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Teamwork 3 - chapter 7 - another part, naruto POV
Figured I needed to write that. It's still likely to be heavy-handed for now but i'll see about editing later.
I'm going to be rewording and reordering the parts of Sasuke's POV a LOT before I can figure out what works best, so... yeah, sorry for any confusion and it's all very much first-draft-y. I'll just repost the whole thing later when I'm done instead. XD;;
Shit I Wrote To Avoid Writing More NaNo:
9906 / 50000 words. 20% done!
(but you know, since it's teamwork i'm not gonna feel bad about it. XD)
He remembered being on the edge of victory. Protecting those who were his, and winning, wild and free. And then a touch, just one, and nothingness. Entombed in his own body.
He woke furious and it felt good. Made him feel strong, unstoppable. Ready to rewrite the world so it would never dismiss him again.
Never make him powerless him again, never get between him and those who belonged to him. And there was this enemy /prey/ just right there and getting in the middle and distracting him. It had no business being there. Trying to get in his way. Contesting his claim on his /bitch/ mate.
Not the same enemy, but in his way anyway, and that was enemy enough.
He grabbed the weapon that would have struck, and struck back. It was so laughably easy, making him feel insulted -- had that been supposed to hurt him?
Never ignore me again. Never make me powerless again. Never get between me and mine again.
Blood and tears on his prey's face, realizing defeat. It just made him angrier. Should have noticed earlier.
He cocked back his claws.
Soft baby face. Round cheeks. Baby scent still.
Konohamaru was looking back at him, horror and betrayal already bleeding out of his face.
He was hurting one of his. Why was he hurting one of his?
/Betrayal/ he thought, almost like a question but no, that wasn't right, that wasn't why he'd been so angry. Not betrayal, it hadn't been so why was he
god
not Konohamaru at all underneath him, sprawled on the ground, not Konohamaru but a child all the same, huge baby eyes and baby face and blind unconscious trust, because they'd had fun together and adversaries didn't mean enemies at all, and surely Naruto wouldn't -- Naruto wouldn't.
He was the one who'd betrayed first.
He threw himself off the child he'd been straddling, redhead little boy he'd impaled a second ago. Gagged on the reek of blood and guts.
He wanted to kill things, he was so angry but Konohamaru was not a thing, Konohamaru was his little-buddy student almost-cub and Naruto had betrayed him first.
He crawled back on hands and heels. Sat. Breathed. Konohamaru wasn't here on the island. He was back home. He was safe.
Could have been Hanabi instead, though. Hey, Hinata-chan, I killed /ate/ your little sister. How much do you love me now?
God. They weren't here, either of them, but there was a child here right now and he still remembered the way he'd torn that spear out of his hand and driven it right back through him, remembered the noise it made and the soft impact, almost like hitting a pillow.
"Naruto?" someone called. It took him a second to recognize the raw, wheezing voice.
He looked down the slope and it was almost worse than the child. There was blood all over his mate and she cradled her arm as she struggled to her knees. The blood he could have ignored, it spread a lot and wounds didn't have to be deep to paint someone all over, but he remembered the feel and taste of her flesh in his mouth and the sound of her bones cracking, like he might wake to remember someone's voice talking next to him as he slept.
He'd done that to her too.
"Naruto?"
He remembered her disrespecting him and for a second he was furious enough he started moving into a crouch, lifting his claws. She'd thought he was weak. Despite all his power she thought he was weak, inside, where it counted the most.
He had to prove her wrong. Being weak wasn't tolerable.
"...Are you alright?" she asked in a strangled voice.
He wasn't. God. He really wasn't. He shook his head to clear it, rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. Everything looked too sharp, too bright. Someone was sobbing in pure terror and the first thought he had wasn't 'hurt? Help?' but /food/.
"I. Sakura. I..."
There was a pause, and he heard her start to walk up the slope, slowly, cautious. He could smell her acrid fear from there.
It made him sick with dark pleasure and interest, a misplaced sense of rightness.
"I've got to go," he decided. He pushed himself up, standing. It felt a little unnatural, exposing his stomach like this, making himself less stable.
She was standing a dozen feet down and she froze when he moved, calculations running through her eyes, how far she should jump, where she should kick him to defend herself. "--wait. You can't. N-Naruto. You have to stay."
He laughed dryly. The way she said his name, it sounded like she wasn't even sure it was the right one. "What for?"
"You're my teammate! You've got to watch my back. That's why."
He laughed again. Protect her? What a joke. He was the one who'd done that to them.
Sakura licked her lips nervously, took a hesitant step closer. "I'll worry if --"
He flinched. "If you can't see where I'm coming from?"
"That's not what I was going to say!"
Naruto turned away, rubbing his face again. He still had claws, they wouldn't leave. "... Sorry. I've got to. I'll stay close. Our camp, okay? Gotta... stuff. Get our stuff."
He kicked off the rock before Sakura could call him back.
He ran. There were thickets and boulders and things. No animals, not even mice, he'd scared them all away. He was frustrated and glad about that both. He overshot their camp, he was running so fast. Whatever. Landed in the river, didn't even bother staying on top. Ran against the water.
It was cold. It dragged at him. Tripped him, rose up to his chest, sank him into deep holes with no warning. Relentlessly flowed against him.
He found a rock emerging in the middle of the stream and draped his arms over it, letting his legs dangle in the current.
What the hell had happened. What the hell had he done.
What had Kyuubi done?
He felt so immensely stupid. Somehow, subconsciously, he'd trusted the fox wouldn't be that bad -- fierce and angry and hard to manage, but manageable in the end. Because they were learning to live together, weren't they? Naruto let him see through his eyes sometimes. Let him rise close when he was with his mates. Kyuubi was always sarcastic and disturbing, but possessive of them too and for that Naruto could accept a lot. He'd learned how to hunt, had embraced the pleasure that came from it because it was a Kyuubi thing but he could give some ground, couldn't he? Because he didn't really like being a jailer for someone's life sentence. And Kyuubi was someone, not just a mass of random evil chakra that spoke, he had a past and a personality and tastes of his own.
Naruto felt so completely stupid for trusting him, even just a little. He felt dirty, too, for the rage he'd embraced so wholeheartedly. For the wariness and fear in his Sakura-chan's eyes.
For betraying first.
I'm going to be rewording and reordering the parts of Sasuke's POV a LOT before I can figure out what works best, so... yeah, sorry for any confusion and it's all very much first-draft-y. I'll just repost the whole thing later when I'm done instead. XD;;
Shit I Wrote To Avoid Writing More NaNo:
(but you know, since it's teamwork i'm not gonna feel bad about it. XD)
He remembered being on the edge of victory. Protecting those who were his, and winning, wild and free. And then a touch, just one, and nothingness. Entombed in his own body.
He woke furious and it felt good. Made him feel strong, unstoppable. Ready to rewrite the world so it would never dismiss him again.
Never make him powerless him again, never get between him and those who belonged to him. And there was this enemy /prey/ just right there and getting in the middle and distracting him. It had no business being there. Trying to get in his way. Contesting his claim on his /bitch/ mate.
Not the same enemy, but in his way anyway, and that was enemy enough.
He grabbed the weapon that would have struck, and struck back. It was so laughably easy, making him feel insulted -- had that been supposed to hurt him?
Never ignore me again. Never make me powerless again. Never get between me and mine again.
Blood and tears on his prey's face, realizing defeat. It just made him angrier. Should have noticed earlier.
He cocked back his claws.
Soft baby face. Round cheeks. Baby scent still.
Konohamaru was looking back at him, horror and betrayal already bleeding out of his face.
He was hurting one of his. Why was he hurting one of his?
/Betrayal/ he thought, almost like a question but no, that wasn't right, that wasn't why he'd been so angry. Not betrayal, it hadn't been so why was he
god
not Konohamaru at all underneath him, sprawled on the ground, not Konohamaru but a child all the same, huge baby eyes and baby face and blind unconscious trust, because they'd had fun together and adversaries didn't mean enemies at all, and surely Naruto wouldn't -- Naruto wouldn't.
He was the one who'd betrayed first.
He threw himself off the child he'd been straddling, redhead little boy he'd impaled a second ago. Gagged on the reek of blood and guts.
He wanted to kill things, he was so angry but Konohamaru was not a thing, Konohamaru was his little-buddy student almost-cub and Naruto had betrayed him first.
He crawled back on hands and heels. Sat. Breathed. Konohamaru wasn't here on the island. He was back home. He was safe.
Could have been Hanabi instead, though. Hey, Hinata-chan, I killed /ate/ your little sister. How much do you love me now?
God. They weren't here, either of them, but there was a child here right now and he still remembered the way he'd torn that spear out of his hand and driven it right back through him, remembered the noise it made and the soft impact, almost like hitting a pillow.
"Naruto?" someone called. It took him a second to recognize the raw, wheezing voice.
He looked down the slope and it was almost worse than the child. There was blood all over his mate and she cradled her arm as she struggled to her knees. The blood he could have ignored, it spread a lot and wounds didn't have to be deep to paint someone all over, but he remembered the feel and taste of her flesh in his mouth and the sound of her bones cracking, like he might wake to remember someone's voice talking next to him as he slept.
He'd done that to her too.
"Naruto?"
He remembered her disrespecting him and for a second he was furious enough he started moving into a crouch, lifting his claws. She'd thought he was weak. Despite all his power she thought he was weak, inside, where it counted the most.
He had to prove her wrong. Being weak wasn't tolerable.
"...Are you alright?" she asked in a strangled voice.
He wasn't. God. He really wasn't. He shook his head to clear it, rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. Everything looked too sharp, too bright. Someone was sobbing in pure terror and the first thought he had wasn't 'hurt? Help?' but /food/.
"I. Sakura. I..."
There was a pause, and he heard her start to walk up the slope, slowly, cautious. He could smell her acrid fear from there.
It made him sick with dark pleasure and interest, a misplaced sense of rightness.
"I've got to go," he decided. He pushed himself up, standing. It felt a little unnatural, exposing his stomach like this, making himself less stable.
She was standing a dozen feet down and she froze when he moved, calculations running through her eyes, how far she should jump, where she should kick him to defend herself. "--wait. You can't. N-Naruto. You have to stay."
He laughed dryly. The way she said his name, it sounded like she wasn't even sure it was the right one. "What for?"
"You're my teammate! You've got to watch my back. That's why."
He laughed again. Protect her? What a joke. He was the one who'd done that to them.
Sakura licked her lips nervously, took a hesitant step closer. "I'll worry if --"
He flinched. "If you can't see where I'm coming from?"
"That's not what I was going to say!"
Naruto turned away, rubbing his face again. He still had claws, they wouldn't leave. "... Sorry. I've got to. I'll stay close. Our camp, okay? Gotta... stuff. Get our stuff."
He kicked off the rock before Sakura could call him back.
He ran. There were thickets and boulders and things. No animals, not even mice, he'd scared them all away. He was frustrated and glad about that both. He overshot their camp, he was running so fast. Whatever. Landed in the river, didn't even bother staying on top. Ran against the water.
It was cold. It dragged at him. Tripped him, rose up to his chest, sank him into deep holes with no warning. Relentlessly flowed against him.
He found a rock emerging in the middle of the stream and draped his arms over it, letting his legs dangle in the current.
What the hell had happened. What the hell had he done.
What had Kyuubi done?
He felt so immensely stupid. Somehow, subconsciously, he'd trusted the fox wouldn't be that bad -- fierce and angry and hard to manage, but manageable in the end. Because they were learning to live together, weren't they? Naruto let him see through his eyes sometimes. Let him rise close when he was with his mates. Kyuubi was always sarcastic and disturbing, but possessive of them too and for that Naruto could accept a lot. He'd learned how to hunt, had embraced the pleasure that came from it because it was a Kyuubi thing but he could give some ground, couldn't he? Because he didn't really like being a jailer for someone's life sentence. And Kyuubi was someone, not just a mass of random evil chakra that spoke, he had a past and a personality and tastes of his own.
Naruto felt so completely stupid for trusting him, even just a little. He felt dirty, too, for the rage he'd embraced so wholeheartedly. For the wariness and fear in his Sakura-chan's eyes.
For betraying first.
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This part is breaking my heart. DDDD:
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*cackles evilly*no subject
It's good to be getting more Teamwork even if it's not helping your nanowrimo goal. <3
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I missed writing teamwork too. T.T<3<3<3
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Like a kick to the gut. ♥
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Then again, I seem to remember reference to events eventuating that render rank a rather moot point... ^_~
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Third paragraph, first line.
OMG ANGST. D: ANGST ANGST ANGST.
...I like. :D
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This came just when I needed it. Thanks to your muses. Will obsessively re-read now.
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...
Done reading it. I couldn't say anything while reading it because ... well, it kinda had me. Very scary. Sad. And it makes me worry.
Naruto seems less like himself than usual, and not just because of the horror. I'm guessing he's still running partly on Kyuubi instincts. Well, he usually does, but since he just came out of being "unconscious", he's picking up residue. The parts where he lacked empathy worry me (like when he thought of "food" or when he wanted to attack Sakura again). I hope he doesn't stay like that in the future. ;_;
Other than that, it was really well-written. I liked the bit where he confused the kid with Konohamaru. That startled me.
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You're right, Naruto still isn't really himself yet. So the syntax and other POV stuff I'm using are deliberately a little off from how I usually write him. It won't last, though.
... Well, not, like... forever.
*cackles*
Thank you, hon, i'm very glad to hear from you ^^
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I look forward to the next bit.
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