is that any of your business?"
Varos moved behind his sister, slow and cautious. The man -- no, he was an adolescent, older than they were but not by that much yet -- he was short, square-shouldered, his horns were the smallest Varos had ever seen on anyone past puberty. Thick brows, a short bird's nest of hair, a row of little shreddy teeth pressing down on his lip. Ruddy-brownish -- the people of Oakisle tended to blue-green hues.
"You're a stranger!" Minna snarled, five feet nothing and all claws out. "You just happen to turn up now?!"
The older boy gave a slow, unimpressed blink, crossed his arms. "You're gonna want to take a deep breath right the fuck now and try again, with less fucking assumptions and more actual information. No, actually you're going to shut up. You, coiled-horns. What's the problem? You guys stoning strangers to death on this quaint little rock?"
Varos blinked back. Little rock? Oakisle was third biggest in the whole archipelago. "No, it's -- there's no harbor on this side of the island?"
"... Yeah? Noticed that."
"And it's all cliffs."
It was hard not to feel Minna's suspicion. Their hands were still bleeding from the climb, and they'd taken the only path they knew -- as natives of this island. They'd seen no one take it, and they would have.
"Yeah, I am in possession of working eyes, so I also noticed that. Why the hurry?"
Minna swore, snatched at the stranger's sleeve, yanked him around like a top and then down the path with her before he could get his balance back.
"Hey!"
"No, you shut up, you're coming with us!" Minna bared her teeth, blue lightning crackling briefly around her horns; Varos winced to see the man twitch as she stung the back of his thighs to make him follow. "You don't get to stay here and play lookout! If you're not a pirate then too bad for you--"
Varos bumped into the stranger's back when he braked, and they stumbled a little, but he didn't shove Varos off him, just stared at his sister and then at him. "Wait -- pirates? Well, fuck me twice, why didn't you say so sooner!" He shoved at Minna's shoulder as she stared, probably just as baffled as Varos felt. "C'mon, I thought we were in a hurry!"
--
Pale Krakens: pale porno (Dave&Bro&Karkat pale porning, hawwwwwt) (2 856 words)
--
CG: I AM SO GLORIOUSLY FUCKED.
TG: ((terezi what did you do you kinky bitch))
GC: NOT M3! >:]
CG: NOT IN A FUNNY WAY.
CG: IN A REALLY UNFUNNY WAY, TO BE HONEST.
GC: OH. >:[
TG: ((??))
CG: IT'S TIME TO ADMIT IT, NO MATTER HOW QUICK AND NIMBLE AND DAMN AWESOME I AM, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY IN THE IMMENSE REACHES OF ALTERNIAN SPACE THAT MY INSTRUCTOR WILL ALLOW ME TO GO THROUGH THE RANKS WITHOUT HAVING BLED VERY LITERALLY FOR IT.
TG: ((aw fuck man))
CG: AT FIRST DODGING HER SO COMPLETELY LOOKED BADASS, BUT NOWADAYS GOING OUT OF MY WAY TO AVOID A LITTLE CUT JUST MAKES THEM CALL ME A COWARD.
CG: THIS CAN NOT END WELL.
GC: OH H3LL
GC: 1 W4S HOP1NG TH1S WOULD NOT H4PP3N, TH3R3 W4S 4 CH4NC3
GC: 1M SO SORRY
CG: YEAH, WELL.
TG: ((shit dude))
TG: ((i dont even know what to say))
TG: ((what do you want to do got any ideas you know well help))
CG: I ADMIT IT SALVES MY PRIDE A LOT THAT I NOW KNOW FOR SURE I WOULD MAKE FOR A FUCKING MAGNIFICENT THRESHIE.
CG: BUT IT HAS BECOME VERY MUCH NOT COST-EFFECTIVE TO KEEP RISKING THE TWO OF YOU FOR THIS STUPID, SELFISH DESIRE OF MINE.
GC: W3LP 1 JUST FL1PP3D FLUSH3D >:'[ <3
GC: 1T W4SNT STUP1D K4RK4T 1T W4S 4 B1G P4RT OF YOU FOR SO LONG
GC: W3 W4NT3D YOU H4PPY
CG: ... THANK YOU.
CG: I WAS. I REALLY WAS. BUT IF I GET THE TWO OF YOU CULLED OVER THIS I WILL GREET THE DRONES WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN. I
CG: CALLING THAT KIND OF SHIT DOWN ONTO YOU GUYS WOULD REALLY SOUR IT FOR ME. "IT" BEING LIFE IN GENERAL. YEAH.
TG: ((daww i pity you too you stunted asshole))
CG: FUCK YOU.
CG: LOVINGLY I GUESS.
GC: H3H3H3.
CG: THE ISSUE NOW BECOMES, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF OTHER JOB CAN I GET FROM HERE? ANY OTHER BRANCH OF THE ARMY WILL JUST BE MORE OF THE SAME AND I'M QUITE FUCKING THOROUGLY *TIRED* OF THE CONSTANT JEERING SUSPICION, IT HAS REALLY SOURED THE ESPRIT DE CORPS FOR ME, BUT
CG: I WOULD STILL REALLY LIKE TO EAT. AND NOT BE SHOT DOWN AS A VAGRANT.
CG: SHIT. I NEED TO QUIT YESTERDAY.
CG: BUT WHAT DO I EVEN HAVE TO SELL THAT ISN'T MY BATTLE PROWESS? IT'S JUST ABOUT MY ONLY MARKETABLE QUALITY.
CG: MY CODING SUCKS AND YOU NEED SWEEPS TO GET ESTABLISHED IN THE MOVIE REVIEW BUSINESS!
CG: I AM SO, SO, SO FUCKED. IT'S AN ORGY IN HERE AND THE WHOLE FLAYSQUAD IS INVITED.
GC: >:[ NOT W1THOUT BUY1NG TH31R T1CK3TS F1RST TH3YR3 NOT
--
GT: I am so nicely boned.
GT: Remember the patron who was willing to support my movie?
GT: Well, he wants a bit of "insurance" first, by which he means he would love a short series of pale porn with the "inimitable Vibronic stamp."
TG: ((aint the vibro stamp like way attached to concupiscent stuff))
TG: ((like i mean for serious youve done a hundred completely out quadrant stuff and not one paleash anything that should mean something))
GT: No kidding. Apparently it'd help prove my versatility.
GT: Because porn of any kind says a lot about your ability to produce mainstream shit fit for wigglers aged seven and over.
GT: He wants it "super kinky" and "raunchy enough to fluster our Empress herself." Not a tall order at all.
TG: ((wow helpful any other instructions there))
GT: Highblood harem of cuddlebitches kink, high on the sweetiefluff and innocence, Barely Off-planet kink if I can find the right actors, possibly some quadrant blurring between the pacificators for Their Highness's Pleasure, and a dash of highly controversial lusus cuddles.
GT: The lusus would either be an actor lusus (expensive as shit) or some random tame animal bleached white (not trustworthy worth shit), mind, but at worst I can build a 'bot and bury it in fur and down.
TG: ((...))
GT: Yeah.
TG: ((wow the specifics are))
TG: ((innnnteresting))
TG: ((im giving you the eyebrow btw))
GT: I won't deny that it would totally be something I'd watch the hell out of.
GT: Hopefully with you cuddled up to my side repeating their corniest lines to see if I squirm.
TG: ((no i mean))
TG: ((hows the pay))
TG: ((ps you vile flatterer and you know thats totally a thing id do))
TG: ((if i wasnt planning to do you one better))
GT: For something that kinky? You're looking at a starting price of six hundred caegars a day, with possibly a bonus if the sales go well.
TG: ((awesome))
TG: ((porno serendipity))
GT: What?
--
Dave knows the filming studios pretty well now, and the guards recognize him at the door. Today, though, most of the rooms are dark, doors closed. It's pretty late in the morning, yeah. Terezi insisted.
She strides inside first, peering around, cracking doors open and making amused faces at the concupiscent platforms and other sex swings she finds. She doesn't crack jokes, though. Dave follows, hands in his pockets, pretending he doesn't mean to bump his elbow into Karkat's every few steps.
Karkat is buried into his jacket, collar up like the temperature controls are defective. His mouth is hidden and Dave doesn't like it much.
There's a lit room at the end of the corridor. Terezi pauses, cocks her head to look back at Dave; he nods back to her, and walks in first.
"Yo, Bro. Yo, Cyanotic."
His moirail and his make-up artist are seated against a wall between two of the big cameras, talking in quiet voices. Dave goes to Bro, slips an arm around his neck, knocks the side of his curling horn against Bro's zigzagging one.
He perches his butt on Bro's knee and turns around. Terezi is walking inside already. Karkat hesitates in the door before he squares his shoulders and follows.
"TZ, Karkat, my palebro, cleverly named Bro. Cyanotic, make-up wizardry provider. Bro, Cyano, my matesprit Terezi Pyrope, and my matesprit Karkat Vantas."
Cyanotic's eyebrow has gone up, but she's probably used to hearing worse, the kind of company they get in the business; she doesn't look any more shocked than that. "Flipping or triad?"
"Flipping triad!" Terezi replies, cane planted between her feet, pointy daggerhorns canted playfully-challenging. "Best way to do it bar none."
--
Midnight on the Demon Patrol chapter 19
--
"But you're not a bit old to start summoning?" Maguire is asking with a little doubtful moue, lips quirked in a way that reminds Dave of the way Rose's mouth looks when Terezi has it. He takes a sip so he won't smile. "I mean, you're -- how old?"
Welch snorts through a mouthful of chips. "Twenty-six, thank you very much."
Maguire turns dubious brown eyes on Dave. "How old are you again?"
Dave pretends to think about it. "Oh, at least twenty-three."
Everyone but the other Detectives goes on to stare at him. Welp. "Holy sh-- uh. Crap. Wow. How the hell are you a detective already?"
"Yeah, wow, I think we're all older than you, sir. That's just weird."
O'Dell raises his hand. "I'm twenty-two? Hey, Karkat, how old are you?"
Karkat blinks, thrown. Dave is briefly interested in the answer, before he remembers that, er, yeah. "I'm a demon, dumbdumb. Time kind of means jack shit to us. You could count it linearly from when I was incarnated, I guess, in which case I win by leagues."
"Or lose by leagues," Dave can't stop himself from saying.
--
Gundam Wing: Lone Wolf and Pilot
--
Wait wait coming too!
Duo paused in the middle of letting the door slip closed, stared in surprise as an off-black wolf limped his hurried way to them. He let Coyote through out of pure surprise, glanced at Trowa, eyebrows furrowed. Trowa put his fingers in his pockets -- just the fingers, casual as you please -- and turned away to keep talking to Segura.
Well, uh. Okay then. He let the door close with a clang. Coyote was busy nosing at the dummy and snatching at the bottom with his teeth, trying to find a good grip. The goal was carry evidence to the big stinky-fun box! Okay, why not. Duo heaved the top of the dumpster open, chucked the head in, and watched in mild bafflement as the wolves tried awkwardly to raise something as tall as a grown man, and heavier, over their heads. In the end he felt the edges of an idea/memory sparking from Coyote, Killer's considered approval, and they wrestled the thing vertical, propped it against the edge, and bit onto the bottom to glide it upwards until it toppled inside on its own.
A foot off the broken support bottom still stuck out. Duo pushed it farther in, and let the top hinge closed.
It said kind of a lot that all Gundam pilot wolves apparently knew how to dispose of a body, he thought.
most of it is oneshots, not big WIPs, but completed and posted oneshots! and also i prodded at some fics on my backburner, so i'm still somewhat satisfied.
POSTED
-Covalent 'verse: Equius & Caliborn chatlog (876 words)
-Karkat/Equius BDSM 'verse/college (782 words)
-JohnJadeKarkat, Summoners/Incubus (1 258 words)
-BT: Equ/Karkat kismesis noncanon prequel (492 words)
-Petstuck: Dave & John re: Karkat&Equius adorableness pesterlog (466 words)
-JohnKat: Pegasus & Chupacabra urban fantasy AU (1 351 words)
-BT: Johnkat: Hot springs episode (1 093 words)
-Crash Standing: Byrd&Jade re: Black jadekat pesterlog (819 words)
-Karkat & Dave: medieval master of horses karkat AU (636 words)
-DaveTereziKarkat: Temeraire AU (2 448 words)
-DaveJadeKarkat: Pern Dragonriders AU (1 770 words)
-JohnJadeKarkat: Wolfbrothers AU (2 481 words)
-DaveJadeKarkat: Vampire&Werewolf romance (1 894 words)
-DaveJadeKarkat: Vampire&Werewolf romance pesterlog sequelette (932 words)
-BT: weird fucked-up Karkat gangbang dream optional sidefic (2458 words)
-davekat arranged marriage: The One Where They Actually Fuck (5 159 words)
WIP
-ofic: urban fantasy silliness that i probably won't continue, but the scene was fun (2 620 words)
-Covalent 'verse: outside POV: Telescopium (1 748 words)
-sunlightverse: mystery dave/dirk pesterlog (1 045 words)
-sunlightverse: untitled (Varos&Minna) (3 539 words)
-Pale Krakens: pale porno (Dave&Bro&Karkat pale porning, hawwwwwt) (2 856 words)
-Midnight on the Demon Patrol chapter 19 (2 189 words)
-two starts to ficlets that didn't go anywhere (305 words)
-Gundam Wing: Lone Wolf and Pilot (1 393 words)
--
Covalent 'verse: outside POV: Telescopium (1 748 words)
--
BS: harias oh my little horrorterrors harias
BS: one of his windows is open
BS: so much yelling
SB: HahA.
SB: Thought that was business as usual with that onE.
SB: Unless i'm remembering them wronG.
BS: no no that's EXACTLY right.
SB: UnderstandablE?
BS: the yelling? not quite just a few words here and there but WOW
BS: i have DEDUCTIONS already
BS: hariaaaaaaaaaaaasss
SB: Okay finE. This is me askinG.
BS: I have deduced............
BS: iiiiii have deduceeeeeeee...
SB: They're creW.
BS: DAMN IT.
BS: HOW DID YOU EVEN???
SB: They walked iN. Guy didn't run away like if home invasioN.
SB: Knew each otheR.
SB: Olive girl in charge not purple guY. Points to a social call not businesS.
SB: Arguing yeS. But you'd tell me if at murderous ragegasm leveL.
You pout a little as you trim the rust blooms off your tanglethorns bush. Harias is totally not psychic and not even here to hear the pitch of your neighbor's screaming. This is super unfair.
BS: ...
SB: HM?
BS: spongedead shittard
SB: WhaT.
BS: rainbow spray of hoofbeastshit vomited up your abhorrent facial holes
SB: PffffF.
BS: almighty cretinous dunderfuckery blah blah stuffing her nook with the thicker end of her pretentious rifle blah blah play a merry tune on the flute with her asshole to twirl to
SB: AhahahahA.
--
sunlightverse: untitled (Varos&Minna) (3 539 words)
--
They pelted past the Revolter's temple at a dead run. Minna turned her head to yell at him when he slowed down, not even words, just a cry of frustration, a beast-threat. Varos lowered his chin and kept moving.
What could a prayer do right now, anyway, oh Lord Protector of the downtrodden, what could the -- what was it, what was -- subtle workings of the divine do when the need was so -- when, when, oh Mom, he'd gone down at the main village today, what if he got hurt.
They'd seen the ships, fishing in the rocks. Gods willing their little boat would stay anchored where they'd left it, but no big loss, if they could only get there in time.
Minna almost plowed the stranger down.
Varos skidded on the earth, had to hop into the grass by the path and grab for a tree, almost pitched horns first into thorn bushes.
"Okay what the fuck?" the stranger said, and then Minna was in his face, hands off but body angled forward like she was about to ram him into a rock entirely deliberately.
"Who the hell are you?!"
The stranger spluttered. "Why in hell do you want to know, how is that any of your business?"
Varos moved behind his sister, slow and cautious. The man -- no, he was an adolescent, older than they were but not by that much yet -- he was short, square-shouldered, his horns were the smallest Varos had ever seen on anyone past puberty. Thick brows, a short bird's nest of hair, a row of little shreddy teeth pressing down on his lip. Ruddy-brownish -- the people of Oakisle tended to blue-green hues.
"You're a stranger!" Minna snarled, five feet nothing and all claws out. "You just happen to turn up now?!"
The older boy gave a slow, unimpressed blink, crossed his arms. "You're gonna want to take a deep breath right the fuck now and try again, with less fucking assumptions and more actual information. No, actually you're going to shut up. You, coiled-horns. What's the problem? You guys stoning strangers to death on this quaint little rock?"
Varos blinked back. Little rock? Oakisle was third biggest in the whole archipelago. "No, it's -- there's no harbor on this side of the island?"
"... Yeah? Noticed that."
"And it's all cliffs."
It was hard not to feel Minna's suspicion. Their hands were still bleeding from the climb, and they'd taken the only path they knew -- as natives of this island. They'd seen no one take it, and they would have.
"Yeah, I am in possession of working eyes, so I also noticed that. Why the hurry?"
Minna swore, snatched at the stranger's sleeve, yanked him around like a top and then down the path with her before he could get his balance back.
"Hey!"
"No, you shut up, you're coming with us!" Minna bared her teeth, blue lightning crackling briefly around her horns; Varos winced to see the man twitch as she stung the back of his thighs to make him follow. "You don't get to stay here and play lookout! If you're not a pirate then too bad for you--"
Varos bumped into the stranger's back when he braked, and they stumbled a little, but he didn't shove Varos off him, just stared at his sister and then at him. "Wait -- pirates? Well, fuck me twice, why didn't you say so sooner!" He shoved at Minna's shoulder as she stared, probably just as baffled as Varos felt. "C'mon, I thought we were in a hurry!"
--
Pale Krakens: pale porno (Dave&Bro&Karkat pale porning, hawwwwwt) (2 856 words)
--
CG: I AM SO GLORIOUSLY FUCKED.
TG: ((terezi what did you do you kinky bitch))
GC: NOT M3! >:]
CG: NOT IN A FUNNY WAY.
CG: IN A REALLY UNFUNNY WAY, TO BE HONEST.
GC: OH. >:[
TG: ((??))
CG: IT'S TIME TO ADMIT IT, NO MATTER HOW QUICK AND NIMBLE AND DAMN AWESOME I AM, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY IN THE IMMENSE REACHES OF ALTERNIAN SPACE THAT MY INSTRUCTOR WILL ALLOW ME TO GO THROUGH THE RANKS WITHOUT HAVING BLED VERY LITERALLY FOR IT.
TG: ((aw fuck man))
CG: AT FIRST DODGING HER SO COMPLETELY LOOKED BADASS, BUT NOWADAYS GOING OUT OF MY WAY TO AVOID A LITTLE CUT JUST MAKES THEM CALL ME A COWARD.
CG: THIS CAN NOT END WELL.
GC: OH H3LL
GC: 1 W4S HOP1NG TH1S WOULD NOT H4PP3N, TH3R3 W4S 4 CH4NC3
GC: 1M SO SORRY
CG: YEAH, WELL.
TG: ((shit dude))
TG: ((i dont even know what to say))
TG: ((what do you want to do got any ideas you know well help))
CG: I ADMIT IT SALVES MY PRIDE A LOT THAT I NOW KNOW FOR SURE I WOULD MAKE FOR A FUCKING MAGNIFICENT THRESHIE.
CG: BUT IT HAS BECOME VERY MUCH NOT COST-EFFECTIVE TO KEEP RISKING THE TWO OF YOU FOR THIS STUPID, SELFISH DESIRE OF MINE.
GC: W3LP 1 JUST FL1PP3D FLUSH3D >:'[ <3
GC: 1T W4SNT STUP1D K4RK4T 1T W4S 4 B1G P4RT OF YOU FOR SO LONG
GC: W3 W4NT3D YOU H4PPY
CG: ... THANK YOU.
CG: I WAS. I REALLY WAS. BUT IF I GET THE TWO OF YOU CULLED OVER THIS I WILL GREET THE DRONES WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN. I
CG: CALLING THAT KIND OF SHIT DOWN ONTO YOU GUYS WOULD REALLY SOUR IT FOR ME. "IT" BEING LIFE IN GENERAL. YEAH.
TG: ((daww i pity you too you stunted asshole))
CG: FUCK YOU.
CG: LOVINGLY I GUESS.
GC: H3H3H3.
CG: THE ISSUE NOW BECOMES, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF OTHER JOB CAN I GET FROM HERE? ANY OTHER BRANCH OF THE ARMY WILL JUST BE MORE OF THE SAME AND I'M QUITE FUCKING THOROUGLY *TIRED* OF THE CONSTANT JEERING SUSPICION, IT HAS REALLY SOURED THE ESPRIT DE CORPS FOR ME, BUT
CG: I WOULD STILL REALLY LIKE TO EAT. AND NOT BE SHOT DOWN AS A VAGRANT.
CG: SHIT. I NEED TO QUIT YESTERDAY.
CG: BUT WHAT DO I EVEN HAVE TO SELL THAT ISN'T MY BATTLE PROWESS? IT'S JUST ABOUT MY ONLY MARKETABLE QUALITY.
CG: MY CODING SUCKS AND YOU NEED SWEEPS TO GET ESTABLISHED IN THE MOVIE REVIEW BUSINESS!
CG: I AM SO, SO, SO FUCKED. IT'S AN ORGY IN HERE AND THE WHOLE FLAYSQUAD IS INVITED.
GC: >:[ NOT W1THOUT BUY1NG TH31R T1CK3TS F1RST TH3YR3 NOT
--
GT: I am so nicely boned.
GT: Remember the patron who was willing to support my movie?
GT: Well, he wants a bit of "insurance" first, by which he means he would love a short series of pale porn with the "inimitable Vibronic stamp."
TG: ((aint the vibro stamp like way attached to concupiscent stuff))
TG: ((like i mean for serious youve done a hundred completely out quadrant stuff and not one paleash anything that should mean something))
GT: No kidding. Apparently it'd help prove my versatility.
GT: Because porn of any kind says a lot about your ability to produce mainstream shit fit for wigglers aged seven and over.
GT: He wants it "super kinky" and "raunchy enough to fluster our Empress herself." Not a tall order at all.
TG: ((wow helpful any other instructions there))
GT: Highblood harem of cuddlebitches kink, high on the sweetiefluff and innocence, Barely Off-planet kink if I can find the right actors, possibly some quadrant blurring between the pacificators for Their Highness's Pleasure, and a dash of highly controversial lusus cuddles.
GT: The lusus would either be an actor lusus (expensive as shit) or some random tame animal bleached white (not trustworthy worth shit), mind, but at worst I can build a 'bot and bury it in fur and down.
TG: ((...))
GT: Yeah.
TG: ((wow the specifics are))
TG: ((innnnteresting))
TG: ((im giving you the eyebrow btw))
GT: I won't deny that it would totally be something I'd watch the hell out of.
GT: Hopefully with you cuddled up to my side repeating their corniest lines to see if I squirm.
TG: ((no i mean))
TG: ((hows the pay))
TG: ((ps you vile flatterer and you know thats totally a thing id do))
TG: ((if i wasnt planning to do you one better))
GT: For something that kinky? You're looking at a starting price of six hundred caegars a day, with possibly a bonus if the sales go well.
TG: ((awesome))
TG: ((porno serendipity))
GT: What?
--
Dave knows the filming studios pretty well now, and the guards recognize him at the door. Today, though, most of the rooms are dark, doors closed. It's pretty late in the morning, yeah. Terezi insisted.
She strides inside first, peering around, cracking doors open and making amused faces at the concupiscent platforms and other sex swings she finds. She doesn't crack jokes, though. Dave follows, hands in his pockets, pretending he doesn't mean to bump his elbow into Karkat's every few steps.
Karkat is buried into his jacket, collar up like the temperature controls are defective. His mouth is hidden and Dave doesn't like it much.
There's a lit room at the end of the corridor. Terezi pauses, cocks her head to look back at Dave; he nods back to her, and walks in first.
"Yo, Bro. Yo, Cyanotic."
His moirail and his make-up artist are seated against a wall between two of the big cameras, talking in quiet voices. Dave goes to Bro, slips an arm around his neck, knocks the side of his curling horn against Bro's zigzagging one.
He perches his butt on Bro's knee and turns around. Terezi is walking inside already. Karkat hesitates in the door before he squares his shoulders and follows.
"TZ, Karkat, my palebro, cleverly named Bro. Cyanotic, make-up wizardry provider. Bro, Cyano, my matesprit Terezi Pyrope, and my matesprit Karkat Vantas."
Cyanotic's eyebrow has gone up, but she's probably used to hearing worse, the kind of company they get in the business; she doesn't look any more shocked than that. "Flipping or triad?"
"Flipping triad!" Terezi replies, cane planted between her feet, pointy daggerhorns canted playfully-challenging. "Best way to do it bar none."
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Midnight on the Demon Patrol chapter 19
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"But you're not a bit old to start summoning?" Maguire is asking with a little doubtful moue, lips quirked in a way that reminds Dave of the way Rose's mouth looks when Terezi has it. He takes a sip so he won't smile. "I mean, you're -- how old?"
Welch snorts through a mouthful of chips. "Twenty-six, thank you very much."
Maguire turns dubious brown eyes on Dave. "How old are you again?"
Dave pretends to think about it. "Oh, at least twenty-three."
Everyone but the other Detectives goes on to stare at him. Welp. "Holy sh-- uh. Crap. Wow. How the hell are you a detective already?"
"Yeah, wow, I think we're all older than you, sir. That's just weird."
O'Dell raises his hand. "I'm twenty-two? Hey, Karkat, how old are you?"
Karkat blinks, thrown. Dave is briefly interested in the answer, before he remembers that, er, yeah. "I'm a demon, dumbdumb. Time kind of means jack shit to us. You could count it linearly from when I was incarnated, I guess, in which case I win by leagues."
"Or lose by leagues," Dave can't stop himself from saying.
--
Gundam Wing: Lone Wolf and Pilot
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Wait wait coming too!
Duo paused in the middle of letting the door slip closed, stared in surprise as an off-black wolf limped his hurried way to them. He let Coyote through out of pure surprise, glanced at Trowa, eyebrows furrowed. Trowa put his fingers in his pockets -- just the fingers, casual as you please -- and turned away to keep talking to Segura.
Well, uh. Okay then. He let the door close with a clang. Coyote was busy nosing at the dummy and snatching at the bottom with his teeth, trying to find a good grip. The goal was carry evidence to the big stinky-fun box! Okay, why not. Duo heaved the top of the dumpster open, chucked the head in, and watched in mild bafflement as the wolves tried awkwardly to raise something as tall as a grown man, and heavier, over their heads. In the end he felt the edges of an idea/memory sparking from Coyote, Killer's considered approval, and they wrestled the thing vertical, propped it against the edge, and bit onto the bottom to glide it upwards until it toppled inside on its own.
A foot off the broken support bottom still stuck out. Duo pushed it farther in, and let the top hinge closed.
It said kind of a lot that all Gundam pilot wolves apparently knew how to dispose of a body, he thought.
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YAY YAY YAY for more outside-POV Covalent!!!! (Is that enough shoutpoles? Maybe I should add more.) !!!! It had never occurred to me before that Karkat's neighbours probably get to hear a lot of very creative invective, given his shoutiness; that's adorable! And he must be kind of adorable, too, if nobody's shut him up after all this time. Adorable or at least entertaining.
I like the nod to his canonical hermit-ness, too, with the shock evident in his neighbour's "he has COMPANY! *le gasp*" response. :D Plus, of course, it adds incentive to listen; if something is unusual about it, all the more reason to pay attention.
The obvious friendship with the Trollian partner was cute, too - not every friend will just sit there and laugh while you liveblog random neighbourhood shenanigans at them, so. Yeah. I think these OCs are gonna be fun!
"Wait -- pirates? Well, fuck me twice, why didn't you say so sooner!"
Pfffft hahaha! ♥
PaleTriadNaughtiness: YEsssssss! *fistpump* Poor, poor Karkat, though; it hurts to see him forced into giving up his dream. (I take it, at least, he does not currently have a moirail?) Hope it won't be too traumatic for him, but I have a suspicion that it will be, especially if he's as much a romantic as he is in canon... Can't help that Dave&Bro are the real genuine pale article, *wince*. And I'm wondering what his impression(s) of Bro will be; I take it Karkat hasn't met many seadwellers? Oooh, just thought about this, but maybe we'll find out more about Dave's job somehow?
I snickered at the double-matesprit-intro, though. You go, Dave! And you tell 'em, Terezi! :D Karkat, there can't possibly be anything too awful in your life with those two there to claim you and defend you!
Oooooh, it's just sinking in: Dave's a little rustie, and Karkat is [as far as anyone knows] another small/young rustblood; what a pretty, 'helpless' pair they'd make next to a towering seadweller! Mmm. Somebody definitely needs to draw that. Yes. I can see why somebody wanted that pale-porno made, for sure!
...Also I kinda want there to be some lingering shots contrasting their horns, now, because while they're generally similar characters (Post-A young, lowblooded) the horns make for such a huge difference: Dave's swaggerworthy, stereotypically-rustblood headgear, and Karkat's little pitiful nubbins. (And if Dave gets to do any kinky horn-related things to Karkat, I might explode with joy...)
Why does "Karkat gets reluctantly molested" hit so many of my buttons? Sigh. At least he's going to be well-paid! Will we get any worldbuilding on the subject of wages, by the bye? I'm kind of curious how the pornography pay stacks up against Threshie pay|Dave's pay|typical pay for a rustblood in general|typical seadweller income!
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re: pale porn, currently gamzee has dumped karkat like an asshole yes so he's diamondless. ;_; he's met, i think eridan and fef, and that's about it. welp. >:D (mmm horn porn) (karkat does know that bro knows, yes, considering dave had to explain how he'd sorted things out to save his ass. karkat wouldn't take "oh just trust me" as an explanation.)
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Heh, well, that poor neighbour has all my sympathies. :D And hey, I think friendship is an important part of matespritship -- I bet they're a couple who will last, because they're so well-bonded. (Let me for now avoid diverging onto a bunch of headcanons about quadrants! *facepalming*)
mmm horn porn
Mwahaha, yes! The mental images of enormousrack!Dave lavishing attention on Karkat's useless, "unworthy" stubs is full of mmmmm... :D
Karkat does know that bro knows, yes
Okay; makes sense, since -- as you say -- it would be hard for Dave to avoid explanations when suddenly switching from "We're all doomed!" to "Nah dudes it's okay now". Kind of curious how Karkat regards it, though; has he even met Bro before at all? He seems pretty alarmed by the studio, so he probably hasn't ever been there before, but has he met Bro elsewhere? (Does Bro ever go places with Dave, or only the other way round, as in the party in the reporter-POV snippet?)
Now I'm curious about their pails, too; since Karkat's worried about bleeding in front of someone, but NOT worried about turning in pails with Dave and Terezi, they must be confident that the drones won't catch his mutation?
Secretly I'm so pleased that Karkat at least gets to confirm to himself that he'd be an awesome Threshecutioner, even if he doesn't get to pursue it all the way.
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dave's rust is dark enough that mixed with karkat's it looks like pretty bright but still acceptable rust (also they might sprinkle in some of terezi's, like not enough to ping as the genome of a third participant considering how disjointed troll genetic material is, but enough to dull it.)
i think if karkat didn't get to at least put that dream to a good end that he'd never get over it ;___; that'd make things way too angsty.
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Whoooo! The best answer is always a fic answer. :D
Dave's rust is dark enough
Aha. :D (And how very sneaky of them, adding a smidge of teal! Heehee. Maybe they ought to go into the painting business together...) I figured it was either "the other colours disguise it sufficiently" or else Drones don't do a visual assessment as such. (My headcanon leans toward the latter -- and that's why blood mutants are made out to be such a 'threat' to the Empire; if they lack outwardly-visible mutations, they could escape detection and breed, 'contaminating the slurry'/producing yet more mutants.)
at least put that dream to a good end
Yeah, it's bittersweet this way but at least he's spared eternal haunting by what-might-have-beens.
Not that he seems eager to embrace his new career, *wince* -- his defencive body language in the snippet was painful to envisage, and I hope he can find something to put him at least a little bit more at ease...