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fic teaser - sakura/hinata(/naruto) thing
So I've had this fic in my WIP folder for the last, oh, TWO YEARS.
It's stuck like a motherfucker. Loses steam somewhere after where this scene ends and I never found it again. But I still love the beginning. So, here you have it. Don't read if you can't stand the idea of a fic that might never be completed.
Be very aware: IT'S NOT COMPLETE and I'M STUCK. Waugh. So far it's pretty much all girl-banter.
Summary: Sakura, Hinata and Ino at a nightclub, discussing boy-catching strategies. (... it's not supposed to be a smart fic okay XD)
Hopeful end result: narusakuhina threesome porn & set-up for actual three-way relationship.
Notes: *Since I started it way before Hinata's confession, for this fic the Pain arc didn't happen. >__>;;
*I know I tend to make everything I write Sasucentric, so in this fic I forbade myself from mentioning him at all. It's surprisingly difficult, even though it shouldn't be.
*My headcanon actually goes the other way for InoSaku, but, y'know, fic demanded otherwise and it's not that much less plausible anyway. XD;;
"You know, I think -- I think he doesn't see me as a woman."
Hinata's head bowed low over the table, long wisps of black hair shadowing her face. In the vacillating lights of the dance club it was impossible to see her eyes. The posture was clear enough, though -- dejection. Sakura winced and leaned toward her, a hand resting lightly on her shoulder.
"Don't say that! Of course he knows you're a girl, I mean, he tried to protect you during that last joint mission, right? He wouldn't bother doing that with a boy." She left off a few choice words on what she thought of that macho prick attitude; the goal was to comfort Hinata, not to depress her some more by making her think the object of her affections didn't notice her fighting abilities any more than he noticed the rest of her.
Hinata shook her head no, head still hanging. "That's -- that's not... He sees me as a girl..." Sakura nodded, puzzled; but Hinata wasn't done. "...Not as a woman."
Ino made a disdainful moue and leaned back in the booth, propping her long legs on the padded bench to tempt the men on the dance floor with. "I see what you mean. He knows you're sweet and helpful and all, but he has no clue you'd love to ride him until his dick falls off."
Hinata's shoulders drooped some more, and Sakura glared at Ino over her head. Ino didn't have to be so blunt!
"W-well... Kind of. He just doesn't, I mean, when he looks at me, he..."
Sakura leaned toward Hinata; "Yes?" she prompted her, encouraging. Hinata mumbled something that Sakura was pretty sure she wouldn't have heard even if the music hadn't covered it. She sighed, trying not to be irritated.
Ino laughed throatily, downed the rest of her pretty, pretty cocktail, and slammed the glass on the table. "Speak up!"
"Ino-pig--!"
Hinata threw her head back and cried out with great despair, "He never imagines me naked!"
Sakura thanked her lucky stars that the god of irony and social embarrassment had missed his mark; the song only ended two seconds later. Hinata had still been loud enough that a group of guys close by turned and stared at their booth with interest. Of course then Ino crossed her legs over the corner of the table and they forgot to wonder whether Sakura or Hinata had been the one to yell that. Sakura wasn't jealous of her best friend at all, for the record.
Ino laughed, though not unkindly. "There, see? Not hard to say."
"Oh, like you can talk, you've never been afraid to share your thoughts on anything in your life," Sakura snapped. "Even when you damn well should have."
"It's okay, Sakura-chan," Hinata said with a wan smile. "Ino-chan is only trying to help..."
Oh, Sakura was sure she was trying to help -- Ino liked taking girls under her wing, mentoring them -- but 'only'? Not quite. She was getting quite a bit of free entertainment out of it.
"Okay, we're not out of options yet," Sakura said, trying to be encouraging. "We got you the clothes..."
They'd forced Hinata into a strappy top before going out, but she slouched so much it almost negated her cleavage and she kept tugging the bottom down to annihilate that narrow band of bare skin at her waist. When she found the courage to go and greet Naruto he hadn't even noticed; he had just said "hi!" very enthusiastically, asked Hinata if she was having fun yet, and had gone tearing off after Shikamaru who was trying to slink out of the club, forgetting to wait for her answer.
Oh, Sakura knew that Naruto was honestly interested in whether Hinata was having fun; it just didn't occur to him that she wouldn't speak up in case she wasn't. Suffering in silence just didn't belong in Naruto's world view.
Hinata slumped again. Ino tut-tutted and nudged her head back, a finger in the middle of Hinata's forehead. "It's not even the clothes! It's the body language. Honey, there's no way he'll notice your boobs if you curl around them like a hunchback."
Hinata made an effort to straighten up.
"And don't cross your arms like that either. It looks like you're expecting him to gore you with his cock."
"But I -- I'm cold!" she protested, blushing fiercely. Ino had been dropping casual mentions of blowjobs and reverse cowgirls into the conversation all night; Sakura could see Hinata was starting to be desensitized, but only starting. She rolled her eyes at the blonde.
Ino's measuring look softened into ruefulness. "Well of course, after getting used to huge jackets..."
Sakura sighed. "Her body language won't change in ten minutes just because she wills it to. It's the work of days of training, or even weeks or month." Ino seemed like she wanted to object; Sakura waved it off quickly before she could. "Besides, Naruto is so oblivious it will take a lot more than her simply walking with confidence to make him notice."
Ino conceded that point with a grim nod. The level of glum in Hinata's face rose up a few notches.
"He's never going to notice, isn't he. That I'm a woman, and-and I'm here, and I want -- and I'm not twelve anymore and I have a sex drive!"
Hinata slapped a hand on her mouth to catch words already escaped; then she gave a tortured whine and curled up, her forehead pressed against the table.
"I could handle it, if -- if he knew -- if I could tell he was aware... and I still wasn't his type. I could handle that," she said quietly. "But he just, it's as if I was put away in the 'platonic little sister' corner of his life and he never really..."
"He never kept the tag up to date," Sakura said grimly, nodding. "Naruto's like that all the time -- once he decides what he feels about someone, then he'll feel that to the end of the Earth. Unless something pretty drastic happens."
She didn't think Hinata had it in her to pull a Gaara or a Sai on him. Besides those had started out as intense dislike and changed for the better. The other way around, Naruto tended to be steadfast; she couldn't think of a single person he had started out honestly liking and went on to dislike. Then again he didn't need to. There was something about having Naruto's trust and admiration that made you want to live up to it somehow.
-- why was she woolgathering about that. She was supposed to help Hinata, and ...
... and Ino was smiling like the proverbial vixen in the chicken coop.
"Something drastic to get his attention, huh?"
Uh oh. "Well." Sakura eyed Hinata dubiously. "It would have to be drastic, considering."
Hinata gave her a poor little smile. "Yes, I'm pretty hopeless, am I not." She took in a deep, bracing breath and looked at Ino, who still lounged across the whole bench like a possessive cat. "What was your idea, Ino-chan, please?" She looked vaguely apprehensive for a moment. "It doesn't involve, I mean, I wouldn't have to get naked, right?"
Ino looked too smug as she watched Hinata's expectant face. Sakura narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I'm curious as well. How do you propose she get that idiot's attention?"
Ino tapped her cocktail umbrella against her lips and smiled.
"I hear fake lesbianism works pretty well."
Sakura shot up to her feet and slapped her hands on the table. "Get out!"
Hinata had once again gone red enough to tell despite the bad lighting. "F-fake...?"
"Mmh. Nothing gets a boy's head snapping around faster than two girls tongue-kissing with their legs tangled together." Ino smirked knowingly. "Either of his heads, actually."
"Ino!" Sakura snarled, and forced her strident voice to drop to a low growl to keep from being overheard. "You're not taking advantage of Hinata-chan's problem to -- to..."
"Teach her tongue tricks guaranteed to make Naruto beg for more?"
"Yes. That. You're not."
Fists planted on the table, Sakura glared at her best friend. Ino had her elbow propped up casually and that secret look still floated in her eyes. It was so irritating, as if she knew a hundred things Sakura would never learn, like she had already won against Sakura and it wasn't worth the bother to explain how.
"Ino-pig, you're not. You're not going to steal Hinata-chan's first kiss in a sleazy attempt to--"
"Oh, I had it already," Hinata said unthinkingly, and eeped when Ino and Sakura's heads jerked around to stare at her. "Ah, it's nothing, it was, um. I was thirteen and... It was Kiba-kun actually. You see, um, when we'd just met, Akamaru licked me on the mouth and I was a little upset that it hadn't been with, well, with a boy, and so he... Well. It was just a tiny kiss. He never mentioned it again."
Surprised, Sakura couldn't keep from chuckling at that. "Heh, that's cute."
Hinata smiled shyly, and then looked up, earnest and a little sad. "Why should it be sleazy, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura stammered. "Well, uh -- well, it's--"
"It's a porn movie thing, is what she believes," Ino drawled. She blew on her bang and tilted her head so it wouldn't hide her eye, staring straight at Sakura with a challenging expression. "Isn't it? Making out with girls when you don't want girls as significant others, just because it feels nice -- it's something for bad, dirty girls, and she doesn't think you've got any bad girl in you at all, Hinata-chan."
Sakura's cheeks burned, and she glared right back, speechless. Damn Ino for being right. It was criminal to read someone that well.
Ino didn't think it was dirty. She just thought it was fun, a safe thrill. Sakura... Sakura thought it was fun too. But mostly because it was naughty. It was good because it was wrong, the sheer attraction of 'shouldn't'. Shouldn't... because they were both girls. Shouldn't... because they didn't love each other like that.
(Shouldn't because Sakura could have. But Ino couldn't love her back, not the right way, not the right amount, and their friendship was tangled enough as it was. So it was wrong to do it anyway. It was good because of that.)
"Drop it, Ino," she said, tired. "I'm not letting you make out with Hinata."
Ino arched her eyebrows in mock surprise. "Whyever not?"
"Because you'd make it all about the spectacle, and that's not Hinata at all! We want Naruto to want to date her, not to see her as a backstreet hookup!"
Hinata's hand touched her shoulder lightly, startling her. The girl's moonlike eyes seemed sad. "Sakura-chan... Why does it have to be sleazy?"
Sakura floundered briefly. "Well -- the basic idea -- it's already pretty sleazy in itself, you know! So as bait..."
Huffing, Ino pointed with her paper umbrella. "We want Naruto to notice her sexually, yeah? But in a way that doesn't make him think she's taken."
"What if he thinks she really is a lesbian, huh?"
Ino rolled her eyes. "He knows the two of us aren't. And even if he misunderstands it would only take a 'Oh, no, we were just being friendly' or something. Lots of guys seem to imagine girls can't do anything with each other apart from cuddling cutely and waiting for a man to jump in the middle. They wouldn't think a girl is physically unable to be interested in them, at least not before she actually tells them so. A dozen times."
"And we're really helping with the stereotype here," Sakura muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
She growled. "Nothing."
"Sakura-chan..." Hinata tugged a little on Sakura's arm; Sakura remembered she was still looming over the table and sank down on her bench, embarrassed. "You know, it isn't as if I'm desperate enough it would count as taking advantage," she said gently.
Sakura blushed. Oh, she wasn't any better than Naruto -- contrary to him, she knew that Hinata was tiring of her chastity, and still Sakura tried to keep even the notion of sex and all its not-so-clean, not-so-nice sides hidden away from her, as if the girl would stain indelibly if she heard anything more than 'it makes babies'.
"Are you really thinking about doing it?" she asked, looking at Hinata with worry.
Hinata flushed and stared intently at a pattern her finger was tracing in the wood of the table. "Well. You know Naruto-kun. I'm afraid, that is... I'm afraid nothing less will work." She sighed, frustration making her voice plaintive and tired. "I've tried being subtle and I've tried being -- a little less subtle, and I've tried just being there when he needs me and I've even tried allowing him to see just how much he -- he flusters me -- I showed him that, and all he did was ask me if I was okay--"
She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders.
"I think... It's pretty much that or going naked."
Ino snickered. "Oh, knowing him, he'd ogle, and then blush, offer you his jacket, and avoid you forever. That knucklehead."
Sakura's shoulders slumped. "Oh yeah, that's him indeed. It's just, I don't think it's right to, well..."
"Oh, please." Irritated now, Ino rolled her eyes. "You're such a prude."
Sakura shook her head furiously. "I'm not a prude! It's not like I think everyone should get married as a virgin! It's okay to make out with people you don't see yourself married with, but not with people you know perfectly well you would never even date. That's just--"
Eyes narrowed, Ino waved off her concerns with a curt flick of the wrist. "Well, I'm not of the same opinion, so if Hinata isn't either then --"
"I'll do it," Sakura snapped, before Ino could.
There was no way she would let Ino -- Ino was an exhibitionist. Well, maybe not that bad, but she liked being pretty and she liked being seen and being noticed, and when she drank a little -- like tonight -- she even liked putting on a little show. Sakura liked it too -- sometimes. But there was no way she would allow Ino to put on a show with Hinata; the poor girl would combust. She wouldn't relax if everyone stared, and if she was as pliant and sensual as a wooden doll then the whole show would be pretty useless. On top of looking like molestation.
Sakura didn't want Ino to kiss Hinata. Cuddle her. Caress her. Just... she'd tease too much and push too much and... Hinata wasn't like Sakura to Ino; she wasn't a rival and a favorite toy all rolled into one, one who could give as good as she got. Ino and Hinata, no, that wasn't right at all.
"You'll do it?" Ino repeated, slow and amused, and when Sakura fully realized what she'd just said and looked up, it was to see Ino grinning, and oh hell that bitch had planned it from the start.
"W-well then," Hinata said, sitting very straight with her hands on her knees and her eyes a little wide, flustered. And then she scrunched her eyes closed and bowed from the waist, so sharply it sent her hair flying. "Please take care of me!"
Sakura felt warmth gather in her belly, felt things inside clench with sudden tension.
"... Ah..." She swallowed. "I'll -- I'll do my best."
It's stuck like a motherfucker. Loses steam somewhere after where this scene ends and I never found it again. But I still love the beginning. So, here you have it. Don't read if you can't stand the idea of a fic that might never be completed.
Be very aware: IT'S NOT COMPLETE and I'M STUCK. Waugh. So far it's pretty much all girl-banter.
Summary: Sakura, Hinata and Ino at a nightclub, discussing boy-catching strategies. (... it's not supposed to be a smart fic okay XD)
Hopeful end result: narusakuhina threesome porn & set-up for actual three-way relationship.
Notes: *Since I started it way before Hinata's confession, for this fic the Pain arc didn't happen. >__>;;
*I know I tend to make everything I write Sasucentric, so in this fic I forbade myself from mentioning him at all. It's surprisingly difficult, even though it shouldn't be.
*My headcanon actually goes the other way for InoSaku, but, y'know, fic demanded otherwise and it's not that much less plausible anyway. XD;;
"You know, I think -- I think he doesn't see me as a woman."
Hinata's head bowed low over the table, long wisps of black hair shadowing her face. In the vacillating lights of the dance club it was impossible to see her eyes. The posture was clear enough, though -- dejection. Sakura winced and leaned toward her, a hand resting lightly on her shoulder.
"Don't say that! Of course he knows you're a girl, I mean, he tried to protect you during that last joint mission, right? He wouldn't bother doing that with a boy." She left off a few choice words on what she thought of that macho prick attitude; the goal was to comfort Hinata, not to depress her some more by making her think the object of her affections didn't notice her fighting abilities any more than he noticed the rest of her.
Hinata shook her head no, head still hanging. "That's -- that's not... He sees me as a girl..." Sakura nodded, puzzled; but Hinata wasn't done. "...Not as a woman."
Ino made a disdainful moue and leaned back in the booth, propping her long legs on the padded bench to tempt the men on the dance floor with. "I see what you mean. He knows you're sweet and helpful and all, but he has no clue you'd love to ride him until his dick falls off."
Hinata's shoulders drooped some more, and Sakura glared at Ino over her head. Ino didn't have to be so blunt!
"W-well... Kind of. He just doesn't, I mean, when he looks at me, he..."
Sakura leaned toward Hinata; "Yes?" she prompted her, encouraging. Hinata mumbled something that Sakura was pretty sure she wouldn't have heard even if the music hadn't covered it. She sighed, trying not to be irritated.
Ino laughed throatily, downed the rest of her pretty, pretty cocktail, and slammed the glass on the table. "Speak up!"
"Ino-pig--!"
Hinata threw her head back and cried out with great despair, "He never imagines me naked!"
Sakura thanked her lucky stars that the god of irony and social embarrassment had missed his mark; the song only ended two seconds later. Hinata had still been loud enough that a group of guys close by turned and stared at their booth with interest. Of course then Ino crossed her legs over the corner of the table and they forgot to wonder whether Sakura or Hinata had been the one to yell that. Sakura wasn't jealous of her best friend at all, for the record.
Ino laughed, though not unkindly. "There, see? Not hard to say."
"Oh, like you can talk, you've never been afraid to share your thoughts on anything in your life," Sakura snapped. "Even when you damn well should have."
"It's okay, Sakura-chan," Hinata said with a wan smile. "Ino-chan is only trying to help..."
Oh, Sakura was sure she was trying to help -- Ino liked taking girls under her wing, mentoring them -- but 'only'? Not quite. She was getting quite a bit of free entertainment out of it.
"Okay, we're not out of options yet," Sakura said, trying to be encouraging. "We got you the clothes..."
They'd forced Hinata into a strappy top before going out, but she slouched so much it almost negated her cleavage and she kept tugging the bottom down to annihilate that narrow band of bare skin at her waist. When she found the courage to go and greet Naruto he hadn't even noticed; he had just said "hi!" very enthusiastically, asked Hinata if she was having fun yet, and had gone tearing off after Shikamaru who was trying to slink out of the club, forgetting to wait for her answer.
Oh, Sakura knew that Naruto was honestly interested in whether Hinata was having fun; it just didn't occur to him that she wouldn't speak up in case she wasn't. Suffering in silence just didn't belong in Naruto's world view.
Hinata slumped again. Ino tut-tutted and nudged her head back, a finger in the middle of Hinata's forehead. "It's not even the clothes! It's the body language. Honey, there's no way he'll notice your boobs if you curl around them like a hunchback."
Hinata made an effort to straighten up.
"And don't cross your arms like that either. It looks like you're expecting him to gore you with his cock."
"But I -- I'm cold!" she protested, blushing fiercely. Ino had been dropping casual mentions of blowjobs and reverse cowgirls into the conversation all night; Sakura could see Hinata was starting to be desensitized, but only starting. She rolled her eyes at the blonde.
Ino's measuring look softened into ruefulness. "Well of course, after getting used to huge jackets..."
Sakura sighed. "Her body language won't change in ten minutes just because she wills it to. It's the work of days of training, or even weeks or month." Ino seemed like she wanted to object; Sakura waved it off quickly before she could. "Besides, Naruto is so oblivious it will take a lot more than her simply walking with confidence to make him notice."
Ino conceded that point with a grim nod. The level of glum in Hinata's face rose up a few notches.
"He's never going to notice, isn't he. That I'm a woman, and-and I'm here, and I want -- and I'm not twelve anymore and I have a sex drive!"
Hinata slapped a hand on her mouth to catch words already escaped; then she gave a tortured whine and curled up, her forehead pressed against the table.
"I could handle it, if -- if he knew -- if I could tell he was aware... and I still wasn't his type. I could handle that," she said quietly. "But he just, it's as if I was put away in the 'platonic little sister' corner of his life and he never really..."
"He never kept the tag up to date," Sakura said grimly, nodding. "Naruto's like that all the time -- once he decides what he feels about someone, then he'll feel that to the end of the Earth. Unless something pretty drastic happens."
She didn't think Hinata had it in her to pull a Gaara or a Sai on him. Besides those had started out as intense dislike and changed for the better. The other way around, Naruto tended to be steadfast; she couldn't think of a single person he had started out honestly liking and went on to dislike. Then again he didn't need to. There was something about having Naruto's trust and admiration that made you want to live up to it somehow.
-- why was she woolgathering about that. She was supposed to help Hinata, and ...
... and Ino was smiling like the proverbial vixen in the chicken coop.
"Something drastic to get his attention, huh?"
Uh oh. "Well." Sakura eyed Hinata dubiously. "It would have to be drastic, considering."
Hinata gave her a poor little smile. "Yes, I'm pretty hopeless, am I not." She took in a deep, bracing breath and looked at Ino, who still lounged across the whole bench like a possessive cat. "What was your idea, Ino-chan, please?" She looked vaguely apprehensive for a moment. "It doesn't involve, I mean, I wouldn't have to get naked, right?"
Ino looked too smug as she watched Hinata's expectant face. Sakura narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I'm curious as well. How do you propose she get that idiot's attention?"
Ino tapped her cocktail umbrella against her lips and smiled.
"I hear fake lesbianism works pretty well."
Sakura shot up to her feet and slapped her hands on the table. "Get out!"
Hinata had once again gone red enough to tell despite the bad lighting. "F-fake...?"
"Mmh. Nothing gets a boy's head snapping around faster than two girls tongue-kissing with their legs tangled together." Ino smirked knowingly. "Either of his heads, actually."
"Ino!" Sakura snarled, and forced her strident voice to drop to a low growl to keep from being overheard. "You're not taking advantage of Hinata-chan's problem to -- to..."
"Teach her tongue tricks guaranteed to make Naruto beg for more?"
"Yes. That. You're not."
Fists planted on the table, Sakura glared at her best friend. Ino had her elbow propped up casually and that secret look still floated in her eyes. It was so irritating, as if she knew a hundred things Sakura would never learn, like she had already won against Sakura and it wasn't worth the bother to explain how.
"Ino-pig, you're not. You're not going to steal Hinata-chan's first kiss in a sleazy attempt to--"
"Oh, I had it already," Hinata said unthinkingly, and eeped when Ino and Sakura's heads jerked around to stare at her. "Ah, it's nothing, it was, um. I was thirteen and... It was Kiba-kun actually. You see, um, when we'd just met, Akamaru licked me on the mouth and I was a little upset that it hadn't been with, well, with a boy, and so he... Well. It was just a tiny kiss. He never mentioned it again."
Surprised, Sakura couldn't keep from chuckling at that. "Heh, that's cute."
Hinata smiled shyly, and then looked up, earnest and a little sad. "Why should it be sleazy, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura stammered. "Well, uh -- well, it's--"
"It's a porn movie thing, is what she believes," Ino drawled. She blew on her bang and tilted her head so it wouldn't hide her eye, staring straight at Sakura with a challenging expression. "Isn't it? Making out with girls when you don't want girls as significant others, just because it feels nice -- it's something for bad, dirty girls, and she doesn't think you've got any bad girl in you at all, Hinata-chan."
Sakura's cheeks burned, and she glared right back, speechless. Damn Ino for being right. It was criminal to read someone that well.
Ino didn't think it was dirty. She just thought it was fun, a safe thrill. Sakura... Sakura thought it was fun too. But mostly because it was naughty. It was good because it was wrong, the sheer attraction of 'shouldn't'. Shouldn't... because they were both girls. Shouldn't... because they didn't love each other like that.
(Shouldn't because Sakura could have. But Ino couldn't love her back, not the right way, not the right amount, and their friendship was tangled enough as it was. So it was wrong to do it anyway. It was good because of that.)
"Drop it, Ino," she said, tired. "I'm not letting you make out with Hinata."
Ino arched her eyebrows in mock surprise. "Whyever not?"
"Because you'd make it all about the spectacle, and that's not Hinata at all! We want Naruto to want to date her, not to see her as a backstreet hookup!"
Hinata's hand touched her shoulder lightly, startling her. The girl's moonlike eyes seemed sad. "Sakura-chan... Why does it have to be sleazy?"
Sakura floundered briefly. "Well -- the basic idea -- it's already pretty sleazy in itself, you know! So as bait..."
Huffing, Ino pointed with her paper umbrella. "We want Naruto to notice her sexually, yeah? But in a way that doesn't make him think she's taken."
"What if he thinks she really is a lesbian, huh?"
Ino rolled her eyes. "He knows the two of us aren't. And even if he misunderstands it would only take a 'Oh, no, we were just being friendly' or something. Lots of guys seem to imagine girls can't do anything with each other apart from cuddling cutely and waiting for a man to jump in the middle. They wouldn't think a girl is physically unable to be interested in them, at least not before she actually tells them so. A dozen times."
"And we're really helping with the stereotype here," Sakura muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
She growled. "Nothing."
"Sakura-chan..." Hinata tugged a little on Sakura's arm; Sakura remembered she was still looming over the table and sank down on her bench, embarrassed. "You know, it isn't as if I'm desperate enough it would count as taking advantage," she said gently.
Sakura blushed. Oh, she wasn't any better than Naruto -- contrary to him, she knew that Hinata was tiring of her chastity, and still Sakura tried to keep even the notion of sex and all its not-so-clean, not-so-nice sides hidden away from her, as if the girl would stain indelibly if she heard anything more than 'it makes babies'.
"Are you really thinking about doing it?" she asked, looking at Hinata with worry.
Hinata flushed and stared intently at a pattern her finger was tracing in the wood of the table. "Well. You know Naruto-kun. I'm afraid, that is... I'm afraid nothing less will work." She sighed, frustration making her voice plaintive and tired. "I've tried being subtle and I've tried being -- a little less subtle, and I've tried just being there when he needs me and I've even tried allowing him to see just how much he -- he flusters me -- I showed him that, and all he did was ask me if I was okay--"
She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders.
"I think... It's pretty much that or going naked."
Ino snickered. "Oh, knowing him, he'd ogle, and then blush, offer you his jacket, and avoid you forever. That knucklehead."
Sakura's shoulders slumped. "Oh yeah, that's him indeed. It's just, I don't think it's right to, well..."
"Oh, please." Irritated now, Ino rolled her eyes. "You're such a prude."
Sakura shook her head furiously. "I'm not a prude! It's not like I think everyone should get married as a virgin! It's okay to make out with people you don't see yourself married with, but not with people you know perfectly well you would never even date. That's just--"
Eyes narrowed, Ino waved off her concerns with a curt flick of the wrist. "Well, I'm not of the same opinion, so if Hinata isn't either then --"
"I'll do it," Sakura snapped, before Ino could.
There was no way she would let Ino -- Ino was an exhibitionist. Well, maybe not that bad, but she liked being pretty and she liked being seen and being noticed, and when she drank a little -- like tonight -- she even liked putting on a little show. Sakura liked it too -- sometimes. But there was no way she would allow Ino to put on a show with Hinata; the poor girl would combust. She wouldn't relax if everyone stared, and if she was as pliant and sensual as a wooden doll then the whole show would be pretty useless. On top of looking like molestation.
Sakura didn't want Ino to kiss Hinata. Cuddle her. Caress her. Just... she'd tease too much and push too much and... Hinata wasn't like Sakura to Ino; she wasn't a rival and a favorite toy all rolled into one, one who could give as good as she got. Ino and Hinata, no, that wasn't right at all.
"You'll do it?" Ino repeated, slow and amused, and when Sakura fully realized what she'd just said and looked up, it was to see Ino grinning, and oh hell that bitch had planned it from the start.
"W-well then," Hinata said, sitting very straight with her hands on her knees and her eyes a little wide, flustered. And then she scrunched her eyes closed and bowed from the waist, so sharply it sent her hair flying. "Please take care of me!"
Sakura felt warmth gather in her belly, felt things inside clench with sudden tension.
"... Ah..." She swallowed. "I'll -- I'll do my best."
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(Anonymous) 2010-04-05 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)Ok, so I was skeptical when I saw your premise here (I'm gay, right? And the "let's fake lesbianism to get boys' attention" thing really backfires on us), but I really liked the way you handled it. Sakura said all the stuff that I was thinking, and then we let Ino convince us. Have you thought about a POV switch after that scene? Naruto going "ohgodhuh?" might be easier to write than Hinata and Sakura.
"They wouldn't think a girl is physically unable to be interested in them, at least not before she actually tells them so. A dozen times," made me laugh. Ohgod, SO TRUE. And even then, usually "I'm gay" just gets "well, have you ever been with a man?" If the answer is yes, then clearly, you just haven't been with the right one yet (the right one being, of course, them).
"Please take care of me!" is such an adorably Hinata thing to say. I can also imagine what she would be saying in Japanese really clearly, and it's just as funny that way.
The only thing I saw was that you described Naruto as "a honorable [something]," and "a" should have been "an."
Sorry for more commentary from the Lurker Club-- hope it's ok ;;;;;
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Yeah, this works for me, and I'm gay too.
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2. I like Ino and Sakura's voice here. Hinata...I dunno, still good but seems a little off somehow. Then again, that might just be because I tend to think of her as much more shy and flusterable than she gets in all of this- but you do justify that with the 'desenitized' line, and I do get that her other big trait is being determined to roll with hardship when her back's to the wall....and since it might derail the whole fic before it begins if she gets too shy or acts too innocent...let's move on.
3. The aside about Naruto steadfastly holding on to his view of a person no matter what is well said.
4.I'm digging Sakura's Tsunade-esque response to Ino's suggestion- loud, noisy, and violent.
5. The little back and forth between Ino and Sakura hits the canon buttons in their relationship while fairly seamlessly working in the added 'liking girls' bit. I'm also a huge fan of this line- 'It was so irritating, as if she knew a hundred things Sakura would never learn, like she had already won against Sakura and it wasn't worth the bother to explain how.' mostly because I can appreciate in retrospect how Sakura's having her own strings pulled right now, not the least of which is her protective instinct and her desire not to be shown up by Ino. It also adds a bit of a sharper edge of bitterness to their whole dynamic when she's telling Ino that Hinata's not going to be used by her, with an unspoken 'like you did me' mentally added to the end.
6. 'Why does it have to be sleazy?'. That was great. All at once you give a hint that maybe Hinata has thought about this a bit more than one might expect, you juxtapose a fairly innocent and hopeful outlook against Sakura's rather vehement and bitter one, and you change the direction of the conversation.
7. I like how at the bottom of Sakura's feelings about this whole suggestion you close off her last thought in brackets. Deep down, secret within secret, she disapproves of it because she can't just laugh it off and move on.
8. heh. Its a nice dynamic, the way you have Hinata gently but firmly reminding Sakura throughout this conversation that she's not exactly a naive or helpless little girl here. It also seems to fluster the hell out of Sakura, which is also fun.
9. Hinata's rundown of her efforts does make me empathize with her, but it also makes me wonder about one point- you've tried this, and this, and this, so why aren't you trying 'be forward and ask him out!' before 'pretend your a lesbian!'? Knowing that he's so oblivious, why are you waiting to make the first move here?
10. I like the two paragraphs directly behind Sakura's volunteering to do the deed. The first is very practical- Ino would be too forceful, go too far, Hinata would clam up and the whole ruse goes south. The second is more emotional- I get a sense that Sakura sees a bit of former self in Hinata- innocent and in need of help, and she's still a little bitter at the kind of 'help' she got from Ino. Very right brained, left brained, put back to back like that.
11. And snap goes the trap. hate to say it, Sakura. You pretty much walked right into that one. i know this isn't your canon Ino, but I kinda like the cool, sly pig girl quite a bit. And hey, you gotta give credit to someone who can maneuver things in such a way that it will both help advance a relationship (maybe for all three of them) while more or less doubling what was already an entertaining scenario.
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She didn't think Hinata had it in her to pull a Gaara or a Sai on him. Besides, those had started out as intense dislike and changed for the better. The other way around, Naruto tended to be steadfast; she couldn't think of a single person he had started out honestly liking and went on to dislike. Then again, he didn't need to. There was something about having Naruto's trust and admiration that made you want to live up to it somehow.
It's kind of bizarre not seeing something about Sasuke in there. So much of the manga and the dynamics of Team 7 and Naruto and Sakura's characters are wrapped up in him that it feels like there's a gaping hole in the discussion of Naruto's relationships with people. The rest of the fic does perfectly fine without Sasuke--it's not about him, it's about Hinata's Man Trouble + Ino's Lulz Trouble = Sakura's Woman Trouble.
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That said, the title brought my thoughts to this (http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pic-66045.html) (mature) picture.
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Because I hardly get a chance to use that yuri icon, ahaha? Sorry? ^^;; I think Sakura is being cute!
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I would so HIT THAT. Your Ino is the hottest thing in Fire Country.
I like Sakura's thought process, and Hinata being slowly convinced. Hinata's distinction between 'girl' and 'woman' strikes me as very much a Hinata thing to do, that she'd get it and she'd put it this way without needing it to be pointed out to her first.
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(also, I've started actually choosing icons to post with since I'm posting so much... you're such a good influence, making me be proactive!)
~Sara