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=___= *bitch bitch whine*
I've been concritting stories recently, on the Gaia Online fanfiction forum amongst other places. Which as to the writing level is like FFnet but worse since there's almost zero goodfic to compensate, and people have the option of putting their fic in fancy text -- colored, italics, centered, tiny size, what have you. my eyes, they burrrnnn.
I'm sick and tired of :
-Sasuke was an evil bastard-traitor so naruto/sakura/kurenai/mary-sue betrayed Konoha and shacked up with his suave, tender, sensitive brother.
-Sasuke doesn't exist for Naruto and Sakura except as a jealous interrupting dickhead getting in the way of sweet, sweet narusaku love.
-Hinata being a prize for Naruto, by having Naruto save her because she sucks too much to even try to save herself and apparently that's good for her.
-Sakura goes "Sasuke who?"
-Sakura goes "Naruto who?"
-Sakura-sue.
-"Sakura, for some unexplained reason, is dying." ACTUAL DIALOGUE QUOTE FROM A DOCTOR. WHO THEN TELLS SASUKE TO LEAVE AS HIS WIFE DIES WAIT WHAT.
-Stalking and assholishness being construed as true love. CASE IN POINT: Temari being in love with Hinata (D: ???), Naruto also being in love with Hinata but never telling her woe sob sob, and after Hinata faints from Temari's declaration, Naruto hands her to Temari with a smile and a "you'll treat her better than I would have now go have lesbian sex" attitude, Temari is all whee so happy as she trots off carrying Hinata's unconscious body, and NEITHER OF THEM ASK HINATA HER OPINION.
Also today I saw the most horrendous blatant-sue ever. EVER. In about thirty purple, centered, tiny lines, she manages to : emo about her dead, black, uncaring soul like it's never been emoed before, have always been in love with Sasuke and he loved her back but betrayed her by leaving and so she doesn't love him anymore, use deidara's clay to kill Gaara, join the akatsuki on Deidara's recommendation, become Itachi's partner (kisame who?), have an ex-best-friend (named taisho kitty D:) who confided in HER ONLY about being another tailed beast vessel living in Konoha, and some other things but I repressed them out of self-defense.
I'm about all concritted out. Anyone who shoves badfic at me and asks me to "read my fic and tell me what you think!" will be severely chewed upon. >P
I'm sick and tired of :
-Sasuke was an evil bastard-traitor so naruto/sakura/kurenai/mary-sue betrayed Konoha and shacked up with his suave, tender, sensitive brother.
-Sasuke doesn't exist for Naruto and Sakura except as a jealous interrupting dickhead getting in the way of sweet, sweet narusaku love.
-Hinata being a prize for Naruto, by having Naruto save her because she sucks too much to even try to save herself and apparently that's good for her.
-Sakura goes "Sasuke who?"
-Sakura goes "Naruto who?"
-Sakura-sue.
-"Sakura, for some unexplained reason, is dying." ACTUAL DIALOGUE QUOTE FROM A DOCTOR. WHO THEN TELLS SASUKE TO LEAVE AS HIS WIFE DIES WAIT WHAT.
-Stalking and assholishness being construed as true love. CASE IN POINT: Temari being in love with Hinata (D: ???), Naruto also being in love with Hinata but never telling her woe sob sob, and after Hinata faints from Temari's declaration, Naruto hands her to Temari with a smile and a "you'll treat her better than I would have now go have lesbian sex" attitude, Temari is all whee so happy as she trots off carrying Hinata's unconscious body, and NEITHER OF THEM ASK HINATA HER OPINION.
Also today I saw the most horrendous blatant-sue ever. EVER. In about thirty purple, centered, tiny lines, she manages to : emo about her dead, black, uncaring soul like it's never been emoed before, have always been in love with Sasuke and he loved her back but betrayed her by leaving and so she doesn't love him anymore, use deidara's clay to kill Gaara, join the akatsuki on Deidara's recommendation, become Itachi's partner (kisame who?), have an ex-best-friend (named taisho kitty D:) who confided in HER ONLY about being another tailed beast vessel living in Konoha, and some other things but I repressed them out of self-defense.
I'm about all concritted out. Anyone who shoves badfic at me and asks me to "read my fic and tell me what you think!" will be severely chewed upon. >P
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And seriously? Besides the Sues and OOCness, why must everyone think that in order to be good a story has to have any romance at all? Why is so much fanfiction centered on who is getting into who's bed at which time? ._. I want my genfic, goshdarnit. Whatever happened to being friends and caring more about other things than sex?
/soapbox
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Okay, it's my own damn fault for offering, but it's kinda hard to be nice, polite and helpful all the time when what I really want to say is "bitch, are you smoking crack?". Thank god I have LJ for venting, like that I can keep my cool on gaia. x__x
Hee! I like me some romance, but you're right that sometimes the romance really feels tacked on and we probably don't need as much of it as what's out there. There's nothing wrong with an action/adventure plot where no one shacks up, either. D: *petpet*
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*ninja's into the shadows, realizing you don't know who I am*
Now I feel more like a stalker than I usually do ;.;
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Dude, ShadowNinja's so have the cooler name. But I got the opposite end of the couch, and it's comfy.
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I feel like a Sifl and Ollie character.
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Greed's Hos
Couch Ninjas
Whorish Fansluts
See, they get all the cool names.
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"Don't worry, my little chesterfield," Itachi reassured Couchninja, using his Uchiha-clan Hot-Breath-Of-the-Salamander to dry the polish on his nails, before holding his precious little couch-flower to his manly chest. "I will be here always for you, and we will raise your son together. He won't even need to know about Sasuke, because we'll just tell him I am his father."
"Sasuke who?" whispered CouchNinja, her breath dancing across Itachi's manly collarbone, like a fresh spray of Febreze on a couch that smells like wet dog.
Itachi gathered CouchNinja into his manly arms, and carried her bridal style to their bedroom. Itachi was wearing tight leather pants and a mesh shirt with earrings that matched his swirling Sharingan eyes of love. Manly earrings. Couchninja sighed as Itachi lowered her to their bed. Their room was a bright cave, with a skylight, and the bed was all covered in silk sheets that were black with red clouds that matched Itachi's Akatsuki cloak. He only wore his cloak when he was doing humanitarian work: saving puppies and running a food bank. Except that Sasuke kept trying to get the food bank evicted, and had convinced everyone that the Akatsuki were a criminal organisation, when really they were just trying to help make the world a better place. After all, they were partners with Bono in the Red campaign to raise awareness about AIDS. And Itachi always had a red ribbon on his cloak, to show his manly sensitivity.
So CouchNinja sighed on the bed, and Itachi admired how she looked, with her fertile belly blossuming like a melon under the frothy layers of her white lace nightgown. He used his Sharingan eye to check on the baby. Then he kissed her on the cheek, and left to see whether Kisame and Sakura: the best underwater medical rescue team of the Akatsuki were back from the Bermuda Triangle.
author's note: omg! itachi ftw! 11111
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OMG !!!1! WAIWAI SOOOO KOWAIII (that means kyute *^o^*) aww Itachi is such a sweetheart~ n sASSuke dont deserve couchninja anyway, he sucks and he's evil and lame and his head looks like a duck butt. itachi is SOOOOOOOOOOO much hotter. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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So, I should so totally write a sequel: When Sakura arrives, she and CouchNinja become BFF! And then they all go dancing at a club together. And Sakura is pregnant too, and they have matching sparkly maternity minidresses.
Itachi's chakra keeps transferring to the baby (I read this story once, it was kind of long and confusing, with hardly any romance, about Sakura having a baby, and the Kyuubi's chakra was in her, even though nobody knew whether sASSuke or Naruto was the father, because whoever wrote it totally made Sakura into a SLUT!!!) anyway, I thought the chakra idea was neat, so when Itachi is checking on the baby with his Sharingan (so, she doesn't need to go to a doctor or anything), his chakra gets transferred to the baby, and then when he's born he has black hair with pink streaks, and his Sharingan eyes are already activated, only they're pink, and he has lines o his face just like Itachi. Because of the chakra.
*fangirl squealing* - And I totally need to come up with a theme song for them. Sakura and Kisame's theme song is "Under the Sea", and I'm planning a sidestory where Sasuke uses Sexy No Jutsu to transform himself into a mermaid and tries to steal Kisame away from Sakura. But CouchNinja recognizes his stupid hair, and then Itachi, like evaporates the whole lake with a big fireball.
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They're like coke, only harder on breathing.
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♥♥♥
*likes stalkers so that's okay* XD
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Cluebat solves -everything-! Either they get a clue, or they are unconscious and can't bother you. It's a win-win situation.
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I tell you what. If you feel the need to flaggellate yourself on the harsh, uncaring internets, why don't you have a go at the world-building project I've got going on over at my LJ? It can be found under 'tbh' tag.
I feel kinda dirty now. But dammit, I need feedback on that bloody thing.
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^^; Sorry, I don't want to crit anything ever again. Or at least for a few days/weeks/months. i'mma gonna go and write me some threesome pr0n right now. yeah. that's what i'll do. porn and booze. ideal day.
yeah. x_x
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So you can stop doing that to yourself, now.
*offers hugs for comfort and booze to drown the pain*
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♥ thank you, lovely. *cuddlesnug*
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If you think about it there are a lot of 13-under people on Gaia so if you're looking for something half-decent - er. Wait. Nevermind. (the last one broke my brain WTF x.x;; )
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Don't let it get to you!
(Anonymous) 2007-02-10 03:55 am (UTC)(link)Anyway, I just wanted to let you know there is hope for humanity. When I first starting reading your LJ, I read something that made me go "hey! I do that! What's wrong with it?" but then thought: "Wait... you're right; that doesn't make much sense."
I don't even remember what it was, but I feel like reading your journal has given me greater insight on the world of Naruto and just how to write something enjoyable in general. So... I wanted to tell you that you do get through to some people. Except now I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find fanfics I actually like.
Re: Don't let it get to you!
*cuddlelovelicks* ♥♥♥
yeeeah, I know what you mean. That's the price of deciding to have standards, I guess. Much harder to just have fun with anything when you're busy whining that it's not perfect enough. ;_;
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(Anonymous) 2007-02-11 05:46 am (UTC)(link)I'm too picky to get headaches like that. If I don't like the summery, the pairing, if it's not completed, the rating, etc, I won't even look at it. And if I'm bored at any point it's hello back-button. I don't even bother concritting and I *definately* wouldn't *search* for poor fics to "help". If I like it, I might say so. If the author *asks* for my opinion and I *don't* like it...they better *pray* I don't crit, 'cause...their fragile little hearts are screwed.
Like all the extra emphasis?
Fandom means never having to say "Man, this was a bad idea."
You just broke my brain. It went squish, then dribbled out my ears. I need to go get a mop now.
Temari...Hinata...please tell me that this was a product of randomly braining themselves with a keyboard and that this was an anomaly, that no actual thought was put into this.
Why must you martyr yourself like this? First the filler eps, now this?!
Gather, loyal stalkers, for we must build a shrine (made of pr0n) to this endurer of foulness!
That has to be the bravest thing EVER
I don't even want to think about some of those as fic.
Would a really good YouTube AMV (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZa7xzDbTi4&mode=related&search=) make you feel better?
*Goes back to stalking*
Re: That has to be the bravest thing EVER
I'm more or less over it now. Already going back to gaia and all XD *masochistic* XDDD