FF7 fic - Restore - chapter 5 part 3

[askerian]

As always, first draft -- if you see anything that needs clarification or grammar editing or have any other kind of crit, please don't hesitate. ♥

My god but Zack is a giant sap.

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Zack would have taken the money the guy handed him without a comment if he hadn't been grinning so widely. Intimate with wide grins of all kinds, Zack could tell this one was of the 'haha, please don't notice the wool I'm pulling over your eyes' variety.

He looked down at the couple of coins in his hand. He had no idea what a gil was worth nowadays, in a city still in the process of rebuilding itself, and the basic cup of coffee the guy had asked for was such a staple Tifa hadn't bothered writing down the price anywhere.

So he just arched an eyebrow (the other one followed it upward a bit, he couldn't pull it off as well as Seph naturally could) and inquired with dubious politeness, "Are you sure that's right?"

A couple of "oh, oops, sorry, I didn't notice!" excuses later and a sheepish hand rose to add another coin, more than doubling the total. Zack discreetly committed the amount to memory.

"It's alright," he replied with a little laugh, not meaning it one bit. "Everyone gets distracted sometimes. Have a good day!"

The man slunk out. Zack dropped the coins in his rapidly-filling pocket -- he didn't have the cash register's key -- and went back to the sink. The room was almost empty; he could afford not to pay attention.

It was crazy how much dishwashing you had to do in a bar. He was going to lose all his calluses at this rate.

He looked down at his wet hands, soap bubbles clustered in his palm.

Maybe it would be a good thing. They didn't have the right callus patterns anyway. It would probably throw his sword-grip off.

He didn't even know what Aaron Bergsten had specialized in. Fists? Nunchuks? Pole arms maybe? Zack closed his eyes, trailed his index along the bumps at the base of his other hand's fingers, trying to feel out the shape of it. Not broadsword, at any rate, definitely not epee. Maybe ninjato -- he had no clue how the reverse hold would shape a hand.

When he opened his eyes it looked like his hand anyway, a swordsman's hand, the palm rough, tendons apparent even at rest. When he touched Cloud he knew that was what Cloud felt. He wasn't sure cold steel would be so easily fooled.

The last customer was getting ready to leave, folding her newspaper as she puffed away on her pipe. He didn't think she'd want to stay and chat, keep him distracted. But he supposed he couldn't avoid thinking about stuff forever, anyway, so he summoned a smile and yet another "have a good day", and followed her to the door so he could lock it closed and flip the sign.

The cup joined the rest of its brethren in the full sink, for approximately ten seconds before he clenched a bit hard and porcelain cracked.

"Aw, shit, not again."

Sighing, he fished around for the pieces and threw them away with the other two broken glasses and the one knife he'd managed to fuck up somehow. Alright then, never mind. He'd let it all soak for a bit.

It was like rising to First Class all over again. Hell, sometimes it was like rising to Third, because in First Class he'd had precedent to give him an idea of what he was in for. At least his senses weren't acting up as well; it was just his fine motor control going kind of iffy.

Zack sighed to himself, dried his hands, and walked out of the bar, turning off the lights as he went. He dug in the fridge for sandwich fixings. Maybe he ought to get Aeris, have lunch with her -- but no, she'd want to stay in the attic with Seph, in case he woke up.

Well. Two sandwiches, then. He wasn't sure he remembered her tastes, but it wasn't like there was a lot of choice anyway. He picked them up and went upstairs.

He couldn't resist pausing on Cloud's threshold and watching the array of swords lined up against the wall. Whoa. Claymores, sabers, bastard swords, a couple of katana... One of them looked like it was made entirely out of crystal, of all things. Maybe materia? He couldn't even imagine how much gil it was worth. His fingers itched with the desire to pick one up, give it a couple of testing swings.

Yeah, and then Cloud would come back home to a newly aerated bedroom, fashionable slashes through the walls letting in the invigorating cold winds! It was a little frustrating. Zack had no idea how he'd handle a sword, where his body would show stress, what kind of pace he would be able to sustain for how long. What he wouldn't give to go out, find a yard, and practice old basic drills for a couple of hours...

The second Cloud came back, he'd drag him out and they'd spar.

... The second Cloud came back, he'd bring all of Avalanche along and it would be trial time. Zack sighed, raked his hand through his hair, and trudged up the last flight of stairs.

"Hi, babe."

Aeris had found an armchair in the clutter and curled in like a cat, as if cold. Her eyes were closed. Zack blinked and stepped closer, nudging her shoulder.

"Hey. Asleep?"

Aeris raised her head and blinked thoughtful green eyes up at him -- no confusion, no sleepiness. Zack tilted his head.

"I was just thinking."

He sat on one of the chair's padded arms and held out a sandwich to her. "About?"

She took the offering, staring at him for a second before nibbling delicately. "The Planet. I was so used to being right in the thick of it, I think I forgot how it really was to be outside. It all feels strange." She flicked him a smile. "Or maybe it's just being three floors up from the ground."

"Heh. I keep breaking glasses," he confided, commiserating. "We should have expected some weirdness, I guess."

"Mmh."

They chewed on their sandwiches in silence for a few minutes. Zack's eyes drifted to the body on the mattress, resting straight on his back with both hands resting on top of the sheets. Sephiroth had the most unnatural sleeping position ever. Zack didn't know anyone who wouldn't even just turn their head to one side or bring a hand up. Made him look like he was anesthetized rather than asleep... Which -- alright -- right now he was. But even when he wasn't knocked out he slept like that.

It was sort of reassuring, actually. A little bit. He could almost tell himself the General was just taking a nap.

"Zack? You're frowning."

"--ah." He rubbed at the line between his brows reflexively. "It's kinda weird to see him asleep when people are so close," he said quietly.

Aeris spared him a little shoulder-pat. "It is the best solution, you know, Zack."

He let out a little throaty growl. "Yeah. Believe me, I really do understand their stance. It's just... I'm kind of bummed there's a 'us and them' thing in the first place."

They sighed in unison, and then blinked at each other and laughed a little -- then laughed harder for how identical their reactions had been. For a second it was so familiar and comforting and -- and familiar -- he couldn't breathe.

"I guess we're still connected," Aeris commented, smiling a little too much. "Even if I can't --"

Zack tilted his head. "Can't what?"

"... Can't feel you the same way, I suppose." She nibbled on her lower lip, eyes unfocused. He only blinked again.

"How d'you mean that?" He walked his fingers up her arm, just because she was in reach.

"In the Lifestream, of course. Don't you remember? Sometimes it was like we shared one mind."

For a second he totally blanked on what she meant. Of course he was aware they'd been dead and together and had decided to come back, but...

He saw her eyes widen and her pupils tighten and maybe she paled a little, and then -- click. The Lifestream. While they were dead. They'd been together -- had felt each other, had... traveled together... but he didn't really remember moving.

He remembered the shape of her mind. He couldn't put it in words or images, and it was so vast he realized he was forgetting the edges already, like a crystal-clear dream fraying away upon waking. He thought of multi-dimensional snowflakes, knowing that this was the closest he would get and that even so it still wasn't right.

He knew he had a strange look on his face, but he couldn't help it; he wasn't even sure what he felt. Surprise, bemusement, worry... Confusion, mostly. "It's funny," he said slowly, measuring his words. "I know what we talked about when we were there. I know about -- your childhood, and Seph's first mission, and stuff like that. But I don't remember it. I can't remember you telling me."

For a long moment she just stared at him. He stared back, a little lost, stomach clenched.

"I think I was remembering more before we went to bed, but then we slept and... I don't know."

"What's your mother's middle name?" she asked, hands grasping the chair's arm.

"Lobelia, she hates it," he replied without needing to think. "What...?"

"First pet?"

"A baby snake I found, it was the cutest thing, but then it ate my cousin's dog. Aeris, what's wron--ooh, shit." He grabbed her upper arms, moved off his perch to crouch in front of her, leaning into her space. "No, babe, no, I'm fine -- you put me back just fine, I swear, it's just the Lifestream I forgot."

Aeris closed her eyes and sank back against the cushions all at once, suddenly boneless. He felt her hands shake in reaction in his grasp. "Ah. Heh. For a second I just..."

She forced her eyes open, attempted a smile -- he pulled her in his arms. She melted off her chair and on his lap, and then he was sitting on his ass on the wooden floor with Aeris straddling his thighs and clinging to his neck, and that was fine with him. He rubbed her back, feeling guilt tighten his throat for scaring her so badly.

"I'm fine, I'm all me, and even if I was missing a couple memories here and there, so what? If I can't notice them missing, they must not have been important. I know all I need to know." He kissed her white neck softly. "I know I love you. I know I love your sneaky, evil sense of humor and I love flirting with you and I love that you love your flowers. I know your mom is like a dragon I have to find a different way past every time I visit, and I love your mom for loving you that much and for being such a hard-ass about it, I swear she'd give Sergeant Dobner hard-ass envy."

"You're babbling," she replied, smiling against his neck.

"I love babbling too. Oh, and I love swords, and I love Seph, and I love Cloud, and that bike of his is pretty sweet, I'm gonna love borrowing it. And did I mention swords, I friggin' adore them."

His hands kept running up and down her back, through her long tangles of hair. She was warm, and curvy, and soft. He nuzzled her hair and breathed in, reveling in his senses. He wanted to squeeze, hold her so tight there was no inch of space left between them, but he still remembered the coffee cup and he didn't want to risk misjudging the amount of strength he could apply safely.

"Silly," she called him. Zack gave a falsely offended huff and maneuvered them both into the armchair, which creaked alarmingly under their combined weight. Um, well. He supposed there must be a reason why it was relegated to the attic, but as long as it didn't break under them just yet... They'd just have to move elsewhere when things became more vigorous. If things became -- well. Because he didn't trust his control, and, well -- Aaron Bergsten. It was a little weird to use someone else's body to have sex with his girlfriend, even if the guy was long dead and moved on. Turned him off a bit, to be honest, but when he had Aeris in his arms it was really easy to...

... Wait a minute. Shit, he couldn't --

"Zack?" Aeris asked, staring at his face.

He stared back for a second and then laughed, embarrassed. "Aw, hell, nothing, I had a stupid moment."

"What about?"

He could feel his cheeks heat up. "Uh, promise not to laugh... For a second I was all 'oh, shit, I can't remember our first time together!'"

Aeris blinked slowly and tilted her head. "... Zack. My mother was a dragon, remember?"

He laughed again, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I know, I remember we've never gotten that far, but it just doesn't feel that way at all -- so for a moment I was kinda... 'Shit, I can't believe I forgot that.' Well duh, it hasn't happened yet."

Aeris stifled a snicker and gave him a mock-serious look. "I understand -- I guess that all that mystical my-mind-in-yours we were having in the Lifestream was pretty much brain sex anyway. It's too bad you forgot, it was pretty sexy, all those synapses..."

"Oh, urgh, the mental pictures!" he protested, imagining two soggy lumps of gray matter attempting to get it on.

The she-devil gave him the most serene smile ever, like she had no clue about his trauma.

"...Well. your mother isn't around now." Zack gave Aeris a speculative look, his arms still around her waist.

"She isn't," Aeris repeated in a noncommittal voice.

"But she'll be around soon, and once she's around it'll be damn hard to pry her off."

"That does sound likely."

Zack waited, but Aeris just blinked at him cutely and didn't add anything.

"... We should totally have sex while we can. Say, right now?"

"That does sound like a fascinating idea, Zack, but..." She pointed at the still form on the mattress behind them, breathing slow and steady, not a single silver hair out of place.

He sent her back her polite, thoughtful look. "Well, yes, I agree we should have sex with him too, but maybe we should wait until he's awake."

She laughed, like he had hoped. He expected her to hit his shoulder or otherwise protest his dirty joke; but of course he wouldn't have been half so in love if she wasn't kind of awesomely crazy.

"There's a nice suggestion," she said, maybe not entirely joking. "He is awfully pretty..."

Zack grinned. "He really is."

There was a second where he expected to feel a pinch of jealousy, maybe the awareness that it was a fine thing to joke about but he couldn't have his cake and eat it too. Neither came.

Neither would come.

He remembered love. Aeris's love for him, his love for her, how their selves meshed together, echoed each other. Soulmates.

Aeris's love for Cloud. Bittersweet and sheltering, totally different from her feelings for Zack -- and not taking away any of it.

Zack loved Cloud too.

And Sephiroth. He was greedy like that.

"I suppose I've had a fair amount of brainsex with Sephiroth as well, as we count those things..."

"--Aeris, urgh."

He wrapped his arms farther around her. She smelled like soap and an aftertaste of ozone and rain, like the pool in the church that should have been stagnant water instead of a crystal-clear spring.

There was nothing that said he couldn't have several cakes anyway. Even if they never allowed themselves to be eaten. His fridge was big enough for everyone.

Heh.



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